Tag Archives: #Luck

Three simple ways to be happy again when you’re heartbroken and emotionally exhausted!

In 1975 Eric Carmen had given us that beautiful immortal number, “All by myself, don’t want to be all by myself.” It sounded distant and obscure then but it cut through the isolating thoughts that had ruffled my mind for long and upset my nerves. It was perhaps much later I could realize I had found a way to stay connected to myself. Life felt faring much better when I decided to get surrounded by truly good people.

Interestingly it is only now decades later, I could fully understand that togetherness is an optimistic joyous emotion which helps us to shrug off the confining thoughts that would otherwise always keep tormenting us. It calms our nerves and gives room to see more options than we normally would. The only dew eyed part is that once connected to somebody, it’s harder to think of the times bereft of each other.

No matter how eagerly we may wish otherwise and try to avoid this, we could never escape our share of heartbreaks.I guess so long as our heart beats, it’s vulnerable to crushing teary blues invariably. It’s only a matter of time before it gets wounded.

Still the idea of being alone, broken hearted and in anguish is not always seen as a good thing. Too often when emotionally devastated, instead of confronting the shattering awkwardness of loneliness, despair would silently lead us further into the sink hole.  Does this means that none of two experiences are mutually exclusive? Should being broken hearted necessarily mean a stormy screwed up life ahead?

Getting to the point where you enjoy being alone and I dare say happy too- is one powerful choice that is very rewarding once you’re comfortable in it. A boat load of science also shows that keeping the head above water is one remarkable way to rough out the tough times. It leaves us much happier, healthier and more successful.

In that sense, growing to know yourself in grief and bitterness, is the first step to learn how to win over your misery and smile again.

Here are three simple ways to just get that!

Image source: ‘6 things you need to know to succeed with Instagram collaborations’ in blog.inzpireme.com on Ap.21, 2021.

Fix what’s failed

Many of us think we already know ourselves perhaps more than we want to, but most of what we know is probably who we really are and not who we should be or shouldn’t be. Few would argue that not every intervention could solve logjams in life each time they happen. Heartbreaks are inevitable and they’d continue to remind us of our limits.

Many a times, you’d go up to the roof top, cry and look up at the stars, argue bitterly with the silence around you about the unfairness of everything; but in time we all surrender to our grieves.

This is when you’ve given in to sadness; a faint urge to reclaim and get back to life frenetically urges you to react. This is the moment when you begin to recover and tell yourself I must move on”.  But there is no happiness if you choose to remain wrapped up in yourself. You are one among countless of those whose heart gets wounded in some way each day.

Going down into the company of genuinely fine people and indulging in the comforting warmth of a companion- who makes it easy for you to believe in yourself- is a sure sign that you’ve found a way to blow-off your steam. Finally you’re among those who’d truly stand up for you and embolden you to go on living…more enriched and warm and loving.

Have no doubts, you’ll find happiness right under your nose! 

Forget quiet quitting? You’ll draw a blank.

What Warren Buffet meant when he said that your overall happiness in life comes down to four simple words; Do what  you love ’ if you want to start it all over again; it might have sounded like a battle cry to many. But when you do what you love, an alignment occurs between your heart and head and your values and the things that bring you purpose. Just as you cannot have purpose without passion, the desire for change becomes inevitable. Withyour bad’ caving in, the wounded heart heals quickly.

Speaking of it, sometimes doing what you do, fails you. It sucks but there is not much you can do about it. Take stress to turn things your way and it would make you go limp again. This is when an escape to creative pursuits is your deliverance. Doing simple things like music, dance writing, drawing or even drama lends an emotional vent to a distraught mind. If you can’t think of anything right away, a tutorial to acquire newer skills and knowledge or an on-line course of interest will revive you within to reach better ends.

Look…when you do what you love most, there’s a high likelihood that you’ll be distracted from turmoil within and nothing would hurt the same any more. You’ll wake up each morning knowing lots of stuff is broken and more is about to break but nothing would tear through you any longer. Everything under the sun would look just fine.

So, take a step back and let the life happen!

Want to live your best? Stop being dragged down!

Relationships that do not begin or end well often make us underestimate how much life’s turns and twists could take out of our control. But the inexorable truth is that we all are blessed with an incredible ability to bounce back from even the hardest splits and each time give a wonderful flip to it.

“I wish I could go back in the past and make things turn out differently”; “I don’t know how to cope up with when everything’s falling apart”. Thoughts like these might do a million runs a day in your head with no clarity in sight and the shame of screwed-up situation would keep returning as rage.This is when collapse needs to be counteracted.

Begin the unhinging and find ways to hold the self together.

Building a relationship with yourself is a good start. It involves getting to know yourself, as much you’d want of anybody else. When we spend time focusing on ourselves, we acknowledge and could assess the loss up to this point only. So, all you’d need to do is to keep reminding yourself; putting myself first is after all a healthy move!

Small flames always burn strong and bright. Hiking or walk out in the woods or chronicling your day, is a good start of your personal journey to love yourself. The emotional release that follows will be a completely authentic moment when you can listen to your broken heart, nurse it and mend everything quickly and find a more meaningful pursuit in life.

Image source: ‘The realisation that changed my life’ by TNN/Spardha Pandey in timesofindia.indiatimes.com on Oct.26, 2018.

Next time when a sense of loneliness threatens you; your heart begins to pound with anxiety and thunders of hopelessness begin to rush through veins clouding your judgment; pause and take notice of all that that’s happening around you. Never let go of the thought that your bad too will pass. Resist the need to judge everything happening to you; instead simply being curious or compassionate would reset your course to be happy again!

Maybe it’s a while before you’d grow a real connection with your new Wheelhouse, but quite truthfully pay-offs will be huge!

And someday you’ll count yourself lucky to be whoever you are!

Don’t let yourself be robbed of happiness when you’re sad and down in the dumps!

Life is chaotic and sometimes awful things happen out of blue. And when that occurs, it feels like we’ve been thrown for a loop. Pushing to edge, it infects all our waking hours with endless worries and mellows our happiness.

Image source: ‘7 Steps to Embracing Mind-Body Wholeness in the New Year’ by Deepak Chopra in chopra.com on Dec.19,2018.

Yet, instinctively we keep driving through, often surviving on adrenaline. We over schedule ourselves; we drink umpteen cups of coffee; we respond to one more e-mail; we stay amped all day believing that we’ll eventually be able to set things straight and done. And in the way, we let ourselves burn recklessly.

It’s rude and shocking…for all that burning doesn’t do any good. Except that it overwhelms us and drowns all our happiness amidst the entire struggle. Misplaced trust, broken promises, blatant lies; just about everything stokes our sufferings.

Looking forward!

In this frantic world, happiness is like a friend you rarely have the chance to catch up with. But finding a moment of reassurance is never impossible. You may presume that you can find happiness when you’re finally completely free of troubles; but that’s not how it works.

In fact it runs the other way around and isn’t as challenging as it seems.

Terrible things do happen to each one us at some point in life. When you are caught in the thick of things-whether it’s about a snappy senior or a brassy relative who don’t believe in boundaries or yet another viral video of a violent racist incident you’re left stranded with mounting fears and have no clue how to handle it.  Worse, rather than hoping for a better end, you come up with a snappy retort and a quick fix to quell your unease.

But would an irrational assumption and aggression be of any good? Like climate change wouldn’t that mean hurtling down a worm hole of offensive ends and no-win arguments?

So, if you feel you have no space for peace left with you, are terribly hurt or perhaps angry and looking for a smarter way-a calmer way to bring to you greater attention and ingenuity without shedding one bit of happiness…these three simple ways might just let you find your Zen in a world that seems anything but peaceful.

Image source: ‘Seven ways to rest’ by Sherryl Garratt in the creativelife.net on Dec.06, 2021.

Forgiveness is good

Feeling hurt, even angry is a forgivable response when you are wronged or treated unfairly. But holding on to slights doesn’t help in reclaiming happiness. They take up so much of your emotional energy and push your emotional wellness to the wall.

Forgiveness on the other hand, isn’t something that helps the person alone you forgive. It does even more for you in the end. Of course, it’s a long demanding emotion and goes beyond a simple, “I forgive you”. Worse, sans compassion, it misses acceptance and would leave you mired in self blame and regret.

Regretting and trying to clean up the wrong on the other hand, is one good amend to begin with. Over the time, real good changes will happen to your behavior and I’m sure you won’t have to lie to your worrisome waking hours any more.

Find time for yourself

I find loneliness a mere normal state of mind that builds around relationships but desperately yens for sociability when abandoned.

While spending just the right amount of time with yourself is good for your emotional well being, excess of solitude can badly hurt your happiness over the time. Let it turn intense and it will become all consuming and wreck your everyday life. Your creative side will erode; you won’t be able to re-evaluate your boundaries and above all you wouldn’t be able to connect with your needs.

When something terrible happens and stress overwhelms, we speculate about what wrong we’ve done to cause bad luck. “I must have been wrong in standing up to myself. I created this mess for someone else and now it has double backed to me.” It’s natural for you to think and regress then.

Correct this distortion if that’s what is hurting you. Don’t wait to use your supports. They might help you see the problem differently, but deserting your nemesis and rebooting your mind to do away with ill thoughts is your personal need.

Catch them young and you could reclaim your happiness even while busy in your daily grind.

Get back to nature

Don’t we all head back to the trees (or the seas) when stress goes for a spin and begin to take its toll? Doesn’t the feel of the breeze, the smell of the grass, the sound of water running, feel at home in the outdoors?

Setting better boundaries starts here!…

Getting back to nature is one step to ease your emotional distress. It’s amazing how you could find great friends in elements around you whenever disquiet turns exhausting. As extravagant or as simple as you want it to be, there is no need for a footslog far away to some mountain top. Start with few smaller hauls and as you get closer and closer to nature, you’ll find you’re rid of your excessive worries and your innate self is back in gear. You’re no longer bedeviled! Trust me, your best bet to escape from 100 or 1000 worries lies right beyond your garden fence.

And don’t forget to leave your phone at home. A constant stream of notifications and e-mails or the urge to refresh your social media frequently can quickly chip away at your newly found zing!

Image source: pexels.com.

Most meltdowns, I think are rarely catastrophic. They are fixable and never meant to be a 24/7 experience. Yet being constantly surrounded by them feels more like being hunted in a savanna by some wild animal where your stress response is all spooked up to save your life. Your attention is mobilized and riveted, your muscles are strained for a quick sprint and your immune system is racy enough to get you quickly out of danger.

This edginess though is usually short lived. In fact you’re stressed in real sense only for five minutes….more like before you die! But even in those few anxious moments it burns into your body, slams your emotional well being and crashes your decision making. It is then that you get tightly wound up and are more likely to react harshly than to respond with reason.

No matter what you choose to purge your guilt or how you decide to go about it, repossessing happiness never happens overnight. It’s only your patience that would make all the difference between a beaten sod and a wishful Pollyanna.

Your takeaway!…

Next whenever you hit a bad trip and are clueless about how to cope with it, find a ray of hope in my playbook; without pre judging anything try your hand for once… something might just work right for you!