Tag Archives: #Mindfulness

Being comfortable in retirement is something everybody aspire to. But what if we can have it backwards? The myth of waiting for retirement for a fulfilling life is more a conned fantasy than reality.

Don’t Put Your Happiness on Hold -You May Miss Out on Many Clever Things to Do Later.

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Retirement isn’t something we talk about often. Those nearing it speak of it with apprehension; those already in it think they finally are free to live their dreams. Whatever…everyone has a soft spot for an enriched ‘pullback’ life. But dwelling over it or over thinking only makes you miss take notice of the potential for joy and fulfillment that exists in the present. Contrarily, disregard it completely and someday you’ll land yourself in a pit full of regrets and missed chances to happiness.

Image source: ‘Don’t Hang Your Happiness On Others’ by Alex Fayle in possibilitychange.com

This might make you wonder. Is ‘Alone time’ really heavenly? Should you be so eagerly looking forward to that “solo downtime”; to have enough of free space and do just what makes you happy? Or would you rather be somewhere more quaint and peaceful to be able to do what you usually don’t do?

There are hundreds of memes doing the rounds on social media with people joking about how they’re coping with their changed lifestyle in a quiet and cloistered surrounding. This I think is an easily forsaken effort more to fill in time, relieve boredom, improve creativity, or sometimes have fun playing around with words and living through the day without being truly happy and contended.

What’s there To Make Your Day?

Have you figured out the things in life that truly make you happy? Have those things changed as you’ve gotten older?

I have not been lucky enough to have a regular remissions to spend more time hanging around with friends and family. I missed awesome zoos, quintessential museums, short ‘buck-up’ breaks, and trips on holidays or even something as simple as a quad pleasure ride. Baring a brisk wave to others, walking the dog or soaking up the beauty in gardens, life boringly oscillated between being work-bound and housebound.  

I think perhaps a character in my story never could turn into the kind of maverick who knows how to reconnect to elements or even learn the skill to ‘be-happy make-happy’. I was in some way one of those few where being restricted is the norm!

Still…

The point was not lost on me. Prioritizing meaningful life over material wealth somehow changes the way you live out your life. Instead of judging things by what I expend on the basis of what I gain, I saw my endeavors as an investment in memories, relationships and personal fulfillment. I was beginning to realize that what I experience is far beyond the moment in value.

Let me put it this way.

If you love dining out, eating out at an upscale restaurant is not merely an expensive deal only. Neither it is an opportunity to explore the uncommon exotic food which it’s possible otherwise wouldn’t have happened to you. It’s incalculable worth gets caught in time. The priceless time spent together with loved ones creates unforgettable moments and wonderful memories to last you a lifetime.

I consider riches as means to enhance the quality of life rather than a treasure to be saved only to be passed down as an inheritance. Think about it; like your ‘Now‘ unused and leftover it adds little or no value to your happiness.

Image source: ‘100 Happiness Quotes To Lift Your Mood’ by Lindsay Lowe in parade.com

Why You Shouldn’t Postpone Your Happiness

I go for my daily walk every day. A short while ago, while ambling along I met several older people out either walking their dogs or sashaying around to stay energetic. They seemed all retired enjoying life indulging in simple things they fancied. In a rare moment of levity it made me think of all the meaningless inanity I had to endure at my work place. Was any of it worth anything? Did it hold any weight? Was it of consequence? Even when I didn’t know why, I could sense a kind of conventional wisdom whispering to me –“Sacrifice a bit of your present today for a little of better future tomorrow”. Was everything convincing enough to keep postponing my happiness and enjoyment indefinitely?

Nothing would make sense then and it all felt like madness. 

I was being reminded of the old ‘I will be happy when…’ approach.

Or was I comforting myself using that phrase too often?

I looked closely. I had an elephant in my life that was not moving in either direction. I was all for the idea of setting a little of me aside for the future but probably had dithered to catch the wave.

“What lights me up. What I ought to do now to live a fulfilling life without waiting to be free. What is it that has played over and over in my life and seems to matter most?” For once I couldn’t forgive myself for being morbid for I had clearly let two seriously badass issues hold out on my happiness.

Will I make it to retirement?

I know it is not a nice thing to think of the inevitable but it is an unmistakable fact. For many making it to a much-promised paradise will end in dreams. See…we are tutored to avoid thinking about it but when I accepted the uncertainty, I quickly began to see the foolishness of putting off my mirth and happiness.

What if health fails me?

Imagine somebody who admires you walks into your home and hands you over a cheque worth all the money you would ever need. How’d you react? Would it be; “It’s Ok but I’d rather work hard to earn that kind of money”. Aren’t you postponing your happiness even when you’ve the chance only because you believe that you have to earn the right to be happy?

For many it’s difficult to choose to be happy this way. Downside? Your decision to wait until retirement when you’d have saved enough of ‘your own’ might end on delayed gratification where happiness keeps postponing to “someday”.

Checkmate your hesitation and make time for things that make you happy, because “Now” is the only time you have and none other is there for sure.

‘War’ is over if you want it

How many things you think you have put off for retirement?

Sure, life is busy and there’s never enough time of it for everything. But it’s seriously lame to think, “When I’m retired, I’ll have all the time in the World for myself. I will be free to get more out of life and plenty of time to do whatever pleases me”.

To an extent, you’re right. You will have a lot more time for yourself after you retire. And it’s good if that makes you look forward to a better life. But has it ever occurred to you why it could be in your best interests to make a start right now rather than wait?

Image source: ‘Why You Shouldn’t Delay Your Happiness’ by Diana in thewellnessexplorer.com

Reimagine retirement. Over the years you are in the habit of thinking about life the way you do and it’s unlikely to let go in a flash till you retire. The way to get over this tight spot is to stop being inert now in the belief that life isn’t great for now but will get better once you retire. This sadly is not going to happen. Start living your best right away and not wait for an unseen uncertain future.

Be it a fine dines experience, a spontaneous weekend getaway or a special event; make sure to be alive to the moments that offer emotional rewards. Sometimes you will have to push yourself when nothing else will fall your way. Still there’s nothing tricky or conflicting in trying. Life’s too short to miss out living even a second. The same stuff that makes for a great retirement you can use now to  create a positive and fulfilling life that leads up to it.

It has worked as a wakeup call for me. I’ve learned to seize every opportunity I could to make the best out of my Present into a fulfilling tomorrow.

My take on this!

Someday when I look back I’ll be happy not questioning myself “What did I miss?  Was it Ok to not wait until retirement to live a meaningful, purposeful and rewarding life? Haven’t I succeeded in finding a middle ground living for now versus later and met happiness half way?”

Sometimes life throws us into a miserable situation. Everything gets pretty dark and terrible. It’s normal to be unhappy then. But cloud nine is still possible only if you know how to get there!

Unhappy, Mood Swings, Frustrated! – 4 easy ways to unpack your unrelenting sorrows.

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Aren’t we all always looking for ways to be happier even when often we only have odd and ends of uncertainty to contend with? Of course, it’s not easy but not impossible either if you know how to get there.

Image source: ‘How to Cope with Emotional and Psychological Trauma’ by Julia Schwab in juliaschwabtherapy.com

The biggest misbelief is that happiness comes naturally. Honestly that’s not the whole truth. Our subconscious is ‘built to protect’ and ‘persist strongly’ as far as possible. But strictly speaking, we are not hunters or gatherers in an unpredictable wild World. It’s Ok if our thoughts naturally drift to fear and anxiety in moments of stress. In fact almost every sad and difficult gut feeling that keeps pulling us down arises from our repressed mind. Many a times we struggle to live in the midst of this surreal nightmare unaware that these impulses can be thwarted. All it needs is some conscious effort to refix the brain that has a tendency to go face down if a sore moment hurts badly.

These four easy ways, nonetheless can help you overcome grief and return to delights of happiness.

There is Always another Way to Happiness:

There’s nothing unusual if our unconscious mind triggers knee jerk reactions to downturn situations like sadness and loneliness. It’s Ok if your conscious mind takes longer than usual to ‘make sense of everything coming our way’ perspective. When we become aware of the level of our consciousness, everything far and wide rallies to tell us what’s coming up next and what conscious choices we can make to live in the current moment.

By being aware that you have a conscious and an unconscious mind to reckon with, you can bring a huge difference in your life as it gives you the power to decide which one you’ll choose to listen to.

Deepen Your Insight

It’s nothing short of being aware of oneself and showcasing it.

For instance, if you find yourself constantly shifting to a negative thought over something as trivial as your ability to do well in your job, try to find out when was the first time you were as uncomfortable and felt as incapable. It’s somewhat like being diagnosed with severe dyslexia and then experiencing an intense urge to prove to others that you aren’t lagging behind.

Once you do that it will not be difficult to know where those feelings are stemming from. Let them pass or else don’t resist the flow of things. Just stay on course and pieces will fall into place.

Let me say this differently. On one hand, I can compliment myself, thank my efforts and claim to be the most successful person I know. On the other I couldn’t be more unhappy saying to myself, “I’m not enough”. I can sleep over it and let woes multiply. But once I know exactly where that comes from I can put that in perspective.

I don’t really have to live there!

Image source: ‘Understanding Mood’ in Understanding Mood in dana.org

Sometimes it’s Ok to let go and move on  

When emotions run high there’s not a whole lot that we can do about it. But ruminating is one easy way to discover where that indifference is flowing from. Once you let it pass, you’ll know what’s coming up next.

Imagine of it like this. You’re at a railroad station for an upcoming journey and there’s a train approaching. It’s the unconscious that keeps pulling you down, “You’re reasons for this trip are not enough. In fact they’re not good enough”. You can either step onto the train, or be stranded at the station for hours, weeks, months, years. Alternately you can say “Not just yet, not now. I’m not stepping on this train today.”

Setting these unconscious thoughts free while being mindful of your actions, will help you slow down and make mindful choice.

Living with your moment is a powerful approach to life as it encourages you to fully embrace your ongoing experiences without distraction or regret.

Trust the outcome

No one ever wants to suffer. Everybody yearns to be happy always. Aren’t these the two most coveted basic desires of all of us? Who wants to wake up and hope for a truckload of suffering? … I don’t think so. In as much we want to be happy, we hate sufferings no less. But sometimes we relentlessly hold onto our upsets and aches.

One reason is that we are often thoughtful without control — frustrated thoughts, lonely thoughts, worried thoughts, jealous thoughts, depressed thoughts. We don’t particularly want to think of them but we can’t help it and that leaves us unhappy. Learn to rid yourself of these unwanted pensive thoughts. If not that, fence yourself off and look the other way.

Once free, you’ll do just fine.

Image source: ‘When Mom Is Emotionally Unstable. Seven Ways To Heal.’ by Dr. Margaret in drmargaretrutherford.com

Let yourself be unhappy.

When we’re in grief or hurt, all we want is to get away from it. But that’s as hard to come by. We can’t ignore it, pretend we’re fine, be comfortable with ourselves or lash out in defensiveness. We can’t just distance ourselves. In as much as we know that these are typical human response to challenge our reverses, we hardly do anything to take the edge off.. In fact wanting to get away from the unhappiness doesn’t make it any better. It only prolongs the suffering and sometimes worsens it. Instead, tell yourself it’s Ok to feel wretched and sore sometimes. It’s Ok to be miserable and hurt every so often.

Wind down a little and allow yourself to be overwhelmed by that murky sinking gloominess. Tell yourself it’s Ok to be mortified.

Being curious of it’s A to Z all the while though, is a helpful recourse to tide over your setbacks. You can stay clear of all witch hunting hoping for its end.

Don’t want to buy this? Try at least to be intimate with it. It’s not pleasant but it can’t kill you either. This way the end will be in sight sooner.

In fact, it’s where the healing starts and growth happens.

Image source: peakpx.com

There are times when search for happiness ends in the harshest conditions. Such individuals  amaze and inspire me. When Nina Riggs (of ’Bright Hour’ fame) was diagnosed with an incurable cancer, she knew her end was near and was well aware that she’ll be leaving her two young sons behind. Before she left at age 39, she could tell her husband, “I have to love these days in the same way I love any other.”

When we wait for something to happen naturally so that we could scour for happiness easily, we stay unassertive towards our own well-being.  We fail to recognize that it’s our thoughts that make our World and we alone are responsible for our happiness.

…Not the other way round.

I have always believed you should spend your time doing things you genuinely enjoy. So, “Do What You Love, Love What You Do “for happiness is what you seek whenever you step into something new!

When Life Sucks And Happiness Is Hard To Come By, ‘Just Do Something You Enjoy!’

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There is nothing more liberating than not caring about what other people think of us. And yet it’s still so hard not to wonder, or worse worry how people keep us in mind. Sometimes we go a step further and let these perceptions hold us back from doing things we so badly want to do in life.

Image source: us.yonka.com

Does this mean that we’re afraid of embarrassing ourselves in front of those we haven’t met or may never see again? Is there something that stops us from living our lives to an absolute full? Why do we let any of this happen to us and who’s to decide if we’re good enough or not to be happy?

For me, everything that we do sums up to us only and everything else is just somewhat of an excuse. I have always had a passion for self development. And yet I endured months of anxiety and worries wondering about my abilities to do the right stuff. With that spell of unease behind me haven’t I started writing without caring for the end? What if no one reads my piece? Do I care if people think of this as silly of me and a waste of time?

In short, I simply love doing what I do. I’ve put aside the misery and hiccups that follow discovering something anew. If you ask me, if there is something you love doing, then do it. There is so much of ability and confidence that flows thereafter. It would let you truly enjoy your moment- meant only for you and not for anyone else.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about sprucing up and adding value to my life. Sometimes it’s been about correcting my ways to reach a cherished end; sometimes it concerned my well being, getting in better shape or even taking care of relationships. The ultimate purpose was to be happy and fulfilled. So I thought, why not agree to a condition that might come up with a best possible end?

I think an easy way to do that is to ‘Do more of the things you love and less of the things you like’. If you think your life needs a makeover, it’s the only way you can make it happen. Just as much you should cut back on things you like to make room for what you love, you should also cut back on the shoulds.

You Need To Be Kinder To Yourself

I quit jogging at 50 when I found it was hurting my knees and feet and I could no longer keep up. It had occurred to me how important moving outside was to my mental health.

Today I start the day with a half-mile mindful walk, noticing and appreciating my surroundings all the while. It’s hard to tell what difference it has made to my perspective on what really matters in life. I guess I’m now drawn closer to myself. I feel contended and in good mood always since I’m grateful for all that I have.  It’s like relishing a cup of hot cappuccino in bed on weekend morning and a good movie to look ahead to later in the day.  No caveats and no Monday blues to worry about!

Altogether, briefer and gentler bouts of activity have left a positive impact on my mental health.

Yet, I guess there is even more to this!

For most of us, the first experience of organized physical activity comes at school at an age when we’re too dumb assed to speculate about how any of it helps in our well being.

“Is it something that I’ve chosen to do in my leisure time, or something that I have to do at school?” Woefully, I myself could never find the answer to that. Years later when in College I discovered that strength based exercise was the most clinically meaningful way to experience the uplifting effects of any activity.

It’s so easy to recognize that any form of exercise, physical or intellectual does not “happen” only to our physical self but touches our sensibilities too. There are times when even getting out of bed feels like an achievement. And yet there’s always enough room for redress. All you need is, be self-forgiving and gentler to yourself. Howsoever twisted things have been for you, you’ll always find a way out.

Trust me; you will be back on your feet in no time.

So stop hurting yourself. It won’t be long before you’ll feel driven by a strong reason or desire to do something worthwhile.

All of this sounds mighty obvious. But to be happy, you ought to be doing things that’d make you happy.

Image source: pexels.com

Ok, But What If You Are Just Too Worn Out?

What would you do when you want to do something that you think you’ll enjoy but simply can’t because you have little energy left in you? You are unenthused, beaten and just too tired to care. Of course it’s effortless to do the easiest thing like surfing the net or watching videos mindlessly for hours but these thoughtless activities do little or nothing to pep up anything.

Here are two things I guess will work as great fixes for you;

Don’t worry about anything

Worrying about how you spend your time is likely to tire you out even more and make you feel guilty for having missed so much. Sometimes, you may not be left with enough energy to bounce around and might settle to watch videos for awhile.

And that’s Ok. Lying low or sitting tight for a little while is restorative, builds you up and clears the decks for you.

So, set a good intention for yourself and enjoy the time you have.

It’s important to ‘think but not worry’

Whenever I reminded myself that I could be losing ground or falling short, a sense of guilt about how I’ve spend my time, would overwhelm me. It went on like this for years. Perhaps I had tried to turn the things I want to do into things I have to do.

See…if you don’t meet an obligation you’ll feel bad and would probably try to amend. But if you don’t make everything an obligation, you’re less likely to feel bad because you can’t do everything.

Today not everything is an obligation for me. I am reminded of that when I find me saying “I should do this and should do that”.

It’s down to you in the end. You’d rather do well to get down and fill more of your time with the things you enjoy doing. And be mindful of this intent because it is a helpful reminder that your time is often limited by things beyond your control.

Not intrigued yet? Imagine it this way! You’ve never attempted to run a marathon or tried water-skiing without a life jacket. Even mere thought of attempting fails to excite you. You’re as incurious and disinterested like always. And it’s highly likely that you’ll endure unchanged. Even so you can count on this;

Image source: ‘How to Instantly Lift Your Mood’ by Elizabeth Scott in verywellmind.com

You are more likely to regret not watching the sunset because you were too busy with your phone or doing things you weren’t passionate about but because you were too busy worrying about unlocking a lot of hidden joys.

You wouldn’t know but ‘Happiness is so much closer than you think‘!

Both the experiential and material value of a purchase has an impact on our well being and the happiness it brings. So, if money can buy it for us what should we purchase to shop our way to happiness?

8 Things to Buy to Make You Happier Than You Ever Thought Possible!

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“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness isn’t spending it right.” Years ago this Lexus ad had set aside all twists of conventional wisdom while selling a car so fancy that no one would ever dream of affixing even a bumper sticker to it.

What made this ad so intriguing was that it offered a simple but an expensive answer to popular doubts; ‘How would you change the money you’d worked so hard to earn into something that’s so close to a good life?’ There must be some connection between money and happiness. If there weren’t, you’d be less likely to stay late at work or struggle to save every penny you can. Why isn’t a fortunate out-of-turn promotion, 4 bedroom house or a fat pay packet cheering you up enough? If money can buy anything under the sun will it shop an extra bit of happiness for you?

The connection between money and happiness it seems is far more complicated than we ordinarily fancy.

Image source: ‘ Five things to buy to be happier’ by Rajendra Dani in linkedin.com

Does this mean that expending for material things brings more happiness or would you rather spend it on some exciting experience instead? Let’s own up…most of us face this dilemma in a wrong way. Buying stuff for an upturn in life is no longer a cliché’; it works as well. With little else to do in free time and with almost any item just a click away, it’s easy to indulge especially when you feel like rewarding yourself for everything you’ve had to endure. Joining the mad rush maxing out the credit cards, we feel an inexplicable pleasure in spending on consumer goods, home improvement and vacations even if it’s for a short while. But thrifty or splurging, every buy is a freaky sell out if it breaks faith with happiness.

 While people are naturally disposed towards happiness, it’s more likely that we simply discover things and use them to our advantage, unaware that quite a few carry the promise to brighten up our day and make us feel happier than ever before.

So, if you’re seriously looking for joy in small things, you can elevate your happiness quotient with these 8 ‘boost your mood without breaking the bank’ practical purchases and bring back joy and contentment in your life like never before.

Image source: ‘Money Can Actually Buy You Happiness. Here’s How To Get It’ in deepstash.com

Pets Are Adorable

Money alone can’t buy happiness, but it can always buy you a pet. It can’t buy you friendship, but it can help you bring a new companion into your life and that’s just as good. Dogs, cats, birds, – pets everyone of them can ginger up and add colors to great emotions of happiness. Wake up! For with closeness comes the ability to feel loved.

A Comfy Pillow Is One Delightful Thing You Can’t Miss

It’s arguably a must-have for a good night’s sleep. In turn it would earn you a day full of lightheartedness and overall happiness. When you shop for high-quality pillow it enhances your sleep experience and helps save you from neck and back pain. This means you wake up refreshed rejuvenated in a better mood and a happier mind.

Fragrant Candles Are Great Mood Swingers

Perfumy and sweet smelling candles can lift your mood forthwith and bring a gentle soothing ambience to your home. The ambrosial aroma will rouse all your senses, prod positive emotions and fire up memories linked to that particular scent.

What’s more, the soft, warm glow of the candlelight would set up a calm, comforting and tranquil air encouraging relaxation and serenity. Choose the one you love most and your mood would change in a heartbeat.

Online Communities Are Compelling

Strong social grouping is the key to our happiness and emotional well being. Good relationships always prelude happiness and longevity. I usually pick up items that would help quality time with my loved ones. And so can you! Interactive games, cooking equipment or outdoor gear for group activities are just the kind of things to invest in. In bargain, you’ll get all that’s needed for a life-enhancing experience.

Image source: ’11 Simple Things You Can Do Today That Will Make You Happier, Backed By Science’ by Kirsti Lang in buffer.com

An Objet D’art Is Restful and Quieting

The formal elements of a personalized artwork focuses more on quality and can evoke so many incredible emotions that would show on your unique taste and style.  Flat, abstracted, simplified, or stylized, a beautiful piece of art in your living space would not only portray the theme, it would also speak for you. It has the potential to communicate without using words. I guess, it’s just another way of keeping a personal diary. It will bring joy and happiness by making your space feel more personal and welcoming. Just looking closely at the artwork is reassuring and hypnotic. You’ll find the beauty and character of a masterpiece steadily shaping positive vibes and upbeat atmosphere around you that’ll keep you happy and inspired every day.

Plants Are Unwinding

Giving space to plants into your home can significantly elevate your mood and help relieve exhausted nerves. I absolutely knew that greenery hangs heavy. So, as a beginner I had begun with easy-care plants like pothos or snake plant and fruit plants like dwarf mulberry and Meyer lemon. While adding aesthetic appeal to my surroundings, over the time these plants improved air quality and helped build up a calming environment.

Set the ball rolling. Situate them in areas where you spend most of your time. Greens and foliage have therapeutic effect so don’t shy away from a more involved plant care. Not only that’ll be some fun, soon even small acts like watering plants or watching them grow will become your daily moment of joy.

Like Friends Books Should Be Few And Edifying

Lifelong learning is closely tied to happiness and well being. Diverse content including fiction, non-fiction and self-help titles increase your level of empathy, enhance social perception and boost emotional intelligence. So, acquire books that relate to your interests or dare you to try new ideas. Online platforms are equally helpful if traditional ways aren’t your preferred choice. Choices nevertheless, are wide and it’s important not to plough through everything that comes to hand.

Image source: ’10 Tips on How to Attract and Achieve Happiness’in desiblitz.com

Buy Some Humor For Yourself

Laughter truly is linked to pleasure and is rewarding. The best pill for happiness, it never fails to stir up a thrilling experience. Comedy specials, humorous books, tickets to a comedy show, fun party games, movie nights, watching a funny video during lunch break or starting the day with a comic strip; just about everything  would entitle you with the ability to laugh freely and embrace playfulness with a pinch of funny silliness in your pursuit of happiness.

If Only Riches Can Buy Happiness…

I think it’s never been about how much we can spend; it’s about when and where to shell out money. It’s no rocket science but investing the right amount in the things that make you happy will truly bring joy into your life. By making thoughtful purchases and taking time to choose them makes it an unforgettable experience that will bring a lasting happiness in your life.

Small Things Matter,Money Isn’t Everything!

Buying things isn’t wrong. Every shop has a bit of happiness on offer but it doesn’t work well when you push yourself to be happier and mask other emotions. Getting a package delivered, trying on a new pair of shoes, or adding a fancy gadget to kitchen feels great at first, but sometimes there will be a problem; you wouldn’t know if you’ve really shopped your way to happiness! Rushing out to buy a Rolex doesn’t necessarily cures a bad case of blues; neither does a visit to local spa to cleanse your life’s ills. Unaware your spending spree just ends up being more harmful than helpful.

So, don’t jump into a freezing lake on a dare; choose what you think would make you happy.

Image source: ‘Do You Want a Happy Life or a Memorable Life?’ by Nat Eliason in blog.nateliason.com

Incidentally, who said that you have to work hard to be happier? Try something freak’n different for once. Go for a shopping binge for a start. Sometimes the most innocuous looking buy would give off an air of intelligence and will be the best investment in happiness that you can ever make.

It’ll be your moment to smile more and stress little!

When mindful, you do not replay past mistakes or live future worries. Tune into what’s happening around you -right here, right now! And guess what? It’s generally a pretty happy way to live!

Life couldn’t be more beautiful: Four simple ways to live a happier one!

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It gets complicated sometimes, right? Honestly aren’t we the ones who allow it snowball into a clutter in no time. We hang on to stuff that makes our lives more complex than it need to be. It’s a pity that we couldn’t resist making mountain out of mole hills and it’s only a matter of time before everything starts withering on the vine.

Living a happy life is not only about doing away with the physical clutter or spiteful thoughts; it’s more about learning how not to let them rob you of your joy.

The other day I asked my neighbors how they would like to improve their lives. As expected, they said they’d want to become happier. I felt fine. “Same old, same old”! Who wouldn’t want to? Many though wouldn’t know exactly how to go about it.

Becoming a happier person is a personal journey but it can be influenced and steered to a plus size life with a little care. Wanting a little more of it is beguiling and there is nothing wrong to fancy a slice of it. Fair enough if you too are driven plentifully to go after it than stay buried in the weeds!

Sounds not possible? But trust me; it’s easier to quieten that inner critic than you think and jazzing up your ‘dear life’ even more.

So, let’s get into this.

My woes my ‘worry time’

I know, it sounds freaky and unreasonable. Why would you need to set aside some time for your worries when you should actually be doing just the opposite; ignoring all that upsets you or over-thinking?

A few years back, I was in a constant state of worry. My mind was being constantly rapped by a whirlpool of “what ifs”. It was exhausting!

This is when I bumped into this idea of setting aside some ‘worry time’ to deal with everything and anything that bothers me. It was as simple and unsophisticated. Instead of letting my worries keep raking my mind the entire day; I’d choose ‘my time’ to deal with it. Unsure of any other fix, I jumped for it. For half an hour each morning between 6:00 and 6:30 I’d take time off to do nothing else but worry. And…It worked!

By containing my worries to a specific half-hour window to deal with them, I’d set my mind free for the rest of the day. The nagging was there and didn’t vanish completely but felt less intrusive. For once again, I was in control of my thoughts than being controlled by them,

If you feel that your worries keep crippling your day and pull down your happiness, take a shot at it. You may find it just as liberating in the end!

You’d luv to stay connected

Like they say we humans are sociable and thrive on connection and interaction with others. But once off the track and reclusive, it’s easy to get scatterbrained. Staying connected with friends and family gives us a chance to express our thoughts and feelings and gain insights about things that we may have overlooked earlier.

Do I mean to say that you need to be surrounded by people 24/7? Nope! No way. A simple phone call, text message, or a casual stroll with an acquaintance is good enough to break you free from deep thinking.

I never thought it lame to ask for help or share what I was going through. ‘Not Ok’ at first sight and I’d remind myself, “I’m not alone in this”. I’d then find me gutsy enough to reach out to others.  

Trying this might just as well help you get the comfort and clarity you’ve been looking for… without losing control of yourself!

It’s Ok to mess up sometimes

Sometimes I wish for a wishbone. Perhaps life wouldn’t be so imperfect and flawed then. I wouldn’t let it! I would have it cracked evenly in half and my quest for happiness would end there and then. But that’s not going to happen. Like everybody else I too have my moments of doubts and fears. I just couldn’t turn off my inner critic, smile and laugh.

Life hurts!

Lately I guess, I had been rather harsh on myself; only to add to my stress level. Unable  to pull out and move ahead, I decided to let myself feel what I feel, learn to accept myself wholeheartedly and allow myself not to be the best that’s humanly possible but rather to do the best that I can.

And guess what! It worked out well. I could now talk to my inner child, forgive myself for past mistakes, laugh to my heart, knowing that I am enough for me. For once, I could try some intuitive eating and wear comfortable shoes. Geez…my feet ached so badly!

So, next time you find yourself in a tough spot with zero options, don’t be hard on you; find your ‘yes’. It will help you build in some margin as you go ahead. Stop pushing by slowing down. You’re not sitting on a powder keg! It’s all right to have moments like this.

Besides you deserve kindness…especially from yourself.

Image source: pexels.com

Drop it; It doesn’t matter

A few years back I had found myself stuck up with a past mistake that I’d made while at work. It wasn’t much but I just couldn’t move past it. I was mortified and scared of the consequences. It kept ballooning in my judgment till it was colossal! At one point it was like a nasty screenplay on auto run. I was busy all through the day dissecting every detail, every reaction. I was worked up and in a perpetual state of nerves!

All I needed was to somehow loosen my hold on me and let it go as a bad dream. Overselling the same thought was not going to alter what had already happened. I needed was to learn and grow from my experience of the past.

Clutching at my heart I braced myself to take a plunge hoping that this is how I could put an end to my anxiety and perhaps fix my self-censoring mind. Trust me, it turned out well! My doggedness was back, my wits were free and I was finally …de-stressed.

When we hold on to past mistakes or worry about what comes next, we let ourselves be robbed of the joy in the present moment.

Today, I could forgive myself for all the fumbles and stumbles and use them as a learning experience rather than a source of constant stress making my world a whole lot steady and calm. I consider my ‘misses’ as a chance to grow and not as an anchor holding me back. I tag them as a sweet but powerful way to stop beating a dead horse and being happy.

I know it’s hard to learn to distance yourself from ‘cold and creepy’ miseries but with a little practice it gets easier to reach out, connect and stay in touch with your present moment.

Personally I think that the secret to a happy life isn’t in having all the answers or avoiding mistakes. It’s in cherishing the course of life with all its ups and downs, twists and turns. It’s about learning, growing, and finding joy in smaller things.

Image source: ‘How to improve your personal growth’ by Ali in sharetoinspireblog.com

So, if you think you’re unsure of yourself, drifting and tired of wishing for more; take a break, catch your breath and sell this to yourself – “it’s human to churn out imperfect outcomes. And I’ll be Ok with that”.

You’ll live well and grow old happier!

Regardless of the reason you’re unhappy, all you really want is to be cheery again, right? So, if you feel you’re heartbroken, grief stricken and sad, this is how you can turn things around!

Seven shades of joy to help you get the most out of your life!

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Reset and start again. Smile one more time!

I wish life had a rewind button. This world then would’ve been a lot happier place to live in and I could tell somebody that the best thing that has happened to me…I’m finally smiling for me again and mean it.

Sure life is difficult. It’s not easy either to make it enjoyable. Very often happiness is eyed as something curious that doesn’t always makes one happy. Pleasure, joy, contentment, satisfaction- not all of these coincide with happiness. These are merely experiences that overlap feeling of being happy and are not the kind that arises from within.

Lately I’ve been reading a lot about happiness and what people do to be “happy”. I think I’m a generally happy person but I’m also genuinely curious to know if there is some key to happiness. Honestly, not many of us even know what to do to inspire happiness from within. Many would say that people generally put in little effort into trying to be happy.  But I guess there are definitely ways that could help anyone to be a little happier. It’s already inside you and to find it would simply mean figuring a way in.  

You’ve no doubt read a lot of hype around the concept of happiness: where to find it, how to feel it, how to keep it. But if you ever feel like you need a little more of it in your life, dive in here and see if these 7 ways resonate with your quest.

Change is inevitable

One of the most notable traits to grow happier is our intrinsic ability to accept and adapt to change. Children leaving the nest, careers evolving, uncertain health, maturing relationships; every transition calls for a similar shift in our disposition. Just how much we are ready to accept decides the size of footprints of happiness for us.  

I had never wanted to be badgered by the most common regret people often rue about; “I didn’t allow myself to be happier. Maybe I could’ve done something about it. It just didn’t end up my way”.Since I chose not to be self-denying, I’ve found happiness in my control. I didn’t resist or feared change but embraced it gracefully. Guess, I needed to know when my life shifts.

Today, I find myself doing things that make me happy.

Don’t fake it.

Happiness has never been about being happy all the time. Life is full of uncertainty and faking beatitude would mean emotional upheaval at one time or another. Sure, it would buy you short term gains but at the price of long term pains. Fake it ‘til you make it is not real life.  Being alive means having the privilege to feel everything –good or bad and live through it.

When you try to block feelings that are meant to be felt as a human, you don’t get to experience life to the fullest. Happiness is after all just one piece of the puzzle. So don’t fake it. Let it happen of its own.

Before long you’ll know it’s been worth waiting for.

Image source: pexels.com

Be alive

In the busy haste of everyday life it’s not uncommon that physical activity slips out of our priorities. To be alive and active everyday practice of going for a brisk walk, yoga, gardening or even dancing around the living room would lead to the release of endorphins, the ‘feel-good’ hormones. This induces positive sensations in the body and would result in mitigation of stress besides elevating the mood.

I swore to get out of a deadpan life and stay active the moment I realized that being that peppy and sharp isn’t just about staying fit; it’s like giving your body and mind a big shot of happiness and gratification. It’s like me telling myself, “Hey, I’m taking care of you, it feels pretty darn good and you should be grateful for that!”

Gee…Thirty years down the road, I no longer feel stuck, unfulfilled or lost!

Forget the past

Life is never short of its share of regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities. Yet, it appears happy people would always found a way to stay clear of a whole lot of aches and pains. I guess they learn quickly; that forgiveness is the only way out. Holding onto past hurts and disappointment only serves to rob you of your joy.

Rather than clinging to past wrongs or dwelling on what better I could have done, I chose to forgive – not necessarily because others deserved it but because peace seemed legit to me. I wonder how better I could’ve served myself.

Once freed from the past, I imagine I have saved myself from the chains of regret and bitterness and maybe saved some room for greater happiness and peace as well.

Be kind to yourself.

It’s so easy to beat ourselves up and proclaim that nothing is good enough. But as they say “gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.” It helps good times roll again, make you feel more positive, improve and deal with adversity and build strong relationships.

Walking through it allowed me to see that there are lots many things in life that are more worthy of my attention. I needed to work to bring happiness in my life and in those around me. No bubble baths or partying around for me but I’ve been nice to myself thereafter. That stuff would have made me feel good but I suppose it’s more about giving yourself the space to figure things out without flirting with those hippy-dippy things that people do to be cool.

So, if you are working on being happier, just let go of the unpleasant in life; your gratitude will help you get there fast.

What happiness looks like to you?

Regardless of where you are on the happiness scale, each one of us has their own way of defining happiness. The hard part is that many a times we chase other people’s definition. We often succumb to popular version of happiness and end up with a great deal of unhappiness.

So, to be smiling and happy again, you need to determine what it should look like to you. Be brave enough to step into your life and figure out for yourself what makes you happy.

You need to know what you want your life to look like.

Image source: ‘July notes from Dr Klug’ in healthspankc.com

Never rush through life.

It’s a miserable choice and robs you of all chances of being happier.  Being “rushed” is quirky and would make you sad and out of sorts. True there is not much you can do about it but the balance is just right when you live out a comfortable productive life.

I think setting up goals is great but you need not be in a hurry to get things done. It leaves so much wasted time not soaking in life fully. So, ‘stop and smell the roses’ before pushing on. Let the good and the bad wriggle their way into your life. It will be a real experience and help you to understand what happiness is all about.

While everyone is different, there are definitely ways that are easy for everyone. All you need is to come forward, figure out what brings joy to you and stay focused without throwing up your hands when it comes to your well being. And if you find yourself nodding along, stay on course; don’t give up.

Image source: ’21 Hilarious Things to Do For a Phenomenal Time’ by susanwhited0 in joyamongchaos.com

You bet! You’ll live well and age happier.

All of us would love to be happy but many of us seem to have forgotten how amazingly easy it is to make the constant choice of being happy!

Happiness is what happens next when you get busy living dearly!

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If you think that life is meant to make us feel good all the time then you’ve got happiness all wrong.

Sure we have been raised to avoid emotions that make us uncomfortable and fight shy of feelings that are painful and meant not to be felt.  But don’t we crumble at the first signs of stress only because we have learnt to be pain averse all the time?

Why is it so hard to be happy when it is what we all want?

Sometimes we think of happiness as something that happens to us naturally. Yet it’s often jinxed! There is always something to be disappointed about our past that would make us struggle. Unable to shrug off, we let our worst fears overtake our will to be happy. This is when we jump at blaming the situation we’re in. “If only things were different, then I’d be happy.”

Only that’s not how happiness really works! Worse! if you’re born with a grumpy side and bad temper, it’s highly likely that you will never get past living frayed tempers, some bad blood and frequent blow ups.  

I wasn’t born an upbeat person either!

I never took myself to be a sprightly bouncy person; I never was and nothing helped me either to tell myself; ”Ain’t I borne happy”? As I grew up, gloom darkened. “Where does most of the happiness that everybody is talking about come from?” I’d often go nuts. “If I’d ever want to be happier, is it possible to get there?”

For me happiness meant more than a yellow smiley mocking weirdly. I wanted it to be my ‘secret sauce’ to help me to be and do my best. It meant living and enjoying the goose bump moments; it meant luxuriating and indulging life to the very best. It meant letting positive vibes do good things to me and perk up my brain and body.

Like most of us, I too was struck with the idea of being happy. I had so many different ideas about what it is and how to get it, though none seemed hands-on then. Naive and unmindful and left with little choices, I looked for ways to a more positive outlook before everything grew stale and miserable and unhappy!

Here are five of the best ones I found helpful.

Image source: ’10 best inspirational videos’ by Joe Mechlinski in shiftthework.com on Mar.01, 2021.

Faking smile worsen everything-let go of it!

When everything was going downhill and nothing seemed doing well for me, strangely I felt little or no pity for myself for the rut I was in. Nothing would seem right to take the edge off my despair. Since  I couldn’t do much, I simply endured self doubts and slogged.

It took me some time to figure out that a smile that happens all because of positive thoughts, has the ability to rekindle moods and would make me withdraw less.

I gave it a try!…

A bright cheerful one actually made me feel good. It lifted my spirits, raised my attentional flexibility and I would no longer worry much in upsetting situations.

Suddenly I was seeing the whole forest rather than just the trees.

Image source: getty images

Today, forcing a smile even when I don’t want to is enough to lift my mood and that surprisingly feels fine!

Go outside – Fresh air would brighten your day!

I guess Shawn Achor in ‘Happiness advantage‘ did share some pretty good news for those of us who worry so much about fitting new habits into already-busy schedules to make their lives easier and happier. Betting on better life experiences, his recommendation of 20 minutes is never short enough time to spend outside; something that you could fit into your commute or even lunch break!

I make time to go outside every day and spend 20 odd minutes in good weather. It elevates my mood, broadens thinking and cheers up my working memory. I am substantially happier when outdoors in all natural environments than when slugging around in urban territory.

And there’s more to it!

Did you know that ‘Happiness maximizes outdoors at 13.9 Celsius‘? That’s awesome! But then you simply have to live it to believe that. It’s fascinating what a small change in temperature and 20 minutes of fresh air can do to our well being.

For now I‘ve stopped living my fears. I flatter myself with brief pep moments when I go outside with crisp fresh air gently hugging me. I always find it happier outside. Early summer morning or a warm sunny wintry afternoon works just as fine for me.

Hang around with friends and family & fix your woes!

Togetherness and reaching out to family and friends is perhaps one of the top five regrets that most people take to their deathbeds. I never wanted to perish with a wish so gross. So I looked around for a lifeline and oddly was awestruck by the way Daniel Gilberts-a happiness expert– had spelled it out.

” We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends”.

Like love affinity means something different every time we say it. It’s what a acquaintance isn’t. You may find good mature ones but they don’t really last long or get you good deep rooted connections.

The cue worked darn well for me! I’m no whizz person but opening up to family and friends was enough to light up a smile in my life.

See… spending time in social circles becomes highly valuable when it comes to improving our happiness! It makes a big difference to how we perceive happiness. Nothing else could actually buy us those pearly moments of happiness.

Plan trips but don’t take one!

This sounds crazy but as opposed to actually taking a holiday, planning for one or just a small break from work, tweaks our happiness. In fact the latter spikes during the planning stage of a vacation as the sense of anticipation simply turns exhilarating.

Not many of us may have the luxury of long holidays. Worse, scuttled weekends are grumpier. So, if you cannot take the time for a vacation or even a night out with friends, put something on calendar- even if it’s a month or a year down the road.

Then … whenever you’re feeling miserable and lost and need a boost of happiness to get over your woes, remind yourself of all the good things that are going to happen to you in a short while.

Even a small push that could light up your mood is worth a try! I’m sure you’ll feel stoked and happier afterwards.

Rewire your brain to stir up a lasting sense of happiness

When Ani Tenzin Palmo-an English woman who spent 12 years in a cave in Tibet quipped; “We do not know what a thought is, yet we’re thinking them all the time”; perhaps she had not fully understood the neural bases of states like happiness, gratitude, resilience, love, compassion and so forth.  Donald Hebb- a Canadian scientist, put this in a better way; “Neurons that fire together, wire together”. What this literally means that with proper practice we can trick our neural machinery to build up a positive state of mind!

The fact that we can actually alter the way our brain works through meditation was a big surprise to me. It somewhat reassured me of what I already knew but could hold on to; “We feel and think today isn’t permanent”. Every thought of attempting to raise levels of happiness thereafter would be just as overwhelming.

Image source: Getty images.

Geez…today, in the minutes following meditation, what I experience is epic. Calmness and heightened awareness is what comes after this dazzling cytokine storm of positivity.

I certainly love to be happier, as I’m sure most of you too. But much as it is interesting, it is no surprise that different people have different ideas about how to get it. The truth is that happiness doesn’t occur by chance; it’s a constant choice, we have to make every second of every day.

I’m sure someday you too will just as well find peace and happiness at will and celebrate life as you ever wanted to.

Till then, keep smiling and face up…