Have you ever felt like your life’s been a rollercoaster; one sec you are on the top of the World, the next you’re hurtling down to dumps?

For me this oppressive feeling of going up and then down began back in my Junior high school days, in my eighth grade to be precise.

Before then, every moment in life was like a test run. There were exams, extracurricular activities, and the usual social pressures. But as the campus life appeared over the hills, things suddenly began to turn serious.

“These are some of the most important years of your life,” uninvited counsel would leave me rattled. “Make the best use of them if you want to be somebody”.

Every single thing, no matter how big or small, had begun to take a more serious effect. I would be swamped with ‘uncalled’ for suggestions. Clearly people were too eager to put in their two cents. If I didn’t do something right, my life was over. If somehow I did make some headway in the right direction, my future was mapped out and I was all set!

My life as I knew it was kinda white-knuckled ride with clinical rotations-unpredictable, distraught and always in an emotional flux. Reflecting is what I guess I did a hell of a lot then. I was constantly analyzing my decisions and would pounce immediately to judge my following conduct. I was deconstructing every nook and cranny of my hours and poring over my response every time. Was I was attempting hard to be better than I was the day before?

Some days this felt healthy, on others it would reek toxic.

Bit by bit I was beginning to realize that when you analyze every little thing in your life and try to put everyone else’s feelings before your own, it begins to eat you up. Your life then becomes more about correcting ‘mistakes’ rather than learning and growing from them.

May be for this reason alone I came to absolutely abhor the idea. “It is what it is.” I don’t really know why, but I did. Every time it made my skin crawl. I always thought, “Well it might be the way it is, but I think I can change what it is and it can be better”. Of course that turned out to be true in sometimes, but not always.  At times I just needed to accept things the way they were.

I reckon being headstrong or defiant for what you truly cannot control only lead to turmoil.

I fancy that– when things happen unexpectedly and begin to hit like a kick in the stomach, I need to allow myself to feel the feelings that come naturally. But I also keep intentionally reminding myself that I can learn from the experience. It helps and then I move on with the situation rather than struggle against it or try to “swim upstream.”

Keep Smiling-There’s a Friend in You

If you’re someone like me, it’s easy to set the bar unrealistically high. It’s easier to put an unwholesome noxious pressure on yourself every single day. Trust me it’s still simpler to block out feelings that need to be felt, and it’s easy to pretend that everything is Ok when it’s not. It is in this state of mind you’ll then find yourself wondering how or why you are struggling to stay afloat. You will miss the signs until one day you can’t ignore any of your problems any longer. This is when you’ve hit a breaking point. What’s been bottled up for so long will eventually spill over. The feelings will be overwhelming and you’ll be hit right where it hurts most, crushing your gentle and sensitive heart that you had tried so hard to protect. Nothing seems right then and the end doesn’t seem to be anywhere near. What was completely ‘fine’ for you one day turns into a complete mess in a moment.

You may think that once you get hold of your world, life will be a little easy and you’d be able to handle whatever it threw your way. Once settled there “should” be less “on your plate.” Plus, you’ve been around the block and know how to handle things. But, for many of us, newer miseries keep us busy. Aging parents, aging bodies, fragmenting connections; you may have different ways to say endless. But ‘the blues’ are unquestionably there.

Yeah, we may not have the same kinds of stress we had in our 20’s or 30’s, but it’s still unforgiving. It can totally cause emotional exhaustion. Maybe that’s the reason we need to remain calm, handle what life throws at us and be close to our heart.

This might be the story you know all too well. Just a gentle reminder!… even the strongest among us can’t completely protect their hearts for hearts aren’t meant to be protected. They are meant to be opened and shared with others.

So, be a little kinder to yourself and understand that nothing’s going to hurt you unless you want it to. We all are worthy of all the amazing things that life has to offer. We deserve to feel connected through heart, regardless of what our mind is telling us. All we need to do is keep reminding ourselves that we are entitled to feel happy, intelligent, loved, appreciated, undeniably beautiful and everything in between.

It knows all things!

Give yourself the advice you would give to your best friend, because you sure wouldn’t let them settle for anything less. Don’t wait for something to break the cycle of your life; show up for yourself. Find yourself, share your voice and be proud to be heard.

It is okay to feel things. I know it may be scary to let someone in but you know well you can light up the world with your heart and soul. So dance in your colors, move away from the dark. And never forget that you have everything you need right within your heart. If you fall, catch yourself and if you succeed, celebrate with a clinking glass of champagne.

It always feels good when you look up to your biggest cheerleader!