Tag Archives: #Fulfilling

Being comfortable in retirement is something everybody aspire to. But what if we can have it backwards? The myth of waiting for retirement for a fulfilling life is more a conned fantasy than reality.

Don’t Put Your Happiness on Hold -You May Miss Out on Many Clever Things to Do Later.

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Retirement isn’t something we talk about often. Those nearing it speak of it with apprehension; those already in it think they finally are free to live their dreams. Whatever…everyone has a soft spot for an enriched ‘pullback’ life. But dwelling over it or over thinking only makes you miss take notice of the potential for joy and fulfillment that exists in the present. Contrarily, disregard it completely and someday you’ll land yourself in a pit full of regrets and missed chances to happiness.

Image source: ‘Don’t Hang Your Happiness On Others’ by Alex Fayle in possibilitychange.com

This might make you wonder. Is ‘Alone time’ really heavenly? Should you be so eagerly looking forward to that “solo downtime”; to have enough of free space and do just what makes you happy? Or would you rather be somewhere more quaint and peaceful to be able to do what you usually don’t do?

There are hundreds of memes doing the rounds on social media with people joking about how they’re coping with their changed lifestyle in a quiet and cloistered surrounding. This I think is an easily forsaken effort more to fill in time, relieve boredom, improve creativity, or sometimes have fun playing around with words and living through the day without being truly happy and contended.

What’s there To Make Your Day?

Have you figured out the things in life that truly make you happy? Have those things changed as you’ve gotten older?

I have not been lucky enough to have a regular remissions to spend more time hanging around with friends and family. I missed awesome zoos, quintessential museums, short ‘buck-up’ breaks, and trips on holidays or even something as simple as a quad pleasure ride. Baring a brisk wave to others, walking the dog or soaking up the beauty in gardens, life boringly oscillated between being work-bound and housebound.  

I think perhaps a character in my story never could turn into the kind of maverick who knows how to reconnect to elements or even learn the skill to ‘be-happy make-happy’. I was in some way one of those few where being restricted is the norm!

Still…

The point was not lost on me. Prioritizing meaningful life over material wealth somehow changes the way you live out your life. Instead of judging things by what I expend on the basis of what I gain, I saw my endeavors as an investment in memories, relationships and personal fulfillment. I was beginning to realize that what I experience is far beyond the moment in value.

Let me put it this way.

If you love dining out, eating out at an upscale restaurant is not merely an expensive deal only. Neither it is an opportunity to explore the uncommon exotic food which it’s possible otherwise wouldn’t have happened to you. It’s incalculable worth gets caught in time. The priceless time spent together with loved ones creates unforgettable moments and wonderful memories to last you a lifetime.

I consider riches as means to enhance the quality of life rather than a treasure to be saved only to be passed down as an inheritance. Think about it; like your ‘Now‘ unused and leftover it adds little or no value to your happiness.

Image source: ‘100 Happiness Quotes To Lift Your Mood’ by Lindsay Lowe in parade.com

Why You Shouldn’t Postpone Your Happiness

I go for my daily walk every day. A short while ago, while ambling along I met several older people out either walking their dogs or sashaying around to stay energetic. They seemed all retired enjoying life indulging in simple things they fancied. In a rare moment of levity it made me think of all the meaningless inanity I had to endure at my work place. Was any of it worth anything? Did it hold any weight? Was it of consequence? Even when I didn’t know why, I could sense a kind of conventional wisdom whispering to me –“Sacrifice a bit of your present today for a little of better future tomorrow”. Was everything convincing enough to keep postponing my happiness and enjoyment indefinitely?

Nothing would make sense then and it all felt like madness. 

I was being reminded of the old ‘I will be happy when…’ approach.

Or was I comforting myself using that phrase too often?

I looked closely. I had an elephant in my life that was not moving in either direction. I was all for the idea of setting a little of me aside for the future but probably had dithered to catch the wave.

“What lights me up. What I ought to do now to live a fulfilling life without waiting to be free. What is it that has played over and over in my life and seems to matter most?” For once I couldn’t forgive myself for being morbid for I had clearly let two seriously badass issues hold out on my happiness.

Will I make it to retirement?

I know it is not a nice thing to think of the inevitable but it is an unmistakable fact. For many making it to a much-promised paradise will end in dreams. See…we are tutored to avoid thinking about it but when I accepted the uncertainty, I quickly began to see the foolishness of putting off my mirth and happiness.

What if health fails me?

Imagine somebody who admires you walks into your home and hands you over a cheque worth all the money you would ever need. How’d you react? Would it be; “It’s Ok but I’d rather work hard to earn that kind of money”. Aren’t you postponing your happiness even when you’ve the chance only because you believe that you have to earn the right to be happy?

For many it’s difficult to choose to be happy this way. Downside? Your decision to wait until retirement when you’d have saved enough of ‘your own’ might end on delayed gratification where happiness keeps postponing to “someday”.

Checkmate your hesitation and make time for things that make you happy, because “Now” is the only time you have and none other is there for sure.

‘War’ is over if you want it

How many things you think you have put off for retirement?

Sure, life is busy and there’s never enough time of it for everything. But it’s seriously lame to think, “When I’m retired, I’ll have all the time in the World for myself. I will be free to get more out of life and plenty of time to do whatever pleases me”.

To an extent, you’re right. You will have a lot more time for yourself after you retire. And it’s good if that makes you look forward to a better life. But has it ever occurred to you why it could be in your best interests to make a start right now rather than wait?

Image source: ‘Why You Shouldn’t Delay Your Happiness’ by Diana in thewellnessexplorer.com

Reimagine retirement. Over the years you are in the habit of thinking about life the way you do and it’s unlikely to let go in a flash till you retire. The way to get over this tight spot is to stop being inert now in the belief that life isn’t great for now but will get better once you retire. This sadly is not going to happen. Start living your best right away and not wait for an unseen uncertain future.

Be it a fine dines experience, a spontaneous weekend getaway or a special event; make sure to be alive to the moments that offer emotional rewards. Sometimes you will have to push yourself when nothing else will fall your way. Still there’s nothing tricky or conflicting in trying. Life’s too short to miss out living even a second. The same stuff that makes for a great retirement you can use now to  create a positive and fulfilling life that leads up to it.

It has worked as a wakeup call for me. I’ve learned to seize every opportunity I could to make the best out of my Present into a fulfilling tomorrow.

My take on this!

Someday when I look back I’ll be happy not questioning myself “What did I miss?  Was it Ok to not wait until retirement to live a meaningful, purposeful and rewarding life? Haven’t I succeeded in finding a middle ground living for now versus later and met happiness half way?”

Ever wondered if you have done enough to make yourself and those around you happy! Most of us would score miserly. A tribute to every diehard soul, this story will inspire you to be good and do well.

Five wonderful ways to make your life 10X happier and fulfilling!!

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Image source: ‘5 Reasons Why Feeling Happy Depends on Your Viewpoint’ by Sally Stanleigh in bia.ca on Dec. 10, 2020.

That morning I woke up early. It was dark outside. The morning silence lay heavy. Crickets had stopped chirping and it was too early for the cock’s to cry out. Bleary eyed I peered closely at the bedside clock. It was 4.30 am. The weather already smelled of yet another hot summer day of May.

And then a fluttering noise startled me out of slumber! I propped up on the bed and strained to look for the source. There perching on the window sill and prancing around was my sweet little ‘angel’-cuckoo.

For a moment, I sat spellbound. It’s been almost a year since I last saw her in my courtyard frantically trying to troop in her two chicks, barely a month old; too agile to sit around, but too fragile to take care of themselves of their own. A flurry of thoughts woke me up nice and good. Outside the sky was beginning to pale as darkness slowly melted away.

Chores over, I sat in the veranda with a cup of tea in hand and wistfully gazed at the bird still perched atop the tree in the courtyard.

This time she was all alone!

Feature credits: Taryn Elliot in Pexels.com

Somehow she reminded me of my mom, hard gritty and courageous, always ready to face the world squarely. Vivid memories of life with her are as fresh as morning dew even today . She would often tell us that every man is a jack around you and won’t be in two minds to deluge you with advices on how to get the most of this world. But all this will be worthless if you do not respect your curiosity and give a patient listening to your gut instinct. Nine out of ten times people will laugh at you more to make you cringe with helplessness and feel small for it helps them to assume privileged and great. Simply put, these people cannot muster enough courage to get what they want out of life.

It’s only years later after she is gone that I realize what she had meant then . The moment you let others stop you from pursuing your dreams, is the moment to say goodbye to them. Wish I had given an earful to what else she had to say at that time.

Much like the bird on the tree , she raised her siblings and bid everybody farewell when the time came. Its only after so many years that I could share a few more facts of life with you I wish I had accepted sooner. Everything would have been so easy!!

I agreed to approve of myself the way I was!

Image source: ‘Want to Enjoy Life? Don’t ‘Do What Makes You Happy” by Wanda Thibodeaux in inc.com

Whenever we are in a dark space emotionally, we naturally pick up a fight with ourselves and damn us for not being in control of things. Everything seems to spiral out of control and the more we push ourselves to straighten things up, the worse they become. On the contrary, when we feel okay and alive and kicking, we are more inclined to accept ourselves and appreciate the wonderful little things that life has given us and how terrific our body rewards us.

This made me realize that being successful is not about getting it done all the time. Its about getting right things done. Its about doing less but better. For once, I decided to befriend myself and felt proud of my achievements, no matter how tiny they were .

Essentially my perception of doing right things the right way changed all by itself. I just worked hard on bettering myself.

From moron to self indulgent: I found the impunity comforting!

Whether it is taking a long bath, scheduling morning leisure walks, following a regular sleep pattern or something as trivial as putting on a face mask, shaving or trimming the beard, or even watching our favorite movie, anything that we do to look good and feel good puts us on the right path; so’s how she would counsel me often in quieter moments, though she was always quick to add that self care meant differently to different people. 

Feature credits: ; ‘ iStock’ by Getty images

The point that I gathered, is that once we take some active time out for ourselves, our journey to a meaningful day begins right then and there from that very moment.

I figured out my boundaries!

When we draw our boundaries, we actually define our needs and what others around us expect from us. I took time off to do a bit of soul searching. I found my circle , enlivened it and realized that pouring too much energy into other’s affairs was not fixing things for me. It’s only then I figured out that I actually needed to love myself a bit more than the others.

Left with enough time and energy, I felt less resentful and angry with myself for situations gone awry and happier with what was left with me.

Thought sharing never felt so bewitching!

For me the folly of one track idea of thought sharing slowly changed hands from a deceitful obsession to a vent to pour out my disquiet. I realized that once I dropped my guards and stop bothering myself with revved up emotions, things began to smoothen out and happen the way I wanted them to happen in the first place.

Feature credits: ; ‘ iStock’ by Getty images

Contemplating and doing nothing always weigh heavily on us. I raked up courage for once, voiced my thoughts strongly, stopped weathering and revealed myself. Amazingly life thereafter took a turn from inept to pleasant and fulfilling. Talking about what is bothering or upsetting you always vents your repressed emotions, soothes your stretched nerves and leaves more space to do better things.

I learned to talk turkey and bump heads

When replying to text messages, attending calls, meeting friends and family and buzzing through social media does not feel like a huge task, its time to ring the bells. This is one tell tale sign that your mental space has convalesced for good. So, if you do not cancel plans last minute and actually enjoy being in touch with friends, you are definitely over the fence and no longer a fly in the ointment! Stay connected and feel that dismay no longer rattling you. Awesome miracles will begin to change your day.

“Remember it is you who alone can decide who you are not once but every time with every action that you take, every principle you value and every rule you follow.” 

Feature credits: ‘iStock’ by Getty images.

I must have dozed off for sure for I woke up with a start! Somebody had rung the doorbell. The empty cup lay beside the chair. The sun had climbed over the horizon and the day was warming up. Instinctively, I looked out for the little bird. She was gone like a summer breeze; may be never to be seen again.

Days later as I pen these lines, I envy that little songbird. Her resolute flight from nowhere to my courtyard had unnerved me for a while. and reminded me of purposefulness and determination that I had vowed to myself but over the time had pushed into a corner. It reminisced me of all that I learned from Maa while trudging along the way holding her hands swaying from side to side as I grew up.

It gave me a cue to do a bit of soul searching and brawn to rewrite what had begun to fade out. I am also now wary of the pride that comes before the fall.

Thank you from my soul maa #The Mothers Day, for bearing me, rearing me and helping me to grow up to be the one I am now!!

He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark.  –J.K. Rowling