“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” – Oscar Wilde
You could be a good looking person with a fair iota of intellect yet you secretly marvel at the ease with which your BFF earns attention than chasing it.
Or you could be in the midst of your admirers and still reel in awe over his or her ability to get the heads turning.
But when have you ever been yourself …just what you loved in the first place?
There is nothing more unappetizing than that desperate urge that comes with needing the approval of others. We all have felt it at one time or the other. If you constantly try to assure yourself and barge into other’s lives for the sake of being noticed then you are not the standout choice to be reckoned seriously. Attention earned without begging for it is what I call admiration and the one that you get by throwing yourself at others face is no better than a sign of pity.
Is it difficult to be compelling?
The good news is that being desirable, stealing someone’s heart or even storming into it isn’t as complicated as you would think!! So long as you are honest to yourself and treat the people around you well…. heads will turn. Of course, not everyone around you will look your way but you will draw attention of the type of people that are there for the right reason… to enhance your life.
Some of the biggest decisions we make in our lives are driven by desire to draw attention. We look for things that appeal us most even if we can’t explain why a particular person seems more attractive than others.
So if you are looking for ways to make yourself a standout choice for a warm heart- so discreetly drawn to you and un-apologetically storm into it, consider following these powerful yet easy to follow choices that go beyond the physical;
Closet your sorrows and look happy
Too often we fall shy of our passions and hobbies… ashamed how others may judge us for them. What we don’t realize that by doing this we make ourselves more boring and unappealing. We believe that hiding ourselves like this is one way to impress others around us. But bruised conscience is what makes people see through that false perfection. It isn’t about being perfect, it’s about impressing people with what you truly are. So drop that scowl and smile… .Your genuine self is more endearing and attractive than you would have thought. It’s generally regarded as sexist and patronizing when we are told how we should look in our faces. Obviously this hurts .One should never be told how one’s face should look but it does give an insight to what is meant when we say ‘I would find you more attractive if you smiled’.
Happiness is actually is one most attractive emotion expression and a smiling face mirrors your state of your mind. A scowling one definitely isn’t the right choice for you to draw any attention let alone win over somebody’s heart.
So when you smile and generally look happy, you seem more open and less intimidating. It certainly helps if you look like you are not going to reject immediately. If you want to be approached then you should look approachable. For once just flash a warm smile and you will find a compassionate heart right under your nose in no time. All it needs is to open your heart for others.
And remember…a smile could move mountains!!
Help yourself with a great sense of humor
There is no denying that humor is important for both sexes but in different ways. Even by modest standards, gals are drawn easily to a man who is funny, makes them laugh or at least listen to lighten the mood. Guys’ choices on the other hand find favor with a gal who thinks he is funny and will laugh at his jokes. Whatever… it works great if you give the other a break, laugh politely howsoever terrible and unfunny the joke might be. Just laughing a bit helps both feel good.
Your excitement could ruin the vibe
It’s normal to get excited with the hope of a massive emotional reward . You consider this ‘important’ as the idea of getting ‘connected’ to somebody makes you feel special… the mere act of bringing it to life couldn’t be more thrilling.
However, the excitement and idea of ‘falling in love’ is usually short-lived. What allows you to really dig into it, get good at it and reach some level of success, rests on one basic attribute- modesty. Be generous with it – though some of us find it an ugly trait for those who wish to shine. And restrain your ‘excitement’ even if it means being uncomfortable and smily ..all at the same time. How often would you find a person who would admire your little weird habits, pick up your dirty pieces and still say they like you at the end of the day?
So… go gentle with your thrill experience .Your quest to find somebody who can make you laugh, smile , grow, want, crave, feel, make you mad but happy will have a perfect end.
Be ‘nice’ and ‘natural’
One predictable behavior that makes people find you attractive is .. ‘you are nice’. You wouldn’t have found a guy who would confide; “I’m so into her because she’s a shrew!”? or a gal who would jump around gossiping; “hey! I fell for him because he is a jackass!”? Just as much gals won’t consider dating a jerk, guys probably won’t prefer a sulking grouch either. Being genuinely nice to people around you is what makes you more attractive than those who either don’t care or just don’t find it worthwhile to dig any further.
So, if you want ‘somebody’ nice to enter your life, be who you want to attract. People who are kind are attracted to like-minded and are turned off by morons. Be polite, say ‘thank you’, listen attentively, don’t take anything for granted ,be your natural self… and eyes around you will start rolling admiringly.
Another interesting fallacy that makes us so desirable, is equally perplexing. Gals tend to wear far more makeup thinking that guys like and would find them attractive and end up with way more of it than guys think they should. For guys less is always more, wear too much of it and you have jinxed it even before it all began. Nothing is anymore different for guys either. Rage of stylized haircuts, reeking deos , high-fashion clothing and accessories, offensive breath and you have begun on the wrong note.
It helps to have a great Life plan
Ambition and goal are the two most desirable attributes that make people follow people. These make you think about what you want to achieve and how you will get there. That you are capable of making informed decisions and a have sense of control over life, makes you the right choice to be desirable and attractive. Your willingness to consider other choices shows that you are capable of compromise and make other people want to go on the journey with you.
Most of us spend our adolescence and early 20’s for some kind of a ‘forever’ love, one that is enchanting and mesmerizing.. one that we could melt ourselves into to be happy and ..loved. That’s so insane!!
We all are blessed with an uncanny sense to spot those who fail to take care of themselves and always lean on someone to ‘complete’ them without lifting a finger to be ‘complete’ on their own.
Don’t let yourself be dragged into this. It’s miserly and lonely. Learn to be okay all by yourself. Eat healthy and to your fill, Exercise if you may and find things that makes you happy and joyous. Listen to those nice things that you have always wanted others to tell you. Be kind to yourself for who else is more worthy of it than you? And remember… self care doesn’t stop even when you are single. Push hard and make it your daily practice.. for you do not want a relationship you want one to last you a lifetime.
No need to worry if you keep striking and miss out miserably. It could be just because you’re choosing the wrong ones at the wrong times. More likely it could be something to do with you.
Now is the time to make a new beginning. Mend your ways and find peace with yourself. With some little reminders you can start doing things differently and see where that takes you. It’s always so easy to fall in love but so hard to find someone who could catch you.
Whatever… there’s always that one. And when you find them, you will get to know.