Tag Archives: #Forgive

Are You Working to Live Or Living To Work?

Why making a Life is more important than making a living!

Are you someone who absolutely loves heading to the Office every day? Or even if you don’t maybe you’re connected enough that you simply cannot resist showing up. You keep giving your all unceasingly; sometimes murdering yourself, all the time hoping that this turns out to be your best bet at acing everybody’s attention and getting taller professionally.

I guess, people who fit in this category are unwittingly married to their jobs and often are set out as living to work’.

If you’re a Zoomer, you know what it’s like; the excitement of being resourceful, independent and liberal is overwhelming, way better than the dudes from Gen-X might have experienced. You’re the perfect portrayal of a deep seated personal connection to the work that you do for a fat pay-check. Perhaps you believe that success happens only to those who have an all–round desire and true commitment to work.  You’re not unaware as well that this runs the risk of compromising health and quality of life outside work place.

Yet on the flip side, many choose to separate the idea of ‘doing what I love from “I’ll do what I must to make a living”. For them it like ‘discovering a long lost passion’; so foreign and yet entirely removed from reality where work is what you do and not who you are!

Speaking of which, do you take on more work than you must? Are you putting in more hours than you ought to? When is the time to quietly start doing less to the extent that it appears not quitting after all?

How bad is too much of a good thing?

Living to work for most of us is like crossing the fine line between being occupied and being eaten-up by work. Your work life balance is at risk when you let disproportionate amount of your time and energy spent on your career.

People, who live to work count heavily on work for thrills and kicks and shut out other sources of joy and happiness. What’s worse, addicted to the adrenaline that comes from solving a crisis or tying self-worth to work, these people would often find themselves on the fast track to burnout.

See…over engagement is never free of its perils. With time, distraught work-life balance takes its toll. Your ability to handle stress is impaired and your overall well being gets affected. And more often than not, you won’t be to see it because you’re moving so fast, completely absorbed in the reality that you’ve created — knowingly or not.

So what’s the point?

Image source: ‘7 ways to reduce work-related stress’ by Neil Spooner in resetmindbodysoul.co.uk on Oct. 08, 2020.

When you fail to find the ‘just right’ level of engagement, you live your life on one extreme or the other always struggling to find the right kind of work-life balance.

But the grass is not greener for those either who consider doing little less at work, re prioritize work versus life or refuse to take a bigger chew than the one’s mandated or must.

Hell yes of course!…When you work to live, you miss out on that rich sense of fulfillment that only a meaningful pursuit brings forth.

Did I miss something?

The 10 hour work day -like so many people I braced for 30 long years, -never ever for once went out of fashion. It stood firm then and it’s as stoic today except that nowadays it’s your call how to balance everything in the new age. The strings were as tight then as they are now.

Jinxed and marred with bad breaks, I spent an entire lifetime slogging to build a career and in the process woefully destroyed part of me.  I kept judging whether it was of any worth at all, despite knowing all the while that in reality I couldn’t undoor reboot’ anything. I had no widget, no push button…none other than a blue sky above and some wishful thinking. I yearned for one. So many things I would’ve loved to rescript for a better tomorrow! Of course, there was always another tactical choice at hand; Do it the new way. This certainly was a flattering option and like everybody else my age, I was gullible. I fell for it and chose to use it.

The thought of shaping a better life and a taller me never felt fictional then.

Image source: ‘New Signs You’re Stressed at Work’ by Christine Bernier Lienke in flexjobs.com

I know I’ve never been great at work and I have struggled long enough trying to figure out why I wasn’t fine and famous at it. I would usually end up comparing myself to friends and rivals who have been fervently neck deep in work and have made some great careers and good living out of it.

It’s only after so many years of imperfections and wanting, I could discover that I was  in fact truly happy, living my life doing what I wanted to do- endeavoring, indulging and battling! Sometimes winning at others loosing, yet never letting myself forget the battles that I survived.

 I had chosen to work what I “could do” and not what I “wanted to do”.

If only I had known then what I know now, maybe I could have had both of them a lot sooner- living a great life and making a living the way I love most’.

I would let the life happen!

Life is short and full of shifts and ebbs and flows. You just can’t exist to make a living. It’s more than about living decently… ordinarily! We all deserve more and entitled to a life full of joy and happiness.

And who said it’s too late to flatter yourself?

I know how important is to earn for a good living. But you can make a living and still make a life! It’s all about perspective; about whom you love most; you as a person or as a pen pusher. With pliable mindset and a bit of allowance for wise adjustments you could let the real troubleshooter in you make life deep and smiling.

Image source: ‘Live to work or work to live? 72 per cent of Brits go to work just to get by’ by Owen Gough in smallbusiness.co.uk on Dec.08, 2017.

Of course, ‘working to liveor ‘living to work’ aren’t the only choices available. It’s absolutely possible to put the two shoes together and yet walk on sunshine. Breaking away from either of the two could though actually help you find a breezy life-work balance in a hurry.

Seriously, sometimes taking a few steps back — or a few steps forward — breaks the barrier standing between you and the life you have painted for yourself!

Looking for second chance at happiness? Living a better tomorrow is only a step away!

Pursuing an old dream or chasing a new passion and yet disappointed in you for feeling left out? If you believe in tweaks that could change your life, go after every second chance that comes your way. Someday it will reward you with a pearl beyond price !!

And a reason to smile!

Image source: pexels.com.

Life yields a second chance to every one of us. It’s called tomorrow. And it doesn’t happen by chance. We begin to live our second life the moment we realize that we’ve got only one and fancy a new morning with a fresh chance to make of it whatever we want!

I think that’s great!! Life is just too short to leave things at odds.

The only creepy thing about it though is that these breaks rarely happen by chance and for the most part are scary. What if everything ends with the same outcome? How’d I know that I ain’t cloning the same mistakes and nothing is actually going to change?

That’s funny! While we anxiously hope and look forward for some kind of rescue, fear of unlikely payoffs is hurting!

Angst aside, I believe everyone deserves a new start even when we cannot control how it is going to end. Making bad choices is normal but regretting them is what makes us free to choose again.

Like Qusay Hussein, a wounded Iraqi teen who met a new life in the US, when I think of my childhood, I think of colors; the dull brick red walls and the deep rich greens of the lush front gardens on either side of our beautiful home. More like him, I gave myself a second chance to learn and grow along others after an early exit of my dad left behind shattered dreams and hard times. I didn’t do anything real until I was 25. Not only after a few impromptu accomplishments in post grad and doctor’s, that I could gather enough courage to test the unknown! And all the time I was sharply aware that it was really a shot at becoming who I wanted. It all had stretched out like one long dazzling promise to break out and shine! Sure I wasn’t hungry for a huge career but something that I’d enjoy.

I held on to all the chances that came my way…

I’m not sure when the wakeup call tipped off but it did saw me a lot wiser … I’d come to realize that it’s never too late to do what you love most!

Just a few years ago, I thought everything was over, and now …I’ve discovered my happy self!

Image source: pexels.com.

Everybody has a story to tell

I don’t think that happiness is big or infinite or that you’d meet it only when you get your second break. People make mistakes all the time. No one’s perfect but you cannot rewind the movie of your life to the point you thought was Ok and play it again. I gave myself chances upon chances until I realized that I can only change the movie from this point forward.

Giving yourself a second chance doesn’t make you stupid; it means that you believe that you can change for the better. It’s an opportunity for you to learn and grow and be a finer person.

Look… I’m not the first or the only person who’s made bad choices in life. And neither are you. So why stay pissed off over something that can be won back!

People often make bad ones only to regret later. Everybody does, but that doesn’t mean that they have to pay for them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes even good people make bad choices; it doesn’t make them any more severe! Like everybody else they too get hurt but they learn and they move on.

Life is short lived to hold on to the past. Can you imagine yourself not giving someone a second chance? I can’t. Things never go the way we all want most of the time, but that doesn’t mean you’d  hang on to hard feelings  and not allow yourself a free happy life! If you don’t forgive someone and give him or her another shot, you too will be drawn into a dirty ‘negative edge pool’. Worse, you’ll drain yourself emotionally completely.

Not only that if it weren’t for the second chances, we all would have lost good friends, warm relations and perhaps missed a snug hug back home. Trust me, it’s human to make choices we think were right but so often turn up wrong and end hurting others.

We’re not perfect and we would never be. So forgive, forget and buzz off.

Giving somebody another try is your one more chance to thrive and be happy.

May be on that day, you could finally let go and move on.

Feature credits: ‘Piper- A story of true happiness.’ by Movie Mania 3000 on Mar.15, 2019.

For Colin Thackery, the Chelsea pensioner who won BGT at the age of 89 or for Jan Jacob, who at the age 50 realized she was a gay- it wasn’t the first time that future had looked uncertain or the life felt painfully strung to a distant North Pole. But both were certain about one thing, giving themselves as many chances as came their way; second, third, fourth; they seized each one never knowing when they’ll get one again. They knew that someday they would find a way through to smile again.

Today their phones are all filled up with texts and calls and I’m sure they have umpteen exciting stories to tell.

Whatever…I’m glad their lives could help show others how to live their best lives too.

Curiously, their tales remind me of a somewhat sweet and noble virtue…

“It’s never too late to become everything you want to become. It’s never too late to try again”.

That’s how life is!