Tag Archives: gratitude

A tiffin full of Joy that came when less was enough

Image source: ‘RI Leaders React To Texas Shooting: McKee Calls For Assault Weapon Ban’ in patch.com

As I dig into the past, simple sweet smell of savory snacks tiffin box from school days is the first thing that comes flooding back. It has the air of a long forgotten shaggy-dog story about days gone forever. I look back and they are still there –clear as open sky, unmissable and hankering to be relived one more time. For some reason my recollection would grow into lengthy stories and that’s the time I love having partnered them. “Amma, would you please put more food in my tiffin?”the sweet chirpy imploring plea of a 5 year old echoes back clearly with many faces.

I still have it in my mind so vividly.

Come January and it would be all about small toys and tiny anchors to keep my days steady. Birthday’s coming! I’d prance around joyfully. Life then, I think was about being slow and simple. The kinda days that ask us to take our time. It’d be dark by 6.00 PM and I’d be in bed by 8.00, if I manage to get away with it. Everything was uncomplicated and elementary.  The world felt uncluttered, quiet and naive. It would though pick up soon enough but I disliked having to rush. Not grown up enough to think straight, I believe I had made up my mind even then.

I’d let the time do the work.

Life was shaping up simple and steady- much like an overnight rising dough, a long roast, a slow simmer. I was inching towards brighter days!

Today what I see in my mind’s eye as I sit quietly under a tree in the park is a little kid of 5 indulging life so dearly that I fervently long to reach out and relive my salad days one more time before I die. The thought endures but I know time is absolute and irreversible.

I’m still hoping to find a few things that I didn’t know I needed as I grope around in my memories.

The Joy of Learning

It was so enlivening to spend time together with classmates. We would laugh together. We would play together and would enjoy tiffin together. Our hearts were on small things and moments that would bring immeasurable thrill and boundless happiness. Maybe life was leading us to a deeper appreciation of our everyday lives and the ways in which we would someday find everlasting happiness. It’s another story that we understood little or nothing of those complex subtleties and finer points of a buoyant life. Then, it was simple and easy- ‘freak out and live a carefree day’. It was as though “you’re being given a lovely warm hug each day without knowing why”.

Tiffin featured large in my own world of joy in small things then. My small irresistible ‘bento box‘ would easily accommodate two decent size parathas a small helping of fried potatoes and occasionally a piece of homespun sweet to brighten up my spread. The fragrant aroma of fried cumin seeds and fresh coriander would invade my nostrils even before I’d unboxed it and stoke my hunger as I greedily reach out for a morsel. First two bites would help me wake up straight and get me restarted for the rest of the day. Nothing would now put off the glee and the joy that would stay with me past noon. Belly full, I’ll be lighthearted and playful.

In my mind I rather waited anxiously for the recess bell.

This ‘feast‘ though doesn’t have to be everyday thing. Anything from sumptuous sandwiches to bread pancakes and veg biryani to veg rajma wrap, ma never ceased to surprise me. I guess the only way she wanted to be there with her child in school was through the lunch box. She would make different things each day and also leave small note inside the tiffin saying how much she loved me.

Today I can fully understand this sentiment of every mother who wishes to connect with her child and brighten their day while they are away at school. 

Sometimes it vaguely felt as though I was going to bed in a bed with newly changed sheets and pillowcases smelling clean and fresh and well tucked in. Waking up next morning and realizing that here is another day, and I can still get out of bed under my own steam.

What would have been more joyful?  Life was treating me well.

Image source: ‘Out of the box: Healthy eating is now part of school lunchrooms’ by Rhythma Kaul and Alifiya Poonawala in hindustantimes.com.

It was lovely to explore new day every time and be fed easily with another bounty of magical joy.

No, she never was a chef-mommy. I think she hardly knew what it meant. Except that she had sensed that she needed to be creative. She would invest her ideas in a small compartmentalized tiffin box, where in one box you pack various things like fruits, dry fruits and savory items in another making your child feel tempted to eat. The advantage was that since she couldn’t pack too much of one thing in the box, she tried small share of everything. She wanted her child to feel satiated with small portion and get to eat a little of everything with variety of stuff. My regular fill in the different spaces were fruits, dry fruits, veggies while the bigger one was for the main meal like parathas sabzi or idli chutney.

The Lasting Impact of my 4th Grade life

When life gets small and time rushes past, often our pleasures dry up. But it is in the smallness of things we get the chance to compress our thoughts, to discover the true happiness that make a life well-lived.

Yeah…simple pleasures and small joys of magical childhood days are not there to last a lifetime. Time then seems to stretch on forever but is never meant to keep company all the time. In a whisper it disappears but lives on in our memories.

It is lovely to go out and meet new experiences and what a joy it is to come back to your own home with everything in its right place in bathroom, kitchen and bedroom. You know where everything is without having to think about it. Yeah…it’s commonplace. From slow sweet mornings, dawdling afternoons or noisy evenings where you don’t know how things will end, you try to keep things pretty buttoned up. This has to be done. That needs to be finished. Life is small and tight. People have to be cared for. Work has to be accomplished. And the rest…

In between do you get to reach out to the child in you, reconnect with your playful side, embrace or tap into your childlike wonders? Have you tried to lay a hand on the most delightful time of your life and may be help it grow and thrive?

Image source: healthline.com

Life’s been alright to me. It hangs around like Okay only to not be Okay. On return each day I look around but couldn’t find my ‘Bento’ to hitch me a ride back to simple good o’l joys of childhood and a glimpse into my 4th grade days.

It’s nowhere to be found.

I guess…Happiness is still trying to give me a slip!

8 Things to Buy to Make You Happier Than You Ever Thought Possible!

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness isn’t spending it right.” Years ago this Lexus ad had set aside all twists of conventional wisdom while selling a car so fancy that no one would ever dream of affixing even a bumper sticker to it.

What made this ad so intriguing was that it offered a simple but an expensive answer to popular doubts; How would you change the money you’d worked so hard to earn into something that’s so close to a good life?’ There must be some connection between money and happiness. If there weren’t, you’d be less likely to stay late at work or struggle to save every penny you can. Why isn’t a fortunate out-of-turn promotion, 4 bedroom house or a fat pay packet cheering you up enough? If money can buy anything under the sun will it shop an extra bit of happiness for you?

The connection between money and happiness it seems is far more complicated than we ordinarily fancy.

Image source: Five things to buy to be happier’ by Rajendra Dani in linkedin.com

Does this mean that expending for material things brings more happiness or would you rather spend it on some exciting experience instead? Let’s own up…most of us face this dilemma in a wrong way. Buying stuff for an upturn in life is no longer a cliché’; it works as well. With little else to do in free time and with almost any item just a click away, it’s easy to indulge especially when you feel like rewarding yourself for everything you’ve had to endure. Joining the mad rush maxing out the credit cards, we feel an inexplicable pleasure in spending on consumer goods, home improvement and vacations even if it’s for a short while. But thrifty or splurging, every buy is a freaky sell out if it breaks faith with happiness.

 While people are naturally disposed towards happiness, it’s more likely that we simply discover things and use them to our advantage, unaware that quite a few carry the promise to brighten up our day and make us feel happier than ever before.

So, if you’re seriously looking for joy in small things, you can elevate your happiness quotient with these 8boost your mood without breaking the bank’ practical purchases and bring back joy and contentment in your life like never before.

Image source: ‘Money Can Actually Buy You Happiness. Here’s How To Get It’ in deepstash.com

Pets Are Adorable

Money alone can’t buy happiness, but it can always buy you a pet. It can’t buy you friendship, but it can help you bring a new companion into your life and that’s just as good. Dogs, cats, birds, – pets everyone of them can ginger up and add colors to great emotions of happiness. Wake up! For with closeness comes the ability to feel loved.

A Comfy Pillow Is One Delightful Thing You Can’t Miss

It’s arguably a must-have for a good night’s sleep. In turn it would earn you a day full of lightheartedness and overall happiness. When you shop for high-quality pillow it enhances your sleep experience and helps save you from neck and back pain. This means you wake up refreshed rejuvenated in a better mood and a happier mind.

Fragrant Candles Are Great Mood Swingers

Perfumy and sweet smelling candles can lift your mood forthwith and bring a gentle soothing ambience to your home. The ambrosial aroma will rouse all your senses, prod positive emotions and fire up memories linked to that particular scent.

What’s more, the soft, warm glow of the candlelight would set up a calm, comforting and tranquil air encouraging relaxation and serenity. Choose the one you love most and your mood would change in a heartbeat.

Online Communities Are Compelling

Strong social grouping is the key to our happiness and emotional well being. Good relationships always prelude happiness and longevity. I usually pick up items that would help quality time with my loved ones. And so can you! Interactive games, cooking equipment or outdoor gear for group activities are just the kind of things to invest in. In bargain, you’ll get all that’s needed for a life-enhancing experience.

Image source: ’11 Simple Things You Can Do Today That Will Make You Happier, Backed By Science’ by Kirsti Lang in buffer.com

An Objet D’art Is Restful and Quieting

The formal elements of a personalized artwork focuses more on quality and can evoke so many incredible emotions that would show on your unique taste and style.  Flat, abstracted, simplified, or stylized, a beautiful piece of art in your living space would not only portray the theme, it would also speak for you. It has the potential to communicate without using words. I guess, it’s just another way of keeping a personal diary. It will bring joy and happiness by making your space feel more personal and welcoming. Just looking closely at the artwork is reassuring and hypnotic. You’ll find the beauty and character of a masterpiece steadily shaping positive vibes and upbeat atmosphere around you that’ll keep you happy and inspired every day.

Plants Are Unwinding

Giving space to plants into your home can significantly elevate your mood and help relieve exhausted nerves. I absolutely knew that greenery hangs heavy. So, as a beginner I had begun with easy-care plants like pothos or snake plant and fruit plants like dwarf mulberry and Meyer lemon. While adding aesthetic appeal to my surroundings, over the time these plants improved air quality and helped build up a calming environment.

Set the ball rolling. Situate them in areas where you spend most of your time. Greens and foliage have therapeutic effect so don’t shy away from a more involved plant care. Not only that’ll be some fun, soon even small acts like watering plants or watching them grow will become your daily moment of joy.

Like Friends Books Should Be Few And Edifying

Lifelong learning is closely tied to happiness and well being. Diverse content including fiction, non-fiction and self-help titles increase your level of empathy, enhance social perception and boost emotional intelligence. So, acquire books that relate to your interests or dare you to try new ideas. Online platforms are equally helpful if traditional ways aren’t your preferred choice. Choices nevertheless, are wide and it’s important not to plough through everything that comes to hand.

Image source: ’10 Tips on How to Attract and Achieve Happiness’in desiblitz.com

Buy Some Humor For Yourself

Laughter truly is linked to pleasure and is rewarding. The best pill for happiness, it never fails to stir up a thrilling experience. Comedy specials, humorous books, tickets to a comedy show, fun party games, movie nights, watching a funny video during lunch break or starting the day with a comic strip; just about everything  would entitle you with the ability to laugh freely and embrace playfulness with a pinch of funny silliness in your pursuit of happiness.

If Only Riches Can Buy Happiness…

I think it’s never been about how much we can spend; it’s about when and where to shell out money. It’s no rocket science but investing the right amount in the things that make you happy will truly bring joy into your life. By making thoughtful purchases and taking time to choose them makes it an unforgettable experience that will bring a lasting happiness in your life.

Small Things Matter,Money Isn’t Everything!

Buying things isn’t wrong. Every shop has a bit of happiness on offer but it doesn’t work well when you push yourself to be happier and mask other emotions. Getting a package delivered, trying on a new pair of shoes, or adding a fancy gadget to kitchen feels great at first, but sometimes there will be a problem; you wouldn’t know if you’ve really shopped your way to happiness! Rushing out to buy a Rolex doesn’t necessarily cures a bad case of blues; neither does a visit to local spa to cleanse your life’s ills. Unaware your spending spree just ends up being more harmful than helpful.

So, don’t jump into a freezing lake on a dare; choose what you think would make you happy.

Image source: ‘Do You Want a Happy Life or a Memorable Life?’ by Nat Eliason in blog.nateliason.com

Incidentally, who said that you have to work hard to be happier? Try something freak’n different for once. Go for a shopping binge for a start. Sometimes the most innocuous looking buy would give off an air of intelligence and will be the best investment in happiness that you can ever make.

It’ll be your moment to smile more and stress little!

Seven shades of joy to help you get the most out of your life!

Reset and start again. Smile one more time!

I wish life had a rewind button. This world then would’ve been a lot happier place to live in and I could tell somebody that the best thing that has happened to me…I’m finally smiling for me again and mean it.

Sure life is difficult. It’s not easy either to make it enjoyable. Very often happiness is eyed as something curious that doesn’t always makes one happy. Pleasure, joy, contentment, satisfaction- not all of these coincide with happiness. These are merely experiences that overlap feeling of being happy and are not the kind that arises from within.

Lately I’ve been reading a lot about happiness and what people do to be happy”. I think I’m a generally happy person but I’m also genuinely curious to know if there is some key to happiness. Honestly, not many of us even know what to do to inspire happiness from within. Many would say that people generally put in little effort into trying to be happy.  But I guess there are definitely ways that could help anyone to be a little happier. It’s already inside you and to find it would simply mean figuring a way in.  

You’ve no doubt read a lot of hype around the concept of happiness: where to find it, how to feel it, how to keep it. But if you ever feel like you need a little more of it in your life, dive in here and see if these 7 ways resonate with your quest.

Change is inevitable

One of the most notable traits to grow happier is our intrinsic ability to accept and adapt to change. Children leaving the nest, careers evolving, uncertain health, maturing relationships; every transition calls for a similar shift in our disposition. Just how much we are ready to accept decides the size of footprints of happiness for us.  

I had never wanted to be badgered by the most common regret people often rue about; “I didn’t allow myself to be happier. Maybe I could’ve done something about it. It just didn’t end up my way”.Since I chose not to be self-denying, I’ve found happiness in my control. I didn’t resist or feared change but embraced it gracefully. Guess, I needed to know when my life shifts.

Today, I find myself doing things that make me happy.

Don’t fake it.

Happiness has never been about being happy all the time. Life is full of uncertainty and faking beatitude would mean emotional upheaval at one time or another. Sure, it would buy you short term gains but at the price of long term pains. Fake it ‘til you make it is not real life.  Being alive means having the privilege to feel everything –good or bad and live through it.

When you try to block feelings that are meant to be felt as a human, you don’t get to experience life to the fullest. Happiness is after all just one piece of the puzzle. So don’t fake it. Let it happen of its own.

Before long you’ll know it’s been worth waiting for.

Image source: pexels.com

Be alive

In the busy haste of everyday life it’s not uncommon that physical activity slips out of our priorities. To be alive and active everyday practice of going for a brisk walk, yoga, gardening or even dancing around the living room would lead to the release of endorphins, the ‘feel-good’ hormones. This induces positive sensations in the body and would result in mitigation of stress besides elevating the mood.

I swore to get out of a deadpan life and stay active the moment I realized that being that peppy and sharp isn’t just about staying fit; it’s like giving your body and mind a big shot of happiness and gratification. It’s like me telling myself, “Hey, I’m taking care of you, it feels pretty darn good and you should be grateful for that!”

Gee…Thirty years down the road, I no longer feel stuck, unfulfilled or lost!

Forget the past

Life is never short of its share of regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities. Yet, it appears happy people would always found a way to stay clear of a whole lot of aches and pains. I guess they learn quickly; that forgiveness is the only way out. Holding onto past hurts and disappointment only serves to rob you of your joy.

Rather than clinging to past wrongs or dwelling on what better I could have done, I chose to forgive – not necessarily because others deserved it but because peace seemed legit to me. I wonder how better I could’ve served myself.

Once freed from the past, I imagine I have saved myself from the chains of regret and bitterness and maybe saved some room for greater happiness and peace as well.

Be kind to yourself.

It’s so easy to beat ourselves up and proclaim that nothing is good enough. But as they say gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.” It helps good times roll again, make you feel more positive, improve and deal with adversity and build strong relationships.

Walking through it allowed me to see that there are lots many things in life that are more worthy of my attention. I needed to work to bring happiness in my life and in those around me. No bubble baths or partying around for me but I’ve been nice to myself thereafter. That stuff would have made me feel good but I suppose it’s more about giving yourself the space to figure things out without flirting with those hippy-dippy things that people do to be cool.

So, if you are working on being happier, just let go of the unpleasant in life; your gratitude will help you get there fast.

What happiness looks like to you?

Regardless of where you are on the happiness scale, each one of us has their own way of defining happiness. The hard part is that many a times we chase other people’s definition. We often succumb to popular version of happiness and end up with a great deal of unhappiness.

So, to be smiling and happy again, you need to determine what it should look like to you. Be brave enough to step into your life and figure out for yourself what makes you happy.

You need to know what you want your life to look like.

Image source: ‘July notes from Dr Klug’ in healthspankc.com

Never rush through life.

It’s a miserable choice and robs you of all chances of being happier.  Being rushed is quirky and would make you sad and out of sorts. True there is not much you can do about it but the balance is just right when you live out a comfortable productive life.

I think setting up goals is great but you need not be in a hurry to get things done. It leaves so much wasted time not soaking in life fully. So, ‘stop and smell the roses before pushing on. Let the good and the bad wriggle their way into your life. It will be a real experience and help you to understand what happiness is all about.

While everyone is different, there are definitely ways that are easy for everyone. All you need is to come forward, figure out what brings joy to you and stay focused without throwing up your hands when it comes to your well being. And if you find yourself nodding along, stay on course; don’t give up.

Image source: ’21 Hilarious Things to Do For a Phenomenal Time’ by susanwhited0 in joyamongchaos.com

You bet! You’ll live well and age happier.

Five simple things that make my World a genuinely happy place to live in!

What is it that makes this World one truly happy place? Are there really no shortcuts to happiness? Do we need to get some kind of foothold for a peaceful life first?

Seriously, I am intrigued when I find people binge-watching, eating mindlessly, going on buying spree even when perhaps they don’t truly need things, and half expecting these as the only things that will make them happy in long run. Of course we all do certain things for survival but very few to feel happiness. Sometimes it’s the combination of positive habits that is enough to make us happy. But isn’t that somewhat similar to finding distractions in life; pushing your boundaries to be happy even when you’re not enjoying them?

This World is definitely a wonderful place to live and be genuinely happy about but we need to create one wonderland of our own worth living in. For now we live in a deeply imperfect one.

It’s not what we say that matters. It’s what we do that counts

A person being told that he or she has lost weight, climbing into bed with freshly washed sheets and seeing an old couple hold hands, might help brighten the day briefly. But unlike others I am not Ok with a laid back living. It gets too bland when life goes topsy-turvy. A quick thank you from the boss after a terrible day at work, your favorite song on the radio when you’re fuming stuck in traffic; does any of this is enough to make you utterly, ridiculously, jumping-up-and-down happy?

Well, it never worked out for me. I tried fervently, but…

All I could think of was how to come up with a running list in my head- things that I could refer back later. A bad boring day was like a tartar sauce that tasted indescribably bland, insipid, warm and like some gooey cardboard. Hard as it was to crawl out of the day, putting everything in one place under my bonnet would somehow make me feel smug and comfortable; and it was some fun too! Nothing’s too big or small to add, I would remind myself.

Guess, I was catching on but would unwittingly condemn every single lesson to my fridge only!  

Image source: ‘How to stay fit forever: 25 tips to keep moving when the life gets in the way’ by Emine Saner in The Guardian

I would still get stressed and flip out over stupid stuff. I had stopped calling the people who mattered. I was ignoring those closest to me. I was neglecting my own needs though I would still rush around and check off things on my never ending mental to-do-list. And yet… it sucked. Waking up early, making coffee and sitting down alone for a quiet time on the couch, afternoon naps on days off; nothing would work for me until one fine morning it occurred to me;

I was eating away on my time.  I badly need a mental shift more than making a list of what would make me happy.

Here’s what I did to turn the World around me and become a better place to live… and be happy about it!  A fleeting happiness, a whole afternoon happiness, or warms my heart from the inside kind of happiness; I would never know but they’re all wonderful.

So, when life goes for a spin and you’re in a tizzy, take a moment to notice the things I did to sway happiness my way.

I learned to love and accept myself

Oh dear! Why it took me so long to learn to love myself inside out. It was so much more about letting go of the things I couldn’t change and appreciating what made me unique.

Being comfortable in your own skin isn’t always easy but it’s a good start to begin with things that make you special. I would let go of the things I cannot change and focus on celebrating my accomplishments. I was planning ahead, thinking positively, getting involved in my surroundings; and being kind to myself.

As it turns out, self-acceptance is not an automatic or default state. Many of us have trouble accepting ourselves exactly as we are. But it’s not so hard to accept the good parts of ourselves.

Doing just that did would help you climb out of the slump!

Hanging around with loved ones rejuvenates  

There are moments in everybody’s life when we find ourselves alone, either by choice or circumstance. It then becomes essential to find comfort in presence of people we love most. It would encourage us to cherish our own company, find joy in our own thoughts and recognize that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely. Having someone you can rely on, someone you can share your high and lows with, is a beautiful feeling. Your soul mate, friends or even your pet–their company could surely make you happy.

So, hang around with someone you adore. It’s exciting and would help lift your world.

The joy of giving is a heart winner

Receiving is a great feeling but short-lived. Our lives are fulfilling when we give and share. The truest joy is felt when we share and help others to better their lives. A kind gesture howsoever small, is sure to brighten your day, kindle self-esteem and bring happiness and that to the other person as well.

Giving in fact takes you out of yourself and expands beyond your limitations. It results in an experience of love, joy, peace, charity, caring, and self-worth. You could get a glimpse of ecstasy once you open a conduit for the kind of happiness that no one can ever steal from you. It is an intrinsic reward -far more valuable than what you receive.

Image source: ’19 personality development tips that will make you unique’ in timesofindia.indiatimes.com

Have something to look forward to:

It’s totally a normal reaction to your present if you experience disappointment or some sense of grief around the loss of future plans. Something as small as your wedding being postponed, random health issues or the loss of a loved one, may leave you sad and wistful- but you shouldn’t. When in a rut imagine of a new potential future- one with good times. It rekindles.

I had learned to believe in making the right choice and to strive to live a purposeful life. It was kinda pleasant distraction and would make me optimistic of the future. It motivated me to keep going when I’d otherwise want to give up. So, watch out for small pleasures; you’ll end up with something to look forward to in an otherwise average life. Loosen up a little and you’ll run into more opportunities to be happier.

Keep moving even if life gets in the way

Can you carry on with exercising when you’re not motivated enough, weather has turned for worse or your schedule has become overwhelming?  It’s not hard to guess whose call that would be. When it’d come to exercising your options I wouldn’t think twice think about how to “get” fit. But often, starting out was not the problem; maintaining it was though I knew that it provides more gratification and the cost of not doing it were higher. Of course, it’s helpful not to try to make yourself do things you actively dislike; but then you don’t have to love it to do it if stakes are so high.  I learned to like what I liked as a child. I didn’t really enjoy exercising but I felt better whenever I did it.

So, keep your shape and lifestyle in check; it would work wonders to your emotions.  Look for holes in your daily schedule that you can fill with exciting activities and let the rest happen of its own.

Image source: ‘How to plan and benefit from a successful digital detox’ by Layla Todd in mohamadkarbi.com

If you’re still wondering if any of this holds the key to your happiness, believe me it’s the only way to be genuinely happy and to see you through the end. It would mean you have done your bit to bring a real and lasting difference to your life. It would mean you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and face the life with a smile and won’t hesitate to push your boundaries.

And above all it would mean shaping a better tomorrow for your self – starting now!