Ok, so I don’t know anything about you; who you are, where you live, what you do. And I also do not know if somehow you’re really having a troubled life. But I do know one thing for certain- “Your world sucks no less than mine.”

Lots of terrible things are tearing apart the world we know as ‘home’. Pity…there’s hardly anything we can do about it. Not if you have been complicit in its downfall and consequential emotional ruin somehow. Are you? If you aren’t then you can rally behind the efforts to better the world. If you feel that you’ve somehow ‘played a role in the wreckage’ then it’s best that you try to reinvent yourself. You might do some good to help make the difference.  

One of the most confusing emotional experiences that hurt terribly is the profound sorrow and a sense of deep anguish when you’re alone, unshared and completely burnt out. No crisis. No obvious loss. No major disaster. Your relationships are fine. Work is fine. Nothing is really falling apart. Yet something’s off. Life feels like going sideways. It weighs heavy, overwhelming and most certainly wrong. Your brain is fried hard and warns you of a threat you can’t put your finger on.

This feeling often overwhelms as sadness. It’s dreadful and frustrating since there is no clear reason behind it. It gets worse when you’re quick to assume that you’re broken, ungrateful or secretly depressed.

Beats me, but all assumptions to argue the rationale I make, fall flat and ‘skate over’ any presumption that I attempt. Are we so hardwired to get real strung when unconnected and stoked in a bad way?

For years, I think I lived distantly–flawed and incomplete because I couldn’t be happy. It failed me why it simply needed to be different. With intention and aplomb I could keep my emotional battery charged. Is it the sense of gnawing uncertainty that had touched off a strange revelation; a flawed premise that meant my false beliefs were only an errant underlying thought that had been wrongly invented by me and not true?

I needed to listen to the heart…

An imperceptible shift allowed reorientation of my mindset. What followed next changed everything for me. Honestly, it didn’t feel Ok at first. But it did sink in gradually; “Sometimes changing the way you live can make things feel more uncomfortable before they begin to feel better”.

I’m easy at heart now except that a feeling of dread still lurks in my everyday life. Wars, famine, the price of living decently, most vulnerable being ignored, governments turning their backs on fugitives, the clamoring ultranationalists; it’s infinite. I’m aware that I’m not alone in worrying over these upsetting problems but stoicism alone does not bring peace.

So do I accept a besieged situation without the urge to change or fight it?

It’s hard to censor yourself as I find it hard to disown responsibility to be helpful and obliging when I’m trying to be morally virtuous. I sense its futility as well when I have to ‘walk uphill knee-deep in mud’. What do I do? How do I find the courage to make the change?

Melancholy hits no less when I think of the state of the world. Sometimes I despair about the way the world is bending. Sometimes, worse; I despair the eternal cynicism for one another; one that deflates expectations so much, so that predictably I’m not surprised.

What else to do ? What’s the right next step?

Small things like inclusivity, building connections, helping others are cold comfort. Besides are these enough? How do I find the reason to do anything in the first place? It’s a knotty problem truly; like you’re 99% sure a thunderstorm is on its way and yet you struggle to push yourself to plant fragile seedlings. Why would you when it’s so likely to come to nothing? Hope! It doesn’t help much; never makes a scrap of difference either?

So how do I know where to look for a beam in the darkness?

Enduring inventiveness is the only saving grace if you’re serious in your quest to be a better person. If you’re deeply in ‘reflect, roll and ruminate ‘ kind of stuff,  here’s few things –honestly less jarring and more gainful than the age-old ‘Cheer up’– that will help buck the world up for you.

Sit with your fears alone

Sadness, sorrows, unease- your apprehensions are legit and it’s ok if you’ve stepped back a little to acknowledge them. “Talk through your feelings and thoughts with a friend, or take a few minutes to write them out”. You need to push yourself to do it. Penning what’s overwhelming you into words will help you lessen the burden and release what you’re holding inside you. Trust me; it will make you feel a little better.

For my part I prefer feeling what I feel and allowing it spur me to action. I retreat when needed without a typically loud fracas or over thinking.

From the peanut-butter-and-jelly of sadness, anger and fear to the more nuanced emotions like envy, contempt, or apprehension I have learned to mine them for their own unique powers.

Today I don’t see emotions other than happiness as bad or wrong.

Take the bull by the horns

No single person can solve all the world’s problems, when they’re decades in the making. But people who care get cracking and build each other up, do leave their mark.

I have never been worried about an issue even if it were to land me in a soup. Instead I would focus more on smaller problems and ignore the bigger ones. I’d pitch in to find ways to drive progress, possibly more than yesterday. For instance instead of focusing on how many people can’t afford food right now I’d turn my attention to finding and urging activists online who can help. I’d sign up for action alerts and chip in as a contributor in a local support organization.

I think I’ve finally learned to tame the bull!

Good news is like music to ears

The fourth estate thrives in a world of its own making. Challenging, demanding, muckraking, it’s the watchdog to keep an eye for abuse of power or public hazards. The risk of course lingers. But it survives in an attention economy for it clicks more because of conflicts, divisiveness and tragedies. A good train wreck would catch more attention than a nondescript pep rally. No musings post TED talks; no news about millions of Asians breaching $ 3/day PPP benchmark to leave extreme poverty behind or news about a city where a terrorist attack was neutralized quietly.

The world today moves far better on metrics as diverse as violence, poverty, and regional conflicts. Even something as unimportant as the probability of being killed by a lightning strike is riveting!

Of course good news isn’t the same cheap thrill as bad news, but in times like these, can you think of any better way to restore your faith in humanity?

 Do You Feel Like Something Is Wrong When Nothing Is Wrong

One most confusing emotional experience is sadness and a deep hollowness when actually nothing is amiss in your life. A high-quality social connection crumbling; a careening courtship or perhaps a career derailment that has caught you off guard! Any of them spook you? Is there much to worry about? Perhaps not. There’s always this sense of subtlety to lean on to.  Hanging out with friends strongly resonates with happiness-more than the meaning itself, while spending time with family is meaningful but kind of an emotional ambush and not necessarily a happy one. After all you’re only a giver which is worthwhile, but taker is much happier which is unhelpful. You need something more useful than a phantom lesson to carry into the future you want to live in.

So to all the millions in the same boat; hang in there and stay steadfast. Feel what you feel, do what you want, look around for good news as a counterweight, take a break when you need it and most importantly, go hang out with your friends and loved ones.

When the headlines go dystopian and an anti-utopian environment hints at a lack of hope or comfort, don’t forget; “there is always the light between the leaves”.