Tag Archives: #Celebration

Cry, forgive and learn to let go these five things to live a happy life!!

Are you in despair and unhappy? It’s possible that your past mistakes may have caught up with your thoughts and somehow messed with your happiness. The key to understanding why you’re upset in the first place and couldn’t be happier- lies with you!

Image source: ‘Happiness’ by Justina Daugelaite in reachingout.eu.

Don’t we all spend one helluva time thinking about what we need to be happy? Do we ever think what holds us back when we believe we have done enough for some life changing tomorrow?

Honestly…changing life for some good is not that easy. We learn every day and take each day with a grain of salt to make space for a brighter tomorrow.

This isn’t about that though, is it? Clearly not…I’d wager it doesn’t end up nicely all the time.

An irrational hunt for happiness has been waging for decades in true sense and the rage is yet to die down. Even Roger Hargreaves in his 1971 rhetoric Mr Happy’ with all his hippy dippy wellbeing ideas couldn’t get any close to being relief to more modern ideas about mid-life burnout and the gut wrenching resignation syndrome!!

When young, I had learned an easy way to guard myself; I pretended –I don’t care and because I wouldn’t, nothing would hurt me. To me, it was simple game plan and it worked so well; sadly if only for a short period of time. In exchange, I gave up all hope of building some meaningful relationships, warmth and few fine moments of euphoria.

In college I wasn’t any close to camaraderie either; almost no friends. I never went to parties or would hustle to catch up for coffees with campus buddies.

Of course that hurt. Deep within I desperately longed for the college life that you’d see splashed across billboards or experience in some smug misty-eyed soap channel. But the thought of putting out and possible snub was just overwhelming.

So, I convinced myself- I have no time for friends.

I was bitter, angry and sometimes resented everyone and everything; but at least I spared myself any rebuff.

Fortunately, as I grew up I learned to open up and face myself. Yup! it did hurt sometimes. It’s never fun to judge yourself.

But you know what? Today, it feels better than the other alternative; settling for a life half lived!

If you have read me this far, it’s possible that your moonlight happiness story has got lost somehow. You’re caught in a web of your past mistakes or maybe you’ve been giving more brains than brawl to your past and have wrecked your present as a consequence.

Whatever…

Isn’t it time to stop living adrift? How else could you ever hope to be happy again, if you can’t let go of what’s already happened?

If you ask me, life is both beautiful and ugly and we all get to choose how we want to spend it. Many of us make things way more complicated and usually crash out than live it in a simple way. Yet there are those too who endure each day with a happy sunshine view on life.

And so could you; only if you know how to look forward to improve your life!

Here are a few simple-yet powerful things; not judgment, toxicity, perfection, gossip, grudges or excuses; the usual trivia-  that you need to let go right away, if  you want to  reward yourself;

Create some free space for joy and happiness

Image source: ‘Woman with open arms’ by Emma Peneder in unsplash.com.

Happiness comes from living true to yourself.  Sure, we all make mistakes and stumble and fumble, but then life is far from perfect. It’s comforting if you play it by your own rules and not the one pieced together by others.

When we spend too much time wondering and thinking about other’s lives, we lose sight of all that that matters to us. Instead of living for our hopes and dreams, we start following someone else’s play book. This slowly becomes a plucky gamble; one that you can never hope to win.

So, look around, let others inspire you but when you feel that you are beginning to lose yourself, it’s time to let go…that clammy endless collating.

Renew and get rid of the rascal in you

Image source: ‘Floating green leaf plant’ by Ravi Roshan in unsplash.com.

Not that it deliberately blocks happiness from entering our lives when you want it …but it tends to make-believe that everything in life hovers between black and white, right and wrong, good and bad.

I’ve struggled with this wretch and it has earned me only a lot of unnecessary stress and conflict in my life.

#She comes to date tonight, or she doesn’t love me.

#I either succeed today, or I’m a complete jerk.

#You will either support me totally on this, or you don’t trust me.

Do these sound any familiar? I had burrowed myself in cheat stories like these in my ‘I’m hype’ age and it’s something that I lock horns with even today.

But I have learned to respect the duality of life. I make space for it. Today, someone cancels plans and I still love that person unconditionally. I’d fail over and over again in some weird project and yet I’d know I have made progress. I believe in her though I know sometimes I’d get to face some raised eyebrows.

Of course, certain things in life are not there to question but you need to stop jumping to conclusions.

Begin by accepting that every life holds many shades of grey.

Love it or hate it but ditch perfection

Image source : ‘Girl with paint’ by Senjuti Kundu in unsplash.com.

There is hardly anything wrong with self improvement only if you could keep in mind that chase to perfection never ends. In fact, it may even keep you away from happiness and stall you from taking risks. You may miss living life to the fullest.

Perfection to me is nothing short of a huge problem. You set for yourself high banners and grails but you merely rollick between better and the best.

And it reeks of sickness and twisted psyche…. You’ll always feel as if haven’t done enough or maybe you’re not good enough to deliver. This may even stop you from trying anything at all.

We perceive this as something negative…something that destroys our flair and clouds our judgement.

However, I see it differently . I consider this to be my USP for I’ve tried hardest to reach the best. Giving your 100% is kinda celebrating your uniqueness that made you so different.

Once you accept that moving forward is more important than being flawless, you’ll never again be afraid to make mistakes.

Everybody sometimes fail and so would you. So, simply endure. It’s more important that you embrace these mistakes and learn from them than let these mistakes keep you away from trying something at all!

It’s tough to keep everybody happy

Image source: ‘Silhouette of person jumping’ by Mohamed Nohassi in unsplash.com.

It’s natural for us to want people to like us for making them happy. But sometimes it hurts. It prevents us from being happy ourselves. This has a lot to do with our insight about what makes others happy.

You’d say that if people are pleased, they’ll be happy. But it doesn’t work that way always.

Happiness finds way in our life only if and when we want it to. True…we feel it when we succeed in making others happy. But it’s unlikely that the end result is true happiness. It’s tough to keep everybody happy for people have different needs. You might end up making somebody unhappy because of what you did to make someone else happy!

See!…It’s exhausting and stressful when we neglect our own happiness and rank pleasing others above ours.

Not that you should drop caring about others and getting along with them. Making someone smile feels fantastic and could greatly affect your own joy. But incessantly trying to please others usually backfires. So stop gagman theatrics and be your friend first.

Bliss will follow…

Feature credits: ‘Live Your Own Life’ by Eddie Pinero in youtube.com on Nov. 17, 2020.

Piano man with hard habits!

It’s human to believe that one’s always right. That’s even true when it might not be the case. Different values and beliefs is what decide between right and wrong. So when you say you’re right, it might mean that opinion differs.

Of course, it’s hard not to assume that we’re right unless proven otherwise. And to believe that you’re right 100% of the time, sometimes has negative portends. Endless arguments and pointless conflicts don’t prove a thing because there are two sides to every argument. “I don’t know”, say this and you acknowledge that you don’t know everything.

Conflicts would wane when you take this simple huge step in the right direction.

And that’s something, Yup…that will make you feel happier.

It’s never been easy and I’m still learning every day; but for now I can yell a lungful; I’m happier than ever before. I have laid off things that used to make my space crappier and buried the hatchet for good. In return I have earned me a brighter tomorrow.

And I have touched the piano man with a golden heart …

My secret to a blithesome married life: Love, loss and few grains of happiness!!

Image source: ‘Couples all over Instagram are “doing life together.” Here’s where it came from.’ by Laura Turner in vox.com on Aug. 02, 2019.

Everyone has vampires in their lives and like every relationship, marriage too is a ridiculously complicated one. It’s simple and easy to believe… that if only both individuals could get to know each other, understand each other’s needs and get comfortable with their surroundings, living a life with all its dark pleasures and experiences- healthy or unhealthy; would work epic.

Like sweet lies before the bed it would get under your skin and drive you nuts like some lemon bae!…all tangy and exciting.

It’s equally simple to say that people marry for love, but I believe it’s more about the joy of sharing things and experiences that makes for the most suitable material for wedding vows. When two individuals decide to live together, life is fated to turn upside down. Sometimes it’s not an easy one. An uncomfortable, bumpy road faces you. Understanding, likes and dislikes, need to know…challenges weigh heavy!

And it’s gets stormy and uncomfortable for those who couldn’t manage to keep moods high. Loss is inevitable if you don’t know how to cross stitch the canvas of life, needles going in and out, adhering to a pattern you cannot foresee or comprehend.

If you ask me, loss works just fine for weights and investments, but when it comes to living with a companion, you wouldn’t know a thing till countless panic attacks and anguish ransack you. Worry swallows you whole!

Over the past, the soreness of losses has grown. Some of us fume against the God, others find comfort in imagining multiple lives. Very few would look for solace elsewhere…

Haven’t we heard infinite times that a successful and everlasting marriage is forged with peace, love, and trust as primary choices. But what if it starts to lose it’s sheen? What if those snaky pencil scrawls, coffee chats, salty fried crumbly banana chips and clover leaves dried between the pages, begin to lose their craziness. What if all that pep talk about love and aftermath falls flat?

With just about everything else happening under the sun, wouldn’t it be fine to ignore the trite and build an elegant restraint for a successful loving relationship?

Here’s few simple ways to help you keep your togetherness blissfully alive and stoked!!

Choose to be attractive

Attraction is a decision that you need to make through out your marriage. You get to decide if your partner is hot and sultry!..if you are saucy enough to be exciting to your mate; if you are tasteful and zesty enough to be the zippy sparkling person she always wanted you to be! Who wouldn’t want to feel the excitement of being with a flirtatious, incredibly sexy and attractive partner?

Evolution has wired us to be drawn to anything and everything that appeals to senses. ‘Attraction thoughts’ likewise push you to focus on attributes that are exciting and drawing most. Like your beau’s great legs or the way she dresses or parents your kids? If this is freaking awkward; to you , it’s good news indeed!.… none of you have to be a cover model to feel attractive!!

Your happiness is only about feeling connected to each other. After all physical attraction runs far deeper than looks!

Giggle, chuckle, cackle or guffaw together

Life at times hurts, so if you can find some mirth even when you are in the thick of it, it helps. A laugh is what decides if you are being perspective. Finding hilarity in both good and bad times make partners find ease around each other. Be it some little inside joke, a silly irrelevant text or even watching a boring comedy together, connecting with your mate strengthens your bond even better.

Celebrate every small good moment for there will be none like it

Tough is a bad word, It’s dismissive and cruel. We all get our fair share of moments when our wits get thrown to wilds. It hurts, but to have someone in the weeds together, helps you shake off the despair easily.

And it’s just as important to acknowledge good times as well…together!

Image source: ‘Elderly couple resting on a bench’ in dreamstime.com.

If you ask me, good things happen more often than the bad ones, but we miss those opportune moments to connect.

So, next time your mate shares anything positive like some admiration from office colleagues or compliment from the boss, drop everything you are doing and lend an earful! Help each other savor the moment by sharing and celebrating. Promise yourself to open doors to your heart. Your fleeting moments together with few precious grains of happiness will never fail to outweigh darkness.

Don’t let the thought of a probable breakup haunt you

I was hanging around with my friends, I just couldn’t get to call back’. ‘I am over my ex’. ‘You’re just overreacting, there’s nothing to hide’.

Any such thought, big or small, is a big ‘No’ for a healthy and trustworthy relationship. So, if you find this tormenting and hurting, it’s not mere reflection of your anxiety but a red flag of a non-serious relationship.

Justified or not, chances are that you might be thinking of moving out!

But who wouldn’t prefer a few joyous moments over all that gloom and darkness?

And it’s easy too!!

Simply, don’t hold grudges for too long in your heart. Forget the mistakes of the past and reach out for some happy moments of the future. No jumbo patience… and be forgetful of the past bitterness for the real joy comes by chance. Feel it in the peals of laughter at a passing joke that leaves you gasping for breath; when you cross your legs so you don’t pee on yourself for you couldn’t make it to loo. It’s snuggled in the movement of hands painting, knitting, cooking or even rhythm of your legs on long rambling walks. It’s both the feeling of rapids thundering inside you and in the soft humming overwhelming your heart.

Funnily, happiness collides with you only when you are looking the other way.

Image credits: ‘Oldest Living Couple Reveals The Secret To Marital Success’ by Brittany Wong in huffpost.com on No, 22, 2019.

Even happy couples argue

With all that dancing and laughter and revelry- marriages are fun but being married isn’t always a piece of cake. There’s actually a lot that goes into living “happily ever after,” Not every marriage is happiness all the time. Like other relationships, sometimes marriages too hit a rough patch. But when in fight; happy marriages do listen to every view point, recognize them and if it threatens to go off the rail; try to mend them together!

Hinges crusted with past scabs, all that the door to your heart needs is a hard push. Ignore the screeching hinges and push firmly. Loving with all your heart, generously and fearlessly, will come back to you in dollops not dribs.

Accepting the inadequate rewards you with ever lasting bliss. In fact, being in argument means you’re normal and mad and hopelessly in love with each other!!

Age doesn’t matter

Been in wedlock for more than three decades and I have never considered age anything more than a numerical inaccuracy; some numbers that needs to be tackled all the time. The only thing that worries me is that it works more as a multiplier than as a division sum. We all get reduced to a fraction of what we once were!

But what the heck…!

At 40 you could still be the pig tailed gal or some jaunty good looking knock-out beau! Both of you could still climb the trees, jump the wall and beat up all the boys. Young and raunchy, fiercely ambitious with disdain for conventions, you both have had your share of one heartbreak, one breakdown, one true love, one success, one moment of despair and gloom – you have had mountains of them.

Yet looking into each other’s cringing eyes, creaking knees and despairingly loosening skin, things are not so crest fallen. Now that you have learned to love your lines and folds, aches and pains lose ground.

Besides there is no shame in growing old and struggling a bit. It never felt better for me to have equivalent of a general’s medal, pinned to my frame; and a reminder of all the battles I have survived and the ones I won!

Feature credits: ’10 Secrets for Happy Relationship and Tips for long lasting happy marriage life’ by Kennis World in Youtube.com on Sep 20, 2019.

Reality check? Well… “You do complete each other”. Age is a fabled minion that’s romantic and lets you flies high in the real world.

#It matters no more!!