It’s one way street. You’ll tick for sure! But you being multifaceted is the very reason people will think of you as fake, crazy and more sardonically -unhinged. It’s your duality of being warm and cold when necessary that ruffles the feathers.
Image source: ‘The Top 8 Things People Desperately Desire But Can’t Seem To Attain’ by Kathy Caprino in forbes.com
And yet there are ways to assert that two can exist at once.
I chose the word “unstoppable” not because it easily distracts from more mundane things but because I need to be more focused and prioritize what is most important to me. If I can get in the flow by focusing on one thing at a time without taking my eyes off the unseeable, I think I’m unstoppable.
I chose the word “unstoppable” because it lends me the power over my choices and the consequences that follow. The choices that I make are meant to impact others and they can also affect who I become.
Think about it; today is the youngest you’ll ever be. Every moment is precious. Life is ephemeral and right now you are who you are because of the choices you’ve made so far. Tomorrow it may be different or you may keep moving the same way. Everything is about the progress you make all by what you say or do. Nothing is perfect. I accept that it’s okay to make mistakes. But it’s equally important to learn from mistakes and use them as opportunities for growth and self-improvement, rather than be excessively hard on yourself.
As I grew up, I also followed the same unwritten rule that is such a convention everywhere; focus on a niche and become an accomplished person. That of course makes sense. By learning the ropes and acquiring expertise wouldn’t I be able to take on additional responsibility and assume greater roles?
Theatrics apart, it did little to help me out. After working for a couple of years as a corporate executive, my dreams faded and my well laid out plans just went out of the window. I stopped thinking or worrying much about my position and instead seriously began thinking about shifting roles or rather what felt more authentic to me.
What followed next is history. For some nebulous reason I stayed stuck. I quickly lost heart in doing whatever I was doing. I was engaged in a role that was not aligned with my values and passion. Nothing would help me feel more connected to my sense of purpose.
Until;
I learned that the only way to rid the rut was to ruminate and re-examine my beliefs and motives. Was I curious enough about my purpose? Do I have a habit of thinking only about my own pattern of thought? To be unstoppable don’t I have to be self aware and know myself? It’s like an internal vibe- a big ol’ authentic paw print that you leave on the world around you-like the lingering scent of fresh buttermilk cookies dipped in honey waiting on your kitchen table to be savored with morning tea!
To crank up my desirability I dived into three small but mighty capable things that I thought will most likely help me build a dream boat lifestyle. I wanted to be chased as a confident, kind and ambitious guy and not be out there wobbling through my life like a three legged stool.
Needless to say you shouldn’t expect to attract a 3-star Michelin human experience if you’ve been living and working in a laid-back way I had been doing.
Image source: ‘The trend of solo travel picks up during the pandemic’ in hindustantimes.com
Keep it Short and Real
Verity these days is as rare as a great white shark flailing around to show it loves to cuddle.
I gave up trying to impress people around me with everything I had; money, success, status you name it. It was not a big deal. I simply had to junk the idea to make a splash hurriedly presuming that this move will somehow improve the quality of my life. It’s pretty exhausting and tough. I was letting people see me as an ego-tripping self absorbed smug.
For some reason I found my own foolishness amusing. I was trying to reconfigure and make a fresh start and I was clueless to figure it out!
It made me laugh at myself. I laughed at my mistakes; I laughed thinking how seriously people would take my brief encounters.
Still the mirth was quite elevating. It helped me plan, procure and perform no less than I ever wanted to.
So don’t drift if you’re willing to take the plunge. Unwittingly if you forget to chill, remember to recall Steve Jobs’s words on ‘why being worth $10.2 billion doesn’t matter at the end of the rope‘. You’ll get your redemption.
Choose the Right Battle
Do you struggle much while trying to ‘fix’ your weaknesses? You’re great at marketing, but tech is your worst nightmare. Grappling with problems make you nervous. You get uneasy easily, feel helpless and usually end up procrastinating. Making time and energy sans result messes with your overall confidence levels.
So why not just outsource or delegate it if you think you cannot handle it all by yourself? Sometimes, the key to better confidence is to avoid something, rather than do something silly. Focus on your strengths and your confidence will skyrocket! Your self esteem will turn bold and you’ll feel empowered like never before.
Don’t Let Fear Scare You
Ever heard of ‘Productive Paranoia’? It’s what Jim Collins brought up in his book ‘Great by Choice’. It describes a positive and proactive mindset, meaning that if you are afraid you’ll jump to act to address the cause of fear. Bill Gates said he used to worry a lot that unseen an unknown teenager working on somewhere someday might make his existing tech obsolete. He used and directed that fear into working even harder!
Manipulate your fear to take action. Go ahead, Hit the road. You will no longer feel helpless. This is when you’ll be in control and absolutely sure of yourself. You’ll know when and what to take on!
However there’s another hurdle that you simply cannot jump over. Once you’ve accomplished what you think is one thing that would make you successful…What next? Success, happiness, and fulfillment all have an unhealthy way of changing over time. After you’ve found success in one way, try to find it in another.
By overcoming adversity and scaling expansive goals, you create a penchant for personal success in your subconscious mind. You will find yourself being driven impulsively toward repeating that success in your other endeavors. Trust me, when this happens! Pride yourself; you’ve learned to succeed by succeeding. Eventually this synergy will start to toot horn for you and success will rain in from all sides.
Do you know each one of us has the potential and ability to accomplish extraordinary things in our lifetime? Except when you do not know how to get going, there’s nothing to stop you from pursuing success.
Not knowing why I did half the things I did, I had continually struggled until it became absolutely clear to me that complacency is only a restful escape from reality. I need to reach out and embrace productive practices to become unstoppable in life.
Image source:’Positive and Negative Energy : Your concepts of negative may be someone’s positive!’ by Udaylal Pai in udaypai.in
Thirty years later, today I do not fear- often disruptive- life changing choices. I no longer stand meekly in the land of busted and broken insecurity. I am not unadventurous but I choose to steer clear of known failures and move on from an unworkable solution to figure out something howsoever unfamiliar.
Isn’t ‘approbation’ the only eternal edge everybody aims and hopes for in a genuinely successful life? Is there a better way to rewrite your story than to junk the stereotype to become multifaceted?
Image source: ‘How to Talk to Young Children About Skin Color’ by Ron Grady in readbrightly.com
I am the one who believes that all people are equal. I judge them for their personalities not their skin color. Black, brown, white or yellow; it doesn’t matter. We are born all the same. And you don’t have to speak the same tongue to be friends just as long you can understand each other.
Ever since I was a little boy I have not seen much but learned a great deal about racism. Here in this country nobody tells anybody to discuss it. Nobody has told me to talk with people of same skin color and possibly the same language only. Frankly people have so much in their hands to give a hoot. In fact nobody wants to hear it, nobody wants to know about it, nobody even cares. For them it’s unfair to discriminate on ethnic terms. It just feels so wrong.
Yet the commotion of racism in a world full of differently colored people never stops. Its unending backlash keeps ricocheting now and then in one place or the other. Consequences are the reprisals that often end in pain and hurt many.
Imagine yourself in a date with your beau or gal from a different race. It’s not fair to ask but wouldn’t you hesitate? Isn’t the fear of harsh reality of color prejudice buried deep within you tries to shut you down in their company? Would you dare hold their hand in public? Wouldn’t you rather upend your relationship than socialize along with them?
If you are brave enough to say ‘no’ you’ll most likely be shamed as a ‘racist’; if you do I’d certainly be the one to buck you up for not caring about their skin color but the heart that throbs for you beneath it.
Still, do you think there will be no more tourist attacks because everybody is friends with everybody even from a foreign land? It’s a hard guess but not inconclusive. Choices are compelling but the world we know can still be made a much better to live and thrive if it isn’t for an irrational fear and dislike for pale or dark or brown colorism that verge on cronyism for lighter skin.
Even to this day it’s difficult to get a job outside your coterie not because of your inefficiency but the recruiting agent finds it wiser to look the other way when narrowing down the list more because of his cynical bigotry. I call this creaming off narrow minded racial profiling. With obvious joblessness many are left with no choice but to start a business on their own. Even if they get to pick up one it’s not certain if they’ll get any coworker to lend a hand, again because of their skin color. So technically they stay jobless.
People of this world with a different skin color are largely an unhappy heartbroken race. Do you know why? Their history that spans a long period has endured an extensive experience marked by bitterness and ‘Powers’ that never flinched to jump to cut or sting. Their gradual fall from grace has been rude and shocking.
Of course campaigns have brought awareness but haven’t necessarily got rid of the deep-rooted beliefs. Nobody has managed to find a way to help the dark-skinned women feel beautiful in their own skin no matter what their skin tone. “You are fair. Everything looks good on you”; the mockery hasn’t given way to a conscious appreciation.
Don’t you think if we judge people on their skin tone we might as well be telling ‘Gods’ they made a mistake. ‘White’ is easy even if it’s not stark but a streak of ‘Darkness’ robs luminosity. Shadeism surfaces full on, overshadowing the fact that every human being is made for a reason. Nobody is here to be judged or bullied. Life that we know of would be much better if we didn’t think of people by their skin color.
My take!
Just think of what you would say to the next person that you see that doesn’t have the same skin color as you! Your thoughts will rattle you for a while. Your judgment will firstly betray you with a harsh opinion about other skin color. But your slant need not cloud your belief. Care for them, the same as your best friend. Of course, you don’t have to tell them your secrets, but look upon them nicely even if you’re racist or not.
Image source: ‘We are one’ in lycanlover.com
We Are All Different Shades Of A Single Hue
Just a few days ago while shopping, I saw a dark complexioned woman buying a fairness crème at the same utility store. Honestly, I did not know what to feel. I was rather shocked at someone valuing fair skin tone even to this day. Does that really make someone feel that it’s possible to lighten one’s skin tone? What bothered me more was how deep seated this conviction is even when most of us are aware that you can’t really do much to change your skin tone. Seems like people have forgotten to slight those bizarre ads claiming to “Illuminate Your Beauty with Radiant Fairness” .and shrug off the idea of buying unrealistic fairness crèmes!
I remember as a kid someone categorically telling me that if I eat enough beetroot through my junior days I will be ‘blessed with’ a fair skin tone! No wonder our obsession with fair skin tone begins with the ‘belly’ even before the ‘birth’!
My reality though is simple; I as a person do not value myself any less because of the color of my skin.
But is there truly any end to this? Will we all ever be equal for once?
One good reason why everybody looks away when it comes to ‘color at work’ is that it’s too damn easy to jump to some very unhelpful expressions; “I don’t see color” or “I don’t mind working alongside people of color”. For many it’s an unquestioned conviction. And it’s equally hard for them to keep pushing oneself to believe that “We all are equal. We are all one human race and skin color is irrelevant”. In fact it’s one such compelling idea that fits neatly with their idea of progress and supremacy.
I would say it’s unfair not to admit that this is how even some people of color feel too. I know of those who have denied their own backgrounds simply because it did not fit with their thought of “This is how I want to see myself”. Perhaps not proud of their complicated heritage or even feeling confused of being differently colored; people are known to deny respect to themselves. They may breathe easy by saying that ‘color discrimination doesn’t exist for me’ but it’s as good as denying a part of themselves.
I think maybe it’s better than seeing one color only. The shocking incidents of George Perry Floyd Jr.-the African American and Amt Cooper -white dog walker from Canada are a grim reminder to the irony that reducing someone down to their skin color spawns a whole bunch of negative assumptions around them. Quietly sheltered and kept under wraps this ‘overt racism’ is a shocking hint to them that the only thing that matters but hurts most is that the World around is oblivious of them and is inattentive.
Image source: ‘7 Most Common Reasons/Types of Employment Discrimination’ in employmentlawassist.com
Do We Need To Talk About It?
I don’t think that we really have to take notice of it even if there’s very little of it. For many it helps to keep the myth of progress alive and unquestioned. It prevents all conversations about the how different the experiences and needs of these ‘color groups’ are.
Tricky race dynamics apart, racism tends to be more prevalent for some ‘groups’ over others. Except that none has the courage to acknowledge it.
I wonder if people still believe that skin color determines a person’s worth. Or am I naive enough not to accept the unacceptable? Isn’t this a colossal denial of a tranquil existence?
For a moment my answers may belie your assumptions. Your judgment may dither and at some point may dissent enough to be your restful escape from reality. But do something right even if only you are there to witness. It’s a way to the highest most altruistic form of integrity. Get out of the box without sizing the audience.
Besides you need more sunshine than anything else if your cheeky ego has scored one up on your subtle sensibilities. Color discrimination is passé. Treat every ‘color’ as your best friend. ‘Black lives matter’, tags and images are not there any longer and will never help.
It will be a small victory, but to millions it would give hope. It will make them feel “I’m not alone any more”. It would make me realize that there are many around me who care and want to change the way the world perceives skin color.
Whenever I look back at history’s horrifying events, particularly those that happened in this part of the world, a twinge of grief overwhelms me. I get sad and sore. And I begin to doubt myself. “Would I’ve ever tried to be on the ‘right side of whatever injustice is happening?Had I been in the midst of all the horror would I’ve bravely resisted the abuse and outrage? Were I living in the ‘Greater India’ in the 1900s would I’ve been valiant enough to be allied to the civil rights and freedom movements? Would I’ve joined the rallies and protests in support of rightful rights of oppressed citizens?”
Image source: ‘4 Tips To Help Children Learn Dates From History’ by Asha Thomas in thetutor.me
Honestly I’m not so sure. At least I wouldn’t have sided with unfairness or discrimination. More importantly, I’m in and from 21st century where every cause stems from a moral right though often vilified and comes with factual downsides. And that gives me fair enough reason to make peace with my failings!
I sometimes wonder if somehow I could get to time travel back into 1940s then surely-surely I would’ve tucked myself into the civil disobedience and independence movement against the atrocious colonial rule; one that began in May 1857 and prevailed till Aug 1947.
Is this the obvious truth or am I tricking myself into self deception?
Honestly I’m on the fence…
If I were to assume that I am someone blessed with unmistakable demographic attributes and there’s no way I can be sure how the future would unfold, would I ever be flanking the brighter side; one that I know as the “Right side” of history”? Isn’t it more likely that I’d keep my head down and try to stay out of trouble for all it means?
Hell! Once headed into 40s and obviously more dim-witted than now, it’s highly likely that I’d be less certain of the appropriateness of the freedom struggle in the first place. I wish and hope it wouldn’t happen this way. But if that’s how I’m fated to end up I know for sure I’d be rightly dismissed as a coward.
Clearly that very definitely would‘ve me walled off on the “wrong side of the history”.
Unarguably, to be on the ‘right or wrong’ side of the history is everybody’s rallying cry. So, when we talk about the righteousness of a cause, the weight of history makes for a powerful argument. Who doesn’t want to be part of a great historical narrative, be celebrated and continue to live on as a morally upright person for the future generations to judge with awe?
It actually is a nice way to make an argument both logical and persuasive at the same time. Isn’t it?
For that reason if you are really serious about rewriting the moral crusade of your life time, you need to firmly believe that progress is possible at all times. A better world can always be built and you need not have to accept things as bad as they are.
Image source: ‘4 Tips to Set Yourself Up for a Better Tomorrow Today’ by John C,Maxwell in success.com
Don’t Mind the Small Stuff
Focusing on what you think or feel in the current moment is one easy way to cut through the uncertainty. How you live out your present will rework history for you.
”What am I feeling and contemplating right now? How do I feel about the current state of my life?”At one time or the other this is how we all day dream, mull while fidgeting with stress ball and sometimes when we’re disconnected with ourselves. Whenever we trip back to the past or dwell on the probable course of future events, our focus goes off for a toss. A pattern of depression overshadows our judgment and we can hardly discern right from wrong. Fear, shame, guilt, sadness and the fright of the past coming back to haunt, bring us back moments when we did something we weren’t proud of.
Contrarily not everybody would yield to it. “If I don’t feel bad about it then I don’t regret it and then it’s like a “good thing” for me. “I’m sure I shouldn’t suppress things so I must hold on and own my actions”.The rant could continue indeterminably.
How we treat past events that no longer exist is not relevant but events from the “Present” live on. Your unwavering focus today on chosen accomplishments will be one nasty home-stay for your anxieties and fears and yet will decide your place in history.
The resolute ones among us are usually more determined in their judgment when it comes to setting up some remarkable legacy for posterity. Their reasons though are vague and arbitrary. “If I don’t worry, who will?”, “I need to think of the future, otherwise I won’t foresee what’s coming next or how am I judged many years later”.“Don’t I need to focus on what I want in order for me to manifest it?”
For future to turn out exactly as you perceive it, is a near impossibility as there are always too many things that cannot be maneuvered. The only one we can manage is how we feel about a situation. We do not get to control how the future comes together. We can only be in charge of our perspective and not worry about what’s going to happen in future.
So, stay in moment and enjoy every second of it. If you want to get a more “complete picture” of where you are in life, where you want to go and how you want history to judge you, it’s important you know how and when to zoom in and zoom out of your perspective and recalibrate it properly and fittingly.
Image source: ‘The Courage and Consequences of an Uncompromising Life’ in twojourneys.org
Which Side is the ‘Right One’?
What would I like to accomplish this week? What’s that that will make me happy accomplishing this month? What’s there that I need to strive to accomplish this year?
These are questions everybody has rough answers for. Nothing definite but a wobbly tentative way-out lurks in everybody’s mind. Sadly every foresight is largely underrated and usually sells short. . On the other hand most trailblazers could see a few steps ahead before committing themselves.
Now that you’re seriously weighing your legacy, there is no better time to re-visit your timeline for necessary aligning than when you start digging for answers. I know nobody’s vision of the future is ever crystal clear; it never will be. But like I said it’s always good to following the beaten tracks of ‘bleeding hearts’ from history.
I am willing to adapt. I’ve resolved to be particularly attentive to how my ‘daily routine’ and ‘evolving timeline’ overlap and work out together. I frequently ‘zoom-in zoom-out’ of my perspectives to be in harmony with my long term fondest hopes. I keep re-evaluating my life on a frequent basis. I know that there is no single perspective that is ‘better’ but my ability to shift my vantage point when needed has the real power to reframe my history with certainty.
Still, one should always hedge his or her bets about being headed in the right direction. There is nothing there that’s absolutely certain or right about what course leads you to the ‘right side”. Nothing’s verifiable. Even Newton’s theory has been wronged in some respect. So’s Copernicus’. Hasn’t quantum physics completely changed our understanding of the universe?
Image source: ‘How to Use TODAY to Make TOMORROW Better’ in havingtime.com
Whatever…these uncertainties are all simply reminders; that what we think we know we may not know much about. This world is full of enduring fickleness and is abominably contentious. Both morally and temporally there is a right side to everything-the side that bends more towards justice and fairness.
What you choose today forges your tomorrow and the days after. For you live your places in history everyday! And remember everything at first works counterintuitive but bends towards uprightness once pitted against real effort.
Besides it’s just may be that the right side isn’t always in history, it’s in our hearts and bones.
I suppose I’m fortunate to have only happy memories of my childhood left with me. Surrounded by a doting family and a great looking dog, unpleasant ones have over the time somehow faded away. Besides I just don’t wish to look back and relive any.
Image source: ‘Senior Living: The challenge of being a new grandmother’ by Liane Faulder in nationalpost.com
Today it’s easy to figure out what made my early years so great. Like a superstar she was everywhere, always there, smiling all pervading. How can I ever forget her withered face and corrugated forehead that shone through folds and creases and a bad dentistry? She was a constant companion –bodily and in other ways till she passed away at a golden age of 84.
My grandma from what I remember belonged to a generation that had lived through two World wars, the tumult of Partition and another couple of Wars-one in the West by an unruly Pakistan and another one in the North across the Himalayas by the belligerent dragon China. The world on this side of the fence had really taken a relentless beating, People were pushed against the wall and had to endure a great deal. Watching over their families was a rough going. Amidst such challenging times she kept her nose clean and minded a conscientious care for her family up to the time her debilities overwhelmed her spirits.
It was a sad and dispiriting gloomy afternoon when the shattering news of the inevitable reached us. Till the end she had never called in a favor and was a proud free-spirited empowered woman her entire life.
The Joy of Being a Grandson
To assume that the ‘cradle to grave’ age difference between us somehow weakened or clouded our perspectives would be unfair, lest think of, to describe how I see my ‘grandma grandson’ bond today. I was a little kid of barely five then and so wet behind the ears to have any definitive frame of mind. I just had a fifth birthday. Unsophisticated, naive and truly green to understand worldly subtleties, I was looked upon as a starry eyed, innocent kid trying to find his foothold in this incredulous world. Clueless and unmindful I guess I understood only tenderness and warmth then.
Despite prolonged separations-my father being a Police Officer and distantly posted- I immensely enjoyed grandma’s company whenever we would visit her on school holidays. Being one of a dozen grandchildren, I could barely have her company except when the adults engaged in serious talks outside and other siblings were too preoccupied to mingle with her.
As ever, grandma would cuddle me, reach out for home made laddoosandwould be so excitedtotell me all kinds of stories about her childhood. She didn’t seem to care if any of it made any sense to me. I was just there as a generally happy listener to be easy ears to her reminisces when no one else would. I was the reason for her contentment when she would talk about things profound and incomprehensible to me. All silent I’d be a courteous audience to her recounting. She savored these moments and smelled the roses for all I could make out.
Born much before the First World War, she had endured an entirely different childhood that was rife with loss, privation and denial. The country was under the yoke of British raj and basic rights of natives were the distressed lot. Privations and disadvantage rode the wave. Clearly her parents couldn’t have hoped to muster enough means and raise her appropriately.
So, grandma never made to the school.
Image source: Cottonbro Studio in pexels.com
My Childhood and Grandma – Nostalgia Live-on
Like in typical households, where boys are pampered and favored much more than girls, my grandma had to stay at home to do chores and learn cooking. The only opportunity she could manage to learn a little was when her cousin brother was having lessons with the family tutor. She would shyly sit quietly on the floor at the far end of the long bleak, dimly lit room, across her brother and tutor and listen intently. Interestingly somehow she learned to read and write, even just a little upside down – an ability that later turned out to be quite practical, especially whenever she would try to read and share my story books. Sometimes on weekends she would together with other siblings go to the Zoo – not a stone’s throw away from home but not too far either. There she would sit down cross-legged underneath a tree and musingly watch all the fun going on around her. The faint amusing smile would never leave her face. Even while walking us around the cages or handing out scrumptious wraps of pooris, with flavorful savory aloo fry stuffed within and sweet- sour mango pickle, she would be happy faced always. Perhaps she knew that life is time sensitive and she didn’t want miss a moment of happiness for nothing.
Her soul was something I guess that had struck a note with everyone . Everybody admired her benevolence and caring compassion. I could never forget her sitting comfortably on grass bed handing out to little greedy hands unmindful of the fuss and squabble around her.
During the Partition often life came to a standstill she would tell us. To protect her kids from marauders in the street who preyed on Hindus she would run children underneath her bed and the whole family would stay stuffed like rag dolls together for hours- joking, giggling and whispering funny quips. Many a times they would miss being discovered by just a few inches which grandma with a great sense of gratitude would fiercely claim was a divine favor.
The time would simply rush out of the window and we wouldn’t miss any of the fun!
Image source: Ron Lach in pexels.com
This is just one of the many stories she would recount over the years. Now that I think about it, her young adulthood and my childhood were worlds apart. Yet something held us together. My childhood was quite happy and fulfilling. I didn’t need to go through the trauma like she did where uncertainty called the shots and fear was in charge. I never faced educational barriers, ignorance, illiteracy, un-enlightenment unlike her because since I was born it’s been part of me. When I was younger, I never really had the chance to be myself, sprawl out on the grass, while away my time doing nothing except stargazing or learn the art of hand knitting. All I remember was staying at home, playing with neighbor’s bit older kids or reading Phantom series, something I’m sure she wouldn’t have dreamed of doing.
I guess our different backgrounds were what made her such an interesting person to listen to. Her stories felt like history books coming alive. She was special in so many ways. Her loss is felt deeply by many, but none more than me. She lived a full life and left a gaping void when she left. For a couple of years before the end I had watched her fight off her frailties. She was a rock to the family but fragility had kept her slipping.
A Lasting Tribute
The love of a grandma is unique. It seems like God gave us grandmothers to liven up our lives, to make it more whole, to make us grow into better human beings. For me she meant a great deal in shaping my childhood. I remember sitting in the kitchen beside her and gleefully relishing the sweets she would share with teasing playfulness. Her companionship taught me a lot about love and the meaning of family. In fact, she never was just ‘grand mother’ to me. More than that, she was my guardian, my friend and my inspiration. I miss her dearly. I guess her spirit and strength, lives on in each one of us and in the lives that she touched. She lives on in me and in all those who have been moved by the love, strength, conviction, wisdom, and beauty of her soul.
Image source: indivstock.com
Love you grandma – You truly were a special, special woman to me! You’re no longer among us but your memories would always live on in me. Thank you for your sacrifices, your care and concern, your love and everything that you did for everybody. I know you are in a much better place. I hope I never forget to be grateful and thankful that I was fated to be your ‘grandson’.
You’re gone but not forgotten grandma! I miss you so much.
Until we see each other again some other time, some other place.
Retirement isn’t something we talk about often. Those nearing it speak of it with apprehension; those already in it think they finally are free to live their dreams. Whatever…everyone has a soft spot for an enriched ‘pullback’ life. But dwelling over it or over thinking only makes you miss take notice of the potential for joy and fulfillment that exists in the present. Contrarily, disregard it completely and someday you’ll land yourself in a pit full of regrets and missed chances to happiness.
Image source: ‘Don’t Hang Your Happiness On Others’ by Alex Fayle in possibilitychange.com
This might make you wonder. Is ‘Alone time’ really heavenly? Should you be so eagerly looking forward to that “solodowntime”; to have enough of free space and do just what makes you happy? Or would you rather be somewhere more quaint and peaceful to be able to do what you usually don’t do?
There are hundreds of memes doing the rounds on social media with people joking about how they’re coping with their changed lifestyle in a quiet and cloistered surrounding. This I think is an easily forsaken effort more to fill in time, relieve boredom, improve creativity, or sometimes have fun playing around with words and living through the day without being truly happy and contended.
What’s there To Make Your Day?
Have you figured out the things in life that truly make you happy? Have those things changed as you’ve gotten older?
I have not been lucky enough to have a regular remissions to spend more time hanging around with friends and family. I missed awesome zoos, quintessential museums, short ‘buck-up’ breaks, and trips on holidays or even something as simple as a quad pleasure ride. Baring a brisk wave to others, walking the dog or soaking up the beauty in gardens, life boringly oscillated between being work-bound and housebound.
I think perhaps a character in my story never could turn into the kind of maverick who knows how to reconnect to elements or even learn the skill to ‘be-happy make-happy’. I was in some way one of those few where being restricted is the norm!
Still…
The point was not lost on me. Prioritizing meaningful life over material wealth somehow changes the way you live out your life. Instead of judging things by what I expend on the basis of what I gain, I saw my endeavors as an investment in memories, relationships and personal fulfillment. I was beginning to realize that what I experience is far beyond the moment in value.
Let me put it this way.
If you love dining out, eating out at an upscale restaurant is not merely an expensive deal only. Neither it is an opportunity to explore the uncommon exotic food which it’s possible otherwise wouldn’t have happened to you. It’s incalculable worth gets caught in time. The priceless time spent together with loved ones creates unforgettable moments and wonderful memories to last you a lifetime.
I consider riches as means to enhance the quality of life rather than a treasure to be saved only to be passed down as an inheritance. Think about it; like your ‘Now‘ unused and leftover it adds little or no value to your happiness.
Image source: ‘100 Happiness Quotes To Lift Your Mood’ by Lindsay Lowe in parade.com
Why You Shouldn’t Postpone Your Happiness
I go for my daily walk every day. A short while ago, while ambling along I met several older people out either walking their dogs or sashaying around to stay energetic. They seemed all retired enjoying life indulging in simple things they fancied. In a rare moment of levity it made me think of all the meaningless inanity I had to endure at my work place. Was any of it worth anything? Did it hold any weight? Was it of consequence? Even when I didn’t know why, I could sense a kind of conventional wisdom whispering to me –“Sacrifice a bit of your present today for a little of better future tomorrow”. Was everything convincing enough to keep postponing my happiness and enjoyment indefinitely?
Nothing would make sense then and it all felt like madness.
I was being reminded of the old ‘I will be happy when…’ approach.
Or was I comforting myself using that phrase too often?
I looked closely. I had an elephant in my life that was not moving in either direction. I was all for the idea of setting a little of me aside for the future but probably had dithered to catch the wave.
“What lights me up. What I ought to do now to live a fulfilling life without waiting to be free. What is it that has played over and over in my life and seems to matter most?” For once I couldn’t forgive myself for being morbid for I had clearly let two seriously badass issues hold out on my happiness.
Will I make it to retirement?
I know it is not a nice thing to think of the inevitable but it is an unmistakable fact. For many making it to a much-promised paradise will end in dreams. See…we are tutored to avoid thinking about it but when I accepted the uncertainty, I quickly began to see the foolishness of putting off my mirth and happiness.
What if health fails me?
Imagine somebody who admires you walks into your home and hands you over a cheque worth all the money you would ever need. How’d you react? Would it be; “It’s Ok but I’d rather work hard to earn that kind of money”. Aren’t you postponing your happiness even when you’ve the chance only because you believe that you have to earn the right to be happy?
For many it’s difficult to choose to be happy this way. Downside? Your decision to wait until retirement when you’d have saved enough of ‘your own’ might end on delayed gratification where happiness keeps postponing to “someday”.
Checkmate your hesitation and make time for things that make you happy, because “Now” is the only time you have and none other is there for sure.
‘War’ is over if you want it
How many things you think you have put off for retirement?
Sure, life is busy and there’s never enough time of it for everything. But it’s seriously lame to think, “When I’m retired, I’ll have all the time in the World for myself. I will be free to get more out of life and plenty of time to do whatever pleases me”.
To an extent, you’re right. You will have a lot more time for yourself after you retire. And it’s good if that makes you look forward to a better life. But has it ever occurred to you why it could be in your best interests to make a start right now rather than wait?
Image source: ‘Why You Shouldn’t Delay Your Happiness’ by Diana in thewellnessexplorer.com
Reimagine retirement. Over the years you are in the habit of thinking about life the way you do and it’s unlikely to let go in a flash till you retire. The way to get over this tight spot is to stop being inert now in the belief that life isn’t great for now but will get better once you retire. This sadly is not going to happen. Start living your best right away and not wait for an unseen uncertain future.
Be it a fine dines experience, a spontaneous weekend getaway or a special event; make sure to be alive to the moments that offer emotional rewards. Sometimes you will have to push yourself when nothing else will fall your way. Still there’s nothing tricky or conflicting in trying. Life’s too short to miss out living even a second. The same stuff that makes for a great retirement you can use now to create a positive and fulfilling life that leads up to it.
It has worked as a wakeup call for me. I’ve learned to seize every opportunity I could to make the best out of my Present into a fulfilling tomorrow.
My take on this!
Someday when I look back I’ll be happy not questioning myself “What did I miss? Was it Ok to not wait until retirement to live a meaningful, purposeful and rewarding life? Haven’t I succeeded in finding a middle ground living for now versus later and met happiness half way?”
Image source: ‘World Environment Day 2020’ in timesnownews.com
Some of these mornings, as I wake up I sense a strange heaviness hanging around me. It’s unnatural, it’s weird -one that I can’t put into words. I’ve rested well and yet the world seems tired; the air has forgotten to feel fresh and the day loiters listlessly mocking in an unkind way. Maybe it’s just me; or is it the Earth whispering anxiously through the cracks that have ravaged her for a long period of time? What’s worse we have looked the other way for far too long turning a blind eye to her imploring cries.
Even so I find some amazing calming comfort in nature- long walks, sitting by a quaint patch of green watching sky burn itself out from clear sapphire to deep orange at dusk as the sun goes down. In those moments, I feel less alone. I love the descending silence as creepy crawlies gear up for night sojourn.
But lately I’ve noticed something unusual happening to real world outside. Trees are withering too soon. Birds are fewer and hardly twittering around. Bees, beetles and butterflies have all gone into hiding. Rivers are drying or swelling beyond their rhythm and seasons are so confused; one moment it’s roasting sunshine, the other it’s raining hard leaving every living soul squirming in fiery discomfort of sweltering heat. Every now and then the torridity turns soul destroyer; numbing, draining exhausting the familiar nature around us. It’s as if the world has forgotten to follow the script it’s been doing for eons.
And we keep asking more of her!
The Earth is Tired
Pretentious hunger of concrete reality, careless consumption, hostile plastic convenience and spiteful ways of easy travel, all maul the inhabitable air with tones of carbon footprints. Unmindful of her agony, every time we ask her to hold on to our fancies, adjust, absorb remain stay quiet and continue to be calm and serene as always. And all the while we continue to chase comfort in all the wrong ways for all the wrong reasons. Forests butchered, oceans stifled with trash and waste that we dump and mountains pillaged until they no longer stand proud; we have gotten used to taking what we fancy- without asking without giving back in return.
What’s more unsettling is that this planet still continues to hold space for our reckless mistakes and strangling plunder.
But for how long?
Does this mean that we have somehow missed the mark? Are we merely focusing on some deep science that largely does not make sense but hastily overlooks to connect with daily life? Confused, resisting and gloomy in outlook altogether the blame lies with us for bettering our lives without thinking twice about defacing and vandalizing our Planet.
The reason!
Calls to cut back on carbon footprints by going easy with fossil fuels or invoking stiff emission standards globally are largely unworkable and wild. Betraying growth this way seems unrealistic and fails to sell. Worse, no doable solutions are brewing and no achievable solution for fixing climate change has gained ground.
Image source: Ron Lach in pexels.com
The Weight of Being the Strong One
For all we know the Earth is getting tired, non renewables are depleting fast and climate change is real. But we don’t think it’s as urgent. It’s no surprise that alarmed cries invariably run aground. Considered as another out of touch elitist cause with no viable end tied up, this listlessness has not led to anything serious.
Personally my take on this is not that cheeky. I am many things but not a quitter. When it comes to a mindful existence I am inclined towards wind or solar over coal or gas but I’d care more for having a reliable energy source when I need it. The push for change is alright but not everybody can deal with long outages after storms, rough weather or murky no-sunshine days. Reliability outsmarts source when it comes to availability and service.
The real problem!
Our planet has reached its ‘tipping point’. It has exhausted all that it can give sustainably. Besides the climate story has either been told badly or it has fallen on deaf ears.
It’s time to face the reality or forget the ‘Tomorrow land’ of our imagination entirely. Truth may be lost for a while but bigger crises lurk in plain sight. Trillions spent on renewable have barely moved the needle on ‘global emergency’. Cold feet couldn’t cancel the hearty fake shows over ‘geo-engineering’. It’s time the screen writers and story tellers amid the ‘right-wing eco warriors’ figured out how skillfully they can cook a story that people would actually care about. Not the one that would only sell tickets to another “Grand Climate Show”!
Feature credit: ‘Nature Is Speaking’ by Conservation International in youtube.com
I am not saying that shift is easy to come. But it definitely begins with people like us. People who once danced in the rain as kids, who were supercharged in plantation drive at school and who at one time were convinced that this Planet was their only ‘Home’.
Perhaps we have forgotten to grieve ’the Earth’ fearing that doing so will make us responsible for all its woes. And in the process we have missed the point-‘Grief is where the healing begins’.
I still remember sitting quietly by the Periyar lake side one balmy winter morning. I was on a vacation to Kerala, down southwest to Thekkady exactly. A charming spice and tea paradise nestled in the foothills of Kannan Devan mountain ranges this is an epic destination unveiling breathtakingrainforests, enchanting spice gardens, wildlife and all that you’d imagine of Hills n’ Hues. All I wanted a little break from all the noises and humdrum of daily rut.
The water mirrored the sky so vividly that I couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. That moment I wasn’t thinking about the melting glaciers or shrinking rivers or shriveling verdant. I just sat there quietly. It felt good. The soft gentle breeze was tapping my shoulder urging to listen to the silence. In that quietness I think I heard the Earth speaking to me- not in anger but in sadness. “Why do you keep hurting those you love most?”
Image source: Chris G. in pexels.com
I love living on this planet. Do you? I love the burning gold sunsets, the earthy smell of first rain drops falling, the proud peaks of snow clad mountains wrapped in the clouds and the iridescent opulence of flowers that bloom without waiting to be applauded.
If we have been given with so much by her, then maybe it’s time we love her loudly and clearly. It’s about time we protect her from being destroyed and stand by her side when she is being gagged by profit. It’s time we mourn her losses like we mourn for our loved ones- not in words but in decisive action.
I know there’s no one solution for all her woes. But I know this for sure-Change will come when we begin to see this planet as ‘inseparable, indivisible and unseverable’ part of our existence; her exhaustion as our own and her collapse not a distant fear but a manifestation of our choices.
Image source: Luise del Rio in pexels.com
As I write this, I don’t have anything new to offer for a dramatic climate change. I just want to be part of the endeavor. I want to feel the change when it comes. I want to be responsible for the grief of what we’ve lost and what we’re losing. I want to believe that if we sit with this reckoning long enough, we might act — not out of fear but…
Has it ever occurred to you that love is not enough to make everything work all the time? Have you loved somebody where you felt you weren’t happy and yet you kept saying, “But I love you so deeply. Isn’t that enough?”When was the last time you were happy and felt accepted when around them or did you find yourself anxious, fidgeting and largely misunderstood?
Image source: Valeria Miller in pexels.com
Sometimes our relationships mimic our insecurities and reflect how we feel about ourselves. Not before long this self doubt influences our judgment and harshly imposes itself to upset the very core of a loving relationship. It then becomes hard to accept the love that comes our way and not the one we think we deserve.
As a rule some people are just a better match for us than others. They outsmart us in every possible way. Not always of course, not everybody. I’m someone who doesn’t like to talk much but connect on a deep, emotional level. Unfortunately, I’ve a habit of choosing people who are either incapable of keeping a secret or just don’t like to connect or bond deeply. So I always end up feeling alone and misunderstood.
There is nothing wrong with them. It’s just that I am not a good match.
I think everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to vulnerabilities. Some people crave for intense emotional intimacy; some do not. My parents were married for eighteen years till he passed away at 42. For most part and as far as I remember they were happy and content and an adorable couple.
Years later I wonder if there’s a way to live my true self as they did. I have no right to judge them but I guess that’s how they had agreed to go along with in the first place.
For me though, I want more and need more!
You Are Never Too Much
Do you crumble at life’s circumstances easily or do you come out stronger each time you hit a wall? When life brings something painful and seems to come apart, how you bounce back actually determines if you have been brave enough to take all the aches and pains in your stride. You can either react emotionally and escalate your misery or face it resolutely and grow through it.
When in difficult situations I’ve stayed hoping that some miracle of all miracles would somehow happen. I treasured telling myself “Shouldn’t that be enough?” Unfortunately it doesn’t happen that way. It never has and it never will. Just loving somebody is never enough. The drama that life brings is inevitable. Would you want to waste time and effort if it’s going nowhere?
So whether your relationship leaves you unsure when world around you goes bust or asks far too many answers; look for these tell tale signs before you settle down feeling alone and out of sorts. You might just get your answer.
Love’s no longer even handed
When life is not kind, do you tell your beloved something that’s important to you? What you get in return -a comforting response or a hasty retort? “I really need to spend quality time with you because it lessens my worries and calming,” Do these words make them cringe or empathetic? If you are not understood correctly or even don’t want to heard , then love has begun backsliding .You’ve never been right for each other. It was always about the tangible world only.
Love isn’t about good days only; it’s about staying together when life takes a beating. Otherwise…you’re in a lopsided relationship and you’ll never be fulfilled.
I remember the time I came home from an extremely stressful day and really needed to vent. To this day I couldn’t forget my spouse looking at me in shocked silence. I had never behaved the way I did that day. Eventually she snapped indignantly, ” I am not your girlfriend. If you want to talk like that call somebody else.” What could I have done with that? If she doesn’t want to talk to me or care about how my day went or that I’m stressed, where should I go?
It struck me later; ‘You do win some in love but you lose even more and the rest if any… slips out quietly’.
Do people want to know your real side?
It’s hard to guess when sand would begin slipping through the fingers. Who really wants to see their flip side? If it still happens you’ll be left at your wits end and an air of indifference would suck out whatever shred of love is left there. This is the time when you’re outside the comfort level of your vulnerability and crave for an intense emotional intimacy. You’ll have more of your past to deal with and won’t be able to a comeback from your darkest days.
Do you know why?
Image source: T. Leish in pexels.com
Love always goes on a back burner when some midlife crisis begins to burn you out in unsavory bursts. You no longer feel accepted and understood for all your quirkiness and irrationality. Clearly you need ‘more than you think and less than you want.’ If not then you are left perpetually dissatisfied and over the time love will probably erode itself away.
Honestly it’s all about a mindful existence where love alone doesn’t feed all the necessary elements for a positive outcome. Youmay love someone with everything you have got, be utterly smitten and it wouldn’t still be enough to build a stable relationship or walk you through hard times.
Living less frayed is always a better choice
When life takes a turn for worse it’s not unnatural people trying to put you down and make you feel like you can’t or won’t accomplish anything. Not loved or cherished by others, does your partner supports you or wears you down? For the most part your cheer leader needs to support and encourage you. But it doesn’t always happen the way you want. When drawn out for long, often love puts you down on the bench and make you feel you’re more trouble than it’s worth.
Life is not a whispered promise of sad losses only. It’s too short to be with someone who doesn’t believe in you. Choose ease over anguish. Your days should not be filled with angst, conflict or misery. Fix your side of the street and see if anything changes. If yes; you will get the chance to reinvent yourself. If not; you need to rethink- “Is my love not enough to bring home happiness again?”
Way out?
Rejig your life. Love them. Hate them. But you can’t ignore that you have a life to reshape as well. There are still better ways to do that than you’d have thought.
Truly these questions can the change the world for you. All you need is to keep asking yourself. Not once but over and over. Every month, every six months, every six years . “Is my life better with them in it? Or is being in love as unromantic as it sounds? Am I finally with someone who could knock me off my feet? Have I finally found the one that makes me feel complete?”
In as much as you love them and as much as you think they love you, if they can’t be one in thousand reasons to meet your needs, then you’re throwing away the precious moments you are left with.
There are way too many wonderful people out there, but that doesn’t make them the right ones for you. Just because you love them doesn’t mean you can be happy with them when life collapses.
Image source: ‘Why it’s Unrealistic to Expect a Forever Relationship’ by Jackie Pilossoph in divorcedgirlsmiling.com
Loving someone is a choice but living a meaningful life is not an everyday bet. Choose your happiness wisely and while doing so choose love rather than it choosing you.
It all began with what I saw in the bathroom mirror one dull summer morning. I had gently padded into the bathroom of my small apartment and casually checked my reflection in the mirror. The ‘three-ring-circus’ in my head was all chaos as I intuitively kept repeating the list of things to be done in the day over and over.
What I saw froze me in my steps. A chill swept through me.
Huh? What?
I couldn’t recognize myself.
I peered saucer-eyed at my image. My blood ran cold. “Oh, is this what I look like? No, that’s not me. Who’s that in the mirror?”
It was early August 2018. I was going to turn 60 in five months time. I would often remind myself; ‘it’s time to get familiar with retirement‘. For quite some time I’d been experiencing a weird sensation of clouds coming over me, mantling thoughts. There have been a few hiccups at the job. But that’s OK. It’s life. Good times do not prevail all the time. What mattered most was that I had climbed the rungs of success the hard way.
It’s been a long haul but a good one.
I had known all along what was coming but wasn’t ready to give up so soon. My mind had begun to stall like an engine that was becoming increasingly hard to turn over.
I had no issues with mirrors, but there was no ignoring that something important had happened.
But to not recognize my own face! To me this was the “drop-dead moment”; I had to accept the terrible truth. I wasn’t just seeing the twitches of aging but the early fumes of fraying at the edges. Clearly I was losing my mojo.
Fortunately, I was still my boss. I told myself, “Enough of that; you’re nuts if you’re seriously thinking of quitting. Tell me what you’re up to.”
So far I was persisting, in control of my life. The silent attack on my spirit had not yet hit in full force. But what about next week ? Next month? Next year? The dread of missing out on euphoria would always be there. And the year after. And forever. There weren’t any easy parts. The unease was nicking away, its progress messy and unpredictable.
“This beginning is purgatory,” I said to myself one day. “It’s kind of a grace period. I need not wait for something to happen. Something I don’t want to. It’ll be like a before-hell purgatory if I let it continue”.
It was at that moment I realized that it’s time to ditch quick fixes I had been relying on. Getting started seemed daunting at first. However, the thought that soon I’ll be energized enough to keep going was encouraging. “It’s time to recap and look for a happier, healthier and more productive lifestyle”.
Clearly,I was being stern to myself.
So I did what felt right then. I listened to my heart and pursued…
Image source: ’10 Powerful Prayer Quotes to Strengthen Your Spiritual Journey’ inthefreespiritjournal.com
To do something meaningful each day.
“What was that I was passionate about? Do I have something special in me that need to be practiced more often or shared with others? Is there something that I enjoy doing every day, even if it’s something as simple as cooking a meal or listening to my favorite song?“ I’d often search myself.
Soon enough I realized that it’s way easy to complicate life despite your best intentions. So why not de-clutter it and reduce to essentials only. I needed to simplify my life to thrive.
Not before long it began to make sense. Everything had started falling into place.
All questions answered I finally figured it out.
Putting effort into the things that matter most will make it easier to use and reserve my energy in ways that will bring out the best in me. I needed to keep and practice a compassionate mindset –something that’s often referred to as ‘kind attention’.Till now I’ve been knocking myself around trying to make eye contact with a stranger and smile, while secretly thinking “I wish you well”. I would choke whenever I tried coming out loud. Unintentionally I was keeping away from judging people and in the process fleeing from placing judgment on myself. Luckily I was saved from the kind of deflating self talk that usually saps away your spirit and weighs you down heavily.
Once having tweaked self inflicting complacency I began to feel better with each step I took towards a reinvented thoughtfulness. Next I also learned to tend only good thoughts for others. For once I felt unburdened to learn all the things and master everything.
To evolve gently and turn slowly
Rhythms and routines light me up. I always had a penchant for charting my own course and everything else that comes with it. But I’m a messy person in many ways. Emotional, deeply sensitive, with a tendency to be reactive I simply love to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Still, sloppiness is generally untidy and doesn’t blend well with simplicity. Sometimes I would want to run away, hide or ignore everything. It troubled me that I was only contributing to the noise. I felt scattered and unmotivated. Worst of all, I had this feeling that I was trying to walk in a pair of shoes two sizes too big.
Once aware of what was crippling my energy and obstructing my resolve, I chose to follow the lane that felt important and sensible rather than tackling everything at once.
For instance, since my home in disarray was a big source of daily stress, I chose to pick one cabinet, closet or drawer to clear out each week instead of overwhelming myself with doing it all at once. I’d then move on to my next goal when I felt ready.
I was finally taking advantage of my moments by prioritizing important tasks. I was already feeling fresh and jazzed up.
To do something If I Didn’t like What I See
Arguably often systemic barriers make it difficult to make radical change in a person’s lifestyle. Work place regulations, an aggressive litigation environment or social convention –all can create hurdles to a shift. All that and more …even when we see people taking to streets to rubbish them. But being very few and isolated, nothing changes easily. In fact to solve the problem requires another level of effort.
To get out of complacency, you need to be motivated enough to rally in the action. I’m not suggesting anything more except a more reasoned response to injustice around you.
More important Don’t Give Up. Your level of “stick-to-itiveness” is the only yardstick to assess your success, For a long time I also held on to this value doing nothing much about it. But lately I’ve begun using it to dig my heels and stay put where it wins the most for me.
Image source: ‘5 Proven Ways to Create a Happy, Fulfilling Life; by Kulraj Singh in tinybuddha.com
It makes sense to sit on the couch and keep doing what you are doing today. But what does that brings tomorrow? Often I ask myself. Too many years have gone by and too many opportunities have passed. Why did I never spend time traveling the world? Why haven’t I ever read the most celebrated works of all time? Why did I not pursue my passions with fervor? Why did I not stay connected with old relationships?
Was I afraid or did I dare not get out of the bubble?
It’s easy to get cozy and watch Netflix on a weekend instead of going outside and exploring new things. With apps that deliver food, groceries, laundry, entertainment, and everything in between, nobody would take trouble of leaving the house. But by doing so, you miss new experiences, opinions, and interactions that would help shape your perspectives.
So ask yourself what you want.
Plan your unspent life. What you want from it and push yourself to make it happen. Build toward the future you want. Hitches and hurdles will get in the way but set your intentions straight and you will not be the one to miss out on 100% of the opportunities that you never took.
Besides don’t hold back in searching yourself for what you need to stay sparkling and sunny. The worst that can happen is a “No” which is any case better than regret of the unknown.
Above allnever think of slowing down to near stop.
Image source: ‘RI Leaders React To Texas Shooting: McKee Calls For Assault Weapon Ban’ in patch.com
As I dig into the past, simple sweet smell of savory snacks tiffin box from school days is the first thing that comes flooding back. It has the air of a long forgotten shaggy-dog story about days gone forever. I look back and they are still there –clear as open sky, unmissable and hankering to be relived one more time. For some reason my recollection would grow into lengthy stories and that’s the time I love having partnered them. “Amma, would you please put more food in my tiffin?”… the sweet chirpy imploring plea of a 5 year old echoes back clearly with many faces.
I still have it in my mind so vividly.
Come January and it would be all about small toys and tiny anchors to keep my days steady. Birthday’s coming! I’d prance around joyfully. Life then, I think was about being slow and simple. The kinda days that ask us to take our time. It’d be dark by 6.00 PM and I’d be in bed by 8.00, if I manage to get away with it. Everything was uncomplicated and elementary. The world felt uncluttered, quiet and naive. It would though pick up soon enough but I disliked having to rush. Not grown up enough to think straight, I believe I had made up my mind even then.
I’d let the time do the work.
Life was shaping up simple and steady- much like an overnight rising dough, a long roast, a slow simmer. I was inching towards brighter days!
Today what I see in my mind’s eye as I sit quietly under a tree in the park is a little kid of 5 indulging life so dearly that I fervently long to reach out and relive my salad days one more time before I die. The thought endures but I know time is absolute and irreversible.
I’m still hoping to find a few things that I didn’t know I needed as I grope around in my memories.
The Joy of Learning
It was so enlivening to spend time together with classmates. We would laugh together. We would play together and would enjoy tiffin together. Our hearts were on small things and moments that would bring immeasurable thrill and boundless happiness. Maybe life was leading us to a deeper appreciation of our everyday lives and the ways in which we would someday find everlasting happiness. It’s another story that we understood little or nothing of those complex subtleties and finer points of a buoyant life. Then, it was simple and easy- ‘freak out and live a carefree day’. It was as though “you’re being given a lovely warm hug each day without knowing why”.
Tiffin featured large in my own world of joy in small things then. My small irresistible ‘bento box‘ would easily accommodate two decent size parathas a small helping of fried potatoes and occasionally a piece of homespun sweet to brighten up my spread. The fragrant aroma of fried cumin seeds and fresh coriander would invade my nostrils even before I’d unboxed it and stoke my hunger as I greedily reach out for a morsel. First two bites would help me wake up straight and get me restarted for the rest of the day. Nothing would now put off the glee and the joy that would stay with me past noon. Belly full, I’ll be lighthearted and playful.
In my mind I rather waited anxiously for the recess bell.
This ‘feast‘ though doesn’t have to be everyday thing. Anything from sumptuous sandwiches to bread pancakes and veg biryani to veg rajma wrap, ma never ceased to surprise me. I guess the only way she wanted to be there with her child in school was through the lunch box. She would make different things each day and also leave small note inside the tiffin saying how much she loved me.
Today I can fully understand this sentiment of every mother who wishes to connect with her child and brighten their day while they are away at school.
Sometimes it vaguely felt as though I was going to bed in a bed with newly changed sheets and pillowcases smelling clean and fresh and well tucked in. Waking up next morning and realizing that here is another day, and I can still get out of bed under my own steam.
What would have been more joyful? Life was treating me well.
Image source: ‘Out of the box: Healthy eating is now part of school lunchrooms’ by Rhythma Kaul and Alifiya Poonawala in hindustantimes.com.
It was lovely to explore new day every time and be fed easily with another bounty of magical joy.
No, she never was a chef-mommy. I think she hardly knew what it meant. Except that she had sensed that she needed to be creative. She would invest her ideas in a small compartmentalized tiffin box, where in one box you pack various things like fruits, dry fruits and savory items in another making your child feel tempted to eat. The advantage was that since she couldn’t pack too much of one thing in the box, she tried small share of everything. She wanted her child to feel satiated with small portion and get to eat a little of everything with variety of stuff. My regular fill in the different spaces were fruits, dry fruits, veggies while the bigger one was for the main meal like parathas sabzi or idli chutney.
The Lasting Impact of my 4th Grade life
When life gets small and time rushes past, often our pleasures dry up. But it is in the smallness of things we get the chance to compress our thoughts, to discover the true happiness that make a life well-lived.
Yeah…simple pleasures and small joys of magical childhood days are not there to last a lifetime. Time then seems to stretch on forever but is never meant to keep company all the time. In a whisper it disappears but lives on in our memories.
It is lovely to go out and meet new experiences and what a joy it is to come back to your own home with everything in its right place in bathroom, kitchen and bedroom. You know where everything is without having to think about it. Yeah…it’s commonplace. From slow sweet mornings, dawdling afternoons or noisy evenings where you don’t know how things will end, you try to keep things pretty buttoned up. This has to be done. That needs to be finished. Life is small and tight. People have to be cared for. Work has to be accomplished. And the rest…
In between do you get to reach out to the child in you, reconnect with your playful side, embrace or tap into your childlike wonders? Have you tried to lay a hand on the most delightful time of your life and may be help it grow and thrive?
Image source: healthline.com
Life’s been alright to me. It hangs around like Okay only to not be Okay. On return each day I look around but couldn’t find my ‘Bento’ to hitch me a ride back to simple good o’l joys of childhood and a glimpse into my 4th grade days.
It’s nowhere to be found.
I guess…Happiness is still trying to give me a slip!
Sometimes it happens. Everything in your daily life just goes crazy. Every little thing you try simply drifts off. You’re passed over for an important assignment. Your back aches. Your zipper breaks. Your dog keeps throwing up. You’re freaking out and wonder if your life is always taking a turn for the worse. You aren’t superstitious, but these knock outs push you to troubleshoot—“Am I just an unlucky person? Why is it that I can never catch a break?”
I myself have felt this way at one time. While reclaiming my beliefs I learned to understand ‘why we believe in luck’; ‘how can I rein in my belief and make real changes in my attitude toward life that will help me feel less “unlucky.”
Not everybody would buy this thought though. For many luck is the most useful yet vulnerable idea that makes sense of random chance and the ‘unexplainable’ acceptable. If you stumble upon a $100 bill on the ground, you will think you have good luck. But if a gust of wind blows away your $ 100 bill just as you pull it out of your wallet, you’ll think of it as you’re having bad luck!
Is Luck chance or happenstance?
Some of us are born lucky; they say. Everything they touch turns to gold. Others are incessantly stalked by misfortune. But it’s not only just the people who get to be lucky or otherwise; it can be an action as well. The ball hits the post in soccer and everybody jump to lament- ‘the striker was unlucky’. Luck or not, I’d say the pool shot was lucky but did not rely on skill. It was unexpected or even improbable and happened possibly due to a series of fortunate bounces!
Does any of this make sense? Is there really such a thing as ‘luck’? Do some have more of it than others?
I guess there is a perfectly reasonable way to draw some sense when we talk about luck. In fact I think there is no such thing as luck. It’s only a matter of cause and effect where the outcome is the result of certain actions and circumstances, not some random chance. So rather to talk about luck isn’t it better to talk about how to make things happen easily?
Does this mean that no-one has luck? Not for sure, but we can’t truly say of someone to be lucky except that they are the kind of person to whom lucky things happen.
Image source: ‘Manifesting Your Reality: Power of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy’ in happyproject.in
It’s complicated but you can do it
In hopes of brightening my perspective on ‘luck’ over time I have uncovered three main characteristics that people who consider themselves lucky have in common. They ‘listen to their intuition, ‘create reality through self-belief’ and ‘have a resilient attitude’ that transforms ‘bad luck’ into a good one.
Surprisingly, it is the psychological behavior that determines the luck a person could think of experiencing. People who believe lucky things happen to them all the time, tend to fare better than people who feel unlucky. They know how to bounce back while the unlucky ones are inclined to give up easily to failures.
So if luck is based on psychological behavior, can you change yours?
It’s hard to believe but ‘You absolutely can!’
Make it happen in real life
Start by making small changes in your everyday routine. Trivial pursuits like penning a thank-you note and how you felt lucky at the end of a day is a smart move. You can also change something as simple as taking a different route to work or while running errands. Even the shows you watch on TV, once dropped or changed can create new mindset. To all intents and purposes luck is what happens when arrangement meets opportunity.
Another simple way is to be a flexible thinker and evolve an equally flexible approach to life. Once disposed, you’ll be more open to opportunities when they come along. Simple but impactful, these small things know how to make change happen for the better. Your World will become bigger and larger and you’ll get more breaks. You’ll know where you’re headed and be ready to change the course depending on how the wind blows.
Expect good fortune for you’ll be able to turn an awful experience to a good one. It’s highly unlikely that bad things will come your way. If for some reason you do hit a roadblock, comfort yourself, “Okay, this could have been worse,” rather than “It could have been better”.
Oddly enough this may affect your future luck as well. If you feel better about an event, then you’re likely to have better expectations about future experiences and maybe your luck will change.
Image source: ‘People who are regularly “lucky in life” usually display these 9 behaviors’ by Mia Zhang in hackspirit.com
Meanwhile you can shift your focus toward the positives. Each night before you hit the sack spend at least 30 seconds writing down a positive thing that’s happened in your day; a sense of gratitude for friend or family or perhaps a health issue. Even a negative thing that’s no longer happening should not go unnoticed.
You also need to take the long view. Breaking your leg might be a setback for now, but if you happen to meet your prospective beau in the hospital, it could end up as a very fortuitous event.
What’s more, don’t let yourself be stalled by a stereotyped behavior. Take a different route when walking, when watching TV or when talking to different people. Even petty changes have a knack for upturns.
And then keep your eyes open. Stay alive. Be prepared to grab whatever opportunities come your way.
Image source: ‘These 8 Time-Tested Methods Will Boost Your Luck’ by Sandra Grauschopf in liveabout.com
Nonetheless, what you can’t expect is for good fortune to magically come your way without effort. Luck is a very big part of our personality. It isn’t easily influenced and malleable until you do something quite concrete about it.
To be “in luck” you need to have a broader focus. Following that you’re more likely to encounter chance opportunities before good things start happening.
Despite everything if you still don’t consider yourself lucky enough, ‘You’re in luck because you have it in your power to change‘.
Aren’t we all always looking for ways to be happier even when often we only have odd and ends of uncertainty to contend with? Of course, it’s not easy but not impossible either if you know how to get there.
Image source: ‘How to Cope with Emotional and Psychological Trauma’ by Julia Schwab in juliaschwabtherapy.com
The biggest misbelief is that happiness comes naturally. Honestly that’s not the whole truth. Our subconscious is ‘built to protect’ and ‘persist strongly’ as far as possible. But strictly speaking, we are not hunters or gatherers in an unpredictable wild World. It’s Ok if our thoughts naturally drift to fear and anxiety in moments of stress. In fact almost every sad and difficult gut feeling that keeps pulling us down arises from our repressed mind. Many a times we struggle to live in the midst of this surreal nightmare unaware that these impulses can be thwarted. All it needs is some conscious effort to refix the brain that has a tendency to go face down if a sore moment hurts badly.
These four easy ways, nonetheless can help you overcome grief and return to delights of happiness.
There is Always another Way to Happiness:
There’s nothing unusual if our unconscious mind triggers knee jerk reactions to downturn situations like sadness and loneliness. It’s Ok if your conscious mind takes longer than usual to ‘make sense of everything coming our way’ perspective. When we become aware of the level of our consciousness, everything far and wide rallies to tell us what’s coming up next and what conscious choices we can make to live in the current moment.
By being aware that you have a conscious and an unconscious mind to reckon with, you can bring a huge difference in your life as it gives you the power to decide which one you’ll choose to listen to.
Deepen Your Insight
It’s nothing short of being aware of oneself and showcasing it.
For instance, if you find yourself constantly shifting to a negative thought over something as trivial as your ability to do well in your job, try to find out when was the first time you were as uncomfortable and felt as incapable. It’s somewhat like being diagnosed with severe dyslexia and then experiencing an intense urge to prove to others that you aren’t lagging behind.
Once you do that it will not be difficult to know where those feelings are stemming from. Let them pass or else don’t resist the flow of things. Just stay on course and pieces will fall into place.
Let me say this differently. On one hand, I can compliment myself, thank my efforts and claim to be the most successful person I know. On the other I couldn’t be more unhappy saying to myself, “I’m not enough”. I can sleep over it and let woes multiply. But once I know exactly where that comes from I can put that in perspective.
I don’t really have to live there!
Image source: ‘Understanding Mood’ in Understanding Mood in dana.org
Sometimes it’s Ok to let go and move on
When emotions run high there’s not a whole lot that we can do about it. But ruminating is one easy way to discover where that indifference is flowing from. Once you let it pass, you’ll know what’s coming up next.
Imagine of it like this. You’re at a railroad station for an upcoming journey and there’s a train approaching. It’s the unconscious that keeps pulling you down, “You’re reasons for this trip are not enough. In fact they’re not good enough”. You can either step onto the train, or be stranded at the station for hours, weeks, months, years. Alternately you can say “Not just yet, not now. I’m not stepping on this train today.”
Setting these unconscious thoughts free while being mindful of your actions, will help you slow down and make mindful choice.
Living with your moment is a powerful approach to life as it encourages you to fully embrace your ongoing experiences without distraction or regret.
Trust the outcome
No one ever wants to suffer. Everybody yearns to be happy always. Aren’t these the two most coveted basic desires of all of us? Who wants to wake up and hope for a truckload of suffering? … I don’t think so. In as much we want to be happy, we hate sufferings no less. But sometimes we relentlessly hold onto our upsets and aches.
One reason is that we are often thoughtful without control — frustrated thoughts, lonely thoughts, worried thoughts, jealous thoughts, depressed thoughts. We don’t particularly want to think of them but we can’t help it and that leaves us unhappy. Learn to rid yourself of these unwanted pensive thoughts. If not that, fence yourself off and look the other way.
Once free, you’ll do just fine.
Image source: ‘When Mom Is Emotionally Unstable. Seven Ways To Heal.’ by Dr. Margaret in drmargaretrutherford.com
Let yourself be unhappy.
When we’re in grief or hurt, all we want is to get away from it. But that’s as hard to come by. We can’t ignore it, pretend we’re fine, be comfortable with ourselves or lash out in defensiveness. We can’t just distance ourselves. In as much as we know that these are typical human response to challenge our reverses, we hardly do anything to take the edge off.. In fact wanting to get away from the unhappiness doesn’t make it any better. It only prolongs the suffering and sometimes worsens it. Instead, tell yourself it’s Ok to feel wretched and sore sometimes. It’s Ok to be miserable and hurt every so often.
Wind down a little and allow yourself to be overwhelmed by that murky sinking gloominess. Tell yourself it’s Ok to be mortified.
Being curious of it’s A to Z all the while though, is a helpful recourse to tide over your setbacks. You can stay clear of all witch hunting hoping for its end.
Don’t want to buy this? Try at least to be intimate with it. It’s not pleasant but it can’t kill you either. This way the end will be in sight sooner.
In fact, it’s where the healing starts and growth happens.
Image source: peakpx.com
There are times when search for happiness ends in the harshest conditions. Such individuals amaze and inspire me. When Nina Riggs (of ’Bright Hour’ fame) was diagnosed with an incurable cancer, she knew her end was near and was well aware that she’ll be leaving her two young sons behind. Before she left at age 39, she could tell her husband, “I have to love these days in the same way I love any other.”
When we wait for something to happen naturally so that we could scour for happiness easily, we stay unassertive towards our own well-being. We fail to recognize that it’s our thoughts that make our World and we alone are responsible for our happiness.
“Words, once spat out, can not be swallowed back.” Your every word has an impact and every bump stirs a reaction. Sometimes when you’re conveying the right thing, the way you speak and the tone you use can hurt others badly. So much so, they will never want to see you let alone talk to you again. The intent may be right, but the tone of your voice makes it unbearable to listen or speak. It simply means you need to watch out for what you speak.
I still remember, as a kid I was constantly reminded to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ at appropriate moment. I was taught to share and care for others. I was schooled to be polite and benevolent, indulgent and well mannered. Unfortunately there were times when this oddity would fail me. Every trick and trait I had picked up would simply go out of the window. Not always, but sometimes, Yes!
All through my formative years it looked like I couldn’t deliver a prompt comeback during arguments or crucial conversations. Moments later, I’d replay everything in my mind hastily trying to craft an elaborate response that would put the other person right in their place.
But at cross roads, harsh words would blow off my steam.
Woefully, the “opportunity” to reclaim the lost comeliness never arrived. I always felt left alone, weak and inferior as if I’d lost a battle I should have won. What I didn’t see was the incredible gift of patience and self-control I was blessed with.
Life had begun challenging me. I had to put in more effort into saying the right things at the right time. I was careful to leave unsaid the wrong things at the most tempting moments.
There are countless reasons why we at times are unmindful of our manners. A bad day perhaps, colleagues, teacher, spouse, siblings, or things did not go the way we wanted them to. For whatever reason, sometimes we are mean and unkind with words and hurt those around us.
So, are you mindful of your words or is tongue lashing Ok with you? Do you think twice before they start betraying you? How do you keep our cheeky tongue in check!
Here are five easy tips to keep in mind when conversing- be it at work, with friends, or with family- to help save your day.
Speak your heart not your mind
As I grew up, I felt I was being counseled befittingly. “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I was taught when to hold my tongue and be polite. It made me falter in making a point or create a change. Sometimes when I say nothing at all, I would get walked on.
Today though, “not saying anything at all” fails to influence others.
On the other hand, those who dare to “speak their mind” are looked on with favor. The problem is that sometimes it comes sans any iota of empathy. And that causes more harm than good.
Is there a way to find the balance between saying nothing and getting walked on, and saying something and being a jerk?
The middle ground I guess is where the heart is. Instead of speaking your mind, speak your heart because it’s always able to find the best way. It tells you when to say something and when to hold back. It knows what to say so that you don’t get walked on. It knows whether to say something at all so that you don’t walk on others.
Besides it saves you all the arrogance, haughtiness, aggression, hostility, defensiveness. And it takes you down the highest though not necessarily the easiest road.
Image source: ‘Feeding your brain with food and beyond’ in healthydigz.com
Put simply don’t speak your mind. Speak your heart. You’ll prevail.
Sometimes it’s Ok to Step back a li’l
I know “let’s take a step back and think over …” is very colloquial and not many would agree to it. Still backing off a little for a while harms nobody. It only allows you to think over and come out in a calm and reasonable way. Pulling back is only a metaphorical step back. It tells you when to stop. It implores you to think about what you’re about to speak and weigh your options before you say anything.
When you are upset and had a bad day, pause and distance yourself from a situation so as to have a new perspective. Take a step back when you are about to go all guns blazing at anyone or everyone who seems to be irking you for no reason. Trust me you’ll be more unbiased and less emotionally involved. Split-second outburst is notorious for causing more damage than a 2-minute break from tongue wagging.
And yes, the implication is that the other person also gets the chance to view the situation in a new or better way,
Image source: ‘Order Of Man Podcast’ in orderofman.com
Stand your ground stoutly but calmly
To be outspoken, insistent and pushy is a simple but less-used trait of many. Assertiveness is all about knowing how to treat others while standing up for your conviction. This means nothing less than giving respect to others they deserve while holding on to your own.
Being persuasive also enables us to stand up for others when needed and when to say ‘No’. But there’s a marked difference between being feisty and behaving offensive. This is the line you need to watch out for. Be aware when to stand your ground and when to apologize if you think you’ve fallen through.
Never put someone down.
As a kid, I would get a buzz out of teasing my pals at school. I’d love to make fun to the point where sometimes I guess it was cruel. Intentional or not, I did hurt my play mates. Not that I was anywhere near then to knowing to what I’d done. But certainly this was not something noble to be endured.
An unkind word or an unruly act can scar for life. A simple reflection on someone’s stature or skin color sounds harmless. But it can damage the identity of the person to whom these comments are aimed.
Image source: ; Mind Your Tongue’ by Ignatius Deepak Stanley in artofhowto.com
Replace perverse words with pleasant ones. Hurtful words have long life and verbal insults are like mini slaps. So, you’ll do well if you remember this; It is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice.
Trust me, you won’t ever fall flat.
Don’t judge. Live the moment.
Every so often don’t we forget to take notice and respect the feelings of others especially when upset or in haste? Being mindful helps to mellow the harsh reality of the moment and shows others the respect they deserve.
Stay grounded and respectful and this will be your gentle way to make sure that others don’t get hurt just as quickly as you.
Image source: ‘6 Essential Problem-Solving Skills You Need’ in online.edhec.edu
Over the years I’ve learned to stand back from delicate and thorny situations altogether. I’m determined to set aside exposition of my opinion for good. I have made many mistakes but I’ve also understood to change the way I speak and I don’t think I have ever hurt anybody since then. I guess a wrong remark always leaves a horrible mark. It’s better to bite your tongue than to say something that you’ll regret later.
So, be careful to care and save yourself from a reign of rash, rude words and all that that ends in a reckless ruin.
“Everyone makes mistakes, so no one person is better than the other.”
No hard guesswork; this assertion would certainly raise eyebrows. While you may get on with it, there are few who would rather mock it straightaway. And understandably so; if Abraham Lincoln or Joseph Stalin could stumble and screw up sometimes in life, clearly not all slip ups are equal.
This sounds intuitive on the surface since there is no rust colored fire escape ladder or wrought iron curly cues to help. But surprisingly there is multitude of instances where we simply miss the actual picture. Eliezer Yudkowsky- best remembered for popularizing ideas related to friendly artificial intelligence, is just as cautious when elaborating; “Everything is shades of gray, but there are shades of gray so light as to be nearly white and shades of gray so dark as to be very nearly black. Or even if not, we can still compare shades and say “it’s darker or it’s lighter”.
To me it measures the same way; like all imperfections are not equal and all uncertainties are different. While it’s not easy to embrace uncertainty, the important thing is what we choose to do with it. Who wouldn’t want to go all out to ease it, knowing that it will never be entirely gone? Except that this would determine what shade of gray you really are in as nothing is as black, white or evenly gray as you’d want it to be.
Asserting that “I don’t know a shit” or “I don’t give a damn” is something that everybody readily accepts and would easily dismiss your imperfections. But there’s a difference between someone who fails to prove why Earth is flat and someone who falls through in proving the string theory that describes the universe as made up of tiny vibrating threads. Smaller than atoms, electrons, or quarks when these strands vibrate, twist and fold, they create matter, energy, and other phenomena like electromagnetism and gravity.
In any case both would throw up their hands in uncertainty though may secretly hand on to a cocky certainty.
Image source: ‘Your silence will not protect you’ by Audre Lorde in the feministbookshop.com
For the most part we live in a world where nothing is certain; we cannot hope to be more correct –only less wrong. It’s kinda default setting where nothing is fully comprehensible. Nonetheless if you could comprehend why nothing is ever black or white, then that’s a great start. But the real shift happens only when you begin to view the world through infinite shades of color.
It’s a difficult road but promises a beautiful destination!
How strange is life, isn’t it? The darkness of the night always relents and makes way for the light of the day time after time. Likewise our endurance never fails to end our labor into fruition. It’s a blissful absurdity but is conclusive to co existing with Nature. I do not freak out easily but I know one thing for sure –there is no perfect way to live your life in a well laid down manner. Our lives are not novels that need to confine to a well defined sequence of chapters. Rather it’s a collection of stories that behold different plots unfettered- in a single you.
I have always felt fragile yet confident in my dealings. My heart could feel the pain of loss and my soul would flourish with happiness when excited. And my mind would eagerly build on rhythms of life that stir and influence my actions. Sometimes things won’t turn out the way I‘d want them to but would often end up in something more beautiful than I could have imagined.
Don’t we all shed every ounce of ourselves to grow into the kind of person that we think we are meant to be? I have always believed in all the versions of me that I’m fated to co-exist with. The most vivid part is that it has helped me to live a happy life even when wading in unknown. I have learned to live in harmony in a world that continues to evolve around me. I guess there is no single identity that I need to hang onto to be sufficient for everybody around me.
Image source: pexels.com
When I was younger I wouldn’t stop dreaming of the day when I’d be recognized as a successful writer and my stories being read somewhere one day. Years later today as I look back, I face the younger version of me that had dreamed of his work being recognized and featured. I feel warm and grateful and treasure this vision dearly. It gives me the hope and the strength to continue to desire and work hard and softly breathe my wishes to the world around me.
I am the story that has run into unfinished streams of failure, courage, hope and strength. I’m the eye that beholds infinite dreams. I’m the ambition that yearns for more and has set its heart on living on cloud nine.
It gets complicated sometimes, right? Honestly aren’t we the ones who allow it snowball into a clutter in no time. We hang on to stuff that makes our lives more complex than it need to be. It’s a pity that we couldn’t resist making mountain out of mole hills and it’s only a matter of time before everything starts withering on the vine.
Living a happy life is not only about doing away with the physical clutter or spiteful thoughts; it’s more about learning how not to let them rob you of your joy.
The other day I asked my neighbors how they would like to improve their lives. As expected, they said they’d want to become happier. I felt fine. “Same old, same old”! Who wouldn’t want to? Many though wouldn’t know exactly how to go about it.
Becoming a happier person is a personal journey but it can be influenced and steered to a plus size life with a little care. Wanting a little more of it is beguiling and there is nothing wrong to fancy a slice of it. Fair enough if you too are driven plentifully to go after it than stay buried in the weeds!
Sounds not possible? But trust me; it’s easier to quieten that inner critic than you think and jazzing up your ‘dear life’ even more.
So, let’s get into this.
My woes my ‘worry time’
I know, it sounds freaky and unreasonable. Why would you need to set aside some time for your worries when you should actually be doing just the opposite; ignoring all that upsets you or over-thinking?
A few years back, I was in a constant state of worry. My mind was being constantly rapped by a whirlpool of “what ifs”. It was exhausting!
This is when I bumped into this idea of setting aside some ‘worry time’to deal with everything and anything that bothers me. It was as simple and unsophisticated. Instead of letting my worries keep raking my mind the entire day; I’d choose ‘my time’ to deal with it. Unsure of any other fix, I jumped for it. For half an hour each morning between 6:00 and 6:30 I’d take time off to do nothing else but worry. And…It worked!
By containing my worries to a specific half-hour window to deal with them, I’d set my mind free for the rest of the day. The nagging was there and didn’t vanish completely but felt less intrusive. For once again, I was in control of my thoughts than being controlled by them,
If you feel that your worries keep crippling your day and pull down your happiness, take a shot at it. You may find it just as liberating in the end!
You’d luv to stay connected
Like they say we humans are sociable and thrive on connection and interaction with others. But once off the track and reclusive, it’s easy to get scatterbrained. Staying connected with friends and family gives us a chance to express our thoughts and feelings and gain insights about things that we may have overlooked earlier.
Do I mean to say that you need to be surrounded by people 24/7? Nope! No way. A simple phone call, text message, or a casual stroll with an acquaintance is good enough to break you free from deep thinking.
I never thought it lame to ask for help or share what I was going through. ‘Not Ok’ at first sight and I’d remind myself, “I’m not alone in this”. I’d then find me gutsy enough to reach out to others.
Trying this might just as well help you get the comfort and clarity you’ve been looking for… without losing control of yourself!
It’s Ok to mess up sometimes
Sometimes I wish for a wishbone. Perhaps life wouldn’t be so imperfect and flawed then. I wouldn’t let it! I would have it cracked evenly in half and my quest for happiness would end there and then. But that’s not going to happen. Like everybody else I too have my moments of doubts and fears. I just couldn’t turn off my inner critic, smile and laugh.
Life hurts!
Lately I guess, I had been rather harsh on myself; only to add to my stress level. Unable to pull out and move ahead, I decided to let myself feel what I feel, learn to accept myself wholeheartedly and allow myself not to be the best that’s humanly possible but rather to do the best that I can.
And guess what! It worked out well. I could now talk to my inner child, forgive myself for past mistakes, laugh to my heart, knowing that I am enough for me. For once, I could try some intuitive eating and wear comfortable shoes. Geez…my feet ached so badly!
So, next time you find yourself in a tough spot with zero options, don’t be hard on you; find your ‘yes’. It will help you build in some margin as you go ahead. Stop pushing by slowing down. You’re not sitting on a powder keg! It’s all right to have moments like this.
Besides you deserve kindness…especially from yourself.
Image source: pexels.com
Drop it; It doesn’t matter
A few years back I had found myself stuck up with a past mistake that I’d made while at work. It wasn’t much but I just couldn’t move past it. I was mortified and scared of the consequences. It kept ballooning in my judgment till it was colossal! At one point it was like a nasty screenplay on auto run. I was busy all through the day dissecting every detail, every reaction. I was worked up and in a perpetual state of nerves!
All I needed was to somehow loosen my hold on me and let it go as a bad dream. Overselling the same thought was not going to alter what had already happened. I needed was to learn and grow from my experience of the past.
Clutching at my heart I braced myself to take a plunge hoping that this is how I could put an end to my anxiety and perhaps fix my self-censoring mind. Trust me, it turned out well! My doggedness was back, my wits were free and I was finally …de-stressed.
When we hold on to past mistakes or worry about what comes next, we let ourselves be robbed of the joy in the present moment.
Today, I could forgive myself for all the fumbles and stumbles and use them as a learning experience rather than a source of constant stress making my world a whole lot steady and calm. I consider my ‘misses’ as a chance to grow and not as an anchor holding me back. I tag them as a sweet but powerful way to stop beating a dead horse and being happy.
I know it’s hard to learn to distance yourself from ‘cold and creepy’ miseries but with a little practice it gets easier to reach out, connect and stay in touch with your present moment.
Personally I think that the secret to a happy life isn’t in having all the answers or avoiding mistakes. It’s in cherishing the course of life with all its ups and downs, twists and turns. It’s about learning, growing, and finding joy in smaller things.
Image source: ‘How to improve your personal growth’ by Ali in sharetoinspireblog.com
So, if you think you’re unsure of yourself, drifting and tired of wishing for more; take a break, catch your breath and sell this to yourself – “it’s human to churn out imperfect outcomes.And I’ll be Ok with that”.
I wish life had a rewind button. This world then would’ve been a lot happier place to live in and I could tell somebody that the best thing that has happened to me…I’m finally smiling for me again and mean it.
Sure life is difficult. It’s not easy either to make it enjoyable. Very often happiness is eyed as something curious that doesn’t always makes one happy. Pleasure, joy, contentment, satisfaction- not all of these coincide with happiness. These are merely experiences that overlap feeling of being happy and are not the kind that arises from within.
Lately I’ve been reading a lot about happiness and what people do to be “happy”. I think I’m a generally happy person but I’m also genuinely curious to know if there is some key to happiness. Honestly, not many of us even know what to do to inspire happiness from within. Many would say that people generally put in little effort into trying to be happy. But I guess there are definitely ways that could help anyone to be a little happier. It’s already inside you and to find it would simply mean figuring a way in.
You’ve no doubt read a lot of hype around the concept of happiness: where to find it, how to feel it, how to keep it. But if you ever feel like you need a little more of it in your life, dive in here and see if these 7 ways resonate with your quest.
Change is inevitable
One of the most notable traits to grow happier is our intrinsic ability to accept and adapt to change. Children leaving the nest, careers evolving, uncertain health, maturing relationships; every transition calls for a similar shift in our disposition. Just how much we are ready to accept decides the size of footprints of happiness for us.
I had never wanted to be badgered by the most common regret people often rue about; “I didn’t allow myself to be happier. Maybe I could’ve done something about it. It just didn’t end up my way”.Since I chose not to be self-denying, I’ve found happiness in my control. I didn’t resist or feared change but embraced it gracefully. Guess, I needed to know when my life shifts.
Today, I find myself doing things that make me happy.
Don’t fake it.
Happiness has never been about being happy all the time. Life is full of uncertainty and faking beatitude would mean emotional upheaval at one time or another. Sure, it would buy you short term gains but at the price of long term pains. Fake it ‘til you make it is not real life. Being alive means having the privilege to feel everything –good or bad and live through it.
When you try to block feelings that are meant to be felt as a human, you don’t get to experience life to the fullest. Happiness is after all just one piece of the puzzle. So don’t fake it. Let it happen of its own.
Before long you’ll know it’s been worth waiting for.
Image source: pexels.com
Be alive
In the busy haste of everyday life it’s not uncommon that physical activity slips out of our priorities. To be alive and active everyday practice of going for a brisk walk, yoga, gardening or even dancing around the living room would lead to the release of endorphins, the ‘feel-good’ hormones. This induces positive sensations in the body and would result in mitigation of stress besides elevating the mood.
I swore to get out of a deadpan life and stay active the moment I realized that being that peppy and sharp isn’t just about staying fit; it’s like giving your body and mind a big shot of happiness and gratification. It’s like me telling myself, “Hey, I’m taking care of you, it feels pretty darn good and you should be grateful for that!”
Gee…Thirty years down the road, I no longer feel stuck, unfulfilled or lost!
Forget the past
Life is never short of its share of regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities. Yet, it appears happy people would always found a way to stay clear of a whole lot of aches and pains. I guess they learn quickly; that forgiveness is the only way out. Holding onto past hurts and disappointment only serves to rob you of your joy.
Rather than clinging to past wrongs or dwelling on what better I could have done, I chose to forgive – not necessarily because others deserved it but because peace seemed legit to me. I wonder how better I could’ve served myself.
Once freed from the past, I imagine I have saved myself from the chains of regret and bitterness and maybe saved some room for greater happiness and peace as well.
Be kind to yourself.
It’s so easy to beat ourselves up and proclaim that nothing is good enough. But as they say “gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.” It helps good times roll again, make you feel more positive, improve and deal with adversity and build strong relationships.
Walking through it allowed me to see that there are lots many things in life that are more worthy of my attention. I needed to work to bring happiness in my life and in those around me. No bubble baths or partying around for me but I’ve been nice to myself thereafter. That stuff would have made me feel good but I suppose it’s more about giving yourself the space to figure things out without flirting with those hippy-dippy things that people do to be cool.
So, if you are working on being happier, just let go of the unpleasant in life; your gratitude will help you get there fast.
What happiness looks like to you?
Regardless of where you are on the happiness scale, each one of us has their own way of defining happiness. The hard part is that many a times we chase other people’s definition. We often succumb to popular version of happiness and end up with a great deal of unhappiness.
So, to be smiling and happy again, you need to determine what it should look like to you. Be brave enough to step into your life and figure out for yourself what makes you happy.
You need to know what you want your life to look like.
Image source: ‘July notes from Dr Klug’ in healthspankc.com
Never rush through life.
It’s a miserable choice and robs you of all chances of being happier. Being “rushed” is quirky and would make you sad and out of sorts. True there is not much you can do about it but the balance is just right when you live out a comfortable productive life.
I think setting up goals is great but you need not be in a hurry to get things done. It leaves so much wasted time not soaking in life fully. So, ‘stop and smell the roses’ before pushing on. Let thegood and the bad wriggle their way into your life. It will be a real experience and help you to understand what happiness is all about.
While everyone is different, there are definitely ways that are easy for everyone. All you need is to come forward, figure out what brings joy to you and stay focused without throwing up your hands when it comes to your well being. And if you find yourself nodding along, stay on course; don’t give up.
Image source: ’21 Hilarious Things to Do For a Phenomenal Time’ by susanwhited0 in joyamongchaos.com
What is it that makes this World one truly happy place? Are there really no shortcuts to happiness? Do we need to get some kind of foothold for a peaceful life first?
Seriously, I am intrigued when I find people binge-watching, eating mindlessly, going on buying spree even when perhaps they don’t truly need things, and half expecting these as the only things that will make them happy in long run. Of course we all do certain things for survival but very few to feel happiness. Sometimes it’s the combination of positive habits that is enough to make us happy. But isn’t that somewhat similar to finding distractions in life; pushing your boundaries to be happy even when you’re not enjoying them?
This World is definitely a wonderful place to live and be genuinely happy about but we need to create one wonderland of our own worth living in. For now we live in a deeply imperfect one.
It’s not what we say that matters. It’s what we do that counts
A person being told that he or she has lost weight, climbing into bed with freshly washed sheets and seeing an old couple hold hands, might help brighten the day briefly. But unlike others I am not Ok with a laid back living. It gets too bland when life goes topsy-turvy. A quick thank you from the boss after a terrible day at work, your favorite song on the radio when you’re fuming stuck in traffic; does any of this is enough to make you utterly, ridiculously, jumping-up-and-down happy?
Well, it never worked out for me. I tried fervently, but…
All I could think of was how to come up with a running list in my head- things that I could refer back later. A bad boring day was like a tartar sauce that tasted indescribably bland, insipid, warm and like some gooey cardboard. Hard as it was to crawl out of the day, putting everything in one place under my bonnet would somehow make me feel smug and comfortable; and it was some fun too! Nothing’s too big or small to add, I would remind myself.
Guess, I was catching on but would unwittingly condemn every single lesson to my fridge only!
Image source: ‘How to stay fit forever: 25 tips to keep moving when the life gets in the way’ by Emine Saner in The Guardian
I would still get stressed and flip out over stupid stuff. I had stopped calling the people who mattered. I was ignoring those closest to me. I was neglecting my own needs though I would still rush around and check off things on my never ending mental to-do-list. And yet… it sucked. Waking up early, making coffee and sitting down alone for a quiet time on the couch, afternoon naps on days off; nothing would work for me until one fine morning it occurred to me;
I was eating away on my time. I badly need a mental shift more than making a list of what would make me happy.
Here’s what I did to turn the World around me and become a better place to live… and be happy about it! A fleeting happiness, a whole afternoon happiness, or warms my heart from the inside kind of happiness; I would never know but they’re all wonderful.
So, when life goes for a spin and you’re in a tizzy, take a moment to notice the things I did to sway happiness my way.
I learned to love and accept myself
Oh dear! Why it took me so long to learn to love myself inside out. It was so much more about letting go of the things I couldn’t change and appreciating what made me unique.
Being comfortable in your own skin isn’t always easy but it’s a good start to begin with things that make you special. I would let go of the things I cannot change and focus on celebrating my accomplishments. I was planning ahead, thinking positively, getting involved in my surroundings; and being kind to myself.
As it turns out, self-acceptance is not an automatic or default state. Many of us have trouble accepting ourselves exactly as we are. But it’s not so hard to accept the good parts of ourselves.
Doing just that did would help you climb out of the slump!
Hanging around with loved ones rejuvenates
There are moments in everybody’s life when we find ourselves alone, either by choice or circumstance. It then becomes essential to find comfort in presence of people we love most. It would encourage us to cherish our own company, find joy in our own thoughts and recognize that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely. Having someone you can rely on, someone you can share your high and lows with, is a beautiful feeling. Your soul mate, friends or even your pet–their company could surely make you happy.
So, hang around with someone you adore. It’s exciting and would help lift your world.
The joy of giving is a heart winner
Receiving is a great feeling but short-lived. Our lives are fulfilling when we give and share. The truest joy is felt when we share and help others to better their lives. A kind gesture howsoever small, is sure to brighten your day, kindle self-esteem and bring happiness and that to the other person as well.
Giving in fact takes you out of yourself and expands beyond your limitations. It results in an experience of love, joy, peace, charity, caring, and self-worth. You could get a glimpse of ecstasy once you open a conduit for the kind of happiness that no one can ever steal from you. It is an intrinsic reward -far more valuable than what you receive.
Image source: ’19 personality development tips that will make you unique’ in timesofindia.indiatimes.com
Have something to look forward to:
It’s totally a normal reaction to your present if you experience disappointment or some sense of grief around the loss of future plans. Something as small as your wedding being postponed, random health issues or the loss of a loved one, may leave you sad and wistful- but you shouldn’t. When in a rut imagine of a new potential future- one with good times. It rekindles.
I had learned to believe in making the right choice and to strive to live a purposeful life. It was kinda pleasant distraction and would make me optimistic of the future. It motivated me to keep going when I’d otherwise want to give up. So, watch out for small pleasures; you’ll end up with something to look forward to in an otherwise average life. Loosen up a little and you’ll run into more opportunities to be happier.
Keep moving even if life gets in the way
Can you carry on with exercising when you’re not motivated enough, weather has turned for worse or your schedule has become overwhelming? It’s not hard to guess whose call that would be. When it’d come to exercising your options I wouldn’t think twice think about how to “get” fit. But often, starting out was not the problem; maintaining it was though I knew that it provides more gratification and the cost of not doing it were higher. Of course, it’s helpful not to try to make yourself do things you actively dislike; but then you don’t have to love it to do it if stakes are so high. I learned to like what I liked as a child. I didn’t really enjoy exercising but I felt better whenever I did it.
So, keep your shape and lifestyle in check; it would work wonders to your emotions. Look for holes in your daily schedule that you can fill with exciting activities and let the rest happen of its own.
Image source: ‘How to plan and benefit from a successful digital detox’ by Layla Todd in mohamadkarbi.com
If you’re still wondering if any of this holds the key to your happiness, believe me it’s the only way to be genuinely happy and to see you through the end. It would mean you have done your bit to bring a real and lasting difference to your life. It would mean you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and face the life with a smile and won’t hesitate to push your boundaries.
And above all it would mean shaping a better tomorrow for your self – starting now!
Life has a mysterious way of throwing curve balls our way and challenging us even when it fulfilling. Middle-aged parents, people deep into retirement or somewhere in between-it doesn’t matter; there are times when we could hear ourselves saying “I’m stuck.” This is the time when we feel like giving up on everything. We begin to lose hope on our relationships at home, office, business, college or friends at some point.
I know it sucks… but it’s just that we feel hopeless about ourselves mostly because of low energy levels and lack of motivation to the point where getting out of bed becomes a struggle each morning. On some days we are tired and wish if we didn’t have to push us anymore. On others we simply yearn for a day off. I have felt this countless times and still do sometimes. Every time whenever I feel like giving up, I remind myself; “I’m not alone in this”.
I have had a strong familiarity with this feeling for long. In fact, I think my emotions are just as dramatic as my life. People all over the world may have felt the same way but strangely every time whatever I experience, it passes and better days always come back. Geez… guess I‘ve had learned to hold onto myself whenever things go haywire and I’d want to give up.
A few years back, I was abysmally stuck in life’s rut, struggling and feeling like I was going nowhere. It was as if I was living the same day on auto replay, a unending loop of dreariness and loss. It was maddening. I longed for a change but was scared of the risk and uncertainty. I was stuck in my old habit patterns and badly needed to break free and bring some good changes in my life. I’d though end up each day doing the same thing without trying anything corrective. All I knew that I needed to do something but just knowing that wasn’t enough.
Dying for a change, I looked around for ways to slip away from this standstill. Somehow, I desperately wanted to add reassurance to my life where someday I might find myself telling me; “I’ve done a lot better than last time and I’ll do better next time”.
That’s my side of the story, but…
If you think you too are missing on something in life, capable of doing great things but don’t know how to break loose of the rut and fear that you’re not living your best then you’re as badly stuck as I once was.
In my journey, I had checked on people who’d experienced nothing less and had eventually walked out of their miseries. It was my call and I’m glad that I didn’t hang back! Over the time their insights have truly brought a difference to my life; pushing it from slow decay to a smart shape up. So, if somehow you’re enduring a rundown life, crumbling and feel deserted, this is the time to make promises to you. And knowing how would surely inspire you to find an easy way to climb out of your why.
These 4 life-changing ways might just be your fire ladder for a way out.
Image source: ‘Happiness at work: Stop climbing the ladder’ by Eric Stutzman in achievecentre.com
Take a break- You need it
Giving yourself a break- when life feels jinxed, is one good way to sit back, mull, weigh and iron out some of your sorrows. Besides haven’t you been working so hard recently that you almost forgot to take a break? Burnout is for real if you push yourself around too hard for long. Taking a break and starting afresh will give you the new energy you need. It is then you’ll get to appreciate what it means to come back with a new spark. This would also afford you some spare time to learn, listen, connect and win support. You might be stuck only because you don’t know enough about what you’ve been dealing with and the kinda change you need.
Going back to the drawing board for a fresh start makes learning easy. Books, YouTube, Play station, Nintendo, Social media – almost any pleasure preference is a good start to begin with; for all that that’s worked for others, might work for you just as well!
Be sure to stay with your ‘Why’
“It all starts with why”. Even Simon Sinek an unshakable optimist had double checked the adaptability issue in his global bestseller. My guess is that whenever you could manage a close peek at ‘Why’, it helps you to keep going. So, when the thread begins to slip out, go back to the very reason for starting what you want to give up now. If you find that you’re still passionate about it, you’ll get enough courage to continue.
For me, thinking about the reason alone was enough to turn back from giving up. Even when I didn’t make any progress, I didn’t regret anything for I knew that I had kept going despite towering odds. And that was enough to cheer me up! My favorite line when I waded through something deep was no less persuasive! … “Somehow this one too shall pass”. This way I could stay afloat and strong and wait for signs of improvement. It helped me calm down and stay put when everything else felt coming apart. Telling myself this affirmation over and over again would never fail me.
Even to this day, I keep telling myself…hold and carry-on like always!
Image source: ‘Why do I feel so negative all the time?’ in greatmindsclinic.co.uk
Thinking of whole staircase? No way…
It is easy to feel overwhelmed when we think about the mountain of leftover things to do that lie before us. Sometimes we don’t feel like moving even a finger and would rather give up believing that we may not get the results. Whenever this happened, I wouldn’t think of the whole staircase I had to climb; just kept an eye open for the next step. Breaking the whole process into simple steps and picking up on one only each day would spare me a bunch of rollercoaster rides ahead.
After all the future doesn’t lie with you and you don’t have the past either to dwell upon. It’s only ‘now and here’. Doing what you do today will eventually make everything work for you.
Be curious-It’s your best antidote
When we have our backs to the wall don’t we all get easily snared into despair and sadness? This often is the result of lack of new experiences. You’re zapped of the desire to try something new and would feel cornered unable to get out.
What’s the antidote? Try out new things even if you are not the curious type. Let those sparks of interest- no matter how small, handhold you for a while. A movie, theatre, Ted talks, interviews, book…if anything piques your interest, dive headlong into it. Nothing will appear different immediately, but slowly fresh ideas will begin to excite mind and you’ll be alive again, ready to explore anything new. But don’t just stop at these small curiosities. Few things as simple as playing tennis, even when you’ve never held a racket- or jogging through a different neighborhood are just as good to change your perspective. Your each step big or small is one stride towards a better tomorrow.
I live in a world where food is delivered to my door step, cab comes to my home for a scheduled pick up and Amazon takes care of all my household needs – everything just a few clicks away! The World seems not be in a hurry but on some days I’m more stirred than ever. Have I done enough? What else could I have done to make life a little more meaningful? I then, look back and count my achievements. Of course, it’s not easy to think how far you have come and others have gone far ahead. But I guess it was only about opening doors that I didn’t know even existed before and let myself be surprised by what lay beyond them. Like I said before I never forget about the journey I took.
Image source: ‘Feeling stuck – 5 tips to escape life rut’ in barelytherebeauty.com
Today I weigh myself with me only with what I was yesterday- and happiness returns!
For couple of weeks I wore myself out to have a taste of intense feracity and it was miserable! I busted my guts falling to the foxy idea of 4.00 am head start to boost my mood, focus and outlook. Everybody had said so!
But it didn’t work for me. It’s doesn’t for most people either. I knew that…still I counted on a bit of luck and a lot of meaningful success. I had imagined Tim Cook, Reid Hoffman or Lady Michelle Obama patting me back for attempting to start crafting an ideal life! The thought was simply overawing! Yet it sounded daunting to me. What was I looking at; the secret chilly way to success or chills in return?
I guess there’s some truth to it when people say that 4.00 am scramble would let you seize open hours for some thoughtful work and self improvement; else why would Tim Cook (CEO-Apple) start his mornings so early or Sallie Krawcheck (CEO-Ellevest) would come alive at 4.00am. An early start allows you to tackle tasks and have a leg up on emails before distractions hit, they say– and I agree; it’s arguably the most prolific time of the day!
So, all ramped up I decided to join the 4.00 am club to see if I could truly catch an early worm.
I had plan for two weeks but I barely lasted one!
It sucked…literally!
While I’d no longer be aiming to follow Cook or Krawcheck’s morning drill anymore, it did buy me some valuable insights. It was great trial. I got closer to picking up an ideal morning groove for me.
Image source: ‘The benefits of sleeping outside’ by Jenny Sansouci in healthycrush.com
To save you some savagery, here’s what my morning routine looked like in a dry run:
4 a.m.: Alarm sounds. It’s a 50-50 chance that I’d hear it right away and won’t hit the snooze button.
4:20 a.m.: I am out of bed. I managed to get out of bed at 4 a.m. on the dot only once. Most mornings, I didn’t even hear it until 4:20. The one positive gain of consistently oversleeping for another 20!…I’d shoot out of bed feeling left behind with a sense of urgency in the same way you feel when you think your alarm didn’t sound and the day has gotten away.
4:30 a.m.: I make my bed in 2 mins flat. I found it immensely helpful to immediately start and finish something, no matter how small. What more, it required me to stand up and do something active with my hands. It would take me another couple of minutes to tidy up thereafter.
Then, I’d have my morning tea, I’d skim through the headlines, work out, shower and by then it will be 6.00 am. This is when I would typically wake up and get down to being ready to hit the day.
But as I said my “4 a.m. week” was in fact miserable. It felt as if I had slept for 2 mins and woken up right in the middle of the night. I would feel ”Off” right from the get-go. It was so early that my body couldn’t even register the alarm! Frazzled and hung-over for most part of the day, I would be ready to hit the wall around by 3.00 in the afternoon.
I couldn’t figure out at all how to fix this and cope with fatigue; instead I ended up front- loading my mornings- making sure that I finish most of my work in early part of the day and leave little or nothing downstream.
I thought that by doing so, I’d have more freedom for myself. But I’d be too exhausted by night fall and couldn’t do much more than watch Netflix and hit the pillow early. I found myself cancelling most late night plans which were not possible if I were to hit the sack by 10.00 p.m. I felt drained and found myself counting down the days to the weekend, not because I was unhappy with my arrangement and desperate for time off, but because I ached to sleep in. My eating schedule was next thrown off. Ravenous in the morning I’d finish lunch before noon which made it ticklish to time dinner.
Hoping that some magic of day-larking would rub off on me, I had traded in my usual 6 a.m. rise time for 4 a.m. Pity…I got stuck up with a sly schedule that was no fun.
Image source: ‘World Sleep day 2023: Do you have problems falling asleep?’ in business-standard.com
Is 4.00 am the magical time —or just pure misery?
Would you still face these issues if you sleep for eight hours and wake up in wee hours? The answer is ‘Yes’. No matter how much sleep you catch- if you’re not wired to come alive at the wolf hour, you might be messing with your normal beat- and that’s sheer torture. It hurts and works to break you down eventually. Even if you think that missing out on just a few minutes would spoil nothing; think again. Losing out on even 15 minutes of sleep could seriously plough your day. Hold back or speed up your bio clock for a while and you can expect to have the same consequences as not getting enough sleep.
Since my body clock wasn’t set for predawn exploits, my first attempt was a fail. I just couldn’t outsmart my chronotype. After trying and failing for a week I realized that resetting body clock inside me, wasn’t easy. I switched back not sad or sorry! It wasn’t my thing.
Upset? …certainly not.
Even with my usual 6 a.m. wake up, the to-do list would still turn on me as soon as I’d open my eyes, and for the rest of the day I’d be playing catch up. For me to wake up so early at 4.00 was in fact a struggle to rise and shine.
It turned out that 4.00 am was truly the magical time; only I couldn’t make anything positive out of it for myself; except that a crash feeling of letting me down would weight heavy into the rest of the say.
Maybe I was being kinder to myself, less reactive and in a forgiving mood!
I couldn’t write a novel but I got more creative!
The only time I remember waking up this early was to catch a flight. I was too dopey then to notice or care about anything around me. And that’s that. With nothing pressing to do, nowhere to be and no sense of urgency, I couldn’t ask for a simpler way to escape the madness of everyday rut. The bonus time of 2.00 hours had actually brought me some brighter perspectives.
Yet, everyday right out of the gate at 9.00 am, it feels like I’m missing out on something. Surprisingly, it had actually felt good to wake up early. I miss being a cockcrow person. I could have got a lot done before everyone else!
Image source: pexels.com
Looking back I still remember the best part of being the first on the day break…I had tried rolling out at 4.00 am every day for a week! My distractions will be way down and my creativity way up. A calm start would better equip me to handle whatever storms lay ahead. Cheekily I had sort of thought once to hammer out a genius novel- just like that. But the mornings didn’t magically turn me into a novelist. Instead getting my to-do list done early did mean more creative match-strikes for me throughout the day.
Today, I’m more likely to binge watch, binge eat, and even binge buy! I drop off with a book and its lights out by 10 p.m. Sleep stays as my best secret weapon. My days are no less bright and my life sticks around just as amazingly!
You don’t have to think big to be outfoxing. Even small changes can bring a slew of difference.
It’s been a year since wall-to-wall news around generative AI caught the winds and raked up imaginations extensively, picking up on ideas and opinions and offering startling solutions- all free and easy! What more with so much flustering doing the rounds, one thing’s absolutely clear. It’s here and not going to go anywhere anytime soon. Soon it will get fully integrated into productivity suites and solutions. That would mean a truly easy access to gen-AI in most places. Anywhere from composing e-mails, cleaning up code, brainstorming ideas to performing data analysis; it will have the clue and solution to everything of value.
So where’s all this going? What’s AI got to do with our way of doing things? I’d say not much right away but Chat GPT might pull the rug from beneath us sometime sooner for it’s got cutting edge tech in its arsenal and promises finer results.
Touché!Nah…not really. But ain’t all that soft power a bit off-the cuff? It’s breezy, folksy alright, but I guess it misses completely on the need to get the inside scoop and understand what you’re actually looking for. It’s revolutionary but with an air of indifference. Lack of academic integrity, limited knowledge, biased responses and inability to multitask… it sucks! Gen-AI or not; your Monday mornings still won’t bring you the first smile of the day. Everything will be thin as always and easily roll by.
Unless…
George Soros might have had the answer to this. He had figured it out helpfully; “The outcome of this book (’Soros on Soros’) is a summing up of my life’s work. . . As I finish the book, I feel I have succeeded.” Not much of a gen-AI here but who is better equipped to tell what he really thinks and how he thinks and translates everything into a remarkable personal success?
Fortunately, there are just as better ways to evolve and deliver on a better understanding of our future needs. Of course you’ll need to open-up to self-discovery and become a curious enthusiast who wouldn’t hesitate to meet a lot of quirky people and is always be looking for fixes to ‘Whys’.
These five ways might be the end of your comfort but at the end of the day I’m sure you will find your Wonderland!
Image source: ‘How to handle a toxic work environment’ in wemeancareer.com
Work out what you stink at
It sounds more of a bluff than some novel fresh career progression stuff, but it sways as you move ahead in your métier. It lets you find your weak points that need to be fixed and works best when you consider them as gaps in your skill set. What more it makes you stay on your toes all the times to keep tweaking your dexterity and clout.
See…it’s important to stay passionate about succeeding for you know that someone else knows better. Dump your shakiness, lest frailty swells to billboard size and crushes your chance of a win in your line of work!
Desires fire: Pick the right ones
You don’t want to turn into one of those dreadful swellheads; the kinds who love to be in control of the party. Nobody does. So, decide what’s important; would regulation jeans and white shirt work just fine for you or would you sulk over your clothes and be unpleasantly worried about your appearance. I for one never cared if my wardrobe was good enough to make me friends with vivacious hot finds. It didn’t matter. I chose to stay ahead in areas I thought I was passionate about. So I reached out and cherry-picked what I loved to do most.
From films and music to technology and food; your choice could make the difference. Follow it with respect and intensity and watch everything fall in place. And, don’t forget to share your eagerness to learn. Like-minds evolve easy and better. Besides, it’s more fun doing together than striking out on your own.
Find Filters: ‘cos they’re your best bet!
Look around and find people who are smarter than you in the swamps you wish to wade through. Filter info that flows your way while pulling together. Of course this would mean trusting somebody’s judgment you barely know. Yet be insightful, perceptive and awake; it’s highly likely that someday you may hit upon a brilliant idea or insight that has evaded you this far. Exciting as it is you will be shepherding your ideas to success once you climb down and relent to somebody wits.
Don’t believe in everything far and wide
The world generally lends more eyeballs to the bigger, better and bustling. But unimportant and inconsequential too sometimes have new funky and futuristic moments. A small book released quietly will easily hold its own against all those next-big-things unveiled at splashy champagne and celebrity dos. Then there’s a strange shaky contrast of feedbacks and reviews to cope with. Everybody’s ever rushing to make a brutal stab as a critic on the internet. Honestly nothing’s dependable 100 percent!
However so many things escape unsullied. With a “positive spin“ invent your own inner assessment system. It will let you have a new way of looking at the world.
Image source: ‘5 best practices of performance analyzer in Power BI’ in journeyteam.com
Reinventing the wheel could be disastrous
So what if someone got there first? You can find a different way to discover. You’ll at least have the opportunity to flirt with information for a while! Interpret it in a way it hasn’t already been. Nothing is beyond the pale; connect the dots your way and someday you’ll hit the brilliance on speed dial. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know the answer to everything right now. Your context and perspective are enough to save you from the shrill din of ;“Shut up, you stupid!”
To keep your value and position intact be mindful that when you can do things that others can’t- like anything from optimizing content or coding for the web, you earn an undeniable advantage for yourself. Dredge up! Staying ahead has never been easy. But gradually you’ll learn to adapt and improve continually!
Still not with me!
Let Alice inspire you. If I may fill you in; not everything in ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ was conjured from Lewis Carroll’s imagination. Stubborn, precocious and curious, she had to crawl down a rabbit hole, encounter obstacles and get lost again and again but didn’t she finally woke up armed with new experiences to navigate real life better?
Taking risks is scary but standing still is even more. You wouldn’t grow without challenging yourself. Use your weekends and aft-work hours to “do” something beyond drinking beer and dusting your house.
And come to think of it… most people who are at the top end of the curve sleep not more than 5 hours a day.
Image source: ‘Where did I go wrong? Why prospects respond negatively, and what to do about it.’ by Peter Bouvier in linkdin.com
After all life is no fun on the bleachers. You need to engage to be on the fast lane to success.
You’d know this when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking ‘I may as well pee while I’m here! Or may be let others come out loud and clear for you. Want to know how?; Simply fall down- if people around you laugh you’re not an old salad yet and there’s some zing still left in you; if people panic you’re a bummer and burning out fast.
Five years ago I was whisked into the emergency room followed by a stay in a hospital for a good three weeks. Well…the diagnosis said I had a mutinous pancreas that’s on a wayward run. That’s incredulous! I was aghast. It was difficult to imagine that something unbelievable had happened to me. The ceiling had felt like crashing down on me.
Later with initial stupor over, countless IV syringes and saline and heaps of hastily drawn scratch book pills were lined up to smother my senses in days to come. I was sternly advised to press on with infinite medication and an endless string of consultations without skipping any one of them if I wished to live. The downslide didn’t end there; periodic visits to a cardiologist, an urologist and a physician in that order were meant to be equally upsetting. There was no way out; nothing rough-and-tumble to have a crack at. Besides, I didn’t know how exactly any of that was going to help me cope with an inflamed pancreas; except that I had evaded regression and had stopped slipping. Still it felt like I was a piece of cardboard taped over the broken window in a car, all the while hanging tight –bottom- side-up!
But in the process of being in and out of critical cares, I had an epiphany; a moment when it hit me hard-I am old! Is that for real or am I hallucinating?
Weeks later I recall; the poker faced doctor had begun by asking me questions about my medical history. I shared that I lost my father early to a stroke and my mother had some hypertension related issue. But there was nothing that would clearly indicate that I had any genetic tendency to an endocrine disorder. I was pretty sure; that this mixed gland in me was as bouncy as ever and wouldn’t ditch me. I trusted my anatomy firmly so much so that I could feel the islets of Langerhans pumping happily down my guts. Nothing seemed upended and not for a moment it occurred to me that someday somehow it will capsize- not at least till the end of time. Insulin, Glucagon, Somatostatin, Pancreatic polypeptide, just about each one of them was piping up…until one day for no reason everything flaked out.
Clearly I was failing when I tried to assure him that – my father’s passing away was merely due to importunate lifestyle and my mother simply was ‘just old’. At that point, he asked their age when they had problems- heart related and otherwise.
After telling him their age when they began having issues, he smiled and asked, “How old are you?” And that’s that!
His smile said it all. ‘I felt old’
It probably sounds silly – but until that moment I had never considered myself “old.”
Ironically-I am and that’s the truth. The unreasonably snickering doctor was apparently enjoying cannoning this bombshell. So, I did something insanely fortifying – I decided to have a good laugh at myself! I am no doctor but I thought of it as the best way to cast aside my worries and calm my frayed nerves. Maybe that would blow away the butterflies for good.
At no time I was given to the idea that there was a magic pill somewhere waiting to be found some day and uncovering it would allow me a spin with Peter Pan syndrome- a timeless life. For me, it never was the silver bullet but the silver buckshot that curate a healthy happy living.
Was that good enough a consolation for this new found awareness? Jeez…It’s shaky but I did find some acuity in what many had shared about growing old before me. Oliver Wendell Holmes was a great help-“Oldage is always fifteen years older than I am.”; and so was Bob Hope; “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” Eleanor Roosevelt’s one-liner was no less reassuring; “‘Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you shall ever be again”.
So what the heck! …I accepted.
It’s onlya graveyard shift; no more. And I saw myself more as a twilight trooper than a nocturnal nutcase. It was funny, cool and powerful and it worked for me fine- the thought I mean! I wouldn’t think of me a midnight misfit anymore. A long life is a gift and getting old is never so devastating that all my friends in heaven would miss me and think- “I didn’t make it’?
My old lady can vouch for as it has happened to me. Not long ago whenever we would walk out together, she’d know that a trip to restroom was not an option. Before leaving when I’d tell her that I’d better use the bathroom, she’d be acerbic, “Obviously”; but the concern in her voice will be unmistakable.
Image source: pexels.com
Today, I hope that life will fare out as good and happy I imagine it to and everything will work out just as fine for us. Together we will go on enjoying being “old “as one.
I am already feeling better as I say this!
As for you, I want you to laugh out loud if you feel you’re clairvoyance is backsliding and ebbing with age; “What was that guy’s name again?”—and don’t forget to tell yourself the truth about aging.
Look…At just about any age we are always mindful about just how happy we want to be. There are childhood days when we grumble to grow up fast so that we can do whatever we want to. In college we want to graduate in a hurry so we can find work and make money. And when working we dream of the day we‘ll finally retire. Wouldn’t it be cool and well-spent if we sit down and think about what it is we like about the every stage of life we’ve been in? It’s never too hard to uncover some jewel moments and doing that will make you relive them.
Just fill the bill and someday soon you’ll forget the commercials telling us ways to fight getting older.
Image source: ‘Why should we renew our minds?’ in mountbm.org
Put up with your life and love to live the way as it is right now. To that end; slow down for a while, debark and list the things you like most about getting older. With notebook in hand and pen clicked and ready, it’s not long before the ideas would begin to flow. Trust me it’ll be difficult to stop even if writer’s cramp hurts after 15 minutes of furious scribbling. I couldn’t. I had though kept on writing until my thoughts were exhausted. Honestly, It was one easy way to find my perfect happiness.
Having entered my sixties, I don’t care that I may not have much to contribute after I’m seventy. And I’m not sure I’ll have had much left to chip-in before turning seventy-five.
What the dickens! At 60 ain’t I still the bolting roost? And I don’t think I’m going to fade away that quickly or quietly. There’s so much to look and live for!
Image source: pexels.com
Geez…now that we’re living longer, don’t we have the time to write books about living longer?
25:00: time to focus! 24:53: short break for reset; enable notification alerts;
You may ‘Start’ now…
20:15: it’s time for a longer break;
Stop kicking the can down the road and find ways to be gainful. You might just get away from being looked upon as a messy, couch potato creep who’s crawling lazy and always falls behind others! Here’s how…
As the clock strikes midnight, your run-up for the day begins. It will keep ticking for another 86400 times before packing for the day to pick-up a new one! Aren’t you tardy and a little behind time? You’ve already splurged close to 25000 secs lying fast asleep in bed. There’s so much to do and not enough time to finish.
Now, you’re all worked up and worry if you could somehow find help to wrap up the stint you’ve been working on; study, writing, or coding- it feels like you’re living on borrowed time. “I thought I’d finish work in time. That might have helped…but “!
Nothing to get peevish over except that you’ll stand guilty as charged of procrastinating and hamming it up. Your claim that you could easily finish the task will be sounded out as utterly unreal and way off being realistic. As if that isn’t enough, you’ll be flagged as a reckless destructive crass who always falls short in managing his time. And all the while you’ve been thinking you’ve done enough to fix that damn ‘frittering’ syndrome and dealt with your jinx! Still you keep crashing out miserably each time you stretch out.
It’s gross and exasperating!
Still I think it’s Ok to fail trying than to die away doing nothing. And I guess… trying yet one more time doesn’t hurt anybody.
It’s intriguing in content…I mean this issue of prioritization and productivity. So I decided to dig back into the history a little. A fascinating ‘inverting time’ concept where time changes from a negative something; apparently lost— to a possible positive representation of an event, caught my attention and I travelled back to a 130 page revelation about ‘Working smarter, not harder’by Francesco Cirillo who like most of us was a complete spoilsport when it came to studies and completing assignments. He knew little of little of anything let alone find a way to manage time. So when the idea of using of a kitchen timer shaped like a tomato (pomodoro in Italian)- that so nonchalantly hit him one day while prepping meal in galley-it was more accidental than a serious shot at innovating something. But what followed next was to change his life and of countless others forever!
It all started as a feather-brained hack where he’d set a two-minute timer and challenge himself to stay focused for that duration. Curiously this was set to be later used to channel time and train the brain to stay focused by chipping off some extra length of time that’s otherwise taken to stay tuned. It didn’t end here; short breaks meant to switch off after-efforts, gave him precious minutes to realign and adjust if things didn’t go well in the first instance!
Cirillo had then moved on to five… 10 and later 25 minutes followed by a five-minute break; which he thought was fair enough optimal time interval. This meant that ‘anything less than this was too short a time to get anything done, while an hour-long was way too long’.
And this is when the ‘tomato timer’ birthed.
Gif source: ‘Tips and tricks. Unofficial guides and fixes. User edition.’ in forum.zidoo.tv
This is something that you too can do to wriggle out of your daily struggle to be productive. Jeez…haven’t you had enough off being badly road-rolled and knocked around with a ton of tasks to finish and do not know how to complete them? As a matter of fact you run a serious risk of an early burn-out and a steep backslide. So, try your hand on this fancy hourglass for some dramatic results. Doing so would eliminate procrastination from your life and ensure that you stay focused on one task at a time allowing you to work in short bursts of time with short breaks in between.
Pen a draft, knock out a proposal, complete a graphic design project, or dash-off a complex code; breaking your work into 25-minute chunks is hugely beneficial and the pause in between would let you review the progress you’ve made so far with fresh eyes to make adjustments where necessary.
What’s even better is how easy it is to begin! Simply find a timer (the one on your phone will work fine), and get going. If you’re looking for something more legit, explore the likes of Focus booster, Pomello, Toggl, Clockwork Tomato, Focus to-do. Using a Pomodoro tracker feels edgy at first but after several days your variables will make you wonder why you didn’t pick it up earlier; you may have saved yourself a lot of troubles! Getting something done on time and ticking it off your to-do list can be extremely satisfying.
On the other hand little distractions have the distinction of derailing whole work day in a flash. This would have lots of open ended work left unfinished and would seemingly drag on endlessly. But if you’re keen to work past the point of optimal order and timing, you’d better build up an appetite for ‘tomatoes’. Like so, it would save the day for you and set plans for you with gamified objectives and gumptious ends!
Begin by breaking down complex projects in smaller actionable steps. Stay close to this rule and some clear progress is sure to happen since small tasks go together to a bigger end. So combine simpler ones together and ace it. But before that ….
Image source: ‘Why do I procrastinate?’ by Nancy in sweet planit.com
Set the timer to ring at all times since ‘pomodoro’ is an indivisible unit of time and cannot be broken; certainly not for checking incoming mails, team chats or text messaging. In the moment, it might seem easy for you to justify these internal pulls; “This email is too important to wait,” or “It’ll take only less than a minute to check my Twitter; that not a real distraction…Ok!”
Of course, anything that comes up in between needs to be returned to later. A digital to-do-list to keep track is fine but a pen and paper will do as well. Perish the thought but these small interruptions would lie low and be messy later! You have to take note of them.
But it’s not just the time lost; it’s also the time and energy you’ll need before your lost attention settles down and goes live again. After switching gears, our minds stay absorbed with the previous calling for well over 20 minutes before it gathers wits fully. Indulging the impulse to check Face book “even for a minute“ is like blowing away some 20 minutes of trying before you could get back on rails.
Make it a 5 minute break if the disruption is imminent; keep track of the time lost and reflect how best to avoid them next time. See… each break is a chance to reset and bring your attention back to what you should be working on. It makes you become more aware of where and how you’re spending your time.
Nevertheless, if you get to finish before the timer goes off, reach out for some over learning or spend this extra time reading up on professional knowledge to improve on your skill set.
Image source: ‘6 ways to improve work-life balance when working remotely’ in calmsage.com
Guess what…at the end of the day you’ll be too ready to believe that good things do happen to you too and how much you can get done in a day!
All you need to do is …jumpstart your day by thinking in ‘tomatoes’ rather than hours!
Post-work dinners, ringing laughter and upbeat colleagues; this is not the kind of work place that you’d think of as toxic. In fact you’d be disappointed if some cold jerk were to tell you how they party in the Office without getting beached! Dreaming of working there! No way…there would be no excitement or joy for you.
But honestly it’s still way better than the ‘forced fun’ that’s on offer for some jobs. From yearly bash- where drunken seniors swagger around with pesky conversations and raucously push the shaky juniors to twirl a leg, to deadwood birthday celebrations around some sleazy old cake and canned juice, to a nerve-wracking night out of ‘mandatory fun’ where instead of bringing levity, you feel dumped. Your uncaring “Drop it. That doesn’t bother me. I would rather not get involved” unmindful attitude won’t be of much help either. The mundane horrors are many!
I’m not saying that all Office fun sucks. It’s just that most HRs wouldn’t know how not to put together some crappy, wasted ‘accidental drill’ that no one wants to go to.
Meant to be popular as an inspiration to beleaguered drop dead work mule, it loses steam the moment it’s the boss who gets to decide what and when to share. Should you begin to feel like you’re being punished, you can safely assume that it’s your employer’s prerogative! Yeah…it’s perfectly legal and there’s nothing terrible about it.
Think of it like this; you’re to take part in a team building trip to say, an amusement park or an overnight leisure retreat, for neither of which you have any heart and have decided to decline to go. Don’t expect to get those days off! You’ll be looked upon to continue to show up at work. You may find that punishing but isn’t that pretty reasonable? You being asked to carry on with the work if you’ve decided to miss the ‘fun’. Totally normal I’d say; no one is going to let you an extra three days of vacation out of kindness of their heart. You won’t get to bail on that; fears rage others too might join the chorus. “Yeah, I’d rather be snowboarding in some slinky ski town or watching Paul Feig movies at home or hopping around Cafés and glitzy plazas”; many would count on baring their hearts out than pitch for some eerie partying.
Image source: ‘Yes, you really do have to attend your office holiday party—here’s why’ by Kerri Anne Renzulli in cnbc.com on Dec. 13, 2018.
Sometimes the ‘fun’ part isn’t quite so organized and stays messy all throughout. Gone are the days when annual bash was the only breather in the calendars. Today, you may find yourself climbing ropes or running a three legged race, all the time cursing and damning your ‘forced’ choice. Post work holiday partying, drinks, pepping up, work place mixers and retreats; in fact just about everything is a cinematic parody stuff now. You’re meant to behave like a kid rollicking away at a summer camp.
Of course vacations and days-off are a time for fun, but getting ‘in the spirit’ works differently for everyone. Beyond the general insensibility of such activities, the attempt to revitalize mutual ties often stalls, all because of failed respect for work-life boundaries!
Now that I think about it, isn’t it strange that person like Linda Yaccarino would pick up the wildest job in tech, aware that she was pitted against one of the toughest jobs and a dyspathetic employer ? Gutted workforce, dwindling advertising, Twitter was an utter chaos and on the edge of collapse with little to fence off copy cat alternatives. Guess…what she was contemplating was a ‘measured pushback’ to put an end to all the woes. But hard firing the people is cold with no explanation that would make sense. “I’m going to get fired for this. I work at Twitter right now, but … is just better. Here’s to a new World”; every farewell would end on a teary note each time an employee was shown the doors. Twitter was acting like a product and not a service.
Disgruntled and ‘at odds’ employee is like buying a Rolls Royce stripped of half the bodywork with a lift kit put on it. My guess is, Twitters reaction to a pretty harmless esprit de corps was intense and at best unnecessary and unprofessional. Making work a little light, less serious and with even lesser ‘mandatorystrings’ stirs up people enough to take a second look before turning away from work.
Still there is always a time when you simply want to finish work and go home. You have little or no interest to go for an offsite thing. There’ve been parties that you didn’t attend because of that reason only. You’d always find a graceful way to stay away from the ‘group picture’. But isn’t it also worth asking why you are so opposed to posing? Is it the cruel kindness of a jumpy jittery HR that you despise or have you lost interest in ‘old news’ and ‘organized chaos‘? Ask around…and nobody will have the answer.
What’s wrong anyways in being humorously contradictory at times?
Don’t get me wrong. It’s totally Ok if you’re happy at your workplace; you’d tend to work harder than those who are fed up with the grind. But ‘managed’ joy isn’t always a perfect hit. What’s important is not a beady-eyed push to mend loose ties; that’s at best noble but dismissive act. It puts people behind on work and denies what they really want. Besides forced fun is often seen as an attempt to stave off likability for better pay, better benefits, parental leave and better work/life balance or work flexibility. In fact, it only worsens everything, making burn-out levels rise fast while separating work from identities. What’s more influencing is that you’d rather finish work ASAP and head home to your actual life where it’s reassuring and satisfying and takes the edge-off uninterrupted.
It though is complicated in what it means to your HR now that he’s doing what he can to hold onto you before you run amok and decide to quit. He’s always busy trying balancing what he thinks is right for everyone. What then is the fix? …if only somehow it can be managed without actually being enforced.
Image source: ‘Job satisfaction won’t buy you engagement’ by Charles Rogel in tlnt.com. on May 10, 2018.
Put your money where the mouth is
Small time ingenuity might just do the trick. Building actionable perceptions ranging from ‘smart’ library to virtual book clubs, movie clubs and ‘little freedoms‘ similar to slack channels for fandom, make for a good start. Without the pressure of a formal workplace event, affinity becomes intense and more flexible. Petty props like suggestion box or anonymous online questionnaire are the best way to sass out what people are really interested in and why they often feel nervous about voicing their concerns. Sometimes gifts and vouchers work even better instead of a deliberate slinging physical soiree.
Of course small changes make a heap of difference but when wrapped up in work, nobody wants to leave the desk for a pickle ball match only to come back to a heapful of work load. Social events or fun activities after hours are equally restrictive and not many would attend. Even when everything is optional, it doesn’t feel great to miss out or to be singled out as one who never joins in.
On the contrary bated enthusiasm lets off the steam when the buzz happens within the Office hours. It’s a win-win for everybody; generally speaking you’d exploit and enjoy and stand in good stead while the HR would sigh in relief and be alive again looking for dips in productivity.
At the end of the day, I guess there is hardly anything wrong in seeing work as what you do for a living. It’s nice to get a pat on the back when the work is taxing and you deliver, but would you take ‘flattery’ over clean passable work conditions? Nah… nobody would. You’re worth more than some feeble voice in a karaoke duette.
Image source: ‘You’re ready to take the HiSET’ in hiset.org.
So, if your company offers you random groovy pizza parties, free Friday beer over reasonable hours, flexible work and a sassy compensation…
Did you know that even spicy foods can make you happy! They say it’s because the body cannot distinguish between spiciness and the peppery pain, and pain releases endorphins in the brain which register as pure happiness. For quite a few it wouldn’t mean anything except tears and sweat. But wait till the “Pepper High Effect” burns you enough to feel Hot, Happy, and Healthy! You just need to build up your tolerance to ’scovilleferocity’.
Like many, I couldn’t do it either; perhaps I didn’t need it after all (whatever lies I tell myself!).
Two or more years ago, I jinxed myself;
I had been telling around that I know how to carry-off happiness for me out of a wet paper bag if needed (whatever that was supposed to mean), had no problem with changing choices and felt I was on my way (wherever that might be, I was certain it was a good place).
And then…unprepared for;
I realized I had never actually made any headway with my flight of fancy. I had conned myself with some fake beliefs. The deceit was blinding!
What does that mean? Where I went wrong with the “Happy question”? I needed to find out.
I knew the answer wasn’t quite that simple. It’s a rare bird that nests distantly or distinctly from person to person, moment to moment, and breath to breath. What’s exciting today might hurt tomorrow. So, I tried mimicking facial exercises to pick up the mood;“Rest your face five seconds, now let’s do it again five times… smile, smile, Smile, smile, smile!” Geez…It was miserable. I just couldn’t do it.
Image source: ‘My life sucks – Bounce back guide’ by David in meaningfulpaths.com
Hang in there a moment. I wasn’t ready to give up on me.
I didn’t know if it was Ok to believe happiness to be a choice. What if I were to change my ways? Would that leave me content for the rest of my life?Truth is, like everybody I didn’t have the slightest idea about the whole thing. Not altogether. Not 100 %.
Yet there are people who are happy and others aren’t. What brings the difference? Is happiness actually a lifetime option? What’s there to be like Jeanne Louise Calment, a perky, jaunty happy soul who fiercely loved chocolate and ate nearly 2 lbs of it every week? Active as she ever was, she had taken up fencing at 85 and was riding bicycles at 100! She even went on to star in ‘Vincent and Me’in 1990 when she was 104! She smoked until 120 and quit smoking only when she could no longer find her cigarette box. “Until next year perhaps?” She would say goodbye to the people who frequented her. “I don’t see why not! You don’t look so bad to me.”; a fond response would never fail to enthuse her. A twinkle in the eye and a subtle grin would momentarily give away her contentment. She stayed witty right until the end came in 1977. She was 122 then!
What was then that kept her going so strongly even at such a ripe age?
Nothing would make us happy unless we choose to
Whenever I fell into the rut of sadness, each time I would hear one single idea– three ways; that we have the option to choose happiness, that it would lead me straight back to my natural state of daily joy and that I’d be out of my jinx box in no time! It was difficult to face a crazy argument that wasn’t real but felt revolutionary. I didn’t need to let my story of unhappiness hold power over me.
Weeks later, I chanced to hit a thread on Reddit. It went like this;
“Think of your thoughts like the weather; as if they were passing clouds. Weather doesn’t have meaning; sometimes you get storm clouds and sometimes clear skies.”
I guess what did it do to me was happily shocking and surprising!
It shattered the pall of gloom around me and helped me rise into happiness. In a simpler way- the melancholy was not serving or doing me any good. It needed to be junked. And for once “I didn’t need an excuse to be happy!”
Image source: ’10 habits to be happy’ by Julianna Summers in newtraderu.com
Don’t wait to simplify life!
For years altogether I have tried to break free of my individual unhappiness. Not much of a success there. I would still be angry about my deprived childhood and resent 30 odd years of surviving a deadwood career. In any case, it always reeked of some kind of heresy as I’d often find arguing with myself; “What!—how could I to just ‘snap out of’ this straight jacket numbness that is stuck with me since forever?”
I don’t believe miracles happen, at least not that quickly but yes- I did get it right finally. It had occurred to me that few roads to happiness just do not lead through Oxytocin or Endorphin. The one and only truth that matters is that ‘If you’re not happy, you can choose to be’. Pick up an enduring will, wake up some rugged determination and you’ll get better and feel lofty.
Neither do you have to be any good at DIY to get going. Happiness does not demand some external event, an accomplishment, a win, a pat on the head, a struggle or any reason at all. For all I know, you can simply choose to be happy from this moment onwards; for no reason other than that you’re the mostknotty life form, have confusingly interrelated parts- that‘ve somehow come together- live in most exciting times and are going around an ever exploding ball of hydrogen at 107000 kmph all the while sitting on an enormous chunk of rock and lava.
Take that in. Don’t wait and…for once keep biology out of it!Nothing is more dispiriting than the burden of unhappiness due to air and appearance you carry.
So start loving somebody; get mushy and if you’re in love, take time right now to reveal. Open your heart before it stops. Even a small touch, massage, hug, hand holding or a handshake works well.
It’s a hard one on you if you have ‘no love’ or ‘little something’ to hang on to, but self-love is just as good a fill-in. It shuts out everyone else except YOU to care for. Eventually fondness, generosity and a warm heart would fill your day. Give an unexpected gift, buy a stranger Coffee, rummage your pocket and throw change in that ‘unfortunate’ hat, or laud and pay a compliment. When you do small favors, fuzzy feelings begin to flood your veins and Oxytocin will flow.
Besides, who would want to live as “Janitor of a Mountain of BS” (quoting Tim Ferriss) for 50 straight years only to resign to a couch in the corner and drag through the idyllic Golden Years? I would rather not wait for mermaids to spoon-feed me bran flakes and let each day bring me a new jumper! Should I? Nope …no way, the idea has run out of gas for me. The fantasy that I do X to be happy has fallen behind.
Image source: ‘Why you should strive to be content, not happy’ in healthwellbeing.com
Honestly, I believe that you don’t need to hang on to outcomes for your happiness. If you do, it will be Ok for a minute, a month or perhaps longer but sooner than later you’ll be haunted by the next unreal emptiness in your life.
Don’t hold back; the world has not shrunk yet. You need to choose NOW!
When radium was first discovered in 20’s, people knew little of its toxicity. Its impressive glow-in-the-dark properties made this stunning heaviest alkaline earth metal a popular additive in products like paints, toothpaste, hair cream, and even food items, until years later the entire factory crew of the United States Radium Corp. fell to radiation-related sickness with decaying teeth, crumbling bones and spines that crushed under their own weight. Tragically most of them were to succumb to this lethal discovery not very long after.
Woefully, these weren’tCarl Sagan moments; not until 1995 when his Big Think 1995 stunner “The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark” swayed the media with a passionate version of a better world that was all set to debunk a dystopian future. Contrarily, the world had just begun to morph into kinda eerie sink hole that many would today find disturbingly similar to ours. Who would have then thought that an unpleasant legacy of utterly devastating events from 20th century was cursed to follow down to us!
We have heard of appalling stories of Black plague and the dreadful plight of poor in Victorian England, but all seem a distant reality when we imagine the outrageousness of the shattering events of last century that would pale even the Spanish flu of 1920; more than 2 million lives were lost then. Yep…sadly the blemish stays very real to this day!
I wish I could travel through time and do something to fix things right. Nah! I know that’s not going to happen. Maybe I’d step back and try to dig in the past. That’s little shade but I could be ready and waiting for more tumult in time ahead!
So, I hunker down and imagine what if I am born 100 years ago-that would be some horse and buggy days of 1923! At the age of 14, I would be seeing dark clouds of War gathering strength. Hindenburg disaster with 36 dead is already a fading infamy that has finished off the much touted commercial airship program finally. On the other side of the globe, six weeks of brutal Nipponese massacre has left thousands dead in the Chinese city of Nanjing and wrecked any chance of clarity in a chaotic World; it’s more jumpy now than ever.
Incredibly all this is happening when with 22 million dead, the planet is still struggling to recover from the dark days of WW-I! Looks like lessons from the past are gone to wind!
Image source: ‘Defence of the Realm Act of 1914 – History Learning Site’ in humix.com
Eight years later Print screamers are everywhere-‘Little Boy’ has just flattened Hiroshima claiming more than 140,000 lives. I have turned 22 this January. A little later, the enormity of Holocaustwould plunge the world into despair and remorse would prevails over every other catastrophe in telling history. Genocide of six million Jews across German-occupied Europe has shaken even the most hostile cynic.
At 29,I am a young adult now and have survived the upheaval thisfar. It’s 1952; Polio epidemic has killed 3300 in the US, the Great London smog has smothered another 4000; Mau-mau rebellion has begun to maim Kenya; the 9.0 magnitude Kamchatka quake toll has risen to 4000; misery pipe for a Korean War across the 38th parallel between North and South Korea is shrieking harshly. Tragically, this war will end with millions of casualties on both side and more than 100,000 dead for the UN forces involved.
Come 1956 and I’m 33 years old, the Hungarian Revolution– a countrywide uprising is lifting head. Damned to last for mere 12 days it would leave thousands killed or wounded and nearly quarter–million fleeing the country in its wake.
A year earlier Vietnam War had polarized the world. The second Indochina war that began in the fall of 1955 would end in 1975 when I would be 52.
Image source: pexels.com
Fast forward. It’s 1962 and I am 39 years old. Cuban missile crisis is here to bring the World to the brink of nuclear annihilation. As if that wasn’t bad enough, peace totters in South Asia as Sino Indian war turns into an awful reality.
And sadly we’ve just lost Marilyn Monroe this August.
I am 52 years old and its 1975. Together typhoon Nina and Banqiao dam breach in China – the worst in living history -have decimated 230000 lives.
Double time! Its 1983 and I’ve turned 60. El Niño– the strongest and the most devastating destruction of the century is here. Trade winds have collapsed and reversed. In just 24 hours, sea-surface temps along the coastal Peru have shot up to 7.2degrees F.
Another bite in the arse- the Little Boy lives on! Twelve years later a wave of warm water would trigger weather related disasters in almost every continent. Australia, Africa and Indonesia will be ravaged by droughts, dust storms, and brush fires. Peru will be hit with the heaviest rainfall-11 feet in recorded history. Some rivers would carry 1000 times the normal flow and would cause $13billion+ in damages and untold number of lives.
Image source; ‘Is Climate Migration Already Happening?’ by Annie Gray in emagazine.com on July 19, 2023
Then there will be secondary problems as well. Warm, wet spring would mean an explosion in mosquito stocks; frighteningly high incidence of snake bites will fall out as the hot, dry weather drive mice from high elevations downward for food and water; rattle snake nips would rally next; there will be exponential rise in bubonic plague incidence as wet Spring would favor flea-ridden rodents; shark attacks will spiral due to unreasonably warm sea temperatures; above-normal temperatures would maul Alaskan resources with a noticeable decline in the salmon harvest; and the weather altered phenomena will drive the warmest winter in American subcontinent in 25 years.
Wait! There is something more dreadful here. Earth has begun shifting its angular movement as a result of changing jet stream patterns. The day length has stretched by 0.2 milliseconds.
I wake up with a jolt-badly shaken and drenched in sweat. I could hear my heart pounding hard and blood thumping in my veins; a sinking gut feeling makes me very nauseated. What was that any way? See more see less type of warning about Judgment day perhaps? Shucks! Whatever that nightmare was about, mercifully it’s bubble only- for now. I sigh in relief and slump back. Its half past midnight and I’m all alive and kicking. I thank my lucky stars…Yeah! good times are still rolling for me.
So, what’s the takeaway? Few would think this freak’n’ throwback is no more than hard felt imagination. But if the heat this summer’s been bad enough for you, think of this backslide as your savior. It might just help set you up for more savage times ahead.
See… it took us more than 400 years to get used to the idea that the Earth is not the center of the universe, but it’s still unnerving. Antibiotics and vaccines have saved millions of lives, but aren’t some microbes evolving faster than we can find ways to fight them?
I‘ve survived SARS-CoV-2,two agonizing years of lockdowns, vaccinations, protocols, confinements and cutbacks and all the stuff. And honestly, I could no longer think that my grandparents had no idea how difficult life is; not really after knowing that they pulled through several wars and catastrophes.
Image source: pexels.com
Today, I live happily tired and anxious for what’s to come next. It’s been two years and we are living with the virus. Like many, I too have lost friends and relatives. It was a rough patch alright, but we’ve held on and pulled through.
You may come up with thousand and one reasons in argument but wouldn’t it be better to have a heart and save a little breath in a World that lives totally off-the-cuff? I think it’s the best we can do to endure and stop living our fears; it hurts nobody. Besides no time machine or a crystal ball is ever gonna tell you this; ‘Better days await us’.
And if this isn’t reassuring enough…Yep! there’s no way I could tell if you’d sleep easy tonight and thereafter.
I close my eyes for a moment when alone and try seeing the highlight reel of my life. A strange sense of serenity descends and fills me with contentment. Hard to say…is this for real? Have I found it at last? How am I to know that I ain’t at war with myself any longer and it’s the same happiness that everybody hopelessly stalks?
It’s a shame I couldn’t find honest answers then; but euphoria prevails to this day!
Some say it’s the peace of mind when you’re sheltered. For few it’s about decluttering and repairing to quickly find a new purpose. Others argue that it’s about accepting and letting go what’s baggy. My guess!… It’s what we do to stay normal in different moods to bring a desirable change; some squeaky clean happiness and peace of mind.
We all own a panic stricken mind even at the best of times. Not to say it’s a twisted temperament, but it makes people do pretty crazy things in life. I spent my early thirties clambering out of one catastrophe into another, behaving gross at times- chiding, berating and hurting others; often bad smelling with unnecessary lies! It was miserable but I wasn’t sorry for me or anybody. What the heck! This was my roost- my hallway of destruction and I loved being in it.
But there is another side to this story.
Behind all this carnage, I was a genuinely good hearted person. I always tried to be a nice somebody. Guess… it’s because I had nobody around to help me drop my snags and sorrows at dark times.
With crazy thoughts buzzing and booming in my head, I was sledged over and again by a creepy feeling- that of all the people I had hurt, it was no one more than me. I was aware that I had done enough awful things to regret later. It was like being ina kitchen with everything but no sink. I had no way to rinse off all the felony and cheating that was drowning me. More than anything, I was worried stiff that no one had the right answers that would help.
Incredibly, in the thick of all the alarms and chills unwittingly I had missed it altogether…!
It was so simple, I mean the fix! All I needed was to rearrange my headspace around few mindful things, be wary of what I decide to do every day, behave around them with integrity and try to keep my nose clean.
Not left with much choice, I went about securing my life telling myself- “If I’d manage myself with restraint, I would surely find a low-key-life free of conflicts and strife one day!”
Today, I remember thinking how excited I was- to have chosen a way out.
Know your heartsease
For many things, peace is slippery and difficult to catch. Clock keeps ticking 24×7 and so does everyday life but peace stays distant, unless we’ve chosen to be upright in actions and follow for a turnaround.
No matter how tough things were yesterday, today I hit the sack every night with a clear conscience and a wonderful sense of calmness crooning in my ears. I have learned to live and endure. It sure did take me time and trials before I could win. It wasn’t impassable for me. Laugh, swoon, cringe or sob, it won’t be any more difficult to you trying than it was to me.
Begin by evolving a habit of sticking to “next right thing” all the time. It may be difficult at first but some legwork is way better than to drift-off not attempting anything. There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain. Still…
If you think you may fail and couldn’t help slipping back to your old ways; don’t fret! Check for these oddities to know if you haven’t wandered far off and could rally back. See which one has added to your life that you aren’t aware of.
Count on me; you’d no longer need trying if you’ve made a hit!
Image source: pexels.com
You endure what you can’t change
Often events change course abruptly without forewarning that we wish hadn’t. It’s like conjuring things we’ve done in the past and wish we hadn’t. And there’s little we can do to fix them except hope that some good will turn out of it. It’s only a ‘Zen’ mindset that doesn’t worry much over the past or future or to make amends.
Of course not many of us are exalted like that but if you’re busy living peacefully then most likely you’ve learned not to over think; you’re done with the past and hardly worry about the future. Bills, work, health, anything and everything, do not torment you and you think there’s hardly anything you need to change.
Great! You’re free of worries and know well that stress and worry would only disparage your wellbeing. You are clever enough to know that thoughts aren’t for real and would hate sitting on them. You prefer to move on.
You’re inclined to take things as they come
Ask anyone who’s happy and content and you’ll know why it’s Ok not to resist what persists. Unexpected happens all the time in our lives. Fireballs keep falling in our lap every so often -its life.
But not you; you’re all set and face heartbreaks head on. You are aware that inevitable is fated to happen. So instead of struggling to fix things the way you want, you accept the way they happen knowing that this would turn out to be lot better than you’ve thought.
In all honesty, resisting change only makes it harder on us. My guess is …you’re flexible enough and would rather give way to changes.
And that’s your key to happiness.
Image source: ‘If you do these 10 things, you’re truly at peace with yourself’ by Wendy Kaur in ideapod.com
You choose to slow down
I’d say that most of us do not enjoy our present. With wandering minds, fleeting eyes we’d reach out to our phone every few minutes in the hope of momentary relief in busted situations. Besides with only an eye and half an ear to surroundings, it’s mostly boring and unexciting.
But you’re not a geek. You’d gladly take up pursuits that seek to slow you down, yet you’re alive to your surroundings. You’re fond of reading a book, tending front garden leaves you happy and you adore gleeful escapades in the kitchen. You revel in your mindfulness and admire arresting experiences. You enjoy talking to your friends, love long morning strolls and savor to interact around.
Slowing down sometimes wins us a heightened awareness of the present. You’ve set clear sights on the Circle of life!
You love yourself
You’re truly at peace if you love being YOU. Not full of yourself, smug or snooty, you don’t need many heads to have a good time or to reveal your best version. You’re genuinely contented and love your company. You’re perfectly happy and fulfilled when you go to sleep. In quieter moments you long to hang around with an old friend and yearn for one-on one chat.
Still not with me? If you’re not happy with what you have and what you’d love to do to make others happy, then it’s as much of a different journey as it is for others. There’s no single right way of doing things and experiencing happiness. But if you see smile on your partners’ face each morning; yearn for a cruise to Caribbeans with Fam and every night you cuddle in the bed clean handed; honestly deep down you’re fortunate to rest in peace and rejoice at heart.
Image source: sohib.indonesiabaik.id
Did you catch my drift? For all I know you could be on a couch stuffing your face with potato chips, pulling apart my bag of tricks and waiting for it to happen; but if it’s not your work, house, car, or everyday stuff that worries you- then you’ve bumped into it , unaware of your fortune.
Just stick together and … In time you’ll stand out big!
Your mind and body are clearly overwhelmed and you’re in serious need of ‘Alone time’.
It’s like any other typical evening; dinner is fixed but plenty is still happening in kitchen while you slouch in your favorite love seat in the living room and thoughtlessly surf net over your phone. Else, you could be on your day bed skimming through some run-down nonnews daily or folding linen in the bedroom. This is when your old lady drops in and asks you something that’s faint and inaudible. You couldn’t get anything as your neighbor’s canine has all at once decided to howl raucously outside.
Suddenly, your inner-voice crashes into a long uuuggghhh and you can feel adrenaline rising.
What’s that…what’s happening to you? You couldn’t fathom this right-away but if you’re any good in judging yourself; this is your body and brain begging for some “Alone” time.
Broadly said, it’s time to ‘unplug’.
It’s not only about spending time on your own!
Are you the one who often gets so busy that you’re not left with enough bandwidth to think about your own needs, let alone do anything about them? An eager beaver, you’re incessantly thinking about your work and worried that you might miss the chance to prove yourself, if you aren’t available 24×7. Childcare, eldercare, regular messy errands like paying bills, keeping the house clean; just about anything would jump to throttle your faintest desire to make time for yourself and your needs; all because you’re always on and would do little to change the way things happen to you.
On the face of, it’s looks repressive; like everything just gets thrown in your day. But not every messy moment is sign of sickness. Easy as it is you get caught up in this web of constantly doing things, most of the times you are drawn into the maelstrom-one way or the other. At best nothing hurts but it’s important to occasionally step away from it all, to ward off a complete collapse. That, of course would mean spending some time on your own with yourself. On the contrary by not allowing yourself the comfort of #me-time, you run the risk of a faster burn-out, both emotional and physical.
Fortunately, it’s not so hard to recognize the warning signs that you’ve pushed yourself far enough and it’s time to look after yourself well. By doing so you could top-off with some zip, calm your frayed nerves and enjoy the much-needed happiness. Your mind and body will thank you for properly looking after them!
Image source: ‘Atasi stres dengan 8 kegiatan Me Time ini, praktikkan, yuk!’ in sohib.indonesiabaik.id
Sometimes it’s better to take a step back!
Me time is all about being present with yourself; mind and body. It’s a conscious effort to revive and restore you. Even doing something as simple as having a bath, reading a book, going for a walk, performing yoga, getting your hair or nails done and so many more, can course-correct you put you back on rails when you’re alone with your thoughts and inattentive of your surroundings. Pep talk! Nah…believe this, our mind and body are entwined and hooked together and to work side by side, they need to be in sync. When they aren’t, stress and tension manifests as aches and pains in our body and throws everything out of gear.
I guess this explains why #me time is so important and how attempting it every so often would let you figure out the needs of your mind and body and answer likewise. You’d have successfully spent some quality ‘me time’ once you’ve set about a mid-course correction allowing yourself downtime to heal and recover.
Lucky for me, I recognized the early warning signs that I had pushed myself a bit too far just in the nick of time. I noticed that I hadn’t taken a break for long and was long overdue for some time on my own. I needed to make sure that I was pampering myself properly and not being tricked into believing that all’s well with me- one hundred percent!
So, what EXACTLY did I do to live out a better version of me?
It’s a buzzing world around us that makes it nearly impossible to line up some time for ourselves. There is always this revolving door of reasons that pushes ‘me time’ for tomorrow and when tomorrow turns today, everything stays unchanged.
Knowing why, how and when to schedule ‘alone time’ was what charted new bearings for me; a scrupulous good self care trail and an attempt to live out the best version of me.
Image source: ‘Making a lasting difference’ in jbjgroups.com on Feb.27, 2023
Again, this could be different for every one of us. We take time-off for ourselves in many different ways. We choose to wake up twenty minutes earlier than the rest of the family and spend a little bit of #me time with ourselves; many prefer a quick morning stroll and few more would love to take a day-off and be left unto themselves in peace.
To cut things short, following pursuits like deep breathing allowed my body to burn off stress induced Fight or Flight mode and reset it to Rest and Recap mode. Once reconnected with mind and body I became aware of every single part of me. And then I knew I was safe.
Contradictions for the most part are irrefutable but if you happen to have mind or body concerns, niggle and stabs and all the gross irascibility that goes with it, you need to delve into them first. Talking to your bosom silently brings comfort and helps quieting your insides.
Ask yourself what has gone wrong to cause the disquiet and look for antidotes to help heal. If there’s something that you cannot repair, that’s okay. Now you know for sure what’s hurting you that you cannot diminish of your own. Corner it and take help if you think that’s the cure or else box it up in the corner of your psyche. It will eventually wane and die down. Once done, it’s a quick note that you’re out of harm’s way.
I never knew all the answers, but accepting this unfamiliarity was in fact wonderfully informing. I was in tune with my mind and body at last. It was kinda hard, took a lot of efforts but ended well for me.
What are you waiting for? Don’t miss your window
Have you ever felt sorry for yourself for taking time off to be ‘Alone’? Do you wait anxiously for guilt pangs to drown you in an emotional grave all because you’ve set aside important work for some apparently thoughtless ‘past time’? I guess shaming yourself like this is gross and inundating. Caring for yourself is the only way to stay a cut above the rest in your life.
If you ask me, to be YOU in your ‘Alone time’ is your magic reset button.
So, go ahead; pamper yourself, take a nap, unplug social media, watch a movie, fete yourself, indulge in a hobby or simply sit idle -do nothing. Take life at your own pace. Go and relax in that comfortable chair in the verandah, chew over your thoughts, do some heart searching and I’m sure you’ll be fired up like never before. Start by giving yourself as little as 5 minutes of “me time”; it’s restorative and reviving but something like a day or more of quietness will change the way you live remarkably.
Image source: ‘ Reasons alone time is important in a relationship’ by Lilian Osigwe in 1stnews.com
Of course, nothing promises that you could ever be really “off.” But by watching over, you can be utterly sure that you have begun attending and taking care of yourself. “Always on” doesn’t have to be an end of your personal needs.
It’s just that spending few quieter moments to slacken would ensure that your life scales are not going to tip off center anytime soon.
Imagine this; you haven’t been sprinkling maca powder into your smoothie every morning and most likely haven’t heard of trendy super foods. You’ve somehow missed the fancies of living a clean life. So, does this gets you worked up? Forget it, if somehow you feel hammered. You can still roll out your sandwich and steak with salad greens and quell the sugary demons without being robbed of taste, texture or flavor. These aphrodisiacs that are sometimes known as super foods, always call the shots when there is a sinful longing for a mouth watering sweet indulgence.
And all the while your ‘mini mart mindset’ for ‘cheat food’ stays intact!
All that between a luxurious cake, a refreshing sorbet and yum dessert I guess, probably you have never thought of using health nuts, berries, beans, strawberries or red and green apples in your dessert plans for a potluck party. Quite so…normally we set aside health concerns when it comes to partying around and would readily pitch-in for scrumptious warped foods. We would never even glance over to the stuff that infallibly packs in a guaranteed delight of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and healthy fats.
Café, grill, pit stop or beanery; each one of them is a delicious way to treat ourselves to some of the most flavorsome food. But when health is a top concern and we’re faced with making more nutritious choices—the fabled pick of an ambrosial platter stays off-limits.
There are though several ways to usher in the delightful luxury of a bonne bouche dessert to the table if you’re thinking of partaking next Jacob’s Join. Both trendy and easy to make, these desserts vow not to trade off anything hurtful. And you don’t always need butter, eggs or cream to invent something that’s both sweet and rich but not sinful. Once you’ve stocked your pantry with few simple ingredients, kicking-off few knockout desserts is not difficult. Simply swap coconut oil with butter, set aside ground flaxseed in place of eggs and find some space for a bottle of pure maple syrup in your kitchen shelf. You’ll be surprised to find what you don’t miss one bit!
If and when you’re seriously thinking of working over an incredibly flavorful dessert fix for your next potluck rendezvous, be sure to keep in mind that what constitutes ‘healthy’ would mean differently for everybody; so much so that ‘gluten’ may not have as many diggers as ‘sugar’ and someone watching for carbs might be pro-dairy!
Of all the frozen treats and crisps and cakes and croissants and many more twisty decadent desserts, none though guarantees never-like-before confetti flavors as these classic plant-based lust-after delights do. Every bite is simply a heaven sent experience!
Chocolate Bundt Cake
This could turn out to your favorite potluck pick not only because you can slice it small enough for everybody to get a piece but also because this show-stopping dessert is an absolute party runner. Soft, moist, fudgy and topped with a decadent chocolate ganache, this rich chocolate cake is no less than an oldwine for chocolate connoisseurs. The moist crumb melts straightaway in the mouth!
Crammed with cocoa powder, butter, oil and sour cream, this cake is one helluva luxurious crowd-pleaser. The bundt pan makes it all the more inviting though in reality it’s incredibly simple to make! A total grandstander, this cake is meant for a perfect after meal celebration. Ultimate in chocolate dessert, there is no stopping you to fall in love with this cream cheese frosting laden cake. If you want more amplified levels here then try a moister, crumbly and irresistibly delicious red velvet one?
Avocado Cake with Orange-Ginger Icing
Image source: ‘Easy ginger avocado cake with lemon drizzle’ in fabfood4all.co.uk
Avocado tops my chart of super foods for a good reason. Packed with vitamins and minerals, this pear-shaped tropical butter fruit with green or blackish skin and rich yellowish nutty flavor pulp, promises loads of healthy monounsaturated fatty acids. Its smooth creamy texture with a neutral flavor, blends well with pies and pastries and makes for an easy substitute for butter.
Utterly moist and delicious this super food hipster cake is an unmatched, gluten free exotic blend of whole-meal spelt flour, olive oil, Greek yogurt, ginger and oranges and tots up as a health food in kitchen bibles and cookery books.
Gorgeously textured and yum flavors, this frosted cake is any time anywhere winner and is a top pick in Café’s and Diners amongst the list of some of the highly acclaimed hot off the fire desserts. If you’re by any chance a pâtisserie buff with a fluky love for ginger, spices and tangy oranges, a bite of this flavor-burst would surely be a lasting experience for you.
So, now if you’ve chosen this as an impressive dessert choice for your upcoming potluck soirée; you may breathe easy. And don’t forget to stow away a slice of this delight for you might be tempted to celebrate solo later!
Chocolate Greek Yogurt Mousse
Image source: ‘Greek Yoghurt Chocolate Mousse’ by Raquel Neofit in stayathomemum.com.au
Mousse is commonly made with whipped egg whites and heavy cream; but not in here. If you’re looking for a healthier, easy to spin-off version in place of some traditional clone- this is where your quest ends. This rich, velvety easy to whip-up divine dessert makes use of bittersweet chocolate chips, Greek yogurt, cinnamon, ginger, turmeric, raspberries and a splash of almond extract. Packed with probiotic and calcium, Greek yogurt is the primary component in this super food dessert. Chocolate with around 70% cacao turns this sweet-course richer in antioxidants. And the added honey and spices lend it a unique flavor to rack up few more health benefits!
With a buttery flaky cinnamon spelt crust- pulled together from grain spelt, cinnamon, vanilla bean custard filling, and juicy berries – just about every ingredient rallies around to turn this berry tart into an ultimate super food dessert! A sumptuous and delicious way to showcase a classic luxuriant last course, this dessert is all warm and inviting with trimming of blueberries on top and a lush blend of heavy cream, sugar and vanilla for garnish. The sweet insides crow of a silky smooth mix of açaí puree, sugar and egg yolk, all gorgeously coming together in butter.
Prepping here though calls for a lot of patience with the process. Simply cooking low and slow does the trick and ensures that you don’t end up with sweet, scrambled eggs! Once done, this sweet indulgence guarantees your friends an ecstatic raving experience.
Like I said earlier …you’d never get short of awesome culinary ideas only if you are eager to rummage a little and ready to combine food with fettle. With unique flavors and added nutritional punch, you can always put together a triple whammy super-food dessert anytime. So, set out…and your upcoming potluck soiree would have something for everybody to talk about later!
Dessert is typically not the first thing that would cross your mind when you’re weighing options for a sweet course and would even hardly consider a mindful use of super foods. But if somehow you can pack nutrient rich ingredients in here without compromising on texture and flavors and come out with some incredible unsullied sweet indulgence, then why not?
My phone buzzed and a notification popped in. A big grin crossed my face. It was an invitation for lunch-an easy-going one and… I jumped for it. It wasn’t from an old time school friend or a long standing college mate or some long forgotten face from Office days. Incredibly, it was from a new pal-one that I had struck friends a year ago before I undocked and stepped down from the Office.
And all the while I was thinking my friend circle was a final thing; all wrapped up! Months after breaking free and with not much to share around, I was finding it so difficult to sit tight amid all that was happening around. I tried to live up to each moment but would often stifle. Aging to me then appeared like a heresy that I would never want any part of. In short going was getting tougher each day. It frightened to remind myself that not long before I also might be faced with short wheezing breaths, limping fatigue and wilting fortitude that would wreck me to the end. As with everything springtime friendship also suffered as frailty gained.
Was time really running short to live life to the fullest and thrive or was I merely imagining worse?
If my oldest friendships were home then my friendship in mid-50s with Pete is a whole nine-yard company that thrives to this day. He’s someone who would acknowledge my weird innate weakness for Viking sequels or sci-fi thrillers of the kind of Interstellar. He understands the funny part of me; that I prefer my tea sugar free; that I wouldn’t want to stay out after sunset and that I hate darkness for I fear it would it hound me with gloom and obscurity.
Sometime in early 2012- I had just turned 53 then, things began to get coarse; career calling was crushing; work relations were plummeting; woes burned high and whenever I’d try bring around my straggling inner-circle, I would drift-off and be easily overwhelmed. Social media updates seemed illusory. I abhorred and could never give–in to the idea of a reality where you could somehow catch-up with people flesh-out. The unending streams of lead-ins were scarier. Wasn’t this unreal intrusion close enough to another baptism of web community? It felt crass and unwitting.
Three years after I had hung gloves I needed reminding myself that I ought to double time efforts to stay connected; not just online but in person as well. I guess this was about time to run free and reveal who I truly was; or at worse hide all my twitching inhibitions and annoying worries. Search me…I would have loved to die for a freedom that didn’t need any approval.
Here and now was the time to connect with people in all honesty and openness.
Image source: ‘It’s not just you: Making friends after 60 is really hard’ by Kelsey Borresen in huffpost.com
Making friends as an oldster was the best thing that I ever did!
I still remember, at my 20th birthday bash I had anxiously looked around for the people who’d make effort to come and celebrate my day. In many ways it was no different than other birthdays that had come and gone before; the ensemble that day was no bigger than six or seven people; no more. I could recall that a handful of them went an extra mile to try and make it worthwhile for me.
Curiously, by my late thirties I was barely left with anyone whom I had befriended as a grad. And it showed. As lovely a person as they were, we no longer had much left in common.
So, couple of years before I was to bid adieu to my Office and fade out into obscurity-I was 58 now-I deliberately set out to make new friends. Honestly, I would get lost whenever I began counting ones that I had left. Most of them were by now settled for good. I was worried that I might get forlorn and unhappy. I needed to meet new people who would think and talk the same way about life as I did. I think I was trying to reach out and grab some more possible alternatives for future happiness!
It didn’t matter much earlier but it does now…
I had never expected of me to make friends like this. I would fear that my experiment would end up lamely and I’ll be left with only a few fun evenings with strangers to talk about; no more. It wasn’t easy– nerves, awkwardness, insecurities just about everything were fired up in me. Yet I was pretty sure of one thing-‘ it’s never too late to try and open up to a new pact’.
Admittedly not all of them worked out well for me either. As charming and enchanting encounters as they were, few just didn’t click and then there were those who couldn’t handle my candid chat.
No matter what, it ended up being the best year I’ve ever had.
The sweetest thing to happen though was that I learned to open up and share my insecurities with those who chose to come near and share. It paid off and now I have mates who wouldn’t wink for anything and I hate to call them sidekicks. We‘re bosom friends and for once the bedrock is much stronger. The after–rush feels wonderful and I simply can’t wait to make more new ones every time I go out.
Image source: pexels.com
You probably need more friends if you feel empty and alone
There are many ways to feel less lonely but there is no substitute for the company of real friends. When life takes a turn for worse and you get lonely and naively couldn’t keep your inner-circle intact; it’s time to fraternize and pal-around!
As we grow older it gets hard to stay in pace with our surroundings. Time and people move ahead in their usual celerity. With creaking bones, sagging skin and advancing frailty it’s harder to go out, catch up with old friends or make new ones. Add to that the uncertainty of how and your inclination to make friends; every attempt would appear unnavigable.
Yet, I took to staying alive; sat tight in pervert times and held on to my horses. And in turn I got hold of some new good friends in the end. Surprisingly I knocked up some stronger ties overtime than I’d imagined I ever could.
Here’s how;
Boomer or Gen-X; you can draw people closer
It is natural to tend to be closer to people who are at similar life stage. When you’re busy raising family you’ve always have had a lot to talk about with others. But when it’s time to hang gloves, suddenly you find you’re more interested in spending time with those who are considering their own off-ramps. Life actually begins to change when you’re off tethers and there’s not much left to share around.
It was not long, before it occurred to me that reaching out to a person of very different age would make it less likely that I’ll be friends anytime sooner.
But what the heck; Do I need to stop at 60? I thought otherwise and so I reached out and invited an easily-forgettable face of an ex-fellow worker over a cuppa Joe. I also accepted when I was invited out in return. To make it sound conclusive, we later decided to turn it around again by inviting each other out to lunch or coffee.
If it ain’t broke, I was beginning to have much fun. Perhaps this was close to living life as richly as possible. Whatever… it’s not long before I was quickly finding my schedule filled with good people hanging around me.
Filling-in and hanging around helps
Opening up to a complete stranger was awkward and sometimes felt intrusive, but hobnobbing with everyday ordinary questions did help break the ice in an unfamiliar way. ‘What’s that coffee drink you’re ordering? How’s that book you’re reading?’ Of course it was a long haul before I could hear the bells ringing. It was comforting to share and listen anyway. It’s only now I could understand why it took me close to 3 days of hanging around, going Dutch and some deep conversation before I could strike a friendship.
Bonus…! Beyond a few virtual happy hours, I simply adored the split and enjoyed a meaningful connection.
I observe, recognize and appreciate as we stay hooked to pursuits together to this day.
Count on this for your first crinkly smile
Bet your bottom dollar if you know how to build upon the trust on others. I guess it’s reciprocal and usually begins with sharing. Revealing to others and watching them to open up in turn was how I would take to building trust with an acquaintance. It’s quite a refreshing flattery but I was never upbeat about stepping forward and letting things happen in the first place. I knew that the deeper is my level of trust the more likely I’ll strike a lasting friendship. Nothing will go south if I don’t screw anything right down the road; and I must try fitting in.
Soon I stopped living my fears and could finally shrug off that riling unease. I took to sharing and opened up.. Good times had finally rolled-in. It was time to live life plus-size with some new mates around.
Image source: pexels.com
I guess I never outgrew the person I was when I first made friends. Years later, no matter how changed I’m today, my friends still think of me as a more broken version of the person they had known. If I am sitting in the patio sipping my morning mud, they aren’t wondering what has happened to the rollicking, impudent, Cafe hopping fellow of decades ago.
I am always on the hunt for lifestyle choices that can decelerate aging for me; or at least make me appear seemingly ageless. If Christie Brinkley –the American model, actress, and entrepreneur could pass for 49 at 69 then why couldn’t I? Brinkley born on 2nd Feb.1954 and mother of three had caught worldwide attention and fame when she appeared in ‘Sports Illustrated Swimsuit’ on an unprecedented three consecutive covers in 1979, 1980, and 1981.
Some of this awe is owed to genetics of course; you just don’t get to be a pin-up gal without being generously endowed in that area. But when I looked closer at her way of life, I’m like; “Ok, this might be for me.” I’m no Bruce Springsteen who stays cut at 70 but what the heck! What’s there to stop me to stay fit as a fiddle when over the hill?
At 64, I think I’ve learned this out the hard way.
For all of us, the clock ticks and with each tick comes the change. For few who manage to stay shy of major health problems, the change is slow and gradual but they do add up; that is at some stage in life you do give up and let Father Time take its toll.
Hard to swallow but the decline for each one of us sets in as early as in our 30s. The max attainable heart rate mellows by one beat per minute per year and heart’s peak capacity begins its downward slide by 5-10 percent per decade; that is if you have managed to stay unspoiled and undiminished of illnesses by now. Even so, a healthy heart that can pump 2.5 quarts a minute at 25 cannot get above 1.5 quarts as you reach 65 and drifts down further to only a quart if you could still kick-well at 80. In everyday life this means slow and imperceptible fatigue that drains you out even with modest activity. Not conspicuous or noticeable in early years but it endures and progresses as you age.
I’m on a bit of a low right now coming off some enormous obligations that have unwittingly compelled me to always keep my worries of nine-to-fiveslogover health. Endless travels, wing meals and little time for everything else has taken its toll and has left me feeling and looking as crappy as I have since before I let myself be harried by that insane Office rush.
To this day I think I’ve had enough of my busy repetitive life. It feels bizarre nowadays and it has left an indelible telling effect on how things would work out for me henceforth. It’s not so much that I care how it makes me look. Skinny guy genetics have somewhat kept things under control. It’s what outer slump was signaling about what was going inside that made me pitch for a way to turn around. It made me worry about what would eventually happen were I to look around and say “Ah screw it, I’m too busy to eat right and work out.”
So, I borrowed burrowed and browsed neck deep to get a little artsy and to think more clearly how to have a better quality of life. I hitched my pants up to brush, floss and rinse and outsmart Father Time. I didn’t chose to do less for I knew “resting meant rusting”.
Consequently I went about removing the rust of aging. And in the process I think I have taken back some of my time!
Feature credit: pexels.com.
The Brinkley way is fascinating!
It’s easy to blame low mood or fatigue on aging, but sometimes aging is not that woeful. Feeling constantly exhausted or depressed is not normal at any age in any case.
And it’s not justdiet as well.
In reality living a meaningful life is not as hard as it sounds; you just need to practice few of the health choices that kept Brinkley fit and allowed her to live a very active outdoorsy life. Of course, as with Springsteen you need to adjust your activity to compensate for your age. If Brinkley’s boss had to quit running for the stress was tearing him apart, so should you, if it hurts! That sounds somewhat limiting but it would not stop you from staying outside and be active. See…Brinkley spends a lot of time on her bike tooling around the island where she lives per se!
Pushing yourself a bit when you feel the need to get more done, walking daily, gardening more often, taking your pet dog out for a quick stroll regularly and keep yourself moving through the day; just about everything bodes well to help you stay focused, appreciate small things, and connect with yourself and others.
I sometimes allow myself to cheat a wee bit when my body tries to tell to be otherwise but I never forget, “There is something to this for sure!”; andthat only I can make my life more sprightly and meaningful.
Today, I live it out by myself and witness how life has changed for better.
Getting older is “the next normal”
No one really tells you the hardest part of getting older; that growing old is inevitable and that it bears a fearsome reputation. Plainly, nobody can stop the clock. Most you can do is to slow its tick and endure life with grace and vigor. Like I said, everybody desires to live long but no one wants to be old.
Does any of this makes you curious about what sets older people apart from the rest when it comes to them living a happy purposeful life? What is there in it for you other than an upbeat outlook about getting older?
Aging involves changes in every element of life- from physical and social to mental and emotional and sometimes more. For boon or bane it’s your choice if you would maximize the good parts of you getting older without betraying health and happiness and help reverse the age related physical loss.
So, don’t snooze your life away.
Image source: depositphotos.com
Knowing what changes with age is probably our first step towards finding ways to stay active and help us take consistent control of our choices rather than be at the mercy of what is simply convenient.
Right from waking up, freshening up, shaping up, eating and studying up; just about everything you do, decides for you how you’ve chosen to power your day. Even somewhat inconsequential everyday actions like changing clothes, brushing teeth, reviewing to-do-list, writing a few notes in diary, reading or meditating or going to sleep, fates how you’ve picked-up things to shape your life, you’re yet to live.
It didn’t go exactly as planned every day for me sometimes. But when unexpected interrupted, I chose what portion to cut that day. It worked as kinda default plan for me to endeavor and surprisingly, it endured. It helped me move quicker each morning than I otherwise would have. I would no longer simply wake up befuddled and struggle trying to think of what to do next to be ready.
Assay, and try setting a few personal routines to filter out your options. In time, you’ll be able to unscramble insights to uphold you and turn time your servant from a stingy demanding taskmaster. If you’re to sincerely believe that power lies in each of us to make good things happen-if we choose to do so, then it’s not long before you’ll get to take a slice of your time back.
Image source: depositphotos.com
True, time is plentiful that vanishes in the end. But it’s certainly not happening today or tomorrow or day after, once you’ve decided to get busy gathering yourself. For all I know, only you’re the best steward of your time and choices.
Jedi or not, trust me you can walk away from Father Time if you settle down not to squander your hours doing nothing to change it.
Looking back if you happen to see incomplete dreams and a scattered life and want to level up and become unstoppable in 2023, you really have to set yourself up and get clear on what you’ve done so far and what you’re really going for. I’m guess… perhaps you need to rewrite your normal space! The BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) that you had so solemnly vowed to on New Year’s Eve, needs to be reset to keep away the same garbage that has so far spoiled all that you have coveted.
Starting something new is simple and sometimes easier than you presume but enduring it is a whole other ball game. There is no set timeline for embracing change. It’s solely your call to begin and accept that it may take some effort and commitment. Whatever… it’s never late to slug your failings at any point of time!
If ongoing uncertainties make you cautious enough not to plan ahead, you may very well understand that your struggle is just the right kinda motivation to realize your dreams. Refocusing, changing and making a new start on something left half way- no matter how small, is a big deal! Like many, you may have started out great in January but somehow lost the urge partway and now have trouble building up the same excitement again.
Like I say…it’s not entirely impossible to happen and definitely not to a single person. You’re never alone. With the right kind of stick-to-it attitude it can be done. Still if you slip-up, don’t let go. Acquit yourself and pick up from where you had stumbled. You’ll walk the whole nine yards unbeaten.
Seriously how would you know what’s worth pursuing? Honestly I didn’t but in heart I knew there’s always a way to help. Little did I realize then that a big uptick was slated to happen to my half-baked wishes!
This is how it went for me;
Starry-eyed, I fell for the means and not the end.
Six months down the line, I was getting sick of setting goals at the beginning of the years and then not strangely not meeting them! Like everybody else I too would prep my holy grail at the onset of a new year and get aimed to get there. I knew it was going be infinitely hard to follow through, should I falter mid way. But excitement of trying hand on unknown is always pushy. Besides I wasn’t feeling bullied!
Just like anybody else my daily grind had become an annoying drudgery. I suspected I had become a slave to it. For once all I wanted was to know if I can turn around my slog into something specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. And the last thing I wanted to do was to work backwards. Yet it happened. Half year down I had done little and pulled-off little.
So I went granular and broke one year plan into three and one month plans. I had already lost much time. By planning to check-in with myself throughout the remaining half, I was making sure not to derail again. This way I could make adjustments instead of waiting till next January. It made my nightmare appear accessible. I was beginning to believe in what’s possible and what I could do. For once, my hazelnut had turned on its bough!
I quit dreaming outside my normal space
It didn’t take me long to take a hard look at what was really driving me especially when reality was messy and whole lot of half-done wishes were staring at me squarely. I remember, I was at half way mark! I somehow felt compensating for the unmet wishes? Was I dreaming badly when I fancied myself being on stage in front of scores of people cheering me for following my choices to the end? For not fantasizing weirdly I was working outside my ordinary everyday space. I hadn’t tried firsthand podcasting a new series or writing a song that would sound raucous over beat box!! Vaguely, everything sucked but it was telling!
So what was that that I needed to keep pushing me?
I guess following dreams isn’t always the best answer. Of course, we are beaten all over our heads that we should follow and pursue them passionately and turn reality into something that will make us happy. Be it a new career, you hoping to be the best-dressed person at a party, or dating a woman halfway around the planet; my guess is that we owe it to ourselves to go out and get it. Achieve that and they will finally make you happy once and for all.
Image source: ‘Why you keep having recurring dreams and what it means’ by Kristen Rogers in kake.com
Then there is another side to this. When you follow your dreams and they somehow don’t work out for you, your disappointment turns into anger- not necessarily at somebody but at reality. In no time everything becomes “immature and unappreciative.” Hard to admit but sometimes your dreams too become those things. But just as you have always been, don’t be the last one to find out that your desires have outwitted you. As is, its one heck of a job to deliver half baked desires once you’ve hit the half way mark. It could be a mile high to climb the top but it need not be next January for you to check out. Simply pick up the lost threads and the end will be far more interesting than you’d have thought.
It took me a long time to discover that I stumbled because didn’t want to climb. I just wanted to imagine the top. I’ve since then discovered that rock star fantasy has less to do with actual rocking. It implies a period of mental indulgence- not a driving need.
Image source: ’11 habits of ridiculously likeable people’ by Travis bradberry in theladders.com
This is why you need to be open in mindset before you hitch your pants for the rough ride ahead; what of that heck if June mocks you? Sometimes it’s better to deal with your shit right away and not wait for that extra moment for things to fall in place.
Just don’t stretch yourself much lest you may waste all away. Someday it’ll be sunshine again!
It’s 7.00 am. The stage is all set for a long grueling day ahead. I had hit the snooze button and now I’m running late for everything. I haven’t had my cup of morning brew. Unsure, I plan for it later in the day and dash out of the front door to Office.
Damn! it’s 8.30 already.I wish to perish; I can’t reset my day!
My annoyance heaps as I hit brakes and the car careens to a halt at a green light unexpectedly turning red. Half awake and peppery I have missed my cup of morning mud and now that dump feeling is killing me. Grumpy and low, I couldn’t think straight for now except fancy a blast-of-a-cup of steaming hot aromatic frothy pick-me-up caffeine. Seconds blink at intersection stop light and my misery runs deep. Am I panicking? Is the worst yet to come? I could absolutely hear my heart pinging! Nothing much to do but sit it out, I take a deep breath and glower hatefully at everything around me.
And then something catches my eye. Chaayos on my left and Starbucks on my right; both seemed to be madly beckoning my either shoulder and none looked ready to lay back even for a sec. Already thinking of the drub ahead, for a moment I could see the ghosts of the two brewing giants battling it out right there for a witless win !
The stupor fades quickly. The car behind me has honked hard for no reason.
The indignation comes back and this time it’s ruthless. I’m pissed and couldn’t decide what and how my day is going to be? Right now I have no ears for the angel and the devil. There’s no way I can park my car anywhere near. Besides who’s got the time to think about which one is going to make my day? I definitely need something that’s more than a brew but again will have to wait for the moment. Worried like hell, I could feel the wrathful gaze of my manager inching up my neck already . He’s nuts! He desperately wants to strip me in public for anything. Dumbed down? Yeah! …that’s exactly the chance he’s waiting to pounce upon that I’m won’t let him have. I won’t be jammed or squeezed or squashed!
I push the gas pedal hard …lights are green again.
There’s so little to contemplate. I mean it’s a normal thing happening in everyday life of most of us. Sometimes you nail it; at others the twist ruins the day. It’s not much of a feat I’d say …to talk so much about your choice of brew but I sincerely doubt if you could decide on what would really get you that aesthetic pleasure you so intensely crave for when you need it most.
Tea or Coffee; let’s see how accurate is your choice?
Image source: istockphoto.com
Who’s the Gucci here!
I guess there are only few things more comforting in this world than a cup of tea. Steaming hot, softly aromatic, delicately sweetened and deliciously frothed, I simply love it…more in the morning. Home made it tastes best. It props me up fast and breathes new life in my day. Newly steeped, it tastes utterly divine to me. Incidentally, I’ve read somewhere; 92-96°C is the best water temperature for it to brew perfectly. With so much of flavor and enthralling aroma hitting your senses, life suddenly tends to appear bigger and better. So I wait a moment for the water to boil. I’m certain of the upshot and not worried about what pours out in my cup!
With so many flavors and textures to choose from it doesn’t matter which tea leaves you put in your pot; the storm in the cup will never fail to happen. Small wonder, I can’t go wrong with something that simply is never out of style.
Tea isn’t just a beverage. It’s the stuff that kicks off cheers anywhere anytime. It’s the habit to struggle out of morning slumber; it’s the apology to get out of the Office for some free air; it’s the aft-dinner fixation to sip chamomile or jasmine tea; it’s the warm succor to help unwind after a long day.
Tea is a great mix of camaraderie, calm and ceremony in equal measure.
Today it has over 3000 varieties savored worldwide. First and foremost taken as a medicine, today bazillions of cups invigorate countless people everyday. But it’s more of the health benefits that bucks-up its approval. Polyphenols in almost every tea variety increases our metabolism, helps in weight loss, prevents age related cellular damage, lowers cholesterols and reduces heart risk. Antioxidants like catechins, theaflavins and thearubigins in black tea promote good heart health. Rooibos tea has strong antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties and helps in stopping allergies like rhinitis and asthma from triggering, reduces inflammation and joint pains, repair collagen and connective tissue joints and control or prevent diabetes!
Did you know that people who consumed four cups of black tea daily had 32% lower risk of heart diseases than those who drank no tea! that a cup of jasmine tea contains 15-60 mg of caffeine that stimulates the nervous system by inhibiting adenosine –a neurotransmitter to slow down the central nervous system; that green tea slackens the growth of cancer cells and lower the risk of Alzheimer and Parkinson’s!
Now that you have learned about your surety against ill health so well, doesn’t your cup taste sweeter? Or is it your weakness for a fluffy, silky smooth and warm …hell no! I’m not talking about the bed, but the delicious, frothed, silky smooth cup of goodness that makes you swoon with craving? Bustling with bitterness alkaloid caffeine, coffee is damn well good in energizing and packs enough of jolt of excitement to ride you through the day.
Image source: pexels.com
Of birds and bees and the morning brew
Since when what was raised as a coffee filter bag, a good hand filtered coffee has never run backwards- not for love nor money! Even brewed at somewhat crowded not so clean gas stations that eternally smell of diesel and desperation and not for a moment stop gloating over day old poor donuts that peer miserably out of glass shelves; the unmistakable aroma and flavor never seems to go wrong. No matter what and how it is made, the result is always delicious.
Speaking of which; did you know that coffee beans grow bigger and better when the birds and the bees join forces to pollinate coffee plants? Incredibly this trade-off with nature is what ensures you a mug of strong flavored, absolutely delicious creamy happiness each time you reach out for one.
Coffee is not important merely because it perks up your senses fast. It is a brew that’s about sharing and lovin’. Its soft, sweet toned bitterness heightens the enjoyment of the moment and instantly warms you up. The smell and flavor of a perfect mug is ever more exciting when aroma from a freshly made pot wafts through and arouses your senses strongly. With raw beans roasted to perfection and a sheer blend of flavors and spices doubling up, wouldn’t this be your drink of the memories! Freak’n diverse in flavors and textures, it’s hard to gather if you want your mug to keep you on your toes or let it be an easy pleasurable brew of comfort.
Whatever… it’s never good to knock something or someone out of the bill. Give me the simple, honest charm of Chaayos or Bubba’s Bubble Tea or Boldly Brewed and I wouldn’t want to sip my morning stimulant in a place that would make me feel mogul but digs deep in my pocket. Discounts, rewards, free coffees, endless extras, honestly Starbucks simply wouldn’t find its way into my cup. My quaint tea joint at least keeps it real simple; wouldn’t know your name and couldn’t care less!
Then there is so much of fresh food! What better place to fill yourself up? Bubba’s & BBsof course! Search me! I wouldn’t want to miss some fiery explosive food even at 7 in the morning?
Image source: pexels.com
So next time you’re faced with the age old choice between Tea and Coffee, just remember; an artsy ceramic mug or a patchy Styrofoam cup-it’s all and only about getting the right kickwhen you need it most!
I chose and reset my favorite to a place that doesn’t want me to learn Italian to get caffeinated.
If you love something, you need to let go of yourself head-first into it and then only you’d feel what love really is!
Like most people, I too have a bucket list of inspired foodie things that make my life happier. Pie crusts, breads, foam cakes, real and rough puff pastry, custards, meringues, pâte à choux to name a few; I am not madly in love with all of them, but if I can find them turned out the way they are meant to, well…that makes my day! I tend to enjoy them and the satisfaction that I get is intense and enough for me. Sometime I wish I should have had a chance at some good patisserie learning. For now…the little wooden table at the charming little tuck-away Café in my residential neighborhood, is my sole bake house, my school and my galley for bench tests. Some of my first hand aha-moments happened there!
Of course, I’m in no race at judging food. I am no food critic except that I count on differentiating good food from bad. In the process, sometimes I stumble; at times it’s my bad when I conclude poorly over taste and smell. At others I simply throw my hands up in despair for having indulged and yet remarking appallingly. But I bounce back sooner or later. I have succeeded often and now know how to make my day. I guess this is my journey and I have myself only to count upon. These little triumphs are my big highs and fair enough to make me a little better than yesterday. If you ask me I’d say most things are easy once you get the hang of them. Yet few little things are always left behind that you could try your hands anytime.
Image source: ‘New restaurant coming to West Palm Beach: An all-day café with Australian inspirations’ by Liz Balmaseda in palmbeachpost.com
Bringing about a difference to the day without fuss, is one decent success that none of us chronicles! And what better way to attempt it than with a simple but skilled plate of no fuss-all flavors food to turn around. Swipe right: this might be love I was talking about!
Baked, brewed and beautiful, there are certain foods that go a step further in enhancing your enjoyment leaving you marveling at the intense sweetness of the moment! From Mango Chili macaroon and Pesto Chili Cheese to Croissants with a crunch, all over a sip of warm cappuccino freshly made from premium coffee beans-every bit of them are cranked up to make your bite an ambrosial spree of sweet and savory. Endeavor… and it sure would quite hit the spot for you.
Wine and cheese or donuts or cookies, paired with coffee is so familiar in bistros nowadays that these comely combos are lovingly accepted everywhere. You are good to go anytime except that you’d still miss the upper crust if you don’t get to savor the exquisiteness!
Freshly baked buttery and flaky, croissants are the ultimate coffee companion. A buttery one filled with vanilla or chocolate pastry cream or apricot jams and paired with a foamy warm cappuccino never fails to put the smile on any face. And what better way to pair your sides or goodies than with an all-stirring, delicately aromatic and heartwarming cup of coffee!
Image source:’Tatte Bakery & Cafe’ by Amy Fukuizumi in thefoodlens.com
Come to think of it…coffee never ceases to amaze me. It tastes a little like blackberry but it so good; it’s my happiness. This caramelly, chocolaty dark brew with bitter earthy notes of roasted almond is what makes my day start right. Blessed and obsessed I love my cup of morning mud to be strong, fragrant and deeply rich in taste. It helps me feel motivated. It sponsors good mood and keeps my sunny side up all day long. I am no Coffee Sommelier but …sometimes I wish my Mondays to be a wee bit short! Somehow it helps wither my blues.
Brewing a coffee doesn’t sound like a great kitchen fix or baking inspiration but this is one fiddle that goes particularly so well with bite-size croissant at tea time that I would rather call it coffee time instead. The one bad thing though about it is that you’ll probably want more of mini croissants after you wash down your first bite with that indulgent frothy, silky smooth cup of thrill. So, watch out for the inches that would rush to your front porch.
Gut and belly aside, I simply love indulging it. My creaky wooden table at the Café appears delightfully inviting when the aroma from the pot of freshly brewed coffee brings together all the comforting flavors and aromatic notes of cappuccino to it. Next what arrives would make anybody go weak at knees. My beaut would get ever more tantalizing! An indulgent coffee pastry cream topped with whipped cream would unmistakably fetch sensuous notes of cappuccino together and make my heart skip for a beat.
Image source: “Cappuccino croissant stock photos’ in depositphotos.com
So much so for me…but whichever version you get at your local bistro, once you take a bite of mini-all-butter-flaky croissants dipped well into the silky cream, the exotic flavors will have you rooted to this all time seriously good combo!
To many this probably wouldn’t sound original but the thing is that when your coffee is paired properly, you’re able to taste enhanced flavors of both the coffee and the food. Seriously, this duo is your best bet for a delightful treat if you’re in a hurry and crave for something sweet…and savory to wash down with a cup of hot invigorating and refreshing cappuccino. The bitterness of the coffee unmistakably complements the sweetness of buttery flaky croissant when you actually dunk it into your coffee. This long time unique flavor combination stands tall amongst any-time-swell-standouts and never disappoints.
So, why not do what I believe we all are freak’n good at? Dive-in your bagel or tart or phyllo into a cup of steaming hot smooth Joe and experience the joy of intense flavors swoon your palate and rush down your senses like never before. I’m sure as hell…!!
Tea as they say isn’t just a beverage. It’s the stuff that sets the ball rolling for celebrations across the world. It’s a morning habit of countless people to kick start their day. It’s an excuse to get out of the Office, hang around with friends and let go for a while. It’s an after-dinner warm succor to help unwind after a long day. It’s the brew that blends companionship, calmness and ceremony, all in equal measures.
Depending on what kind of tea you drink, when and with whom, there are very few things in this World to beat the comfort of a piping hot cup of tea, especially when the freshly brewed, hot, mildly sweet cuppa chai accompanies a plateful of freshly baked toasts slathered with peanut butter and honey or come with delectable toast toppings!
I adore toast. I love it hot and brown and crisp with butter or topped with a slice of cheese melted to perfection. My knees weaken at the thought of a toast spattered with peanut butter and honey and if it’s doable …brown sugar!
Image source: ‘Toast & Milk Tea’ in foodnetworks.org
Toast and tea at five-o’clock teatime has an old hand tradition and dates back to as early as 1840s. Anna, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, and her coterie of ladies of the court would sit together for an afternoon treat of tea, sandwiches, scones, and cakes. What began as a preferred pick-me-up tea time by the duchess then, was fated to set the stage for a ‘big time –great guns’ experience for every tea enthusiast in years to come.
It’s hard to tell whether it’s a fascination for things that carried a hint of nobility or people looking for an out-of-the-ordinary-way to entertain or just an undying love for dainty sandwiches and scrumptious muffins. But one thing is unmistakably true. There is something very homey about the smell of freshly brewed tea and bread baking. The faint whiff is so inviting and equally hard to ignore!
As always, a perfect toast made from whole grain bread is a big time temptation and tastes delish with tea…pub tea or your grand hotel tea, it doesn’t matter.
Image source: stock.adobe.com
All the while, the skill of preparing a perfect toast was developing greatly and had been quickly changing hands till today it is a commonplace item of interest in every kitchen. Maybe the ease of preparing this simple treat for tea time is another reason why it has gathered so much favor. Bread on the other hand, contains carbohydrates and gives you a quick energy shot without too much of a rush. A little butter or margarine on crispy brown toast is a visual delight that supplies you with some fat content in moderation and leaves you feeling satisfied. Some jams, preserves or marmalades on that toast perhaps! … and you could add a fruity touch to your tea time. Kitchen geeks could get creative with the toast by using different types of breads. Rye, whole-wheat, sourdough…sliced and toasted are great alternatives to plain while one. Diverse tastes abound. You can even try those really long french loaves that when sliced thin, yield enough for tea belters to munch on with their cuppa.
Speaking of tea, there are few kinds of this magical leaf that could bless you with a heavenly flavor reminiscent of a toast!
“This story is one of empires and espionage, smuggling and addiction, rampage and passion and the protagonist of this remarkable tryst with history is none other than the humble leaf of tea”;Actor Virginia Wood was perhaps reminiscing her little dalliance with tea time frolics when she had remarked this. With origin shrouded in mystery it is said that the tea leaves made their way into the boiling water by sheer accident. What followed next may not interest many but to me it’s hearty befitting in one way; so long as the sight of a buttery, sweet piece of cinnamon toast paired with a steaming mug of freshly brewed tea could make my heart jump a beat and bring smile to my face, I’m fine with it!
Still not thrilled or tickled? Honestly!…a cup of tea holds a million possibilities. It calms your nerves. It invigorates and perhaps is the best recipe for instant comfort. The reassuring sound of a kettle coming to a boil and hot water being poured onto the tea is no less exciting than a freaking dream job landing at your door step unannounced! The aroma escaping the pot is simply distinctive, tempting and nostalgic. When it’s winter, calls for a hot cup of tea any time anywhere would sound gratifying ; lazy monsoon evenings beckon a celebratory cup and a cuppa tea in hot summer days earnestly cool you down. Come brief autumn spell, a steaming cup provides you with few quiet wistful moments.
So, next time when you sip or slurp your favorite brew, think of all that has gone into its making…countless moments of history, untold efforts spent on coming up with some divine flavors, meticulous blending… just about everything that somehow blooms life on your tongue every time you savor it. Besides everything seems easy and doable once you pick up your cuppa chai. The miracle of the tea is that it knows how to create a storm in your cup every time you reach out for one!
Image source: ‘London Pottery Farmhouse’ in fishpond.com.au
And don’t forget that all pervasive warm whiff drifting down the hallway from the bread basket full of crispy brown toasts all hot and fresh and splattered to edges with butter and jam.
Could there be a better trimming to accompany your nice yellow pot of freshly steeped tea?
“I know when I compliment her, she won’t believe me / And it’s so, it’s so sad to think that she doesn’t see what I see / But every time she asks me do I look okay? I say / When I see your face there’s not a thing that I would change / ‘Cause you’re amazing just the way you are.”
Bruno Mars in ‘Just the way you are’. Isn’t he trying hard to make someone feel better about her imperfect attraction?
When we sometimes underrate our own attractiveness even whilst people around would find us perfect and amazing, is it that somehow we have underestimated our appeal? Or do we rate ourselves more engaging only when viewed from a third-person perspective?
Surprisingly there’s no absolute and true numbers when it comes to checking out one’s desirability. There are no real threes, fives or eights. Just because there is so much confusion and inaccuracy about the magic of appeal and attraction, doesn’t mean that this embarrassment is meant to happen to everybody. Understanding what darlingness is about, calls for some explicit insight about people’s psyche. So, by some chance even if you happen to be the one who can act, sing and dance well, just so wouldn’t make you any more attractive than the person standing next to you!
Oddly, whenever you go wrong in realistically assessing your physical appearance and attraction, you underestimate your self-worth and appeal. You rate yourself dimly and so differently from those around you and keep wondering what others might think of you. This can be maddening till you figure out everything dismissive and cruel and psyche yourself out.
Here are a few signs that would let you see your true beauty and be sure that; ‘You’re not unpretty and actually are more attractive than you think!’
Image source: ‘How to know if you are attractive: 18 signs to look for’ in aconciousrethink.com
Everybody moves around you confused and awkward? –It’s a sign you’re most entrancing.
It’s a subtle sign that you are good looking, attractive and standing out from the crowd! Be it sharing a bench in the park, stranger asking directions, or a new intern looking up for tips, people feel comfortable approaching somebody who’s alluring. Strangers would find you ‘easy on the eyes’ and would readily assume that you’d be polite and they could be themselves when around you.
When somebody reaches out to you, it usually cuts through all the unease and none of you would realize why you’ve picked each other. Could it be anything but an irresistible attraction in you that has drawn a stranger irresistibly?
Signs that you are gorgeous and charming are sometimes so faint to notice that they are usually ignored and get buried quickly. Queerly when others find you attractive, a lot many of them might become jumpy and feel anxious to be around you even when there’s little opportunity for it. As it happens, you can expect to be stalked on social media or followed discreetly around places where you tend to hang around and all this is for a slim possibility of winning your acquaintance!
Attraction is by far very intimidating. It’s almost impossible not to get flustered when someone fancies you. So, if you notice people acting strange around you it’s very likely that they find you attractive despite not knowing how to tell you that or what to say!
Hot or cold, people feel strongly for you- It’s a sign you’re winsomeand a delight to engage.
What somebody having feelings for you really means to you? Doesn’t everything sound promising in the beginning? It though is unlikely that everything would really end up the way you’d think it should?
When you’re attractive, those around you may tend to flaunt extreme feelings towards you. Malice or warmth, it could be anything from overtly friendly to heartlessly cold and harsh. Whichever… it’s most likely that when people find you attractive they’d really want to get to know you. Some may act petty towards you as well. They feel gross and may find you intimidating or are simply jealous of your looks and appearance. Others might try to come up to you on any excuse just to have a way to talk to you and be around you.
More often than not, when someone seems drawn to you and want to say, “You’re gorgeous!” or “I have feelings for you” but can’t; it is only because they don’t know how to voice their feelings or the thoughts. And all the while without you knowing, for them you’re mesmerizing and irresistible!
Image source: ‘7 little signs that you’re more attractive than you believe’ in relrules.com
You don’t get complimented often- It’s a sign you’re a stunner!
Has it ever happened to you; you’re all dressed-up to kill for a party but nobody has complimented you? Ok, that’s rough. It could actually make you feel disappointed and withdrawn. You have prided yourself as hot or hypnotic yet somehow couldn’t find an admiring eye. Even that prized Charlotte Tilbury lipstick or Ralph Lauren tie, couldn’t help much to let others take notice of you on a party night!
You may not believe this but it works otherwise. It actually is a definite sign that you are extremely attractive and arresting. It’s just that you look so good all the time even when you haven’t tried at all to be that, that it really doesn’t make much of a difference to those around you.
When people don’t compliment you it’s only because you’re amazing as always and not noticing you is very normal. It sounds twisted but not getting enough cheers even when you’re looking and feeling your best is actually one of the best signs that you’re ‘darlingly‘ attractive.
You are annoyed by the attention that keeps coming back–It’s a sign you’re obsessively attractive!
Are you uncomfortable with people’s attention that so often seems to zero-in on you? Do people answer with a pleasant; “Oh, I know who you are” whenever you decide to make yourself known? Are you thrilled to know that they remembered something about you that you had so casually talked about earlier? If your answer is ‘yes’ then …you’ve absolutely smashed it! It’s not simply a piece of luck or trick of the moment; people do take notice of you and pay attention to every little thing about you when they find you attractive and exciting.
Attraction is a catchy word that is obsessive, engrossing and alwayssets in motion the expected; itsurefiredrawsattention in an infallible way!
There is yet another side to this. It’s pretty hard to believe that all this admiration about physical appearance is after all momentary. People we admire could be just as insecure as we are. It’s only because how amazing they look, that we readily give in to thinking that they have nothing to worry about. Truth is that we all have our moments of low self-worth. Many would be surprised if you dare say; “I’m not happy with myself and wish I could change the way I look!”
By far you can safely sell this to yourself. Any flaw that you spot in yourself in the mirror is unimportant most of the time and people adore you the way you are.
Double takes are unnerving – But they are a sign that you’re ravishing!
You might be tempted to glower back but this is not about an angry staring contest. You’re not going to throttle someone! Gawking in fact is fair and agreeable if it’s only about your attractiveness? Aren’t you thrilled when people subtly try to catch your gaze? Doesn’t it excites you when they look away, embarrassed at having been caught staring at you?
On days when you feel uneasy on becoming aware that strange eyes are boring down your person, it’s natural to get intimidated. The happy part though is that it’s a sure sign that you’re a lot more attractive than you realize! Your presence has created attention and if heads turn easily with all eyes on you, it might just be that you tempting and inviting!
Whatever…don’t let all that attention and curiosity make you self-conscious. When people around you stare, it’s one of the most obvious signs in public that you are definitely a stunner even when you’ve rated yourself six out of ten in terms of attractiveness. You’re probably more alluring than you think you are!
Image source: ‘The science of confidence and attraction’ in cmp.smu.edu.sg
I guess popular emphasis on beauty is a revered obsession for most. And understandably so since being physically attractive is more pivotal and valuable to people’s perception than meets the eye. Besides there is no point in killing the joy of being appreciated!
It’s like meeting your heartthrob all pumped up, even if it’s for a little while!
“It’s back again!””Monster day is here!””Bless me, it’s Friday only!” “Let’s get this 9-5 out of the way!” or “Still stuck with your 24/7 passion at work?”
How often we hear telling this insanity to ourselves or to others. Sometimes we say with conviction, at others with little wit or a meme but most often with restrained disdain. “Monday blues” are in fact best described as the barb that many people experience at the beginning of the workweek, largely because they are not happy at work. Depression, tiredness, hopelessness and an inkling that work is unpleasant but unavoidable is what triggers pangs of anxiety, sadness and stress as you grudgingly move towards your desk after a restful weekend.
But why Mondays are such a drag? Why do you have to put up with a terribly freakish downhearted choice that has no escape?
Many would easily laugh it off as “just the way things are!”, but this is more than just a passing weariness; a warning sign that not everything is right at work.
So, do you start your workweek all overwhelmed and bored, stressed and unhappy? Are you sluggish, drag your feet and not fired up? If you’re unwilling to get down to business or don’t want to but have to keep smiling then you sure have lost out to ‘Lunaediesophobia’ or simply put ‘The Monday bug‘!
Let’s put it the other way; if you love your job and are passionate about it, Monday morning ought to be reckoned as an opportunity to do what you love most. On the contrary, if the idea of starting yet another seemingly endless workweek cracks you up and gets you all worked up, it’s only because you’re feeling down and not hungry anymore to be productive.
Monday blues! Mundane Mondays! Scary Monday! It’s isn’t only about sadness in your head. Your dislike for 9-5 job isn’t a pop psychology invention, but hints of a more serious condition characterized by feelings of helplessness and crash. We’ve all been there and like everybody else I too have sensed that clammy dread as the weekend draws near leaving us with a sinking sense of downturn.
Often finding myself sluggish and tense and overwhelmed on a new week start, I desperately dug around and found these six incredibly powerful yet easy ways to offload my wicked feelings letting me stay 2 steps ahead of my oddity.
Give it a shot if you do not wish to unhinge, have set your heart to fix the jinx and would love some good times to roll in once again!
Unplug for now- It’s fun time!
Image source: Pixabay.com.
Give your mail box a miss, if possible over the weekend especially since you’re not going to respond till Monday anyways. Handing out yourself something to feel unsettled and scattered, only adds to your exhaustion. True, it’s tempting to know what’s waiting for you, but drawing line between personal and work times does keep things in check. When you leave Office on Friday eve, cast aside your work issues for a while. Don’t let anything creep into your off-time. It’s time to have fun and rejuvenate!
Don’t let the candle burn at both ends
You have slogged all through the work week just to be free for weekend partying. In truth you have actually earned yourself some space and time to relax. But don’t forget that coming Monday can be extra stressful from work that has potentially piled up from the week gone by and for many it could challenging to jump right back in!
To ride over the Monday morning anxiety, get rid of uncomfortable and awful tasks as far as possible by Friday afternoon itself. By taking care of things you least want to handle at the end of one workweek, you simply make the start of next one much easier.
Come Monday morning and get all unpleasant assignments done as early as possible so that you don’t spend rest of the day feeling as if a black cloud is hanging over your head! Clean up the mess fast and you’ll feel a lot better once it’s over. No reason why you should axe your off-time or peace even on as dreadful a day as Monday.
‘Forty winks’ will make you fine and full of beans!
Image source: Pixabay.com.
It’s probable that you have spent the entire weekend and Sunday eve partying around, but overdoing that could be overwhelming! If you’re running only a couple of hours sleep, it’s highly likely that you’re not going to feel good on next daybreak. Jittery and all scattered you won’t feel good about going anywhere when the alarm goes off on Monday morning.
To make things work out smoothly, it’s good to go to bed a little early on Sunday night and get enough of sleep. You’ll wake up well rested on Monday morning, all revved up to face the World with a zing. An extra 15-30 minutes early rise could make your Monday morning actually a lot easier. Having a little more of “me time” makes the shift from crazy clubbing and wild bashes to work place setting a bit more comfortable. Simply stay unstrapped of ‘time crunch’. This way you could spare yourself some time to enjoy breakfast, do exercise or even take your dog for a short walk. In fact, you’ll feel more centered for the rest of the day.
If that’s not enough at least sell this idea to yourself; “I’m not a robot that just sleeps and works. I’ll do nicer things to me for I deserve a better deal”. You’ll be amazed to see how things fall into place all by themselves.
Bring smile to someone
Getting smile on someone’s face or doing something nice for somebody actually helps lift your spirits. Remind yourself to do some good as soon as you get to work on Monday. This will also work around to shift the overall mood around you at work!
See… the best way to cheer yourself up is to make someone else go happy. Compliment a colleague, be nice to your client, help out a stranger on the street or find a way to make someone else’s day a little better and see how miraculously you ride through your work day all free and easy and lively!
Have heart for fun at work place
Things and actions as small as bringing donuts to your colleague, taking a quick break to catch up with a friend in the Office, sharing weekend escapades with co workers, are great fun and a big way to strengthen connects within the four walls where nothing is a reason good enough to cut loose and doodle. A weekly Monday coffee break or lunch time with friends would be just as great. Unknowingly in turn you create an event that you love most. You’ll look forward to all the Mondays as a way to break up the day with moments of good times. At least you’ll have a chance to take a deep breath, hang around and talk, pull-up and gather your wits again for the rest of the day.
Line up post-work bustle
Once you start your work week with an “attitude of gratitude”, you will begin to appreciate things that you enjoy most about work. Surprisingly without you realizing, it kicks off even before you get to work! You use Monday as the day to wear your favorite outfit to look good, feel good and be complimented. Half the battle for Monday morning is already won when you begin to feel good about yourself. It makes you all jazzed up to face work with confidence than be deflated by it.
But is that all you’ve planned for the day? Shouldn’t you be looking forward to something after you’ve slogged through the day desperately trying to get over with the pile of things?
The day doesn’t have to be all about getting up to the go to the Office and trudging deep. Make your Monday a special day where you go out with friends post-work, fix-up your favorite dinner or catch up on your favorite Netflix soap you’ve missed so dearly with a bowl of popcorn, bucking up the rest of your evening.
It’s always good to take a little more of downtime. Things will always perk up like never before!
Image source:’How to deal with Monday blues for your employees’ in fibe.in.
On Sunday afternoons or early Sunday evenings, the thought of waking up on Monday morning and the slog lying ahead all through the work week, would zap the joy out of my rest of the day. As the weekend would near it’s end, my mood also would plummet. The dread of a monstrous upcoming workweek would take the wind out of my sails.
This is when I clearly began to see the warning signs of a downturn and resolved for a turn around that I had endured so far. Things changed quickly thereafter and became encouraging. I was getting excited and energized even on monstrous Monday mornings, not just tired and depressed any longer.
If you’ve heard this; “You can’t please all of the people all of the time”then you’d know that there will always be people in life who don’t like you. This hurts, but on the flip side it feels wonderful when someone does like you. It’s exciting and perks up your confidence. Besides appreciation is one powerful way to build up strong relations and success at work.
Image source: istockphoto.com.
It’s an uncomfortable truth but don’t we all want to be likeable? Who wouldn’t want to charm his or her way into someone’s life at the blink of an eye?
Being hyper-likable is one easy way to make life significantly spicy and intoxicating but it come easier to some than others. Fortunately this is one trait that nobody is innately born with. True, charismatic people are born charming, but likability is something that can be learned and sharpened just like the way you learn at the bourses.
I was not born lucky with natural charisma; one of the likes who’re the masters of the working room with mere handshakes and wide grins. I couldn’t manage to be one in my late teens and early twenties. Unlucky for me it didn’t happen till well into my late thirties!
I’ve always been a shy introvert but I did know what it was like to connect with others. May be because of this reason I’d always admire people who would make people like me feel at ease in their presence and would readily connect to virtually anyone like myself. These were the people whom I could hardly forget. I observed them and appreciated them for understanding my vulnerable side. It was like the more someone opened to me, the closer I felt drawn to them. It made things easier for me and I felt something good happening around me. I was finally being myself.
Like I said earlier instant likeability doesn’t come easy for everyone. For those more on the introverted side, things do get raw at times. Yet I felt drawn to the ways these people made me feel. Surprisingly it never hit me as awkward. All I wanted was to learn the secrets of likeability; behavior, traits and everything and then accept them as my own.
Image source: ‘Why being likable can be a remarkable life skill’ by LaRay Quy in theladders.com on Oct. 05,2018.
Starting in 1992, somethingpositive began panning out for me. I was all piped up to learn to be a super likable person that everyone feels comfortable around and wants to get to know better. I was getting to understand how I could endear myself from the get-go. I was beginning to know the importance of presenting myself as a genuine person who is willing to connect.
It felt like being on cloud nine!
Here’s four most compelling ideas that then helped me make people finally see me as someone they would want to have a conversation and hang out with!
Pick up a lively, lighthearted friendly demeanor
Over the time I have seen people losing their likability because of their fake optimism and dumb likeness. May be it’s all because they don’t mean to sound negative and distant but are uncomfortable in crowd or perhaps they’re get more self contained in masses.
Intriguing as it was, all the while I kept in mind that before opening up people do try to get a read on you. Nothing turns off them more than trying to communicate with somebody closed-off and uncommunicative. Nobody gets excited about getting to know you when that happens.
So, I decided to let my guard down and asked myself not to be afraid to be me. I became aware of how I was expected to present myself to others. I did my best to stay open and send friendly vibes around. Incredibly, my personality began to shine through as I kept unplugging. I learned to smile true; no plastic ones. I also picked up how to make genuine eye contacts and nods to show that I was listening. I got the hang of what leaning when listening to someone can do to your acceptability.
For once I was beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin! My body language was finally doing works for me drawing others naturally to me.
Getting past the small talk is winsome
A boring nerd to start with, I was looking for positives in every situation. I knew that pessimist talk doesn’t win friends and neither does the small talk. It’s Ok to talk about weather or your local sports team but these conversations don’t win long term favors. Besides it’s a sure way to alienate togetherness and bring the entire mood to dumps.
To make things brighten up and make a great impression, I moved past it. I took to discussing genuine, down to earth issues whenever I had the opportunity to chat. I asked about other person’s family, their hobbies and passions.
You’ll be surprised how much close you could get to people learning about them and they’ll like you better for having learned it.
Image source: istockphoto.com.
Assume everybody has something better for you
One great way to pitch for your likability is to assume that every single person has something of importance that you don’t. Everything that’s happening around you is born out of mind of another person and you’ve missed it.
When hanging around with friends or in some serious company, I was making sure that focus was not only on me, my problems, my life and my opinions. In fact, I approached every conversation thinking that it’s not an opportunity for me to unload myself on another person, but rather a chance for me to get to know someone better, learn something different and extra and to connect in a way I haven’t before!
I realized I didn’t need to make others envy and awe over who I am and what I’ve achieved. Instead I learned to share with them what I care about and what I hope for. This one time I was not trying to impress; I was being honest with my needs and boundaries.
Pep talk and shared interests always lit the spark
Likable people are approachable and personable because they’re good at listening and equally willing to talk; no preconceived notions or passing judgment on others. This is how I found them to be setting up a common ground of mutual interest. A little bit of homework and I was surprised to know that all the diverse interests and backgrounds usually did the rest!
At some point I was viewing each person I met as an opportunity to learn something. Of course I did meet people whom I disagreed with but kept myself in check. The idea was to allow others to have their say and make them feel heard. A bit of pep talk was meant to be a sweetener and pushed for deeper conversation. Was I being open minded? Perhaps! … when someone smiled I felt inclined to smile back. May be social sync was doing favors at last. Unwittingly I was mimicking other person’s body postures and speech patterns to get connected easily!
Believe me it felt good to go to Old school and spend some time having small pep talk with those around me. At long last I had begun to rake up some real good relationships by sharing thoughts and having fun together.
Feature credits:’Kindness and Joy” by Inspiration Quest in Youtube.com.
Likability is something that is virtually within everybody’s reach. All you need to do is to make others feel good around you. I did just that by avoiding being judgmental, letting others open up, giving my undivided attention, enthusing others, putting my phone away and memorizing names.
Strangely, contrary to what I thought earlier most of the times it’s something that was under my control and I couldn’t see that before.
Gee!…This time I could open the door from the inside!!
That’s what I’d hear every time I asked my mother how she was doing. Cringing eyes, creaking knees and despairingly loosening skin, all were a painful reminder of her advancing age. Yet I could never see any shame in her eyes in growing old or struggling with her body. At 70 you wouldn’t hope to be the same adorable pig tailed raunchy gal who would climb the trees, jump the wall or beat up all the boys.
For years I couldn’t understand why she would react like that when she could only walk gingerly and mostly not without support. She must’ve been weighing just 40 kg soaking wet at that time!
It was only long after she was gone that I could understand what she meant by saying fat and sassy! She lived and proved it in the way she carried herself, the way she spoke, the way she did everything. Hard to guess if she ever knew that she was my first truly trusted cheeky mentor. And I’m sure she never meant that being sassy a lot of time would mean being rude to people or having a nasty attitude for no reason. Of course it implied that I could do whatever I wanted but it’s not cute if I did hurt somebody.
So, instead of blending in with the crowd, I so badly wanted to stand out, much like my Maa and instead of going with the flow, I wanted to create one and be that spicy unstoppable person in any situation.
Here are five things that have helped me shape out a long-craved oomph life for myself!
Charming and saucy! It’s a good start
There’s an abundance of info doing the rounds in blogs, podcasts, books and websites and Ted talks… still you want to be confident not cocky; honest but not hurtful and certainly cheeky but not rude. You’re always upbeat about yourself, yet know very well that you couldn’t squeeze the most out of your life in one go.
Here’s what you could do for a start!
Audacity is not disrespectful when you say something a little brash but with a smile and don’t actually mean anything by it. It’s kinda spice of attitude thrown in the mix! So next time your friend texts you, “Hey, can I come over to your place so that we could just hang around?” be wise about the man thing before responding and ask your heart, mind and soul before you reply. To say ‘No’ if that’s how it’s meant to be, need not sound impolite or rude.
It’s time to start living your best
If there is one thing that’s true for all sassy people, it’s that they come packed with exuberance, wisdom for handling real-life situations and are full of insights about living life to the fullest.
Look…It does take some confidence and gusto to do your things the way you like them, to love yourself and to speak up your mind. Because you’re freaking cool, being confident isn’t much of a challenge to you. However, if you couldn’t handle and allow your inner sass out, make it easy by starting from the outside in. True, confidence comes from within, but a little can seep in from the outside as well.
So, get dressed up, start feeling good on the outside and behave and act like a confident you would. Shoulders back, head held high as you walk, a little flirt, an eye roll, a small touch perhaps or a faint smile and you’ll find your body language channeling your sass in no time. But keep it to a minimum since that stuff gets negative pretty easily. There will always be people who are easily offended and will think of you as rude.
Fun doesn’t hurt anybody
If being brassy, bold and adorable is a lot about having fun, why shouldn’t you have some? Once your confidence turns high and races heavenwards it’s highly unlikely that you would slink out of the fun and romp that comes your way. Simply try being the person who loves being bouncy and peppy. If you’re listless, uninterested in people around you or hard to enthuse, your charming cockiness could easily be mistaken for cynicism.
Seriously, be the person who can have fun with anything, anywhere. A pep in your step would keep your sassiness (with a smile of course) upright and would make others find you funny and enviable.
So stop slouching over the phone and no more day dreaming or glazed-over cold looks. Get in the moment. Look around you. Respond with a smile or a nod when people talk to you. Ask, inquire, crack jokes or flirt a little for all I care. But live the moment for every time it’s a show time!
Your X-factor will help you smile!
Living fat and sassy never cheats you of following your passions and loving your family. Being alive purposefully and genuinely instead earns you some kindness and urges you to stay connected.
Do you know of people who mystically stay ‘invisible’? They would walk into the room and nobody would notice, hang around and will barely make a sound. And that’s that. Nobody checks out on them; nobody sits up for them. In fact, there is something about their unwillingness to try that makes them cower or cringe among people who are dynamic and metallic. Instead of challenging their fears, they find comfort in shutting out than shine brighter.
Believe me, slinking would never let you speak up your mind or zero-in and build up on your confidence.
Image source: ‘Feelings, emotions and moods: How to say what you are experiencing’ by Jody Michael in jodymichael.com
But that’s not you. You’d die doing anything to live large. Won’t you? You love to crack jokes, tell stories and wouldn’t hesitate to showcase that spilled coffee stained shirt, modeling it and thumping around; ‘stains are the rocking rage’! For you being sassy is something about making everybody take notice.
And that’s Ok! No need to shy away if all eyes are on you. The best part is that your bouncy breeziness will keep the party going. See…not everybody can do that. Just be the person that can have fun with anyone, anything… anywhere.
You could be a surprise trendsetter
Don’t be surprised if everybody around you starts doing Muay Thai or sashay around like BoyWithUke– that smashing net influencer. Sassies are effervescent and would find humor in just about anything. There’s nothing they are unwilling to try.
So let your personality run riot. Public speaking, heights or slugs, even challenging yourself will be just as fine in surprising others as your kinky yoga postures! Simply tame your hardwired wits to listen to you. It’s the willingness to jump outside the box and do what others are often afraid to do, will make you bolder and shine brighter.
Besides, can you imagine of yourself as wise and sassy in a walrus outfit?
Image source: istockphoto.com
Interestingly, aware or not most people experience sweeping range of emotions each day and unfortunately most of these are unpleasant and sometimes awfully harsh. Irksome as they are, each one of us easily gets tired of sulking in a bad mood all day long and want the physical sensation to be exciting and stirring. Besides what’s the fun in being nice and shy all the time? Saucy, vivacious and bold wouldn’t we all want to have these enviable qualities and not just tow the lamb’s tail?
And just for the record, don’t worry what others would think. Living life your way comes free!!
If the sense of happiness is all about being satisfied with what you have, what’d make you happy? A bigger house or better car perhaps, a more understanding mate, wealth and fame surely? Or maybe just finishing everything on your to-do list would do the wonders!
Well!… you may stop fooling yourself if you believe that any one of these would increase your happiness remarkably. It’s a myth that anyone would feel happiness all the time. Buy that unreality and you’ve got it all wrong. This is because we grow up with the belief that life is meant to make us feel good when this optimism is exactly what stops us in our tracks. We lose the capacity to see what we do have and what is going right for us! Our pursuit ends with anything but joy and wellness.
Most of us get happiness all wrong or don’t understand it at all. We crumble at the first signs of stress because we begin to feel bitter and turn hostile; something what we are not meant to. The fear of change makes misery more frightening. Negative emotions overshadow everything and this is when we begin to misinterpret happiness. In fact we go about it in reverse unwittingly. The good news is that while the roadblocks to happiness do exist, they are largely within our control!
So, does happiness seem to get out of your reach every time no matter how hard you try? Are you the only person you know who isn’t peaceful and happy at will? Count on yourself to corner these common thieves of happiness and change them so you could be as happy as a sand boy again!
When you live in the past
It saddens me to see people being stuck in an endless replay of their good old days. And it’s hurtful. Regretting what you did or couldn’t do is in vain because you were a different person then and there is nothing you could do to change the unsavory parts of your past now.
What’s the antidote then?
Healthy boundaries are the key to happiness. Without a blue print of whom and what you want to be in life, you cannot muster enough emotional courage for your well being. Like everything else we humans evolve constantly and are just as fallible as the next person. So, you cannot allow your past to screw up your life on account of some wretched person who turned your life upside down for you and made you go nuts try cleaning up the mess!
It’s true that fires from the past hurt our intrinsic self worth and would hang on with us lifelong. But flawed or fine you shouldn’t let that ’our lives are pretty good’ idea be taken away just because you didn’t get the chance to do things your way!
Image source: ‘Fun winter activities for fostering teens’ in orchardfostering.ieon Nov. 04, 2022.
Cynicism is bitter
When you’re in limbo and couldn’t resist reevaluating yourself, isn’t this what crosses your mind so often; ‘‘Here we go again…someone telling me I’m crazy, and I need to get fixed!” You just couldn’t get rid of undying unpleasant thoughts of your pushy stubborn connections and would react to the same people and situations in an irresponsible manner. Your thoughts are jaded and would block your way.
But there’s a way out!
It is our thoughts that always manifest our emotions and for that reason we can’t help and stay stuck with our feelings. Yet that’s not entirely true! Since we are hard wired with a penchant for negative thoughts, anything flawed instinctively makes us look for the darker side.
One way to combat this incredulity is to uncover your thoughts instead of living them. Deal with your blunted rationale and pull down the cynicism. It’s always a great help since it’s the quality of our thoughts that means everything to experience happiness.
So …stop sneering and smile your blues away!
Every feat is a fresh start
As a quite unsmiling kid, I always looked forward to crossing over the milestones. Passing the college, finding a job, independent living, marriage, parenthood, travel; I just about weighed everything as a milestone. Then one day in my 30’s I woke up and asked myself, “Am I not living the future”? Nothing would quell my quest then but later I was to realize that there are barriers in everybody’s life and I was just overcoming one challenge after another only to find next one knocking on my door.
This is an imperfect reality. ’Here-and-now’ is as difficult to others as it is to me. I was all caught up in the ‘tomorrow game’; something that I was to choreograph my future life upon. And all the whiletoday’sprecious moments kept passing me by.
There is nothing like ‘perfect time’ in life. If you wait for future for something good to happen, an anxious world will slip you by. You cannot afford to postpone your happiness until the time ripens in future when everything is ‘just right’. Only that time never comes for anybody.
Imperfect happiness is what must be earned today for a shining tomorrow. So stop being defensive and do not take emotional wellness for granted. The pursuit of happiness drives much of what we do, but accomplishing it always appears out of reach.
After all, happiness is not mystic or faded and worrying for it will only be a waste of time.
Image source: ‘How to let go of expectations and find what makes you happy’ by Justine Carino in carinocounseling.com
Comparison would hurt
Do you ever wonder while scrolling through Instagram or surfing Meta, “I’d be really happy if only my life was like so-and-so”? forgetting that our best is waiting in the wings to happen. “What if I could never become part of this edited reality”?
Being unhappy 24/7 doesn’t mean that you’re flawed; it’s only something inside you that needs dealing with- something that’s there right with you all the time. Unfortunately, if it tows you incessantly, you unknowingly would begin focusing on what isn’t working for you all the time. This is when the slump strikes. Your bad chemistry wriggles out free and drives you to make some awful choices that could worsen your life. So stop struggling with your comparison mania and check on your jinxed self- awareness. Trust me you’d get busier mapping and cloning the happiness quotient of your peers in no time and will be all smiles and value to your life.
See…it’s only this sneaky disparity that burgles all attempts to be in paradise!
Being grateful for the good, solid relationships, positive experiences and loving memories rescues us from disappointments. Chasing more likes, more hearts and more approvalis an unproductive way to be happy; it’s more of a recipe for misery and discontentment. Feel-good emotions and meaning wouldn’t betray you if you stayed good with your personal set-point of contentment!
Image source: ‘The key to lasting happiness’ in theohmstore.co on Jan.15, 2019.
Happiness for all we know is an inside job. Sure buying a shiny new car, sleek digs and a leisurely vacation are exciting. But these are temporary fixes and sometimes influence how we feel in the short run. Even a most cynical person could experience a sudden spike in happiness on winning a lottery.
This reminds me of my grandpa. He never missed to quip when in high spirits; “See… happiness doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it is the little voice in your head at the end of the day that says I’ll be around with you for a while!”
Like everything else happiness too is as elusive, messy, chaotic but pleasant possibility. Understanding the intrinsic ways you could work to win it over will definitely earn you ever-lasting moments of true happiness.
Yes…People around you are great but so is self –help. Just break free for once and I’m sure you’ll start loving yourself!!
I still remember what my grand pa used to say when chiding,”You bet your sweet bip”.Back at home, a boring remake of Pinch kitchen would mock me daily. Food here necessarily carried a strict mandate; it should be healthy, delicious, and family friendly. Everything cooked was meant to be eaten in each category or it simply wouldn’t get made again!
An average cook in those days did muster some sort of taste mandate. True, food tasted great but it always took a while to reach the platter and needlessly paraded unhealthy fats, excessive calories with occasionally a pinch more of sugar or salt! Losing weight was not much of a challenge then.
Fast forward; fad food like everything else too changed hands. Health and healthy life styles gained priorities. And by the end of late 80’s, food was on an arduous journey of satisfying different menu, umami unmistakably among them. Plus, some irresistible vegetarian fare loaded with saturated fats was beginning to run wild as a fantasy cuisine.
Concerns that fat, luxury gourmet food was adding inches to the girth of every second person’s sweet bippy had begun surfacing. Not much in the beginning…but no sooner it was to become a common feel that “I’m not losing weight fast enough, despite following a healthy lifestyle”. Something was preventing people from seeing the changes everybody was looking for. The advices were perhaps misguiding or outdated!
From sizzlers to fries and from hearty brunch to luxurious spread, the food tasted great everywhere. But the battle for being deliciously healthy had just begun everywhere.
So much so for yesteryears….what began as an unsettling worry, today is every person’s anxiety over serious consequences of cheating food!
Image source: ’25 Delicious Apple Recipes That are Perfect for Fall’ by Perri O. Blumberg in eatthis.com on Sep.03, 2020.
Losing weight is challenging at times. Even Harvey Diamond’s “Fit for life: Not fat for life” theory of food indulgence linked to weight loss doesn’t carry enough sway despite being uncomplicated. You might feel you’ve doing enough but still not get the results you want. In reality however, it’s not all that simple since you can’t eat fruits with other foods and dare not combine protein and starches. Whatever…if not much at least you can just follow one simple rule; “Eat more living food than dead food”.
So, if healthful living is not helping you shed inches fast enough, perhaps you should try going beyond what cookbooks tell you. Maybe you can cheat on what you eat and still lose weight!
Is your food healthy?
Not always really. Contrary to popular belief food sounds good so long it’s about eating fruits and vegetables. Yet it’s way too loose when it comes to choosing the starches and proteins, for it’s possible that either you’d shortchange yourself or overeat. Besides no dairy means you’re not getting enough of calcium especially when nobody knows for sure which veggies are calcium rich and which are not. Then there is one more nagging concern! ‘Dead foods’ (meats and starches) audaciously bulldoze the digestion system and zap energy leaving you feeling enervated. Unless you follow certain ‘food combining’ rules seriously, improper food pairing –supposedly harmful- would make you fat.
Don’t lose your mind, Lose weight instead!
Weight loss for many means forsaking the fattening food we all love. No creams, no chips, no wine, no burger, no sweets…no fun! But this kind of annoying melt-off regimen could actually end up with more cravings for forbidden foods and goals get abandoned long before their time. ”101 Foods That Can Save Your Life” couldn’t salvage much and doesn’t pitch for serious deprivations either! ‘Taking away a person’s favorite food can be a death knell to a weight loss plan’. Splurging on favorite foods should be an open option since anyone can follow severe diet plan for a short time only.
Sloughing 60 lbs in 60 days!
Everyone slips up when it comes to calorie counting and that’s fine so long as you don’t return back to it. When that happens you’d take note of it and would get right back into your food plan. What better way to avoid throwing in the towel! Besides in any case it’s almost impossible to size yourself A+ when it comes to weight-loss attempt.
Since you’re craving for delectable food isn’t going anywhere soon and you’d want to indulge even more when somebody tells you ‘not to’, these tips could save you from falling out of grace and help you with that irresistible urge to gorge.
Image source: ‘Easy 15 days diet plan’ by Manju Malik in foodfitnessnfun.com on jan 09,2022.
Eat more of heavy foods
Lean protein and fiber are the food that is known to go for long distance. Eggs, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, soups, salads, lean meats, seafood and low fat dairy, all could fill up your insides fast and help tame your appetite. Always look for healthy snacks since you cannot afford to go for long periods without eating.
Say ‘Yeah” to flavor hits
Eating whatever you love in its most intense and tasty form is perhaps the best way to have less of it. This way you can have not much of it and yet get the flavor you’d die for. For instance if you’re crazy about crackling, crispy salty snacks, simply splurge on gourmet sea salt or kitchen salt and sprinkle it over a ripe, red tomato. You’ll not only have more brilliant bright flavor to relish but a better salty hit. Believe me, you’ll use less and less of it over the time and wouldn’t miss anything.
Eat only what you love most
Truly, nobody wants to talk bad about their body and would be hawkish when it comes to weight-watching. If the food that you love is bad for your diet, then it had better be good. But you can still have it guilt free. All you need to do is watch and budget your calories. Instead of gulping down a trio of donuts each morning with coffee wouldn’t it be better to splurge on something as savory as a small wedge of creamy cheesecake?
Moreover if you are a dessert lover and wouldn’t want to miss anything to eat out, it’s a great deal important to go through the menu first. This way you’ll know for sure where you are really headed and that will make it easier for you to skip creamy clam chowder or deep fried cheese sticks and settle for something more subtle like a slice of pecan pie perhaps!
Small bite makes big changes
Of course you can have it all, but not all in just one day. No food is off limits so long as you eat it sensibly. A couple of bites of dark chocolate is as good to satisfy your cravings without belting in too many calories as a small portion of cheesecake with a dusting of cookie crumbs instead of having a crust soaked in 6 tablespoons of melted butter! You can further prune down reduced- fat ingredients like light cream cheese and try a little less sugar. Lemon and lime zest add extra tang and while heightening the flavors make a dessert lighter so you can have more of it.
Image source: ‘The Best Jalapeño Poppers’ by Meggan Hill in culinaryhill.com on Dec.08, 2021.
Small steps add big results
Whenever you indulge in diet splurge with a plateful of colorfully garnished food, don’t forget to top it off with a walk around the office building afterwards. Savor a pizza slice and a cola for your daily lunch, but…four times a week instead of five. These small actions can help you with big results. Find out changes that work best for you.
Our natural in-built hard wired resistance to anything uncomfortable and upsetting is what makes us fail on diets most of the times. That’s what makes it so important to be wary of our food experiences! Being more aware of what’s on your plate, is always a mindful meal experience so long as we know what we are splurging on.
Image source: ‘Image source: ‘Can intermittent fasting help you lose weight?’in indianexpress.com on May 03, 2019.
Incredibly, there’s always been a way to eat your cake and lose weight! Knowing well that you cannot forsake your favorite temptations for long and you’ll break down sooner or later and overindulge, isn’t it easy to ‘eat it with full consciousness…lick your lips and then move on with your life’? So, why not try a more sensible way to love your cheese cake and manage your food splurge and calorie count? You bet you can cheat on your favorite food anytime and still beat the scales.
Your chances of weight-loss success are far more decent in the long run ‘cos ‘the more you know the more you can eat’!
“A half truth is always a whole lie’ but it’s also “the fastest way to prevent a mistake from turning into a failure.”
We believe we would find happiness in marriage and love would flourish of its own love, but it’s not quite as simple. What at times seems soft spot could actually be turn out to be no more than an unpleasant familiarity. There is no such thing as “the right person”. The most important thing is to be in love with someone before letting it happen.
If you are one of those people who know who they are, what they want and won’t compromise with their beliefs or happiness, then you‘re in for a surprise! People around you might find you wildly attractive. You’d stand tall, speak clearly and calmly refuse to do anything that will offend your sweet will. Everything buys you some crazy cutting edge every time you make a choice.
Yet… you may face a few straight ups too; “Nobody Should Marry That Person!!”
If liberal’s point of view is any good then wedlock must arise out of love alone. Still it’s a hardcore romanticism that never fails to rally and always comes with a pinch of idealism. Then there are disparagers who wouldn’t bite this. For them love perseveres and flourishes over time when two people decide to be together.
This double bind is perhaps crazy! But perhaps holds the key to getting what you might want in the first place-choices that earlier were never with you.
Shucks! What would you do now? Would you pretend your love so that you don’t appear disappointing? Would you confess that all love is lost between the two of you; you feel uninvolved yet would rather stay together? If you ask me I think each one of these would be more out of guilt and fear of backlash from people around you. On one hand your expectations of marriage are that it should be born out of love, on the other you can’t imagine being with someone you don’t love!
Too many questions but no straight answers! This of course is not an easy situation to work through. You’re trapped with no way out but to ride through.
Interestingly, it is still widely believed that men are more likely to marry someone they feel might not be quite right for them. If this is true then the myth that women would do anything for a ring and that men would do anything to shun commitment, is all sham and of course has few takers. By the way, which lady hasn’t sympathized with Bridget Jones or chuckled at 27 Dresses?
Then there is yet more cynical version which would urge you to just marry and settle down because it’s hard for good people to come by and this one might be exactly that. “Even if you don’t love that person,” some would say; “at least both of you are there to take care of each other. You can work on digging love after marriage over the time”; few would rather prefer a straight one; “Yes you should marry that person” or dismiss the whole thing with a “No you shouldn’t!”.
Image source: getty images.in
If you fancy spending the rest of your life with someone who’ll always by your side and take care of you when you’re old with white hair — then of course it’s easy to find someone who’d fit the bill. But this leaves something unanswered, “What marriage means to you?” assuming nothing changes after marriage. Wouldn’t you be just a keeper and she simply a reliable, caring and perceptive partner with none of you sharing the same closeness for each other!
Even so, the idea of being alone is overwhelming, sometimes soul crushing. You may get a fateful urge to try and make nice things permanent without mincing anything.
Getting married is a blissful recourse but not without hang-ups; anybody we marry might not always be the right choice for us. Besides, bliss doesn’t happen every day every time! You should also know that something else has walked in your life if dislike for each other is no longer short lived and hostility endures beyond the normal choleric fights and scratchiness.
If that’s happening- you have married the wrong person!
Image source: ‘What the Quaker tradition taught me about ‘Mr’ and ‘Ms’ in hellogiggles.com o May. 02, 2015.
Given that, it is about the single costliest mistake any of us can make, it’s all the more reason why we often tend to make the wrong choices consciously. Seriously, we ruin our lives on excuses that would sometimes sound crazy in particular ways. Maybe Just–enough couldn’t hold to be Good-enough. And we also quite miss the consequences of a harmless looking willful accommodation between two people!
Want to freeze happiness?
It’s not uncommon to wish for good things happening in life to last forever. Much like our car or our homes, don’t we all want to spend our lives with the people we’re having a terrific time with?
Still…
Dreaming of marriage as harbinger of an everlasting happiness would fall flat if we couldn’t bottle our love for each other. Unfortunately there is hardly any connection between marriage and emotions that usually grow byVenice, a time of day, a lack of work, an excitement at dinner or a short acquaintance with someone…outside love none of this guarantees happiness.
Not freezing anything marriage nonetheless is more of a peaceful, uneventful, sometimes nicely boring, comfortable, reliable and a decisive breather in life. It has the power to keep a relationship at a beautiful stage all through! A suburban house, long commute, small family; marriage has every ingredient of a lasting happiness. However, it’s a very different experience if you attempt to quick-freeze wrong ingredients. There will be as much doubt, hope, fear, rejection and betrayal in your marriage as there’s in your single life.
Don’t break free! Your future is yet to happen
It’s great if you’re here; nothing has happened yet and you’re free. There is still a chance and time to think over everything carefully and make a conscious decision. Of course, you will get chased by the feelings that you may well never meet someone that would come close. “What would I do then?” you may wonder.
What the heck!…
Truly nobody can tell if and when you’ll get to meet your perfect match one day, but when you do at least you’d be able to tell yourself; “When I agree to marry someone, I’m doing it because I genuinely want to marry this person and because this is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with”. You shouldn’t be looking for a partner merely because you’re fearful of the alternative– being left alone, not being able to find your perfect ‘One’ and not having someone to take care of you for the rest of your life.
Image source: istockphoto.com
Marriage indeed is a serious business and it deeply impacts lives. It’s never a wise move to look for hopes or expectations, that something else will happen of its own and that worries would leave you when love eventually happens out of a lifelong commitment.
So…stop, breathe and look around for your beau monde. Sure, trying to meet new people and finding the right match could be draining at times but in the end nothing would be more comforting than to know that you’ve eventually evaded being run down by that terrifying, heart numbing and draining unhappiness of being stuck in a marriage with someone you don’t love!
Did somebody ever tell you to cheer up and smile?… that you look so forlorn and miserable and are unhappy most of the time. It’s probably not the most welcome advice especially when you are feeling sick, tired or down in dumps. It sounds pretty backward… kinda corny if somebody asks you to turn that frown upside down.
But there is actually a good reason behind it!
Happiness is what makes us smile and all kind of things start to fall in place when we feel positive and cheerful. But our brain refuses to believe that we’re happy till it gets to see humor actually happening. It’s crazy; the brain is a sucker for a grin. It doesn’t bother to sort out whether you’re smiling because you’re happy or just pretending. For it, happiness is an elusive experience and is influenced by positive actions, relationships and change in attitude.
This is where all it takes is a small step to let happiness in and dupe it.
So, if you find yourself wading through rut of “different day, same story” bored to bones and utterly unhappy; then this is the time to start changing your story. Your sufferings need to be eased and wrongs to be righted to make your world a wee bit brighter and happier to live tomorrow!
Fortunately, there are quick, simple and no-cost ways to get just that. But if you read the daily headlines and wish somebody would step in and make things better for, you sorely mistaken and all wet. Unmistakably it’s your call.
Inside all of us there is always a mighty ‘Malcolm Little’ raring to act. You can be a force for good whether it’s about helping your neighbor, raising your voice to be heard or calling attention to a problem in need of a solution. Only you can help yourself repair your world.
Jeez!…This is not about more work. It’s about changing your mindset, seeing things in a new way, making new habit or adding an action every week for the next year.
Here are a few that might just about do the trick for you.
Breathe fresh
I know what you’re thinking, “That sounds a lot of work! Aren’t you the one who’s always telling others to stop being so busy?”– Calm down! I definitely don’t mean that you cram thousand and one things in your day. Who wants more work? All I insist that if a thirty minutes walk could help restore your nervous system, reduce anger and quell some of your hostile attitude; heck!…why not? Still if it sounds too much, simply take small actions to increase your steps. Parking your car at the farthest spot in the parking lot or reaching out to water fountain more frequently will have a million benefits in and of itself.
So… stop, breathe some fresh air and look around. You’ll be amazed how easy it becomes to get your steps in!
Tune out of social media for a while
My grand dad used to say, “Don’t soak and sour, boy. Get up”. Of course those were not the days of interactive platforms; and what he probably meant was, “I don’t care what you do so long as you find something that you love but don’t run too much with it”.
It’s easy to stay hooked to Instagram and Snapchat for long hours, but trust me, social media overkill could seriously put a damper on your mental health. Simply said it switches off all levels of comprehension not only for the time you’re engaged but your brain gets miffed with all the strange inputs and might stay cold for a while.
Instead, use at least 15 minutes of that inane insanity in reading the news, playing a brain-boosting game or listening to a fun or some thought-provoking podcast. You’ll get true joy from this new pursuit and may find a better version of yourself without changing a thing.
Count the best in others
Did you know that a four-leaf clover is mere mutation of sorts and never perfect? Yet when we get across one, we believe we have found something special. Is there a better way to notice the perfect even in the imperfect!
Look…One way to be happier in life is to assume that people around you are no less good, well intentioned and usually set sail to their conversations to the best of their ability. Whether they hit the road or block, they mean no harm to you or anybody. It’s just that that’s the way they are. So, when we err on the side of assuming others have good motives, we shelter ourselves from reality and live with a negative mindset.
If Jim Rohn was any good in his assertions then each one of us is the average of top five percent of the people with whom we spend the most time. And if you could somehow find the most positive happy and engaging people with whom to interact, you would easily find your level of happiness and sense of achievement soaring.
When we intentionally choose to spend some sweet time with those who are not critical, are supportive, positive and encouraging, we ‘can’t miss’ to win a positive mindset and more of happiness.
After all, world is a happier place when we connect with those around us and eyeing the perfect even in the imperfect is the key to celebrating the good things in our lives.
Image source: getty images.ie
Spend more time with your loved one
When was the last time you told somebody that you loved them? Have you ever thought how’d you feel if you could grab even a hasty lunch with an old friend, have a home cooked meal with your partner or go hiking with your kids?
Whatever your answer, do it. It’s never late to make a beginning. Your tendency to self sabotage gets laid to rest and celebrations begins to happen when you let happy surprises fill your day.
I know that for many of us, it’s kinda emotional black hole. Expressing feelings to somebody has never been easy, But then it’s your call. You need to overcome those barriers. Start by hanging out with your family or treasured friends. Talk to them. Listen to them. Understand them. Spending a little time with someone shows that you care and how important enough they are in your life that you’ve chosen to be by their side.
Joy of a being truly connected says even more. Your actions not your words spell out what your heart feels. Whatever…probably Emma Watson was right in bringing ‘nesting’ back to fashion. Today clubbing is no longer an overwhelming idea, when you’re looking for real happiness.
So… go ahead. Tell jokes, crack each other up, do something funny and spontaneous. Having a blast of a time instantly and easily connects you with people. Your life would slow down a little but would give you a chance to come into your own.
The contentment won’t be an excited kind of happiness. It’ll be more like being satisfied with what you have, whatever that is.
Let your belief drive your choices
There have been times through the years when I had cracked different assessments and was offered to be hired. But I simply couldn’t make peace with what was being offered or the services I was being asked to sell. Yes, the money was great, but money alone doesn’t make one happy. Saying no at that time felt like the best choice for my own personal happiness.
I couldn’t say much for everybody but making a choice that does not align to your core values will always leave you frustrated. At one point of time I was even thinking of getting healthier; pretty soon I was also filled with ideas to grow my own veggies in the backyard, hunt around for non GMP wheat and bake my own pizza bread! Of course I had to reel myself back in and focus on one single choice that brought about an actual change for me. I resolved never to trade anything on whims but weigh in my beliefs before picking.
Living life in a way that lined up with my values and beliefs was my choice to happiness. Today I feel more accomplished and more excited to set and reach other purposes.
Image source: ‘Watch and Pray’ by Tyrone Yarde in lifehopeandtruth.com
Too often we are not focused on our surroundings and unwittingly miss all the fun and joy which is right there. We wish the week away in anticipation of weekend partying, only to spend it preoccupied with thoughts of Monday blues not knowing that happiness is to be found here and now, not yesterday, not tomorrow!
When we wish our real life to be perfectly planned, propped and prepared like Pinterest images, we let our happiness slip our hands. Don’t let that happen to you and remember real life is awesome.
Make your move and trust me in New Year you’ll be happier and enjoy life more!
If you think that life is meant to make us feel good all the time then you’ve got happiness all wrong.
Sure we have been raised to avoid emotions that make us uncomfortable and fight shy of feelings that are painful and meant not to be felt. But don’t we crumble at the first signs of stress only because we have learnt to be pain averse all the time?
Why is it so hard to be happy when it is what we all want?
Sometimes we think of happiness as something that happens to us naturally. Yet it’s often jinxed! There is always something to be disappointed about our past that would make us struggle. Unable to shrug off, we let our worst fears overtake our will to be happy. This is when we jump at blaming the situation we’re in. “If only things were different, then I’d be happy.”
Only that’s not how happiness really works! Worse! if you’re born with a grumpy side and bad temper, it’s highly likely that you will never get past living frayed tempers, some bad blood and frequent blow ups.
I wasn’t born an upbeat person either!
I never took myself to be a sprightly bouncy person; I never was and nothing helped me either to tell myself; ”Ain’t I borne happy”? As I grew up, gloom darkened. “Where does most of the happiness that everybody is talking about come from?” I’d often go nuts. “If I’d ever want to be happier, is it possible to get there?”
For me happiness meant more than a yellow smiley mocking weirdly. I wanted it to be my ‘secret sauce’ to help me to be and do my best. It meant living and enjoying the goose bump moments; it meant luxuriating and indulging life to the very best. It meant letting positive vibes do good things to me and perk up my brain and body.
Like most of us, I too was struck with the idea of being happy. I had so many different ideas about what it is and how to get it, though none seemed hands-on then. Naive and unmindful and left with little choices, I looked for ways to a more positive outlook before everything grew stale and miserable and unhappy!
Here are five of the best ones I found helpful.
Image source: ’10 best inspirational videos’ by Joe Mechlinski in shiftthework.com on Mar.01, 2021.
Faking smile worsen everything-let go of it!
When everything was going downhill and nothing seemed doing well for me, strangely I felt little or no pity for myself for the rut I was in. Nothing would seem right to take the edge off my despair. Since I couldn’t do much, I simply endured self doubts and slogged.
It took me some time to figure out that a smile that happens all because of positive thoughts, has the ability to rekindle moods and would make me withdraw less.
I gave it a try!…
A bright cheerful one actually made me feel good. It lifted my spirits, raised my attentional flexibility and I would no longer worry much in upsetting situations.
Suddenly I was seeing the whole forest rather than just the trees.
Image source: getty images
Today, forcing a smile even when I don’t want to is enough to lift my mood and that surprisingly feels fine!
Go outside – Fresh air would brighten your day!
I guess Shawn Achor in ‘Happiness advantage‘ did share some pretty good news for those of us who worry so much about fitting new habits into already-busy schedules to make their lives easier and happier. Betting on better life experiences, his recommendation of 20 minutes is never short enough time to spend outside; something that you could fit into your commute or even lunch break!
I make time to go outside every day and spend 20 odd minutes in good weather. It elevates my mood, broadens thinking and cheers up my working memory. I am substantially happier when outdoors in all natural environments than when slugging around in urban territory.
And there’s more to it!
Did you know that ‘Happiness maximizes outdoors at 13.9 Celsius‘? That’s awesome! But then you simply have to live it to believe that. It’s fascinating what a small change in temperature and 20 minutes of fresh air can do to our well being.
For now I‘ve stopped living my fears. I flatter myself with brief pep moments when I go outside with crisp fresh air gently hugging me. I always find it happier outside. Early summer morning or a warm sunny wintry afternoon works just as fine for me.
Hang around with friends and family & fix your woes!
Togetherness and reaching out to family and friends is perhaps one of the top five regrets that most people take to their deathbeds. I never wanted to perish with a wish so gross. So I looked around for a lifeline and oddly was awestruck by the way Daniel Gilberts-a happiness expert– had spelled it out.
” We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends”.
Like love affinity means something different every time we say it. It’s what a acquaintance isn’t. You may find good mature ones but they don’t really last long or get you good deep rooted connections.
The cue worked darn well for me! I’m no whizz person but opening up to family and friends was enough to light up a smile in my life.
See… spending time in social circles becomes highly valuable when it comes to improving our happiness! It makes a big difference to how we perceive happiness. Nothing else could actually buy us those pearly moments of happiness.
Plan trips but don’t take one!
This sounds crazy but as opposed to actually taking a holiday, planning for one or just a small break from work, tweaks our happiness. In fact the latter spikes during the planning stage of a vacation as the sense of anticipation simply turns exhilarating.
Not many of us may have the luxury of long holidays. Worse, scuttled weekends are grumpier. So, if you cannot take the time for a vacation or even a night out with friends, put something on calendar- even if it’s a month or a year down the road.
Then … whenever you’re feeling miserable and lost and need a boost of happiness to get over your woes, remind yourself of all the good things that are going to happen to you in a short while.
Even a small push that could light up your mood is worth a try! I’m sure you’ll feel stoked and happier afterwards.
Rewire your brain to stir up a lasting sense of happiness
When Ani Tenzin Palmo-an English woman who spent 12 years in a cave in Tibet quipped; “We do not know what a thought is, yet we’re thinking them all the time”;perhaps she had not fully understood the neural bases of states like happiness, gratitude, resilience, love, compassion and so forth. Donald Hebb- a Canadian scientist, put this in a better way; “Neurons that fire together, wire together”. What this literally means that with proper practice we can trick our neural machinery to build up a positive state of mind!
The fact that we can actually alter the way our brain works through meditation was a big surprise to me. It somewhat reassured me of what I already knew but could hold on to; “We feel and think today isn’t permanent”. Every thought of attempting to raise levels of happiness thereafter would be just as overwhelming.
Image source: Getty images.
Geez…today, in the minutes following meditation, what I experience is epic. Calmness and heightened awareness is what comes after this dazzling cytokine storm of positivity.
I certainly love to be happier, as I’m sure most of you too. But much as it is interesting, it is no surprise that different people have different ideas about how to get it. The truth is that happiness doesn’t occur by chance; it’s a constant choice, we have to make every second of every day.
I’m sure someday you too will just as well find peace and happiness at will and celebrate life as you ever wanted to.
In 1975 Eric Carmen had given us that beautiful immortal number,“All by myself, don’t want to be all by myself.” It sounded distant and obscure then but it cut through the isolating thoughts that had ruffled my mind for long and upset my nerves. It was perhaps much later I could realize I had found a way to stay connected to myself. Life felt faring much better when I decided to get surrounded by truly good people.
Interestingly it is only now decades later, I could fully understand that togetherness is an optimistic joyous emotion which helps us to shrug off the confining thoughts that would otherwise always keep tormenting us. It calms our nerves and gives room to see more options than we normally would. The only dew eyed part is that once connected to somebody, it’s harder to think of the times bereft of each other.
No matter how eagerly we may wish otherwise and try to avoid this, we could never escape our share of heartbreaks.I guess so long as our heart beats, it’s vulnerable to crushing teary blues invariably. It’s only a matter of time before it gets wounded.
Still the idea of being alone, broken hearted and in anguish is not always seen as a good thing. Too often when emotionally devastated, instead of confronting the shattering awkwardness of loneliness, despair would silently lead us further into the sink hole. Does this means that none of two experiences are mutually exclusive? Should being broken hearted necessarily mean a stormy screwed up life ahead?
Getting to the point where you enjoy being alone and I dare say happy too- is one powerful choice that is very rewarding once you’re comfortable in it. A boat load of science also shows that keeping the head above water is one remarkable way to rough out the tough times. It leaves us much happier, healthier and more successful.
In that sense, growing to know yourself in grief and bitterness, is the first step to learn how to win over your misery and smile again.
Here are three simple ways to just get that!
Image source: ‘6 things you need to know to succeed with Instagram collaborations’ in blog.inzpireme.com on Ap.21, 2021.
Fix what’s failed
Many of us think we already know ourselves perhaps more than we want to, but most of what we know is probably who we really are and not who we should be or shouldn’t be. Few would argue that not every intervention could solve logjams in life each time they happen. Heartbreaks are inevitable and they’d continue to remind us of our limits.
Many a times, you’d go up to the roof top, cry and look up at the stars, argue bitterly with the silence around you about the unfairness of everything; but in time we all surrender to our grieves.
This is when you’ve given in to sadness; a faint urge to reclaim and get back to life frenetically urges you to react. This is the moment when you begin to recover and tell yourself “I must move on”. But there is no happiness if you choose to remain wrapped up in yourself. You are one among countless of those whose heart gets wounded in some way each day.
Going down into the company of genuinely fine people and indulging in the comforting warmth of a companion- who makes it easy for you to believe in yourself- is a sure sign that you’ve found a way to blow-off your steam. Finally you’re among those who’d truly stand up for you and embolden you to go on living…more enriched and warm and loving.
Have no doubts, you’ll find happiness right under your nose!
Forget quiet quitting? You’ll draw a blank.
What Warren Buffet meant when he said that your overall happiness in life comes down to four simple words; ’Do what you love ’ if you want to start it all over again; it might have sounded like a battle cry to many. But when you do what you love, an alignment occurs between your heart and head and your values and the things that bring you purpose. Just as you cannot have purpose without passion, the desire for change becomes inevitable. With ‘your bad’ caving in, the wounded heart heals quickly.
Speaking of it, sometimes doing what you do, fails you. It sucks but there is not much you can do about it. Take stress to turn things your way and it would make you go limp again. This is when an escape to creative pursuits is your deliverance. Doing simple things like music, dance writing, drawing or even drama lends an emotional vent to a distraught mind. If you can’t think of anything right away, a tutorial to acquire newer skills and knowledge or an on-line course of interest will revive you within to reach better ends.
Look…when you do what you love most, there’s a high likelihood that you’ll be distracted from turmoil within and nothing would hurt the same any more. You’ll wake up each morning knowing lots of stuff is broken and more is about to break but nothing would tear through you any longer. Everything under the sun would look just fine.
So, take a step back and let the life happen!
Want to live your best? Stop being dragged down!
Relationships that do not begin or end well often make us underestimate how much life’s turns and twists could take out of our control. But the inexorable truth is that we all are blessed with an incredible ability to bounce back from even the hardest splits and each time give a wonderful flip to it.
“I wish I could go back in the past and make things turn out differently”; “I don’t know how to cope up with when everything’s falling apart”. Thoughts like these might do a million runs a day in your head with no clarity in sight and the shame of screwed-up situation would keep returning as rage.This is when collapse needs to be counteracted.
Begin the unhinging and find ways to hold the self together.
Building a relationship with yourself is a good start. It involves getting to know yourself, as much you’d want of anybody else. When we spend time focusing on ourselves, we acknowledge and could assess the loss up to this point only. So, all you’d need to do is to keep reminding yourself; ‘putting myself first is after all a healthy move!
Small flames always burn strong and bright. Hiking or walk out in the woods or chronicling your day, is a good start of your personal journey to love yourself. The emotional release that follows will be a completely authentic moment when you can listen to your broken heart, nurse it and mend everything quickly and find a more meaningful pursuit in life.
Image source: ‘The realisation that changed my life’ by TNN/Spardha Pandey in timesofindia.indiatimes.com on Oct.26, 2018.
Next time when a sense of loneliness threatens you; your heart begins to pound with anxiety and thunders of hopelessness begin to rush through veins clouding your judgment; pause and take notice of all that that’s happening around you. Never let go of the thought that your bad too will pass. Resist the need to judge everything happening to you; instead simply being curious or compassionate would reset your course to be happy again!
Maybe it’s a while before you’d grow a real connection with your new Wheelhouse, but quite truthfully pay-offs will be huge!
And someday you’ll count yourself lucky to be whoever you are!
Why making a Life is more important than making a living!
Are you someone who absolutely loves heading to the Office every day? Or even if you don’t maybe you’re connected enough that you simply cannot resist showing up. You keep giving your all unceasingly; sometimes murdering yourself, all the time hoping that this turns out to be your best bet at acing everybody’s attention and getting taller professionally.
I guess, people who fit in this category are unwittingly married to their jobs and often are set out as ‘living to work’.
If you’re a Zoomer, you know what it’s like; the excitement of being resourceful, independent and liberal is overwhelming, way better than the dudes from Gen-X might have experienced. You’re the perfect portrayal of a deep seated personal connection to the work that you do for a fat pay-check. Perhaps you believe that success happens only to those who have an all–round desire and true commitment to work. You’re not unaware as well that this runs the risk of compromising health and quality of life outside work place.
Yet on the flip side, many choose to separate the idea of ‘doing what I love’ from “I’ll do what I must to make a living”. For them it like ‘discovering a long lost passion’; so foreign and yet entirely removed from reality where work is what you do and not who you are!
Speaking of which, do you take on more work than you must? Are you putting in more hours than you ought to? When is the time to quietly start doing less to the extent that it appears not quitting after all?
How bad is too much of a good thing?
Living to work for most of us is like crossing the fine line between being occupied and being eaten-up by work. Your work life balance is at risk when you let disproportionate amount of your time and energy spent on your career.
People, who live to work count heavily on work for thrills and kicks and shut out other sources of joy and happiness. What’s worse, addicted to the adrenaline that comes from solving a crisis or tying self-worth to work, these people would often find themselves on the fast track to burnout.
See…over engagement is never free of its perils. With time, distraught work-life balance takes its toll. Your ability to handle stress is impaired and your overall well being gets affected. And more often than not, you won’t be to see it because you’re moving so fast, completely absorbed in the reality that you’ve created — knowingly or not.
So what’s the point?
Image source: ‘7 ways to reduce work-related stress’ by Neil Spooner in resetmindbodysoul.co.uk on Oct. 08, 2020.
When you fail to find the ‘just right’ level of engagement, you live your life on one extreme or the other always struggling to find the right kind of work-life balance.
But the grass is not greener for those either who consider doing little less at work, re prioritize work versus life or refuse to take a bigger chew than the one’s mandated or must.
Hell yes of course!…When you work to live, you miss out on that rich sense of fulfillment that only a meaningful pursuit brings forth.
Did I miss something?
The 10 hour work day -like so many people I braced for 30 long years, -never ever for once went out of fashion. It stood firm then and it’s as stoic today except that nowadays it’s your call how to balance everything in the new age. The strings were as tight then as they are now.
Jinxed and marred with bad breaks, I spent an entire lifetime slogging to build a career and in the process woefully destroyed part of me. I kept judging whether it was of any worth at all, despite knowing all the while that in reality I couldn’t ‘undo’ or ‘reboot’ anything. I had no widget, no push button…none other than a blue sky above and some wishful thinking. I yearned for one. So many things I would’ve loved to rescript for a better tomorrow! Of course, there was always another tactical choice at hand; “Do it the new way. Thiscertainly was a flattering option and like everybody else my age, I was gullible. I fell for it and chose to use it.
The thought of shaping a better life and a taller me never felt fictional then.
I know I’ve never been great at work and I have struggled long enough trying to figure out why I wasn’t fine and famous at it. I would usually end up comparing myself to friends and rivals who have been fervently neck deep in work and have made some great careers and good living out of it.
It’s only after so many years of imperfections and wanting, I could discover that I was in fact truly happy, living my life doing what I wanted to do- endeavoring, indulging and battling! Sometimes winning at others loosing, yet never letting myself forget the battles that I survived.
I had chosen to work what I “could do” and not what I “wanted to do”.
If only I had known then what I know now, maybe I could have had both of them a lot sooner- ‘living a great life and making a living the way I love most’.
I would let the life happen!
Life is short and full of shifts and ebbs and flows. You just can’t exist to make a living. It’s more than about living decently… ordinarily! We all deserve more and entitled to a life full of joy and happiness.
And who said it’s too late to flatter yourself?
I know how important is to earn for a good living. But you can make a living and still make a life! It’s all about perspective; about whom you love most; you as a person or as a pen pusher. With pliable mindset and a bit of allowance for wise adjustments you could let the real troubleshooter in you make life deep and smiling.
Image source: ‘Live to work or work to live? 72 per cent of Brits go to work just to get by’ by Owen Gough in smallbusiness.co.uk on Dec.08, 2017.
Of course, ‘working to live ‘or ‘living to work’ aren’t the only choices available. It’s absolutely possible to put the two shoes together and yet walk on sunshine. Breaking away from either of the two could though actually help you find a breezy life-work balance in a hurry.
Seriously, sometimes taking a few steps back — or a few steps forward — breaks the barrier standing between you and the life you have painted for yourself!
True to its name ‘The small plate’ seemed quite literally tucked away with a signage that was so easy to miss behind a thicket of trees in my residential neighborhood. Truly foolish of me but I had grown a silly fondness for this charming tuck away café. At a stone’s throwaway distance, this quaint little bistro offered a mini range of sandwiches and loads of savory delights adorned the shelves to partner the evening chai.
But like any typical teenybopper, I was all eyes only for that delicious spicy potato stir fry roast, sizzling hot scrumptious samosas and delightful warm pesto chili cheese oozing of a racy and peppery sweetness. Some yummy great tasting that was! Cooling off the after-zing with a scoop of a hazelnut ice cream or a sip of a freshly made warm brew of cappuccino…well! Who could ever think up of anything to outdo this crunch of an evening straight out of an ASMR video? No! I certainly wouldn’t have missed that for anything.
Geez! That place was my Xanadu; one exotic luxury I‘d set my heart on.
Fast forward…
Twenty years later I dearly miss my post-card perfect moments of rainy afternoons and sultry evenings, hanging around and spending most of the time straddling my favorite creaky four legged wooden barstool in the café; that tingling aftertaste of chili cheese, the warm balmy smell of crumbly croissants straight out of wood fired oven, the gushing flavors of hot heavenly samosas dripping of mint tamarind chutney, the tantalizing smell of turmeric sourdough toast with a generous dollop of butter and the towering glass of hot chocolate all whipped up thick with pure Belgian chocolate; every memory is a torment!
It’s so hard to forget those bang-up times!
But then like everything else, there is always a good time to ditch frizzles and fries and move on to healthy yummy snacks, especially when craving for munchies hits mid day or when you think you’ve run out of choices to side with your evening cuppa chai!
Like everybody else, the moment clock strikes 5 in the evening my gut starts groaning and makes grumpy noises. Despite knowing the ill effects of fried snacks, I am tempted and fantasize of warm fried rice and chili potato platter; far from what anybody would wish for health goals. But unlike what you may think, I always choose to suffer. A heavy sigh and all thoughts of a finger licking luxury of sumptuous brownies or that self-destroying flash fried crackling high food are set aside.
Yet, I do not put the shutter down on my evening snacks and still enjoy them with a hot cup of tea!
So, if not the fried cutlets or chili potatoes, then, what’s there for me to eat?
Well, here’re five healthy low cal yummy snacks, laden with a number of nutrients and health benefits that like me you can add to your ‘eve-nosh’ without worrying about upsetting your waist line.
Luscious, mouth-watering! Dig in and you’ll thank me for the heads up.
Sautéed Sprouts, Corn and Peas Chaat
A rainbow bowl filled with fresh chopped veggies and paired with sautéed sprouts, corn and peas seasoned with that funky, salty, spicy sour blend of chaat masala, invites you to an umami like intensity, inexplicable depth and complexity. Adding overnight soaked chickpeas gives the dish a heavily nutritious punch! Throw in the veggies you love most; chopped cucumber, tomatoes, onions, olives and jalapeño, just about anything from your crisper is all you need to transform this catchy bite into a perfect tea time snack.
The heart of this delight though, I must say lies with the otherworldly blend of spices. Mysterious and forceful, it may smell somewhat alarmingly like rotten eggs to some, but the effect it has on your bowl or even a sandwich, a piece of fruit, a salad dressing and a million other things, is simply divine.
Fire-toasted masala Papadam
Simply super tasty and super quick, this is one guilt free anytime snack that would leave your mouth zinging with aft-flavors. Made with pulses and flour, the low cal Papad is high in fiber and protein and works similar to a probiotic, promoting growth of good bacteria and improving digestion by whipping up digestive juices and enzymes which are essential for metabolism.
Finely chopped veggies like tomatoes and onions adorning it, have high water content and carry Vitamin C, Vitamin K, folate, potassium. Antioxidant properties of tomatoes reduces the risk of cancer and several heart diseases. Onions help control blood sugar levels, boost up bone density and have antibacterial properties.
Seasonings like asafetida, cinnamon, black pepper and allspice are a great help in abdominal pain, bloating, gastric problems and digestion and reduces chances of stomach infections.
Baked Kachori
If you’re the one with a bent for a bit of wet and wintry weather, well…then let’s say cravings for fried food is bound to torment you every so often. And if you could ride out the elements wouldn’t you love to nosh on hot samosas or flaming fritters?
Often looked-upon as one of the best-loved snacks to side a cup of hot tea, this baked delight on the other side, is a perfect lip smacking body bloom choice when gently pattering rains have sneaked in or when a foggy dank wintery evening finds you in a sullen mood.
Baked kachori is guilt free healthy twist to otherwise gettable deep fried bites that beckon so invitingly. Beans, peas, lentils, nuts, seeds and whole grains; just about every one of them bring the right fiber-rich luxuriance to your platter to help you win over your belly fat quickly.
Made with whole wheat flour and stuffed with coarsely grinded skinless black gram lentil and spices like chili, coriander, fennel and much more, baked kachori is unmistakably a super delectable combination of both health and taste.
Pair it up with your dip and savor the difference!
Beetroot Kebab
Image source: ‘Beetroot Kebabs’ by Neha in mymasalabox.in on Feb.06, 2021.
If you think healthy food can’t be tasty then this crispy beetroot kebab will change your mind. Crunchy, smoky and made with kidney beans and beets pairing velvety yellow mustard dip, beetroot kebabs are meant to leave you strung out. A perfect appetizer and powerhouse of energy, these kebabs are a definite showstopper at the tea table! Brimming with antioxidants, kebabs hardly have any calories and not only they look gorgeously inviting; they super quick to make! Some food processor action, a bit of stop top roasting and you’ve served yourself a veggie fare that’s loaded with spicy, tangy and savory flavors!
Put together with a creamy yellow-brown silk smooth mustard dip and there’s just no better match!
Puffed Rice Bhel
Image source: ‘Bhel Puri – An Indian street food and tea time snack; by Archana Doshi in archanaskitchen.com on Nov.28, 2007.
Tangy and spice, this yum low calorie snack is a super addictive phenomena of papadis, puffed rice, sev, onions, potatoes, raw mango and chutneys packing a mélange of unparallel flavors and textures.
Typically made with dry cereal, fresh chopped vegetables, lemon juice and peanuts; simple but sensational chutneys beef up the zing of this mouthwatering crunchy ‘beach snack’ that would also happen to bring a wholesome evening delight straight to your table. More often you’ll find bhel puri with two chutneys-a sweet tamarind one and spicy green chutney. But actually it’s the red pungent garlic paste that reconstructs the whole pot-pourri to an irresistible medley of flavors!
You could build on an extra crunch to this light snack by adding some roasted walnuts or sesame seeds!
Seriously… be it a racy morning or a lazy tea and crumpets evening, don’t we all just love a cup of chai as aft-brew for that instant gratification? Chai is not just a beverage; it’s an emotion that sets everything right away. Pair it with one of the most loved lip smacking healthy light crunchy snack and you’re spoilt for options.
And…you don’t wreak havoc on your wellness, if you know how to stick to a healthy and clean eating.
Now that you’ve learned a bit of everything…go ahead; flatter yourself!
Ever since Tom Peters lured his way into the workspace of millions of career workers and professionals by reimagining the way ‘personal branding’ works; business speaks, love to hate pep talks at lunch breaks and crazy hashtags swarming the inter-web; all have buckled to ‘personal image’ as something to be reckoned with. It’s no longer about the lettering or labeling alone; it’s our own sense of worth that has come to matter. ‘The Brand Called you in 1997’, ‘The Start-Up of You’; why else would bookshelves today brandish neatly stacked up advices on how to maximize your personal branding, become an influencer and above all stand tall in the crowd? However, they need not perplex you if you are mindful enough of gulf between an advice and a warning …
So…are you really your own self at work? Have you been good at balancing your different Worlds? Are you the one for whom there is always a sharp divide between work and home lives? …and interestingly, don’t you want to keep it that way knowing well that you’d never ever be free of hiatuses?
It’ Ok to be yourself. Each one of us is way different in how we cope with our experiences. Some of us manage well and grow; others struggle and often sink. But either way there are moments of downside in between for all of us and it’s not impossible to become too risk-averse about the same time. It’s as difficult to hide a part of you and hesitate to rub shoulders freely. Because doing so would mean masking a part of you all the time and …that can be gross and very tiring. Cloak yourself at work, and you prevent others to reach out to you fully!
My understanding of this ball game is rather plain sailing; it’s a simple confection of three infamous anomies- frequent gut wrenching feeling of being overworked, underpaid and usually underrated! And, if you couldn’t belt-tighten forever, it sure is a tough call for you to constantly climb uphill.
This is when, I guess you fall prey to the harsh side of plutocracy and obviously won’t do well at achieving high value ‘ends’. And when that happens…
Nothing beats that creepy cold dislike for everything around you and awful urge to bite the hand that feedsyou; especially when you know that you’ve been good at work and yourself all the time. The ambush doesn’t stop here! You get tired and sick of being asked to do extra tasks outside your normal position because you’re eyed as the ‘expert’ or ‘best’ but have little or no heart for it?
Seriously….it’s time to put an end to this everyday insanity and do something to feel highly valued than taken advantage of. Nothing earth shattering of course! But if you wish to try your hand at something worthwhile to bring in a positive change in your life, check out with these three life altering choices. Heaven knows, you might ease your way into the castle without being loud or messy and without being hung out to dry!
The habit of acceptance unclogs
Image source: ’10 side gigs you can do from home’ by Alison Doyle in thebalancecareers.com on Aug.10, 2022.
If you are a stickler to rules with a bent to fight the things you can’t change, then I guess you’re to blame for all your sorrows that keep hurting you all the time. It’s simple…the more time you spend trying to change uncontrollable situations in your life, the more you get scammed by anger and stress and you’re never future ready.
It sucks! but this is how it works. Stay trussed up with a fiery mix of emotions, everything anywhere would feel schmuck. Nothing would seem to happen quick and easy.
All screwed up? Not to worry…there’s always a way to fit-in! Just remind yourself that the world never backs off whenever things go south for you. And at the end of the day, it’s your share of scares that brings you cold feet!
Yet, I think it’s Ok to be mindful …you taking all the responsibility for everything happening around you. Awesome!… you might be an instant hit in a population minority. Still, if you feel gutted and dismay tugs at your heart, then in all probability you’ve missed out one final chapter in your work book; acceptance.
Rancid and unsavory sometimes, one good thing about it is that it really changes your life. And one bad thing is its works differently for each one of us. But one thing about it is conclusive. If you could figure out how to weigh-in your choices, it would get you one step closer to being warm and alive again!
Simply learn to unlearn the habit of non-acceptance. Stop identifying with the things you aren’t accepting. Stay close to reality. It would bail you out of most uncertainties. Your willingness to experience things as they are, instead of insisting that they be as you want them to be, is what will bring the change. And knowing that “everything is or can be temporary” would help in becoming special.
No need to die a thousand deaths
Image source: ‘Prioritise yourself, set boundaries: Effective ways to deal with burnout at work’in economictimes.indiatimes.com on Jul.18, 2022.
Sometimes when you’re wading through tough times, you get so distracted and lost that you can’t see straight. Emotions overwhelm and perspectives cloud. You get vulnerable all the more when the fight between ‘old school style brass’ and your attempts at building ‘personal branding’ turns intense. It hurts…literally everybody!
This is when you need to step back and look deeper at your situation subtly from outside; somewhat more like a “a fly on the wall” or “a lone passerby on the street“. You will get the much needed objectivity to overcome your negative thoughts. A long list of problems might have left you jittery, but few moments of emotional distancing will make you feel better and outshine the crowd in the right way at the right time.
Just be willing to let go of all that once was!
Genuine connections are comforting
Image source: ‘ What does it mean to “be yourself” at work?’ by Tim Eisenhauer in axerosolutions.com
No matter what we’re doing, we always feel better when we do it with others. Our brains are wired like that. Social bonding is irrefutably the most crucial shot in the arm for determining our happiness. It helps in taking care of ourselves and builds trust.
In work life, it happens rather differently. The din, the outcry, the backlash just about everything becomes a natural barrier to trusting each other. It simply wouldn’t let you connect with others.
When that happens it becomes difficult to forge a meaningful association with a person who is in fact someone different than the personality you’re seeing? And to rake up some trust over that? Well! that’s some raw asking!
Feature credits: ‘’How to succeed’ by Mr Monk in YouTube.com on Dec.20, 2013.
Incredibly! …legit or otherwise, bosses and managers think differently and are cold eyed about how to lead and manage without being vulnerable or revealing their more authentic self. Maybe this is what Robert Reich’s ‘harsh form of capitalism’ is all about.
All the same, if you feel trapped, vilified and find yourself struggling with too many things at the same time, you might be injuring yourself thinking ill all the time. Bail yourself out by creating your own brand; one that is truly personal. Of course you’re in charge of how much you reveal, but let people around you have enough of a glimpse to let them truly connect, understand and engage with the real you. Surely we grow by building for scale and not by aggregating it to someone else’s advantage.
Honestly, it’s your turn now to bone up your take on a struggle that in fact is not real.
Consider everything else non-negotiable when it comes to taking care of yourself.
Julian Danielly of Aladan Corp. never over rated the bourses swings or market pulse. The upbeat outlook later was to make him emerge as a global leader in latex gloves and durex manufacturing.
Image source: ‘Lucky Numbers and Science’ by Heiko Dudzus in assertnotmagic.com
And it didn’t happen accidentally.
One in a million lucky breaks!
Well…the only piece of luck, if you may call it, happened when he got fired by his previous employer Ansell Corp in August 1986! He had a harrowing time finding buyers for the ugly duckling of items coming out of his own stable in early years of struggle but eventually could strike a good deal with Aussies who wanted to enter the U.S. market in a hurry.
Does this mean that luck smiled or hurt him by chance alone? Has it got nothing to do with his choices or efforts? If luck is that real in deciding our everyday fate, what about the truth that everything fell his way more out of grind than luck happening as an accident?
Speaking of it, don’t we incorrectly use the word luck to avoid taking responsibilities for our choices? We consider ourselves lucky; if we are born healthy and able bodied; if we have a perfect weather on our day off; if a stranger buys us a coffee and compliments with a “have a nice day.”; if we put a dime in a slot machine and win a jackpot bonus; all such things happening truly benefit us and yet are completely out of our control.
On the contrary, what we consider bad luck is what harms us by chance. We feel unlucky, when we get a flat on our way to work; when our flight gets cancelled and we sit for six long hours at airport hoping to get a seat in the next one, worse still may be at the back of the plane next to a hollering baby. In fact, the upshot of completely out-of-control event makes us feel unlucky, dejected and perhaps angry!
What when it comes to money?
If Randy Schutt’s- a long-time progressive activist and researcher- unforgiving illustration of unequal luck is to be believed then when it comes to money, fate does matter quite a bit!. The idea that hard work is all that’s needed for health, wealth and happiness, is all a blind caper! “The Chancy Islands: A Land of Equally Capable People But With Unequal Luck” explains just how much of dumb luck, bit of a chance and slice of encouraging circumstances can play monkey in ‘who becomes wealthy and who stays poor’!
Beaten down by the everyday dismal science of bread and butter, most of us consider ourselves lucky if we could manage enough to get by; very lucky if we’re doing well and extremely lucky if we‘re super rich.
But to ride the circumstances and become wealthy!…well, that’s usually not true. Some people amass huge wealth even in face of random shocks of accidents, disasters and windfall fortunes. Others continue to wallow into shortages and sleep rough without having done anything to deserve deprivation.
Tax the wealthy in popular ways and hope for eliminating long term equality! Well…economic mobility does help those born in the bottom fifth of the wellness ladder to sweat their way up; but rebalancing the chances with choices is a lost dream for most people.
It’s quirky and gets corrupted each time we try to rejig it!
Image source: pexels.com
Feeling lucky? Start counting your blessings
Ever wondered why so many gamblers risk a loss knowing well the odds of a win are against them? Is the belief that dice is ‘hot’ in a winning streak good enough for them to keep going? Why do we all expect heads on a coin toss next, after several flips have turned up tails each time? Is luck got something to do with it or is it simply a fickled mind’s illusion?
For most of us luck still matters-profoundly! As entertaining and informative as it is, our belief in it and the decrepit mindset of winning or losing an opportunity, never fails to sell us a million dollar bet on luck, each time we get the chance to ace it. Somebody’s struck with catastrophic illness, another’s winning a jackpot; without a healthy dose of good luck, nothing meets success. We all know that but prefer to believe that we are more in control of our lives than we actually are.
That doesn’t mean that we give up or stop trying in the hope that luck would influence the random events that come our way; good or bad, one way or another! There‘s a lot we can do to ensure that only the good one keeps flowing your way.
Everything is impossible until it isn’t!
For years altogether, I have taught myself to listen to the very first half awake thoughts in the morning. It’s amazing! I always end up with list of things that I am grateful today. I am alive; I am happy and there’s plenty of comforting things around me. People love me, mates respect me and friends admire me….so many good things are happening around me and there is so much to do in life.
Then there’s of course a list of bad things that could have happened but didn’t. For that I thank my…good luck for buying me yet another safe day.
Trust nobody but yourself; nothing would better your day than to start it by getting on the ‘field of life’ and every time taking a swingfor the fences. I begin mine by giving it my best to stay alive and improve.
Image source: pexels.com
I believe, fortune never fails those who choose to give it their all.
Bad luck is real and so are bad choices!
I’m so often struck by the way people talk of luckin everyday gossip as something that only hurts or benefits by chance; nobody talks much of choices. The truth is that most of us keep lying to ourselves by blaming luck for our misfortunes. And we do this frequently in situations or around people who would remind us of truth about ourselves without restraint.
So, to keep the good fortunes flowing your way; try hanging out with this naked truth; ‘Luck doesn’t get us to bourses- making money and thrive is a choice that nobody would ever let go’.
Feature credits:’‘Luck /Apple TV+’ in youtube.com on May13, 2022.
Life is full of randomness and is not obliged to give you what you expect. Pulling up each day and buckling down, to get more tailwinds than headwinds will make you covet your choices more than surreal luck.
When you want to spot a lie, listen for the word luck and when you get that, ask yourself; “Isn’t this only about avoiding taking responsibilities?”
Clichés aside, once you’ve braced yourself enough to own the truth and wouldn’t pause for luck; you surely will get your chance at change.
Besides it’s never any good to bet on some crapshooter illusion!
Warren Buffett certainly knows a thing a two about wealth management but his best one is straight out of pure common sense and is a polite reminder to always stay in your lane.
‘Success depends largely on knowing your strengths and weaknesses’.
But what happens when your anger begins to showcase your negative side? What then is there to make you truly happy?
Image source: ‘Five Reasons Being Moody Is Actually Good for You’ by Joseph Paul Forgas in vice.com on May 11, 2018.
Often we spend our entire lives looking for things that bring us happiness. While what brings joy to one person might be different from what brings happiness to another, there are few basic things that we all need to be happy. Amongst them, anger like regret and worries is an influencing emotion and the only key to our happiness in some way.
Look…we all do certain things to survive and a few more to be happy. But we do know that there is no shortcut in between. Sometimes it’s the good positive habit of accepting others unconditionally that does someone’s heart good. At others it’s the emotions involved in taking care of ourselves that lit the spark of joy somewhere in our lives. Incredibly, loving the things we do is what makes for some genuine happiness.
Imagine what would happen if in your sullenness you do things that are not natural of you, only to distract you from everyday challenges? What if you never have had any heart for any of them and yet slog on? Binge-watching, eating mindlessly, going on buying spree even though you don’t truly need things, would only worsen your mood. Pushing ahead without truly enjoying anything would make you feel roasted and bad tempered. And like it or not your dense behavior would flame out your pie-in-the-sky thoughts, if any, in a flash.
One way to get out of this rut truly, is to seize the day and live in the moment. Doing so helps to elude the most nightmarish of emotions; regret anger and worry; the three brassy devils that are at the dead center of our lives and determine our happiness. But is it enough… to stop focusing much on regrets and anger about the past or worries about the future? Is this all we need to build a truly happy peaceful life?
See…our brains are hardwired to live in the past and future at the same time. You just can’t learn your present without living in the past and you can’t plan your tomorrow without living in the future.
Frayed tempers, we all know could tear apart a relationship if go unchecked for long. Minus one little bit of humility and your affinity would go for a toss; everything gets ruined for good! Above all you’re stricken with cold feet, never ready for a difficult task ahead and would remonstrate easily.
Does this mean the end of everything shining bright? Is there a way to make sure that fears of failure never reach you? If only there could be a way to ignore the sob stories surrounding expectations!
The upsides of defensive pessimism are heartening and might just be the right game plan for you to follow. Dismayed! Don’t be… it earns you a chance at managing your future events and lets you ride out the obstacles. I won’t say it’s epic but it allows you to set for yourself reasonably low expectations of success and encourages not going overboard over any potential failure.
Believe me; it doesn’t get any better than this. You’d overcome your fears and obstacles more calmly even if you’re unsure of everything and not feeling good about it. It’s easy to deceive and sell to ourselves that we have full control over our happiness. But bluffing always ends at cross purposes.
Adversity, stress, unfairness, everything shapes how we feel. To believe that you can think yourself better simply by focusing on positive emotions, is at the very least naïve.
Here’s how to stay hopeful and give your best even when you’re uneasy, disquieted and feeling prickly;
Image source: pexels.com
Stick to the things that you’re good at, not what’s cool
Remember Alex cross in 2001 thriller ‘Along Came a Spider’!…
“You do what you are. You’re born with a gift. If not that, then you get good at something along the way. And what you’re good at, you don’t take for granted”.
Many of us waste a lot of time chasing pipe dreams to learn few new things that we think are cool and reckon worthy of learning. It could be anything; from a programming language to new framework or even some difficult topic in deep learning. But before that!…everyone of us want to be good at things we’re passionate about. Not many of us, of course even know what exactly that is.
Trying to figure out it out is hard enough on its own. And it gets even trickier when you’re banging your head on a wall to make sense of what being good at something is all about.
For a start, think of Alex Cross whenever you’re in a cranky mood and feeling miserable. You might be helping yourself to figure out your strengths and what you’re naturally good at. Yet even when in one of your most peevish moods, don’t ever think of chasing waterfalls.
You’re already the greatest of what you could be.
Do what you love, not what you like
Knowing your strengths, doing exactly what you’re good at and putting all your heart into it, rewards you with all the fun and happiness you desire- otherwise what’s the point of getting rid of that ratty mood? What Tim Cook meant when he said “Do what you love, and put your whole heart into it, and then just have fun” isn’t hard to guess.
I had spent a lot of time thinking over how to evolve a pursuit that I love most when my work and career means something that I can’t help but keep going. The thoughts often left me grumpy and fuming. Deep down I knew that somehow I needed to optimize my life… but how? Wasn’t that something that I always want to do in the first place?
And then I decided to do more of the things I loved and less of the things I liked. It felt cleaner, fulfilling and helped me get in better shape.
Image source: istockphoto.com.
So, before you decide to shock yourself to shake off that low mood, take a deep breath and tell yourself that this is a question that everyone asks themselves at some point in their lives. Everyone wants to be good at things they’re passionate about. It’s just as you must cut back on things you like, to make room for what you love, you should also cut back on the your shoulds.
Still all fret and fumes trying to figure out if this is the answer to what you want to do for the rest of your life?
As I said, figuring out what it is that you’re good at, is a great place to begin with!
In an ideal World, Roe vs Wade would endure, people would unite and stand up to fight Covid and Law makers everywhere would have acted long ago to prevent gun tragedies!
But rather than wishing, shouldn’t we be prepared for a change first?
Image source: ‘From Parkland to Sunrise: A Year of Extraordinary Youth Activism’ by Emily Witt in newyorker.com on Feb.13, 2019.
Guns get all the blame for mass killing every time it happens. An intense life–and-death debate rages for a while and then dies down. Memories and moods remain surreal and short lived. And it’s not long before everybody finds recluse in more earthy issues and moves on. Scores of 4th graders, grocery shoppers and church goers killed in mindless homicides, continue to get reduced to framed memories.
Meanwhile, the Apex court everywhere conveniently locks horns with law makers over contentious gun reforms and abortion bills and none of the arguments coming out of them makes any sense. Political, constitutional or safety of public interests, everything just pales into some super sad pointless ghost story that has no takers.
See…the buzz is so deafening that nobody took notice when the new strain of corona virus crept in quietly!
I use common sense when deciding who should lead and govern and be responsible for my safety and well being. I am also reminded and not forgotten the Boston bombings, mass killings of 9/11, 26/11 and 15/9 (London’sParson Green metro bombings). And yet I don’t see any reason for anyone owning an assault rifle or a rapid fire weapon. Background checks or pesky formalities for owning a weapon, make life seem so cheap by selling cheap. The only argument in defense…every non-felon ought to be armed against the menace!
If you buy this, owning a fire arm for you, is not only logical but prudent. But to me, it’s more like living in flood plains and buying flood insurance.
So, should you be doing it? Only if you uphold that every one of us has descended from slime and there is no eternal consequence for anything atrocious that is done. But once you buy the idea- ‘that your personal arsenal is your best bet against an unknown threat’ no amount of tragedy can persuade you to ditch it. It’s intoxicating, it’s horrendous…it’s ghastly! Not even the slaughter of innocent children and teachers or unsuspecting shoppers or tired workers returning home could persuade you to forget this abhorrent solution.
Then there’s something more to this…
Even if you find gun massacres like the one at Robb elementary school, Uvalde Texas that left 19 children and 2 adults dead, atrociously horrifying, I bet you’d still prefer to see everything distantly; dispassionate and unconnected from the entire tragedy. You have kept your guns safe and secure, possibly under lock and key and consider yourself a responsible gun owner. So, some lunatic did the killings. Right…? It’s a shame that the pain and loss never reaches you.
Image source: ‘Florida school shooting: 19-year-old accused of killing 17 is a ‘broken child,’ lawyer says’ by Karma Allen & Emily Shapiro in abcnews.go.com on Feb.16, 2018.
If you carry this logic, all you’d do is offer moments of silence and prayers but resist reforms. The same asinine perception makes you a different person; one who counters bad guys with guns and believes that more good guys are needed with more guns!
If you ask me it’s more like reliving an old-school Western fantasy again- ‘gunmen square off and the ranger always kills the desperado’.
Of course yes! Gun laws everywhere do need changes, but would that mean arming even the teachers and school going kids? I’m sure you wouldn’t want them to. Besides it’s not what a teacher signs up for! Personally, I can’t imagine of an elementary school teacher hopping around with a gun in the classroom, all trigger happy to ward off a threat.
Every life is as dear as it could ever be. And we need to do something to show that. Ricocheting from one tragedy to another is not normal. What are needed are stringent gun reforms with proven track of reduced violence and fire arm homicides. There were armed guards at both the Buffalo and Uvalde massacres, yet the slaying didn’t fell short. Protests and incensed emotions won’t do much except rip apart the existing gun laws.
Till necessary amendments begin to rebuild trust, everything shall remain where it is. It’s a sad inconvenience but loss of lives will be around us for some more time to come.
Whatever…the solution is not more guns! Critics inevitably may have some more to argue over mental health, but till the arbitrage strikes balance….
Innocents will continue being slaughtered!
Image source: ‘Let gun safety be your target!’: protest signs from the US school walkouts’ by Dale Berning Sawa & Mee-Lai Stone in guardian.com on Mar.15, 2018.
Every life is valuable
Every thought that weighs abortions with gun homicides is narrow at best. The decision whether or not to go ahead with abortion is deeply personal and sometimes a difficult choice to make. Carnage on the other hand is barbaric, inhumane and shameless violation of ‘right to live’. Any argument that it’s the people that kill people and not the guns is a pathetic replay of one of the worst dissenting woes; that restriction on lawful possession of a firearm will endanger lives of those who don’t possess one. Excuses like this are frustrating only and wouldn’t do anything to deter the absurdly easy availability of a weapon.
Meanwhile, empaths are rattled by another tormenting downslide in abortion rights. Unable to stall the insane gun culture, the pro-gun activists-especially in America, want guns to proliferate and wouldn’t wish for anything else to change till feticide laws are considered and done with!... ridiculously evil, inappropriate and more like side stepping the issue.
This insanity however has few takers. Fair enough! If the law makers are truly concerned about saving lives, why a gun shopper couldn’t be held to same standards as meant for those contemplating abortion? If everything about MTP is put right, would that mean declining trends in gun violence? Is that the only answer to deterring another kill like 16 Dec 2014 Peshawar attack that left 132 kids dead or 58 Las Vegas concert-goers from dying at the hands of a gunman? Why nobody demands to protect the lives we all seek to save?
And as we wait;
#More than 500 people continue to die every day. This adds up to 1.4 million firearm related deaths globally every year!
#About 2000 people get wounded by gunshots everyday and about 2 million are living with fire arm injuries around the globe.
#8 million small arms and 15 billion rounds of ammo find shelves with arms dealers each year.
#An estimated 40-50 million abortions happen around the world every year; roughly 125000 each day.
#Around 73 million induced abortions take place worldwide each year.
Yet everybody just loves to hang around… the political werewolves quietly mull over electoral incentives that would affect policy choices on issues of national interest. And people continue to get killed for nothing every day.
It’s a strange messy world out there and the happiest people aren’t the ones who have faced fewer difficulties in life, but those who have learned to enjoy the moment they live in.
Image source: Ira in pexels.com.
Life sucks whenever it gets stuck with adversity. Spiteful, smarting… just everything about it makes you feel hapless and jinxed.
When you‘re anxious about something or your mind is busy browsing past events, it’s easy to relive your fears, worries and every negative thought you had, over and over in your mind. Next, it’s not long before they start shaping your reality.
That’s awful! But you could still stop your brain from looking back; from horror stories to toxic relationships to those grumpy days, it rehashes every bad sore that still make you resentful, angry and disappointed even though it may have happened long time back!
Bad experiences and worries never let go easy.
There are plenty of DIY columns and scores of self-help books claiming to have found the key to an everlasting happiness. I’ve been through a few of them and yet couldn’t convince myself. Even Mo Gadwat’s Solve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy and Adjust the Code That Runs Your Brain seem like just two more to add to the stack. Not much of a relief here. Stories of burn outs and the great resignation paranoia still continue to rage prime time screen. Not far behind are a cheeky few that sizzle as screamers in unprincipled journals. The din as usual is raucous and always in vain.
Happiness, I think lies somewhere in between the events of life and our expectations of how it should respond. This is fairly obvious. If we expect much more from life than the reality, heartaches and regrets happen and nothing thereafter would let us be happy.
Look…unlike our everyday coffee spills and parking tickets, we constantly see the rose tinted version of everybody’s ‘best life’. We prefer to ignore the half eaten bitter part of it. And it’s when our brain begins to bump off. More receptive to negative emotions, it begins to discard anything and everything ‘good’.
Does this mean we should pare down our expectations? Isn’t this opposite of what we normally get to hear for self-empowerment?
Much like AI, sometimes our brain also gets afflicted with spams and bugs and trojans. And when that happens, everything sucks! From dismay to chagrin, every life changing decision leads to a narrow downward spiral. Nothing seems to reflect reality. Every dreadful thought would only worsen your fears over what future may bring.
Fortunately, this is not without a caveat. We aren’t meant to doom despite our brain’s natural disposition to upsetting events. The wretched part though is that in the middle of this you couldn’t hit the snooze.
So, is there a way to combat this bias? What if we could somehow reprogram our brain to scan only for good things in life, parse the possibilities before moving ahead and at the end of it- eventually be happier?
If lately your brain’s been busy accumulating suspicions and worries, flagging them a big red “This Is Important!!” it’s time for a cool 30 sec. ‘beard stroking’.
Maybe you too could patch up your brain and go breezy!
Image source:’ 6 Simple Ways to Train Your Brain for Happiness’ by Minda Zetlin in http://www.inc.com
Slow things down
When you’re feeling frazzled, stressed or distracted, taking a conscious approach to your thinking helps. Tip!… spend a moment to calm your mind, take few deep breaths to fill your lungs with fresh air and let go of every thought that troubles you. Let life happen of its own. Don’t drag yourself into it.
Give yourself 10 secs and you’ll be ready for a positive reboot in no time!
Good things matter
One simple way to retailor your brain to respond to positive patterns only, is to look towards worthwhile things happening around you. Rake up a list of most appealing ones and muse ‘what caused them to happen’? You would carry the day every time you discover something positive. And every small win each day will reward you with a choice to empower and motivate yourself.
Small favors create circle of joy
When we are nice to others or somehow make others feel good, we get goosebump moments of happiness. Every small act that makes people smile, brings joy to us too. All it needs is a moment of favor; buy someone a cup of coffee, help a stranger, walk an old person across the street or even feed a stray animal; every act of generosity will get you a little rush at happiness. Your usual pattern of worrying and fretting will be lost in flashes of mirth and joy.
Your present shapes your tomorrow
No tomorrow, no next week …It’s right this moment! It’s not hard to exercise. It’s only about practicing mindfulness. Not a big deal if you’d recognize your emotions. Put in a dry run, if you’re not convinced enough. Switch your thoughts to positive ones for a change and let everything around you happen without judging them. Once this gets under your skin, good things begin to happen.
Image source: ‘How to rewire your brain for peak performance and happiness’ by Amy Crawford in theholisticingredient.com
Now that you have tamed your subconscious you won’t let it drive your decisions. You have taught your brain to sense, when it’s slipping and when it should defrag for a more balanced and positive outlook.
The skeptic in me though, never fails to line up sweet accusations as alibi to screen my often offensive behavior. “If it worked even for one of them why wouldn’t it for me? Why not give it a try?”
Not that, it’s impossible to get success when you have resigned yourself to wickedness in you. But tagging mistrust and uncertainty to your life is always a bad idea. Simply put, it influences your life and would worsen your decision making.
IMHO!… get into the habit of continually checking with yourself and consciously steer your thoughts clear of negativity; it’s not long before it will become your second skin.
And it’s important to remember that it can happen. Better still, you can do it.
Maybe…someday you’ll live a moment when it won’t feel like every day is a Monday!
‘Everything has attraction but not everyone sees it’.
Image source: ‘What makes someone naturally beautiful?’ in naturaluniversalsecrets.com
I wonder how good is that when people’s preference for faces changes remarkably every time they run into one?
For most part we could do little to change how we look but isn’t smelling good, being funny or not talking about your ex strongly influences your uniqueness?
I’m no Dale Carnegie or a big thumping philanthrop like Oprah. But I’ve learned a thing or two about how to draw the world around me; how to work with it than around it.
Having wrinkles or two is not a sign of horror; it’s a sign of experience, of weariness and above all your love for life. It means you’re trying to be the best person you can be; you’re trying to keep the twinkle in your eyes because you want to be happy. And you smile brightly because you know that makes you overwhelmingly attractive!!
Still, if you think that attraction is just a word and couldn’t define who you are; here’re some ways to make people love the freckleson your face.
Smile to win over!
Smile is one big way stir up things. It’s one damn good way to make others find you appealing and attractive. It hints at friendliness and receptivity. Smiling and laughing is cool; it not only makes you more attractive but it makes you feel more attractive. And doing so you, lets you experience joy and happiness even when things don’t seem to be going well.
A smile speaks of its own and works like some rustic aphrodisiac that could pull even the ever-serious counterparts towards you. Sad wry faces feel dismissive and cruel.
Imagine if you could pair a face with something positive and beautiful; that face would then begin to look more attractive. A beaming mug is way different from sad sullen ones that crowd around you every day and is the obvious choice to be judged as more attractive!
Look…
Who you find attractive is less about where you grew up or where you ran around in life. Your choice is more influenced by experiencing the pull that is so unique when you look at a simple, coy and pleasantly bright face.
Image source: ‘freepick.com’.
Air of excitement around you!
Let it happen! Sometimes it helps build ridiculous amount of attraction!!
People generally love being accepted and feel comfortable when that happens but not unless you make their interests important to you just as much you want them to as well. If you want others to like you, let your gestures build up some comfort.
Your friends may know who you are but others judge you only by your looks and how you connect with them. More than anything your body stance, attitude and the eagerness to open up when you bump into some stranger; that’s what make people find you attractive.
I am flattered when somebody I happen to meet first time, gets curious about my life or my hobbies. I’m sure, that someone also expects to be enquired. And that’s Ok…I think that if you could find the right stuff to make a heart flutter, the allure will rake up a warm companionship all by itself.
Truth is that every one of us on this planet believes that we know something that the other doesn’t. And we would rather die trying to learn something new. If you believe that everything happens for a reason; create your own style and share the excitement of togetherness. No matter what, how you feel is more important than how you look! Heads will turn, once you begin to get comfortable in your skin.
It’s not long before people will recognize you as an attractive and fantastic person.
Monday blues are bad!
Negative side of everything is unpleasant. People with a peppy attitude, on the other hand bring encouraging changes in everybody’s lives, help avoid worries, see the brighter side of everything and expect the best to happen. Just living their lives and doing things they love most is what makes them attractive.
Could you think of the times when someone has been unexpectedly friendly and nice to you? Is it the person who smiled at you while you went strolling in the park? Maybe it’s only a cheerful ‘good morning’; nothing was said at first. Maybe it’s the person who picked up a conversation with you first time and bowled you over with an unexpected compliment. Believe me, these are the kind of thoughts that never leave us. Whenever roused, they make our day feel a little better.
These small positive actions get people innately attracted to and want that someone to be around when everything goes gross.
Geez…do we need to be happy all the times? Surely that’s not possible. We all have our moments of sadness, loss, anger and hardships. And yet we know how to combat loneliness and stay snug in life.
So, just stay cool, keep telling yourself that you can do whatever it takes to be happy and let the life happen. You’ll wake up each morning knowing that you deserve the awesome life you’re living.
Trust me…
People get attracted to you, feel connected to and remember you as a fair deal only when you don’t act silly goose, are unassuming and not always cooked up to look unmistakably attractive.
Image source: pexels.com.
Learning is wonderful
Going back to University, sweating out over some online course or catching up a seminar? If you are looking to fit into at least one of them, then learning is your one way ticket to stay relevant everywhere you go. It helps you understand how the world works. It helps you to realize your passion, boost creativity and live a better life. The benefits are simply enormous.
Sometimes we find ourselves troubled in an intense impassioned life circles where perceptions keep changing. And so do our imperfections. The painful truth is that knowing backwards sometimes feels far less important and we usually junk the very idea of learning something new!
This is where the pit gets deeper… Feeling gutted makes it worse.
For people whom we find attractive, learning is something that’s endless. They take the time to be savvy and admit when they don’t have an answer, but work around to find one. Wary and unsure, not many of us have the heart to rise and take the same first step.
For times when you couldn’t see the whole staircase and burn yourself too much over ‘I think I can or think I can’t’; it’s best to take a step back and sell yourself this story…
“Attraction is a funny thing. It never resists change. And it never lets you go dark either.”
Learning and knowing better would nudge more and more people towards you.
You’re never too good!
It’s a mean old world where life follows one single rule. If you want to succeed and be a happy attraction to others, don’t take yourself too seriously. Stop believing that everything revolves around you. In fact, there’s a good chance that when you’re gone, you’ll be completely forgotten in no time. There’s always somebody to take your place.
I find perfectionism as the enemy of change. It never lets us rest or to have fun and be happy wanting to do everything our way. We fear that one single mistake would ruin everything we’ve build for so long. It’s a delusion that wouldn’t let us be a messy imperfect and perhaps a happy person!
Image source: ‘freepik.com‘.
Sometimes I also get comfortable being uncomfortable. I love my perfectly imperfect moments. But that’s my burden and I’ve learned to take it seriously, not myself. I think being attractive is just a matter of being confident in your skin and loving the way you look like.
So, stop being a perfect student, perfect employee, perfect son, perfect sister, perfect…??.
Do your stuff with an abandon and people with a sense of light heartedness will find you attractive for sure!!
Pursuing an old dream or chasing a new passion and yet disappointed in you for feeling left out? If you believe in tweaks that could change your life, go after every second chance that comes your way. Someday it will reward you with a pearl beyond price !!
And a reason to smile!
Image source: pexels.com.
Life yields a second chance to every one of us. It’s called tomorrow. And it doesn’t happen by chance. We begin to live our second life the moment we realize that we’ve got only one and fancy a new morning with a fresh chance to make of it whatever we want!
I think that’s great!! Life is just too short to leave things at odds.
The only creepy thing about it though is that these breaks rarely happen by chance and for the most part are scary. What if everything ends with the same outcome? How’d I know that I ain’t cloning the same mistakes and nothing is actually going to change?
That’s funny! While we anxiously hope and look forward for some kind of rescue, fear of unlikely payoffs is hurting!
Angst aside, I believe everyone deserves a new start even when we cannot control how it is going to end. Making bad choices is normal but regretting them is what makes us free to choose again.
Like Qusay Hussein, a wounded Iraqi teen who met a new life in the US, when I think of my childhood, I think of colors; the dull brick red walls and the deep rich greens of the lush front gardens on either side of our beautiful home. More like him, I gave myself a second chance to learn and grow along others after an early exit of my dad left behind shattered dreams and hard times. I didn’t do anything real until I was 25. Not only after a few impromptu accomplishments in post grad and doctor’s, that I could gather enough courage to test the unknown! And all the time I was sharply aware that it was really a shot at becoming who I wanted. It all had stretched out like one long dazzling promise to break out and shine! Sure I wasn’t hungry for a huge career but something that I’d enjoy.
I held on to all the chances that came my way…
I’m not sure when the wakeup call tipped off but it did saw me a lot wiser … I’d come to realize that it’s never too late to do what you love most!
Just a few years ago, I thought everything was over, and now …I’ve discovered my happy self!
Image source: pexels.com.
Everybody has a story to tell
I don’t think that happiness is big or infinite or that you’d meet it only when you get your second break. People make mistakes all the time. No one’s perfect but you cannot rewind the movie of your life to the point you thought was Ok and play it again. I gave myself chances upon chances until I realized that I can only change the movie from this point forward.
Giving yourself a second chance doesn’t make you stupid; it means that you believe that you can change for the better. It’s an opportunity for you to learn and grow and be a finer person.
Look… I’m not the first or the only person who’s made bad choices in life. And neither are you. So why stay pissed off over something that can be won back!
People often make bad ones only to regret later. Everybody does, but that doesn’t mean that they have to pay for them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes even good people make bad choices; it doesn’t make them any more severe! Like everybody else they too get hurt but they learn and they move on.
Life is short lived to hold on to the past. Can you imagine yourself not giving someone a second chance? I can’t. Things never go the way we all want most of the time, but that doesn’t mean you’d hang on to hard feelings and not allow yourself a free happy life! If you don’t forgive someone and give him or her another shot, you too will be drawn into a dirty ‘negative edge pool’. Worse, you’ll drain yourself emotionally completely.
Not only that if it weren’t for the second chances, we all would have lost good friends, warm relations and perhaps missed a snug hug back home. Trust me, it’s human to make choices we think were right but so often turn up wrong and end hurting others.
We’re not perfect and we would never be. So forgive, forget and buzz off.
Giving somebody another try is your one more chance to thrive and be happy.
May be on that day, you could finally let go and move on.
Feature credits: ‘Piper- A story of true happiness.’ by Movie Mania 3000 on Mar.15, 2019.
For Colin Thackery, the Chelsea pensioner who won BGT at the age of 89 or for Jan Jacob, who at the age 50 realized she was a gay- it wasn’t the first time that future had looked uncertain or the life felt painfully strung to a distant North Pole. But both were certain about one thing, giving themselves as many chances as came their way; second, third, fourth; they seized each one never knowing when they’ll get one again. They knew that someday they would find a way through to smile again.
Today their phones are all filled up with texts and calls and I’m sure they have umpteen exciting stories to tell.
Whatever…I’m glad their lives could help show others how to live their best lives too.
Curiously, their tales remind me of a somewhat sweet and noble virtue…
“It’s never too late to become everything you want to become. It’s never too late to try again”.
Eighteen years ago, Morgan Spurlock in his 2004 award winning documentary “Super Size Me” set out to put things straight about what regular fast food consumption at massive levels could do to a human body. Clearly Spurlock’s glut had “supersized” his meals nine times along the way. As calorie and fat counts failed to add up, disappointing results pushed McDonald’s to remove its “super size” menu options.
Image source: ‘FAO: meat burger, better protein quality’ in carnisostenibili.it on May,12, 2022.
What followed next was even more bizarre!
McDonald’s signature hamburger ‘Big Mac’ blew off the knockers in the years to come and became one definitive Dollar Menu item that defied all Burgernomics. Five hundred and fifty million plus each year, it’s clearly impossible for any sandwich with that much involved to be sold for $3!
How and why is all history now. The frenzy is here to stay. People throng to outlets, ignore the fitness goals if only for a while and throw to winds anything and everything else ‘decadent’.
But what would you say of eating junk food regularly? What if you ate say, Big Mac everyday for next 20 years? How good would that do to you? Two 1.6 ounce all beef patties, secret sauce, shredded iceberg lettuce, cheese, re-hydrated dehydrated onions, two pickle chips, sesame seed buns; even if you’ve never eaten one, it’s hard to miss. McDonald’s Big Mac sandwich; the iconic hamburger that famed as $1 Poor Man’s Big Mac back in 1967 gradually turned significantly taller.
Today, served in a ‘clamshell’ box, this ‘two all beef patty’ burger has overwhelmed the hoi polloi everywhere.
Filling, inexpensive and quick, if you find yourself left with only a couple of bucks in your pocket, would you have anywhere else to go but the McDonald’s? I guess you’d stick to this 540 calorie 29 gram fat 29 grams protein, bundled bite of pure joy!
As a child, I loved the Phantom Sweet Cigarettes and Orange candies that somehow made me feel tall and rebellious! Golden Arches in 60’s! it meant little or nothing to me. It’s only in the year 1996 that I got introduced to a piquant racy Mcveggie Happy Meals. I loved the cardboard box, the hamburger, the fries and of course the delightful apple slices inside. My tune changed thereafter. I grew an appetite for the food that a kid’s stuff could no longer whet. I graduated to bigger Big Mac fast; I could find little or no time for cooked meals. On Sundays, I and my mates would gorge on Big Mac, often two or three at a time!
Image source: ’50 years on, McDonald’s isn’t messing with its Big Mac’ in economictimes.indiatimes.com on Jul.30, 2018.
Fast forward twenty-six years.
It’s May 17th 2022; something peculiar in the daily tabloid has caught my eye.
It’s about a man who’s been eating at least one Big Mac per day, since 1972. Dan Gorske has made it big! He has broken his own world record of eating at least one Big Mac daily for over the last half century consuming more than thirty two thousand of them.
And he gushes on;
“I’ll probably be eating Big Macs everyday for the rest of my life.”
Truly, everything else has paled to his favorite hamburger. He might continue the run so long as he sees no reason to jump to other options; he has found one that gives him so much delight.
And I’m so curious for many things about him, particularly about the man’s health!
I googled him on online and easily found a picture of a man who appears to be relatively healthy. For all that crass indulgence, he appears to be blessed with some extraordinary guts and seems not weighed down with obesity or broken build.
For the kind of poster boy he’s become, does “I am lovin’ it“ come any close to describing his burger obsession? Most of us love fast foods as indulgence, but is the poor man’s Big Mac worth it in the end?
Certainly there’s more to it than just a $3 much evolved sandwich! Although tasty and inexpensive, is the Big Mac really a healthy option?
The savory trail of Big Mac doesn’t end here!
Image source: pexels.com
A a day to keep your worries at bay?
Dorothy Nedd turned 106 this January 2022 and she shared the secret of her incredibly long life; she went to Church every Sunday and ate a Big Mac on the way home.
All that for her love for Jesus and Big Macs!
Born in 1914, she’s lived through both the World Wars, the moon landing and now counts herself to be one of the oldest persons alive today.
Hard to reason, but is this the fluoride that has done the trick for her?
Is the Big Mac so crippling and nasty as the nutritionists sound?
Gorske has eaten more than 33000 of them since 1972 and if you’re wondering how he could put up with all this eat-up, it’s some relief to know that his eating and exercising habits are pretty rock hard. 10 mile or more walks, plenty of veggies and generally no fries; Gorske also does something that he loves- the never dying practice of moderation.
But what would you say of Dorothy’s trick. 106 and still living her best life!
Morgan Spurlock’s infamous 2004 documentary with all those extra 24 pounds, skyrocketing cholesterol and sustained liver damage hullabaloo, might scare you to a spin, but even this one laments.
It reminds me only as a cautionary tale; results aren’t the same for everyone.
The dirty secret that that Spurlock didn’t reveal and escaped everybody is that what was staged at McDonald’s over a month, back in 2004 could have just as easily been replicated with many supposedly healthier alternatives then ! Pret a Manger (an international sandwich shop franchise chain from UK), Chop’t (an all American creative Salad fast food chain) and Au Bon Pain (a fast casual restaurant, bakery, and café chain from Texas)– all raunchy and wholesome, could have added inches to your belly just as well for being far more generous with calories than the Big Mac!
Then everybody was so conveniently forgetting the other wellness offenders; sugar and sodium; two good enough reasons for the beginning and end of everything.
Image source: pexels.com.
So, what’s there to eat if not this?
Health foods, natural foods and even vegan foods do not always mean they are the best healthilicious option for you. Where ever you are, there is always a better choice and always a worst choice. And you know what?…there’s a whole lot of terrifying foods out there that could tip the scales in wrong direction for you. Nobody not even Ronald McDonald himself could have recommended something to keep you in good shape; what with the Big Mac being the original offender here!
Feature credits: ‘ MacDonald’s ‘ in facebook.com.
Moderation might be the key to everything fine and happy and smiling. Even Gorske claims it has kept him in good shape since. But if you fancy a certain food, it’s not long before you would turn forgiving for anything ‘self restraining’!
Don’t take my word for it. If you have a weak stomach for anything limiting then it’s just an everyday life kind of thing for you. Even Dorothy Nedd’s trick to a long life with one savory burger each day might fail you of your big story.
Gorske’s streak meanwhile stays strong and if that guy is any inspiration then ‘You won’t be dead before you reach 50 years of eating Big Mac like him!’
Christ! If that is any truth– no “Face Time” as you grow old and a little more of “sweet living” for you!
It’s 8 in the morning and you’re all flustered and rushed to make it to your workplace on time. Loads of little things are hurting your head and you don’t have time to live a few clever moments of sweet happiness!
Life sucks and nothing seems like a cakewalk. Your WFH siesta has ended leaving you all keyed up with crazy jaded ideas about how you are going to begin offline. You don’t feel any heart left for your desk after a long break and don’t know how and if you can you keep pace with life now. The vacuum is all eating you up. You wish you could go back in time; not to change anything but to feel couple of things twice and possibly change hands with something more exciting.
The phantom in you whines and pines for more.
Let’s face it; Life isn’t easy and glee and all that, but you know what? If you endure your daily grind and drain yourself out without knowing why, it’s possible that your personality and your place of work might run into odds with each other. You are aware that ripping the band-aid off could get you the sun shine you were looking for so long than enduring an unfitting, ill suited work space; but a switch over is always a difficult choice.
You’re not sure if that would be the right thing to do…!
If you’re facing the headwinds- right from Covid to quality and performance concerns and feel low and trapped – the list of crises hitting businesses keeps getting longer–bad breaks aren’t going to leave you any time sooner.
Here are three way to know if your hard time is simply some short living raw deal or your work place is particularly draining for your personality.
It feels like entering a pit hole!
Your Office pyramid works infamously with a twisted bottom line mentality. It’s 3Ps-Productivity, performance and profits and that’s that. No room for anything else! Your wellness and personal relations have no takers here. The demon of highbrowism is raging in every corner. It’s problematic and unhealthy–especially if you’re obsessively passionate about your work and often land yourself right in the middle of the rut!
If you are someone who is passionately preoccupied with the job and unwittingly ignores his personal wellness, then a damaging crisis awaits you with no near term exit in sight; one that can pile tremendous pressure on your happiness.
So, should this mean you’re stranded at cross roads?
Gosh-darn!…it’s intense. From sob story to small choices…you’d always figure out something and find the balance.
If you are hooked to a “spongy” mentality and dire the struggle, there is nothing much for you to do than to try and keep your obsessive passion for work at bay. Pursue the whole nine yards with a sense of balance and flexibility and you may survive the crisis.
Indeed, there is no saying where it all ends but any emotional distance between you and your work might just work.
The waters here are choppy and bruising!
The relief here always comes too little, too late! The workstead that lacks autonomy but typically has dogsbody driven high turnover, is unhealthy for most passionate people.
So, if you get butterflies in your gut, get tizzy and flustered easily and jim jams make you jumpy whenever work stress spikes; you’re in for some troubled times. Even the micromanagement would fail you completely and the unstoppable domino effect would skewer your anxiety to unhealthy levels. Again, in a job that is highly stressful and tags little or no job security; increase in bitterness, anger and sulkiness is inevitable.
When things get so screwed up and it gets harder to get out of the mess, is there anything helpful besides a non-micro managing boss to move your happiness needle, leewards?
Nothing much…if you cannot rid yourself of work slave mentality or empower yourself enough to bring changes in your work environment; then it’s time to move on. Should you get to stay; you’d continue to burn slow and so would your happiness.
However,…
If you begin your day at your workstation with a sense of belonging, have a clear sense of purpose and at the end of the day feel like you’ve achieved what you had set out for in the morning; then probably you are working in an inclusive and respectful workplace. Experiencing appreciation, freedom, leaning while earning well and feeling supported by a helpful boss! Christ!… that’s a paradise no nine-to-fiver ever stops dreaming of! No need to move quickly to act. This place is no goof up!!
WFH exclusivity continues!
Image source: ‘Should I be working from home now?’ in bbc.com,
Virus has waned but work from home is a dreamy reality that is yet to end. For many this is a desire come true; for others though it works better in theory than practice. Bad habits, gross indiscipline and over sedentary days spew out of remote connectivity. Boozing, watching Netflix or surfing e-commerce sites during work hours have driven people low on conscientiousness. Discipline has taken some punishing and frowned upon behaviors have upped the ante.
You don’t find anything wrong in that…do you? After all it’s rest, respite and work at will…no boundaries, no godforsaken tantrums, no frayed tempers! It feels like you’ve got everything under the sun!
But if you find yourself struggling with the pivot to work-from-home especially when you are completely disconnected from work at the end of the day, then in all probability you’d feel all screwed up. What if your workstead has chosen a hybrid employment model where you spend part of your time working from home and part in Office. Better work-life balance, less commute stress, location independence improved inclusivity, minimized distraction; there are 20 different reasons that your boss could rattle off to advocate the benefits of remote working. You try fitting in like always but wouldn’t find the foothold.
Are you the one to give up on team building events and could endure endless unmotivated sessions? Unmonitored performance, increased likelihood of overworking, distractions at home, lesser perks, increased isolation; everything makes it tough to turn off. The laptop at your kitchen table beckons and you may not feel enough separation between your work and life. This all would contribute to feeling of being overwhelmed or even burnout. And, above all….
People don’t believe you’re actually working!!
Image source: ‘Working from home: The good, the bad, and the ugly’ in humanresourceonline.net on Jun.22, 2020.
Let’s be real, no matter where you’re working from, you’re still doing just that; Working. Honestly it all comes down to the environment you’re most effective in. But if your workstead promotes WFH it is not for the sake of some classic benefits of telecommuting. It’s more about a great opportunity to dig deep in to the market. Remote work is the new cool for it saves your boss from 6 different costs, gets the work done round the clock, enhances branding, parks pre-trained employees for no extra strings and a lot more. Biggest surprise!!… He could be saving up to 50% on operational costs, 15-25% on assets and up to 31% reduction in health insurance spends. Another big-wig here… smart savings is done on energy-printers, laptops, cooling systems, lighting etc. as well. So don’t fool yourself with narratives surrounding remote work.
Besides your work place at home would never sport a garden view!!
Being stranded with an ill suited job always has some serious fallout. Your personality becomes a twisted image of you. It’s no place for you to return if it incites a bottom line mentality in you. Say no to pressure cooker environment. Even if you are somewhat less conscientious and not so passionately obsessive about work; WFH settings would still harm you.
Feeling at sea and don’t know how to let go your jammed session with this new project? and what with the Netflix hollering all the time; “You still have 3 episodes of ‘Ice piercer’ to watch”!
My word!
Return to a place that spares you a high degree of independence, choice, self direction and belonging. Stop being chased.
Feature credits:’Welcome back to the Office” by The Executive Centre in youtube.com on Oct.19, 2020.
On a brighter note!…
In bargain you’ll find yourself some small doses of happiness that you didn’t know you needed until now.
Image source: ‘Bacteria: The miracle microbes that could fix planet’ by Collin Barras in sciencefocus.com on Sep.02,2020,
This is freakin’ crazy!…Am I more microbe than human and never alone? Is it really freak’n true? Sounds nuts!…. but I think I did read somewhat on these lines in my graduation; like human cells make up only 43 percent of body’s total cell count and the rest are microscopic colonists; our cells are outnumbered by 10 to one…blah-blah-blah whatever. It’s creepy, but understanding the other half of our selves might be the key to even stranger mysteries!
“Why, our body isn’t just us and never alone? Why genetically we are more outgunned than believed? What it means to be “human” if we are only half of what we really are?
From simple allergies to spooky Parkinson’s, every nook and cranny of our lives is hostage to these teeny-weeny nano-sized creatures. And we just couldn’t get rid of them, no matter how well we wash ourselves. Every crevice, every fissure and every chink on our bodies is swarming with these intrepid life forms.
We live by and stay surrounded by these tiny suckers even when we cannot see them with naked eyes. And….they are everywhere; on our keyboard, on our pillows on our favorite chair,stuff and above all, inside us!
The smallest living organisms ever known, some live on us and some within us. And know what, it’s considered Ok! So long as these critters are inclined and obliging, we could stay healthy, but once tables turn and a microbiome shift happens, our bodies become a battleground of sorts.
Do you have any idea why these bugs live in our body? Are there any hostile micro biomes too? What are those 20 odd million microbial genes doing in our body? In fact who lives most on our bodies?
A ghost safari to the battleground!
Our body is an enormous ecosystem hosting different biomes swarming with microbes and helps them flourish. Many of these invisible warriors are good for our health. Not only that; this army from microbial mecca abets droves of viruses, fungi and archaea (a kind of single cell organism) living within us as well. Together, they uphold the key to a longer flourishing life for us!
So if you thought you were some kind of epitome of sterility, think again. Your gut is home to some of the smuttiest of pathogens and your skin, mouth, lungs and even genitals shelter their diverse communities. The biggest of these rhyme zones lies deep in murky depths of your colon where trillions inhabit in union with their surroundings. Here they break down dietary fiber, produce crucial nutrients like butyrate and keep your gut up, clean and healthy 24/7.
Always in a curiously creepy relationship, these teeming pathogens have peacefully evolved over the time and have been our most lovable companion ever since, executing all important role in rallying digestion and shoring up our immune system.
Feature credits: ‘ Nearly half of you is not human, it’s made of microbes’ by Hashim Al-Ghaili in youtube.com on Jul.04, 2020.
Living with an attitude!
There are lots of places on our body for them to live. It’s like a jungle to them. Right from skin and tooth, nostrils and tongue, tonsils and lungs and belly button to dark corners of your gut and genitalia; it’s a home to every one of them!
Many species live in harmony live with us and within us and promote health. For instance our gastrointestinal health is right in their hands. Any dysbiosis or slightest shift in the gut microbiome and all hell breaks loose.
And guess what? …this is true for other areas of your body as well.
This is where it gets confusing…
An over indulgence into burgers and chocolates in all likelihood affects your risk of obesity and the type of microbes that grow in your gut. So how would you know if it is a bad mix of bugs breaking down and soaking up your food and wouldn’t add inches to your belly?
Seriously; nobody has the right answers to this. “Bugs for Drugs” might take some time to happen. Till then if you’re really interested in finding out what haunts your belly and bowels, a microbiome test (Ohmygut®) test might get an overview of who you’re living with. If you could follow personalized food recommendations, this might of some help in enhancing your microbial well being!
But then there are lots of places in you for bugs to live and thrive in….
Image source: ‘Bacteria on green background. Prokaryotic microorganisms. Bacillus. Illustration’ in unsplash.com.
And I thought I was pristine and clean!
The bugs on my skin
Good ol’ skin or the integument is home to some meaningful bugs that protect us from invaders and marauders amongst them and support our immune system. Some produce molecules to drive off potentially harmful microbes from colonizing the skin making it a physical barrier. A few others like Staphylococcus epidermisproduce anti microbial compounds to stave off something serious like skin cancer. Acne linked bacteria however don’t help much.
My eyes don’t shine alone
Like skin, eyes do not fare any better when it comes trading benefits. An ideal habitat, microbes find comfort in my cornea and the tissue on the inside of the eyelid. Relatively small, any imbalance in this microbiome results in dry eye disease and endophthalmitis or bacterial conjunctivitis.
I could smell them!
Dark warm and damp,my nose is just the perfect place for microbes and is very sensitive to faltering microbial homestead. Shaped by different factors just like gut bugs, nose microbiome is re-engineered by changing environment of the host and is affected by medical conditions. Dysbiosis here could be the reason why asthma, chronic rhinosinusitis, influenza, and bronchiolitis happen headlong and yet are curable with certitude.
Keepers to my tonsils
Tonsils, when invaded by stray bugs-fight infection by trapping assaulting microbes that enter through mouth or nasal passage and producing antibodies to kill them. A diverse ecosystem of microbes at their disposal helps them do this job. Adenotonsilla microbiome may have different contagions for children and adults; but why it couldn’t ward off bacterial tonsillitis, is yet to be discovered.
Wax, bugs and infections- my ear is home to each one of them
The middle ear is a safe haven to a diverse community of thriving microbes which when out of buggy could wreak havoc in ear; infections, inflammations and other hard pushed complaints. Both genetics and microbiome could add considerably to the risk of middle ear infections and consequential painful days.
But what happens inside me is more bewildering!…
Lots happening here!
Right from my school days, I’ve been stuck up with some good dental hygiene regimen. I brush twice a day…no smells, not hooked to any addictions and I check scrupulously if it smells bad in my mouth before going to bed! Yet at times my belly too groans, sharp pain pangs from toothache would send me into an overdrive and sometimes I get laid with fever from tonsillitis! I’m not spared…And I thought I knew everything about sterility.
But certainly not this!
My mouth is a den to plenty of microbes, some good, some not so good and could explain things like inflammation and tooth decay.
The oral cavity or the muzzle- as geeks call it, is a perfect territory for microbes to thrive; all warm, moist with an endless source of nutrients pouring in, plus plenty of structures and hiding places to stick to; the tongue, pockets between the gums and teeth and of course the teeth themselves. Let them have fun and Streptococcus mutanswould run amok and devastate your ivory while Porphyromonasgingivalis could have your gums bleeding and crying foul!
Sometimes these bugs travel down elsewhere in the body like gut and lungs and when that happens dysbiosis strikes hard.
When it comes to bugs, my breath is no different
Once thought of as a sterile environment, lungs are now known to have their own small microbiome; much smaller than the one that the gut holds because the lungs do not have the same kind of hem or sheathing to adhere to. Rather they ease oxygenation through a surfactant that is designed to facilitate the transfer.
Red flags! It’s time to see an urologist
Like the lungs, bladder too is not as sterile and bacteria-free as I believed it to be. While little is known about the mysteries surrounding microbiome here in urine pouch, there is still no evidence if bugs here could rig out a protective barrier for my health. Visible haematuria, spinal cord compression or progressive neurologic dysfunction, well… these are of particular concern since I wouldn’t know what I’m fighting with; rampaging bugs or some cross purpose therapeutic condition!
Image source: ‘Your body is mostly microbes’ by Tina Hesman Saey in sciencenews.org on Dec.20,2013.
So, next time you get anxious about your well being and have an urge to inspect yourself, start with your belly button; the soft spot. Though there a number of places you could begin with,the center of your stomach could reveal much offhand.
Remember…! “The Incas believed that Cuzco was the navel of the universe”.
For instance, if it smells a bit ripe, it’s the umbilical microbiome –passed on to you with your first breath, that has found itself a cozy homestead and is likely to stay with you till you live. Weirdly, it could be any or many of the 2368 different species that inhabit your navel, reacting and interacting with your body and not always in battle with it.
It’s incredible to think that the DNA of these superbugs carries more information than it would take literally a ton of DVDs to store for medical accomplishments.
See… didn’t I say, you are never alone in an eerie world of microbes!!...
Are you a fitness freak working for a rawbone or losing sleep over a lean sylphlike waist and seeing no results? What about those crash diets; still no gains?
You’ll probably hit the most success when you junk sin foods from your routine and start your day with healthy foods that do not cut out anything important. What kind of benefits you’re looking at here? Well…these slimming super foods are good at melting away that last inch of belly bloat like whoa…
Image source: Roman Odintsov in pexels.com.
Some days, you’re a kale smoothie-guzzling, bok choy-chopping freak, while on others you’re drooling over a candy bowl. But adding these incredible foods to your diet, don’t help much in getting toned and tight!
Interestingly…the way our body works is bit confusing. Hunger is what decides for it to holler for energy, but by the time it tells you that, it’s already deficient and gone wild. That emptiness and growing pangs are in fact it’s last ditch attempt to convince you to eat.
Many of us consume the bulk of our food in two or three large meals a day and go long hours with nothing in between. This reduced–calorie- three- meal plan sounds good but you can’t make your body burn fat any more efficiently than it does of its own! Every core exercise you try isn’t always a do-gooder. Your abs may refuse to grow and your potbelly may just decide not to give up!
So, does this mean that you should stay ahead of the curve and eat even before your belly starts growling? What kinda food would work best? And what if you running short on time? Is a four-ounce chicken breast, a small baked potato and a jumpy salad good enough to craft you a winsome body?
Hard to tell…Huh!
Sometimes my gut also screams, “feed me nice and good!”; especially on holidays and weekends. Honestly I love vegan food more than anything else but I balance my love for eating plants with need to keep my body equally supplemented, so that something wholesome and nutritious always finds its way into my belly.
If you too are looking for some healthy food without giving up on your winning routine; check out on these eight simple super eats that can thaw away that last bit of your beer belly in 2022!
Here’s the sticky widget though;
While spot-reducing belly fat is not exactly possible, eating fewer calories than you burn might earn you an overall weight loss—and that includes your belly.
But what the heck!… consider this as your go-to list for good health; at least.
Roasted mushroom and bean soup.
Image source: ‘White bean and roasted mushroom soup recipe’ by Amy Johnson in shewearsmanyhats.com.
This white bean and roasted mushroom soup- an ageless classic- has ruled the charts on She Wears Many Hats ever since originally published in October 2011. The magical partying of pureed white beans and broth base instead of cream and roasted onions, garlic and herbs, is a guilt free gratification for those chasing a simple wholesome stuff!
I don’t think anything else could warm you more than this savory, drool-inducing tang of this consommé.
And it’s so very worth it. Served alongside a simple salad with crusty bread, it makes for a perfect day. Looking for a vegetarian version? Simply swap veggies broth with chicken one. Bonus here!…You also get to substitute one part to three of dried herbs as you head into colder months when seasonings are hard to get by.
Black Bean Omelet
Image source: ‘Black Bean Omelets with Salsa Verde’ in goya.com.
Coffee sure does perk you up in the morning. But if you pair it with sugary cereal, bagels, or donuts, you’re very likely to stay starry eyed and listless for the rest of the day. These empty carbs taste good on the tongue, but do little for your body. Instead fill your morning meal with some healthy complex alternative that would leave you feeling energized!
Simply put, it’s all about picking a high protein fiber packed food that would promise good nutrients to your body.
I begin my day with a wholesome breakfast; be it the one that’s on-the-go list for rush days or a more relaxed oversized gut bomb for weekend brunch. Which would you prefer; a pricey spinach omelet, packing nearly 1000 cals or a simple affordable 330 cals high protein, fiber packed omelet sandwiching black beans and cheese?
A black bean omelet is sure to make you feel satisfied and keep you full for hours. The soluble fiber helps lower your cholesterol, keep you regular and set your taste buds a –jingling! Refried black beans set off by chunks of ripe fried tomatoes, savory onions and cilantro, leave one smacking good after-taste that would have you wanting more of it.
Try it! Your palate will thank you.
Grilled Chicken Pineapple Sandwich
Image source: ‘Teriyaki Chicken Sandwich’ by Shelly in frugalfamilyhome.com.
This grilled chicken and pineapple sandwich is your best bet if you are a health freak. Not even the healthy genre of grilled sandwiches that beckon you invitingly each time you pass by the neighborhood rotisserie, are a close match to it.
Packing a mouth watering punch in every bite, this sandwich is a sweet-spicy combination of teriyaki glazed chicken, juicy grilled pineapple, fiery jalapenos and is a great reduction in your days’ saturated fat and sodium intake. An end to all flattering chicken sandwiches, this one with 400 cals and 640 mg of sodium gets you the best of both the worlds; a little sweet here a little spicy there! The sandwich with a whole wheat bun comes to you super balanced with lean proteins and high fiber carbs.
Trust me; take a shot and surely you won’t miss the fried version at all once you sink your teeth into this blast of flavors.
Chicken Tikka Masala
Image source: ‘Authentic chicken tikka masala recipe’ in nishkitchen.com.
Traditionally cooked in clay tandoor and then served in a subtly spiced tomato cream sauce with a dash of dried herbs, coconut milk, ginger and lemon and greek yogurt; this marinated boneless chicken dish is an absolute belter and is a popular fare in curry houses from right across the East End bistros of “Curry Lane” in London to “Cumins” in Chicago,“Indigo”in Budapest to “Le Palaise de Raja Maharaja” at rue d’Ouessant Paris. This all time fan-favorite is a must dig for diners all across South and South East Asia.
The creamy spicy sauce made with Greek yogurt instead of full fat cream, is insanely good and the soft marinated chicken tastes just divine! The meal gets complete with some turmeric rice and fresh naan.
It’s simply… cozy , fabulous and finger lickin’ good!
Grilled Caesar Salad
This perhaps is the most misleading food; it’s kinda dish that you order when you want to go easy with your food, only to find out that you have ended up eating almost half of your day’s calories in one serve!
Feature credits: Kitchenstories.com
A classic eat, this salad boasts of a savory combination of crisp romaine (a variety of lettuce), rich and garlicky dressing, crunchy croutons and an enticing pungent tang of Parmesan cheese. High calorie dressing however,transforms into lighter vinaigrette packing an awesome substance, flavor and nutrition of sun dried tomatoes and olives in it. Char- grilled lettuce brings some happy change and perk up everything.
The salad preps quickly and easily with simple ingredients like boneless and skinless chicken thighs that stay juicy all through and cook quickly.
To think of this as volte-face nutrition! 410 calories, 29 gms fat and 610 mg sodium per serve! What more could you ask for?…
Try it and surely you won’t be digging into anything else anymore!
Rajma Dal
Image source: ‘Rajma masala’ by Kiran Afzal in curiouscuisiniere.com on Dec.12, 2020,
If actionable tips and cook videos from ‘The Spruce Eats-NY’ are any cue then this high and hearty red kidney beans curry with a mesmerizing blend of spicy masala, ginger, garlic, chilies and tomatoes is a rustic vegetarian dish that comes cheap, is nutritious, comforting and one satisfying comfort food that could easily humble any menu item any time. A delightful vegetarian curry dish, it savors great over rice and pickled vegetables.
If you’re looking for some indulgent healthilicious dish that could come together in less than half an hour, this one-pan cook makes for an excellent choice. Served with kachumbar salad and pickle as sides, this 232 calories unsophisticated eat has managed some space in Stock Images and Shutter stock collections too.
Palak Paneer
Another hot favorite among foodies! This mildly flavored super food is super healthy and tastes great when served with a side of basmati rice. The star of the dish is the creamy sauce, which is made out of blanched spinach blended with an amazing medley of spices. Complimenting the sauce are shallow fried cubes of paneer (Indian cottage cheese). The healthy spinach gravy is sautéed with finely balanced curry spices in aromatic ghee to up the ante!
Image source: ‘Palak Paneer’ in awesomecuisine.com.
Simple but irresistible, this dish has the punch to satisfy absolutely all taste buds! If cheese is not on hand or you’re looking for a dairy free option, tofu or veggies like cauliflower or potato will taste just as good. You may even ask for whole yogurt in place of heavy cream for the sauce to make it lighter.
This food may not be totally main stream yet, but there’s one good reason to incorporate this extremely nutrient rich leafy gem into your regular diet. Packed with high levels of carotenoids, Vitamin-C, Vitamin-K, Folic acid, Iron and Calcium, it’s a warehouse to some amazing compounds like lutein ( improves eye health), kaempferol( reduces risk of cancer and chronic diseases) nitrates( promotes heart health), quercetin (wards off infection and inflammations) and zeaxanthin( helpful in impaired vision).
So, next time you get hungry and crave for a scrumptious healthy meal, dig into a warm comforting bowl of spinach paneer curry with equally delicious garlic naan or jeera rice or plain basmati rice. Side of a red onion salad adds zing to a super delicious hearty happy fill.
Italian Stuffed Artichokes
There is really nothing quite like an artichoke. Whether you’re eating the hearts as part of an antipasto platter or in a spinach artichoke dip, their flavor is quite unlike any other food.
Image source: ‘italian stuffed artichokes’ in garlicandzest.com.
Tender, herby with perfect amount of zest, stuffed artichoke is one prebiotic food that helps keep things moving through your gut. Trimmed and stuffed with garlicky breadcrumbs and baked in a buttery lemon and white wine sauce until tender, this super eat is an all time favorite and admired as an interactive food that has a distinct start, middle and an end! Like onions and leeks, artichokes also carry acetate that spurs the fat-burning activity in the body.
Need more of greens and taste? Roast artichoke hearts and asparagus with olive oil, Parmesan cheese, breadcrumbs, and a spritz of lemon. And if you’re any good at experimenting, try stuffing your ‘choke with quinoa, tomatoes and herbs and see some fascinating taste unfold on your platter.
Considering people at all phases of life are under-consuming iron and fiber and proteins and other lesser known serious nutrients, the benefits of cruising through your day with all-natural version eats, goes beyond these eight delightful melt-off foods. There are hundreds of sin food recommendations to cut back on your calorie consumption heavily. But there is no super eat that could increase your lifespan, help you feel full, clear up your complexion, control your cholesterol and reduce your risk for cancer, diabetes and heart disease?
All you could do is to mix and match foods to meet your daily quota without going easy on your weight loss plan.
And you’ll definitely have to let go of that Achilles heel; the one food that you can’t seem to help yourself digging into!
Like Drake, sometimes I wish if I could go back in times, not to change anything but to feel couple of things twice! I would want more of this dangerous, jazz-shaped immortality for myself!
Life sucks and it definitely is not a cakewalk. If it were, wouldn’t we all be rich, sipping a classic mimosa on our ocean front property? But even when it’s true that I don’t or ever will own a beach house, doesn’t mean that my some 50-ish years have been hard-only. Loads of little things have inundated my life- improving everyday of it without totally breaking the barriers. From miniature vacuums to bedside night lights to heated lunchboxes, shower liners with handy pockets, and even a shampoo brush to massage my scalp, these endless options haven’t failed me few clever moments of sweet happiness. But the phantom in me, pines for more. There’s this stain remover that works so well on red wine, that I forgot; I think I can hear it calling my name.
Let’s face it; Life isn’t easy and glee and all that; but you know what is?
It’s almost a year since I started to catalogue list of things that I wished I had lots of them in life. I called it ;“Things I wish I had more of them”. I initially came up with some boring things about life, career and relationships; things that I’d learned over the years and gathered from mentors, books, friends and people close to my heart. But later some better stuff filtered in; good choices like love, happiness, contentment trumped everything else.
I created it to remind myself of useful things that mattered; probably more so because it kept my hope alive to relive them someday.
A year later I still read it a few times each day and wait for crazy things to happen!!
What do I wish I haven’t had enough? What could I offer myself back again with what I have learned over the past years? Of course, this is an idea that people play around with in their minds; and quite often realize that an upbeat past has the genius to turn things around for some good in present as well. So, why not wish for it?
Unable to warp back in time? Fear not! You’re not scammed…
If you are someone like me, let me recommend a few out of my own list that I wish for more. It’s Ok if I couldn’t wake up to a wish fulfilled each morning. I know desires have a cranky way to keep you thinking for the rest of your life about an even stranger scenario; you returning back and reliving them.
Image source: ‘Woman leaning on her table’ by Marcus Aurelius in pexels.com
Wish I could do exciting things once again
Funnily; it’s not about success or even remotely about happiness! It’s about doing things that are exciting. In my declining year, I still want to be a 25yr old jaunty good looking beau, gleefully chasing some haute’ damsel from neighborhood. I want us to climb the trees, jump the wall and beat up all the bully boys when feeling pissed off! I want to live my share of one heartbreak, one true love, one success and one moment of despair again. I don’t want the creaking knees or cringing eyes falter me or the loosening skin shame me. I want to be reminded of all the battles that I survived and the ones that I won.
I want me to be excited. I want to be nubile and mercurial. I want to be foxy, short, sweet and crisp; all at the same time!
Could there be anything more desirable than this?
Image source: ‘Old dirty sneakers on tree’ by Chris F. in pexels.com
Wish I had saved more
Like any young boisterous nerd, when young I was quite mindless about money. I did save and invested but I couldn’t manage to hoard it. Not that I was letting the thought pass by me but I had more exciting things crowding my days. I was getting carried away by the whims of the moment. A few simpler things could have made my present more bullish and upbeat. I could have done so much but didn’t pick up; I simply whizzed past in the fast lane!
See…when you are young you ride the wave of youth. You feel you’re gonna stay young forever. Behaving like a teenybopper I too was equally less impressive and less receptive or perhaps more distracted by less meaningful things! I thought the opportunity to save more will keep on endlessly coming and kept on spending the dime on utterly trivial things.
Why don’t we ever listen to a good advice when we are young? Somehow I feel though that I wouldn’t have listened even to my older 50-ish self then.
Today I wish I could travel back in time and save myself the pain, effort and trouble that I was going to earn for myself later.
If you’re in your mid-20’s and reading this, do yourself a favor; don’t burns the candle at both ends; heed when some good advice heads your way.
Image source: ‘Signboard’ by Monstera in pexels.com.
Wish I had worried less about changing jobs that I didn’t like!
This surely applies to everyone but is more prevalent when you’re a young rookie and Waterloo moment stares you in the face every day of your nine-to-five life. You’re easily intimidated and influenced by peer pressure, authority and roles models expecting you to behave or not behave in a certain way!
Many of my decisions including the one of staying stuck with one job-it hurt most; was influenced largely by the presumption of how it’d look like to others if I did jump the fence and whether everybody would approve of it.
Today, it all reeks of nonsense…
If I couldn’t get out of my fears or shake off influences then, did I miss something important? Have I lose out on living a happy authentic life? Hell no!… but I could have saved myself from endless hours in a dead-end job that failed my purpose and skills.
For the same reason, I admit that being present in the moment with unfulfilled desires is more difficult than when you are in your 20s. You just can’t fathom the value of being present at that age.
#I wish if I were more present then, so many things would have cut fine today!
Image source: ‘Travel items’ by Nataliya Vaitkevich in pexels.com.
Wish I’d read Wayne Dyer earlier or perhaps get to watch Lady Gaga in concert
Years later, I could begin to understand the power of simple intentions only now. I wish I could size myself with Wayne Dyer…Umm! for no particular reason; but living a life of unlimited abundance and getting into your life the right people at the right time; Well…I’ll be damned if I couldn’t pick up the idea; something that I needed so much when I was young. So much time, energy and money I wasted on things that only clutter and complicate our lives. I wish I had learned to co create my World my way when young.
Gee whiz!!…I could have done more with so much less.
Okay! Perhaps Wayne had not hit the stands then yet and I’m not sure about the latter; maybe she took to stage sometimes in late 1980s or what… I never got the opportunity to read him on the SoNet and neither could I get the chance to see her perform live.
Imagine my 20s!! I couldn’t fathom that they were going to change my life so much later on…
Amid all uncertainties, I wish I ought to have read all the enlightening things being taught in the books then or perhaps seen her perform on screen at least!
Today I watch Lady Gaga getting love from fans for sweet moments with Liza Minnelli at Oscars 2022 on flickering screens. I wish someday I’d get the opportunity to watch her perform live at Dolby’s.
But for now I guess, she‘ll have to stay in my list of ‘should haves.’
Feature credits: ‘ Run!’ by Proper films in Youtube.com on Sep. 02, 2019.
Life is all about what’s happening in the present moment. While we wish, want and dream, our real lives are already happening. For me there has never been anything more terrifying than the prospect of dying out and missing out on all of it, because I have been way too busy wishing what more I wanted instead of appreciating what I have.
I wish…
Someday, if I could ever get to meet my younger self face-to-face, the first thing I’d want to say; “Hey, stop worrying. It’s useless. Life will turn out just fine. But you can make it better by following your heart. And know what… everything you hope to feel when you get what you wish for, is with you right here, right now”
If you think that one day you might find yourself saying; “I wish, I had” then by all means do that thing right now! Hopefully you’ll never have to look back for things you wish you had accomplished more.
Trust me; it will pay off so long as you consider your wishes as no more than a little vacuumto clean up your everyday mess!!
From moments of pure bliss to “badass togetherness”, relationships sometimes flinch. Between valleys and peaks, you are never certain whether or not it’s meant to be what it is. Sure you could work around to fix the rough patch somehow. But will that hold? Will everything be the same as before? At what point should you draw the line between rough times and simply giving up?
Or is it time to say enough is enough?
Like everybody else, I could realize the spoil only when it was too late. But I spared myself the anguish, for I knew it’s never too easy to see it from the inside. Sometimes it’s blindingly true, yet we couldn’t see the red flag or smell the rot.
And surprisingly you couldn’t get to start over again…
Bad things do happen in relationships and the rot might ruin the romance, friendship or just about anything familial. Sometimes it hurts and in your anger or inconsolable grief you feel like lashing out, cursing or yelling to let the world know how bad the hurt is. You may even get to the state where you want everybody to be hurt no less; to make everybody feel the misery no less.
The edge happens only when you find there’s no time left to reveal your love; to let others know that over the last few months they made your days a bit brighter and helped you heal better from the hurt that others left behind; that they sank into your heart and stayed put. In the midst of impossible, somehow they became your favorite.
But like good and bad times, there are moments when things begin to get out of control. You are clueless; not sure whether to go with it or away from it. You just can’t hug harder any longer.
If any of these signs are persistently a part of your relationship, you have a serious problem to consider. It might have reached a dead-end and this could be the time to let it go peacefully.
Remember though, every tragic of something is the beginning to a fresh start.
Image source: ‘Sad in railway stock photos and images’in 123rf.com.
When enough is enough
Criticism is good; it gives you an opportunity to find your misplaced positives. But even that has a quota. Negative comments feel cruel and so does one nasty word that can silence a million applause. See…even the SoNet community works the same way; your fans may have cheered you a thousand times but you’d only remember one single message that tried to run you down.
However, if someone in your life always jumps in to say something about your wins all the time, you have a red flag there too!
I say… life sucks! but that’s how it is.
If criticism and negative comments begin to corner your attention… you need a deeper look into what’s happening around. Is getting out of a messy relationship worth the anguish of parting ways? Sometimes it gets dismissive but severing ties peacefully is more impactful than inflicting emotional damage on yourself.
See…there is a pattern of narcissismspecific to each one of us. But even that doesn’t work right all the time. If somebody keeps pushing you constantly and tells you that it’s for your own good so that you may improve; don’t jump for it. If you fall for it you’ll always be looking for doses of approval from others which will never come even if you gave your 100%. Some may even pin for your attention and time!
Criticism and negative comments lower your energy and distract your attention. If you do not want to turn yourself into a junkie looking only for approval and adoration, allow yourself a course correction. Simply let go of a relationship that has constrained you all these years.
And remind yourself…you deserve to live free! So, just let go of the decay.
Feature credits: ‘Letter to a Friend’ by Eddie Pinero in youtube.com on Jul.02, 2019.
No crooning or cocktails!
There is never any dearth of time to change your ideas about the future. It’s Ok if you are not where you thought you’d be today- you have many tomorrows ahead of you. But the journey is never straight; you’d sometimes outgrow what you once wanted in your connections. It’d feel good if you could realize the extent of your responsibility in the context of relationship, today.
This is your journey and yours alone. So, be wary of the people close to you who would not hesitate to throw in your face the things they did for you. They may have lend you a thousand bucks and say that they saved you from penury; more to make you feel wretched than to value kinship.
I know it’s a profound statement and maybe incorrect for some of you; but that’s the truth. If the other person needs to hang the medals for having helped you, it’s time to start over afresh. You can’t turn back the clock or delete memories, but you can choose to live quietly in present.
So, it’s time you bid adieu!
Image source: ‘Here Is How You Say Goodbye To Your Forever Person’ by Ariel Quinn in herway.net on Mar.01, 2022.
In the hustle and bustle, trust walks off
When the bad outweighs the good, it usually means hard times have arrived and are likely to stay for a while. If you can’t remember the last time you were happy…surely the problem is deeper than meets the eye!
Arguments in a relationship come with a territory. You are sad and neglected and could sense that something is seriously off, yet couldn’t pin point why. You find a pair of hoop earrings that definitely don’t belong to your mate or wake up each morning staring vacantly at the ceiling fan and think, “How the hell did I get here?” He’s off to another business trip or you come home to an eerie silence everyday; your phone used to ring off the hook and now all you hear is crickets! You hang in there hoping things to turn around somehow. But with explosive fights, mascara running down the cheeks duels, you know something terrible is waiting to happen.
Essentially, you both have morphed into nasty dinosaurs for each other. You may try to convince yourself that what matters is to live in here and now; but the truth is more savage- you just cannot hide from it.
So, when at the end of the day as you lie down and pat yourself, “Wow! We made it a day without fighting,”, it’s time to get out of the fracas.
Don’t be blind to the obvious and wait to get your heart pummeled. It’s time to dump those dingy rose colored glasses and get yourself a terrific new pair.
Believe me…if you can’t stay civil on vacation in a gorgeous hotel with gorgeous spreads and cocktails and room service…it’s time to say quits.
Image source: ‘Why is it so hard to say goodbye?’ by Richard in richardcollison.net on Oct.22, 2017.
Many times you’d be tempted to make excuses and stay put in a relationship that has reached its expiration. You keep on hitting the reboot button, frantically hoping that everything will be Ok again. This continues to happen until the next time when the not so funny emotional roller coaster starts all over again. Eventually it’s a Joe No-Show and you could feel the cold feet. This means that both of you have flaked out and lost each other for good.
You may not be ready to face it…but that’s fear talking. Don’t let it rule your life. So listen to your instincts, trust your guts and stop working for a relationship that has jumped the fence. It’s time to admit that your future with the other person isn’t on the radar.
Should this happen, start taking care of you and break into a happier life. Value your needs, wants, and most importantly, yourself. Without depleting yourself, step out into a life that you truly deserve. Think of yourself twenty or thirty years from now and merit yourself by doing the right thing.
Above all stay away from people who will sooner or later leave you stranded.
Overworked and worn yourself to a shadow, you’re struggling to jazz up! You’ve even tried to fix fatigue by hitting the sack more often— only to wake up more exhausted. If that’s you, here’s the secret: Sleep and rest are not the same thing, as many incorrectly confuse the two; ; yet one won’t come without the other either!
Image source: ‘Weary housewife with mop resting on rug at home’ by SHVETS productions in pexels.com.
It’s 7.00 am and dogs and diaries are all lined up for the day. But more than feeling energized, everything is pissing me off. In no less the same way brothers would hurl nuclear weapons at each other and get out unscathed, I snap at nobody in particular;
“Why the hell do we get to face another day uninvited?”but her around, then in a more resigned tome;
“Suppose I’ll have to make do with what I get”.
She ignores me and tersely retorts; “What this Putin is doing? Have you been following the news?You know what; I can’t get him, Zelenski or the war out of my head”.
I remembered; we were talking about the war in East Europe last evening.
“Oh really!… I’m sure he’s very concerned about your opinion”, I chide softly.
“Shut up”, she admonishes. “Wouldn’t he know how to stand up to his credo?After all he’s no comedian actor turned President like Zelenski”.
True; the world we live in, it’s the jesters and jerks making big, who hit the headlines more often trying to make the most sense these days.
I sigh and decide not to snap back. I feel tired and worn out.
Yesterday, it was a holiday and I’ve had a late afternoon slump; went to bed early. Yet, this morning I don’t feel rested; the surge of well being is simply not there.
I grumble and whimper… Guess, I am yet to give in to the frustrating truth about R&R.
Why else would you want a proper break if you’re not feeling tired, gutted and need it?
Uh-Oh!! Who am I kidding?
You already know it! Take regular breaks throughout the work day; sitting long hours at desk is worse than jabbing yourself with an Ebola-infected syringe; eating lunch at your work station is a sin…blah blah. You are aware and so you should get up frequently, yoga poses would help, nip of fresh air in the park- perhaps even a power nap…
All this aims to make you happier, more productive. Who knows. some day you may even decide to leave for Office earlier with enough gusto to spare.
But actually you don’t do any of these…do you?
Instead you surf face book; read blogs, watch extensively crazy youtube video and all the while munch peanuts for no reason; all the while miles away!
In the meantime all this atrocity builds up a frustrating irony about sleep and rest that very few acknowledge!
When we are drearily tired and burnt out, we miss the basic connection between fatigue and poor decision making. Our willpower gets besieged and we pick up random threads to believe that some ‘cognitive’ break like stretching, chatting, or drifting through social media, is enough to deliver.
If you are the one who has set his heart on this belief…well you couldn’t be more wrong!!
These aren’t really the breaks that I’d look forward to. Given the kinda load they put on our brain, I might as well have continued working with no rest.
For most of us this hoodwinking is similar to ‘bedtime hesitation’ or failing to go to bed at the intended time even when nothing stops us from hitting the sack.
You know the drill;
You are worn out drained and ought to sleep, yet the walk from the sofa to bed via bathroom seems too much of an effort. Surfing absentmindedly through Netflix menus though feels relaxing. Not surprisingly, frustrated sleep means you’re less likely to have the energy to haul yourself to bed the following night!
So, is there any way out of it?
Yup!…
Begin by taking breaks early in the day, before you even feel you need to. This keeps replenishing your energy levels. Move outside frequently, not because of fresh air or some audacious attraction, but because there will be fewer screens to rivet your attention.
Image source: ‘woman sitting on chair while leaning on laptop’ by Andrea Piacquadio in pexels.com
Wrong turns right tricks
Whenever I feel extremely tired and have an intense urge to lie down, I know something is not working for me. Each one of us has days when we feel exhausted and run down. It’s Ok, but constantly being tired and spent isn’t.
And who else but you is there to sense the alarm when something goes off the hook.
Web Quickreads and biohackers usually prank different sleep and rest techniques –from physical and mental to emotional and social, all bragging to kick start you.
But do they really work? Are they any better than some cooked up web story to refresh your senses and fill you with some fresh excitement fast?And are you clever enough to know what is pushing you into sleep dysfunction snare?
In most cases, weariness is weeded out by reworking your lifestyle but correcting or improving your fatigue index is taxing. You need to get to the bottom of it to know what’s causing it before you rid yourself of sleep syndrome.
Here are six possible reasons why you’re always tired and how to get sleep impairment back on rails.
Image source: ‘7 Reasons You Feel Tired’ by Krista M in ba-bamail.com.
Your caffeine fix needs trim
Feeling tired and morning all screwed up!!…
You have gulp down enough of black coffee and in the bargain you’ve earned yourself some spoofed up sleep cycle. You’ll be tired and confused day long and will be tempted for more of caffeine to stay perked up.
But the cycle of poor sleep won’t let you.
And it’s not swell, alright!
Caffeinated beverages are infamous for a temporary energy burst but over-indulgence is criminal. It might roughen up your next day.
If you are a caffeine buff and are currently experiencing sleep issues, try snipping it back. How many cups? That’s difficult…but a cup half-filled each time will do the trick. Your consumption would halve and might improve your sleep and energy levels.
Stimulants like caffeine uncannily exaggerate the effect of adrenaline rush, make your heart pump faster, you respiration fires up… all so much for a kick! The spark however doesn’t last even two hours.
The slump returns afterwards.
Image source: ‘woman leaning on her table’ by Marcus Aurelius in pexels.com.
Eat and beat the woe
The food that you eat and how much you eat, makes one helluva difference to your sleep pattern. It steps up or diminishes your energy levels. If you are eating healthy and are still tired, try changing how many times you eat. Some people get the rush with several small meals throughout the day while others could do with three square ones.
There is no wrong or right; your energy needs may be different from others.
But watch out! What and how much you consume, does matter. Allowing yourself a free run on the table is spooky!
See…it works like a snow ball rolling downhill. The more you gain in weight, the less inclined you’d be towards work. And then you won’t exercise, burn the kals or feel swell!
Poor hydration devastates
Eight, 8-ounce (240-mL) glasses of water daily; this is what we all hear about proper hydration but it all depends your weight, age, sex, and activity levels.
Are you drinking enough of it? Thirst, fatigue, dizziness, and headaches don’t hurt, if you do. But if you feel bulldozed then maybe you’ve strayed off the course!
Staying well hydrated is unique since many biochemical reactions take place in our body every day and need water loss to be replaced. Lower hydration levels means waning energy and ebbing ability to concentrate. In fact, it could affect your entire body, including your sleep cycles.
So, you don’t have much of a choice; you just couldn’t do without it. If you’re not well hydrated, your body will put itself off to maintain water balance instead of giving you energy. All you need to do is to adjust your intake with how much water you’re losing daily.
A simple thing like stopping at a water faucet or a bubbler when you walk by one could just be one good idea.
Some extra won’t burn or spoil anything!
Bad wrap comes with bad rap
Not entirely undeserved, fat issue are plucky and a bad deal when it comes to overall health. Not only obesity is significantly linked to many chronic illnesses, it could just be the reason for your chronic fatigue. Your risk of obstructive sleep apnea might spin-off out of control, cause daytime fatigue and directly affect your sleep cycle. Needless to say you also run higher risk of depression and type-2 diabetes.
Poor sleep quality and sleep dysfunctions spawn weight gain too as you are less inclined to work. Lethargy, drowsiness and exhaustion are your helpmates now and won’t let you free!
Maintaining a healthy body weight preps you for some good sleep and tweaked energy levels. Experiencing some high quality sleep also prevents weight gain and reduces fatigue.
To begin with, settle for polyunsaturated fats for oils and seafood and monounsaturated fats such as olive oil, nuts, and seeds for the right balance. The unsaturated variety may help lower “bad” LDL cholesterol.
If this helps you any bit; quality sleep would rid you of that creepy hung over feeling caused by the same biological function that gives you a jet lag.
You need a break from SoNet !
Yup! we all want to be emotionally charged all the time. But the glam and splash trashes our physical health at whatever cost. Chatting with close friends or family does the trick for most part. Bright lights, computer screens, background noise and multiple conversations — whether in an office or on Zoom calls — overwhelms our senses.
Worse…if you’re an introvert and your work demands you to be in company of lot many people every day, you definitely would run short on some ‘me time’ to rest and recharge. You can’t spend 40 hrs a week staring blankly at screens or jumbled messy surroundings at work and end up the day surfing social media; yet remain passionate about everything. Innovations?…Not a chance. This mindless disarray will have you mired in sleepless tossing nights in a hurry.
So, simply lay off and lie low. Take a break from your cellphone, screen and other gadgets. Do something as simple as closing eyes for a minute in the middle of the day, unplug everything (mobile and laptop and every other thing) at the end of the day, go for a solo walk, read a book or enjoy a nice tea!
Intentional moments of sensory deprivations will begin to undo the damage inflicted by an over-stimulating world around you.
And the trap will spring open anytime sooner!
Feature credits: ‘Happiness’ by Gordon wjs in youtube.com on Mar.05, 2014.
Don’t be shocked if it feels thick and naked at first; you’re all keyed up and coming to a grinding halt is more painful than continuing.
Yes, you do need a break but don’t expect yourself to want one.
Everybody loves a happy ending, especially when it’s the story of their own life. I have begun writing that ending today. After roughly couple of months in it, lots of scratchy notes and 2000 odd words later I have finally researched my way to be happy forever!!
Image source: ‘7 Simple Ways To Be Happier’ by Seth Symondin lifehack.org.
If you are someone who believes that one doesn’t always need to stay happy and hopeful through difficult times and seriously think that recluse in vulnerable spaces is enough to ease off your discomfort, then it’s time you come out of your therapeutic feel good irrationality!
Imagine yourself 10 years ago. Were you happier or less happy than you are today? It’s not inappropriate if you think that you were happier. But 10 years hence, things are likely to be a lot less rosy. And it’s no fun to rake your brains over it now.
Happiness tends to decline as we walk through our lives and bottoms out at around 50. Then something strange happens; it races uphill again till people get split into two groups; those who get a lot happier and those who couldn’t be any less unhappy.
Right around the“I’m so hype!”age, most of us would rush to make few good financial decisions, plan ahead and are more likely to be able to support themselves in comfort and be alive always; rest who wouldn’t, just couldn’t.
Something similar happens with happiness. As we grow old, we begin to see things differently. The excitement and fun of adolescence gives way to brutally negative jibes of adulthood. By now most of us have experienced bittersweet pleasures of life; but little do we realize that these tiny time specks can make us appreciate more and encourage us to be on cloud nine, when the going gets tough.
Tough!!… is it a bad word? It certainly sounds dismissive and cruel. We all have had our fair share of moments when wits got thrown to wilds. It hurt… but prepped us for some plucky life moments ahead!
If you ask me good things happen more often than the bad ones, but often we miss opportunity to stay connected to happiness. We easily forget that age is like some fabled sycophancy that allows us to fly high in the real World. At 50 you could still be the same adorable pig tailed gal or some jaunty good looking knock-out beau. Both of you could still climb the trees, jump the wall and beat up all the boys. Young and raunchy, fiercely ambitious you both have had your share of one heart break, one breakdown, one true love, one success, one moment of despair and gloom – you have had mountains of them.
Cringing eyes, creaking knees and despairingly loosening skin, need not make you falter now. There is no shame in growing old and struggling a bit; it’s a reminder of all the battles that you have survived and the ones you won!
Once you have learned how to love your lines and folds and aches and pains, begin looking for some honest happy moments, few of which you could save for grey years.
Here’s what I did to make my life stay as full and happy as possible when I reach my later years;
Does age equals happiness?
Image source: ‘This is how to find joy: 4 simple secrets to the good life’ by Eric Barker in theladders.com on Mar.17, 2018.
Like everybody else I too will grow old. But I don’t see myself climbing mountains every day to be happy or live in a landscape where that’s an option. I would rather go for a walk or sit in a stretch of green watching the birds feeding. Doing so would give me something to look forward to each day.
For me the ‘sweetness of doing little or nothing’ is all about savoring the moment , having joy in the present and saving a bit for declining years.
When I was young, the happy–well person in me learned well to accumulate resources and habits in pursuit of happiness. Few of these, like generational wealth–so difficult to control, happy childhood-that descended from long lived ancestors and sometimes spots of depression-again a formidable enemy; all have been there to teach me about late-life happiness.
Elders would mock, “Only handfuls heed; rest count on being lucky!”
I picked that up rather seriously!
I thought that being passionate about something that I could pride later on, won’t hurt anybody. So, I chose the best way of maximizing my chances of being happy in my autumn years.
I have made some big investments in my disposition-smoking, drinking, body weight, exercise, emotional resilience, education, and relationships ranked high in my judgment. I have dug deep, chosen the hackneyed lane and I believe that I’ve done the right thing! To some varying degrees, I have kept all of them under my fold since then.
Surprisingly simple, it’s perhaps the most reliable way to see yourself smiling forever!!
Love doing what makes you happiest
Image source: ‘Being Creative Can Make Your Golden Years More Enjoyable’ by Jim Pietrangelo in healthline.com on Oct. 19, 2017.
It didn’t take me long to realize that the best way I could tweak my chances of happiness, is to pursue that one thing that could make my heart race in high octane. Not that I would let any of dopamine, adrenaline or norepinephrine run out of control.
So, I chose…
One small deed; one overwhelming gesture that when I lock my eyes onto, would make me feel all pumped up; one simple action that would make me smile every time I looked back.
I strongly willed to improve upon my ability to weather stressful and unexpected turn of events in life. And I chose to pour my heart into it, letting it to be the last!
Ever since, I have realized that one single most important thing for wellness in life is to raise and foster warm relationships; one that would make you quit small sins; one that you’d have to hold on to if things go south; one that would let you fit the bar pretty well even in a squeaky wrinkled frame.
I’m no die hard biophile. It’s a mean old world and we all have scars but for me happiness is no longer a matter of the heart. I know that I won’t necessarily be doomed to misery if I could work my way to few good, warm relationships.
I just want to be happy and successful. To look back on my life when I’m all old and grey, and think to myself;
“See! I totally nailed it. I have zero regrets.”
Life is surprisingly simple
We hear about success and happiness everywhere we look. We get all sorts of tips and advices about life and about things we should and shouldn’t do.
But it never really works that way every time!
Like most of us, I wasn’t sure what these words actually meant or how to get there. I might already be there and wouldn’t know it yet!
So, I looked around… What could I do to make sure I’m not getting waylaid in my pursuit of happiness? How would I know for sure that I am working towards joy and happiness that right now doesn’t feel tangible?
It’s hard to reconcile everything. Wish for an everlasting happiness and it would usually contradict ways to a successful life. The hard part is that there is no clear answer to this and all those wisdom bombs are only part truth, part value.
I needed to find the right balance for myself.
I took an inventory of all my habits and behavior and judged myself where I needed to invest a little more time, a little more energy and a little more silver to start moving in the right direction. I worked ‘smarter not harder’ so I’d still have some fun left to myself and not be exhausted or miserable when I turn 70s.
I’m no goofball; I’m hopeful and see opportunities differently. I’m sure I’ll find my perfect grin soon.
Feature credits: ‘The Seed’ by Andy Matthews in youtube.com on Aug. 24, 2017.
As I sit quietly, I reminisce one premier episode of Grey’s Anatomy; normally a few laughs, sometimes some tears; one dialogue in particular that really hit home for me. Somewhere a patient had said something along the lines of;
“Well of course you are happy, but is there really a cap on happiness?
Lately I think I’ve been very happy; maybe I’ve maxed out. But then I remind myself; there is always room for more of happiness… there’s so many miles to go.
I also know that not everyone feels the same way. I see people battling with misery and anxiety every day and this touches me to appreciate my happiness all the more.
All this has drawn an empath in me and I know that everyone deserves to be as happy as I am.
I wish, if only you’d do just one small close to your heart thing, to bring a difference in your World and empower yourself to be happy always.
It’s unlikely that you’ll follow everything that matters and that’s Ok. Just pick and choose the one that sounds easy and worthwhile and take your first step slowly!!
Someday you’ll find yourself lucky… blessed if you may!!
Anger is a nightmare and not without consequences. Many a times we reach out for stuff that does nothing to relieve our hideous mood while we endure. But one thing is certain… anger is something that few of us can control and the rest can count on having major issues dealing with it. To calm down all you’d do is either count till 100 –this does not work for me- or sip on some green tea to save yourself from going back to those peevish emotions.
But yup! … There’s another way out too.
If you are in a snappy mood, yelling and overreacting to anything and everything, then you definitely need to work on your cranky attitude. It’s hard to rationalize but you really aren’t yourself if you are angry and without realizing it neither are your well controlled self.
Hopping mad and hormones in you upping the ante! Between snapping at everyone in sight and angry at the entire world, your stomach rumbles and you get more irritable. Maybe you are hit by Hanger- the ugly-romantic expression for mash up of anger and hunger. Shaking, feeling weak and fatigued, you continue to boil while the fight-and-flight hormone (adrenaline) continues to race through your veins, pushing your mood to limits and making you behave ugly.
This is when even small things feel like the end of the world!
If there is nothing happening outside your body for your irrational behavior, then probably you are not getting enough glucose to your brain and it’s struggling with energy intensive tasks. Your blood sugar has dropped and you are fighting yourself not to flambé your surroundings.
But you are not alone…
As much I hate to admit, I love to think of myself as calm, level headed fellow but deny me food for a few hours and the going gets tough for just about everything! I have had my fair share of anger management but crying for food? ….everything would fly off the handle. And I ain’t sorry for what I say or do.
This I believe, is the point when extra snacking helps even if the next eat was a while away.
There is a lot in the world that could make you angry, stressed or worried all the time. So, when times get tough and moods tougher, navigate yourself to some squeaky clean food to calm yourself down. A box of donuts or a bag of chips is what you’d jump for, but be wary…they will also quickly push you back into throes of anger.
So, here are a few eats that may not exactly relieve you of incendiary emotions but would help you channel that fuming energy into something blessedly trivial. Besides no matter how cross you are, you still have to eat! Why not something that would ease off your thumping pulse?
Chickpea and pomegranate Greek salad
Fifteen minute prep time and this salad is a go-for meal after a ‘not-so-healthy’ day, when you’re looking for few good things that you couldn’t find in 4 champagne cocktails, cheesy dip or a late night pizza.
There are many smart ways to a pomegranate only if you knew how. Help yourself to a quick, simple almost vegetarian stuff. Of course you’d have preferred something more elaborate, but now with a nasty busy day staring you in the face, you’d better settle for something inane.
Feature credits: ‘Greek Marinated Chickpea Salad’ by Recipe Tin Eats in You tube .com on Jun.03, 2020.
This salad is straightforward enough but the appeal lies in texture. Chickpeas as always are dense and mushy but meaty crunchy cucumbers and pomegranate seeds, creamy salty feta cheese and bright herbs, all woven together in a simple tangy dressing of olive oil and tart red wine vinegar, come to your rescue in fighting off your misery.
Smacked cucumber salad
Image source: ‘Smacked Cucumber in Garlicky Sauce (Suan Mi Pau Huang Gua)’ in blog,seasonwithspice.com.
Wake up your therapeutic feelings by smacking a cucumber into bite-size treat. It’s a delightful salad, right down to its salty, slightly spicy sauce and a perfect food for short outbursts or when you suddenly find yourself about to explode right in the middle of something important.
Lentil and macaroni soup
Image source:’Lentil Soup with Macaroni’ in eatsmarter.com.
Isn’t it exciting and euphoric to clench something tightly in your fists and crush it into tiny bits? One perfect fix for your pent up irritability and you let off some steam in a jiffy! Crushed canned whole tomato soup with tantalizing fresh macaroni pasta with a dash of olive oil is your best spin of the day. Believe me; nothing would better a bowl of this refreshing nourishment. Leftovers would keep well for a few days. Leave out the pasta and you can freeze dry it for quite some time.
Banana-almond-flax smoothie
Image source: ‘Banana almond flaxseed smoothie’ in footprintstofitness.com on Aug.7, 2016.
Is your boss giving you some tempers off late? Somebody close getting onto your nerves? Slurp down some of the hostility on the go with a banana-almond-flax smoothie that works great both to your mental health and your taste buds. Ward off anger and depression with nuts and flax seeds that are good sources of omega-3s.
Greek yogurt with honey and granola
Image source: ‘Greek Yogurt With Honey, Fruit And Granola’ in recipebook.io.
Packing-in a few happy ingredients, this positivity parfait is one easy way to curl up your spooky madness on the go. Friendly probiotics slackening your depression and easing off those buzzing sounds in your head make full fat Greek yogurt a tasty way to fight the blues. Add a spoonful of honeyed sweetness and you get a punch-up to fight off irritability; in part by reducing inflammation in your brain. Pitch in some berries to score one extra health point!
Quinoa, spinach, and shiitake salad
Image source:’Shiitake Quinoa Salad Recipe’ by Stephanie in iamafoodbog.com.
This super-food-packed salad’s has all the awesome goodness of vegan protein. A complex carbohydrate, it reins in depression and anger by pushing up levels of neuro transmitter serotonin in your brain. Besides the mood-boosting spinach comes loaded with B vitamins. Pair it with mushrooms- a good source of selenium and give a tough fight to anger and depression.
Poached eggs and asparagus
Image source: ‘Poached Eggs With Asparagus And Tomatoes’ in incredibleegg.org.
These stellar protein orbs are any time epic food even for jaded gourmands. A good source of vitamin D, eggs provide mood-boosting vitamin B. Paired with asparagus that contains tryptophan, the combination is an ultimate bite on a cold wintry morning. Frayed tempers, godforsaken tantrums!… increased levels of feel-good serotonin in your brain would do the trick and sizzling arguments would never get past your plate.
Brown rice and black beans
Image source: ‘Black Beans with Brown Rice’ in tasteofhome.com.
Eating when you’re angry or riding low is usually not recommended. But certain foods have the power to ease anxiety and fight anger. Beans aren’t just good enough for your heart— they work wonders to your brain too. Selenium in them picks you back up when you’re feeling low. Plus, brown rice helps to lift your mood by regulating serotonin levels.
Walnut-miso noodles
Image source : ‘Walnut Miso Noodles Recipe’ by Heidi in 101cookbooks.com.
If you feel like a raging bull, all seething, stormy and blustering; this food is your best bet to keep your frenzy in check. Everything about this dish yells health, happiness and moreish. The whole wheat pasta is a complex carb to nurse your serotonin levels while walnuts come with the punch of Omega-3s to help grapple with your anger and grouchiness.
Whole-wheat pasta with cauliflower and collards
Image source: ‘Sicilian-Style Cauliflower with Whole Wheat Pasta’ in foodnetwork.com.
If you are reeling with anger and frustration, chances are your brain is not getting enough fuel to manage normal cognitive functions. Don’t beat yourself up over some stale cracker or lint covered protein bar. You may have come across touted versions of this dish elsewhere but the one with cauliflower and collard greens is your best cinch.
Generous portions of cauliflower not only make it taste gorgeous but also provide vitamin B-6 and folate.
Chocolate Chia seed pudding
Image source: ‘Chocolate chia pudding’ by Lisa Bryan in downshiftology.com on May 09, 2019.
If you notice people around you are slowly backing up and turning indignant to your mood, it’s likely that your hanger’s ugly head has turned menacing. Not only you are frightening to people around you but also you are vulnerable to mistakes you wouldn’t otherwise!
So, cool off a little with classic scoops of Chia and Chocolate pudding! A more sustaining alternative to standard tapioca, this one is a double whammy food to fix your mood swings.
Chia seeds have all the goodness of depression and anger fighting omega-3s, and dark cocoa powder helps keep bad moods in check.
Coffee with cinnamon
Image source: ’10 reasons you need to add cinnamon to your coffee’ by Heather Fishel in food-hacks.wonderhowto.com on 14 Mar.2016.
No Red Bull for you if you have the urge for a war cry in the thick of a long afternoon. Coffee is a natural stimulant, boosts your energy and perks up the metabolism so you can face the day without berating much. A hot one kicks you alive by raising levels of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. And a sprinkle of cinnamon is all it takes to pep up your slurp.
Green tea and honey
Image source: ‘Lemon Honey Green Tea’ in godrej.com.
Angry and hungry!… you’re more likely to pick up an argument with your sweetheart for no particular reason. Since you may in all likelihood act awkward or be aggressive towards the people you’re closest to, it’s not uncommon that both of you will share the ignominy together.
Green tea is one great source of L-thiamine to relax your mind and sharpen your wits. Sip through a cup of the green stuff at breakfast, before bedtime or… during a brawl break.
Does this all mean that food is the cheeky stuff that could alter your mood and probably back-off your pyromaniac blues? Is it something that we should depend on for our mood swings and anger control? Aren’t we happy enough when we go for pizza or head straight to ice cream buckets and cakes and cheese induced snacks?
Not to place judgment, I just wish more people would see how detrimental it is to their well being to be hamstrung by anger and not doing enough to let it go.
Image source:’ Woman sitting on black chair’ by Anthony Tran in Unsplash.com.
It’s a mean old world and we all have our share of scars. Yet we all talk about how great things will happen in future. But happiness isn’t something that we wait to happen later. It is something that we strive for each moment every single day; work deadlines pushed up, coffee spilled over new shoes or failing that midterm, annoyances and hard habits pulled under the rug; everything and everybody works to be just happy. Even the most pessimistic could do with a little bit of sweetness in life.
Unfortunately not everyone has fewer problems or lesser troubles in life. Things do sometimes turn topsy-turvy. And you could be in trouble if nagging emotions like guilt and shame overshadow your resolve even for something as simple as losing weight or cutting back on booze. You are absolutely the kinda person who succumbs to his worst habits pretty fast.
But it doesn’t have to be this way all the time.
What if we could somehow influence our worst traits enough to serve us better? Skeptical! … It’s not my kinda stuff either but if you ask me, things don’t turn south every time you push for redemption. By being intelligently and purposely lazy, less mindful, messy, slow, cluttered and bad tempered, you could actually get rid of years of craziness and be more successful and happier on your own terms.
Building a good relationship with yourself is always a worthy investment…isn’t it? After all, we all spend quite a bit of time with ourselves; so might as well learn to enjoy it!
Here are a few life hacks that made even the lazy and wrathful person in me a little bit more happier.
Love your anger
Do you get to explode at a work meeting? Or do you think, ‘What that person says, is upsetting. I’m going to address it, but not now.
Whatever, you simply can’t wish anger to go away. It’s strong – it’s high energy, it’s not comfortable and it takes some time to ease off. There are times when you are in-the-moment but don’t know how to handle it to your advantage. But what if you could plan using that anger at some other time?
Everybody gets angry when a situation changes disruptively but very few realize that we can use that intense energy only if and when we know what we’re angry about.
Image source: ‘ Smiling Asian woman in apron’ by Amina filkins in pexels.com.
I learned to draw on that anger- not to match the intensity or reactionary blow-ups – but to harness it for good. Rather than wading in or stepping up the conflict, I found it helpful in managing overwhelming situations. All I pushed for was not to let it get out of hand.
After all anger is not rage. It’s not the hardest thing to handle; but if you could, it would sharpen your focus, ping you with lots of emotional information and get you some surprising outcomes.
It’s neither good nor bad-it’s what you do with it that matters.
Stop being ‘ busy’
I guess I love being lazy now!…. but I do not let my mind be occupied with squeaky distractions. I am talking of proper idleness- choosing to do nothing!
For most part of the day we stay focused on checking things off our to-do-list which is otherwise Ok. It helps in developing a productive mindset but en route it turns our personal lives into kinda running checklist, rather than something enjoyable.
Allowing myself to be lazy was just the perfect antidote I was looking for. For once I could stop checking G-news and Face book and WhatsApp every 10 minutes or hang on to some freaky e-mail that ought to have left me worried some three weeks ago.
Stuck with laziness! …maybe a little but for once I could waylay those scary to-do-lists at home and embrace slower healthier activities like taking a walk or reading a good book. Wonder, why I couldn’t guess earlier; I was so close to being happier, simply by being brilliantly lazy!
Of course, the tricky part isn’t finding the way but having the reason to fulfill it.
Negative emotions sometimes do fix things
I never like the idea to settle things in part because being with difficult emotions leaves me feeling wasted. Maybe my understanding of ‘toxic positivity’ touches the darker side of psyche each time I land in a limbo. It’s like ‘I am tryingto cheer up someone who actually just wants to be heard’.
The positivity falls flat.
Haven’t we all have experienced it; when as a parent or as a partner all we wanted was our problem solved instead of simply talking about it?
But I find million good things about negative emotions. Fear, rejection, jealousy, guilt, sadness; all help me to navigate well in the social world. Like everybody else, I don’t spend much time tolerating negative emotions. I turn on Netflix or would grab a good book, sip through a cuppa good coffee or rush out to the porch to do some good to myself. I prefer to stay out of touch with intolerance.
I am no longer parenting misery or sadness!
Feature credits: ‘8 Ways to Overcome Anger’ by Mind Tools Videos in YouTube.com on Aug.06, 2018.
Try to be less mindful: It works!
Mindfulness isn’t something that creates a moment of calm if you are in the middle of a crisis. Anxiety, panic attacks or physical dissociation – these disruptive emotions with generally negative results and potential side effects leave you with nothing to fall back if things go awry. I won’t say mindfulness is bad but it doesn’t make life any better. I realized that being mindful made me feel unlovable, unworthy and if I allowed-it would consume me. I wouldn’t feel cared for and insecure with no sense of belonging.
Contrarily, I got better at recognizing that worrying less- helps, for there is no cure for it. It simply arouses feeling of fear and anxiety and gloom.
Besides who wouldn’t love to feel safe, secure and free of any fear?
Things have since gotten nicer and better as I dwell on it and gently guide myself back to everything that matters.
So, you too could make this personal for whatever your needs are and see things brighten up!
I jumped making resolutions
I despise getting bogged down by those silly New Year’s vows. I am not the kind who put his feet down firmly and stays put. I get shy fast and would quit in no time.
So, this year I decided to stay clear of resolutions. I tried approaching myself with as much kindness and love as possible. And…it felt good!
Think of it like this;
“If you hate your guts enough to lose 20 pounds, do you really think you would end up 20 pound lighter?
Hmm!… maybe, maybe not. But what you will certainly have practiced is hating your guts.
Image source: ‘Happy young woman in apron’ by Tim Douglas in pexels.com.
As far as I can see, self dislike is what drives most of us to resolutions. Dreams to dazzle push you to make epic promises that usually never get past the idea.
It would sound infamy to say this, but to be at large has been a brilliant win for me. It’s also the most loving, beautiful and exciting fun to keep all those barren promises out of my hair.
I feel free and I tell myself… life’s not so bad!
I think I now love myself deeply, no matter what!!
This year I forgot to make New Year resolutions in time and in turn decided to stop striving to be someone I could never be. I felt it’s time to embrace my messy, imperfect, soft bellied self and put my worst fears to good use.
This is how I made some real peace with myself and learned to love negative emotions.
Image source: ‘Hearing voices is more common than you might think‘ by John Read in theconversation.com on Oct. 21, 2016.
To me, penning thoughts and phrasing them is a messy affair. I wonder, if you are here only because you don’t know how to come up with your next story idea and have scant respect for my writing skills. Maybe you just want something apropos, some inspiring thought for your next storyline. I wouldn’t know if my choice of words convince you enough to appreciate that I too am a borne writer.
Either way, let’s get it right!
If you are reading this, I know one thing for sure;
You are a ‘curious’ person! And in that my success is certain. Oddly, curiosity makes one smart enough to want to know more and understand better. It makes you dig around for answers to “Why?” and pushes you to keep hunting until you are satisfied!
We all have our share of bad days and like everything else; I think I too have had some poor articles, or essays or blogs!! For me writing never meant to be rude or shocking or like some spilled beans on paper. I have felt and always acted on the desire- to purge myself of what’s inside me so that someone like you will understand what I feel at this moment.
Image source: ‘14 Hope Quotes Ideas’ by quote.cc in pinterest.com.
If only wishes were horses!
It’s hard to remember the last day, the last week or the last month when I laughed and found things intensely funny and rib tickling. When were those few hours that I wasn’t worried about something and enjoyed watching sunset or lying snug in warm quilt with a good book when it was raining outside on a wintry afternoon?
It’s kinda hard whenever it crossed me; “Like everything else, this too will end in a while”!
Perhaps, I ought to glue something more inviting on my PC; something that would say;
“I am more smart, strong and brave than I think I am. I am my hero with a golden heart”!!
See, it’s hard to learn about yourself from a distance, but maybe I have.
I wake up each morning and wonder what better could be there to write about. I read articles every day. I nose through pointless stories and try to make some sense out of them. I even look around for everything that would fit me into the bar.
Aw-shucks! Who am I kidding?
I like it when my stories are read but I absolutely love it when you subscribe! I get goose bumps each time an eye finds my page. I stand witness to your curiosity, your humor and your intellect every time I get reviewed.
Did I get it right? Maybe I am brave enough to hold on to a faltering confidence!!
My writing caper has not done anything to fill my wallet so far. Like you I too want to prance around to a success with words. I am though, yet to establish myself as someone with something up his sleeves every time he dares to shine. I know I cannot survive on catchy phrases and snappy headlines only.
But then there is this terrible voice endlessly growling inside my brain…
I must write…I must write…!
Feature credits: ‘How to be happy in 2 minutes The strongest motivation for happiness’ by My Inspiration in You Tube.com on Dec, 12, 2021
Last night I dreamed… of that nasty hand again; reaching out for me and a muffled voice breezily saying; “Never mind, you will get a new cat,”!
Wishes communicating!… Hell no! I have no pet and so couldn’t make much of it. I though remember feeling untouched and used.
Is that 1628 Scottish proverb nothing more a nursery rhyme? Wouldn’t wishing something dearly from your heart, could make it happen? Wouldn’t some falling star come to my rescue?
Yet I couldn’t resist writing and wishing …
I wish you to read what I have to say and give me the chance to shine and impress. I wish like everybody else you wouldn’t shut the window and run away. I wish to stand out with my content to an extent where people would hunt for my name and not for the headlines alone.
And it doesn’t mean that a downright naked-in–a-crowd nightmare is waiting to happen!
Here’s what happens after you nod off.
Image source: ‘Can lucid dreaming help us understand consciousness?’ by David Robinson in theguardian.com on Nov. 14. 2021.
Did you have a dream last night that has left you bonkers? Is it the one that drops in on you day after day?
Spooky!…Maybe it’s trying to tell you something.
Or perhaps it’s our brain’s way of communicating while we sleep. It’s wired like that but…
Oddly our mind isn’t. It’s as recklessly restless as ever. In fact it stays as active as it is while we are awake. Of course it doesn’t work like a neon sign, flash momentarily and do away with the dreaming business. But while awake it gushes around analyzing things happening around us…feel, touch, emotions, events; just about anything that we bump into.
Strangely enough, all of this can turn into dreams, though it’s not always obvious what dreams try to tell us. Sometimes we get freaky ones that stick out. At others, these could be downright frightening.
What does it mean when you dream you can’t find your shoes? What if you go blind in dreams? What if you dreamed of getting divorced? Right from abysmal fall to a frightening abduction by ETs, every moment of your dream has something to speak of about yourself that you wouldn’t realize otherwise.
So…read on for some startling revelations! Here’s to few common dreams and what they might be trying to tell you!
You are running like hell
You definitely are mobbed by some insecurities. You worry too much about what people at work think of you; how’d they react to anything new happening in your life. Just about anything and everything disquiets you.
I wouldn’t wait for anything steroidal happening, if I were you. I would let go anything and everything crazy and creepy.
You can’t find your shoes
You couldn’t make up your mind over some important decision you have to make or some cracking position you have been asked to assume.
If you find you have misplaced something of value in dreams; it’s just that you don’t think much of yourself and value yourself a little less in real life. You could be steaming low on self esteem in waking life.
You are falling into an abysmal depth
It’s a huge red flag for you! It’s a sign that you have some major issues in life; work, relationship, just about anywhere. You would feel as if things are running out of control and there is very little you could do about it. You are rather hanging too tightly to something particular in waking life. So simply relax and let go of it.
You dream of your loved ones suffering
Would there be anything worse than to wake up from a dream where you watched your loved one suffer. It feels valley low. Guilt pangs have hit you hard for having done something wrong in your relationship with this person. Atone it and feel wonderful.
You dream of death
If you die or feel like dying, it might be that something in your life is coming to an end. It doesn’t necessarily mean foreboding death or you having some terminal illness you didn’t realize you had. In your waking life this signifies that a part of you is changing. How you react to the event in dreams is the only way to know if the change is a welcome one or has been forced upon you.
You are late
…And you couldn’t find ways to make a rush for some very important date! You are not a White rabbit yet you have panicked for being late! This simply means that you are overwhelmed and inundated with work stress. Being late makes you feel as if you’re making promises that you can’t keep. Don’t leapfrog but strap your boots tight!
You have become stinking rich
You have struck gold! You have won the lottery and you are feeling at the top of the world. This sudden richness in dream reveals your deepest desires- from being rich to traveling the world and mean that you have become more wiser in waking life. Not so much material as spiritual wealth, it would also mean elevation of your worth to others. No pep talk this one! It’s the beginning of a new you.
This is great! Now that you know of it; chase them.
You’re in love
This is serious! If you bump into a passionate date in dreams and feel as if you are about to fall in love, then kick yourself!! You lack this kind of intimacy and passion in your waking life. Your love life, if any is all flattening and your uniqueness is being ignored.
You have missed the ride
You find yourself stranded on a platform or tarmac for having missed your flight or the train has departed. It’s a sign that you are weighed down by too many commitments. Maybe you are pushing yourself too much in waking life and fallen from grace one time too often. It hurts. But you can get to redeem yourself once you become intensely aware of your deep seated priorities. Just leave unnecessary baggage behind and be friends to your internal vibes. Remember; you cannot beat the clock!
You have done horrible things
You dream of having committed some satanic crime and trying desperately to cover it up. This could mean that there’s a problem inside you and you need to address it fast before you get a meltdown. Besides a whole host of other wild dream-crimes might leave you feeling evil.
You’re unable to speak
If your voice fails you in your dream, this could mean you are bedeviled with some unresolved tension in your waking life. You really want to be out with what’s in your mind and to speak and be heard. Begin with addressing issues in waking life if you feel ignored and have found no way to make your opinions heard.
There’s always a better way to shoot the breeze!
Image source: ‘The serious health consequences of not dreaming’ by Derek Beres in bigthink.com on Mar.25, 2018.
You’re flying
Flying in a dream is extremely freeing. It encourages you to let go of things you couldn’t handle and let things happen the way they should. It’s a sign that you have freed yourself from something frustrating and difficult to overcome. Good times or mere coincidence?… may be; but even this feels only when you have managed some weighty decision or whacked through some serious responsibility.
That’s a dream I wouldn’t miss to get onboard with!
You are being intimate with a coworker
Strangely enough, intimate brush in dreams isn’t as straightforward as it sounds. If you dream of being physical with a coworker, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a crush on them. You could actually be looking for an inner connect with that someone having ‘positive traits you admire’ and would ‘welcome in your own life’.
You showed up for an exam but weren’t prepared
You have showed up for an exam and suddenly your heart sinks! you realize you are totally unprepared for it! You feel weird. Bile is swelling in your throat and a sour taste fills your mouth. You fear, maybe you have prep for the wrong subject or just can’t make anything of pages before you.
This dream is a sign of something positive in you; you are a high performer, hard worker and believe in doing things right. So, no heavy hearts! Simply put, it’s your fear of being unprepared that keeps you stoked to be totally ready to perform.
You need to pee, but couldn’t find the wash room
You need it badly, you’re trying but couldn’t find a toilet! If you get bogged down with this dream, may be you’re not addressing your own needs rightly in your waking life .
You literally want to let the crap out of your life. You want to declutter and let go of something or someone you couldn’t hold onto any longer. But you just couldn’t!
Of course!… you might actually do need to go to wash room because your subconscious is tipping-off with dreams of you looking for bathroom in vain.
Search yourself and get rid of dark afternoons!!
You’re getting married to a stranger
A sense of unawareness about your partner to whom you are getting married, is a manifestation of untold fears. You are not totally sure of yourself, what is expected of you and that you might be committing to something that you are uncertain of. You doubt if you will have enough time for yourself if you commit.
You’re getting divorced
You are crass enough to have filled your schedule with too many things and are overwhelmed if you dream of this. Should you despair?
No! this one is trying to tell you that you have failed to balance your commitments and keep up the promises you made to someone close to your heart. You are succumbing to perils of your obligations and everything feels going murderously berserk.
You’re standing stark naked in public
Have you ever woken up in a dream to find yourself completely naked? If you feel at ease being buck naked, you probably couldn’t be more comfortable in your own skin. However, if you are scrambling for cover, it could just be that you feel vulnerable and not happy with who you are right now.
It’s a relief that it’s a dream only, but it might be time for you to find ways to get comfortable opening up to others. An improv class might just be the right choice to begin with.
People from waking life keep showing up
It’s perfectly normal to find friends and family in your dreams, but it’s confusing when you stumble upon an acquaintance. This may mean that someone has left impression on you and might turn important to you in the future. If you dream of someone you like (or love) with someone else, it would mean that you’ve lost the fire and aren’t so passionate about them as the other people around you are!
You’re in an empty room feeling trapped and scared
You’ve got untapped talents for sure. But if you are in an empty room with closed doors or barred windows and feeling spooky and all, it could be about something old that you haven’t look at before; anything related to your life—your job, a relationship—that you’ve shut the door on.
But…no need to be eternally skeptic. It’s only about trying to open that door, even if you’re scared. Take your gloves off and do your bit. If you can’t switch up something major, it wouldn’t hurt to go on holiday for a bit.
Image source: ‘Lucid Dreaming’ by Daviona Plowright in driveforwardfoundation.org on Jun.22, 2020,
You’ve gone blind
If you suffer blindness in dream it could just be that you’re overlooking something in life or worry that you aren’t able to see something. You are in a situation in life or your personality where you have hit a blind spot. You debility in dreams may be expressing areas in your life that you have been dismissive and cruel to.
In waking life you need to go beyond what the eyes see and find out ways to respond in a legit way.
You’re searching for someone
If you dream you’re searching for someone, it would mean that you are trying to reconnect with your own identity that you haven’t touched for so long. Dear me!…nothing to do with that particular person.
You’re lost in sea and drowning
These ones are pretty scary!! You are lost somewhere mid-ocean and you’re boat is sinking fast. This tells you that you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsupported somewhere in your life –either by your loved ones, friends, or at work.
You have found heaps of yummy food
Did you went to bed hungry? If not, this could be something deeper. Food symbolizes energy, knowledge, or nourishment. So, when you dream of it it could mean that you long for more knowledge or somebody or insights about something.
Demons have scared you to death
Whether or not you’re the one of them, if you dream of running around in their midst, it tells that you are secretly feeling as though you should change your behavior. You’re worried stiff about it lately.
It’s time you get rid of that garbage ways and earn some basic respect for yourself!
You’re paralyzed
This is the scariest thing that can happen to somebody in dreams. Dreaming of paralysis indicates that you have a lack of control in your waking life. Sleep paralysis though can occur at the moment between REM sleep and the waking stage of sleep.
Your teeth are falling out
Events in your life are in upheaval. You’ve probably lost something of value in life; maybe a job and with it, your feeling of being in control. Your teeth are the symbol of your confidence and how powerful you feel. So if you dream like this; something is definitely causing your confidence to crumble in waking life.
You’re accused of a crime
If dreams where you find yourself an accused or actually having committed a crime, torment you then probably you’re hiding something from yourself in your waking life—and it isn’t always have to be negative.
The hate dreams where we commit or stand accused some crime usually mimes a conscious choice that we make in waking life to gain wider social acceptance.
Worrying for a lifeline! Ignore some of your personal needs; purge yourself of any guilt and try fitting in. It’s perfectly alright to stay in your lane and redefine yourself.
Feature credits: ‘Interesting Facts About Dreams’ by Kendra Cherry in verywellmind.com on Feb.11, 2021.
So, does this all mean that you should worry! Are your teeth actually going to fall out?
Hell no!!…
Don’t psyche yourself out!
If you are all worked up and fear losing sleep over what your dreams might be trying to sell you, you need not dwell over it for long for one simple reason…
You are not alone!!
We all share more or less the same fantasies and nightmares and rummage for the meaning behind those strange way of messaging. It’s only the way we interpret them that matters.
What dreams speak of is not always as undisguised as you would want to; but you would sleep a little more soundly tonight if only you knew what your mind’s trying to tell.
Just like wine and whisky the world of coffee is intense and complex. With endless versions and infinite ways, learning every trick, every brew method and every mix sounds like a serious cliche’ but you’re never late to stoke your passion for those easy peasy beans.
Tune in to coffee making -the complex Indian way for a start. A stellar coffee experience, it will turn you a connoisseur — in less time than you may think.
Image source: ‘How to tap into the health benefits of coffee’ by Amanda Loudin in nbcnews.com on Dec. 05, 2019.
If you’re creative, shy and introvert kinda morning person, then odds are you prefer coffee over tea.Rather I would say, you are a typical coffee loving person who looks for it’s zing first thing in the morning!
And, what if it gets you to make more money and more pay raises? People in Britain and elsewhere now rally behind the notion that your fondness and choice for morning cup could actually uptick your personality. It pushes you more as a productive, significant and an affordable hand at work!
…in turn your pockets get deeper alright!
More than the ‘tea people’ who are usually pensive and look for tea’s relaxing qualities…. coffee fans are easily likely to say they’re “always” on time.
Latte, Mocha, Italian or American…Like most ‘Coffee persons’ do you also fancy morning cuppa to be black, plain and simple?
Myself a coffee aficionado? No!
I am not a coffee buff nor I eagerly look forward to it. I would rather have tea over coffee. No particular reason… don’t get me wrong! I do like coffee and espresso, including lattes and cappuccinos, but my morning go-to favorite is a steamy cup of sweet fragrant tea.
I have been a caffeine skeptic for quite some time but it doesn’t mean that I have no nose for it. It’s just that becoming a coffee weirdo takes time. It’s equal to becoming a wine or a whiskey sommelier. I think that it takes passion, love for the beverage and the desire to know everything there is to know about it.
And with so much happening in the atlas of coffee making, it’s no easy feat!
I know I have the rush to appreciate the magic of beans and might some day start working my way forward. Still, I respect those who take me for a ‘coffee snob’. And… I understandthat there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a coffee geek at heart!
The point as I see it, is that till you get to explore the world of coffee making and learn the ways to brew it the correct way, people will frown and the cup you think you love might not be even cutting it close.
Image source: ‘Natural Mountains Coffee Archives’ in iddukivalley.com.
Hand beaten or frothy- I wasn’t too fond of it until…!
Like everybody else you know much about coffee. You are aware of the different roasts. You know of the different types of beans, where they come from. You know various flavor profiles and you know of all the fêted ‘decoctions’. In fact you are on top of every new coffee trend that comes your way!
But if you know the beans, flavors, and brew styles so well, are you aware that there are more than one ways to beef up your brew’s flavors and aroma?
No!.. I am not talking about some plain simple morning pick-me-up kinda drink any more, but a hand crafted brew of tropical roasted grounded beans that has enough richness, flavor and complexity to shame even the Starbucks’ favorite.
An overall caffeine sceptic, for long, I was confident of my health when the people talked about anti oxidants and balanced diets. No.. I am no health quirk but it never occurred to me that I was missing anything nutrition wise. Good healthy food, stimulating beverages…just about everything! Tea was also doing fine, till I fell seriously ill in the fall of 2017.
I was diagnosed with acute pancreatitis!
And nobody could actually determine the cause for this mortal condition! Everything changed thereafter. The recovery was slow and painstaking. The attending surgeon was fussy and stern…and warned me to go easy with tea.
So I started looking around for shortcuts to improve my gut health. Like many things that I loved to eat and drink but had to let go, I decided to go blind with tea as well. I had realized that it was merely worsening my infirmity.
To cut it short, eventually it all ended up with me becoming a black coffee drinker! Of course I get to add a teaspoon of sweetener (usually white sugar) to my coffee.
It was while I was convalescing and looking ways to less complicate my caffeine intake, that the story that went into coffee making caught my attention.
Search me… it’s interesting!
Legend has it that the 9th-century Ethiopian goatherd Kaldi was the first to discover the stimulating effect of coffee when he noticed how excited his goats became after eating the beans from a certain bush. Curious, he too chewed on the bright red berries himself. Roused and exhilarated, he brought the berries to a nearby monastery. But the monk disapproved of their use and threw them into the fire. A seductive enticing aroma billowed out that drew others to come and investigate. The roasted beans were quickly raked out from the embers, grounded and dissolved in hot water thus yielding what was World’s first cup of coffee!!
The story is largely believed to be apocryphal; probably because it surfaced some 800 years from the time when it supposedly took place.
Whatever…
Okay, so maybe you already prefer a dark roast brew…
That’s good, but if you were to ask me, you ought to experience every type of blend that exist before you get to decide which one you love most..and which ones a tad less! Once you learn to savor your drink, you’ll have a newfound respect for your local java shop.
Spoon into your perfect coffee bliss: It’s not blah anymore!
While the beans you grind are essential for the flavor profile of your cup, how you brew it is just as important. To call yourself a coffee barista, you need to know all that there is to different brewing methods from different parts of the World and how they affect the taste.
So, here’s to some lip smacking ways to whip yourself a cuppa good coffee.
Pour-over, hand made and without machines, try it the way they do in India! Smooth frothy and beaten up, the Indian cappucino is a powerful espresso that comes topped with a sweet foam laced with some fresh cream and a sprinkle of bitter cocoa.
My pick however is a more trendy go-to-spice one. I tried the spice-laced one once and got hooked up instantly; flavors aside I thought-the benefits are worth it. Now I almost always add cinnamon to my coffee. The zing of this piquant candidate perks up my mood in no time, whenever I don’t feel like using cocoa powder straight.
High on antioxidants and anti-fungal properties, even cayenne pepper, ginger, cardamom, nutmeg, lavender, star anise, clove, pumpkin spice and gingerbread spice mix-all in small quantities- are inching out that square of dark chocolate from coffee these days!
Am I asking you to take a blind shot at this unusual blend? Is this an easy way to stomach those beneficial spices and fiber right through your coffee cup without having to open multiple containers?
Probably ‘ Yes’.
Spices work just great when added to grounded coffee or to dark beans and have significant health benefits.
And it doesn’t taste gross either!
The ways of Beaten coffee
I think this whole coffee craze is a bettered version of a new beverage trend that has coffee recipes popping all over social media.
The Indian filter coffee-southern style is one bodacious rage that is getting heads turned and attentions arrested!. Simply put, it is an easy and absolute fad among the coffee lovers who have chanced upon it.
This decadent Indian style coffee is somewhat similar to cappuccino in that it uses both espresso and steamed milk. The name ”beaten” comes from the process of whipping up the silky smooth and thick mixture that sits atop the brew. By hand beating instant coffee, sugar and water you always end up with the delicious brief.
Making it is simple and takes little to prepare. Brewed coffee using standard drip maker or French press is topped off with the mix of steamed milk (no scorching hot one please!), instant coffee, sugar and warm water, all beaten earlier till the mix turns golden brown and thickens into a smooth frothy mixture.
The aroma and flavors are simply a coffee connoisseurs’ delight and absolutely irresistible!!
Image source: ‘Coffee That Smells Like Freshly Ground Heaven’ in paramparai.store.
South Indian filter Kappi: What an utter delight!
Filter kappi, filter coffee, South Indian filter coffee; call it by whatever name, it is easily every coffee lover’s sigh of contentment.
Do you know why?…
It has one single characteristic that caffeine fanatics love to lust over; the unmatched blend of taste, flavor and the aroma. Even if you are not a coffee addict, nothing would better your mood than to wake up to a cup of freaking good, steamy, aromatic coffee- filtered and made traditionally the South Indian way!
Am I getting ahead of myself?
No… you wouldn’t dare rip through me, once you get to taste a pour of freshly roasted, grinded and filtered punch. Every cup’s a delight and the proper way to awaken your senses first thing in the morning! You’ll love the aroma as you sip away the traditional Madras belter.
For not long ago, I wouldn’t know anything of how to brew a good cuppa! I wasn’t eager enough to rush for it either. Not until I figured out how to make a humble brew into something so atrociously good and overbearing.
I got to travel down South last year on vacation. And there the curiosity trumped me.
I somehow got hooked to filter coffee!
Till then whenever I had attempted to do something with those dark beans, the brew would always end up being too watery. Every time I attempted, it turned out dreary; so much so that I could easily pour half a cup of brewed coffee into half cup of milk and still wouldn’t get it to be as ‘strong’ as I’d like it to be.
It’s only from the by lanes and streets of Chennai (erstwhile Madras) that I learned the trick to make some really good stuff. It was some serious technique that led to some seriously good coffee in the end!
South Indian coffee requires only an indigenous coffee filter to make it right. You might think that plenty of them are lying around or one could be fashioned out; but this one is different; nothing like the regular ones! To taste authentic South Indian coffee it needs to be brewed through this unique stainless steel contraption; believe me; filtering effects are nearly impossible to replicate.
Consisting of two nested cups sitting atop each other; the one at the top holds the grounded coffee and has pores to allow the coffee to pass through while the other one is meant to store it.
Filter kaapi when served in a traditional tumbler-davaraa, all swished a couple of times between the two to produce delicious foam on the top, smells and tastes heavenly. A davaraa is a small cup shaped like a jug with a curved lip. (In some Udupi joints it is fondly called Meter-Kappi and is poured into the glass from a meter’s height to perk up maximum foam).
But you really don’t need one for a genuine Indian filter coffee. Any pair of mugs or cups would do. I wouldn’t approve of swishing though, for those who love it steaming hot. The disadvantage of swishing is that your coffee gets cold easily.
Feature credits: ‘Top Coffee Countries | The Best Coffee in the World 2021’ by Revel in You tube .com on Jul.09, 2020.
Heads-up! A storm of #coffee stories might be coming your way.
If you are with me just for the coffee and earnestly care about how your cuppa coffee should taste, then jump for a traditional Indian percolator with a clean filter, put 2 heaped tbsp of coffee powder and press it down with a spoon. Gently pour fresh water brought to a rolling boil and get an even concentration of decoction in the end. Mix a little bit of chicory and fill milk to 3/4th of the glass. Stir constantly and you have just made yourself a unique filter style complex and aromatic smooth cup of coffee.
Mild or strong- you get to enjoy the aroma and flavors with every sip. Add sugar if you wish and enjoy!
If I were you I would figure out ways to hold back things for tomorrow and start fishing around for a percolator ASAP -just the right one and get my coffee fix each morning-the Indian way!! Believe me, every cup is a delightful and legit way to awaken your senses first thing in the morning with an intense sensual kick.
Still unsure if that would be anything close to a third wave coffee shop?
Make no mistake- you are no pinhead; you’re right there. Just remember, ‘You can never bea wine connoisseur without ever being to a vineyard.
So, reach out, grab a perfect cup of that bold Indian filter coffee and feel a huge uptick happening right away!
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”Frank B. Gilbreth Sr.
When getting out of bed feels awful, when going to the gym seems utterly disgusting and when you just can’t face the idea of siting down at the Office desk, I could figure out what has happened to you. You have crossed into the dangerous territory of laziness! The thief of happiness and poacher of ambition, it will end you up doing nothing with your days, if you let it get hold of you. Quite simply you are ‘dumped but not down’ for you have missed seeing the error of your ways.
Want some help to get out of the funk? Check-out on me on how to trump the struggle and fight blues the lazy way. Sometimes the best way to make stuff happen and relive happiness is by doing nothing at all!
Image source: ‘Dangers- Sleeping with a blanket over the head’ by Richard Adjei in news.payperlez.com on May 25, 2021.
I live in a messy chaotic world. Yet I am perfectly content doing nothing at all. I no longer punish myself and do not let reluctant party animals, chronic slow pokers and clutter of messy desk wizards to hurt me for being a slow pusher any more. Not that I have been like this always. It’s just that one fine morning I discovered that it was not the laziness but my giant intellect that’s to blame for my misadventures. So, I reworked myself out. I lied to my enormous brain down to a nap with pride. And look!! The hard work of being lazy has paid off.
I have finally found happiness!
Funny; I wonder why it feels so good to be lazy in the first place. Why things do not turn turtle for work-shy people; rather everything would start falling into place more intensely? Why all this shade against doing nothing? Why an unenterprising soul is underrated when being lazy might turn him a‘King’ someday. What’s more shocking is that whenever I reached out to romanticize laziness, I ended up get around ways to overcome it.
Feature credits: ‘Study Finds Lazy People Are Smarter’ by Jacqueline Sarkissian in You tube.com on Aug.18, 2016.
So, I decided not to waste time on unnecessary motions; instead I looked around for clues to trick it into my fold and #find the balance between work and weariness.
And see, this is what I learned;
The Hard Work of Being ‘Lazy’
Laziness is something we all experience from time to time, but some people simply love to stay in that refuge forever, once out of that everyday slavery. And there’s a pretty good reason why they adore it so much! They allow their minds to wander into creative territory for free…by being lazy!!
I guess we all are hardwired to fill time. We easily get overwhelmed by things that are on our to-do list and plunge headlong each day, trying as hard as possible to burn ourselves out.
I find this distracting. Do overs or not; for me unrewarded geniuses are not geniuses but clichés.
Interestingly, one study claims that the more the intelligent among us socialize or work heads-down the less happy and sullen they become. The more you mingle, the more intent you get on spilling your guts around telling everybody how happy you are, without being so; the more half-witted jerk you turn yourself into. This sniffs less savory to the more intelligent ones. And the nerd in you stays outclassed as ever.
It’s not so difficult to figure it all out yourselves! Besides who says the world needs Type A personalities only? The ‘L’ types are not like some failed menu item and will eventually land in some rut. Amid misplaced sense of FOMO, a ‘knightly’ life beckons them.
If you are anything close to me, take a sec off and stop being busy. Check yourself out.; what tempts you more, an hour-long walk with your dog, or a snug spell with your pet cat on your favorite couch; all lazed-up?
Well, this might surprise you. If you think that being snug and comfortable in your space and doing nothing, slurs you as a remiss; you are mistaken! This could actually be a sign of intelligence, and not an inclination to remain sedentary or desk bound.
If we are to trust the ethereal revelations of a wispy study made some eight years ago; then cat lovers score higher on intelligence than dog lovers. And why not? It makes some good sense too. A dog person is livelier because he goes out there walking and talking even to strangers with a tethered canine in tow. Contrary to this, if you are more introverted and sensitive, you would probably prefer to stay back at home, read a book, sip a cuppa tea…and your cat doesn’t need to go outside for a walk.
You may not believe this but your pet type influences your choice between different environments. Dog- you take a walk, Cat- you covet the cozy comfort of a couch with your cheesy Ginger snuggled in your lap.
Get the hang of it! Even a brief interruption derails our train of thoughts. Walk your dog and you are distracted by sight of every passerby. It’s like you went too close to another browser tab and got distracted by a cat video. Hang around your home with your cat and you do not let yourself be beaten by those fast-track requests that your quick witted brain lines up fast for you!
At some time or the other all of us get miffed in this mad mad world for one reason or the other. At times bitterness and despair is overwhelming. We are put off partly because we are worried that we have not done enough and largely because we believe that allowing ourselves to be lazy might not be the perfect antidote for that garden variety stress.
Uh oh! Search your soul…No do overs but I guess you know there are ways to be a heartthrob to yourself. Perhaps you’re not lazy after all, or maybe it’s just that your good old brain is playing tricks!
My idea of a perfect laziness however means snacking on a couch, watching telly or solving cross puzzles. This might shock you but I discovered that laziness is what got me interested in being productive at the end; getting more done in less time and getting more time to relax.
Today taking a break feels rewarding to me. I find it ok to allow myself to be lazy occasionally; not because I am a big fan of being lazy, but because I want to be happy. Take a break and be a little lazy yourself if you cherish the same. Next time if someone accuses you of being a sloth, just tell yourself, “I believe he meant to say highly efficient”.
Image source: ‘3 Ways Having a Lazy Weekend Can Be Good for Your Health’ by Lexi Petronis in glamour.com on Ap. 26, 2013.
Shortcuts will cut you short
Most of us are usually bad at being ‘lazy’. And by that I mean not only the mindless distractions that occupies our space and attention; I’m talking about choosing to do nothing; rather prefer being idle. Much of the day we spend checking things off from our to-do list believing it to be of little consequence.
Hell no; this does help!
Our brains are hard wired to focus on things that we find both novel and threatening. Why else would you check news or social media every 10 minutes or worry over some stupid prickly e-mail that you received a week ago? If you are the one who would skip after-work drinks for some other night on the settee and stretch your evenings for a zero-guilt day, you probably are n every hawk’s live checklist every time you enter your Office.
But there is a downside to laziness too!
Getting stuck indoors could make things uncanny; even worse. You tend to get slave to running checklists, always worried about being productive, cramming more things-to-do in a day’s time and in bargain give up things that make you happy. Taking a walk or reading a book or hanging around with friends- you miss all. Unable to perk up your surroundings, no sweet talks with your flame! The squeeze is too hard to stay pumped up all day long. Sure, you are neck deep in weeds and all set to get a miserable heartache and a grumpy evening!
So, if a lazing mindset isn’t always the right choice why Danes and Finns are the happiest persons in the World? Why the chase of getting things done the right way, is no longer an infernal experience for them? Dare find them work shy! No…rather it’s the brilliance of a drifting mindset that makes you more creative and better at problem solving. This is when your focus rests and your brain puts pedal to the metal.
It’s massive! But your brain worries about the future 14 times more during spells of idleness or laziness, compared to being attentive to just one thing when you are kicking around. It literally occupies 48 percent of your bootless time mostly weighing your long term goals and intentions! Try remembering the last time you cooked up some creative idea or worthy solution! Chances are that it didn’t happen when you were hell-bent to finish things before upheaval happened. Instead genius in you may have touched the nerve softly when you have been taking a long shower or sitting on a park enjoying the surroundings.
When you laze and allow your brain to rest, you actually save on your mental pluck and get to expend it on more and more of right things. Hardly anything runs dry your mental strength than an anxious mind and the fear of missing out.
Best way to waylay it?
Just stop running wild, catch your breath, close doors to your mind and let it do nothing; no logic, no reasoning, no judgment- just plain Zero. Cool your heels till it tells you what it needs rather than what it cries for.
To begin with you could stop being obsessing over news; Go take a walk; watch some Netflix, listen Mozart or just soak yourself in a nice leisurely warm bath. It might just be the right thing for you to do. Be crazy to be lazy for once and you get to turn into more productive person than you would ever imagine.
Not long ago, like everybody else I too believed that success stems from hard work alone; but today I find myself rescued. I have reclaimed myself. It didn’t come to me from hard work. It’s rather the lazy way of doing things that have done sheer good to me.
The only difficult part is to see myself a sloth bear. From a rewarding guy to a disinclined and forgettable creep! To work with it instead of against it; sounds weird doesn’t it?
Yet I have triumphed! I have taken to the lazy way of doing things and I have prevailed!
How good will it work for you? Maybe a little; maybe not at all. May be you will get success working long hours and pummeling your nose in the grindstone. But would you prefer not to take the bite if you haven’t tried being lazy? How would you know that it doesn’t work even better? Take a shot, you might like it; even hit the bulls’ eye.
I get plenty of “me” time outside sleeping and dreaming
For the last few days, I kinda feel strange; weird perhaps. I don’t feel like doing anything;
Leave aside work and laze-off? Yes; Screw-around? Maybe.
It is the guilt of doing nothing that has set me up. I get mad at myself and mess with happiness. Easily it is the end of creativity after a day of laziness.
But not all is at it seems! Laziness tend to lie to us and if you think that that’s a problem, then you are bending it and being untruthful to yourself.
Laziness is irksome only because it slows down the time for us. It’s upsetting but it leads to a new insight. For me it works like an early warning system. It’s a sign that I am about to burn out for being overly worked.
The thought itself is horrific and isn’t really an accident!
Feature credits: ‘If you are a lazy person then Watch this’ by daily Motivation in You tube.com on Oct. 14, 2019.
This is when the need to endure kicks in. It tells me that I am a jerk if I don’t get my lazy bum into action, I might be destroying myself for good. Do I need to be on my knees any longer?
The other day I sat quietly and mused. I found myself comparing my present workdays to the ones at my last job. At first, it seemed like I was working a lot less with no 9-5 job.
I deep dived and realized that I had panicked for no reason. I had posted twice as many weblog stories, picked up couple of on-line courses, read three times as many books, network with 5x more people and presently writing a new story. Am I suffering from self-doubt! Am I scattered and seeing Ghosts! Bumbled or fumbled but in the end…I felt relieved.
It’s so weird how we suddenly dig up the advice we need at the exact moment we need it.! Interestingly, my brain’s anatomical connectivity no longer sympathizes with anything that leads to the idea of –”I’m lazy”! It is riveted to the belief that‘I am working when I am not working‘!
If I were you, I would rather fancy these vibes not as something cold and crippling but a queer sign of revolt from a worn-out body crying for a break.
When you notice the truth behind your laziness, it’s possible to take a lesson or two to your advantage. It took me years altogether to learn that we are at work when we are doing the dishes, having a shower or tidying up the garden. These idle chores help to connect our hardwired brain to rewarding tasks that are on our to-do list. In fact, when we laze, our body betters all inputs while everything else is on hold.
Laziness is perhaps one sin you need most to make a better sense of the world. Trust me, if your lack of laziness causes your impending meltdown, Gods are not coming to save you.
At first sight it may seem to banish us from living successfully or from thinking in any way well of ourselves. But at close quarters things look brighter and shining. If the point of ‘doing nothing’ is to clean up our heart of hearts wouldn’t it be right to get down to the business of lolling?
After all, the threat to our happiness lies not in our failure to be busy, but in our inabilityto be “lazy” enough. A heroically hardworking person isn’t necessarily the one, who sits in the business lounge of an International airport; it might be the person who gazes out of the window and occasionally writes down an idea or two on a piece of paper.
Do what you have to do for laziness is not a lie
If you have a smartphone, which obviously like everybody else you do, it’s most likely that you have often struggled with the idea of “shutting down” after work. As you sit idle or perhaps watch a movie or listen to a podcast; a voice at the back of your mind keeps telling you that instead of being lazy, you ought to be on your phone cleaning out the inbox or readying yourself for tomorrow’s meeting.
Image source: ‘Laziness leads to happiness’ in mashupcorner.com on Sep. 01, 2021.
Believe me, your inability to stop working, or even the inability to do so without guilt, harms your enterprise more than your resolve to stay upbeat. If you truly are a sworn work horse, then you need to learn how to be lazy for this is all about efficiency and none of us is inherently lazy.
In fact, the challenge to this frailty lies with the guilt that overrides it. There is so much happening around us every day, so many excitements, regrets, suggestions and emotions. Are we not letting the marrow of life escape us? Is there nothing smart enough to reign it in?
You need not dig deep to find the answer!
Whenever you get lazy and desire for an intensely-felt life clean of all ruckus, sit back and imagine that a deep part of you is hustling to cook-up a big thought. Make no haste; though you run the risk of being accused of gross laziness! Plan your laze interlude in advance. When you schedule it you would know the duration of your subconscious shame for having done nothing. Complete your errands beforehand and it will inwardly feel good.
Consider making a day of your indolence and get cracking instead of freaking out. Get lazy on a regular basis and you will find out why not falling shy of it makes a heap of difference. Your mind is all stoked and will help you get out of the weeds; fix the broken ideas and mend your missing control.
For a productivity guy, you’ve become a sloth bear. But what the heck… don’t fret. Simply prioritize, no overtime and you will get the most done in shortest possible time!
Laziness is your free wellness tool with zero guilt
Haven’t you heard less is more?
Image source: ‘It’s Good to Be Lazy’ by Atulhost in atulhost.com on May 26, 2019.
There is a creative side to all of us. When we are lazy we get plenty of time to toy and tinker within us. Getting cheered for being a busy-bee is a burden now. People do not want to hear about how busy your life is. Besides, you miss out on your friends. You are never in a mood to head out on a Saturday night or burn yourself a little on a weekend run.
Not that you are not left with enough time to rouse the clever and gifted person that you always were.
Simply side step for a moment and choose to be different for a while. You have just aced the art of living life the right way! And remember, if you howl and cry for long, are unable to keep the desk tidy, fail the assignments any other time than the night before the deadline or lament for having ruined so much time doing nothing; you could be the one with a giant IQ!
In fact being lazy is another way of being efficient.
I think lazy persons are onto something all the time! Go ahead, take that nap and shake off all the fears of going overboard. It’s better rather you chill with a cat than walk a dog.
You will always end up beaming!
And someday, your mind and body will thank you for it!!
Food alone won’t make you happy if you cannot live by yourself.
Generally the word ’healthy’ and ‘revenge food’ don’t share space together. A late night ‘Jack in the box’ run or a quick cheeseburger on a road trip, each could hurt you if you cannot stay away from super-sized value options or settle for anything that is fast and easy, only because you are hurt bad and are on a trip to avenge blindfolded!!
But whatever you figure out to straighten things up, do keep an eye out for a food with plenty of nutritional value. Revenge or otherwise, you would do well to love being a winner in anger!
A romance with retribution is always bittersweet. It drives crime unashamedly; statistics say, up to 20% of homicides and 60% of random fatal killings!! And what more it shapes politics too. Even President Trump’s rush to Oval was nothing short of ‘revenge of working class”; those who felt cheated and abandoned had set the choice as an unforgiving sentiment.
Many of us would believe that vengeance against who have wronged us, is the only right choice to even out and the best way to avenge. In the heat of the moment it might feel relieving. This in fact is a powerful all pervasive emotion to get angry and wanting to hurt somebody who has harmed you. Have no doubts; the urge to avenge is all spiraling, reckless and self-inflicting. But then there is yet another one reason to celebrate its onset.
Post break up of revenge bout, the resulting lack of appetite will leave you slim n gorgeous in no time!! Who said I don’t care! A fitter, hotter, healthier and stunning you could make even your ex regret the heartache he caused you.
Revenge diet is not only about being depressed and ignoring food, all because of a weak or failing appetite. It merely adds to your woes. Revenge can never be your driving force and can never lead to anything worthwhile. On the contrary, it would make you look pale, weak and wasted. But the other side of the dime would nudge you to move on and be theeager beaveryou had always wanted to be. So, be the live wire and give yourself some credit if you are a belly watcher and following a crash diet. Just don’t let that other person get away with all the credits. Love the break in the clouds and swap your anger with a pirated but healthy diet. After all, a revengicidal you is at best a vengeful jihadi on a crash diet. If you are on little Caesars diet, the ‘positive’ side of a revenge diet will walk you to losing weight in style.
But remember if you have chosen ‘squirrel‘s diet’ just to make your ex jealous or uncomfortable to those who annoy you, the spite might be short lived and end once you have moved on. Close on heels will be your diet plan that would just go for a toss. If revenge was the sole motive you may gain more than you have lost! So stay positive and shed those extra kilos just for yourself. Nothing matters to anybody, once you or they move on even if you look a lot sexier after having lost weight. So who are you losing your weight for? Who could be your better audience than you yourself? Go for treks, cycle, do yoga or simply meditate. And you are on your way to a healthier, slim looks. Just make sure that once out for revenge, the romance with anger stays positive for you and diet itself remains healthy. Depressed people usually tend to lose interest in food and shed weight in an unhealthy way that messes the scale once out of revenge. So if you are out for revenge and wish to fume with anguish and anger in a useful way without getting mired in vindictive rations, try on these foodstuff and overcome your spiteful frenzy without hurting yourself. Some of these are better served cold. Here are 10 of them to cheer up with and enjoy while crushing your enemies, etc., etc.
The lies we tell ourselves about revenge food: It’s healthy, it’s delicious!
“You would never give your child a can of beer but you don’t think twice about giving them a can of soda.” Dr. Robert Lustig .
Forgive those who have wronged you for they say this is good for your overall wellbeing! Who’re you kidding? How could you move on tied to some good, old-fashioned, intricately plotted revenge, served ice cold? This reminds me –some of your favorite food is best served cold! From screamin’ Sicilian Pizza to Bessie’s Revenge Cheese to spaghetti Bolognese, and from gazpacho to an icy martini, each favorite awaits to be eaten with a chilly disposition. Remember eating exotic is never considered a funeral food.
Ice cream sandwich
This one calls for baking one giant cookie. Try hard not to forget your revenge when you bake a giant cookie. Nothing would be more thrilling than eating a giant cookie in front of those who’ve wronged you, and not offering them a bite. No morsel would be just brutal and befitting.
Cucumber Soup with Mint, Watercress, and Feta Cheese
Fuming and feeling hot under the collar? Try this soup and feel your anger piping down to find you cool as a cucumber in a jiffy. Your luv for Feta though has just turned a tight corner! This is certainly not a recipe for weight loss, though it looks like one.
Image source: ‘Chilled cucumber dill mint soup with feta and red onion’ by Chef Andreia in dontask4rsalt. com
Time for a Regina George truly evil badass moment!!
Olive Oil Ice cream
Wondering if this frozen dessert is any good! “If it tastes really awesome?’ The answer is yes. It tastes as good as the aftermath of retribution!! What won’t taste good though is if you also push some sautéed onions and garlic in it and try it in a chocolate dipped waffle cone, sprinkled with cinnamon dust.
For the fun of it maybe you could just let that thought marinate with you for a while. The mirthful satisfaction of avenging silently is so brazenly gratifying that your stormy mood will find peace even if it is short lived. Choose a light-bodied fruity olive oil over its heavy peppery cousin and you will fall in love with the olive oil gelato, Great flavor and texture!! You just afford to miss the works.
Raspberry and Aperol Floats
This frozen delight will make you shut out all the insanity and ills for a while. And so would Aperol, that Italian bitter aperitif with a vibrant orange hue made of gentian, rhubarb, and cinchona, among other things. But what if you took your first sip of what seemed like some great creamy vanilla ice cream float, and instead you get to jab a straw into a monstrous frozen orb of ice? Call it a disaster that would be the worst, correct; the absolute worst. This edgy creamsicle, bittersweetly balanced and boasting of a crown of coral foam, is somewhat akin to Campari but is less boozy. Try it, you may end up admiring it for all the things gone wrong here!
Ajoblanco
A popular Spanish cold soup made of bread, crushed almonds, garlic, water, olive oil, salt and sometimes vinegar and usually served with grapes or slices of melon is essentially a more delectable version of white gazpacho. Traditionally made with green grapes the recipe is brightened up by adding green apple. It however, does little to your soothe your stormy mood as you dig in.
Feature credit:’ Ajoblanco- Spanish Garlic Soup Recipe’ by Happy Foods Tube in youtube.com on Aug 31, 2013.
The velvety texture is what makes it luscious for slurping, and atrocious to clean out of your favorite shirt!!
Watermelon Gazpacho
It’s pretty hard to be pathetic and be in a woeful mood when eating this bright pink, creamy and sweet soup—but this dish is exactly the kind of recipe that you could try for a perfect revenge food!
Feature credits: ‘ Watermelon Gazpacho’ by Currytrail in you tube.com on Jun. 19, 2019.
Light and refreshing, Watermelon Gazpacho is healthy, low fat and very easy to digest, sweet and spicy in taste. Perfect as a cold summer soup, Gazpacho is much like its tomatoey version but has a blend of watermelon, cucumber, bell pepper and tomato.
When you rake up gazpacho regularly, this soup improves overnight as the flavors get a chance to blend. It’s perfect for a light meal on a hot day. You can easily make a large batch and enjoy it for days!
Potato Salad with Pickles and Dill
Image source: ‘Dill pickle potato salad’ by Sue in theeviewfromgreatisland.com .
Creamy and chunky, this potato salad with pickles and eggs, tossed with creamy dilldressing is a perfect side dish for your summer rush for revenge foods. This is one of those foods which could give you some inspiration for a perfectly delicious revenge diet. So simple yet dreamily cruel, this is a different and delicious take on a not-so-traditional potato salad. If you are a dill pickle lover, this is the right revenge salad for you. Swap out the mayonnaise for low-fat mayo when you want this saladto be full of crunchy, dill pickle goodness!
If you find it hard to eat, try inviting yourself to this not-so-delicious call. “Hey, let’s just call it water under the bridge; let’s try some delicious potato salad!” in an apparent attempt to bury the hatchet all within you. The stellar tang of fresh dill, sweet celery and pungent red onions that beckons you is always a flavorful way to troll yourself with a pop of flavors!!
Cakes and bakes: There’s a sweeter way to avenge
And it’s not always sugar’s fault. Indulge in those beer and wine blended cupcakes or stuff yourself with custard filled tarts, take a trip to a bar to create your own unique combination of frosties or rush out to your vacations with pies that could travel in a jar!; you just couldn’t blame that little bright crystals of sweetness, each time you couldn’t pull off your revenge! Try passing on a sweet revenge on someone else then.
People say bizarrely mean things that could make anybody go really mad. And if you happen to be the fuming victim, it’s time for some of these so-called trolls to get a taste of their own medicine. So how does it work? Begin by tracking down the physical location of the offensive person via the IP address. Whip up a retaliatory mini cake with said comment decorated in icing or edible letters. Box it and send to the person who wrote the vile comment, with a copy of the comment taped to the inside of the box. Trust me, nothing feels better to identify the tweet that spoke ill of you and tried to trump you as being the most insane person and then slam it in your own unique way. It’s heartwarming to name and shame the guilty. The shaming mini-cake in fact works almost like having a little parachute of sanity. Your greatest satisfaction will be just how weirdly awkward and embarrassing it gets for the wrong-doer. It works in no less the same way as a sweet savory recipe!
Still not convinced!! If you cannot avenge then take revenge on yourself. Pretty Italian cakes for instance make for a delicious revenge diet. Try cassata—a traditional Sicilian cake that uses sponge cake, sweetened ricotta, chocolate bits and candied fruit draped with a bright green marzipan fondant. The taste however is rather ‘acquired’ and could leave you crest fallen, hungry and utterly dismayed. Pared-down version that blends all the familiar flavors—ricotta, dark chocolate, pound cake, almond liqueur and candied orange, is a better choice though. Then you are welcome to try horde of other delights. From moist dark chocolate cakes with layers of buttercream icing to tarts with vanilla layers soaked in sour cream, coconut syrup and whipped icing all wrapped in fresh coconut; these devil foods are atrociously tasty and await to incriminate you.
Pico de gallo
Image source: ‘Pico De Gallo Salsa Recipe’ by Teri Gilson in foodmeanderings.com on Ap. 28, 2021.
Pico de gallo or salsa fresca or salsa cruda, is a typical Mexican cuisine. Traditionally made from chopped tomato, onion, and serrano peppers, with salt, lime juice, and cilantro, Pico de gallo is used in much the same way as other Mexican liquid salsas.
Traditionally made with in-season, ripe, juicy tomatoes, if you wish to draw the strings harder for your sins, pull it together using hard, flavorless “winter whites,” you’re just asking for a bland, lackluster salsa. And this is one dish nobody would ever wish on his or her worst enemies…or is it? Call it food regret, food challenge or food jealousy, vengeance is always more satisfying when exacted in an unexpected way at an unexpected time. Wish you some luck!
Sushi
Image source: ‘Top 5 Places for Sushi on International Sushi Day in Kolkata’ by Madhushree Basu Roy in eazydiner.com on Jun. 18, 2019.
Elegant arrangement, enhanced simplicity and ethereal beauty is what turns Sushi into a work of genius. The preparation, shape, presentation and taste though somewhat differs from place to place representing tradition and characteristics so inherent to the locality. What more, the drama unfolds right before your eyes by the chef, and the enchantment that follows is simply irresistible. Traditionally sushi was prepared as pickled fish preserved in vinegar but nowadays it contains rice and is prep with sushi vinegar served with a white radish thinly peeled to a sheet like thingy and then julienned into fine strips. Few restaurants prefer to serve string Daikon(white radish) sans its spicy tangy taste.
Is it rude? How could you possibly draw blood for your offence if it’s none other than you? And especially when you don’t want to eat rushing with other things! My advice? Don’t feel offended, dine out alone and make sure that sushi is served with chili- all cold. Weird combo of food would simply overpower your sushi rush and might just as well ruin the evening for food being wildly off-theme. What a crass way to avenge yourself! You eat a lot or you simply couldn’t. Just one of the few things I can think of!
Let happiness find you!
I have never really understood what is meant by saying ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold’. Does it mean trying gazpacho? – a tomato soup that everyone likes hot, but is served chilled on purpose, to be a huge disappointment and a rude shocker; especially if you think you are a sensitive-toothed person.
And what about ‘Revenge being sweet’? Is it a revenge-gazpacho that needs sugar and the tomatoes are unripe – but just a pinch. Maybe revenge should never be themed desserty; it’s confusing enough dish as it is. And finally there’s that saying, “Revenge is a kind of wild justice”, Uh-Oh! No food-references here! But you might try some cured salty pork and plate it as a hearty, chilled, salty refreshing revenge-gazpacho. That’s just perfect for your pay back moments. Of course, there are ways to turn your food into a good healthy diet that will bounce you back to ‘freedom’ and lose weight happily! What do you care, if your revenge diet reeks of rebounds of sorts!
So sit back quietly, eat well, grieve if you must and carry on with losing flabs!!
Find out what bedevils your quest and learn how to get that twinkle-toed happiness back in your life.
We humans are complex life forms in a beautiful way. Put us in an intimate, passionate relationship and that seductive crush gets all hyped-up. We reckon awareness and acceptance as thumb prints and adore the quest for happiness, better still; most desirable. Perhaps spending more time with our kinds, getting a more fulfilling and secure job, or even improving our health is the reason we consider happiness a worthy pursuit. After all, being happy feels good. But do we build our lives on that reasoning alone?
Feature credits:’ Happiness with nature’ by Vigorswitch in youtube.com on Aug. 26, 2020.
Deep inside, we all treasure a fascinating tale of lifestyle and feelings, raring to be heard and appreciated. In fact, looking for an opportunity to engage and be recognized for that distinct wharf of ours, nourishes and strengthens us or at times weakens breaks or crushes us. Perhaps maximizing happiness is the only reason, we chase it. Still perceptions bump and make it so easy for us to get sad or depressed.
You think of yourself as a frightful and appalling person
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. You may wish for a better life; maybe much better of it. But it is not always perfect for you. Sufferings turn ugly once you mentally label them as a bad situation. The emotional trauma that follows cuts you off from the vigour of life. So, once you get mired neck deep in a miserly spot that sucks, your downhill spiral begins, howsoever much you shout to the World that you are perfect and the best.
This however, doesn’t mean that you throw your hands in the air and let that moment pass by when you could reach out and grab happiness. You can still be contented and happy. Just let go of that dreary thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accept yourself with utmost honesty the way you are and you will give others 10 reasons to envy you. Once the clouds of denial are gone, the magic of acceptance and contentment will unfold in your life. Just be the true rendition of self improvement and learn to love yourself.
You have sucked your soul out for long
I have a friend who never tires of talking and in most conversations he is the only one who seems to be interested in things he has to say. So, people tend to avoid his company and maybe he knows how uncomfortable sometimes it becomes. But I find him one happy person who has shaken himself awake and enthused his perspective from negative to positive outlook. Next day he could be found talking nineteen to the dozen in another gathering! I think he see the things in his life as a glass that is half full rather than half empty, and never miss out on moments that tend to make him happy.
Happy or otherwise, we all have choice as to how we spend our live. It’s our perspective that does the picking. Nothing changes for us unless we decide to take pleasure from life and live every moment as a blessing. We all know that our moods are fleeting and their causes uncertain but we also appreciate that a life spent experiencing happiness, is in some ways a good life. The concern though, is not what happiness means to you, but instead why it eluded you and how to get it.
We tend to see happiness as inconsistent to sadness or depression, suggesting that being happy means few woes and fewer regrets. If we remain contented to see the things in our life as a glass that is half empty, rather than half full, we tend to miss out on the opportunities that may be present around us. Not accepting challenges and considering them as bad consequences would never let you grow out of your miseries.
“Unhappy is he who depends on success to be happy,” Alex Dias Ribeiro.
As successful as you are or hope to be in your life and work, be sure that you will find happiness only in things that are deeply ordinary; enjoying a walk or a conversation with a loved one or plucking turnips and tomatoes from kitchen garden. For few who worship hard work or strive to outperform, this may sound like an admission of defeat. But accepting things as they happen and facing challenges head on makes you find meaning in them and move forward. So, get interested; it’s time you started living with gusto and made the most of today.
“Today is life– the only life you are sure of”.-Dale Carnegie.
You are yet to open up your mind and heart to life
Lately you have been torn up in your mind and heart. You have been questioning yourself quite uncomfortably. “Am I ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore others when in company?”
Lending ears to comments and criticisms and not treating them with rejoinders like, “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” opens up our minds and hearts for good. It’s not how much we have in us but how much we appreciate for having it with us, rules our general state of happiness. After all life is made up of some great experiences and is a gift in our hands to nimble-toe through. Trust me; it makes the best out of inevitable for us. Each day shapes us and helps us to grow and change. So, get along, chose to be happy and live through every moment of life with grace and gratitude.
You are evasive to your ‘present’
The desire to be happy is instinctive to human nature, though it flirts and fleets. Naturally evasive, happiness is not a bad thing any more than a wine is. Both bring fun and sweetness to life when positive events like winning a lottery, promotions or even something as little as a gift from someone close to your heart, ring sweet bells in your heart or goose bumps all over.
Like it or not, being “present” for every moment shapes happiness for you. Your present is the moment where all reality is. The past is gone, the future is yet to arrive and the present is passing by. So, focus on living in and celebrating the present to the full. Live every moment of life as a blessing and you will have the greatest opportunity to experience happiness.
“When we are present and still and our minds are open, we will find that happiness is our natural state.”-Dr. Robert Puff.
The world doesn’t fall apart, every time you get hit!!
While many for us would be relieved and happy to have survived the pandemic in 2021, for others the global scourge may have caused stress meltdown and severe sufferings. The world for them would have felt like it’s upside down—literally.
We all know that anguish is an inevitable consequence of being alive. But if minimizing distress can bring happiness, it gets important to get hold of your emotional health. At least, if you can’t control it, you will always have the control over how to guard it!
Everyone experiences situations gone wrong one time or the other, but not everyone treats it in the same way. Of course, feeling stressed out sucks. It leaves you with two choices—let it suffocate you or bring the change and rewrite a new story. Remember life is a rollercoaster ride and stress will happen. So, master your sanity and good sense to ride through it. Feeling overwhelmed already? It’s time you did some soul searching and refashioned your perspective. Here are five ways to know if you do overreact to all that happens around you and wouldn’t allow yourself to manage a happy disposition.
Happiness has many faces
Our past uncannily keeps us tied down in turmoil and sadness; we are wired like that. Negativity rules over us and at times it hurts, even when you get moments of happiness in between. No denying; if you experience it, you are hanging on to the grudges and resentment of the past and could not get rid of them. Or maybe you have come up against different kinds of happiness, which do not always go together. Having too much of happiness of one sort could spoil your ability to have enough space for other. For instance, you could be butting heads how to balance career and family all together and in turn could be equally unhappy in both lives. This could be significantly damaging to yourself and those around you.
Empathy is one buzzword though, that could help. As Sadhguru puts it, “walk away from your past wiser, not wounded”. A dire need for approval in the past has left you vulnerable and your fragile self esteem is weighed down. Your chances of experiencing happiness have vanished. So, declutter your past conflicts. Stay motivated and enjoy the life to the fullest; no matter what happens-good or bad. Help yourself to grow and change and chose to be happy. Of course, you cannot forget or wipe out your gloomy past but those very crises best increase your chances of success in pursuit to happiness.
‘Happiness addict’ prefer being special over being successful
In short, keep moving with life and see it as a blessing than be damned. Enjoy it and have a whale of a time while you can. Unfortunate things happen sometimes, but so do some great things. Try not to react much to whatever is happening around you. Don’t grind yourself and be serious about how others sleep on it. You are just not being authentic or legit. Even to put on a show could ruin your chances to be happy. Live life like an adventure, Explore and plan it the way you want to. Sometimes you may even need to laugh at yourself.
Feature credits: ‘Relax with the beauty of nature’ by the Whole Happy Life in youtube.com on Mar.21,2020.
So smile as much as you can, laugh often, hang out with mates and above all just try not to be fussy or play ducks and drakes. Make the best of what you have and keep growing.
“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive”-Elbert Hubbard
Image source: ‘5 Reasons Why Feeling Happy Depends on Your Viewpoint’ by Sally Stanleigh in bia.ca on Dec. 10, 2020.
That morning I woke up early. It was dark outside. The morning silence lay heavy. Crickets had stopped chirping and it was too early for the cock’s to cry out. Bleary eyed I peered closely at the bedside clock. It was 4.30 am. The weather already smelled of yet another hot summer day of May.
And then a fluttering noise startled me out of slumber! I propped up on the bed and strained to look for the source. There perching on the window sill and prancing around was my sweet little ‘angel’-cuckoo.
For a moment, I sat spellbound. It’s been almost a year since I last saw her in my courtyard frantically trying to troop in her two chicks, barely a month old; too agile to sit around, but too fragile to take care of themselves of their own. A flurry of thoughts woke me up nice and good. Outside the sky was beginning to pale as darkness slowly melted away.
Chores over, I sat in the veranda with a cup of tea in hand and wistfully gazed at the bird still perched atop the tree in the courtyard.
This time she was all alone!
Feature credits: Taryn Elliot in Pexels.com
Somehow she reminded me of my mom, hard gritty and courageous, always ready to face the world squarely. Vivid memories of life with her are as fresh as morning dew even today . She would often tell us that every man is a jack around you and won’t be in two minds to deluge you with advices on how to get the most of this world. But all this will be worthless if you do not respect your curiosity and give a patient listening to your gut instinct. Nine out of ten times people will laugh at you more to make you cringe with helplessness and feel small for it helps them to assume privileged and great. Simply put, these people cannot muster enough courage to get what they want out of life.
It’s only years later after she is gone that I realize what she had meant then . The moment you let others stop you from pursuing your dreams, is the moment to say goodbye to them. Wish I had given an earful to what else she had to say at that time.
Much like the bird on the tree , she raised her siblings and bid everybody farewell when the time came. Its only after so many years that I could share a few more facts of life with you I wish I had accepted sooner. Everything would have been so easy!!
I agreed to approve of myself the way I was!
Image source: ‘Want to Enjoy Life? Don’t ‘Do What Makes You Happy” by Wanda Thibodeaux in inc.com
Whenever we are in a dark space emotionally, we naturally pick up a fight with ourselves and damn us for not being in control of things. Everything seems to spiral out of control and the more we push ourselves to straighten things up, the worse they become. On the contrary, when we feel okay and alive and kicking, we are more inclined to accept ourselves and appreciate the wonderful little things that life has given us and how terrific our body rewards us.
This made me realize that being successful is not about getting it done all the time. Its about getting right things done. Its about doing less but better. For once, I decided to befriend myself and felt proud of my achievements, no matter how tiny they were .
Essentially my perception of doing right things the right way changed all by itself. I just worked hard on bettering myself.
From moron to self indulgent: I found the impunity comforting!
Whether it is taking a long bath, scheduling morning leisure walks, following a regular sleep pattern or something as trivial as putting on a face mask, shaving or trimming the beard, or even watching our favorite movie, anything that we do to look good and feel good puts us on the right path; so’s how she would counsel me often in quieter moments, though she was always quick to add that self care meant differently to different people.
Feature credits: ; ‘ iStock’ by Getty images
The point that I gathered, is that once we take some active time out for ourselves, our journey to a meaningful day begins right then and there from that very moment.
I figured out my boundaries!
When we draw our boundaries, we actually define our needs and what others around us expect from us. I took time off to do a bit of soul searching. I found my circle , enlivened it and realized that pouring too much energy into other’s affairs was not fixing things for me. It’s only then I figured out that I actually needed to love myself a bit more than the others.
Left with enough time and energy, I felt less resentful and angry with myself for situations gone awry and happier with what was left with me.
Thought sharing never felt so bewitching!
For me the folly of one track idea of thought sharing slowly changed hands from a deceitful obsession to a vent to pour out my disquiet. I realized that once I dropped my guards and stop bothering myself with revved up emotions, things began to smoothen out and happen the way I wanted them to happen in the first place.
Feature credits: ; ‘ iStock’ by Getty images
Contemplating and doing nothing always weigh heavily on us. I raked up courage for once, voiced my thoughts strongly, stopped weathering and revealed myself. Amazingly life thereafter took a turn from inept to pleasant and fulfilling. Talking about what is bothering or upsetting you always vents your repressed emotions, soothes your stretched nerves and leaves more space to do better things.
I learned to talk turkey and bump heads
When replying to text messages, attending calls, meeting friends and family and buzzing through social media does not feel like a huge task, its time to ring the bells. This is one tell tale sign that your mental space has convalesced for good. So, if you do not cancel plans last minute and actually enjoy being in touch with friends, you are definitely over the fence and no longer a fly in the ointment! Stay connected and feel that dismay no longer rattling you. Awesome miracles will begin to change your day.
“Remember it is you who alone can decide who you are not once but every time with every action that you take, every principle you value and every rule you follow.”
Feature credits: ‘iStock’ by Getty images.
I must have dozed off for sure for I woke up with a start! Somebody had rung the doorbell. The empty cup lay beside the chair. The sun had climbed over the horizon and the day was warming up. Instinctively, I looked out for the little bird. She was gone like a summer breeze; may be never to be seen again.
Days later as I pen these lines, I envy that little songbird. Her resolute flight from nowhere to my courtyard had unnerved me for a while. and reminded me of purposefulness and determination that I had vowed to myself but over the time had pushed into a corner. It reminisced me of all that I learned from Maa while trudging along the way holding her hands swaying from side to side as I grew up.
It gave me a cue to do a bit of soul searching and brawn to rewrite what had begun to fade out. I am also now wary of the pride that comes before the fall.
Thank you from my soul maa#The Mothers Day, for bearing me, rearing me and helping me to grow up to be the one I am now!!
He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark. –J.K. Rowling
It’s no longer simply food and drink sold in a public place, market or street! From a full time vegan to a diehard steak lover whatever you choose, you could find a whole range of eats that is full of good stuff and savory surprises- all natural with no added this, no added that.
All from a humble street side Hakka noodles loaded with crunchy veggies toBad Brownies and Other Sidefried chicken burgers toTrufflemeatless burgers, the street foods never aced better and bigger.
It’s good to be Happy, Healthy and Hungry!
Fine! So you have decided to live a healthier lifestyle and gradually changing your ways- going to gym every other day and making healthy meal for yourself. You are determined to hold on to this change as long as possible and not think of it as a mere fad. But then sometimes not everything works out the way you want to. You may have chosen to eat at home rather than dine out with friends but then a situation has arisen and you couldn’t make it either way. You had always wanted to be sure of what you eat. You feel that you have had enough of recipes from internet and would want to try something new and exciting. And guess what! Street side eateries come for your rescue. Appropriate to the kind of lifestyle you have chosen for yourself, you would want a taste of spices and flavors and meals without any guilt pangs. Street foods offer you choices straight from an epicurean paradise that are satiating and are actually healthy.
Feature credits:’13 Desserts from Around the World! | Popular Desserts and Frozen Sweets’ by So Yummy in youtube.com on Ap.27, 2019.
From mouth watering vegan Indian and Thai street foods, to Jamaican Jerks and American burgers, the recipe roll is enormous and sure could give you an unforgettable taste of spices, herbs and flavors. There are plenty of vegan low-calorie, keto, gluten-free street food dinners, as well as side dishes and snacks. Whether you’re vegan, plant-based or just trying to cut down on meat, street foods are just for you! From vegan burgers, hot dogs to a vegan lobster roll, the mildly seasoned, delicately spiced street foods are quick, easy and burst with flavors once in your mouth.
You can begin your gourmet journey by trying these ten tastiest street foods that are vegan, plant based and health some.
Tofu with spicy garlic prune sauce
Image source: ‘Asian tofu hashtag ‘ on twitter by Veg vegan meat on Jul 20, 2020.
A perfect vegan alternative to BBQ, the pan-fried Asian Tofu with spicy garlic sauce is quick, easy and packed with flavor! It’s a great midday eat and tastes heavens when paired with a Chinese sauce that’s sweet, spicy, salty and savory, all at the same time. Tofu is a great source of protein and contains all nine essential amino acids, iron and calcium…so great for your bones, teeth and blood. It is marinated in sweet spicy garlic sauce and once it has soaked up the sauce, then pan fried till crispy on the outside and soft inside. Prune juice gives a deep caramelly sweetness and works as marinade. Perfect with rice and stir fried green, it tastes exquisite.
Lentil Fritters
Image source: ‘Recipes from around the world: Bhajias (Lentil Fritters)’ by Ben Hinson in recipesaroundtheworld.com on Jam. 23, 2016.
Tasty and delicious these vegan version of Takoyaki balls, are soft, deep fried fritters made out of split green gram flour and topped with spicy green mint chutney and shredded radish, melt in your mouth with a spicy, tangy aftertaste. A sprinkle of some lemon juice and this combo will leave you wanting more. Insanely crispy and crunchy these fried lentil (dal) fritters make for a mouthwatering savory snack. Tamarind chutney evens out the spiciness of green chutney and pungency of radish. So don’t forget to have it added to your plate.
Vegan Corn Dogs
Image source: ‘Vegan Corn Dogs’ in vegannook.com.
These vegan corn dogs have no sausages or imitation soy meat in them. Covered in a maize-flour batter, fried and then served on a stick these gluten free corn dogs use a meat-free hot dog, or if you prefer-a roasted carrot. Yet another healthy version of two classic street foods, cornbread and vegan hot dogs, pair in to create the ultimate fun food you would love to eat and feel good. Soft, fluffy corn bread and delicious hotdogs make for a satisfying snack or side for your next nosh rush!
Vegan Korean Cauliflower Wings
Feature credits: ‘Korean Fried Cauliflower’ by Jeramie Go in youtube.com on Ap.5, 2021.
Korean-style cauliflower wings, battered and drenched in a spicy, tangy glaze gochujang maple glaze and baked until caramelized, could make you forget the mushy vegetable that finds it way so often to your platter at home. You could have mock chicken version to make it vegan but cauliflower is a finger-licking good substitute for meat. Once baked or roasted, it gets a meat like texture that’s really enjoyable. This dish is also a visual treat, thanks to the vibrant red pepper sauce and cooling cucumber yogurt dip.
Sweet Potato
Image source: ‘Double Baked Sweet Potatoes ‘ in macheesmo.com on Sep.25, 2019.
Steamed or roasted and cubed this tuber when served hot with a generous sprinkle of chaat masala( snack spice) a dash of lime and a bit of star fruit for that extra tang, works as a high energy booster and is one good relief for those whogo-to-street snack everyday and those who worry about thebelly before the bite.
This popular tangy and savory street food is a guilt-free alternative to fried foods. Lengths of tubers are roasted on embers and then the smoky cubes are tossed in a special blend of ‘spices’ and tamarind chutney.
Interestingly, this sweet tasting root vegetable is now a millennial food obsession. Just one serving of this roasted potato could deliver a whopping 400% of daily vitamin A quota; essential for both eye and cardiac health. What more… despite its starchy rep, sweet potato is the new diabetic super food, thanks to its low-glycemic index .
Momos
Images source: ‘ Friends Of Pho In Kolkata Makes Colourful, Highly Exotic Dimsums That You Won’t Find Elsewhere’ by Suchismita Pal in curlytales.com
When it comes to street food, how could anyone miss out on such an essential dish? It’s surprising how something so small can be so filling! Momos are so exquisite that this food has turned synonymous with students to shoppers, to corporate workers. As street food banter goes, you won’t find a better hot steamed goodness that knocks up different versions all the time. From fried to tandoori and chicken to paneer, you get all kinds to satiate your craving for a hot plate of delicious food.
Pretty easy to make vegan; ask for those with veggies inside, or a mock-meat if you’re looking for a recreated meat dumpling. Served alongside some vegan-friendly soy sauce this is one go to dish for brunches and afternoon grub rush!
Som tam ( Papaya Salad)
Image source: ‘Supatra’s Green Papaya Salad Recipe (Som Tam Thai)’ in templeofthai.com.
A delicious Thai salad, Som Tam is a green papaya salad that combines all four tastes – sour, chili, sweet and salty. A healthy and tasty treat for brunch, lunch or a casual light dinner, this dish is all about sliced sour fruits, veggies like green papaya and tomatoes and other ingredients as lime, palm sugar, chili, garlic, dried shrimps, fried peanuts etc. which are all pounded together in a mortar and unleash an explosive blend of flavors once in your mouth. Yard-long beans, hog plums, eggplant, and the dish’s star ingredient unripe, shredded green papaya, all combine to create a celebration of contrasting flavors and textures. Delivering carotenoids three times the amount of tomatoes and carrots, this dish, lowers the risk of macular degeneration, is anti-inflammatory and anti-tumor and effectively lowers cholesterol levels.
Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup)
Image source: ‘Beyond Phở : 5 Other Irresistible Vietnamese Noodle Soups’ by Viet Doan in delishably.com on Feb. 6, 2020.
If you have no more 20 minutes for a quick bite, your best bet lies with this ‘bowl of medicine’. Experience the magic of this noodle soup where broth is everything. It’s light full of flavor, deceptively beefy, savory, complex, has a delicate richness and is filled with a dense aroma of spices like cinnamon, star anise and cardamom. The fragrant broth is fortified with vermicelli rice noodles, strips of lean beef or chicken or mock meat, crunchy bean sprouts, and topped with heaps of greens like basil and coriander. The soup is utterly addictive and every spoonful leaves you wanting more! A storehouse of essential amino acids and minerals, this is one wholesome dish that is anti inflammatory and helps in building up a healthy gut.
Jamaican jerk tofu skewers (vegan)
Feature credits: ‘Sweet & Spicy Jamaican Jerk Tofu Rice Bowls’ by Tasty in youtube.com on Jan.7,2020.
Experience the tropical flavors of the Caribbean with spicy, flavorsome jerk seasoned and fruity, sausage-laden skewers served with rich and creamy coconut rice, if you fancy food that doesn’t have meat, but is a brilliant alternative that can satisfy your taste buds. This street food isn’t really about heat- it’s about creating a delicious combination of organic vegetables and eye smarting spices. Allspice, cinnamon, thyme, onion and garlic all come together to make a tasty yet easy marinade for the tofu. With tossed veggies on the side, these skewers taste great and are ready in 15 minutes flat. Grilled on the barbecue, grill pan, pan fry or bake, this easy vegan dish is a great way to your round off your snacking rush!
From Chops to Chows: The delicious fun comes wrapped in health and happiness!
Are you on a diet regimen? Or maybe you are a buff person! Whatever…your bid to have a flavorsome, exciting and healthier lifestyle should not be foiled just because you could binge on the limited food options available for you? You should be creative enough to come up with healthier menus, and street foods are an excellent option for you. There are a lot of healthy street foods which you can try and which won’t wreck your fitness when you bite into them. Think about this next time you rush out of your home without a scrumptious breakfast, or your Office when you have no more than 20 minutes for a quick grub for lunch or your college when your canteen menu despairs you. For sure, you’ll be able to find more dishes on the street that fit to your healthy lifestyle!
Sounds strange? But trust me, this food works! Just dig into an inspired salad or side and experience layers of delight and happiness on your plate!!
If you are wondering how to bring zing to your plate in 20 minutes with something that is thick and flavorful, is packed full of goodness and is free of heavy animal products, delicious vegan curries could be the right choice for tonight’s menu. If you’re counting on calories, these guilt-free curries all come under 400 calories and still pack flavors. So put down that take-away menu and try one of these low-calorie protein rich curries instead. Vegetarian and low on spice these incredible curries will leave you bewitched!!
It’s hard to believe but curries could actually be good for your wellbeing. From easing arthritis to protecting from Alzheimer, the list is surprisingly overwhelming. If you look at the medicinal effects of spices that go into curry making; turmeric, cumin, allspice, cardamom, ginger, garlic and capsicum all are fired with strong anti-bacterial properties. Working as good preservatives garlic, cinnamon and cumin could even get rid of 80 percent of meat borne bacteria while ginger slows down bacterial growth by as much as 25 percent.
So what’s there that make vegan curries so good when it comes to minding your health. Why are these respected as an all time pepped up feast that never falls flat?
Let’s find out;
Ginger
One of the main ingredients in a lip smacking vegan curry, ginger contains antioxidant zingerone that reacts with radicals which cause tissue damage and joint inflammation, Works well to relieve the arthritis pain! The other two antioxidants viz. gingerol and shogaolare traditional cold remedies and works best when consumed as raw ginger extract.
Curcumin
This is a primary active compound of turmeric found in curry powders, and often used neat, it slows down the plaque formation in the brain, the primary cause of Alzheimer. Strong on anti inflammatory properties it pairs well with GI tract, guards against heart attacks and prevents cancer of the colon.
Onions
Onions contain an agent called diallyl sulfidethat encourages the body to make more of the cancer-fighting molecule glutathione-S-transferase. These enzymes work to detoxify the harmful stomach bacteria and promote digestion.
Garlic
Besides helping in lowering cholesterol, garlic also contains a potent anti-cancer agent called Allicin that shields stomach from cancer by pushing the production of protective enzymes.
Cumin
Cumin contains phytochemicals that combine with vitamins and other nutrients in food to prevent cancer and heart ailments by blocking various metabolic pathways. Caraveland Limonene, two major anti carcinogen agents retard the growth of prostate cancer.
Allspice
Allspice also known as Kabab Chinni is a berry-based spice used in a lot of Indian cooking and contains eugenol, an antioxidant that builds up trypsina digestive enzyme and so are all friends to GI tract.
Capsicum
Capsicum the main phytochemical found in red peppers is an anti inflammatory agent which helps reduce cholesterol formation and also a major constituent in topical formulations for arthritis relief. Eating it raw though doesn’t always work the same way.
Cardamom
A strong antiseptic and antimicrobial spice, cardamom comes in seeds, is a mild aphrodisiac and helps in soothing an irritable intestinal tract.
Coriander
Considered a strong anti-inflammatory agent this spice is capable of reducing symptoms of inflammatory GI tract diseases.
These one-pot curries know how to pep up your menu!
More often coming in bright golden hue and complex flavors, curry is an amazing choice for so many reasons. It warms you up, make you feel full and adds some zing to your plate. And there is a bonus too! It’s quite healthy and wholesome. Scoring big over Paleo recipes, curries could probably win you over if vegan diets become more your thing. Yep, there are whole lots of plant based curries that are easy to make and quickly leave the cooker. Just one pot or pan and flat 30 minutes could whip up flavors that may leave you looking for more!
If the thought of ethnic food stirs you up and if the idea of stepping out of the box no longer intimidates you; its time you tried a perfect Indian curry dish. If you have experienced Indian food, you know just how delicious a vegetarian dish could be! If you haven’t, curry is the perfect recipe to start with at home. Yeah! And if you do Meatless Mondays, this could work up a terrific fare. It is so healthy and there are so many vegetarian variations you could do with it; just about any veggie works well.
Here are 12 crazy delicious vegan curries to tickle your fancy and tempt you to fix some space for one of these on tonight’s dinner table !
Red Lentil ( Masoor dal) Curry
Image source: ‘Healthy Low-Sodium Red Lentil Curry’ by Susan Edelman in onegreenplanet.org.
No one wants to spend the evening washing a pile of dirty dishes. No worries!! You can cook this curry in only one pot. Even better, you can have this flavorful curry on the table in less than 30 minutes. I can’t think of a better way to eat dinner than this quick, healthy, and delicious one-pot curried lentil recipe!
With 126 calories per serving of 1 cup (100 grams), this curry has 6.2grams of protein, 4.2 grams of fats, 416 mg. of sodium, 15.9grams of carbs, vitamin A and C, fatty acids, amino acids, 28 mg calcium and 1.9 mg of iron.
Pigeon pea Curry
Image source: Cumin-Scented Pigeon Peas with Mango (Mango Curry with Toor Dal)’ in tastespace.wordpress.com on April 21, 2012.
Pigeon pea( Dal in Hindi) is easily known and referred to as split pulse (lentils, beans or peas). This curry bets on yellow peas, blending alongside the flavors of cumin, mustard, onion, chilies and fresh ginger. A brilliant go-to dinner recipe on lazy, gray days, this curry is cheap, healthy, flavorful and heavy on protein and goes easy on fat. Complete with exotic flavors a bowl of this warm filling curry tastes amazing and is good enough to become your daily staple food. Each 100 grams serving contains 3.3 grams of fat, 16.9 grams of carbs, 3 grams of fiber and 6.9 grams of protein, < 0.1 gram of salt and 439 mg of potassium. What more could you ask for?
Coconut Quinoa curry
Image source: ‘Vegetarian Green Coconut Curry with Quinoa’ by Kristen Stevens in foodandwine.com in Feb. 2014.
This recipe requires one pot only; your slow cooker. Just pitch in some sweet potatoes, broccoli, quinoa, chickpeas and coconut milk into your slow cooker along with some spices, and turn it on. Flat 30 minutes active time in kitchen and a delicious aromatic treat is ready!. Each 100 gram serve carries 140 calories, 4.00 grams of proteins, 5.70 grams of fat, 14.40 grams of carbs, 2.50 grams of fiber besides 2.90 grams of sugar and zero cholesterol.
Curried Quinoa with Butternut squash and Chickpeas
Image source: ‘Squash, Spinach & Chickpea Curry with Turmeric Blend’ by Lisa Turner in cleaneatingmag.com.
Butternut squash is a hearty and super healthy way to add some oomph to plant-based recipes like this one. It’s a perfect 25 minute star dish for weeknight dinner and great for getting rid of any veggies hanging around your fridge. Once done garnish the dish with fresh parsley and you’re good to go. Try this curry with rice and naan, though brown rice particularly tastes good with this curry. Each portion (245 grams serves 4) carries 236 calories, 36.5 grams of carb, 6.5 grams of protein, 8.2 grams of fat, 105 mg of calcium and 3 mg of iron besides 602 mg of sodium and 683 mg of potassium.
Coconut Chickpea curry
Image source: ‘Easy Chickpea Coconut curry soup’ in cearaskitchen.com on Jan.24, 2018.
This curry is one healthy source of fat that could leave you feeling full and satisfied. Throw in some chickpeas, coconut milk and fresh veggies and you’ve got a super healthy meal to tide you over. If you are searching for a curry recipe that is heavy on proteins but light on the heat – look no further. Each 100 gram serves 148 calories and brags of 6 grams of fat, 17.6 grams of carbs, 6 grams of protein, 3.3mg of iron, vitamin A and C and 51 mg of calcium.
Spicy Chickpea -Cauliflower Tandoori
Image source: ‘Spicy Chickpea and Cauliflower Tandoori’ by LiveKindly in livekindly.co.
If you are a protein buff then a bowl of this savory curry could be the right choice for you. Easy and colorful this recipe contains a whopping 23 grams of protein per portion. It’s also got heaps of fiber and serves you yummy nutrients. Drop in a pinch of asafetida and bit of dried chili to push the flavors without burning your taste buds off. ‘Are you sacred of chilies?’ Not always hot, capsaicinoids in chilies add great flavors, work as metabolic enhancer and are rich in vitamin- A & C and minerals like iron potassium. And what’s not to love about this devilish fruit that pips in anti oxidant stuff too?
Thick and flavorful, this recipe packs in enormous goodness and could leave you a lot happier and contented.
Thai Noodle Curry
Image source: ‘Spicy Vegan Thai Curry Noodle Soup’ by Jalisha in eatingveganwithme.com.
This curry is more like a cross between a Thai curry dish and a Thai noodle dish. Rice noodles, red curry paste and coconut milk all come together to stir up a deliciously creamy noodle bowl; and it all comes together in less than 30 minutes! If you’re looking for a protein to pair with this then Thai Coconut curry tofu would blend perfectly with it. Naturally vegan, gluten free, creamy and packed with veggies, coconut milk and spices in this curry turn it into a gleeful warming family meal. Loving the sound of that? I ‘m sure your guests will too! Nutrition wise, it fares evenly. Each 100 grams serves 58 calories, 1.50 grams of protein, 10.70 grams of carbs, 0.60 gram of fat, zero cholesterol, vitamins and minerals that include essentials like iodine, zinc, potassium, sodium and calcium.
Sweet Potato, Chickpea, and Spinach Curry
Image source: ‘Sweet potato, Chickpea and Spinach Jalfrezi curry’ in supervalu.ie.
If you think that vegan food equals bland food, then this curry will prove you all wrongand it‘s so simple to make! Low on fat and calories, this one-pot curry is full of sunshine flavors and could make you long for more. With all the goodness of sweetpotatoes, chickpeas, spinach, and coconut milk, it is seasoned with Indian spices like garam masala, turmeric, cumin and dried chilies and cooked into a creamy, rich, fragrant and hot treat in under 30 minutes. It’s mild enough for the kids to enjoy, but still packs a punch!Each one bowl serve (245 grams) packs 293 calories, 5.1 grams of protein, 22.3 grams of fat and 515 mg of sodium.
Chana( Garbanzo bean) Masala Curry
Image source: ‘Super Easy Chole Masala / Chana Masala recipe’ by Bharat Wadhwa in bharatzkitchen.com.
Authentic Chana masala curry is typically made with grounded whole spices and dried mango powder. These are cooked in some oil to bring out the best of flavor and fragrance. Garam masala options are the traditional ones and you could actually experience a delightful sensory overload. Blended mix of coriander, cumin, cardamom (green and black), cinnamon, black pepper, cloves, and other spices lends an unforgettable tone and turn the curry into a quality bite in under 30 minutes. If you are looking for shortcut to a rich, long simmered flavor, use whole tomatoes crushed in the curry. Diced tomatoes give more chunky results. And what more! If you add some baby spinach, your dinner bowl turns all colorful and nutritious!
Nutrition wise, a 245 grams one bowl portion (serves 4) carries 443 calories, 12.1 grams of fat, 74 grams of carbohydrate, 15.2 grams of protein , 65 mg of sodium, vitamin A, B , E , K1 and C, folic acid, niacin, riboflavin, calcium, iron, magnesium and host of other nutrients.
Citrus Pumpkin Curry
Image source: ‘Tangy Tamarind Pumpkin Curry Recipe’ by Pooja Thakur in archanaskitchen.com on Nov.7, 2016.
If you’ve been to a grocery store lately, you probably have figured out by now that the pumpkin spice fetish is these days bigger than ever.
Pumpkins are a type of winter squash (like acorn and butternut) and a part of the gourd family and the Indian way of cooking it leaves a mesmerizing tingling aftertaste.
A unique gluten free curry it combines the sweetness of the winter squash with the savory-spiced flavor of curry. it is an enchanting display of bright colors – orange, yellow, and red – infused with citrus accents which are a due change from potatoes and chickpeas. It’s as beautiful as it is delicious and offers a unique blend of veggies -both sweet and savory.
Pumpkin curry in fact is a warming match appropriate for the crisp days when pumpkins and other winter squashes come to harvest. It is best cooked until just tender but not mushy. Baking and braising (or sautéed until lightly browned) are the best ways to cook it.
The nutrition profile of pumpkin is pretty stately too . It’s packed with fiber, vitamins and minerals—including more potassium than a medium banana! One-cup serving of pumpkin curry has 50 calories, 2 grams of protein, 12 grams of carbs, 3 grams of fiber, vitamins and includes minerals like potassium, zinc and phosphorus. The show grabber though, are the carotenoid compounds that give the pumpkin its bright orange color. One of these- the anti oxidant beta carotene- potentially reduces risk to quite a few major diseases.
Mushroom Matar ( Pea) Masala
Image source: ‘Restaurant Style Matar Mushroom Masala’ by Neetu Suresh in cookpad.com .
Mushrooms bring different texture and earthy flavor to this vegan, gluten free, soy free Indian curry where they pair well with peas and make a rather unbeatable combination that is hearty and healthy. You could make the sauce even creamier by adding cashew nut paste and tangier with more tomatoes. A dash of spinach makes it a satisfying flavorful meal that is up for grabs in flat 20 minutes . Pumpkin seeds, silken tofu or plain unsweetened yoghurt could make it even more delicious. One cup serve (230 grams) carries 156 calories, 9.4 grams of fat, 17 grams of carbs, 5 grams of protein and vitamin A and C, calcium and iron in significant amounts.
Red Kidney bean curry
Image source: ‘ Red kidney bean, chili & ginger curry’ in taste.com.au.
Imagine buttery soft kidney beans simmering in a curry base flecked with lightly caramelized onion and garlic with rich coriander and tomato aroma assaulting your senses!! This curry is perfect served with fragrant basmati rice garnished with cilantro and minced red onion. You could add a bit of mint for that extra freshness. Blending spiced tomato sauce with fresh coriander turns the dish a beautiful bright red orange color. This curry tastes heavenly when freshly grounded black pepper in it, builds up as you eat. Nutrition wise, each 100 gram serve carries130 calories and contains 14 grams of carbs, 6 grams of fat, 5 grams of protein, 410 mg sodium, vitamin A (2%)and C ( 6%) and calcium and iron ( 8% each).
If only there was a better way to eat for your well being!
Not many meat lovers find meat curries healthy either. Kormas and pasandas (a popular meat dish from the Indian subcontinent) for instance though delectable contain frightening amounts of cream. The average chicken tikka masala contains about 1,500 calories. Dishes such as rogan josh, madras curry, jalfrezi and sags (with spinach) are no less creamy but make it to the plate for carrying just as many healthy spices.
This leaves the least fattening combination of one of these vegan curries with steamed and lightly garnished rice, or anything oven baked (tandori) coated in yoghurt and spices but not fried.
To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art
Yeah, you have heard this before! For many of us the insufficiency of a vegetarian diet and hazards of non veg foods is both in a way accurate and inaccurate at the same time. Besides the verdict varies between us. If you think that ditching meat or switching to some other source means you will automatically land up with equal or better source of nutrition, then you are off target.
That ethical take on vegan vs non- veg issue aside, if you were to swear off the meat and animal products, would that mean a ‘magical’ weight loss and a healthy you? Certainly not. Very few of us get to choose between vegan, vegetarian / non vegetarian way of food habits. Everyone in fact just keeps eating what their family chose for them since childhood.
So, it’s for you to choose between fried meaty treats and healthy delicious plant based foods. You could always brush aside that buzz over taste, smell and texture and dig in what you like most. After all healthy food doesn’t have to be boring. But you would do well if you sleep on this;if your co worker is noshing heavy meat burgers and fries every day, is he or she likely to be healthier than you?
Rude foods are finally bringing the fun back into snacking. Organically produced muesli and porridges packed full of tasty fruity bits and extra textures are jostling and finding space in daily breakfast tray, disproving the cynics who thought that such cereals were boring.
Weirdness is all sweet and savory
We all love deliciousness of certain words. These are the words that bring everyday food to life. Even something as modest as a chocolate could make you salivate when dressed with warm adjectives like rich, thick, gooey, creamy, silky or frothy. Appetizing words like simmering, browned, roasted, spice tempt you to try out a newer recipe each time you visit a non-descript out of the way café with equally tempting offerings.
The cake fluffy as a pillow, toasty brown bedecked with plum colored cream swirls, looks like a homespun triumph. The cream of mushroom is all butter laden cognac kissed charm. Succulent and plump shrimp sautéed with chili flakes and served with salad of oyster mushroom, cucumber and corns, all fresh, vibrant and crunchy, is just spicy enough to make you sit upright.
More lightweight than a brittle these are the foods that work wonders over a cup of coffee. If you could soak all day in these awesome foods, then what is this ‘double entendre ‘all about?
May be it’s about a food—even the one you normally like—that can be described in a way that totally robs the joy of eating it.”Yucks!! this food’s worth a second taste “you would describe a tomato if you don’t agree that a good tomato is ripe, sweet and juicy. “Slimy, jellylike substance around the seeds, thin skin and grainy pulp”would keep you at bay from even a salad staple. And it sure wouldn’t inspire anybody to rush out to a nearest oyster bar and stay calm when faced with a plateful of barnacled, irregular and slimy oysters on your table. Aesthetics of devouring shellfish would give way to horror in no time and you will never manage to extract oysters from their watery home!
Food that we consider inappropriate for consumption is usually a sell-short version of undercooked, overcooked, burned or mystery portion in an old margarine tub at the back of the fridge; lamenting veggies weeping at the bottom of the crisper or the leftover of greyish congealed gravy with fur and fuzz sprouting from things. The kind of stuff nobody would want to or ever should eat. Adjectives like grisly, withered, rubbery, curdled and moldy perfectly make for a food that is beyond its prime. This is what plain ‘ugly’ food is all about.
But have you wondered that what the French consider delectable- snails in a sizzling garlic sauce– may well be another culture’s nightmare?
But what happens when a flavorsome food is named weirdly?
From coddled eggs to Witchetty grub, it’s not unlikely that the weirdness of names themselves would keep even the most enterprising foodies at arm’s length. For one coddler is a porcelain cup with a lid and none would dream of eating pottery and anything ‘ witchy’ sounds downright dangerous and equally distasteful.
But the fact of the matter is that weirdest foods are not always that weird. Coddled eggs are in fact lightly steamed or baked (in hot water bath) rendering only the whites to be slightly cooked. Likewise Witchetty grub is the larva of a moth that feeds on wild bush called by the same name. Packed with proteins it can be eaten raw or soft cooked and tastes like scrambled egg and for some it even reminds of chicken.
So why not call them by the name everybody is familiar with ? Why not just use words like “sausage” instead of “mystery meat”? For a few it could be for fun’s sake but for most it’s akin to putting punch back into the very act of snacking.
Here are some of the freak foods that are ubiquitous and grossest at the same time. Known passionately and devoured eagerly, these dishes are not entirely inaccurately regarded as ‘mystery foods’ and often carry even weirder ingredients.
Bubble & squeak
Image source: ‘Classic British Bubble And Squeak’ by Decatur MacPherson in 12tomatoes.com
If you think that this food hails of something close to a living creature that bubbles and perhaps squeaks when served on your platter, then you couldn’t be more far from truth. This food has origins in Great Britain and actually contains leftover fried veggies. Loved as a side dish to morning breakfast, it’s meant to sound awful because the dish made from cooked potatoes and cabbage when mixed together and fried literally ‘bubbles and squeaks’ while over the fire.
The Imam Bayildi (literally Imam fainted)
Image source: ‘IMAM BAYILDI (A stuffed eggplant recipe from Asia minor)’ by Evelynathens in food.com
Now this one is far weirder and you couldn’t possibly have the slightest idea of what could there be in the dish. It’s actually a recipe from the Turkish cuisine and is generally made from whole eggplant, garlic and tomatoes and simmered in olive oil. Imam bayildicould also be made from baked tender aubergines with aromatic tomato and onion stuffing. Legend has it that it was so delectable that it made even the Imam faint with pleasure at the delicious flavor of this dish.
Bat Milk yogurt
Image source: ‘The 20 Most Inappropriate Food Product Names Ever’ by William Lewis on Jan 29, 2015 in top13.net
This weird brand of yogurt made from cow’s milk comes from Brazil and certainly has nothing to do with bats. From a Brazilian brand Batavo, this yoghurt created a fusion of two words by combining a Portuguese word, “batter“, with the English word, “milk” hence creating one of the offensive words, “BatMilk.” Even then who would want to have BatMilk ?
Only Puke crackers
Image source: ’31 Truly Unfortunate Food Product Names’ by Jessica Misener in buzzfeed.com on Sep 30, 2013
Words often mean different things in different languages, as this awfully adverted food proves. This Chinese snack is actually known as Only Pukeet and is oddly named because the last two letters on the bag were horrible prints making them virtually invisible. These honey bean crackers remind people of vomit and couldn’t possibly really make you want to eat them either.
Century eggs
Image source: ‘Century Eggs with Mala Chili Sauce’ by Lady Home Chef in ladyhomechef.blogspot.com on April 27, 2017
There is no way you could even dream of eating a 100 year old egg. But when you do eat, you are actually eating an older, rotten, black version. This recipe calls for eggs being preserved in clay and ash for few months. Once ready, these turn into a savory comfort food. Of course, no health issues here. Intimidating but it is a convenience food.
Bangers and Mash
Image source: ‘Bangers & Mash with Guinness Onion Gravy’ in johnsonville.com
The English always have had a penchant for weird names. This eat also known as sausages and mash, quintessentially has British-Irish origin and consists of finger sausages served with mashed potatoes drizzled with gravy. Including one of a variety of flavored sausages made from pork, lamb or beef, this is a dish you’ll find anywhere in the fancy restaurants and pubs across England. It blends well with other luxury ingredients and is super delicious too!!
Clootie dumpling
Image source: ‘Clootie Dumpling! posted by SOCIAL:FIFE ⋅ on Jan 25, 2015 in socialfife.wordpress.com
Based on name you wouldn’t have guessed it right. This in fact is a desert pudding made of sweets stuff like dough, dried fruits and sugar, all held as a dumpling within a strip of parchment and fabric. The name clootie comes from the cloth it‘s boiled in, as cloot is scots for cloth. Traditionally you would boil the dumpling straight on the cloth rather than lining it with paper first. You can also steam it in a pudding basin if you wish to experiment.
Sweetbread (Offal)
Image source:’ What is Offal? Types, Nutrition, Benefits, & Uses’ in discover.grasslandbeef.com on Nov. 25, 2019
It’s hard to win you over as an exciting believer of this ‘complicated ‘dish. It is neither a sweet nor a piece of bread and contains animal meat as the key ingredient. Sometimes also known as ‘Offal’, the thymus or pancreas of the animal is behind one of the main ingredients. Many sweetbreads come from veal meat or lamb but beef and pork sweetbreads are the revered ones.
Welsh Rabbit
Image source: ‘Welsh Rarebit’ in foodandtable.com on May 20,2018
If you think that it is a rabbit dish from Wales, then you are in for a surprise! This one is in fact a vegetarian dish and for some odd reason has been so weirdly named by somebody who was either incredibly clever or mighty confused. No rabbits; it is rather melted cheese over toast or crackers. The English nonetheless brandish a fancier version with actual rabbits.
Rocky Mountain Oysters
Image source: ’11 Things You Didn’t Know About Rocky Mountain Oysters’ by Sarah Anderson in thrillist.com on Aug.22, 2015
These are not oysters and neither seafood. Purposefully but so inaccurately named, these are actually testicles from animals like goats, sheep calves. So, how did this dish come to be? At the end of the day most big ranches would end up with hundreds of these and just to make economic sense out of it, make use of them by cooking and eating. For few it may go off well but for most it is an ugly food, absurdly described that fails to whet appetite.
Ladyfingers
Image source: ‘Ladyfingers Recipe & Video’ in joyofbaking.com
No! You have guessed it all wrong. It’s not a savory dish made out of okra pods but a delicious little dessert. These are in fact low density, dry egg based sweet sponge biscuits cakes made out in the shape of a large finger. Essentially, they’re dip-able, finger-shaped cookies that are so delicate that even Keats had to write about them. Ladyfinger cakes are undoubtedly an intricate creation and are considered to be one of the rare bakers’ arts.
Crunky Ball Nude
Image source:’ The crudest foods: From ‘Crunky Ball Nudes’ to hot ‘Urinal’ cordials’ by Yaron Steinbuch in nypost.com on Jan 28. 2015
One of the most hilariously named Korean candies, this is a provocative confection made with hazelnut paste and malt covered in crisped rice and chocolate. It looks more like an unsophisticated version of a Ferrero Rocher. These candies come packaged in a plastic barrel with a flip-top, which is quite a fun. Each ball is about the size of a grape and covered in tiny rice crisps.
There’s very little chocolate though that could show through. The rice crisps are nuttier and taste almost like cornflakes or sesame seeds and are within each ball too. The chocolate is thick with dusky hints of malt. The texture pairs well with the airy puffs of rice.
Even infamous is sometimes delightful
With names like Pee cola, Cream colon biscuits, Golden gay time cookies, instant ramen ‘Soup for Sluts’ and ‘Urinal’ hot drink, at first glance these foods could put you off when feeling impish. But words mean differently for different languages. Some of the most delectable spreads are the most unfortunately named foods in the world. It’s not surprising that the idea of adverting these nasty named foods as an epicurean delight is fast catching up since they mate so well with the duality of happiness and health. It’s startling that even the most weirdly named cuisine is not considered a redemption dish anymore!!
If you haven’t tried one of these freakish sounding foods so far, it’s time to reach out. The queerness is just the result of terrible branding or probably their awkward names are a result of their true name meanings having lost track over the time.
Whatever…names apart, you know how to pull it off when gravies and curries, sweet and savory and traditional and classical meet the challenges to keep the textures right even after a long journey–fromwok to platter.
Your serving size might be the reason you are getting Fat. Or maybe you are over-indulging in ‘healthy’ food one time too often. May be you have missed the good ones and everything that followed is devastating your diet plan. It’s time you learn to get fewer spoons in your food and discover which nutriment could just work great for you.
Should you have too much of good food!
“Anyway, it’s healthy.” If this is how you would react then in all probability you are eating too much of a good food and may be one time too many. Needless to say we fall prey to temptations sometimes and often cheat ourselves for the fun of it. Over the years food portions and servings have grown in size and so have the waistlines. A bagel that sized 3 inches and carried 140 calories not so long ago, has fattened to 6 inches and a whopping 350 calories.
When we look for healthy foods we are suddenly beset by the misbelief that we can have as much of it as we want without the consequences. Sometimes we even find it thoughtful that we can eat our way to negative calories and a promising health.
So what to eat and how much to eat? Let’s clear the air.
Are you indecisive about nutrition?
Nutritional studies usually run aground for the simple reason that it’s pretty hard to figure out what people actually eat. Sizing a tomato before eating is difficult to remember than how many times you ate it last year. Nutrition judgments could go awry and be distressingly inexact for the same reason.
For this simple relatable reason you just couldn’t do any better by sticking to a one particular diet and size. Eating a variety of fresh food and cutting back on processed ones is the simplest way to ensure that you get what you need most, even if the reality isn’t as exciting or new as you might wish it was. And then you may also wonder how the microbes in your GI tract will behave. Will it somehow change you whole nutritional plan?
No way, this is more about your personalized nutritional response than anything else. Micro biome science doesn’t carry necessary evidence to back up its use. For now, it’s wait and see and then wait and see more. It turns out science is often wrong on the way to being right.
Most roads lead to fineness proteins that strengthen bones, cartilage and skin and could improve your mood swings by regulating body hormones. With some health rewarding combination of these impressive foods, all equations work just fine without sabotaging weight loss goals!
How many times you have returned home exhausted, and either grabbed whatever you could on the way or called that local takeaway joint? Probably many more times than you wish you didn’t remember.
It’s not so uncommon to find those who rush out of home for a 8-10 hr job each day and for whom a quick cup of coffee is the only choice to kick start their day. A rush to street joints and a hasty bite of those street foods without fretting over the food value is a poor choice. The unfortunate part is that these people miss out on the importance of having high protein foods each day 24/7. Even high protein snacks fail in hitting your macro goals that range from reducing appetite and increasing muscle mass to healthy bones, cartilage, skin tissues and blood. For every kilo of bodyweight you need 0.75 gram of protein each day; that sum up to 56 gram daily if you are of an average built.
If you are keen on being lean and sinewy and alive outside, you need to up your protein intake by all counts. Just how much of whatthat will keep you stoked all day without worrying about the waistline? Let’s figure out here;
Egg
Image source:: ‘Go (over) easy on the eggs: ‘Egg-cess’ consumption linked to diabetes. in Newsletter of 14 Nov.2020 Univ. of South Australia.
An average 50-gram chicken egg provides approximately 70 calories of food energy, 6grams of protein and approx. 5 grams of fat. More than half the calories found in egg comes from the fat in the yolk which in turn contains 2/3rd of the recommended daily intake of 300 mg of cholesterol.
On the other count the egg white consists primarily of water (87 percent), protein (13 percent), little fat and virtually no cholesterol. Once boiled these miracle orbs provide you significant amount of several vitamins and minerals that include vitamin-A (19% of daily value or dv), riboflavin (42 % of dv), pantothenic acid(28% of dv), vitamin-B12 (46 % of dv), choline (60 % of dv), phosphorus ( 25% of dv), zinc ( 11% of dv) and vitamin-D ( 15% of dv). But remember, how you cook an egg affects its nutritional value. Packed with nutrients, calorie for calorie, an egg is pretty much like any other food and makes portion control easy even for the most unwilling.
Just boil two of these, cool and dig in!
Cheese
Image source: ‘The 9 Healthiest Types of Cheese’ by Lizzie Streit in healthline.com
The protein content in cheeses varies between Parmesan, Swiss, Pecorino, Edam and Gouda but offers the most bang-for-buck. A 100 gram serving provides between 26-35 grams of protein with around 1.3 grams of carbohydrate. Paired with anti oxidant grapes or blue berries it could make you jumpstart even after the 3 pm slump.
Yogurt- Greek or Regular?
Image source: ‘Strawberry Yoghurt Recipe’ by Meghna Wani in parenting.firstcry.com
Regular and Greek yogurt are made from the same ingredients but differ in nutrients. While regular yogurt tends to have fewer calories and more calcium, Greek yogurt has more protein and less sugar — and a much thicker consistency. Both types pack probiotics and support digestion, weight loss, and heart health.
Let’s find out which scores most on nutrition;
Protein
A typical 170 gram serving of Greek yogurt contains 15 to 20 grams of it, the amount equivalent of 2 to 3 ounces of lean meat. That makes it particularly appealing to vegetarians, who sometimes struggle to get enough of the nutrient. An identical serving of regular yogurt, on the other hand, provides just 9 grams which could make you may feel hunger pangs sooner.
Carbohydrate
A smart choice for those who watch their waist lines Greek yogurt carries half the carbs as the regular kind – 5 to 8 grams per serving compared with 13 to 17. Further, the straining process leaves this yogurt less likely to hurt those who are lactose intolerant. No matter which one you opt for, just go for the one that is less sugar added.
Fat
Be wary here. A 200 gm serving of Greek yogurt packs 16 gm of saturated fat – or 80 percent of recommended daily allowance if you’re on a 2,000-calorie diet. On the other side, regular full-fat yogurt has 5 grams of saturated fat in a typical 225 gram serving. Saturated fat raises total and “bad” cholesterol levels.
Sodium
An average serving of Greek yogurt could provide you as much as 50 mg of sodium, about half the amount most brands of the regular kind carry. Too much salt spikes BP and increases the risk of heart ailments. Recommended intake puts cap at 2300 mg a day or 1500 mg if you are older than 50, have hypertension, diabetic or suffer from chronic kidney disease.
Calcium
Regular yogurt serves 30 percent of your daily requirement while Greek yogurt sheds some of its calcium through the straining process. A 170 gram cup of Greek yogurt nonetheless provides at least 20 percent of your daily need. Still worried about your calcium intake? Just add another serving of milk or stir almonds into your serving each day.
Edamame beans (Immature soya bean)
Image source: ‘Edamame-Black Bean Salad’ by Betty Crocker Kitchens in bettycrocker.com
Green soybeans certainly don’t sound inviting, yet they’re a great source of protein. Like meat and dairy, these greens provide all of the essential amino acids your body needs. One 50 gm serve contains around six grams of protein and four grams of carbs.
Fish
Image source::’Why Is Fish Good for You? Because It Replaces Meat? ‘ by Roni Caryn Rabin
When you pick up one of the packaged tuna, salmon or mackerel options you indulge yourself in the benefits of omega-3 fatty acids. You can choose from various options – with or without dressings and other ingredients like bulgur wheat, lentils and quinoa.
Tofu
Image source:: ‘ Deep-Fried Tofu With Dipping Sauce’, by Cecilia Hae-Jin Lee in latimes.com
Meatatarians may be skeptical but this could very well make them sulk no longer. With 8 grams of plant based protein and 1.9 grams of carbs, each 100 gram serving of tofu could be a delightful addition even to most eclectic non veg spread. Its smacks great when chopped into cubes, pan fried with spices and then dunked into onion tomato ginger gravy. Take a bite of this portable protein and I’m sure you wouldn’t find it super weird any longer. It’s great at sucking up the flavors of the dish it is prepared in and is a versatile addition to a meal. After all it is curdled soya milk and is made pretty much the same way most cheeses are made. Firm tofu (soya bean curd) contains about 10 grams of protein per 100 grams of serving.
Lentils
Image source:’ Madras Lentils’ by Linda in thewanderlustkitchen.com
A great source of protein, cooked lentils carry about 8.84 grams of protein per 100 gram serving. Red or green, lentils can be added to stew, curries salads or rice to give that little extra punch of protein to a lunch or dinner spread. Apart from protein and fibre, lentils carry key nutrients including iron and potassium.
Chickpeas
Image source: ‘how to make espinacas con garbanzos here’ by Lauren Aloise in spanishsabores.com
Highly versatile with plenty of recipes you could relish chickpeas by adding them in stew or curry or even enjoy it oven roasted and spiced with paprika. Even hummus which is again made from chickpea paste is your healthy, protein rich mouthful alternative to butter. High in protein, each 100 gram serving of cooked chickpea contains about 7.25 gram of it.
Peanuts
Image source: ‘Eat Peanuts: You May Live Longer’ by Jennifer J, Brown in everydayhealth.com
Protein rich, brimming with good fats, peanuts are your complete protein snack. An 8 gram tablespoon of peanut butter spread over your sandwich could leave your gut feeling happy. Each 100 gram serving carries about 20.5 gram of protein.
Quinoa
Image source: ‘How to cook Quinoa (and what to do with it!) ‘ by Kylee in kyleecooks.com
Quinoa is a complete protein grain. A cooked 100 gram portion contains about 8 grams of protein. It is also rich in other nutrients, including magnesium, iron, fiber, and manganese. You could relish quinoa as a fill-in for pasta, in soups and stews or even choose to sprinkle it on a salad. It just savors great with any combination.
Protein-rich veggies
Image source: ‘8 High-Protein Vegetables You Must Start Eating Right Now! by Sarika Rana in food.ndtv.com
Eaten alone many of these dark-colored, leafy greens are not enough to meet your daily protein requirement , but a few vegetable snacks can increase protein intake, particularly when consumed along with other protein-rich foods.
A single medium stalk of broccoli has about 4 grams of protein while kale gives you 2 grams per 100 gram serving. 5 medium sized mushrooms likewise contain about 3 grams of protein. For a happy eat you could try a salad of baby greens with some quinoa sprinkling for a protein rich nutriment.
Seitan (Wheat meat)
Image source: ‘Instant Pot Seitan’ by Liz in zardyplants.com
Seitan is made from mixing wheat gluten with various spices. This complete protein however is best avoided by people afflicted with gluten intolerance because of its high wheat content. It turns into a protein-rich wholesome meat substitute for you when cooked in soy sauce. One 125 gram serving could supplement you with as much as 24 grams!
Foraging for bottom line!
If you feel that your jeans are hugging you tighter than usual, don’t blame all that food. It’s your personality that actually make you decide how much and when should you eat. Most extroverts are more likely to eat out with friends and tend to have bigger portions of less healthy foods. Conscientious ones who abide by the rules are unsurprisingly the healthiest. These are the ones who would rather nibble on a carrot stick instead of chips when the urge to eat hits. Then there are those also who are prone to emotional eating and are disoriented enough to usually eat dense and high calorie foods.
This eating awareness may discomfort you but it’s not meant to make you self conscious or feel scared of food. It’s here only to make you realize that what and how much you put into your body might not be right choice. May be it’s not what your body actually needs. May be you are eating more out of habit than want.
So, take a break between those bites and remember that some 20 years ago, people were just as satisfied with one half the size. You would or wouldn’t be, is uncertain but at least you will know what and how much you have eaten. Meanwhile keep servings in mind when looking for a quick bite.
You may find an easy way to avoid over-doing but be on guard for times when it’s not so easy to count.
People around me could never gather enough courage to say that they never found anything attractive in me, but somehow I knew. I was no freak and I had no great looks… at least not good enough to be an object of desire. I just couldn’t make heads turn..! I was the one who desired rather than be the one who was desired.
Still, it’s taken some getting used to.
I would be lying if I were to say that I didn’t miss the thrill of being wanted. The subtle pleasure of acquiescence to somebody’s needs, the opportunity to say ‘yes’ instead of being asked, ‘would you’?
The other day, a man -friend of a friend, distantly acquainted sat next to me in a local coffee shop. I could never figure out this day why he said what he said a little while later in a low voice leaning across. “I can never make out, if it’s the academics that make everything desirable or if it takes sensuality out of everything”. He held my gaze after he’s done. It occurred to me that he was mocking me. Not giving up…so I smile and say, “It’s probably a little bit of both”and lean in for just a moment. The brazen ugly sparkle in his eye bemused me… the way he took a jibe at me. Then I lean away again and say, “But it’s’ probably more of the former, because I am married, happily so and gotten everything I want from this happenstance.”
I felt uncomfortable for quite some time … It scared me. Are we so free to say about things that are so unshakeable part of how we are to ourselves?
Today, though it’s a relief. I have seen people hide the truth of aging over their lives, chasing the desires and fantasies that I have neither had the time nor the inclination for. This is my body and I live in it more happily than I would endure the awful things I’d need to do to make it appear young again!
That the years weigh heavily on me, is because they were good years lived well and I have no intention to bid farewell to good things that lit up my sky today… everyday.
I wonder what makes us yearn so fervently to be desired, to wear a charm mesmerizing enough to change moods and make heads turn. What stokes the fear of ‘being left behind’that would otherwise carve an emotional wreck out of us ? Is there a way out?
Slight Smiles, Head Tilts, Tousled Hair: what this ‘allure’ is all about!
When it comes to beguiling, your looks could make you incredibly appealing even if for a short while. But deep down, we all are attracted more to carriage than other elements.
Humans are not as mysterious as they think. We have fairly expressive facial and body language cues to reveal our inner thoughts. Smile amongst them serve best in igniting the attraction even though it is not a definite facial cue.
The truth behind attraction rings differently for different persons. I have always regarded it as a kind of invention. I think of it as an irresistible force to which we usually are in so thrall that we ignore its power to limit our choices. When we desire for someone, this all-consuming feeling turns overwhelming. And when we become icons of attraction, we begin to fulfill all the slush fantasies.
Maybe… this is how it is meant to be. An overwhelming desire for another person stemming from a good deal of good looks!.
“If you knew the secret of Life, you too would choose, no other companion but Love”.- Rumi
It’s hard to believe in crush at first sight, but I do believe in desire at first sight and I also believe that the knowledge of “how to look attractive“has the highest regard and selling price tagged to it these days.
The inevitable business of finding happiness begins right here, something that is so hard to come by that we just couldn’t find it once for all and keep it safe in our pockets! Weirdly, as we chase it in seemingly brighter spots outside of us, describing happiness has turned complicated and experiencing it even more expensive.
The world is changing and so are we…looking for honest answers to how to be a head turner.
Searching for Answers in happiness sales!!
I am not getting into details of the trillions spent in selling happiness, but isn’t it true that every year with an increase in happiness sales (beauty products, luxury possessions, marquee outfits), the incidences of mental health concerns are only rising?
I find that our biggest mistake is that we have come to commercialize the path to happiness. From buying confidence swelling beauty products to selling vacuum cleaners to a happy family, all are there with the sole purpose to catch an eye and externalize happiness.
The joke is on us. It exists for free and not far, within each one of us. Haven’t we overrated our sense of happiness? Aren’t there so many other emotions to embrace besides this blind hunt to look great?
It could be the very cause of unhappiness!
I looked beyond grudges
My woes would have had lived on if I were to keep raking myself with this one single thought. What could possibly be wrong with me? Why people do not find me attractive enough to be desirable? Instead I chose not to shoot myself in the feet and went about living a life aging gracefully and chasing desires and pursuits I never would have thought to be such a joy…the thrill of wanting myself…the joy of yielding to somebody’s needs.
Beyond the man made myth of finding joys in unseenlands, I realize that I am actually happier today for having struck fascination to myself.
It all adds up. Being okay with both the troughs and crests and not demanding highs alone, is all about growing subtly in life. I withdrew from this mindless chase ‘to be wanted’– one out of a hundreds of emotions, glamorized and boldly coveted. I probably saved myself from pitching into dark depths of depression, anxiety and other inconsolable personal and social challenges.
Believe me, we cannot be happy“at all times”.That would be a manic behavior. But once you realize that it’s not in ‘looks‘ but in the ‘meaning‘ we put to it that we find or miss this amazing emotion. The more we see it in “what we have”and appreciate “what is”,the easier it is to find it.
After all I could succeed in hoodwinking my identity crisis!!
Being attractive to other people is not always dependent on how we look. How many times have we seen the attraction go flying out of the window, the moment he or she opens his or her mouth? Truth is…the key to everything that fascinates others lies within us.
Find out what could make people find you awesome and more attractive- beyond the physical.
Sometimes even science can’t convince me. The most important characteristic is also the most basic. If I were to ask you what quality would you prefer most in a person, wouldn’t it be … kindness? Predictably, this is one positive sentiment that is shared right across the board and perhaps one benevolent choice that could make heads turn in appreciation.
This is kind of baffling!!.. because no where would you find advice on how to be ‘nice’ except that we’d all be so much better off simply bybeing kind rather than spending hours in front of the mirror. And it doesn’t take a lot to reveal this. Being on time, letting the other order first and choose where to sit and being polite to the waitress… these small acts of kindness are clear ways to show that you are concerned…. and in all probability kind too.
But isn’t it true that when it comes to make a choice, it’s what the other person represents and symbolizes is more compelling and attractive? None of us would miss the opportunity to be rather the one that others look upon us to be, than judge ourselves the way we truly are.
Believe me, we all would readily gift ourselves this much of concession whenever the need arise.
The ultimate hunt : It’s ‘nice’ and ‘sensible’ that finish first
When men think of a companion they imagine a woman who is open for adventure, sensual and cares little or nothing for what others think of her. These are the women who prefer to play by their own rules and live by their share of ikigai.
Women also have their share of stumbling when it comes to being hearty in their priorities. Sensible choices manifest in laboratories only. It’s a bit different in real life. Slave to habits, women usually have a hard time breaking cycles of poor choices and keep falling for the wrong kind of guy. Even after they get burned they would go out and do it again.
Sadly, expectations do sometimes turn into ruined intentions. In a world where we endure a monotonous life with an overwhelming number of rules and regulations, we find allure of even bad mates as incredibly appealing. Sometimes the temporary excitement that this fascination represents is too much to just let go..
So, how do you find preference over others, when you know that people may doubt what they see in you but will believe what you do?
The fastest way to do this happens only if you turn yourself into a bundle of curiosity and start learning a few simple but rewarding tricks.
These three simple actions are the recipe to quick and amazing results. Follow them and you could actually redefine yourself as more attractive a person besides your looks, to be the right choice for those who prefer a healthy and everlasting relationship.
Forget playing it cool.
Even speed dating events – where decisions are made in mere matter of minutes- simple interest builds up attraction. So how to make heads turn and others take notice of you? Listen closely, inquire moderately, hold your tongue so that you appear more polite and less inquisitive and ask questions that are witty but not frivolous. Believe me, these are known to work like an aphrodisiac!!.. could kindle a flame in your companion and in all probability make the other person find you more attractive than ever before.
Consider body movements.
These simple muscle flexing activities are controlled by the limbic part of the brain, the one that is responsible for our feeling of fascination, attraction and eventually love. Leaning towards the other person, smiling, keeping eye contact, are the three positive body actions that needs no words to build a connect to your advantage.
A smile is worth more than a thousand words.
“The things I found most beautiful about a person are almost never physical”. # Slickwords
A positive personality always bridge emotions and physical attractiveness. It’s not groundbreaking of course but men are indeed attracted to pleasant, cheerful and positive women. These personality attributes blend easily not only because of their intense physical appeal but because they carry social attraction as well- a key issue when it comes to choosing a soul mate.
Of course, a lot depends on the context of the man in question, his age, maturity level, relationship status, and current needs in life— just a few of the many factors that are key to his attraction toward women.
This isn’t to say that you need to put on a happy face 24/7, but if you focus on being friendly and are open to meeting new people, it’s a win-win. Wisely put it’s all about having a open mind, warm heart and longing soul behind a smiling face that makes the day for those who are in the fray to win.
The truth holds something more respectful for a woman. It’s her unique hobbies, skills and interests that make her more attractive as a relationship partner. There certainly is no need for her to be the same as everyone else to be attractive. Being herself is always a much better choice. The more she could demonstrate her true self, the more she could make a man feel as if he has met the most wonderful person of his lifetime.
Happiness is actually is one most attractive emotion expression and a smiling face draws admiration all round. A scowling one definitely isn’t the right choice for anybody to draw attention let alone win over appreciation. When you smile and generally look happy, you look more open and less intimidating.
Remember…a smile could move mountains!!
Down to basics of attraction
Deep down, do guys really prefer nice women?
Yes, but men strongly associate nice woman as one who is not twice as funny, exciting and open as they fantasize. Of course this is not meant to be a blanket statement and often not true, but then perception is everything.
And how could a girl attract a nice guy?
The best she could do is to demonstrate alluring qualities of a badgirl as imagined to have, without actually being bad. Its not a hard guess to know what guys want. She could show that she is open to trying new things, love being funny, adventurous, exciting, and has a sensual side too, without staging all the drama that a typical male fantasy brings to the table. The more she could portray these while still being the one elusive nice girl, the more she could make a man feel weak at knees.
For men, the excitement of an adrenaline rush would not be easy to pass by.
Don’t let go of people who could make you smile, laugh and feel loved
Being and remaining attractive to other person could be hard when you are looking for a long term relationship. Even in a new one, finding ways to spruce up your attraction don’t come easy. But, lesser attraction doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. If you run out of luck to look attractive to your partner despite having tried different techniques, its time to revisit your relationship.
Sometimes attraction thins away when we ignore what we have faltered in.
It’s all about priorities and deciding what one truly wants in life. Once we come to terms with the poor choices that we make while trying to look amazing to other and what we truly want in the other person instead, we can help ourselves and make the right decisions. Could there ever be a betteremotional reward for us than to turn compelling and truthful in our choices?
Being attractive and building upon a soulful relationship has its own share of sins and doesn’t come easy. You need to take time off to get to know the other person, change from strangers to friends and see them in every single light you ever wanted in the first place.
So, learn to revel in your true self and the better side of you will find ways to reveal itself… beyond physical of course.
With any luck you might find the mysterious connection of being attractive –inside out more rewarding than you would have ever thought!!
“Each one of us makes his own weather, determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits “. -Fulton J. Sheen
You could be really good in your work and yet marvel at the ease with which your Boss sums up the day with a flourish. But when have you ever been just what you loved in the first place? You are merely defined by your roles. Your desire to be more than a performer and be a McCoy in ‘fit all’ roles is a moot point of social absurdity in your everyday life.
So!…ever wondered what allows him to achieve so much with so little efforts?
Like the top of the tree, it is our personality that people see first. Of course image, skill, and techniques carry their influence, but the real source of lasting effectiveness lies in strong character, the roots.
These timeless insights hold the key to most of our personal and professional life issues and could well change the way you may be interpreting success.
Everything begins with an end in sight
Would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here?” .“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to” said the Cat… “I don’t much care where…” said Alice…“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.–From Alice in Wonderland
Living by the design of things is the first step to a private victory. A clear vision of what you want and for what purpose, decides what is and what is not important for you in the day.Once this becomes visible you can create a personal mission and live by it for improved outcomes.
Always remember that mental creation always precedes physical creation. Once you begin to visualize the outcome in every area of life before you act, your blueprint to success starts taking shape. Your vision becomes your guide for day to day decisions.
When this happens, it’s time to reshape your future. But just don’t let others do it for you or even circumstances decide for you. What more turn a blind eye to the wisdom of others. Consider it only as a temporary restraint , no more.
Be responsible for your choices for you chose wisely
“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. –Viktor Frankl
For the third time this week, your company is rumored to be undertaking restructuring, for Covid crises have hit its anchors hard. You feel threatened and might even believe it to be true. You are aware that the finance department is searching for ways to latch on the expenses and save on company’s dwindling resources.
Lately you have suffered a bout of anxiety and have started feeling the scrutiny of the management. Recent failures stem from obvious reasons but the management has so conveniently begun to blame you and hold you squarely for dips in performance. Every day in Office you could feel your Boss staring at you across the floor with utter disdain in his eyes boring down your neck. You are damn sure that your impunity is short lived.
You believe that you have contributed significantly over the past seven years but you are not certain that the management is even aware of your value addition to the company. You and your team had worked so hard to develop good relations both in- house and with businesses but seems like everybody is turning a blind eye to your sweat. Your department is slated to be downsized and you may be fired.
The first thought that will cross your mind is, what has conspired against me? Am I merely a victim of circumstances? or have I not made my choice wisely?
It’s not unnatural to defy the habit of choice. Most of us do not allow ourselves the freedom to choose between choices and rather resign to turn of events and circumstances.
So what could you do to un-ruffle the wet feathers? I would say you hit the pause, mull over it and then react proactively. Think of what all lies all beyond your present. Start choosing between the options if you think you cannot salvage anything from this unworthy situation. Focus on what lies ahead than stay fixed with your present misadventure. Whatever you do, just be compelling in your choices and actions.
In any case your dependence on this job is no more than a ‘private victory’bereft of any synergy with your capabilities. Shed your loneliness and learn to expand your circle of influence. Be more aware of yourself and become a transition person. Your ‘interdependence’shall change hands with ‘independence ‘in no time and creativity shall take hold of your life for good.
One thumb rule that you should never let go is learn to be yourself and focus on things you can influence. Only then you can expand your knowledge, experience, trustworthiness and above all your circle of influence.
First things always come First
“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least”.– Johann Goethe.
Prioritization of things has an unmistakable reputation of giving better results and fewer hiccups. Focus on things that are important and urgent first and put the unimportant ones at the back of the shelf, although you have to deal with them anyhow.
This rule defies all logic, for you may be required to multitask and deliver altogether, but remember,it is thecompass that must always come before the clock because where you are headed is more important than how fast you are getting there. So always liveNorth of the line and remember what is urgent need not always be important. Needless interruptions, unnecessary reports, meetings, phone calls, mails may be urgent but not important. Crisis, pressing problems, deadline driven projects, meetings reports override all other priorities and come first above all. Likewise issues like preparation, planning, recreation, relationship building is important but not urgent. Trust me, effectiveness stems from your integrity once you begin to act on your priorities.
Image source: Photo by Elias de Carvalho on Pexels.com
Fall for the habit of mutual benefit : Its intoxicating to think win-win
“What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other “.– George Eliot
Effective long term relationships thrive only on mutual respect and benefits. Foster them. Strike rich relationships . Work on the belief that there is plenty out there and more to spare. Once you have struck a balance between courage and consideration, your win-win systems have already been built with faster solutions to problems. Workaround for a solution that works good for both rather than look for success expending and excluding others.
Believe me, these win-win frameworks work great when you are clear and vocal in your expectations, eager to delegate responsibilities and ready to work with conflicting priorities.
“Listen or your tongue will make you deaf” – Unknown
To communicate and understand each other, you must learn to listen, for listening empathically is your first step towards influencing others.
Most of us do not spare necessary time and effort to properly diagnose the symptoms and rush to prescribe solutions. We assume that we have understood the issue well and hasten with a quick advice. This usually falls flat for we communicate from our own frame of reference. This is nothing unusual for we all are blessed naturally with this gift of communicating. We advise, probe, interpret and evaluate based on our own experiences and motives. We communicate merely our likes and dislikes. So what happens is that we feel we do not understand and likewise the other person doesn’t feel understood. This contemptuous disregard for each other’s ideas, priorities, intent and an overwhelming urge to prevail upon, will fail you to ‘hit the brief’ every time you turn vocal .
The key to this mutual miscommunication lies within you only. Give a patient hearing to what others have to say and you will find that you are more likely to get the results you want than ever.
Solutions to complex problems have their roots in clarity on real issue. And what more once you learn to listen you can always teach to learn.
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts
“The enemy of the best is the good”. -Voltaire
People are often overwhelmed by the difference of opinion, perspective and the background of the issue. Rummaging through umpteen courses of actions is merely confusing and often let you down.
One way to swim out of this cesspool of uncertainty is to identify the common purpose, look around you, search and learn the differences. Once you have done so, rewire your mindset. Celebrate these differences rather than tolerate or even accept them and you could well be rewarding yourself with the third alternative“Our Way”. Once you get rid of first two choices-‘my way’, ‘your way’; you are more likely to end up with an idea that is better than what you started with.
And when would you know that you have created a third alternative? You will get to know this; when you have a change of heart, see things differently and begin to find a new way together. For once, fall in for the habit of creative cooperation and see amazing things begin to happen.
Use a benchmark to check your effectiveness
“To keep the lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.” – Mother Teresa.
Focusing only ongetting the golden eggs has always been a lot more ineffective than nurturing the goose that lays them.
While we learn to renew ourselves regularly we often encounter mental obstacles such as feeling too busy, lack of enough self discipline to stick to our commitments. These are harassing moments and need you to be strong. Even your petty chores like ‘mind over mattress’ (getting up in time), eating healthy or sticking to reading regimen even when you are busy will sharpen the habit of renewal.
In turn you will have an insight of your effectiveness from your point of view as well as from the viewpoint of those around you. Better still set up a benchmark to see if your capacity has improved, relationships have bettered and there is continuous improvement in your productivity. As you explore you will become more aware of your level of effectiveness.
Once you recognize how you want to see yourself and how others see you, things will turn easier and your ‘Private victory’ will morph into a ‘Public victory’. Things once familiar and boring will for a change start looking amazing and may even reveal the real McCoy in you.
Different times… difficult terrain and a defiant adversary…. It’s time to toughen up and get ready for a face off, more with the fear inside than the virus. What you choose from these timeless insights will decide where you will be a year from now.
The world is no longer the same. A new normal has kicked in. Prologue to pandemic has faded and has left us bewildered and clueless .Rough patch lies ahead, we all know that. Best we can do is to survive through the remaining chapters.
As we live out a different life each day, we struggle to catch up with the answers to so many things.… unsure and hapless.
I had hung my boots a year ago. It took me a while before I could decide to set about rediscovering my life, learn about so many things, discover how to be creative and productive, be useful, self manage and to be mindful of all that that happens around us. Something I had missed so badly through all those years. You would say I rather aimed to redesign my life .
Today, it all seems irrelevant. A brisk morning walk has turned into a masked attempt to stay fit. Social distancing has marred relationships. Virus behaving disruptively, certainly not good enough to get us through the pandemic. Empathy burns low.
It is impossible to have a marquee system of sorts to get you through the crisis. Possibly, for this reason alone I find it helpful to hang on to a few thoughts of my own in moments of doubt. Of course I don’t expect them to solve my problems, but at least they remind me that not everything is lost on me. They save my day by the changing the course of my thoughts even if just a little.
I have found comfort in these ageless insights, these words of wisdom that I hope could bring some relief to you too. They may change the way you understand the things happening around you. Maybe make you take a turn for good even if just a little!
Don’t be afraid: You are never alone
To be alone is scary enough. But to be alone in isolation even if it is home, sounds all the more frightening. Loneliness eats into your senses. A prolonged one and it will invade your sanity and leave you a mental wreck. The price of being in emotional darkness for too long is too high.
But then there are possible ways how you could view your physical seclusion. Truth is you are never alone. If you believe in God, you have all the reason to experience the ‘divinity’, if you don’t, well!!… You still have your best friend in you. Who is there to stop you from helping yourself with unconditional self compassion? Besides there is no one to take away your cell phone, Face book, Twitter, Zoom or Google.
Of course it lacks intimacy, nothing like the one you experience meeting others face to face. But it all is enough to remind you that you are not alone. Whatever you do just don’t miss the happiness of your own company and rejoice the moment you live in.
Stop worrying for what you could not control
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”—Vivian Greene.
In our everyday life some of us have that passionate urge to resist the truth and turn ourselves into control freaks. We often refuse to delegate and live with the idea that if we can have some sort of control over other people and situations, we could well prevent bad things from happening.
But brutal truth is so different. You just cannot have control over so many things happening in life. A storm may surge in, a high tide may flood your living room but you can do nothing about it except hold on to your precious self to be safe.
The virus invaded us uninvited and that’s the reality. It left us with no choice but to accept that there is only so much we can control and no more. Not much you can do about it here I would say, except to turn to the wisdom of those who survived in extreme situations and later thrived. So many lived through the Holocaust and managed to find happiness later on. Think of how these people thought and behaved and turned up wonderfully alive and happy.
When you cannot change the world around you to your liking, adjust yourself. It’s the only way forward. Deep within you rests happiness. All you need to do is to reach out for it even if for a few moments, each day.
Don’t waste yourself by indulging in blame game
“Be the energy you want to attract”-Dustin W.Stout
Many of us are truly upset about the way things are being handled in pandemic times. Governments are getting cornered for not being serious enough in their efforts. Pent up emotions by the twitterati endlessly slam and mock them leaving little room for things that matter.
A few of us find a hint of humor in this but focusing too much does not help much anyway. Stay connected to this thread and you are wasting your energies like anything, so precious now to be frittered away uselessly. Instead, think of the way to improve. There are so many better things waiting to happen. Ride the change by focusing on what you do and what you can do and not how others have failed in accomplishing things.
It’s futile. You just cannot change people by attacking them or ridiculing them for what they didn’t do or did so little. Rather lead by an example. Play your part in keeping everybody safe and don’t forget; tough times do not last forever but what you do always do.
This could be your moment to change possibility into opportunity.
Life was so wonderful before it all began and when it happened, like everybody else I also focused on all that that we had lost and what more we could lose.
I had moved to this city almost a year before the lock down. I was beginning to find my place in the neighborhood. Local community was warm and friendly. I had started to revel being free. An amazing new life was just taking shape.
Then, the virus took it away.
I wonder and ask myself what this pandemic has disabled us from doing. Few would argue that it changed the way the life flourished for us. Yet a few would claim a new world order has begun to take shape where life as we knew would never be the same.
Damn dismaying thought. But what the flip side of the focus says? What if we start looking for possibilities that the crisis has brought in its wake? Difficult to say what are those for you, because situation is different for each one of us. But of one thing I am damn sure. There are more possibilities in each moment than you realize. All you need to do is to look for them and grab them. Everything else will fall in place by itself. Believe me, the goodness of change will be worth it. Tough times never last forever. Now is the time to hang on to the opportunities in this crisis driven weakness of sorts.
Nature has its own way of changing things
“You’ll never find a better sparring partner than adversity.” – Golda Meir
The change is happening around us in a big way, rather too big to make any sense out of it. We were never prepared for anything like this and nobody knows how things will take shape in future; what will be the ‘New World’ like in few months from now. Will we able to plan our summer holidays like before? What about kids, parents, evening with friends, the changing neighborhood?
I reckon its time not to comprehend things but rather ride the change. Time to live life one day at a time with hope, for hope is the only thing left now to lean on. One that is not just a wishful thinking, one that is so easy to happen of its own though it glimmers more in troubled times. It comes with an array of active choices too. Choice of actions, beliefs and attitudes, one that could give you the best shot to sail you through all this madness, a little less scattered, a little less hurt.
None of us has the slightest clue to what kind of world will survive the virus. Even the most knowledgeable are at a loss. So stop trying to comprehend it all and allow yourself to surf the wave. Don’t hold expectations for what happens tomorrow. Just live the change. Let go of the control for once. It could be scary but remember, you just cannot plan your way into tomorrow. It’s better to surrender to change, pay attention to what’s happening around you and learn.
The lessons from today shall serve you well tomorrow.
Like all bad times this crisis will not last long
Whenever we find ourselves in the middle of a crisis, we tend to forget that like difficult times it will not last forever and fixate on how it has harmed us. We forget that everything that has a beginning has an end also. Every feeling, thought, sensation begins with an end in sight. Nothing is permanent. No matter how bad things are, they are not going to be with you always and will end somehow at some point.
So, whenever you feel helpless or worse still hopeless just think of this single thought and see amazing things begin to happen. More so, it will keep you going a long way for there is always a chance that tomorrow could be a wonderful day.
It’s time to get tough, for our future is now trapped into an endless algorithm of ifs and buts. You may find these uncertain times as a reason to worry or consider it prudent to jump into an infinite pool of possibilities. Choice is all yours. So, choose wisely.
Who knows one day one of them may become your reality.
a day to keep your worries at bay?
The Maverick#59: Inspiring and empowering, for the best is possible. 
