Tag Archives: #Emotions

From Anger to laziness: This is how I put my two worst enemies to good use!!

Image source:’ Woman sitting on black chair’ by Anthony Tran in Unsplash.com.

It’s a mean old world and we all have our share of scars. Yet we all talk about how great things will happen in future. But happiness isn’t something that we wait to happen later. It is something that we strive for each moment every single day; work deadlines pushed up, coffee spilled over new shoes or failing that midterm, annoyances and hard habits pulled under the rug; everything and everybody works to be just happy.  Even the most pessimistic could do with a little bit of sweetness in life.

Unfortunately not everyone has fewer problems or lesser troubles in life. Things do sometimes turn topsy-turvy. And you could be in trouble if nagging emotions like guilt and shame  overshadow your resolve even for something as simple as losing weight or cutting back on booze. You are absolutely the kinda person who succumbs to his worst habits pretty fast.

But it doesn’t have to be this way all the time.

What if we could somehow influence our worst traits enough to serve us better? Skeptical! … It’s not my kinda stuff either but if you ask me, things don’t turn south every time you push for redemption. By being intelligently and purposely lazy, less mindful, messy, slow, cluttered and bad tempered, you could actually get rid of years of craziness and be more successful and happier on your own terms.

Building a good relationship with yourself is always a worthy investment…isn’t it? After all, we all spend quite a bit of time with ourselves; so might as well learn to enjoy it!

Here are a few life hacks that made even the lazy and wrathful person in me a little bit more happier.

Love your anger

Do you get to explode at a work meeting? Or do you think, ‘What that person says, is upsetting. I’m going to address it, but not now.

Whatever, you simply can’t wish anger to go away. It’s strong – it’s high energy, it’s not comfortable and it takes some time to ease off. There are times when you are in-the-moment but don’t know how to handle it to your advantage. But what if you could plan using that anger at some other time?

Everybody gets angry when a situation changes disruptively but very few realize that we can use that intense energy only if and when we know what we’re angry about.

Image source: ‘ Smiling Asian woman in apron’ by Amina filkins in pexels.com.

I learned to draw on that anger- not to match the intensity or reactionary blow-ups – but to harness it for good. Rather than wading in or stepping up the conflict, I found it helpful in managing overwhelming situations. All I pushed for was not to let it get out of hand.

After all anger is not rage. It’s not the hardest thing to handle; but if you could, it would sharpen your focus, ping you with lots of emotional information and get you some surprising outcomes.

It’s neither good nor bad-it’s what you do with it that matters.

Stop being ‘ busy’

I guess I love being lazy now!…. but I do not let my mind be occupied with squeaky distractions. I am talking of proper idleness- choosing to do nothing!

For most part of the day we stay focused on checking things off our to-do-list which is otherwise Ok. It helps in developing a productive mindset but en route it turns our personal lives into kinda running checklist, rather than something enjoyable.

Allowing myself to be lazy was just the perfect antidote I was looking for. For once I could stop checking G-news and Face book and WhatsApp every 10 minutes or hang on to some freaky e-mail that ought to have left me worried some three weeks ago.

Stuck with laziness! …maybe a little but for once I could waylay those scary to-do-lists at home and  embrace slower healthier activities like taking a walk or reading a good book. Wonder, why I couldn’t guess earlier; I was so close to being happier, simply by being brilliantly lazy!

Of course, the tricky part isn’t finding the way but having the reason to fulfill it.

Negative emotions sometimes do fix things

I never like the idea to settle things in part because being with difficult emotions leaves me feeling wasted. Maybe my understanding of toxic positivity’ touches the darker side of psyche each time I land in a limbo. It’s like ‘I am trying to cheer up someone who actually just wants to be heard’.

The positivity falls flat.

Haven’t we all have experienced it; when as a parent or as a partner all we wanted was our problem solved instead of simply talking about it?

But I find million good things about negative emotions. Fear, rejection, jealousy, guilt, sadness; all help me to navigate well in the social world. Like everybody else, I don’t spend much time tolerating negative emotions. I turn on Netflix or would grab a good book, sip through a cuppa good coffee or rush out to the porch to do some good to myself. I prefer to stay out of touch with intolerance.

I am no longer parenting misery or sadness!

Feature credits: ‘8 Ways to Overcome Anger’ by Mind Tools Videos in YouTube.com on Aug.06, 2018.

Try to be less mindful: It works!

Mindfulness isn’t something that creates a moment of calm if you are in the middle of a crisis. Anxiety, panic attacks or physical dissociation – these disruptive emotions with generally negative results and potential side effects leave you with nothing to fall back if things go awry. I won’t say mindfulness is bad but it doesn’t make life any better. I realized that being mindful made me feel unlovable, unworthy and if I allowed-it would consume me. I wouldn’t feel cared for and insecure with no sense of belonging.

Contrarily, I got better at recognizing that worrying less- helps, for there is no cure for it. It simply arouses feeling of fear and anxiety and gloom.

Besides who wouldn’t love to feel safe, secure and free of any fear?

Things have since gotten nicer and better as I dwell on it and gently guide myself back to everything that matters.

So, you too could make this personal for whatever your needs are and see things brighten up!

I jumped making resolutions

I despise getting bogged down by those silly New Year’s vows. I am not the kind who put his feet down firmly and stays put. I get shy fast and would quit in no time.

So, this year I decided to stay clear of resolutions. I tried approaching myself with as much kindness and love as possible. And…it felt good!

Think of it like this;

“If you hate your guts enough to lose 20 pounds, do you really think you would end up 20 pound lighter?

Hmm!… maybe, maybe not. But what you will certainly have practiced is hating your guts.

Image source: ‘Happy young woman in apron’ by Tim Douglas in pexels.com.

As far as I can see, self dislike is what drives most of us to resolutions. Dreams to dazzle push you to make epic promises that usually never get past the idea.

It would sound infamy to say this, but to be at large has been a brilliant win for me. It’s also the most loving, beautiful and exciting fun to keep all those barren promises out of my hair.

I feel free and I tell myself… life’s not so bad!

I think I now love myself deeply, no matter what!!

I took to writing to silence the lambs in my head!!

This year I forgot to make New Year resolutions in time and in turn decided to stop striving to be someone I could never be. I felt it’s time to embrace my messy, imperfect, soft bellied self and put my worst fears to good use.

This is how I made some real peace with myself and learned to love negative emotions.

Image source: ‘Hearing voices is more common than you might think‘ by John Read in theconversation.com on Oct. 21, 2016.

To me, penning thoughts and phrasing them is a messy affair. I wonder, if you are here only because you don’t know how to come up with your next story idea and have scant respect for my writing skills. Maybe you just want something apropos, some inspiring thought for your next storyline. I wouldn’t know if my choice of words convince you enough to appreciate that I too am a borne writer.

Either way, let’s get it right!

If you are reading this, I know one thing for sure;

You are a ‘curious’ person! And in that my success is certain. Oddly, curiosity makes one smart enough to want to know more and understand better. It makes you dig around for answers to “Why?” and pushes you to keep hunting until you are satisfied!

We all have our share of bad days and like everything else; I think I too have had some poor articles, or essays or blogs!! For me writing never meant to be rude or shocking or like some spilled beans on paper. I have felt and always acted on the desire- to purge myself of what’s inside me so that someone like you will understand what I feel at this moment.

Image source: ‘14 Hope Quotes Ideas’ by quote.cc in pinterest.com.

If only wishes were horses!

It’s hard to remember the last day, the last week or the last month when I laughed and found things intensely funny and rib tickling. When were those few hours that I wasn’t worried about something and enjoyed watching sunset or lying snug in warm quilt with a good book when it was raining outside on a wintry afternoon?

It’s kinda hard whenever it crossed me; Like everything else, this too will end in a while”!

Perhaps, I ought to glue something more inviting on my PC; something that would say;

I am more smart, strong and brave than I think I am. I am my hero with a golden heart”!!

See, it’s hard to learn about yourself from a distance, but maybe I have.

I wake up each morning and wonder what better could be there to write about. I read articles every day. I nose through pointless stories and try to make some sense out of them. I even look around for everything that would fit me into the bar.

Aw-shucks! Who am I kidding?

I like it when my stories are read but I absolutely love it when you subscribe! I get goose bumps each time an eye finds my page. I stand witness to your curiosity, your humor and your intellect every time I get reviewed.

Did I get it right? Maybe I am brave enough to hold on to a faltering confidence!!

My writing caper has not done anything to fill my wallet so far. Like you I too want to prance around to a success with words. I am though, yet to establish myself as someone with something up his sleeves every time he dares to shine. I know I cannot survive on catchy phrases and snappy headlines only.

But then there is this terrible voice endlessly growling inside my brain…

I must write…I must write…!

Feature credits: ‘How to be happy in 2 minutes The strongest motivation for happiness’ by My Inspiration in You Tube.com on Dec, 12, 2021

Last night I dreamed… of that nasty hand again; reaching out for me and a muffled voice breezily saying; “Never mind, you will get a new cat,”!

Wishes communicating!… Hell no! I have no pet and so couldn’t make much of it. I though remember feeling untouched and used.

Is that 1628 Scottish proverb nothing more a nursery rhyme? Wouldn’t wishing something dearly from your heart, could make it happen? Wouldn’t some falling star come to my rescue?

Yet I couldn’t resist writing and wishing …

I wish you to read what I have to say and give me the chance to shine and impress. I wish like everybody else you wouldn’t shut the window and run away. I wish to stand out with my content to an extent where people would hunt for my name and not for the headlines alone.

I wish you’d find me and read me till you drop.

For once I would feel happy and full!!