Tag Archives: #Beauty

All Lives Matter – It’s Time To Say ‘We Don’t See Color’!

Image source: ‘How to Talk to Young Children About Skin Color’ by Ron Grady in readbrightly.com

I am the one who believes that all people are equal. I judge them for their personalities not their skin color. Black, brown, white or yellow; it doesn’t matter. We are born all the same. And you don’t have to speak the same tongue to be friends just as long you can understand each other.

Ever since I was a little boy I have not seen much but learned a great deal about racism. Here in this country nobody tells anybody to discuss it. Nobody has told me to talk with people of same skin color and possibly the same language only. Frankly people have so much in their hands to give a hoot. In fact nobody wants to hear it, nobody wants to know about it, nobody even cares. For them it’s unfair to discriminate on ethnic terms. It just feels so wrong.

Yet the commotion of racism in a world full of differently colored people never stops. Its unending backlash keeps ricocheting now and then in one place or the other. Consequences are the reprisals that often end in pain and hurt many.

Imagine yourself in a date with your beau or gal from a different race. It’s not fair to ask but wouldn’t you hesitate? Isn’t the fear of harsh reality of color prejudice buried deep within you tries to shut you down in their company? Would you dare hold their hand in public? Wouldn’t you rather upend your relationship than socialize along with them?

If you are brave enough to say ‘no’ you’ll most likely be shamed as a ‘racist’; if you do I’d certainly be the one to buck you up for not caring about their skin color but the heart that throbs for you beneath it.

Still, do you think there will be no more tourist attacks because everybody is friends with everybody even from a foreign land? It’s a hard guess but not inconclusive. Choices are compelling but the world we know can still be made a much better to live and thrive if it isn’t for an irrational fear and dislike for pale or dark or brown colorism that verge on cronyism for lighter skin.

Even to this day it’s difficult to get a job outside your coterie not because of your inefficiency but the recruiting agent finds it wiser to look the other way when narrowing down the list more because of his cynical bigotry. I call this creaming off narrow minded racial profiling. With obvious joblessness many are left with no choice but to start a business on their own. Even if they get to pick up one it’s not certain if they’ll get any coworker to lend a hand, again because of their skin color. So technically they stay jobless.

People of this world with a different skin color are largely an unhappy heartbroken race. Do you know why? Their history that spans a long period has endured an extensive experience marked by bitterness and Powers’ that never flinched to jump to cut or sting. Their gradual fall from grace has been rude and shocking.

Of course campaigns have brought awareness but haven’t necessarily got rid of the deep-rooted beliefs. Nobody has managed to find a way to help the dark-skinned women feel beautiful in their own skin no matter what their skin tone. “You are fair. Everything looks good on you”; the mockery hasn’t given way to a conscious appreciation.

Don’t you think if we judge people on their skin tone we might as well be telling ‘Gods’ they made a mistake. White’ is easy even if it’s not stark but a streak of ‘Darkness robs luminosity. Shadeism surfaces full on, overshadowing the fact that every human being is made for a reason. Nobody is here to be judged or bullied. Life that we know of would be much better if we didn’t think of people by their skin color.

My take!

Just think of what you would say to the next person that you see that doesn’t have the same skin color as you! Your thoughts will rattle you for a while. Your judgment will firstly betray you with a harsh opinion about other skin color. But your slant need not cloud your belief. Care for them, the same as your best friend. Of course, you don’t have to tell them your secrets, but look upon them nicely even if you’re racist or not.

Image source: ‘We are one’ in lycanlover.com

We Are All Different Shades Of A Single Hue

Just a few days ago while shopping, I saw a dark complexioned woman buying a fairness crème at the same utility store. Honestly, I did not know what to feel. I was rather shocked at someone valuing fair skin tone even to this day. Does that really make someone feel that it’s possible to lighten one’s skin tone? What bothered me more was how deep seated this conviction is even when most of us are aware that you can’t really do much to change your skin tone. Seems like people have forgotten to slight those bizarre ads claiming to Illuminate Your Beauty with Radiant Fairness” .and shrug off the idea of buying unrealistic fairness crèmes!

I remember as a kid someone categorically telling me that if I eat enough beetroot through my junior days I will be blessed with a fair skin tone! No wonder our obsession with fair skin tone begins with the ‘belly’ even before the birth!

My reality though is simple; I as a person do not value myself any less because of the color of my skin.

But  is there truly any end to this? Will we all ever be equal for once?

One good reason why everybody looks away when it comes to ‘color at work’ is that it’s too damn easy to jump to some very unhelpful expressions; “I don’t see color” or “I don’t mind working alongside people of color”. For many it’s an unquestioned conviction. And it’s equally hard for them to keep pushing oneself to believe that “We all are equal. We are all one human race and skin color is irrelevant”. In fact it’s one such compelling idea that fits neatly with their idea of progress and supremacy.

I would say it’s unfair not to admit that this is how even some people of color feel too. I know of those who have denied their own backgrounds simply because it did not fit with their thought of “This is how I want to see myself”. Perhaps not proud of their complicated heritage or even feeling confused of being differently colored; people are known to deny respect to themselves. They may breathe easy by saying that color discrimination doesn’t exist for me’ but it’s as good as denying a part of themselves.

I think maybe it’s better than seeing one color only. The shocking incidents of George Perry Floyd Jr.-the African American and Amt Cooper -white dog walker from Canada are a grim reminder to the irony that reducing someone down to their skin color spawns a whole bunch of negative assumptions around them. Quietly sheltered and kept under wraps thisovert racism’ is a shocking hint to them that the only thing that matters but hurts most is that the World around is oblivious of them and is inattentive.

Image source: ‘7 Most Common Reasons/Types of Employment Discrimination’ in employmentlawassist.com

Do We Need To Talk About It?

I don’t think that we really have to take notice of it even if there’s very little of it. For many it helps to keep the myth of progress alive and unquestioned. It prevents all conversations about the how different the experiences and needs of these ‘color groups’ are.

Tricky race dynamics apart, racism tends to be more prevalent for some ‘groups’ over others. Except that none has the courage to acknowledge it.

I wonder if people still believe that skin color determines a person’s worth.  Or am I naive enough not to accept the unacceptable? Isn’t this a colossal denial of a tranquil existence?

For a moment my answers may belie your assumptions. Your judgment may dither and at some point may dissent enough to be your restful escape from reality. But do something right even if only you are there to witness. It’s a way to the highest most altruistic form of integrity. Get out of the box without sizing the audience.

Besides you need more sunshine than anything else if your cheeky ego has scored one up on your subtle sensibilities. Color discrimination is passé.  Treat every ‘color’ as your best friend. Black lives matter’, tags and images are not there any longer and will never help.

It will be a small victory, but to millions it would give hope. It will make them feel I’m not alone any more. It would make me realize that there are many around me who care and want to change the way the world perceives skin color.

Think about it…

Aren’t we all different shades of the same color?

FIVE SIMPLE LIFE LESSONS THAT COULD MAKE PEOPLE FIND YOU MORE #ATTRACTIVE- BESIDES LOOKS!

Not everything’s always about looks.!!

Being attractive to other people is not always dependent on how we look. How many times have we seen the attraction go flying out of the window, the moment he or she opens his or her mouth? Truth is…the key to everything that fascinates others lies within us.

Find out what could make people find you awesome and more attractive- beyond the physical.

Sometimes even science can’t convince me. The most important characteristic is also the most basic. If I were to ask you what quality would you prefer most in a person, wouldn’t it be … kindness? Predictably, this is one positive sentiment that is shared right across the board and perhaps one benevolent choice that could make heads turn in appreciation.

This is kind of baffling!!.. because no where would you find advice on how to be niceexcept that we’d all be so much better off simply by being kind rather than spending hours in front of the mirror. And it doesn’t take a lot to reveal this. Being on time, letting the other order first and choose where to sit and being polite to the waitress… these small acts of kindness are clear ways to show that you are concerned…. and in all probability kind too.

But isn’t it true that when it comes to make a choice, it’s what the other person represents and symbolizes is more compelling and attractive? None of us would miss the opportunity to be rather the one that others look upon us to be, than judge ourselves the way we truly are.

Believe me, we all would readily gift ourselves this much of concession whenever the need arise.

The ultimate hunt : It’s ‘nice’ and ‘sensible’ that finish first

When men think of a companion they imagine a woman who is open for adventure, sensual and cares little or nothing for what others think of her. These are the women who prefer to play by their own rules and live by their share of ikigai.

Women also have their share of stumbling when it comes to being hearty in their priorities. Sensible choices manifest in laboratories only. It’s a bit different in real life. Slave to habits, women usually have a hard time breaking cycles of poor choices and keep falling for the wrong kind of guy. Even after they get burned they would go out and do it again.

Sadly, expectations do sometimes turn into ruined intentions. In a world where we endure a monotonous life with an overwhelming number of rules and regulations, we find allure of even bad mates as incredibly appealing. Sometimes the temporary excitement that this fascination represents is too much to just let go..

So, how do you find preference over others, when you know that people may doubt what they see in you but will believe what you do?

The fastest way to do this happens only if you turn yourself into a bundle of curiosity and start learning a few simple but rewarding tricks.

These three simple actions are the recipe to quick and amazing results. Follow them and you could actually redefine yourself as more attractive a person besides your looks, to be the right choice for those who prefer a healthy and everlasting relationship.

Forget playing it cool.

Even speed dating events – where decisions are made in mere matter of minutes- simple interest builds up attraction. So how to make heads turn and others take notice of you? Listen closely, inquire moderately, hold your tongue so that you appear more polite and less inquisitive and ask questions that are witty but not frivolous. Believe me, these are known to work like an aphrodisiac!!.. could kindle a flame in your companion and in all probability make the other person find you more attractive than ever before.

Consider body movements.

These simple muscle flexing activities are controlled by the limbic part of the brain, the one that is responsible for our feeling of fascination, attraction and eventually love. Leaning towards the other person, smiling, keeping eye contact, are the three positive body actions that needs no words to build a connect to your advantage.

A smile is worth more than a thousand words.

“The things  I found most beautiful about a person are almost never physical”. # Slickwords

A positive personality always bridge emotions and physical attractiveness. It’s not groundbreaking of course but men are indeed attracted to pleasant, cheerful and positive women. These personality attributes blend easily not only because of their intense physical appeal but because they carry social attraction as well- a key issue when it comes to choosing a soul mate.

Of course, a lot depends on the context of the man in question, his age, maturity level, relationship status, and current needs in life— just a few of the many factors that are key to his attraction toward women.

This isn’t to say that you need to put on a happy face 24/7, but if you focus on being friendly and are open to meeting new people, it’s a win-win. Wisely put it’s all about having a open mind, warm heart and longing soul behind a smiling face that makes the day for those who are in the fray to win.

The truth holds something more respectful for a woman. It’s her unique hobbies, skills and interests that make her more attractive as a relationship partner. There certainly is no need for her to be the same as everyone else to be attractive. Being herself is always a much better choice. The more she could demonstrate her true self, the more she could make a man feel as if he has met the most wonderful person of his lifetime.

Happiness is actually is one most attractive emotion expression and a smiling face draws admiration all round. A scowling one definitely isn’t the right choice for anybody to draw attention let alone win over appreciation. When you smile and generally look happy, you look more open and less intimidating.

Remember…a smile could move mountains!!

Down to basics of attraction

Deep down, do guys really prefer nice women?

Yes, but men strongly associate nice woman as one who is not twice as funny, exciting and open as they fantasize.  Of course this is not meant to be a blanket statement and often not true, but then perception is everything.

And how could a girl attract a nice guy?

The best she could do is to demonstrate alluring qualities of a bad girl as imagined to have, without actually being bad. Its not a hard guess to know what guys want. She could show that she is open to trying new things, love being funny, adventurous, exciting, and has a sensual side too, without staging all the drama that a typical male fantasy brings to the table. The more she could portray these while still being the one elusive nice girl, the more she could make a man feel weak at knees.

For men, the excitement of an adrenaline rush would not be easy to pass by.

Don’t let go of people who could make you smile, laugh and feel loved

Being and remaining attractive to other person could be hard when you are looking for a long term relationship. Even in a new one, finding ways to spruce up your attraction don’t come easy. But, lesser attraction doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. If you run out of luck to look attractive to your partner despite having tried different techniques, its time to revisit your relationship.

Sometimes attraction thins away when we ignore what we have faltered in.

It’s all about priorities and deciding what one truly wants in life. Once we come to terms with the poor choices that we make while trying to look amazing to other and what we truly want in the other person instead, we can help ourselves and make the right decisions. Could there ever be a better emotional reward for us than to turn compelling and truthful in our choices?

Being attractive and building upon a soulful relationship has its own share of sins and doesn’t come easy. You need to take time off to get to know the other person, change from strangers to friends and see them in every single light you ever wanted in the first place.

So, learn to revel in your true self and the better side of you will find ways to reveal itself… beyond physical of course.

With any luck you might find the mysterious connection of being attractive –inside out more rewarding than you would have ever thought!!