Tag Archives: #Change

Are you stuck in life and unable to break through? You can change absolutely anything you want to; your situation, your lifestyle and even ‘Who’ you are. You just have to want it enough!

Nothing changes unless you do: Change your ways to unlock your happiness!

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How would you describe your life? Have you achieved everything you have dreamed of? Are you OK with your feats? Do you see yourself as a success? How do you see at your future?

Image source: ‘Time for change’ by Kimberly McLemore in wsbillc.com

Baffling and tricky! Yeah…But when it comes to which direction your life is moving, it’s good to spend a day heart-searching looking for answers.

 I tried and this is how it went for me.

“If I come to your place and spend just one day with you, I’d be able to tell  whether or not you need a change in something you do daily. I’ll be up with you in the morning and walk through the day with you. I will watch you for 24 hours. And I could tell everything about how you’ve steered your life so far and which way it’s headed”;Crowing loud my close friend would often put across his point when in deep conversation about life accomplishments. He would then spend some time zealously searching my face for approval. 

Whatever… we never agreed on certain perspectives.

Those were the college days then. Today given a chance I’d readily pitch in. I have understood clearly that if I keep doing what I’ve always done, I’ll keep getting what I’ve always gotten.

Living a full life requires changing myself and that’s not going to happen until I change my ways. In effect, if I want something done, then I’d have to go after it until I make it happen.

By Changing Nothing, Nothing Changes

We all want things to change for good. To live a full life, to be successful, to not let our thoughts get in the way of the things we want for us and lastly-to just be happy.

To grow and gain is everybody’s heartfelt wish. But when you couldn’t manage to get bigger, taller and larger, you feel like you’ve been re-living the same space over and over again. Frustration swallows all sense of ease. Nothing seems to move ahead in the way it should. You earnestly hope if only you just scram out of the box and get moving.

There’s some great news in here though.

It all validates that you do have a yen for making that possible.  Right!

Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. You need to decide, you need to move.

I ruled myself to slow down to regain my lost appetite for a good life. Days were getting dreary and unexciting. All I wanted was to bring in some change in my time by what I was doing every day. From sitcoms and serials to FB to Instagram to best-sellers, I had already used all sorts of things to dismiss feeling of dismay. Still nothing would work for me. I’d start to think more about what was happening as I’d turn on the TV and my mind would turn off. I would plan to watch just one episode, but when I came to the end of it, I’d find myself unable to stop. It was as if I couldn’t take in any other choice. I was watching everything without exactly digesting them.

Was this the time for a change?

Image source: ‘Guidance to Young Adults’ Individual Journey’ in mentor4me.org

The sense of reparation and contentment would come only after I resolved to change what I was doing in my everyday life. Progress seemed impossible without that. I won’t deny I was unwilling at first to change because it hurts. It hurts to be on the cutting edge. But it also hurt to be left behind in the times. So, I decided to put things right. I thought I as well get on with the changes that need to be made. It took me some guts to leave the ruts.  In turn I was left with enough time to digest my surroundings and live the experiences.

Guess this was the best crossover ever for me. I was finally happy… as a clam!

It All Comes Down to What You do Daily

I honestly think that nothing ever changes in life until you change something you do every day. I strongly believe that every bit of success is determined by your daily plan of things to be done. Success just doesn’t suddenly happen one day in someone’s life and neither does the failure. Every day is merely the prep for the next. What you’ll be tomorrow is what you do today.

My mom would often tell me as I grew up, “You can pay now, and play later, or you can play now and pay later. But either way, you’ll pay.” Her counsel didn’t mean much then. I was too cocky to listen to her advice. It’s only after she was gone that I could make a sense of it all.  ‘You can take it easy and do what you want today, but if you do, your life will be harder later’. My bad! My sensibilities had failed me then.

Image source: ’52 Quotes that will remind you not to settle for less’ by Leigh Weingus in silkandsonder.com on Jan.11-2022.

Think about it. What means most to you; today or tomorrow? Are you in the habit of paying before playing? Find answer to these questions and you’ll know what tomorrow holds for you.

Sometimes I find it way too easy to watch too much TV but very difficult to watch the right amount. Of course, there is no fixed answer to this; “what’s the correct amount?” because it all depends on my urge to keep watching.

It nonetheless is pretty easy to know when you’ve had enough. If you are in touch with yourself, you can listen to yourself and know when your appetite is sated.

The key to building a better life is no different. All it needs is to be in an intimate contact with yourself; one that’s open to embrace change and different in every way from an unhealthy harmful addiction.

Tossing out my yesterday, I have decided to have a week-end night off from watching TV. I don’t turn it on and it amazes me how much time I am left with. I do the chores willingly and feel satisfied by the ordinary at the end of the day. Everyday experience of contributing something useful to my life rather than escaping it overwhelms me. I feel more wanted on evenings like that and not so many lost to TV.

But does it have to be all or nothing? Can you stay connected to your appetite and find your way to an amount that feels right?

Remember, nothing will change until you do. And you can change absolutely anything you want to; your situation, your lifestyle and even ‘Who’ you are.

 You just have to want it enough!

Sometimes we are so focused on our happiness that we forget that to make someone else smile is a beautiful way of empathizing and being kind. You could be the reason someone smiles today!

Be the reason someone smiles today : Your Life Will Never be The Same!

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Yeah! That’s more like me as a kid. Unfortunately, there weren’t too many photo opportunities handy way back in days of late 50’s. I couldn’t treasure my childhood days like others, much less realize the worth of it all then.

I am not that cute anymore. And whatever you think of me from that smile on the face, I wasn’t the happiest kid. Oh! Geez…I was happy in a way. Everything around me was plentiful and life was fun. But from a very young age I was always a serious and focused child. Kids around me meanwhile looked unconcerned, lighthearted and freewheeling. The air around them smelled carefree and easy going. Incurious, I still did well by remaining absorbed, watchful and all wrapped up, in my formative years.

Over the years I have focused on my life’s purpose. People would often judge me as hard headed in thinking and carefully involved in my ways. Yet as I grew up I’ve also become much happier and more positive. I owe this brighter side of me more to a benevolent attitude and a bent for doing good. I think once you embrace this shift it’s easy to find out how uncomplicated that change can be.

Image source: ‘Keeping Your Mental Health in Bloom This Summer’ by Daisy Coggin in studentnews.manchester.ac.uk on 28 May 2024.

You Can’t Change Your Life Until You Change it

Life comes in seasons that change and so does everyone. Sometimes this change comes as a big one for many. Marriage or divorce, moving to a new city, committing to a partner, buying house or even starting a family; all are significant choices. Nothing matters more. For obdurates others , change means encountering far reaching experiences. Emotional health, scuttled relationship, retiring, new career, or moving across the country are all unusual events. Even debating with whom to invest your time is just another extraordinary occurrence.

Should I just start my life over? What if I simply move to some place quieter or travel? What should I be doing with my life? Is this really what I want for myself? When you mull over or examine your priorities like this, it’s only natural to question your choices. But if you yearn hard enough, it’s quite possible to make a new start any time. Besides it’s always OK to not know where you’re going next. After all, we all get one life to live. And we are always on the run to find the best version of ourselves. 

Image source: stock.adobe.com

Sometimes it’s hard to know exactly why you want a change. It’s also difficult to find out how big a change you’re looking for. But if you intend to live a more intentional life, it’ll be awful to miss the possibility. Living the same life tomorrow repeats the life you’ve lived yesterday. This keeps you anchored to the same life you are living today. Even so if you’re looking for a transformative change, something about you need to change.

Living a truly contented life isn’t as tricky as you think. In fact it’s more of an art than some inquisitive instinct. Everybody have their own way to tap into their own happiness. For me happiness is a choice, a lifestyle that I consciously prefer to lead. It’s my way of keeping spirits high and heart content.

And trust me, it’s worth it.

Try to make someone smile and you’ll know what I mean. Once you shed your unease, your day begins to unfold a wee bit better. It gets way easier to endure. It’s winsome for you each time you get involved.

So… when was the last time you made someone smile?

Image source: stock.adobe.com

Everyone runs into bad days one time or the other. Sometimes, all that’s needed is a smile from someone else to pep up and turn your day around. Making someone happy not only makes them feel good. It also lifts you from valley lows. And you feel no less good either.

Smile is a pretty contagious attribute. When you see someone happy and wreathed in smiles, it’s hard not to smile back. It’s possible that you’ve had a difficult day. You’ve been tired, grumpy, and feeling awful. You think you’ve an unwilling world around you to fight back. But then someone smiles at you or does something really nice for you. Suddenly your day doesn’t feel so bad anymore.

Now that you’re with me so far, you must be wondering how I went about it. Here are few ideas that worked pretty well for me and I guess so will they for you.

Make someone’s Day. It Just Make Yours

Hard to say when I acquired an intuitive wish to be helpful and strive to bring few upbeat moments in someone’s life. But somehow it did happen along the way. Interestingly, the enormity of what I was trying to live by would not hit me until I read this story. It was to change my life forever.

There was this man who lived a few miles away high in the hilly terrain from the Ganges in Himalayan foothills. One day, embittered by deprivations and denial of people around him he walked those few miles to the bridge, jumped and drowned. As the police investigated the fatality in the ensuing days, they found a note that the man had left on his bed.

It read: “I’m going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump today.”

Nobody smiled. Helplessness and desolation finally pushed him past the breaking point to take his own life.

Months later, only now I fully understand the power of a smile – ‘it can truly change and even save a life’.

So smile, say ‘Hello’; it’s free and infectious. When you smile at someone most likely you’ll get a smile back. It’s one simple beginning to make someone’s day for almost no effort on your part.

Make Your Move and Start Over

This is huge. Committing to make a change is not easy. It comes with its up and downs. But starting over afresh doesn’t mean you’ve lost everything you’ve learned, gained, and experienced. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Your past has brought you to where you are today. And you’re lucky enough to be wiser than you were just a few months ago. 

On my part, I used what I knew best; ‘myself’. I walked over a few slow steps to go back to the beginning and herald a change. I’d rather bet an entire day’s slog to see a wrinkled unhappy face crack a smile in a brief moment of heartsease. I would find delight in seeing a hesitant broken smile wiping away the sullen looks on faces as long as a fiddle. It didn’t matter for how long. For me, one moment is just as good as many.

I honestly meant to start ‘living’.

“I love your shoes!” or “You have a beautiful smile.” Few simple heartfelt words to utter as I walk past someone on the street. And I would know I had stirred someone to cheer up. When in line at a store and I see the person behind me only has a few items, I’d offer to let them get ahead. I ‘d notice see a momentary glint in the eyes and a broad smile on the face. It’s always polite to say please and thank you, but it means much more coming from a stranger. So whenever somebody did something nice for me, I made sure to express my gratitude. I learned to laugh together. I would do whatever it needed to make someone’s life a bit easier. Sometimes when someone’s going through a tough time or just having a bad day, a hug was all that made all the difference. I would even try to help out anyone struggling with something.  Every diminutive effort brought a restful moment in lives around me .  

These small acts of gratitude and empathy never failed me in communicating a hint of reassurance and comfort to all.

Image source: stock.adobe.com

Over the time with a bit of thoughtfulness and effort I have managed to regain sway over values that helped in my transformation.  It’s no longer hard to promise myself another field day and make someone smile.

Give yourself a chance for now. Someday you will be grateful for having voted for a change.

The idea of ‘not caring’ may seem unreasonable at first sight but mastering it can become a powerful way to pursuing a happier, more fulfilling life!

Say g’bye to these four self defeating habits if you want to be the best version of yourself!

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Seriously! Are they bad enough to sabotage our level of awareness and destroy our happiness?   

Like everyone else I also have endured conflicts with a boundless rage that lives within us all. Most of the time it would turn the situation I’m in, awkwardly critical and would silently work to destroy my confidence. Yet unwittingly every single time I’d let myself be ravaged by this frenzy and would settle with picking poor choices. Next would follow an overwhelming surge of low self-esteem, hostile self-talk and miserable emotions only to see me going bonkers.

“I can’t do that.”

“I am not good enough to get the job.”

 “I know I should exercise more, but …”

 “It should probably get out more, but …”

Not many would agree but after every “but” sits the excuse for bringing in a bad choice. Unfortunately it sets everything off-course and leaves us looking for what we need most at places where we least ought to. Assumptions, I guess are our worst enemy. Trusting them over and over again is like grasping a straw in the wind. They’d subside only when we retreat into the comfort of disrespect and insolence.

Coping with a self defeating, ambition-killing fire in the head by not allowing it to cripple our sense of right or wrong is what makes life easy to live. Left unchecked these failings would get so ingrained in our lives that we’d start to accept them as normal.

Looking for a way to fix this?

It’s only years later I talked me over to relent and stop resisting the change. My call…it was weird but a wonderful fieriness had begun to unroll for me.

I’d still be haunted by anger but I had learned to admit that ‘I am angry’. I had realized that what I needed most when running in circles was to admit that I’ve been running in circles. It was as easy as winking but it took me a while to catch on. Surprisingly very few would’ve the courage to accept their weak spot. For most part they’d rather stay stuck so long as their ‘safe space’ is not intruded on. Funnily enough, it’s kinda painful to admit that you’re stuck!

So, how do we evade thoughts that shut us out from healthy solutions? Can we in some way tear down an attitude that typically ends with something awful we wouldn’t want to happen? What if the intended outcome does more bad than good?

Few and far in between, self cheating behavior works against its own purpose and is normally either unsuccessful or useless. It’s more like being mean to the person you want to befriend. Ordinarily it’s self harming and would hit back soon. One way or the other your actions would forestall your approach from working out. Make no mistake- your every effort would be in vain and everything that you wished for would be lost.

To break free of this self-hurting, happiness derailing attitude, put these four practices on your what-not-to-do list. Once you learn to kick your insipid boring attitude to the curb, you’ll be on fast track to being the best version of you.

Image source:’Why is changing habits so hard?’by Gill Mckay in gillmckay.com

You’re adding without subtracting

Scaling up unthinkingly without giving a second thought is natural and unwittingly happens to all of us. Sometimes I fell for it as well. Adding new stuff without doing away with the old one is how my closet would get cluttered. My workload would become unmanageable and my budget would go up in smoke. “Is any of this going to help me go fat or look better?” I’d argue with me then, knowing well that it takes discipline to cut and combine. But that part would always elude me.

I grew up without pruning and that’s bad!

Worse still, I’d always think that I’d get away with it!  Whatever “it” was—cheating, hiding, digging deep into my pocket for that extra bit of plum cake, I’d be convinced otherwise. It was quite delusional. I knew lapses do not forgive and slip ups would show up somewhere someday.

Happily, not before long I learned how to get over myself. Long-term consequences and a growing familiarity to my weaknesses showed the potholes ahead.  I had found out that humility shakes off self defeat.

Besides, a growing emphasis on purpose and a sense of responsibility pushed me to sidestep the deception. I saw Google enjoying outstanding success, but it didn’t stay stuck to its past. There were moments when it relented to popular expectations just like the antipathy of the bakery union that drove Hostess brands (of Twinkies fame), an 82 year old business into liquidation in Nov. 2012. 

Image source: ‘Good people make mistakes’ in observingleslie.com

Don’t just sit on the fence

Trying to become something you are not while there’s plenty of value in who you are, can be self-defeating. Google expanded its territory to become a comms network provider, build fiber optics, mobile network and mapped software to driverless cars when most opined that it should stay focused to Googling than opening up and as a consequence fall behind. The rag bag has ever since been a mix of tumble and fumble.

Getting caught in the middle of something while being not good enough to compete in the new terrain, is disastrous and ends in losing sight of the old area as well. Move out of your comfort zone only when you know you can challenge yourself.

I grew because I had learned to side step discomfort and with it all the uncertainty that comes with change.

Going ballistic is bad!

Anger and blame are unproductive emotions that do more harm than good. Both hurt if misplaced. Here’s how. Years after a tragic incident on the Deepwater Horizon, an oil drilling rig operated by BP in the Gulf of Mexico on 20 April 2010 in which 11 people lost their lives, BP struck the headlines facing a record fine and slew of criminal charges. The then CEO Tony Hayward damaged the company more by indignantly giving bitter statements about the unfairness of it all!

Angry words leave a long devastating trail and are capable of overwhelming your accomplishments. Learn to be mindful of your anger. Tame it before it incites bitterness and consumes everything.

Are you afraid of change?

For all that we know- our brain is wired to resist change. An inseparable natural part of our lives, it is programmed to hang on to the status quo and avoid the uncertainty that comes with a shift. It resists because it fears losing a secure space to the unknown. This hostility to change is what harms most as it keeps us stuck into the past not letting the better person in us to grow.

Here’s the thing- growth doesn’t happen in a familiar territory. If your wish is to evolve, improve and be the limit, live the change, not fear it. It scares everyone at first sight but then every sec is a chance to grow and learn. Endure going down with a tough project in Office, be ready to face the flak in a difficult conversation with kins and be a game when pushed against the wall by your wellness trainer; every extra mile is an opportunity to break free and live the better version of you. Soon your mind will learn to shift focus from problems to solutions, acknowledge your thoughts, and won’t let them control you.

Feature source:’This tiny cute bird will inspire you’ by Heart touching films in YouTube.com

So next time you find yourself slipping, step back and look at the big picture. It’s not about having all the answers but moving ahead even when things aren’t perfectly clear.

Reach out and say ‘Hello’ to a mindset of action and solution-oriented thinking if you trust your guts. Even before you’d know, your journey to be the best version of you would have begun.

Once you learn to let go of what doesn’t truly matter you can create a space for what does.

Regardless of the reason you’re unhappy, all you really want is to be cheery again, right? So, if you feel you’re heartbroken, grief stricken and sad, this is how you can turn things around!

Seven shades of joy to help you get the most out of your life!

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Reset and start again. Smile one more time!

I wish life had a rewind button. This world then would’ve been a lot happier place to live in and I could tell somebody that the best thing that has happened to me…I’m finally smiling for me again and mean it.

Sure life is difficult. It’s not easy either to make it enjoyable. Very often happiness is eyed as something curious that doesn’t always makes one happy. Pleasure, joy, contentment, satisfaction- not all of these coincide with happiness. These are merely experiences that overlap feeling of being happy and are not the kind that arises from within.

Lately I’ve been reading a lot about happiness and what people do to be “happy”. I think I’m a generally happy person but I’m also genuinely curious to know if there is some key to happiness. Honestly, not many of us even know what to do to inspire happiness from within. Many would say that people generally put in little effort into trying to be happy.  But I guess there are definitely ways that could help anyone to be a little happier. It’s already inside you and to find it would simply mean figuring a way in.  

You’ve no doubt read a lot of hype around the concept of happiness: where to find it, how to feel it, how to keep it. But if you ever feel like you need a little more of it in your life, dive in here and see if these 7 ways resonate with your quest.

Change is inevitable

One of the most notable traits to grow happier is our intrinsic ability to accept and adapt to change. Children leaving the nest, careers evolving, uncertain health, maturing relationships; every transition calls for a similar shift in our disposition. Just how much we are ready to accept decides the size of footprints of happiness for us.  

I had never wanted to be badgered by the most common regret people often rue about; “I didn’t allow myself to be happier. Maybe I could’ve done something about it. It just didn’t end up my way”.Since I chose not to be self-denying, I’ve found happiness in my control. I didn’t resist or feared change but embraced it gracefully. Guess, I needed to know when my life shifts.

Today, I find myself doing things that make me happy.

Don’t fake it.

Happiness has never been about being happy all the time. Life is full of uncertainty and faking beatitude would mean emotional upheaval at one time or another. Sure, it would buy you short term gains but at the price of long term pains. Fake it ‘til you make it is not real life.  Being alive means having the privilege to feel everything –good or bad and live through it.

When you try to block feelings that are meant to be felt as a human, you don’t get to experience life to the fullest. Happiness is after all just one piece of the puzzle. So don’t fake it. Let it happen of its own.

Before long you’ll know it’s been worth waiting for.

Image source: pexels.com

Be alive

In the busy haste of everyday life it’s not uncommon that physical activity slips out of our priorities. To be alive and active everyday practice of going for a brisk walk, yoga, gardening or even dancing around the living room would lead to the release of endorphins, the ‘feel-good’ hormones. This induces positive sensations in the body and would result in mitigation of stress besides elevating the mood.

I swore to get out of a deadpan life and stay active the moment I realized that being that peppy and sharp isn’t just about staying fit; it’s like giving your body and mind a big shot of happiness and gratification. It’s like me telling myself, “Hey, I’m taking care of you, it feels pretty darn good and you should be grateful for that!”

Gee…Thirty years down the road, I no longer feel stuck, unfulfilled or lost!

Forget the past

Life is never short of its share of regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities. Yet, it appears happy people would always found a way to stay clear of a whole lot of aches and pains. I guess they learn quickly; that forgiveness is the only way out. Holding onto past hurts and disappointment only serves to rob you of your joy.

Rather than clinging to past wrongs or dwelling on what better I could have done, I chose to forgive – not necessarily because others deserved it but because peace seemed legit to me. I wonder how better I could’ve served myself.

Once freed from the past, I imagine I have saved myself from the chains of regret and bitterness and maybe saved some room for greater happiness and peace as well.

Be kind to yourself.

It’s so easy to beat ourselves up and proclaim that nothing is good enough. But as they say “gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.” It helps good times roll again, make you feel more positive, improve and deal with adversity and build strong relationships.

Walking through it allowed me to see that there are lots many things in life that are more worthy of my attention. I needed to work to bring happiness in my life and in those around me. No bubble baths or partying around for me but I’ve been nice to myself thereafter. That stuff would have made me feel good but I suppose it’s more about giving yourself the space to figure things out without flirting with those hippy-dippy things that people do to be cool.

So, if you are working on being happier, just let go of the unpleasant in life; your gratitude will help you get there fast.

What happiness looks like to you?

Regardless of where you are on the happiness scale, each one of us has their own way of defining happiness. The hard part is that many a times we chase other people’s definition. We often succumb to popular version of happiness and end up with a great deal of unhappiness.

So, to be smiling and happy again, you need to determine what it should look like to you. Be brave enough to step into your life and figure out for yourself what makes you happy.

You need to know what you want your life to look like.

Image source: ‘July notes from Dr Klug’ in healthspankc.com

Never rush through life.

It’s a miserable choice and robs you of all chances of being happier.  Being “rushed” is quirky and would make you sad and out of sorts. True there is not much you can do about it but the balance is just right when you live out a comfortable productive life.

I think setting up goals is great but you need not be in a hurry to get things done. It leaves so much wasted time not soaking in life fully. So, ‘stop and smell the roses’ before pushing on. Let the good and the bad wriggle their way into your life. It will be a real experience and help you to understand what happiness is all about.

While everyone is different, there are definitely ways that are easy for everyone. All you need is to come forward, figure out what brings joy to you and stay focused without throwing up your hands when it comes to your well being. And if you find yourself nodding along, stay on course; don’t give up.

Image source: ’21 Hilarious Things to Do For a Phenomenal Time’ by susanwhited0 in joyamongchaos.com

You bet! You’ll live well and age happier.

Change is inevitable and happens all the time. A calm mind reclaims happiness when it’s intentional in all it does. Accept what you can’t change and be at ease within yourself. Here’s how;

Don’t let yourself be robbed of happiness when you’re sad and down in the dumps!

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Life is chaotic and sometimes awful things happen out of blue. And when that occurs, it feels like we’ve been thrown for a loop. Pushing to edge, it infects all our waking hours with endless worries and mellows our happiness.

Image source: ‘7 Steps to Embracing Mind-Body Wholeness in the New Year’ by Deepak Chopra in chopra.com on Dec.19,2018.

Yet, instinctively we keep driving through, often surviving on adrenaline. We over schedule ourselves; we drink umpteen cups of coffee; we respond to one more e-mail; we stay amped all day believing that we’ll eventually be able to set things straight and done. And in the way, we let ourselves burn recklessly.

It’s rude and shocking…for all that burning doesn’t do any good. Except that it overwhelms us and drowns all our happiness amidst the entire struggle. Misplaced trust, broken promises, blatant lies; just about everything stokes our sufferings.

Looking forward!

In this frantic world, happiness is like a friend you rarely have the chance to catch up with. But finding a moment of reassurance is never impossible. You may presume that you can find happiness when you’re finally completely free of troubles; but that’s not how it works.

In fact it runs the other way around and isn’t as challenging as it seems.

Terrible things do happen to each one us at some point in life. When you are caught in the thick of things-whether it’s about a snappy senior or a brassy relative who don’t believe in boundaries or yet another viral video of a violent racist incident– you’re left stranded with mounting fears and have no clue how to handle it.  Worse, rather than hoping for a better end, you come up with a snappy retort and a quick fix to quell your unease.

But would an irrational assumption and aggression be of any good? Like climate change wouldn’t that mean hurtling down a worm hole of offensive ends and no-win arguments?

So, if you feel you have no space for peace left with you, are terribly hurt or perhaps angry and looking for a smarter way-a calmer way to bring to you greater attention and ingenuity without shedding one bit of happiness…these three simple ways might just let you find your Zen in a world that seems anything but peaceful.

Image source: ‘Seven ways to rest’ by Sherryl Garratt in the creativelife.net on Dec.06, 2021.

Forgiveness is good

Feeling hurt, even angry is a forgivable response when you are wronged or treated unfairly. But holding on to slights doesn’t help in reclaiming happiness. They take up so much of your emotional energy and push your emotional wellness to the wall.

Forgiveness on the other hand, isn’t something that helps the person alone you forgive. It does even more for you in the end. Of course, it’s a long demanding emotion and goes beyond a simple, “I forgive you”. Worse, sans compassion, it misses acceptance and would leave you mired in self blame and regret.

Regretting and trying to clean up the wrong on the other hand, is one good amend to begin with. Over the time, real good changes will happen to your behavior and I’m sure you won’t have to lie to your worrisome waking hours any more.

Find time for yourself

I find loneliness a mere normal state of mind that builds around relationships but desperately yens for sociability when abandoned.

While spending just the right amount of time with yourself is good for your emotional well being, excess of solitude can badly hurt your happiness over the time. Let it turn intense and it will become all consuming and wreck your everyday life. Your creative side will erode; you won’t be able to re-evaluate your boundaries and above all you wouldn’t be able to connect with your needs.

When something terrible happens and stress overwhelms, we speculate about what wrong we’ve done to cause bad luck. “I must have been wrong in standing up to myself. I created this mess for someone else and now it has double backed to me.” It’s natural for you to think and regress then.

Correct this distortion if that’s what is hurting you. Don’t wait to use your supports. They might help you see the problem differently, but deserting your nemesis and rebooting your mind to do away with ill thoughts is your personal need.

Catch them young and you could reclaim your happiness even while busy in your daily grind.

Get back to nature

Don’t we all head back to the trees (or the seas) when stress goes for a spin and begin to take its toll? Doesn’t the feel of the breeze, the smell of the grass, the sound of water running, feel at home in the outdoors?

Setting better boundaries starts here!…

Getting back to nature is one step to ease your emotional distress. It’s amazing how you could find great friends in elements around you whenever disquiet turns exhausting. As extravagant or as simple as you want it to be, there is no need for a footslog far away to some mountain top. Start with few smaller hauls and as you get closer and closer to nature, you’ll find you’re rid of your excessive worries and your innate self is back in gear. You’re no longer bedeviled! Trust me, your best bet to escape from 100 or 1000 worries lies right beyond your garden fence.

And don’t forget to leave your phone at home. A constant stream of notifications and e-mails or the urge to refresh your social media frequently can quickly chip away at your newly found zing!

Image source: pexels.com.

Most meltdowns, I think are rarely catastrophic. They are fixable and never meant to be a 24/7 experience. Yet being constantly surrounded by them feels more like being hunted in a savanna by some wild animal where your stress response is all spooked up to save your life. Your attention is mobilized and riveted, your muscles are strained for a quick sprint and your immune system is racy enough to get you quickly out of danger.

This edginess though is usually short lived. In fact you’re stressed in real sense only for five minutes….more like before you die! But even in those few anxious moments it burns into your body, slams your emotional well being and crashes your decision making. It is then that you get tightly wound up and are more likely to react harshly than to respond with reason.

No matter what you choose to purge your guilt or how you decide to go about it, repossessing happiness never happens overnight. It’s only your patience that would make all the difference between a beaten sod and a wishful Pollyanna.

Your takeaway!…

Next whenever you hit a bad trip and are clueless about how to cope with it, find a ray of hope in my playbook; without pre judging anything try your hand for once… something might just work right for you!