Tag Archives: #Winsome

“Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Ain’t I the fairest of all?”- 5 ways to know your way around attractiveness!

 “I know when I compliment her, she won’t believe me / And it’s so, it’s so sad to think that she doesn’t see what I see / But every time she asks me do I look okay? I say / When I see your face there’s not a thing that I would change / ‘Cause you’re amazing just the way you are.”

Bruno Mars in Just the way you are’. Isn’t he trying hard to make someone feel better about her imperfect attraction?

When we sometimes underrate our own attractiveness even whilst people around would find us perfect and amazing, is it that somehow we have underestimated our appeal? Or do we rate ourselves more engaging only when viewed from a third-person perspective?

Surprisingly there’s no absolute and true numbers when it comes to checking out one’s desirability. There are no real threes, fives or eights. Just because there is so much confusion and inaccuracy about the magic of appeal and attraction, doesn’t mean that this embarrassment is meant to happen to everybody. Understanding what darlingness is about, calls for some explicit insight about people’s psyche. So, by some chance even if you happen to be the one who can act, sing and dance well, just so wouldn’t make you any more attractive than the person standing next to you!

Oddly, whenever you go wrong in realistically assessing your physical appearance and attraction, you underestimate your self-worth and appeal. You rate yourself dimly and so differently from those around you and keep wondering what others might think of you. This can be maddening till you figure out everything dismissive and cruel and psyche yourself out.

Here are a few signs that would let you see your true beauty and be sure that; ‘You’re not unpretty and actually are more attractive than you think!’

Image source: ‘How to know if you are attractive: 18 signs to look for’ in aconciousrethink.com

Everybody moves around you confused and awkward? – It’s a sign you’re most entrancing.

It’s a subtle sign that you are good looking, attractive and standing out from the crowd! Be it sharing a bench in the park, stranger asking directions, or a new intern looking up for tips, people feel comfortable approaching somebody who’s alluring. Strangers would find you easy on the eyes’ and would readily assume that you’d be polite and they could be themselves when around you.

When somebody reaches out to you, it usually cuts through all the unease and none of you would realize why you’ve picked each other. Could it be anything but an irresistible attraction in you that has drawn a stranger irresistibly?

Signs that you are gorgeous and charming are sometimes so faint to notice that they are usually ignored and get buried quickly. Queerly when others find you attractive, a lot many of them might become jumpy and feel anxious to be around you even when there’s little opportunity for it.  As it happens, you can expect to be stalked on social media or followed discreetly around places where you tend to hang around and all this is for a slim possibility of winning your acquaintance!

Attraction is by far very intimidating. It’s almost impossible not to get flustered when someone fancies you. So, if you notice people acting strange around you it’s very likely that they find you attractive despite not knowing how to tell you that or what to say!

Hot or cold, people feel strongly for you- It’s a sign you’re winsome and a delight to engage.

What somebody having feelings for you really means to you? Doesn’t everything sound promising in the beginning? It though is unlikely that everything would really end up the way you’d think it should? 

When you’re attractive, those around you may tend to flaunt extreme feelings towards you. Malice or warmth, it could be anything from overtly friendly to heartlessly cold and harsh. Whichever… it’s most likely that when people find you attractive they’d really want to get to know you. Some may act petty towards you as well. They feel gross and may find you intimidating or are simply jealous of your looks and appearance. Others might try to come up to you on any excuse just to have a way to talk to you and be around you.

More often than not, when someone seems drawn to you and want to say, “You’re gorgeous!” or I have feelings for you but can’t; it is only because they don’t know how to voice their feelings or the thoughts. And all the while without you knowing, for them you’re mesmerizing and irresistible!

Image source: ‘7 little signs that you’re more attractive than you believe’ in relrules.com

You don’t get complimented often- It’s a sign you’re a stunner!

Has it ever happened to you; you’re all dressed-up to kill for a party but nobody has complimented you? Ok, that’s rough. It could actually make you feel disappointed and withdrawn. You have prided yourself as hot or hypnotic yet somehow couldn’t find an admiring eye. Even that prized Charlotte Tilbury lipstick or Ralph Lauren tie, couldn’t help much to let others take notice of you on a party night!

You may not believe this but it works otherwise. It actually is a definite sign that you are extremely attractive and arresting. It’s just that you look so good all the time even when you haven’t tried at all to be that, that it really doesn’t make much of a difference to those around you.

When people don’t compliment you it’s only because you’re amazing as always and not noticing you is very normal. It sounds twisted but not getting enough cheers even when you’re looking and feeling your best is actually one of the best signs that you’re ‘darlinglyattractive.

You are annoyed by the attention that keeps coming backIt’s a sign you’re obsessively attractive!

Are you uncomfortable with people’s attention that so often seems to zero-in on you? Do people answer with a pleasant; Oh, I know who you are” whenever you decide to make yourself known? Are you thrilled to know that they remembered something about you that you had so casually talked about earlier? If your answer is ‘yes’ then …you’ve absolutely smashed it! It’s not simply a piece of luck or trick of the moment; people do take notice of you and pay attention to every little thing about you when they find you attractive and exciting.

Attraction is a catchy word that is obsessive, engrossing and always sets in motion the expected; it surefire draws attention in an infallible way!

There is yet another side to this. It’s pretty hard to believe that all this admiration about physical appearance is after all momentary. People we admire could be just as insecure as we are.  It’s only because how amazing they look, that we readily give in to thinking that they have nothing to worry about. Truth is that we all have our moments of low self-worth. Many would be surprised if you dare say; “I’m not happy with myself and wish I could change the way I look!”

By far you can safely sell this to yourself. Any flaw that you spot in yourself in the mirror is unimportant most of the time and people adore you the way you are.

Double takes are unnerving – But they are a sign that you’re ravishing!

You might be tempted to glower back but this is not about an angry staring contest. You’re not going to throttle someone! Gawking in fact is fair and agreeable if it’s only about your attractiveness? Aren’t you thrilled when people subtly try to catch your gaze? Doesn’t it excites you when they look away, embarrassed at having been caught staring at you?

On days when you feel uneasy on becoming aware that strange eyes are boring down your person, it’s natural to get intimidated. The happy part though is that it’s a sure sign that you’re a lot more attractive than you realize! Your presence has created attention and if heads turn easily with all eyes on you, it might just be that you tempting and inviting!

Whatever…don’t let all that attention and curiosity make you self-conscious. When people around you stare, it’s one of the most obvious signs in public that you are definitely a stunner even when you’ve rated yourself six out of ten in terms of attractiveness. You’re probably more alluring than you think you are!

Image source: ‘The science of confidence and attraction’ in cmp.smu.edu.sg

I guess popular emphasis on beauty is a revered obsession for most. And understandably so since being physically attractive is more pivotal and valuable to people’s perception than meets the eye. Besides there is no point in killing the joy of being appreciated!

It’s like meeting your heartthrob all pumped up, even if it’s for a little while!


I wanted to be an insanely likeable person. These four powerful ways helped me charm my way in!

If you’ve heard this; “You can’t please all of the people all of the time” then you’d know that there will always be people in life who don’t like you. This hurts, but on the flip side it feels wonderful when someone does like you. It’s exciting and perks up your confidence. Besides appreciation is one powerful way to build up strong relations and success at work.

Image source: istockphoto.com.

It’s an uncomfortable truth but don’t we all want to be likeable? Who wouldn’t want to charm his or her way into someone’s life at the blink of an eye?

Being hyper-likable is one easy way to make life significantly spicy and intoxicating but it  come easier to some than others. Fortunately this is one trait that nobody is innately born with. True, charismatic people are born charming, but likability is something that can be learned and sharpened just like the way you learn at the bourses.

I was not born lucky with natural charisma; one of the likes who’re the masters of the working room with mere handshakes and wide grins. I couldn’t manage to be one in my late teens and early twenties. Unlucky for me it didn’t happen till well into my late thirties!

I’ve always been a shy introvert but I did know what it was like to connect with others. May be because of this reason I’d always admire people who would make people like me feel at ease in their presence and would readily connect to virtually anyone like myself. These were the people whom I could hardly forget. I observed them and appreciated them for understanding my vulnerable side. It was like the more someone opened to me, the closer I felt drawn to them. It made things easier for me and I felt something good happening around me. I was finally being myself.

Like I said earlier instant likeability doesn’t come easy for everyone. For those more on the introverted side, things do get raw at times. Yet I felt drawn to the ways these people made me feel. Surprisingly it never hit me as awkward. All I wanted was to learn the secrets of likeability; behavior, traits and everything and then accept them as my own.

Image source: ‘Why being likable can be a remarkable life skill’ by LaRay Quy in theladders.com on Oct. 05,2018.

Starting in 1992, something positive began panning out for me. I was all piped up to learn to be a super likable person that everyone feels comfortable around and wants to get to know better. I was getting to understand how I could endear myself from the get-go. I was beginning to know the importance of presenting myself as a genuine person who is willing to connect.

It felt like being on cloud nine!

Here’s four most compelling ideas that then helped me make people finally see me as someone they would want to have a conversation and hang out with!

Pick up a lively, lighthearted friendly demeanor

Over the time I have seen people losing their likability because of their fake optimism and dumb likeness. May be it’s all because they don’t mean to sound negative and distant but are uncomfortable in crowd or perhaps they’re get more self contained in masses.

Intriguing as it was, all the while I kept in mind that before opening up people do try to get a read on you. Nothing turns off them more than trying to communicate with somebody closed-off and uncommunicative. Nobody gets excited about getting to know you when that happens.

So, I decided to let my guard down and asked myself not to be afraid to be me. I became aware of how I was expected to present myself to others. I did my best to stay open and send friendly vibes around. Incredibly, my personality began to shine through as I kept unplugging. I learned to smile true; no plastic ones. I also picked up how to make genuine eye contacts and nods to show that I was listening. I got the hang of what leaning when listening to someone can do to your acceptability.

For once I was beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin! My body language was finally doing works for me drawing others naturally to me.

Getting past the small talk is winsome

A boring nerd to start with, I was looking for positives in every situation. I knew that pessimist talk doesn’t win friends and neither does the small talk.  It’s Ok to talk about weather or your local sports team but these conversations don’t win long term favors. Besides it’s a sure way to alienate togetherness and bring the entire mood to dumps.

To make things brighten up and make a great impression, I moved past it. I took to discussing genuine, down to earth issues whenever I had the opportunity to chat. I asked about other person’s family, their hobbies and passions.

You’ll be surprised how much close you could get to people learning about them and they’ll like you better for having learned it.

Image source: istockphoto.com.

Assume everybody has something better for you

One great way to pitch for your likability is to assume that every single person has something of importance that you don’t. Everything that’s happening around you is born out of mind of another person and you’ve missed it.

When hanging around with friends or in some serious company, I was making sure that focus was not only on me, my problems, my life and my opinions. In fact, I approached every conversation thinking that it’s not an opportunity for me to unload myself on another person, but rather a chance for me to get to know someone better, learn something different and extra and to connect in a way I haven’t before!

I realized I didn’t need to make others envy and awe over who I am and what I’ve achieved. Instead I learned to share with them what I care about and what I hope for. This one time I was not trying to impress; I was being honest with my needs and boundaries.

Pep talk and shared interests always lit the spark

Likable people are approachable and personable because they’re good at listening and equally willing to talk; no preconceived notions or passing judgment on others. This is how I found them to be setting up a common ground of mutual interest. A little bit of homework and I was surprised to know that all the diverse interests and backgrounds usually did the rest!

At some point I was viewing each person I met as an opportunity to learn something. Of course I did meet people whom I disagreed with but kept myself in check. The idea was to allow others to have their say and make them feel heard. A bit of pep talk was meant to be a sweetener and pushed for deeper conversation.  Was I being open minded? Perhaps! … when someone smiled I felt inclined to smile back. May be social sync was doing favors at last. Unwittingly I was mimicking other person’s body postures and speech patterns to get connected easily!

Believe me it felt good to go to Old school and spend some time having small pep talk with those around me. At long last I had begun to rake up some real good relationships by sharing thoughts and having fun together.

Feature credits:’Kindness and Joy” by Inspiration Quest in Youtube.com.

Likability is something that is virtually within everybody’s reach. All you need to do is to make others feel good around you. I did just that by avoiding being judgmental, letting others open up, giving my undivided attention, enthusing others, putting my phone away and memorizing names.

Strangely, contrary to what I thought earlier most of the times it’s something that was under my control and I couldn’t see that before.

Gee!…This time I could open the door from the inside!!