There is nothing more liberating than not caring about what other people think of us. And yet it’s still so hard not to wonder, or worse worry how people keep us in mind. Sometimes we go a step further and let these perceptions hold us back from doing things we so badly want to do in life.

Does this mean that we’re afraid of embarrassing ourselves in front of those we haven’t met or may never see again? Is there something that stops us from living our lives to an absolute full? Why do we let any of this happen to us and who’s to decide if we’re good enough or not to be happy?

For me, everything that we do sums up to us only and everything else is just somewhat of an excuse. I have always had a passion for self development. And yet I endured months of anxiety and worries wondering about my abilities to do the right stuff. With that spell of unease behind me haven’t I started writing without caring for the end? What if no one reads my piece? Do I care if people think of this as silly of me and a waste of time?

In short, I simply love doing what I do. I’ve put aside the misery and hiccups that follow discovering something anew. If you ask me, if there is something you love doing, then do it. There is so much of ability and confidence that flows thereafter. It would let you truly enjoy your moment- meant only for you and not for anyone else.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about sprucing up and adding value to my life. Sometimes it’s been about correcting my ways to reach a cherished end; sometimes it concerned my well being, getting in better shape or even taking care of relationships. The ultimate purpose was to be happy and fulfilled. So I thought, why not agree to a condition that might come up with a best possible end?

I think an easy way to do that is to ‘Do more of the things you love and less of the things you like’. If you think your life needs a makeover, it’s the only way you can make it happen. Just as much you should cut back on things you like to make room for what you love, you should also cut back on the shoulds.

You Need To Be Kinder To Yourself

I quit jogging at 50 when I found it was hurting my knees and feet and I could no longer keep up. It had occurred to me how important moving outside was to my mental health.

Today I start the day with a half-mile mindful walk, noticing and appreciating my surroundings all the while. It’s hard to tell what difference it has made to my perspective on what really matters in life. I guess I’m now drawn closer to myself. I feel contended and in good mood always since I’m grateful for all that I have.  It’s like relishing a cup of hot cappuccino in bed on weekend morning and a good movie to look ahead to later in the day.  No caveats and no Monday blues to worry about!

Altogether, briefer and gentler bouts of activity have left a positive impact on my mental health.

Yet, I guess there is even more to this!

For most of us, the first experience of organized physical activity comes at school at an age when we’re too dumb assed to speculate about how any of it helps in our well being.

“Is it something that I’ve chosen to do in my leisure time, or something that I have to do at school?” Woefully, I myself could never find the answer to that. Years later when in College I discovered that strength based exercise was the most clinically meaningful way to experience the uplifting effects of any activity.

It’s so easy to recognize that any form of exercise, physical or intellectual does not “happen” only to our physical self but touches our sensibilities too. There are times when even getting out of bed feels like an achievement. And yet there’s always enough room for redress. All you need is, be self-forgiving and gentler to yourself. Howsoever twisted things have been for you, you’ll always find a way out.

Trust me; you will be back on your feet in no time.

So stop hurting yourself. It won’t be long before you’ll feel driven by a strong reason or desire to do something worthwhile.

All of this sounds mighty obvious. But to be happy, you ought to be doing things that’d make you happy.

Ok, But What If You Are Just Too Worn Out?

What would you do when you want to do something that you think you’ll enjoy but simply can’t because you have little energy left in you? You are unenthused, beaten and just too tired to care. Of course it’s effortless to do the easiest thing like surfing the net or watching videos mindlessly for hours but these thoughtless activities do little or nothing to pep up anything.

Here are two things I guess will work as great fixes for you;

Don’t worry about anything

Worrying about how you spend your time is likely to tire you out even more and make you feel guilty for having missed so much. Sometimes, you may not be left with enough energy to bounce around and might settle to watch videos for awhile.

And that’s Ok. Lying low or sitting tight for a little while is restorative, builds you up and clears the decks for you.

So, set a good intention for yourself and enjoy the time you have.

It’s important to ‘think but not worry’

Whenever I reminded myself that I could be losing ground or falling short, a sense of guilt about how I’ve spend my time, would overwhelm me. It went on like this for years. Perhaps I had tried to turn the things I want to do into things I have to do.

See…if you don’t meet an obligation you’ll feel bad and would probably try to amend. But if you don’t make everything an obligation, you’re less likely to feel bad because you can’t do everything.

Today not everything is an obligation for me. I am reminded of that when I find me saying “I should do this and should do that”.

It’s down to you in the end. You’d rather do well to get down and fill more of your time with the things you enjoy doing. And be mindful of this intent because it is a helpful reminder that your time is often limited by things beyond your control.

Not intrigued yet? Imagine it this way! You’ve never attempted to run a marathon or tried water-skiing without a life jacket. Even mere thought of attempting fails to excite you. You’re as incurious and disinterested like always. And it’s highly likely that you’ll endure unchanged. Even so you can count on this;

You are more likely to regret not watching the sunset because you were too busy with your phone or doing things you weren’t passionate about but because you were too busy worrying about unlocking a lot of hidden joys.

You wouldn’t know but ‘Happiness is so much closer than you think‘!