We’ve all been there…

You follow your diet religiously for a week and then jump to a neighborhood bistro for an extended weekend binge. And all the while you keep comforting yourself; “I’ll work out a bit more this week; maybe hit the gym for two days straight”. You know very well what a struggle it is for you these days to even get off the couch after a long day at work. Of course your career promises exciting possibilities but it’s a pity; your everyday pledges and promises keep dragging you down. In fact you are well aware that nothing worthwhile is likely to happen even in your dream until months later.

I’ve been there too, but as time passed something important began to evolve in my life; something huge that was to usher in a few hurrah moments for me later. I realized I was in full control of my life. Small hiccups no longer made me feel a failure. In fact I felt more seen, more connected and perhaps more human!

Unashamedly I’d also sometimes slip up on my habits. And it persisted until I realized that it isn’t motivation or will power alone that will put me back in business every time I stumble. It will be the ability to fix things and recover fast after a failure that will ensure a win for me

Did this mean I needed time to make up for the missed updates and get back on track?

Personally I think one way to describe the act of catching up is managing and delivering on things one should have done earlier. The problem is that when you get too many at the same time, catching up becomes a reality instead of something you’d otherwise prefer to do once in a while. In which case you’ll feel like you are falling behind and need to do something to close in.

I still wince when I think about the half holiday Saturdays that I used to spend at the office staring at my computer trying to catch up. The trauma of being left out never gave me a moment’s peace. Always on edge I’d cringe awkwardly. A sense of exclusion anxiety would overwhelm me so much so that I’d straighten up and push my limits. Was it meant to make the week ahead easier? No! That didn’t make any more money for me. But maybe this way I could keep up with the joneses at work and perhaps take a break even though I worked on holidays as well. I wonder if any of that was meant to prove what a hard worker I was. Or did I fear the guilt of falling behind? Was it because I had way too much to do?

Whatever, keeping pace and catching up turned into a habit at work so fast that I began doing it at home as well.

For all legit reasons though, none of this ever got me catch-up.

There was always more.

At first I thought it was my fault. Why can’t I keep up? Why can’t I find my stride amidst the chaos? What’s stopping me to sync my efforts to the stack of overflowing obligations?

Over time this illusion of emotional ambush changed my perspective. I had zoned out on me; completely tuned out; “What if I just am where I am and that is ok? It will all get done, or it won’t”. Whenever I’d have extra time, instead of taking care of myself, I would do more of catching up, unaware that I was creating even more work for myself.

The more I did, the more there was waiting for me.

This insanity of catching up went on every step of the way for me. Until I realized that something had slipped my radar completely. If you take a full day, weekend or a week and set aside all the things you enjoy doing for a moment, you surely can get everything done that you regret not having done earlier. Perhaps this will make you feel better; everyone will love you and everything will be fine.

The reality however is that catching up never ends. There is always more.

Just the same…

These 4 gentle rules helped me slow down a bit and made a little space for me to be ok being where I was, instead of working harder to be somewhere else; only to find out that ‘I am in the same place … catching up and faltering again’.

Be there when it counts

If you are focusing on what didn’t get done yesterday or what needs to get done tomorrow, your full attention can’t be on what’s going on right now. You’ll never be your most interested self if you worry about things that you haven’t done yet.

Choosing to be in the present is a practice. Choose to come back to yourself whenever anxiety hits you hard about something that’s not happening right now. A few deep breaths, a hand on your heart and these tactical movements will bring you back to a more peaceful place.

Shut People Out

This one is so hard. You know well that guys left behind at Office must have worked their butts off to make sure everything went smoothly while you were away. It’s obvious that ignoring their needs during the first few days of your disengagement is tough but obvious and inescapable. It’s a lot easier to tell them right off the bat that you’d be under a pile of work for the next few days and to please hold on a little longer. Files dumped at your spot right away are the last thing you’d have enough courage to handle valiantly. Reschedule calls and hold back on decisions that could wait for a while. Trust me; this will work as your bright selling point.

Shape Your Space for a Win

If you think that you need greater resolve and heightened drive to persist in your efforts then here’s something to cheer you up. You really don’t. Motivation is a fickle beast driven by sudden whims rather than a steady purpose. Because it’s wild and uncontrollable, it’s difficult.  Some days it inspires, on others it slouches. So if you’re looking for a consistent change, the last thing you’d want to rely on is something that’s inconsistent.

This implies that your identity and not the end result or a schedule instead of a deadline, is one breezy means to prime your place and curate your win. You’ll also find going back to developing a roadmap for success a lot easier.

Then there are people around us who influence our behavior, color our perspective and sometimes sway our actions. Insentient things also have the impact to influence the outcome. To cut a long story short; the signs we see, the things at your desk, the photo frame on the mantle in the front room the verdant greenery along the driveway – these are the missing pieces around us that can drive us to make a move.

Mindfulness

Based on how you interpret this word, broadly covering attention, protection and everything else it’s associated to, it sounds simple. But it’s just as hard when it comes to holding on to a habit that’s actually important to you. Sometimes forgetting it means it never was important to you. And when it actually takes off, you spend precious time chasing things that otherwise you wouldn’t really care about. On the other hand when you fall short, you feel guilty for an inconsequential defeat; a loss that has no real impact on your actual happiness.

We all have so much energy to put towards our next 24 hours. Isn’t that true? So pick up a habit you care about. If it really matters to you, then find a way to make it work for you. This will help you in catching up the missed work, but not till you recognize why do you have to spend so much time to draw level and why it always feel like you are falling behind.

“It’s too much. I’ve been doing way too much” you may lament. Indeed the road from too much to much less is not easy, but it’s vital for your happiness. So, simplify anything and everything. If you’re short on time and unable to catch up, ‘start afresh’. Of course this means declaring email bankruptcy, snoozing social media and staying wildly uninformed- briefly. Simply said, let go of what others think of you.

Change is a tough nut to crack. In the beginning, you may be tempted to take two steps forward and one step back. But anticipating the backward one is what makes all the difference. You’ll be back in business each time you think you’re adrift.

Most of this may sound like obvious advice but if you’re feeling left behind, and overwhelmed to catch up with things, you need to understand that there are busier stages of life and always enough room to cut back. Start small. Be curious. Ask why. Those 5-10 minutes will save some of your time, some of your energy and some of your life.

After all this isn’t about balance, this is about priority.