I am as guilty as anyone of cramming way too much into my life, always trying hard for all that seems ‘Good’. It’s not that I have a problem saying ‘No’ to anything ‘good enough‘; it’s just that I luv to live a full life.

I don’t own a business nor do I imagine myself having one. It’s been five years since I hung my boots. I try to keep the order and peace of my home because I dearly value a lifestyle that has a little bit of room for little exercise, quality sleep and freedom to fill in relationships and expand my inner circle.

I’m sure you will empathize with my ‘curl up in bed and take a nap’ attitude-it’s kinda crazy though, unless you have even more than that on your plate. But I am certain you’d agree that it’s difficult enough to find time to juggle all our different commitments and still spare some space for moments of rest! Intriguingly I’ve found out that when I have not made enough time for rest, I not only see a decline in the quality of what I do but my heart is left utterly depleted of fire to get out of my head and knock around into something ‘Good’.

This is interesting because I think we created ‘rest’ so that we can live with peace and contentment even in the midst of our full lives. Sounds good? But then aren’t we checking ourselves out of reality in the hope that someday we’ll be rid of glass-half-full mentality and can appreciate small improvements.

Of course there’s nothing like perfect patience or generosity or empathy or humility. The best that can occur is the consistency of our efforts. A grateful mindset is a great healer. But the problem turns disquieting when it shifts to complacency and the trying stops. This is when “This is good enough “becomes a problem because then we tend to forget how good life can actually be.

While this is justifiably frightening, my greatest fear has always been living a typical ordinary life where you settle for something that isn’t everything. The mere thought would abandon me with a pattern of negativity.  At one point I thought I had settled with a career that was rewarding but not too safe and a companionship that was comforting and refreshing but not bursting with excitement.

Not that I didn’t come down to moments of hard choice; to leave the cross roads or to let go and bite the bullet.

Many years later with ‘Salad Days over my resolve also changed . Now, every time I decide to give up on my endeavors, I’d look back and for a strange reason will be happy that I couldn’t. Guess, ‘Good enough’ didn’t feel that boring then.

But I wasn’t happy. Maybe I was afraid of being Too Big in the World!

What’s worse and why?

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you acted on a deep impulse to completely change your life? Have you ever really looked up at how you’d show up in the world? Do you really believe that people need your whole truth behind becoming ‘Great’?

At the outset I never wanted people to see what a hot mess I had to wade through to be a cut above the ‘average’ because I thought it wouldn’t work that way. Nobody would want to judge me on perception alone, at least at first. At times I’d even deny my right to anything that only belonged to me. I’d be straining at the very edges of my desires reminding myself the whole time that I didn’t want everything that has been given to me, sure that I wasn’t worthy of ‘good things’ in any way.

I couldn’t trust what was happening around me. Most importantly, I had asked for everything “bigger and better,” around me and declared that was what I wanted- aloud.

But was I really ready?

So I dug into all my heart, mindset, inclination and outlook, and chanced upon an amazing insight; what if I took all the explanations I had learned so far- including the biggest and the most powerful ones; piece them together and give ear to everything I was being lead to do.

It felt weird in the beginning but eventually I began to focus more on the positives and also starve the negatives. I learned to appreciate my desired outcomes and would happily let go of my fears.

It was more complicated than I’ve outlined here but gradually everything began to work for my ‘Good’. It was positively a confusing and yet incredibly empowering way ahead, all at once requiring watchful and constant attention. Once I began, I felt being more alive than I had in last forty odd years.

Today it all seems like a lifetime ago, and in a way, it is… Beneath the glass on my writing table, I’ve this penned ; ‘I Will Live My Truth Only’ . I consider this as a reminder to all the grumbles, whines, laments and grief that befell my way. It reminds me of my days in the school of hard knocks, a resolute effort to fit in and a win of inconceivable and the incredible.

Now that I’ve accepted my inner guidance to the point where I don’t make a move without it, I’ve vowed not to settle for ‘better’ anymore than look at it as a momentary rejig in life. I’m aware things will shift seismically again. And this thought makes me grateful and keeps me alive all the time lest I miss a rendezvous with all the ‘good fortune’. If that’s the only lesson I get out of it, I think that’s enough.

But if there’s more beyond the ‘very best’, I can’t wait to see what comes next.

What about you?  Are you struggling with some part of yourself that’s not Ok with ‘passable? What would you choose? Would you settle for less than the best just because it didn’t come your way or you think you don’t deserve? What are you ready to give up that is not alright with you anymore?

If you want things to be different, TRULY different, start thinking that you’re capable of ‘great exploits’; pin hope on nobody but you and keep telling yourself; ‘It’s finally here. I’m about to experience a strong rebuild of my life’! Just remember your worth. Dig deep to figure out what you really want, what makes you happy and what you want your future to look like.

My take on this !

Nothing stays on other side for long. Reclaim yourself. Once you wake up to the idea that you can stand in your own power, you wouldn’t settle for anything less than you deserve!