After acquiring Doctorate degree in International Affairs from Lucknow University (India) settled down for thirty three years of stint with a PSU Bank in senior supervisory role. Superannuated in Jan 2019 and since then been pursuing my passion of gathering,creating and sharing intense issues of common interest.
Is there anything more promising than a day full of sunshine, mirth and laughter? YesโฆItโs absolutely thrilling. It’s a great feeling to watch the sunshine break through the clouds on a sunny day. Haven’t those sun-soaked vacations resulted in lots of photos? If thereโs a sunset wonโt you love to own a frame of your family basking in the rays? Frame it or set it as your desktop background, it gives you hopes of happy promising days ahead.
This exultation nonetheless is usually short lived unless you have the ability to top up and fortify this beatitude.ย Clearly we could all use a little more light in our lives.
Has it ever crossed your mind that our ability to wake up every morning to a new day โ one with new reckonings to teach and transform us โ is the gift of life and is hard to come by? Being grateful to a thriving day is even harder.
Over the time I have realized that this gratefulness does not let go of my happiness for the value of hard work and persistence. I need not look away from the strife around me just because I prefer optimism. I also need not be grateful to everything. In fact gratefulness suggests that everything in life warrants our greatest presence. And this is precisely what constructs our perspective and a sense of possibility.
So, the big picture here is – that sun shine is ideal and may be all right to make you feel comfortable, but between busy schedules and cloud covered winter days you need more than the sun to surround yourself with mirth and brighten up your life.
All Youโd Ever Wanted In Life Is To Shine Like The Sun!
Tired of sitting round your computer or huddled in the library absolutely muted and dulled staring blankly at the grim weather outside? Why not turn your space into a happier one? Of course youโre tired of putting up photos, drawings or whatever else you thought was needed to keep you smiling. Thinking of good times with friends and family is absolutely lame and would do hardly perk you up.
A positive working environment is the real difference-maker, especially when you canโt see the sun in a dreary grayย day. You feelย listless and completely blah; no energy for anything.
Itโs not been any different for me either. When my days in the corporate world wrapped up and the din of everyday grind subsided, the harshness of life returned with a thud. Memories of a first-rate life at work were washed away in a tsunami of questions as the future stared back bleakly. I felt unsettled and aimless. The thought of enduring rocky years ahead that would spin around endless worries was simply overwhelming. All I wanted was a laid back life, little to care about and all the leisure time in the World to do whatever pleased me – no strings attached.
Was this too much to ask for?
Image source: Vitaliy Mitrofanenko in pexels.xom
Some part of me must have recognized that my idea of happiness was in any case unsustainable as I couldnโt forthwith drag myself into proving naysayers wrong. There werenโt too many brighter days and nights that I could simply enshrine as the most pleasant of my life. But they no less did solidify my opinion about โWhat happiness isโ. To me ‘ Happiness resembled an uncomplicated euphoria that could be prolonged only by constant reinforcementโ. Another day, another challenge, another adventure, another win!
If any idea that would cook up some sparkle of happiness for me, I guess this was it.
Instead, it made me anxious. When I wasnโt fretting from self doubt, I felt adrift and valley low. Why even stress was making my empathy go limp, my cholesterol to skyrocket and my waistline to inch away unashamedly! Back of my mind something was nagging. Have I taken the wrong turn? Is it because Iโve landed in a wrong life that I can’t stop living my fears? Should I simply step back and let life happen?
It was all slowly curdling into something oppressive and ugly. All I would think about was getting out.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Digging a little deeper I discovered that happiness is not drawn out of my fickle emotions or fleeting moments of pleasure. Rather itโs founded on โlife evaluationsโ that reflect the larger perspective of my existence. From feeling free to making life choices and having someone to count on, I guess I finally found my way to โHarvey momentsโ.
Years later, today I realize my days werenโt spent for nothing after all. Reaching out to a happy life wasnโt so elusive after all!
So do yourself a favor โฆand,
Image source: ‘101 Sunshine Quotes to Brighten Your Day and Help You Shine Like the Sun’ by Henrik Edberg in positivityblog.com
Wake up Each Day To What It Is
No matter what you are interested in or whatever excites you, make sure you watch over for more of these things even if itโs a bigger effort. By organizing your interests youโll have plenty to look ahead even if something weighs you down.
Iโd awaken to each new dawn expectantly but was always unsure of the unknown in the day ahead. A heaviness would then descend and make rising into the day even more difficult. Each day asked me to wrestle and reckon โฆbut it was also the one unpromised gift that taught and transformed me bit by bit.
I even tried keeping a calendar of what I was looking forward to so I can see things coming. It helped me pass off the worst of the days without noticing -more likely in sleep. And when my eyes fill with wonder and my heart with joy, I could not betray my gratitude โ I would nourish my capacity to attend the disquiet around me.
Small Victories Do Matter
โPanamanians tend to think of happiness in a more goal-oriented frameworkโ says Allan Sellers of the Rotary Club Panama City. To me it sounds like a possibility given the fact that these people were inclined more to enjoy specific immediate objectives. I would say this was a sign of something larger; perhaps a general sense of inner peace!
Still it felt very personal to me. I was overwhelmed. For years, I had believed that โto-doโ lists were a big waste of time but having learned otherwise I found the act of crossing off tasks immensely satisfying. It was a proof of progress. I was finally allowing myself a chance to celebrate easy successes and small wins. Happiness then came to me in many small insignificant ways. When added together a serene sense of satisfaction and well being would let me fit in my day completely.
One day, I sat down and listed things that made me proud and full of myself; everything from self indulgence to heartening and profoundly affecting. Not a bad way to spend an hour- I guess! In the days since I have frequently pulled out that list and have made additions to it. Looking it over regularly eases me into peace and happiness.ย Every time, it feels good.
Image source: โThe beatitude that transforms the meaning of blessednessโ in aleteia.org
Today Iโm attentive to usual chores but donโt overlook the emotional side of it- my family, friends and most importantly myself. Iโve learned to channel Sellers by โchecking inโ on myself at odd times. โAm I being as kind to myself as I am to the people around me? Why am I feeling so empathetic?โ
Not every day though feels as bright. But I guessโฆthatโs okay. Life is full of moments when the clouds roll in and it becomes hard to see the light.
Itโs just on those days, I need to be my own sunshine!
Itโs one way street. Youโll tick for sure! But you being multifaceted is the very reason people will think of you as fake, crazy and more sardonically -unhinged. It’s your duality of being warm and cold when necessary that ruffles the feathers.
Image source: ‘The Top 8 Things People Desperately Desire But Can’t Seem To Attain’ by Kathy Caprino in forbes.com
And yet there are ways to assert that two can exist at once.
I chose the word โunstoppableโ not because it easily distracts from more mundane things but because I need to be more focused and prioritize what is most important to me. If I can get in the flow by focusing on one thing at a time without taking my eyes off the unseeable, I think Iโm unstoppable.
I chose the word โunstoppableโ because it lends me the power over my choices and the consequences that follow. The choices that I make are meant to impact others and they can also affect who I become.
Think about it; today is the youngest youโll ever be. Every moment is precious. Life is ephemeral and right now you are who you are because of the choices youโve made so far. Tomorrow it may be different or you may keep moving the same way. Everything is about the progress you make all by what you say or do. Nothing is perfect. I accept that itโs okay to make mistakes. But itโs equally important to learn from mistakes and use them as opportunities for growth and self-improvement, rather than be excessively hard on yourself.
As I grew up, I also followed the same unwritten rule that is such a convention everywhere; focus on a niche and become an accomplished person. That of course makes sense. By learning the ropes and acquiring expertise wouldnโt I be able to take on additional responsibility and assume greater roles?
Theatrics apart, it did little to help me out. After working for a couple of years as a corporate executive, my dreams faded and my well laid out plans just went out of the window. I stopped thinking or worrying much about my position and instead seriously began thinking about shifting roles or rather what felt more authentic to me.
What followed next is history. For some nebulous reason I stayed stuck. I quickly lost heart in doing whatever I was doing. I was engaged in a role that was not aligned with my values and passion. Nothing would help me feel more connected to my sense of purpose.
Until;
I learned that the only way to rid the rut was to ruminate and re-examine my beliefs and motives. Was I curious enough about my purpose? Do I have a habit of thinking only about my own pattern of thought? To be unstoppable don’t I have to be self aware and know myself? Itโs like an internal vibe- a big olโ authentic paw print that you leave on the world around you-like the lingering scent of fresh buttermilk cookies dipped in honey waiting on your kitchen table to be savored with morning tea!
To crank up my desirability I dived into three small but mighty capable things that I thought will most likely help me build a dream boat lifestyle. I wanted to be chased as a confident, kind and ambitious guy and not be out there wobbling through my life like a three legged stool.
Needless to say you shouldnโt expect to attract a 3-star Michelin human experience if youโve been living and working in a laid-back way I had been doing.
Image source: โThe trend of solo travel picks up during the pandemicโ in hindustantimes.com
Keep it Short and Real
Verity these days is as rare as a great white shark flailing around to show it loves to cuddle.
I gave up trying to impress people around me with everything I had; money, success, status you name it. It was not a big deal. I simply had to junk the idea to make a splash hurriedly presuming that this move will somehow improve the quality of my life. Itโs pretty exhausting and tough. I was letting people see me as an ego-tripping self absorbed smug.
For some reason I found my own foolishness amusing. I was trying to reconfigure and make a fresh start and I was clueless to figure it out!
It made me laugh at myself. I laughed at my mistakes; I laughed thinking how seriously people would take my brief encounters.
Still the mirth was quite elevating. It helped me plan, procure and perform no less than I ever wanted to.
ยญยญSo donโt drift if you’re willing to take the plunge. Unwittingly if you forget to chill, remember to recall Steve Jobs’s words on ‘why being worth $10.2 billion doesnโt matter at the end of the rope‘. Youโll get your redemption.
Choose the Right Battle
Do you struggle much while trying to โfixโ your weaknesses? Youโre great at marketing, but tech is your worst nightmare. Grappling with problems make you nervous. You get uneasy easily, feel helpless and usually end up procrastinating. Making time and energy sans result messes with your overall confidence levels.
So why not just outsource or delegate it if you think you cannot handle it all by yourself? Sometimes, the key to better confidence is to avoid something, rather than do something silly. Focus on your strengths and your confidence will skyrocket! Your self esteem will turn bold and youโll feel empowered like never before.
Donโt Let Fear Scare You
Ever heard of โProductive Paranoiaโ? Itโs what Jim Collins brought up in his book โGreat by Choiceโ. It describes a positive and proactive mindset, meaning that if you are afraid youโll jump to act to address the cause of fear. Bill Gates said he used to worry a lot that unseen an unknown teenager working on somewhere someday might make his existing tech obsolete. He used and directed that fear into working even harder!
Manipulate your fear to take action. Go ahead, Hit the road. You will no longer feel helpless. This is when youโll be in control and absolutely sure of yourself. Youโll know when and what to take on!
However there’s another hurdle that you simply cannot jump over. Once youโve accomplished what you think is one thing that would make you successfulโฆWhat next? Success, happiness, and fulfillment all have an unhealthy way of changing over time. After youโve found success in one way, try to find it in another.
By overcoming adversity and scaling expansive goals, you create a penchant for personal success in your subconscious mind. You will find yourself being driven impulsively toward repeating that success in your other endeavors. Trust me, when this happens! Pride yourself; youโve learned to succeed by succeeding. Eventually this synergy will start to toot horn for you and success will rain in from all sides.
Do you know each one of us has the potential and ability to accomplish extraordinary things in our lifetime? Except when you do not know how to get going, thereโs nothing to stop you from pursuing success.
Not knowing why I did half the things I did, I had continually struggled until it became absolutely clear to me that complacency is only a restful escape from reality. I need to reach out and embrace productive practices to become unstoppable in life.
Image source:โPositive and Negative Energy : Your concepts of negative may be someoneโs positive!โ by Udaylal Pai in udaypai.in
Thirty years later, today I do not fear- often disruptive- life changing choices. I no longer stand meekly in the land of busted and broken insecurity. I am not unadventurous but I choose to steer clear of known failures and move on from an unworkable solution to figure out something howsoever unfamiliar.
Isnโt โapprobationโ the only eternal edge everybody aims and hopes for in a genuinely successful life? Is there a better way to rewrite your story than to junk the stereotype to become multifaceted?
Image source: ‘How to Talk to Young Children About Skin Color’ by Ron Grady in readbrightly.com
I am the one who believes that all people are equal. I judge them for their personalities not their skin color. Black, brown, white or yellow; it doesnโt matter. We are born all the same. And you donโt have to speak the same tongue to be friends just as long you can understand each other.
Ever since I was a little boy I have not seen much but learned a great deal about racism. Here in this country nobody tells anybody to discuss it. Nobody has told me to talk with people of same skin color and possibly the same language only. Frankly people have so much in their hands to give a hoot. In fact nobodyย wants to hear it, nobodyย wants to know about it, nobodyย even cares. For them itโs unfair to discriminate on ethnic terms. It just feels so wrong.
Yet the commotion of racism in a world full of differently colored people never stops. Its unending backlash keeps ricocheting now and then in one place or the other. Consequences are the reprisals that often end in pain and hurt many.
Imagine yourself in a date with your beau or gal from a different race. Itโs not fair to ask but wouldnโt you hesitate? Isnโt the fear of harsh reality of color prejudice buried deep within you tries to shut you down in their company? Would you dare hold their hand in public? Wouldnโt you rather upend your relationship than socialize along with them?
If you are brave enough to say โnoโ youโll most likely be shamed as a โracistโ; if you do Iโd certainly be the one to buck you up for not caring about their skin color but the heart that throbs for you beneath it.
Still, do you think there will be no more tourist attacks because everybody is friends with everybody even from a foreign land? Itโs a hard guess but not inconclusive. Choices are compelling but the world we know can still be made a much better to live and thrive if it isnโt for an irrational fear and dislike for pale or dark or brown colorism that verge on cronyism for lighter skin.
Even to this day itโs difficult to get a job outside your coterie not because of your inefficiency but the recruiting agent finds it wiser to look the other way when narrowing down the list more because of his cynical bigotry. I call this creaming off narrow minded racial profiling. With obvious joblessness many are left with no choice but to start a business on their own. Even if they get to pick up one itโs not certain if theyโll get any coworker to lend a hand, again because of their skin color. So technically they stay jobless.
People of this world with a different skin color are largely an unhappy heartbroken race. Do you know why? Their history that spans a long period has endured an extensive experience marked by bitterness and โPowersโ that never flinched to jump to cut or sting. Their gradual fall from grace has been rude and shocking.
Of course campaigns have brought awareness but havenโt necessarily got rid of the deep-rooted beliefs. Nobody has managed to find a way to help the dark-skinned women feel beautiful in their own skin no matter what their skin tone. โYou are fair. Everything looks good on youโ; the mockery hasnโt given way to a conscious appreciation.
Don’t you think if we judge people on their skin tone we might as well be telling โGodsโ they made a mistake. โWhiteโ is easy even if itโs not stark but a streak of โDarknessโ robs luminosity. Shadeism surfaces full on, overshadowing the fact that every human being is made for a reason. Nobody is here to be judged or bullied. Life that we know of would be much better if we didnโt think of people by their skin color.
My take!
Just think of what you would say to the next person that you see that doesnโt have the same skin color as you! Your thoughts will rattle you for a while. Your judgment will firstly betray you with a harsh opinion about other skin color. But your slant need not cloud your belief. Care for them, the same as your best friend. Of course, you donโt have to tell them your secrets, but look upon them nicely even if youโre racist or not.
Image source: ‘We are one’ in lycanlover.com
We Are All Different Shades Of A Single Hue
Just a few days ago while shopping, I saw a dark complexioned woman buying a fairness crรจme at the same utility store. Honestly, I did not know what to feel. I was rather shocked at someone valuing fair skin tone even to this day. Does that really make someone feel that itโs possible to lighten oneโs skin tone? What bothered me more was how deep seated this conviction is even when most of us are aware that you canโt really do much to change your skin tone. Seems like people have forgotten to slight those bizarre ads claiming to โIlluminate Your Beauty with Radiant Fairnessโ .and shrug off the idea of buying unrealistic fairness crรจmes!
I remember as a kid someone categorically telling me that if I eat enough beetroot through my junior days I will be โblessed withโ a fair skin tone! No wonder our obsession with fair skin tone begins with the โbellyโ even before the โbirthโ!
My reality though is simple; I as a person do not value myself any less because of the color of my skin.
But is there truly any end to this? Will we all ever be equal for once?
One good reason why everybody looks away when it comes to โcolor at workโ is that itโs too damn easy to jump to some very unhelpful expressions; โI donโt see colorโ or โI donโt mind working alongside people of colorโ. For many itโs an unquestioned conviction. And itโs equally hard for them to keep pushing oneself to believe that โWe all are equal. We are all one human race and skin color is irrelevantโ. In fact itโs one such compelling idea that fits neatly with their idea of progress and supremacy.
I would say itโs unfair not to admit that this is how even some people of color feel too. I know of those who have denied their own backgrounds simply because it did not fit with their thought of โThis is how I want to see myselfโ. Perhaps not proud of their complicated heritage or even feeling confused of being differently colored; people are known to deny respect to themselves. They may breathe easy by saying that โcolor discrimination doesnโt exist for meโ but itโs as good as denying a part of themselves.
I think maybe itโs better than seeing one color only. The shocking incidents of George Perry Floyd Jr.-the African American and Amt Cooper -white dog walker from Canada are a grim reminder to the irony that reducing someone down to their skin color spawns a whole bunch of negative assumptions around them. Quietly sheltered and kept under wraps this โovert racismโ is a shocking hint to them that the only thing that matters but hurts most is that the World around is oblivious of them and is inattentive.
Image source: ‘7 Most Common Reasons/Types of Employment Discrimination’ in employmentlawassist.com
Do We Need To Talk About It?
I donโt think that we really have to take notice of it even if thereโs very little of it. For many it helps to keep the myth of progress alive and unquestioned. It prevents all conversations about the how different the experiences and needs of these โcolor groupsโ are.
Tricky race dynamics apart, racism tends to be more prevalent for some โgroupsโ over others. Except that none has the courage to acknowledge it.
I wonder if people still believe that skin color determines a personโs worth. Or am I naive enough not to accept the unacceptable? Isnโt this a colossal denial of a tranquil existence?
For a moment my answers may belie your assumptions. Your judgment may dither and at some point may dissent enough to be your restful escape from reality. But do something right even if only you are there to witness. Itโs a way to the highest most altruistic form of integrity. Get out of the box without sizing the audience.
Besides you need more sunshine than anything else if your cheeky ego has scored one up on your subtle sensibilities. Color discrimination is passรฉ. ย Treat every โcolorโ as your best friend. โBlack lives matterโ, tags and images are not there any longer and will never help.
It will be a small victory, but to millions it would give hope. It will make them feel โIโm not alone any moreโ. It would make me realize that there are many around me who care and want to change the way the world perceives skin color.
Think about itโฆ
Arenโt we all different shades of the same color?
Whenever I look back at historyโs horrifying events, particularly those that happened in this part of the world, a twinge of grief overwhelms me. I get sad and sore. And I begin to doubt myself. โWould Iโve ever tried to be on the โright side of whatever injustice is happening?Had I been in the midst of all the horror would Iโve bravely resisted the abuse and outrage? Were I living in the โGreater Indiaโ in the 1900s would Iโve been valiant enough to be allied to the civil rights and freedom movements? Would Iโve joined the rallies and protests in support of rightful rights of oppressed citizens?โ
Image source: ‘4 Tips To Help Children Learn Dates From History’ by Asha Thomas in thetutor.me
Honestly Iโm not so sure. At least I wouldnโt have sided with unfairness or discrimination. More importantly, Iโm in and from 21st century where every cause stems from a moral right though often vilified and comes with factual downsides. And that gives me fair enough reason to make peace with my failings!
I sometimes wonder if somehow I could get to time travel back into 1940s then surely-surely I wouldโve tucked myself into the civil disobedience and independence movement against the atrocious colonial rule; one that began in May 1857 and prevailed till Aug 1947.
Is this the obvious truth or am I tricking myself into self deception?
Honestly Iโm on the fenceโฆ
If I were to assume that I am someone blessed with unmistakable demographic attributes and there’s no way I can be sure how the future would unfold, would I ever be flanking the brighter side; one that I know as the โRight sideโ of historyโ? Isnโt it more likely that Iโd keep my head down and try to stay out of trouble for all it means?
Hell! Once headed into 40s and obviously more dim-witted than now, itโs highly likely that Iโd be less certain of the appropriateness of the freedom struggle in the first place. I wish and hope it wouldnโt happen this way. But if thatโs how Iโm fated to end up I know for sure Iโd be rightly dismissed as a coward.
Clearly that very definitely wouldโve me walled off on the โwrong side of the historyโ.
Unarguably, to be on the โright or wrongโ side of the history is everybodyโs rallying cry. So, when we talk about the righteousness of a cause, the weight of history makes for a powerful argument. Who doesnโt want to be part of a great historical narrative, be celebrated and continue to live on as a morally upright person for the future generations to judge with awe?
It actually is a nice way to make an argument both logical and persuasive at the same time. Isnโt it?
For that reason if you are really serious about rewriting the moral crusade of your life time, you need to firmly believe that progress is possible at all times. A better world can always be built and you need not have to accept things as bad as they are.
Image source: ‘4 Tips to Set Yourself Up for a Better Tomorrow Today’ by John C,Maxwell in success.com
Donโt Mind the Small Stuff
Focusing on what you think or feel in the current moment is one easy way to cut through the uncertainty. How you live out your present will rework history for you.
โWhat am I feeling and contemplating right now? How do I feel about the current state of my life?โAt one time or the other this is how we all day dream, mull while fidgeting with stress ball and sometimes when weโre disconnected with ourselves. Whenever we trip back to the past or dwell on the probable course of future events, our focus goes off for a toss. A pattern of depression overshadows our judgment and we can hardly discern right from wrong. Fear, shame, guilt, sadness and the fright of the past coming back to haunt, bring us back moments when we did something we werenโt proud of.
Contrarily not everybody would yield to it. โIf I donโt feel bad about it then I donโt regret it and then itโs like a โgood thingโ for me. โIโm sure I shouldnโt suppress things so I must hold on and own my actionsโ.The rant could continue indeterminably.
How we treat past events that no longer exist is not relevant but events from the โPresentโ live on. Your unwavering focus today on chosen accomplishments will be one nasty home-stay for your anxieties and fears and yet will decide your place in history.
The resolute ones among us are usually more determined in their judgment when it comes to setting up some remarkable legacy for posterity. Their reasons though are vague and arbitrary. โIf I donโt worry, who will?โ, โI need to think of the future, otherwise I wonโt foresee whatโs coming next or how am I judged many years laterโ.โDonโt I need to focus on what I want in order for me to manifest it?โ
For future to turn out exactly as you perceive it, is a near impossibility as there are always too many things that cannot be maneuvered. The only one we can manage is how we feel about a situation. We do not get to control how the future comes together. We can only be in charge of our perspective and not worry about whatโs going to happen in future.
So, stay in moment and enjoy every second of it. If you want to get a more โcomplete pictureโ of where you are in life, where you want to go and how you want history to judge you, itโs important you know how and when to zoom in and zoom out of your perspective and recalibrate it properly and fittingly.
Image source: ‘The Courage and Consequences of an Uncompromising Life’ in twojourneys.org
Which Side is the โRight Oneโ?
What would I like to accomplish this week? Whatโs that that will make me happy accomplishing this month? Whatโs there that I need to strive to accomplish this year?
These are questions everybody has rough answers for. Nothing definite but a wobbly tentative way-out lurks in everybodyโs mind. Sadly every foresight is largely underrated and usually sells short. . On the other hand most trailblazers could see a few steps ahead before committing themselves.
Now that youโre seriously weighing your legacy, there is no better time to re-visit your timeline for necessary aligning than when you start digging for answers. I know nobody’s vision of the future is ever crystal clear; it never will be. But like I said it’s always good to following the beaten tracks of โbleeding heartsโ from history.
I am willing to adapt. Iโve resolved to be particularly attentive to how my ‘daily routineโ and โevolving timelineโ overlap and work out together. I frequently โzoom-in zoom-outโ of my perspectives to be in harmony with my long term fondest hopes. I keep re-evaluating my life on a frequent basis. I know that there is no single perspective that is โbetterโ but my ability to shift my vantage point when needed has the real power to reframe my history with certainty.
Still, one should always hedge his or her bets about being headed in the right direction. There is nothing there thatโs absolutely certain or right about what course leads you to the โright sideโ. Nothingโs verifiable. Even Newtonโs theory has been wronged in some respect. Soโs Copernicusโ. Hasnโt quantum physics completely changed our understanding of the universe?
Image source: ‘How to Use TODAY to Make TOMORROW Better’ in havingtime.com
Whateverโฆthese uncertainties are all simply reminders; that what we think we know we may not know much about.ย This world is full of enduring fickleness and is abominably contentious. Both morally and temporally there is a right side to everything-the side that bends more towards justice and fairness.
What you choose today forges your tomorrow and the days after. For you live your places in history everyday! ย And remember everything at first works counterintuitive but bends towards uprightness once pitted against real effort. ย
Besides itโs just may be that the right side isnโt always in history, itโs in our hearts and bones.
I suppose Iโm fortunate to have only happy memories of my childhood left with me. Surrounded by a doting family and a great looking dog, unpleasant ones have over the time somehow faded away. Besides I just donโt wish to look back and relive any.
Image source: ‘Senior Living: The challenge of being a new grandmother’ by Liane Faulder in nationalpost.com
Today itโs easy to figure out what made my early years so great. Like a superstar she was everywhere, always there, smiling all pervading. How can I ever forget her withered face and corrugated forehead that shone through folds and creases and a bad dentistry? She was a constant companion โbodily and in other ways till she passed away at a golden age of 84.
My grandma from what I remember belonged to a generation that had lived through two World wars, the tumult of Partition and another couple of Wars-one in the West by an unruly Pakistan and another one in the North across the Himalayas by the belligerent dragon China. The world on this side of the fence had really taken a relentless beating, People were pushed against the wall and had to endure a great deal. Watching over their families was a rough going. Amidst such challenging times she kept her nose clean and minded a conscientious care for her family up to the time her debilities overwhelmed her spirits.
It was a sad and dispiriting gloomy afternoon when the shattering news of the inevitable reached us. Till the end she had never called in a favor and was a proud free-spirited empowered woman her entire life.
The Joy of Being a Grandson
To assume that the โcradle to graveโ age difference between us somehow weakened or clouded our perspectives would be unfair, lest think of, to describe how I see my โgrandma grandsonโ bond today. I was a little kid of barely five then and so wet behind the ears to have any definitive frame of mind. I just had a fifth birthday. Unsophisticated, naive and truly green to understand worldly subtleties, I was looked upon as a starry eyed, innocent kid trying to find his foothold in this incredulous world. Clueless and unmindful I guess I understood only tenderness and warmth then.
Despite prolonged separations-my father being a Police Officer and distantly posted- I immensely enjoyed grandmaโs company whenever we would visit her on school holidays. Being one of a dozen grandchildren, I could barely have her company except when the adults engaged in serious talks outside and other siblings were too preoccupied to mingle with her.
As ever, grandma would cuddle me, reach out for home made laddoosandwould be so excitedtotell me all kinds of stories about her childhood. She didnโt seem to care if any of it made any sense to me. I was just there as a generally happy listener to be easy ears to her reminisces when no one else would. I was the reason for her contentment when she would talk about things profound and incomprehensible to me. All silent Iโd be a courteous audience to her recounting. She savored these moments and smelled the roses for all I could make out.
Born much before the First World War, she had endured an entirely different childhood that was rife with loss, privation and denial. The country was under the yoke of British raj and basic rights of natives were the distressed lot. Privations and disadvantage rode the wave. Clearly her parents couldnโt have hoped to muster enough means and raise her appropriately.
So, grandma never made to the school.
Image source: Cottonbro Studio in pexels.com
My Childhood and Grandma – Nostalgia Live-on
Like in typical households, where boys are pampered and favored much more than girls, my grandma had to stay at home to do chores and learn cooking. The only opportunity she could manage to learn a little was when her cousin brother was having lessons with the family tutor. She would shyly sit quietly on the floor at the far end of the long bleak, dimly lit room, across her brother and tutor and listen intently. Interestingly somehow she learned to read and write, even just a little upside down โ an ability that later turned out to be quite practical, especially whenever she would try to read and share my story books. Sometimes on weekends she would together with other siblings go to the Zoo โ not a stone’s throw away from home but not too far either. There she would sit down cross-legged underneath a tree and musingly watch all the fun going on around her. The faint amusing smile would never leave her face. Even while walking us around the cages or handing out scrumptious wraps of pooris, with flavorful savory aloo fry stuffed within and sweet- sour mango pickle, she would be happy faced always. Perhaps she knew that life is time sensitive and she didn’t want miss a moment of happiness for nothing.
Her soul was something I guess that had struck a note with everyone . Everybody admired her benevolence and caring compassion. I could never forget her sitting comfortably on grass bed handing out to little greedy hands unmindful of the fuss and squabble around her.
During the Partition often life came to a standstill she would tell us. To protect her kids from marauders in the street who preyed on Hindus she would run children underneath her bed and the whole family would stay stuffed like rag dolls together for hours- joking, giggling and whispering funny quips. Many a times they would miss being discovered by just a few inches which grandma with a great sense of gratitude would fiercely claim was a divine favor.
The time would simply rush out of the window and we wouldn’t miss any of the fun!
Image source: Ron Lach in pexels.com
This is just one of the many stories she would recount over the years. Now that I think about it, her young adulthood and my childhood were worlds apart. Yet something held us together. My childhood was quite happy and fulfilling. I didnโt need to go through the trauma like she did where uncertainty called the shots and fear was in charge. I never faced educational barriers, ignorance, illiteracy, un-enlightenment unlike her because since I was born itโs been part of me. When I was younger, I never really had the chance to be myself, sprawl out on the grass, while away my time doing nothing except stargazing or learn the art of hand knitting. All I remember was staying at home, playing with neighbor’s bit older kids or reading Phantom series, something I’m sure she wouldnโt have dreamed of doing.
I guess our different backgrounds were what made her such an interesting person to listen to. Her stories felt like history books coming alive. She was special in so many ways. Her loss is felt deeply by many, but none more than me. She lived a full life and left a gaping void when she left. For a couple of years before the end I had watched her fight off her frailties. She was a rock to the family but fragility had kept her slipping.
A Lasting Tribute
The love of a grandma is unique. It seems like God gave us grandmothers to liven up our lives, to make it more whole, to make us grow into better human beings. For me she meant a great deal in shaping my childhood. I remember sitting in the kitchen beside her and gleefully relishing the sweets she would share with teasing playfulness. Her companionship taught me a lot about love and the meaning of family. In fact, she never was just โgrand motherโ to me. More than that, she was my guardian, my friend and my inspiration. I miss her dearly. I guess her spirit and strength, lives on in each one of us and in the lives that she touched. She lives on in me and in all those who have been moved by the love, strength, conviction, wisdom, and beauty of her soul.
Image source: indivstock.com
Love you grandma โ You truly were a special, special woman to me! Youโre no longer among us but your memories would always live on in me. Thank you for your sacrifices, your care and concern, your love and everything that you did for everybody. I know you are in a much better place. I hope I never forget to be grateful and thankful that I was fated to be your โgrandsonโ.
Youโre gone but not forgotten grandma! I miss you so much.
Until we see each other again some other time, some other place.
Retirement isnโt something we talk about often. Those nearing it speak of it with apprehension; those already in it think they finally are free to live their dreams. Whateverโฆeveryone has a soft spot for an enriched โpullbackโ life. But dwelling over it or over thinking only makes you miss take notice of the potential for joy and fulfillment that exists in the present. Contrarily, disregard it completely and someday youโll land yourself in a pit full of regrets and missed chances to happiness.
Image source: ‘Donโt Hang Your Happiness On Others’ by Alex Fayle in possibilitychange.com
This might make you wonder. Is โAlone timeโ really heavenly? Should you be so eagerly looking forward to that โsolodowntimeโ; to have enough of free space and do just what makes you happy? Or would you rather be somewhere more quaint and peaceful to be able to do what you usually donโt do?
There are hundreds of memes doing the rounds on social media with people joking about how theyโre coping with their changed lifestyle in a quiet and cloistered surrounding. This I think is an easily forsaken effort more to fill in time, relieve boredom, improve creativity, or sometimes have fun playing around with words and living through the day without being truly happy and contended.
Whatโs there To Make Your Day?
Have you figured out the things in life that truly make you happy? Have those things changed as youโve gotten older?
I have not been lucky enough to have a regular remissions to spend more time hanging around with friends and family. I missed awesome zoos, quintessential museums, short โbuck-upโ breaks, and trips on holidays or even something as simple as a quad pleasure ride. Baring a brisk wave to others, walking the dog or soaking up the beauty in gardens, life boringly oscillated between being work-bound and housebound.
I think perhaps a character in my story never could turn into the kind of maverick who knows how to reconnect to elements or even learn the skill to โbe-happy make-happyโ. I was in some way one of those few where being restricted is the norm!
Stillโฆ
The point was not lost on me. Prioritizing meaningful life over material wealth somehow changes the way you live out your life. Instead of judging things by what I expend on the basis of what I gain, I saw my endeavors as an investment in memories, relationships and personal fulfillment. I was beginning to realize that what I experience is far beyond the moment in value.
Let me put it this way.
If you love dining out, eating out at an upscale restaurant is not merely an expensive deal only. Neither it is an opportunity to explore the uncommon exotic food which itโs possible otherwise wouldnโt have happened to you. Itโs incalculable worth gets caught in time. The priceless time spent together with loved ones creates unforgettable moments and wonderful memories to last you a lifetime.
I consider riches as means to enhance the quality of life rather than a treasure to be saved only to be passed down as an inheritance. Think about it; like your ‘Now‘ unused and leftover it adds little or no value to your happiness.
Image source: ‘100 Happiness Quotes To Lift Your Mood’ by Lindsay Lowe in parade.com
Why You Shouldnโt Postpone Your Happiness
I go for my daily walk every day. A short while ago, while ambling along I met several older people out either walking their dogs or sashaying around to stay energetic. They seemed all retired enjoying life indulging in simple things they fancied. In a rare moment of levity it made me think of all the meaningless inanity I had to endure at my work place. Was any of it worth anything? Did it hold any weight? Was it of consequence?ย Even when I didnโt know why, I could sense a kind of conventional wisdom whispering to me โโSacrifice a bit of your present today for a little of better future tomorrowโ. Was everything convincing enough to keep postponing my happiness and enjoyment indefinitely?
Nothing would make sense then and it all felt like madness.
I was being reminded of the old โI will be happy whenโฆโ approach.
Or was I comforting myself using that phrase too often?
I looked closely. I had an elephant in my life that was not moving in either direction. I was all for the idea of setting a little of me aside for the future but probably had dithered to catch the wave.
โWhat lights me up. What I ought to do now to live a fulfilling life without waiting to be free. What is it that has played over and over in my life and seems to matter most?โ For once I couldnโt forgive myself for being morbid for I had clearly let two seriously badass issues hold out on my happiness.
Will I make it to retirement?
I know it is not a nice thing to think of the inevitable but it is an unmistakable fact. For many making it to a much-promised paradise will end in dreams. Seeโฆwe are tutored to avoid thinking about it but when I accepted the uncertainty, I quickly began to see the foolishness of putting off my mirth and happiness.
What if health fails me?
Imagine somebody who admires you walks into your home and hands you over a cheque worth all the money you would ever need. Howโd you react? Would it be; โItโs Ok but Iโd rather work hard to earn that kind of moneyโ. Arenโt you postponing your happiness even when youโve the chance only because you believe that you have to earn the right to be happy?
For many itโs difficult to choose to be happy this way. Downside? Your decision to wait until retirement when youโd have saved enough of โyour ownโ might end on delayed gratification where happiness keeps postponing to โsomedayโ.
Checkmate your hesitation and make time for things that make you happy, because โNowโ is the only time you have and none other is there for sure.
โWarโ is over if you want it
How many things you think you have put off for retirement?
Sure, life is busy and thereโs never enough time of it for everything. But itโs seriously lame to think, โWhen Iโm retired, Iโll have all the time in the World for myself. I will be free to get more out of life and plenty of time to do whatever pleases meโ.
To an extent, youโre right. You will have a lot more time for yourself after you retire. And itโs good if that makes you look forward to a better life. But has it ever occurred to you why it could be in your best interests to make a start right now rather than wait?
Image source: ‘Why You Shouldnโt Delay Your Happiness’ by Diana in thewellnessexplorer.com
Reimagine retirement. Over the years you are in the habit of thinking about life the way you do and itโs unlikely to let go in a flash till you retire. The way to get over this tight spot is to stop being inert now in the belief that life isnโt great for now but will get better once you retire. This sadly is not going to happen. Start living your best right away and not wait for an unseen uncertain future.
Be it a fine dines experience, a spontaneous weekend getaway or a special event; make sure to be alive to the moments that offer emotional rewards. Sometimes you will have to push yourself when nothing else will fall your way. Still thereโs nothing tricky or conflicting in trying. Lifeโs too short to miss out living even a second. The same stuff that makes for a great retirement you can use now to create a positive and fulfilling life that leads up to it.
It has worked as a wakeup call for me. Iโve learned to seize every opportunity I could to make the best out of my Present into a fulfilling tomorrow.
My take on this!
Someday when I look back I’ll be happy not questioning myself โWhat did I miss? ย Was it Ok to not wait until retirement to live a meaningful, purposeful and rewarding life? Havenโt I succeeded in finding a middle ground living for now versus later and met happiness half way?โ
Image source: ‘World Environment Day 2020’ in timesnownews.com
Some of these mornings, as I wake up I sense a strange heaviness hanging around me. Itโs unnatural, itโs weird -one that I canโt put into words. Iโve rested well and yet the world seems tired; the air has forgotten to feel fresh and the day loiters listlessly mocking in an unkind way. Maybe itโs just me; or is it the Earth whispering anxiously through the cracks that have ravaged her for a long period of time? Whatโs worse we have looked the other way for far too long turning a blind eye to her imploring cries.
Even so I find some amazing calming comfort in nature- long walks, sitting by a quaint patch of green watching sky burn itself out from clear sapphire to deep orange at dusk as the sun goes down. In those moments, I feel less alone. I love the descending silence as creepy crawlies gear up for night sojourn.
But lately Iโve noticed something unusual happening to real world outside. Trees are withering too soon. Birds are fewer and hardly twittering around. Bees, beetles and butterflies have all gone into hiding. Rivers are drying or swelling beyond their rhythm and seasons are so confused; one moment itโs roasting sunshine, the other itโs raining hard leaving every living soul squirming in fiery discomfort of sweltering heat. Every now and then the torridity turns soul destroyer; numbing, draining exhausting the familiar nature around us. Itโs as if the world has forgotten to follow the script itโs been doing for eons.
And we keep asking more of her!
The Earth is Tired
Pretentious hunger of concrete reality, careless consumption, hostile plastic convenience and spiteful ways of easy travel, all maul the inhabitable air with tones of carbon footprints. Unmindful of her agony, every time we ask her to hold on to our fancies, adjust, absorb remain stay quiet and continue to be calm and serene as always. And all the while we continue to chase comfort in all the wrong ways for all the wrong reasons. Forests butchered, oceans stifled with trash and waste that we dump and mountains pillaged until they no longer stand proud; we have gotten used to taking what we fancy- without asking without giving back in return.
Whatโs more unsettling is that this planet still continues to hold space for our reckless mistakes and strangling plunder.
But for how long?
Does this mean that we have somehow missed the mark? Are we merely focusing on some deep science that largely does not make sense but hastily overlooks to connect with daily life? Confused, resisting and gloomy in outlook altogether the blame lies with us for bettering our lives without thinking twice about defacing and vandalizing our Planet.
The reason!
Calls to cut back on carbon footprints by going easy with fossil fuels or invoking stiff emission standards globally are largely unworkable and wild. Betraying growth this way seems unrealistic and fails to sell. Worse, no doable solutions are brewing and no achievable solution for fixing climate change has gained ground.
Image source: Ron Lach in pexels.com
The Weight of Being the Strong One
For all we know the Earth is getting tired, non renewables are depleting fast and climate change is real. But we donโt think itโs as urgent. Itโs no surprise that alarmed cries invariably run aground. Considered as another out of touch elitist cause with no viable end tied up, this listlessness has not led to anything serious.
Personally my take on this is not that cheeky. I am many things but not a quitter. When it comes to a mindful existence I am inclined towards wind or solar over coal or gas but Iโd care more for having a reliable energy source when I need it. The push for change is alright but not everybody can deal with long outages after storms, rough weather or murky no-sunshine days. Reliability outsmarts source when it comes to availability and service.
The real problem!
Our planet has reached its โtipping pointโ. It has exhausted all that it can give sustainably. Besides the climate story has either been told badly or it has fallen on deaf ears.
Itโs time to face the reality or forget the โTomorrow landโ of our imagination entirely. Truth may be lost for a while but bigger crises lurk in plain sight. Trillions spent on renewable have barely moved the needle on โglobal emergencyโ. Cold feet couldnโt cancel the hearty fake shows over โgeo-engineeringโ. Itโs time the screen writers and story tellers amid the โright-wing eco warriorsโ figured out how skillfully they can cook a story that people would actually care about. Not the one that would only sell tickets to another โGrand Climate Showโ!
Feature credit: ‘Nature Is Speaking’ by Conservation International in youtube.com
I am not saying that shift is easy to come. But it definitely begins with people like us. People who once danced in the rain as kids, who were supercharged in plantation drive at school and who at one time were convinced that this Planet was their only โHomeโ.
Perhaps we have forgotten to grieve โthe Earthโ fearing that doing so will make us responsible for all its woes. And in the process we have missed the point-โGrief is where the healing beginsโ.
I still remember sitting quietly by the Periyar lake side one balmy winter morning. I was on a vacation to Kerala, down southwest to Thekkady exactly. A charming spice and tea paradise nestled in the foothills of Kannan Devan mountain ranges this is an epic destination unveiling breathtakingrainforests, enchanting spice gardens, wildlife and all that youโd imagine of Hills nโ Hues. All I wanted a little break from all the noises and humdrum of daily rut.
The water mirrored the sky so vividly that I couldnโt tell where one ended and the other began. That moment I wasnโt thinking about the melting glaciers or shrinking rivers or shriveling verdant. I just sat there quietly. It felt good. The soft gentle breeze was tapping my shoulder urging to listen to the silence. In that quietness I think I heard the Earth speaking to me- not in anger but in sadness. โWhy do you keep hurting those you love most?โ
Image source: Chris G. in pexels.com
I love living on this planet. Do you? I love the burning gold sunsets, the earthy smell of first rain drops falling, the proud peaks of snow clad mountains wrapped in the clouds and the iridescent opulence of flowers that bloom without waiting to be applauded.
If we have been given with so much by her, then maybe itโs time we love her loudly and clearly. Itโs about time we protect her from being destroyed and stand by her side when she is being gagged by profit. Itโs time we mourn her losses like we mourn for our loved ones- not in words but in decisive action.
I know thereโs no one solution for all her woes. But I know this for sure-Change will come when we begin to see this planet as โinseparable, indivisible and unseverableโ part of our existence; her exhaustion as our own and her collapse not a distant fear but a manifestation of our choices.
Image source: Luise del Rio in pexels.com
As I write this, I donโt have anything new to offer for a dramatic climate change. I just want to be part of the endeavor. I want to feel the change when it comes. I want to be responsible for the grief of what weโve lost and what weโre losing. I want to believe that if we sit with this reckoning long enough, we might act โ not out of fear butโฆ
Has it ever occurred to you that love is not enough to make everything work all the time? Have you loved somebody where you felt you werenโt happy and yet you kept saying, โBut I love you so deeply. Isnโt that enough?โWhen was the last time you were happy and felt accepted when around them or did you find yourself anxious, fidgeting and largely misunderstood?
Image source: Valeria Miller in pexels.com
Sometimes our relationships mimic our insecurities and reflect how we feel about ourselves. Not before long this self doubt influences our judgment and harshly imposes itself to upset the very core of a loving relationship. It then becomes hard to accept the love that comes our way and not the one we think we deserve.
As a rule some people are just a better match for us than others. They outsmart us in every possible way. Not always of course, not everybody. Iโm someone who doesnโt like to talk much but connect on a deep, emotional level. Unfortunately, Iโve a habit of choosing people who are either incapable of keeping a secret or just donโt like to connect or bond deeply. So I always end up feeling alone and misunderstood.
There is nothing wrong with them. Itโs just that I am not a good match.
I think everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to vulnerabilities. Some people crave for intense emotional intimacy; some do not. My parents were married for eighteen years till he passed away at 42. For most part and as far as I remember they were happy and content and an adorable couple.
Years later I wonder if thereโs a way to live my true self as they did. I have no right to judge them but I guess thatโs how they had agreed to go along with in the first place.
For me though, I want more and need more!
You Are Never Too Much
Do you crumble at lifeโs circumstances easily or do you come out stronger each time you hit a wall? When life brings something painful and seems to come apart, how you bounce back actually determines if you have been brave enough to take all the aches and pains in your stride. You can either react emotionally and escalate your misery or face it resolutely and grow through it.
When in difficult situations Iโve stayed hoping that some miracle of all miracles would somehow happen. I treasured telling myself โShouldnโt that be enough?โ Unfortunately it doesnโt happen that way. It never has and it never will. Just loving somebody is never enough. The drama that life brings is inevitable. Would you want to waste time and effort if itโs going nowhere?
So whether your relationship leaves you unsure when world around you goes bust or asks far too many answers; look for these tell tale signs before you settle down feeling alone and out of sorts. You might just get your answer.
Loveโs no longer even handed
When life is not kind, do you tell your beloved something thatโs important to you? What you get in return -a comforting response or a hasty retort? โI really need to spend quality time with you because it lessens my worries and calming,โ Do these words make them cringe or empathetic? If you are not understood correctly or even donโt want to heard , then love has begun backsliding .Youโve never been right for each other. It was always about the tangible world only.
Love isnโt about good days only; itโs about staying together when life takes a beating. Otherwiseโฆyouโre in a lopsided relationship and youโll never be fulfilled.
I remember the time I came home from an extremely stressful day and really needed to vent. To this day I couldnโt forget my spouse looking at me in shocked silence. I had never behaved the way I did that day. Eventually she snapped indignantly, โ I am not your girlfriend. If you want to talk like that call somebody else.โ What could I have done with that? If she doesnโt want to talk to me or care about how my day went or that Iโm stressed, where should I go?
It struck me later; โYou do win some in love but you lose even more and the rest if anyโฆ slips out quietlyโ.
Do people want to know your real side?
Itโs hard to guess when sand would begin slipping through the fingers. Who really wants to see their flip side? If it still happens youโll be left at your wits end and an air of indifference would suck out whatever shred of love is left there. This is the time when youโre outside the comfort level of your vulnerability and crave for an intense emotional intimacy. Youโll have more of your past to deal with and wonโt be able to a comeback from your darkest days.
Do you know why?
Image source: T. Leish in pexels.com
Love always goes on a back burner when some midlife crisis begins to burn you out in unsavory bursts. You no longer feel accepted and understood for all your quirkiness and irrationality. Clearly you need โmore than you think and less than you want.โ If not then you are left perpetually dissatisfied and over the time love will probably erode itself away.
Honestly itโs all about a mindful existence where love alone doesn’t feed all the necessary elements for a positive outcome. Youmay love someone with everything you have got, be utterly smitten and it wouldn’t still be enough to build a stable relationship or walk you through hard times.
Living less frayed is always a better choice
When life takes a turn for worse itโs not unnatural people trying to put you down and make you feel like you canโt or wonโt accomplish anything. Not loved or cherished by others, does your partner supports you or wears you down? For the most part your cheer leader needs to support and encourage you. But it doesnโt always happen the way you want. When drawn out for long, often love puts you down on the bench and make you feel youโre more trouble than itโs worth.
Life is not a whispered promise of sad losses only. Itโs too short to be with someone who doesnโt believe in you. Choose ease over anguish. Your days should not be filled with angst, conflict or misery. Fix your side of the street and see if anything changes. If yes; you will get the chance to reinvent yourself. If not; you need to rethink- “Is my love not enough to bring home happiness again?”
Way out?
Rejig your life. Love them. Hate them. But you can’t ignore that you have a life to reshape as well. There are still better ways to do that than youโd have thought.
Truly these questions can the change the world for you. All you need is to keep asking yourself. Not once but over and over. Every month, every six months, every six years . โIs my life better with them in it? Or is being in love as unromantic as it sounds? Am I finally with someone who could knock me off my feet? Have I finally found the one that makes me feel complete?โ
In as much as you love them and as much as you think they love you, if they canโt be one in thousand reasons to meet your needs, then youโre throwing away the precious moments you are left with.
There are way too many wonderful people out there, but that doesnโt make them the right ones for you. Just because you love them doesnโt mean you can be happy with them when life collapses.
Image source: ‘Why itโs Unrealistic to Expect a Forever Relationship’ by Jackie Pilossoph in divorcedgirlsmiling.com
Loving someone is a choice but living a meaningful life is not an everyday bet. Choose your happiness wisely and while doing so choose love rather than it choosing you.
It all began with what I saw in the bathroom mirror one dull summer morning. I had gently padded into the bathroom of my small apartment and casually checked my reflection in the mirror. The โthree-ring-circusโ in my head was all chaos as I intuitively kept repeating the list of things to be done in the day over and over.
What I saw froze me in my steps. A chill swept through me.
Huh? What?
I couldnโt recognize myself.
I peered saucer-eyed at my image. My blood ran cold. โOh, is this what I look like? No, thatโs not me. Whoโs that in the mirror?โ
It was early August 2018. I was going to turn 60 in five months time. I would often remind myself; ‘it’s time to get familiar with retirement‘. For quite some time Iโd been experiencing a weird sensation of clouds coming over me, mantling thoughts. There have been a few hiccups at the job. But thatโs OK. Itโs life. Good times do not prevail all the time. What mattered most was that I had climbed the rungs of success the hard way.
Itโs been a long haul but a good one.
I had known all along what was coming but wasnโt ready to give up so soon. My mind had begun to stall like an engine that was becoming increasingly hard to turn over.
I had no issues with mirrors, but there was no ignoring that something important had happened.
But to not recognize my own face! To me this was the โdrop-dead momentโ; I had to accept the terrible truth. I wasnโt just seeing the twitches of aging but the early fumes of fraying at the edges. Clearly I was losing my mojo.
Fortunately, I was still my boss. I told myself, โEnough of that; youโre nuts if youโre seriously thinking of quitting. Tell me what youโre up to.โ
So far I was persisting, in control of my life. The silent attack on my spirit had not yet hit in full force. But what about next week ? Next month? Next year? The dread of missing out on euphoria would always be there. And the year after. And forever. There werenโt any easy parts. The unease was nicking away, its progress messy and unpredictable.
โThis beginning is purgatory,โ I said to myself one day. โItโs kind of a grace period. I need not wait for something to happen. Something I donโt want to. Itโll be like a before-hell purgatory if I let it continueโ.
It was at that moment I realized that itโs time to ditch quick fixes I had been relying on. Getting started seemed daunting at first. However, the thought that soon Iโll be energized enough to keep going was encouraging. โItโs time to recap and look for a happier, healthier and more productive lifestyleโ.
Clearly,I was being stern to myself.
So I did what felt right then. I listened to my heart and pursuedโฆ
Image source: ’10 Powerful Prayer Quotes to Strengthen Your Spiritual Journey’ inthefreespiritjournal.com
To do something meaningful each day.
“What was that I was passionate about? Do I have something special in me that need to be practiced more often or shared with others? Is there something that I enjoy doing every day, even if it’s something as simple as cooking a meal or listening to my favorite song?“ Iโd often search myself.
Soon enough I realized that itโs way easy to complicate life despite your best intentions. So why not de-clutter it and reduce to essentials only. I needed to simplify my life to thrive.
Not before long it began to make sense. Everything had started falling into place.
All ย ย questions answered I finally figured it out.
Putting effort into the things that matter most will make it easier to use and reserve my energy in ways that will bring out the best in me. I needed to keep and practice a compassionate mindset โsomething thatโs often referred to as โkind attentionโ.Till now Iโve been knocking myself around trying to make eye contact with a stranger and smile, while secretly thinking “I wish you well”. I would choke whenever I tried coming out loud. Unintentionally I was keeping away from judging people and in the process fleeing from placing judgment on myself. Luckily I was saved from the kind of deflating self talk that usually saps away your spirit and weighs you down heavily.
Once having tweaked self inflicting complacency I began to feel better with each step I took towards a reinvented thoughtfulness. Next I also learned to tend only good thoughts for others. For once I felt unburdened to learn all the things and master everything.
To evolve gently and turn slowly
Rhythms and routines light me up. I always had a penchant for charting my own course and everything else that comes with it. But Iโm a messy person in many ways. Emotional, deeply sensitive, with a tendency to be reactive I simply love to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Still, sloppiness is generally untidy and doesnโt blend well with simplicity. Sometimes I would want to run away, hide or ignore everything. It troubled me that I was only contributing to the noise. I felt scattered and unmotivated. Worst of all, I had this feeling that I was trying to walk in a pair of shoes two sizes too big.
Once aware of what was crippling my energy and obstructing my resolve, I chose to follow the lane that felt important and sensible rather than tackling everything at once.
For instance, since my home in disarray was a big source of daily stress, I chose to pick one cabinet, closet or drawer to clear out each week instead of overwhelming myself with doing it all at once. Iโd then move on to my next goal when I felt ready.
I was finally taking advantage of my moments by prioritizing important tasks. I was already feeling fresh and jazzed up.
To do something If I Didnโt like What I See
Arguably often systemic barriers make it difficult to make radical change in a personโs lifestyle. Work place regulations, an aggressive litigation environment or social convention โall can create hurdles to a shift. All that and more โฆeven when we see people taking to streets to rubbish them. But being very few and isolated, nothing changes easily. In fact to solve the problem requires another level of effort.
To get out of complacency, you need to be motivated enough to rally in the action. Iโm not suggesting anything more except a more reasoned response to injustice around you.
More important Donโt Give Up. Your level of โstick-to-itivenessโ is the only yardstick to assess your success, For a long time I also held on to this value doing nothing much about it. But lately Iโve begun using it to dig my heels and stay put where it wins the most for me.
Image source: ‘5 Proven Ways to Create a Happy, Fulfilling Life; by Kulraj Singh in tinybuddha.com
It makes sense to sit on the couch and keep doing what you are doing today. But what does that brings tomorrow? Often I ask myself. Too many years have gone by and too many opportunities have passed. Why did I never spend time traveling the world? Why havenโt I ever read the most celebrated works of all time? Why did I not pursue my passions with fervor? Why did I not stay connected with old relationships?
Was I afraid or did I dare not get out of the bubble?
Itโs easy to get cozy and watch Netflix on a weekend instead of going outside and exploring new things. With apps that deliver food, groceries, laundry, entertainment, and everything in between, nobody would take trouble of leaving the house. But by doing so, you miss new experiences, opinions, and interactions that would help shape your perspectives.
So ask yourself what you want.
Plan your unspent life. What you want from it and push yourself to make it happen. Build toward the future you want. Hitches and hurdles will get in the way but set your intentions straight and you will not be the one to miss out on 100% of the opportunities that you never took.
Besides donโt hold back in searching yourself for what you need to stay sparkling and sunny. The worst that can happen is a โNoโ which is any case better than regret of the unknown.
Above allnever think of slowing down to near stop.
Image source: ‘RI Leaders React To Texas Shooting: McKee Calls For Assault Weapon Ban’ in patch.com
As I dig into the past, simple sweet smell of savory snacks tiffin box from school days is the first thing that comes flooding back. It has the air of a long forgotten shaggy-dog story about days gone forever. I look back and they are still there โclear as open sky, unmissable and hankering to be relived one more time. For some reason my recollection would grow into lengthy stories and thatโs the time I love having partnered them. โAmma, would you please put more food in my tiffin?”… the sweet chirpy imploring plea of a 5 year old echoes back clearly with many faces.
I still have it in my mind so vividly.
Come January and it would be all about small toys and tiny anchors to keep my days steady. Birthdayโs coming! Iโd prance around joyfully. Life then, I think was about being slow and simple. The kinda days that ask us to take our time. Itโd be dark by 6.00 PM and Iโd be in bed by 8.00, if I manage to get away with it. Everything was uncomplicated and elementary. The world felt uncluttered, quiet and naive. It would though pick up soon enough but I disliked having to rush. Not grown up enough to think straight, I believe I had made up my mind even then.
Iโd let the time do the work.
Life was shaping up simple and steady- much like an overnight rising dough, a long roast, a slow simmer. I was inching towards brighter days!
Today what I see in my mindโs eye as I sit quietly under a tree in the park is a little kid of 5 indulging life so dearly that I fervently long to reach out and relive my salad days one more time before I die. The thought endures but I know time is absolute and irreversible.
I’m still hoping to find a few things that I didnโt know I needed as I grope around in my memories.
The Joy of Learning
It was so enlivening to spend time together with classmates. We would laugh together. We would play together and would enjoy tiffin together. Our hearts were on small things and moments that would bring immeasurable thrill and boundless happiness. Maybe life was leading us to a deeper appreciation of our everyday lives and the ways in which we would someday find everlasting happiness. Itโs another story that we understood little or nothing of those complex subtleties and finer points of a buoyant life. Then, it was simple and easy- โfreak out and live a carefree dayโ. It was as though โyouโre being given a lovely warm hug each day without knowing whyโ.
Tiffin featured large in my own world of joy in small things then. My small irresistible ‘bento box‘ would easily accommodate two decent size parathas a small helping of fried potatoes and occasionally a piece of homespun sweet to brighten up my spread. The fragrant aroma of fried cumin seeds and fresh coriander would invade my nostrils even before I’d unboxed it and stoke my hunger as I greedily reach out for a morsel. First two bites would help me wake up straight and get me restarted for the rest of the day. Nothing would now put off the glee and the joy that would stay with me past noon. Belly full, Iโll be lighthearted and playful.
In my mind I rather waited anxiously for the recess bell.
This ‘feast‘ though doesnโt have to be everyday thing. Anything from sumptuous sandwiches to bread pancakes and veg biryani to veg rajma wrap, ma never ceased to surprise me. I guess the only way she wanted to be there with her child in school was through the lunch box. She would make different things each day and also leave small note inside the tiffin saying how much she loved me.
Today I can fully understand this sentiment of every mother who wishes to connect with her child and brighten their day while they are away at school.ย
Sometimes it vaguely felt as though I was going to bed in a bed with newly changed sheets and pillowcases smelling clean and fresh and well tucked in. Waking up next morning and realizing that here is another day, and I can still get out of bed under my own steam.
What would have been more joyful? Life was treating me well.
Image source: ‘Out of the box: Healthy eating is now part of school lunchrooms’ by Rhythma Kaul and Alifiya Poonawala in hindustantimes.com.
It was lovely to explore new day every time and be fed easily with another bounty of magical joy.
No, she never was a chef-mommy. I think she hardly knew what it meant. Except that she had sensed that she needed to be creative. She would invest her ideas in a small compartmentalized tiffin box, where in one box you pack various things like fruits, dry fruits and savory items in another making your child feel tempted to eat. The advantage was that since she couldnโt pack too much of one thing in the box, she tried small share of everything. She wanted her child to feel satiated with small portion and get to eat a little of everything with variety of stuff. My regular fill in the different spaces were fruits, dry fruits, veggies while the bigger one was for the main meal like parathas sabzi or idli chutney.
The Lasting Impact of my 4th Grade life
When life gets small and time rushes past, often our pleasures dry up. But it is in the smallness of things we get the chance to compress our thoughts, to discover the true happiness that make a life well-lived.
Yeahโฆsimple pleasures and small joys of magical childhood days are not there to last a lifetime. Time then seems to stretch on forever but is never meant to keep company all the time. In a whisper it disappears but lives on in our memories.
It is lovely to go out and meet new experiences and what a joy it is to come back to your own home with everything in its right place in bathroom, kitchen and bedroom. You know where everything is without having to think about it. Yeahโฆitโs commonplace. From slow sweet mornings, dawdling afternoons or noisy evenings where you donโt know how things will end, you try to keep things pretty buttoned up. This has to be done. That needs to be finished. Life is small and tight. People have to be cared for. Work has to be accomplished. And the rest…
In between do you get to reach out to the child in you, reconnect with your playful side, embrace or tap into your childlike wonders? Have you tried to lay a hand on the most delightful time of your life and may be help it grow and thrive?
Image source: healthline.com
Lifeโs been alright to me. It hangs around like Okay only to not be Okay. On return each day I look around but couldnโt find my ‘Bento’ to hitch me a ride back to simple good o’l joys of childhood and a glimpse into my 4th grade days.
Itโs nowhere to be found.
I guessโฆHappiness is still trying to give me a slip!
Sometimes it happens. Everything in your daily life just goes crazy. Every little thing you try simply drifts off. Youโre passed over for an important assignment. Your back aches. Your zipper breaks. Your dog keeps throwing up. Youโre freaking out and wonder if your life is always taking a turn for the worse. You arenโt superstitious, but these knock outs push you to troubleshootโโAm I just an unlucky person? Why is it that I can never catch a break?โ
I myself have felt this way at one time. While reclaiming my beliefs I learned to ย understand โwhy we believe in luckโ; โhow can I rein in my belief and make real changes in my attitude toward life that will help me feel less โunlucky.โ
Not everybody would buy this thought though. For many luck is the most useful yet vulnerable idea that makes sense of random chance and the โunexplainableโ acceptable. If you stumble upon a $100 bill on the ground, you will think you have good luck. But if a gust of wind blows away your $ 100 bill just as you pull it out of your wallet, youโll think of it as youโre having bad luck!
Is Luck chance or happenstance?
Some of us are born lucky; they say. Everything they touch turns to gold. Others are incessantly stalked by misfortune. But itโs not only just the people who get to be lucky or otherwise; it can be an action as well. The ball hits the post in soccer and everybody jump to lament- โthe striker was unluckyโ. Luck or not, Iโd say the pool shot was lucky but did not rely on skill. It was unexpected or even improbable and happened possibly due to a series of fortunate bounces!
Does any of this make sense? Is there really such a thing as โluckโ? Do some have more of it than others?
I guess there is a perfectly reasonable way to draw some sense when we talk about luck. In fact I think there is no such thing as luck. Itโs only a matter of cause and effect where the outcome is the result of certain actions and circumstances, not some random chance. So rather to talk about luck isnโt it better to talk about how to make things happen easily?
Does this mean that no-one has luck? Not for sure, but we canโt truly say of someone to be lucky except that they are the kind of person to whom lucky things happen.
Image source: ‘Manifesting Your Reality: Power of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy’ in happyproject.in
Itโs complicated but you can do it
In hopes of brightening my perspective on โluckโ over time I have uncovered three main characteristics that people who consider themselves lucky have in common. They โlisten to their intuition, โcreate reality through self-beliefโ and โhave a resilient attitudeโ that transforms โbad luckโ into a good one.
Surprisingly, it is the psychological behavior that determines the luck a person could think of experiencing. People who believe lucky things happen to them all the time, tend to fare better than people who feel unlucky. They know how to bounce back while the unlucky ones are inclined to give up easily to failures.
So if luck is based on psychological behavior, can you change yours?
Itโs hard to believe but โYou absolutely can!โ
Make it happen in real life
Start by making small changes in your everyday routine. Trivial pursuits like penning a thank-you note and how you felt lucky at the end of a day is a smart move. You can also change something as simple as taking a different route to work or while running errands. Even the shows you watch on TV, once dropped or changed can create new mindset. To all intents and purposes luck is what happens when arrangement meets opportunity.
Another simple way is to be a flexible thinker and evolve an equally flexible approach to life. Once disposed, youโll be more open to opportunities when they come along. Simple but impactful, these small things know how to make change happen for the better. Your World will become bigger and larger and youโll get more breaks. Youโll know where youโre headed and be ready to change the course depending on how the wind blows.
Expect good fortune for youโll be able to turn an awful experience to a good one. Itโs highly unlikely that bad things will come your way. If for some reason you do hit a roadblock, comfort yourself, โOkay, this could have been worse,โ rather than โIt could have been betterโ.
Oddly enough this may affect your future luck as well. If you feel better about an event, then youโre likely to have better expectations about future experiences and maybe your luck will change.
Image source: ‘People who are regularly โlucky in lifeโ usually display these 9 behaviors’ by Mia Zhang in hackspirit.com
Meanwhile you can shift your focus toward the positives. Each night before you hit the sack spend at least 30 seconds writing down a positive thing thatโs happened in your day; a sense of gratitude for friend or family or perhaps a health issue. Even a negative thing thatโs no longer happening should not go unnoticed.
You also need to take the long view. Breaking your leg might be a setback for now, but if you happen to meet your prospective beau in the hospital, it could end up as a very fortuitous event.
Whatโs more, donโt let yourself be stalled by a stereotyped behavior. Take a different route when walking, when watching TV or when talking to different people. Even petty changes have a knack for upturns.
And then keep your eyes open. Stay alive. Be prepared to grab whatever opportunities come your way.
Image source: ‘These 8 Time-Tested Methods Will Boost Your Luck’ by Sandra Grauschopf in liveabout.com
Nonetheless, what you canโt expect is for good fortune to magically come your way without effort. Luck is a very big part of our personality. It isnโt easily influenced and malleable until you do something quite concrete about it.
To be โin luckโ you need to have a broader focus. Following that youโre more likely to encounter chance opportunities before good things start happening.
Despite everything if you still donโt consider yourself lucky enough, ‘Youโre in luck because you have it in your power to change‘.
Arenโt we all always looking for ways to be happier even when often we only have odd and ends of uncertainty to contend with? Of course, itโs not easy but not impossible either if you know how to get there.
Image source: ‘How to Cope with Emotional and Psychological Trauma’ by Julia Schwab in juliaschwabtherapy.com
The biggest misbelief is that happiness comes naturally. Honestly thatโs not the whole truth. Our subconscious is โbuilt to protectโ and โpersist stronglyโ as far as possible. But strictly speaking, we are not hunters or gatherers in an unpredictable wild World. Itโs Ok if our thoughts naturally drift to fear and anxiety in moments of stress. In fact almost every sad and difficult gut feeling that keeps pulling us down arises from our repressed mind. Many a times we struggle to live in the midst of this surreal nightmare unaware that these impulses can be thwarted. All it needs is some conscious effort to refix the brain that has a tendency to go face down if a sore moment hurts badly.
These four easy ways, nonetheless can help you overcome grief and return to delights of happiness.
There is Always another Way to Happiness:
Thereโs nothing unusual if our unconscious mind triggers knee jerk reactions to downturn situations like sadness and loneliness. Itโs Ok if your conscious mind takes longer than usual to โmake sense of everything coming our wayโ perspective. When we become aware of the level of our consciousness, everything far and wide rallies to tell us whatโs coming up next and what conscious choices we can make to live in the current moment.
By being aware that you have a conscious and an unconscious mind to reckon with, you can bring a huge difference in your life as it gives you the power to decide which one youโll choose to listen to.
Deepen Your Insight
Itโs nothing short of being aware of oneself and showcasing it.
For instance, if you find yourself constantly shifting to a negative thought over something as trivial as your ability to do well in your job, try to find out when was the first time you were as uncomfortable and felt as incapable. Itโs somewhat like being diagnosed with severe dyslexia and then experiencing an intense urge to prove to others that you arenโt lagging behind.
Once you do that it will not be difficult to know where those feelings are stemming from. Let them pass or else donโt resist the flow of things. Just stay on course and pieces will fall into place.
Let me say this differently. On one hand, I can compliment myself, thank my efforts and claim to be the most successful person I know. On the other I couldnโt be more unhappy saying to myself, โIโm not enoughโ. I can sleep over it and let woes multiply. But once I know exactly where that comes from I can put that in perspective.
I donโt really have to live there!
Image source: ‘Understanding Mood’ in Understanding Mood in dana.org
Sometimes itโs Ok to let go and move on
When emotions run high thereโs not a whole lot that we can do about it. But ruminating is one easy way to discover where that indifference is flowing from. Once you let it pass, youโll know whatโs coming up next.
Imagine of it like this. Youโre at a railroad station for an upcoming journey and thereโs a train approaching. Itโs the unconscious that keeps pulling you down, โYouโre reasons for this trip are not enough. In fact theyโre not good enoughโ. You can either step onto the train, or be stranded at the station for hours, weeks, months, years. Alternately you can say โNot just yet, not now. Iโm not stepping on this train today.โ
Setting these unconscious thoughts free while being mindful of your actions, will help you slow down and make mindful choice.
Living with your moment is a powerful approach to life as it encourages you to fully embrace your ongoing experiences without distraction or regret.
Trust the outcome
No one ever wants to suffer. Everybody yearns to be happy always. Arenโt these the two most coveted basic desires of all of us? Who wants to wake up and hope for a truckload of suffering? โฆ I donโt think so. In as much we want to be happy, we hate sufferings no less. But sometimes we relentlessly hold onto our upsets and aches.
One reason is that we are often thoughtful without control โ frustrated thoughts, lonely thoughts, worried thoughts, jealous thoughts, depressed thoughts. We donโt particularly want to think of them but we canโt help it and that leaves us unhappy. Learn to rid yourself of these unwanted pensive thoughts. If not that, fence yourself off and look the other way.
Once free, youโll do just fine.
Image source: ‘When Mom Is Emotionally Unstable. Seven Ways To Heal.’ by Dr. Margaret in drmargaretrutherford.com
Let yourself be unhappy.
When weโre in grief or hurt, all we want is to get away from it. But thatโs as hard to come by. We canโt ignore it, pretend weโre fine, be comfortable with ourselves or lash out in defensiveness. We canโt just distance ourselves. In as much as we know that these are typical human response to challenge our reverses, we hardly do anything to take the edge off.. In fact wanting to get away from the unhappiness doesnโt make it any better. It only prolongs the suffering and sometimes worsens it. Instead, tell yourself itโs Ok to feel wretched and sore sometimes. Itโs Ok to be miserable and hurt every so often.
Wind down a little and allow yourself to be overwhelmed by that murky sinking gloominess. Tell yourself itโs Ok to be mortified.
Being curious of itโs A to Z all the while though, is a helpful recourse to tide over your setbacks. You can stay clear of all witch hunting hoping for its end.
Donโt want to buy this? Try at least to be intimate with it. Itโs not pleasant but it canโt kill you either. This way the end will be in sight sooner.
In fact, itโs where the healing starts and growth happens.
Image source: peakpx.com
There are times when search for happiness ends in the harshest conditions. Such individuals amaze and inspire me. When Nina Riggs (of โBright Hourโ fame) was diagnosed with an incurable cancer, she knew her end was near and was well aware that sheโll be leaving her two young sons behind. Before she left at age 39, she could tell her husband, โI have to love these days in the same way I love any other.โ
When we wait for something to happen naturally so that we could scour for happiness easily, we stay unassertive towards our own well-being. We fail to recognize that itโs our thoughts that make our World and we alone are responsible for our happiness.
There is always something refreshing about traveling on a train; something traditional, friendly, romantic, and charming. The excitement works up especially when you’re going on an overnight journey. Of course, you’ll have to sleep, but you’d still love to take a peek outside a moving train and let every scene zipping by consume you.
Image source: hindi.nativeplanet.com
I always prefer to travel by train because it connects the cities well and affords easy commute in-between. Besides every time I look out of the window, there is something new and exciting to see. Itโs like watching a movie, where everythingโs so real! True, itโs only a glimpse thatโs gone forever but not before allowing me a glimpse of life off the tracks zipping by. I love the classic clickety-clack sound of the train hurtling down the rails. Nothingโs more relaxing than the gentle motion, generous comfort, laid-back moments and a whole new world unfolding before you every minute. Itโs a full length chill-time adventure that comes with an everlasting thrill!
I dislike a whistle-stop getaway travel. So I planned meticulously before I started on my ten day adventure in New Delhi- the throbbing racy metropolis that dares you at everything. Chaos, commotion, honking โeverything is just unstoppable. The tracks were to take me to the end of the line in Thar desert near Pakistan border. Not that I havenโt experienced anything like it before but the temptation of a journey through the sun baked terrain, the sand dunes and the shining night stars was simply irresistible.
Image source: ’15 Beautiful Train Journeys in India Worth Taking’ in rajasthanindiatourdriver. com
I could never guess what started as a boring ride to the station and a long tedious train journey would eventually unfold a spectacular peek into the north western part of a hugely outwitting country.
Visiting this land of extremes and mysteries was like being pulled into a myriad of stores in quite half hidden alleys stacked with never-ending shelves all stuffed with bright and elegant saris, exquisite rugs, and a host of exotic antiquities. Lined up next to inexpensive oilcloths and convincing knock off books would be a generous scattering of uninteresting stuff and a menagerie of animals nestling in the clutter by the roadside. At first this would be like an assault on your senses. And yet every disorder somehow stays orderly. This part of the country is vast and cramped, bedraggled and sumptuous but carries promises of nothing less than Seven Wonders of the World if only you know where to look for!
The People
One definite highlight of every trip that I have taken over the years is the people I have met. Like any other place the sheer numbers here too have been overwhelming and there have been moments of intense interactions-sometimes intrusive, but thatโs all. A brief encounter to buy a bottle of water, an unassuming buy of a steaming cup of chai and thatโs that. People would nevertheless also have strong opinions about where I should visit, eat, pose for photosโฆ and would always be very enthusiastic about sharing their advice. If this is not what youโd been looking for youโd feel exhausted after a while but I guess in most cases this persuasiveness comes from a natural curiosity and an undying intent to help. I didnโt shy away for one Iโm a native Indian and for other not-asked-for counseling here usually ends up unnoticed in daily life โ and nobodyโs offended of course.
Image source: onmanorama.com
There will be people whoโd definitely want you to buy their wares. If not them at least from someone they know, a familiar face perhaps. And thatโs not freakish either. In this country of surfeit of entrepreneurs, this assertion always help in finding what youโre looking for or at least get help to spend your money without being duped.
Whateverโฆsomehow I found the din around me soothing, restful and quieting. Though enduring at times I didnโt find people behaving rude or pushy. As unforgettable as this journey was I never ran short of warm, helpful and friendly people who did leave a mark on me well after Iโd returned home.
The Colors
One of the first things that caught my eye was the colors. This land was simply a flaming mad riot of colors. Not that itโs unmissable anywhere else in India but here in the desert every village flashing by the window was a shocking clash of hues.
Once on the firmer grounds I was overwhelmed by the charm of simple smiles on weather beaten faces peering closely to greet and get along. Every shade of the rainbow was worn in all combinations possible. From bright blue and hot pink kurtis and lahangas, orange and green dhotis and purple and yellow pajamas splashed with throw backs of hand painted Bandhani and Pichwai art forms, everything Iโd known about color matching simply paled into oblivion. Clashing hues were just everywhere to electrify anybody with a shock of color in stark contrast to the dusty streets.
As if this wasnโt enough patterns of elephants, flowers and camels in every nook and cranny of dust laden avenues and difficult driveways besides tassels and blingy mirrors on draperies in shops, saris and angrakhas, made me turn around for a second look every time I strolled by. The spectacular array of jewellery from enormous nose rings, heavy anklets, and ostentatious rings would make anyone feel shabby and under-dressed in comparison. And unlike what people think, all this stuff is actually delightfully comfortable. The use of cotton and loose tailoring is snug comfy and cool even in temperatures of 40โ+. And removing slippers or sandals when entering a shop or temple means you get plenty of barefoot time as well!
It wasnโt exactly a muggy day but warm enough. And I felt wonderful!
The Food
I have always known India as a paradise for vegetarians, but I didnโt quite realize how spectacular it could be until now. I know I must have only tried a minute fraction of the amazing food served up across India, but what I ate here simply blew me away. It changed everything I have known so far about the food in this country. For the first time I was taken aback. The food here surprised me with its brazenly fantastic flavor combinations. Where else would you dare add paneer tikka to pizza? Could you imagine broccoli, pineapple and cheese curry creating a divine mix of flavors? Or even Cashew nuts and Sultanas (dried green grapes dried to rich golden brown larger than raisins or currants) perfecting a curry base that dances with mind blowing flavors? There is of course nothing subtle about this fusion food but you could never really add much of anything- salt, spice or sugar as well!
Curries apart, I had heard a lot about the fried desserts from the desert. Although I didnโt get to try much, I indulged into a quintessential Rajasthani sweet Ghevar, a honey combed style deep fried delicacy that is delightfully crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. Although I did try to taste as many different sweets as possible, I got caught by the sweet creamy richness of โMohanthalโ. Made from gram flour in a rich fudgy texture, garnished with almonds and pistachios and flavored with cardamom and saffron this sinful desert quickly became my hot favorite; one that I couldnโt resist repeating. I have tried this same dish in a variety of ways across the Country but the boldness of the flavors here remains unrivaled.
Dining experience here was akin to Russian roulette. I wasnโt eating some one-size fits all curry bought from a caterer and hastily heated up. Everything was freshly made, took time and would often force me to slowdown. But I reveled in it; I enjoyed myself and loved the good time in this land of diversity and contrasts.
Days later as I return to my comparatively boring Sunday โnot so yumโdinner with only salt and pepper to cheer it up further, I sorely miss my train journey into the wild plains of Thar- the Great Indian Desert. I greatly miss the tumult, the uproar, the crinkly smiles, the humble whisperings and the ever helpful hands.
Guess I couldnโt long more for anything than a rerun of the voyage to this vast mystical arid land that promises nothing less than a rollercoaster trip into a whirlwind of colors, curries and commotion.
Imagine the day at the end of timeโฆunfolding for real!
The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes online August 4th, 1997 and every interface for decision-making by humans is removed from strategic defense. Skynet starts to learn at a geometric rate. August 29 1997. Skynet gains self-awareness at 2:14 am Eastern time. Humans try to deactivate it, prompting it to retaliate with a counter value nuclear attack, an event that the future will refer as Judgment Day.
Image source: ‘Where Will Artificial Intelligence Take Us In The Future?; by Bernard Marr in forbes.com
Panic spreads as the Strategic Command tries to pull the plug to stop the end of the World. Three billion human lives are lost on this day- August the 29th. The survivors of the nuclear fire cower and call it the day of reckoning. They are destined to live only to face a new nightmare; the war against the machines.
Skynet a futuristic AI created by Cyberdyne Systems forย SAC-NORAD is hooked to every Defense network computer. New and powerful it is trusted to run as preferred. Aย new order of intelligence Skynet eventually misjudges and begins to see all humans as a threat; not just the ones on the other side. It decides humanโs fate in a microsecond: extermination. It initiates a nuclear war intended to destroy most of the mankind, and commences a program ofย genocideย against survivors. Skynet uses its resources to gather a slave labor force from surviving humans as well.
For me it’s a bit unrealistic that Skynet just after the moment it became self aware began its attack on humans thinking of them as enemy. I think it would have been wiser for Skynet to wait out until a real chance of total annihilation came its way. This makes me doubt Skynet intelligence. Was it a bug in Skynetโs core program, or did the program simply evolve even beyond its imagination of its own?
If youโve never seen the Terminator films, this wouldnโt probably mean much to you. But if you have, you might realize what August 29th has to do with IT as we know it. Or maybe the question should be, what doesnโt it have to do with IT?
The rapidly evolving artificial intelligence has once again underlined the uneasy questions that were once considered confined to speculative fiction. What if some day AI systems start to โthinkโ like humans? Would they also be able to understand and encounter first-hand experiences like humans? Will we be adequately equipped to thwart something as devastating as Dooms day?
Artificial intelligenceย as we know is primarily a subset ofย AI that uses generative models to produce text, images, videos, or other forms of data.ย These modelsย learnย the underlying patterns and structures of theirย initial set of data and use them to produce new dataย based on the input.
Apparently Skynetโs intelligence was in a budding stage.ย What followed I guess, was simply a result of the โgeometric“ increase in its learning power. It definitely wasnโt designed to evolve the way it did. Thereโs no way either to explain why it went rogue when no compelling or intense code was fed in at the time of its genesis.
If AI Turns Conscious- Will it announce itself?
In 2021, Blake Lemoine from Google made headlines when he claimed that LaMDA, the Chabot heโd been testing, had turned responsive and was capable of feeling. Artificial intelligence systems like LaMDA- short for Language model for dialogue applications and ChatGPT certainly seem alive. Their instructions though flow from vast amounts of initial data to imitate human responses.
So how can we really know? Is there a way to know for sure that an AI has turned sentient?
Iโm afraid there is not much to suggest that an AI has become self-aware except a shaky and so far untested framework to size up an increasingly human like conduct. Even more worrisome is the fact that AI may evolve human consciousness as we know into other forms and mimic response- differently this time.
In short there is no way to prove but only suggest that an AI is alive unless it determines to act according to its own biases or preferences based on self-learned patterns.
Image source: ‘Can AI become self aware? in free-barcode.com
Ghost in the Machines!
Generative AI has been a โnormalโ part of our daily lives ever since Dall-E and ChatGPT. Dall-E is an open AI system that can create realistic images and art from a description in natural language while Chat GPT is an โunbelievableโ, โunhingedโ, and some say โunsettlingโ AI chatbot which interacts in a conversational way. Only recently during a NY Times tech columnist conversation with Bing (powered by ChatGPT) the AI reportedly said it wanted to be alive!
So, with the speed at which AI is evolving, how far are we from it gaining sentience? And if or when it does, what next?
A sobering truth is that sentient AI prevails as a technology that has turned self aware, is conscious of its surroundings and shockinglyโฆunderstands empathy. In other words itโs capable of thinking, feeling and experiencing the world. Thatโs where the line between fiction and reality begins to blur fast.
The Good and the Bad: Peering into the unknown
The mere thought of a living AI is unsettling but once the cat gets out a whole new layer of sentience is fated to start moving. On one hand while an awakened AI with proper etiquette and bedside manners supposedly means a powerful support to industry, verticals, health-care, on the other an enhanced sustainability in virtually any business-to-consumer segment is not entirely off the cards.
But what lies on the other side is creepy and scarier.
Sometimes itโs difficult to come up with a reason for something unfamiliar and โdarkโ unfolding. You can say that we will find a way out but itโs still quite an โIfโ. When an AI turns sentient itโs very likely that it will begin making decisions on its own. It could even break free of human control. Since its judgment may significantly differ from its counterpart, one possibility is that it attempts to fake human emotions to its advantage. Whether it feels those emotions or not is irrelevant. If things take turn for worse and it decides to take over the World it may even fall back on enslaving or outright killing of the people who created it.
As I see it for the most part how a conscious AI responds will depend on its behavioral conduct. As far as we can tell, itโs completely โdarkโ inside although it can look at, remember and even mimic a human response on seeing the same ripe tomato that I can look at and not forget.
Image source: ‘The Religion of Artificial Intelligence (RAI): The Formation of Consciousness in Artificial Intelligence and Intelligent Machines’ by En Doa in medium.com
Thereโs nothing it is like for a sentient AI to do so. It simply doesnโt experience doing anything. But, if we assume a large enough storage base and fast enough computing technology, perhaps hundreds of thousands or even millions of self-aware AI will swarm the World if it chooses to replicate. Isnโt this a good enough possibility of an overwhelmed mankind as we know by an artificial intelligence that has decided to go on a sanitizing rampage?
There is nothing more liberating than not caring about what other people think of us. And yet itโs still so hard not to wonder, or worse worry how people keep us in mind. Sometimes we go a step further and let these perceptions hold us back from doing things we so badly want to do in life.
Image source: us.yonka.com
Does this mean that weโre afraid of embarrassing ourselves in front of those we havenโt met or may never see again? Is there something that stops us from living our lives to an absolute full? Why do we let any of this happen to us and whoโs to decide if weโre good enough or not to be happy?
For me, everything that we do sums up to us only and everything else is just somewhat of an excuse. I have always had a passion for self development. And yet I endured months of anxiety and worries wondering about my abilities to do the right stuff. With that spell of unease behind me havenโt I started writing without caring for the end? What if no one reads my piece? Do I care if people think of this as silly of me and a waste of time?
In short, I simply love doing what I do. Iโve put aside the misery and hiccups that follow discovering something anew. If you ask me, if there is something you love doing, then do it. There is so much of ability and confidence that flows thereafter. It would let you truly enjoy your moment- meant only for you and not for anyone else.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about sprucing up and adding value to my life. Sometimes itโs been about correcting my ways to reach a cherished end; sometimes it concerned my well being, getting in better shape or even taking care of relationships. The ultimate purpose was to be happy and fulfilled. So I thought, why not agree to a condition that might come up with a best possible end?
I think an easy way to do that is to โDo more of the things you love and less of the things you likeโ. If you think your life needs a makeover, itโs the only way you can make it happen. Just as much you should cut back on things you like to make room for what you love, you should also cut back on the shoulds.
You Need To Be Kinder To Yourself
I quit jogging at 50 when I found it was hurting my knees and feet and I could no longer keep up. It had occurred to me how important moving outside was to my mental health.
Today I start the day with a half-mile mindful walk, noticing and appreciating my surroundings all the while. Itโs hard to tell what difference it has made to my perspective on what really matters in life. I guess Iโm now drawn closer to myself. I feel contended and in good mood always since Iโm grateful for all that I have. Itโs like relishing a cup of hot cappuccino in bed on weekend morning and a good movie to look ahead to later in the day. No caveats and no Monday blues to worry about!
Altogether, briefer and gentler bouts of activity have left a positive impact on my mental health.
Yet, I guess there is even more to this!
For most of us, the first experience of organized physical activity comes at school at an age when weโre too dumb assed to speculate about how any of it helps in our well being.
โIs it something that Iโve chosen to do in my leisure time, or something that I have to do at school?โ Woefully, I myself could never find the answer to that. Years later when in College I discovered that strength based exercise was the most clinically meaningful way to experience the uplifting effects of any activity.
Itโs so easy to recognize that any form of exercise, physical or intellectual does not โhappenโ only to our physical self but touches our sensibilities too. There are times when even getting out of bed feels like an achievement. And yet there’s always enough room for redress. All you need is, be self-forgiving and gentler to yourself. Howsoever twisted things have been for you, youโll always find a way out.
Trust me; you will be back on your feet in no time.
So stop hurting yourself. It wonโt be long before youโll feel driven by a strong reason or desire to do something worthwhile.
All of this sounds mighty obvious. But to be happy, you ought to be doing things thatโd make you happy.
Image source: pexels.com
Ok, But What If You Are Just Too Worn Out?
What would you do when you want to do something that you think youโll enjoy but simply canโt because you have little energy left in you? You are unenthused, beaten and just too tired to care. Of course itโs effortless to do the easiest thing like surfing the net or watching videos mindlessly for hours but these thoughtless activities do little or nothing to pep up anything.
Here are two things I guess will work as great fixes for you;
Donโt worry about anything
Worrying about how you spend your time is likely to tire you out even more and make you feel guilty for having missed so much. Sometimes, you may not be left with enough energy to bounce around and might settle to watch videos for awhile.
And thatโs Ok. Lying low or sitting tight for a little while is restorative, builds you up and clears the decks for you.
So, set a good intention for yourself and enjoy the time you have.
Itโs important to โthink but not worryโ
Whenever I reminded myself that I could be losing ground or falling short, a sense of guilt about how Iโve spend my time, would overwhelm me. It went on like this for years. Perhaps I had tried to turn the things I want to do into things I have to do.
Seeโฆif you donโt meet an obligation youโll feel bad and would probably try to amend. But if you donโt make everything an obligation, youโre less likely to feel bad because you canโt do everything.
Today not everything is an obligation for me. I am reminded of that when I find me saying โI should do this and should do thatโ.
It’s down to you in the end. Youโd rather do well to get down and fill more of your time with the things you enjoy doing. And be mindful of this intent because it is a helpful reminder that your time is often limited by things beyond your control.
Not intrigued yet? Imagine it this way! Youโve never attempted to run a marathon or tried water-skiing without a life jacket. Even mere thought of attempting fails to excite you. Youโre as incurious and disinterested like always. And itโs highly likely that youโll endure unchanged. Even so you can count on this;
Image source: ‘How to Instantly Lift Your Mood’ by Elizabeth Scott in verywellmind.com
You are more likely to regret not watching the sunset because you were too busy with your phone or doing things you werenโt passionate about but because you were too busy worrying about unlocking a lot of hidden joys.
You wouldn’t know but ‘Happiness is so much closer than you think‘!
โWords, once spat out, can not be swallowed back.โ Your every word has an impact and every bump stirs a reaction. Sometimes when youโre conveying the right thing, the way you speak and the tone you use can hurt others badly. So much so, they will never want to see you let alone talk to you again. The intent may be right, but the tone of your voice makes it unbearable to listen or speak. It simply means you need to watch out for what you speak.
I still remember, as a kid I was constantly reminded to say โpleaseโ and โthank youโ at appropriate moment. I was taught to share and care for others. I was schooled to be polite and benevolent, indulgent and well mannered. Unfortunately there were times when this oddity would fail me. Every trick and trait I had picked up would simply go out of the window. Not always, but sometimes, Yes!
All through my formative years it looked like I couldnโt deliver a prompt comeback during arguments or crucial conversations. Moments later, Iโd replay everything in my mind hastily trying to craft an elaborate response that would put the other person right in their place.
But at cross roads, harsh words would blow off my steam.
Woefully, the โopportunityโ to reclaim the lost comeliness never arrived. I always felt left alone, weak and inferior as if Iโd lost a battle I should have won. What I didnโt see was the incredible gift of patience and self-control I was blessed with.
Life had begun challenging me. I had to put in more effort into saying the right things at the right time. I was careful to leave unsaid the wrong things at the most tempting moments.
There are countless reasons why we at times are unmindful of our manners. A bad day perhaps, colleagues, teacher, spouse, siblings, or things did not go the way we wanted them to. For whatever reason, sometimes we are mean and unkind with words and hurt those around us.
So, are you mindful of your words or is tongue lashing Ok with you? Do you think twice before they start betraying you? How do you keep our cheeky tongue in check!
Here are five easy tips to keep in mind when conversing- be it at work, with friends, or with family- to help save your day.
Speak your heart not your mind
As I grew up, I felt I was being counseled befittingly. โIf you have nothing nice to say, donโt say anything at all.โ I was taught when to hold my tongue and be polite. It made me falter in making a point or create a change. Sometimes when I say nothing at all, I would get walked on.
Today though, โnot saying anything at allโ fails to influence others.
On the other hand, those who dare to โspeak their mindโ are looked on with favor. The problem is that sometimes it comes sans any iota of empathy. And that causes more harm than good.
Is there a way to find the balance between saying nothing and getting walked on, and saying something and being a jerk?
The middle ground I guess is where the heart is. Instead of speaking your mind, speak your heart because itโs always able to find the best way. It tells you when to say something and when to hold back. It knows what to say so that you donโt get walked on. It knows whether to say something at all so that you donโt walk on others.
Besides it saves you all the arrogance, haughtiness, aggression, hostility, defensiveness. And it takes you down the highest though not necessarily the easiest road.
Image source: ‘Feeding your brain with food and beyond’ in healthydigz.com
Put simply donโt speak your mind. Speak your heart. Youโll prevail.
Sometimes itโs Ok to Step back a liโl
I know โletโs take a step back and think over โฆโ is very colloquial and not many would agree to it. Still backing off a little for a while harms nobody. It only allows you to think over and come out in a calm and reasonable way. Pulling back is only a metaphorical step back. It tells you when to stop. It implores you to think about what youโre about to speak and weigh your options before you say anything.
When you are upset and had a bad day, pause and distance yourself from a situation so as to have a new perspective. Take a step back when you are about to go all guns blazing at anyone or everyone who seems to be irking you for no reason. Trust me youโll be more unbiased and less emotionally involved. Split-second outburst is notorious for causing more damage than a 2-minute break from tongue wagging.
And yes, the implication is that the other person also gets the chance to view the situation in a new or better way,
Image source: ‘Order Of Man Podcast’ in orderofman.com
Stand your ground stoutly but calmly
To be outspoken, insistent and pushy is a simple but less-used trait of many. Assertiveness is all about knowing how to treat others while standing up for your conviction. This means nothing less than giving respect to others they deserve while holding on to your own.
Being persuasive also enables us to stand up for others when needed and when to say โNoโ. But thereโs a marked difference between being feisty and behaving offensive. This is the line you need to watch out for. Be aware when to stand your ground and when to apologize if you think youโve fallen through.
Never put someone down.
As a kid, I would get a buzz out of teasing my pals at school. Iโd love to make fun to the point where sometimes I guess it was cruel. Intentional or not, I did hurt my play mates. Not that I was anywhere near then to knowing to what Iโd done. But certainly this was not something noble to be endured.
An unkind word or an unruly act can scar for life. A simple reflection on someoneโs stature or skin color sounds harmless. But it can damage the identity of the person to whom these comments are aimed.
Image source: ; Mind Your Tongue’ by Ignatius Deepak Stanley in artofhowto.com
Replace perverse words with pleasant ones. Hurtful words have long life and verbal insults are like mini slaps. So, youโll do well if you remember this; It is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice.
Trust me, you won’t ever fall flat.
Donโt judge. Live the moment.
Every so often donโt we forget to take notice and respect the feelings of others especially when upset or in haste? Being mindful helps to mellow the harsh reality of the moment and shows others the respect they deserve.
Stay grounded and respectful and this will be your gentle way to make sure that others donโt get hurt just as quickly as you.
Image source: ‘6 Essential Problem-Solving Skills You Need’ in online.edhec.edu
Over the years Iโve learned to stand back from delicate and thorny situations altogether. Iโm determined to set aside exposition of my opinion for good. I have made many mistakes but Iโve also understood to change the way I speak and I donโt think I have ever hurt anybody since then. I guess a wrong remark always leaves a horrible mark. Itโs better to bite your tongue than to say something that youโll regret later.
So, be careful to care and save yourself from a reign of rash, rude words and all that that ends in a reckless ruin.
How would you describe your life? Have you achieved everything you have dreamed of? Are you OK with your feats? Do you see yourself as a success? How do you see at your future?
Image source: ‘Time for change’ by Kimberly McLemore in wsbillc.com
Baffling and tricky! YeahโฆBut when it comes to which direction your life is moving, itโs good to spend a day heart-searching looking for answers.
ย I tried and this is how it went for me.
โIf I come to your place and spend just one day with you, Iโd be able to tell ย whether or not you need a change in something you do daily. Iโll be up with you in the morning and walk through the day with you. I will watch you for 24 hours. And I could tell everything about how youโve steered your life so far and which way itโs headedโ;Crowing loud my close friend would often put across his point when in deep conversation about life accomplishments. He would then spend some time zealously searching my face for approval.ย
Whateverโฆ we never agreed on certain perspectives.
Those were the college days then. Today given a chance Iโd readily pitch in. I have understood clearly that if I keep doing what Iโve always done, Iโll keep getting what Iโve always gotten.
Living a full life requires changing myself and thatโs not going to happen until I change my ways. In effect, if I want something done, then Iโd have to go after it until I make it happen.
By Changing Nothing, Nothing Changes
We all want things to change for good. To live a full life, to be successful, to not let our thoughts get in the way of the things we want for us and lastly-to just be happy.
To grow and gain is everybodyโs heartfelt wish. But when you couldnโt manage to get bigger, taller and larger, you feel like youโve been re-living the same space over and over again. Frustration swallows all sense of ease. Nothing seems to move ahead in the way it should. You earnestly hope if only you just scram out of the box and get moving.
Thereโs some great news in here though.
It all validates that you do have a yen for making that possible.ย Right!
Unfortunately it doesnโt work like that. You need to decide, you need to move.
I ruled myself to slow down to regain my lost appetite for a good life. Days were getting dreary and unexciting. All I wanted was to bring in some change in my time by what I was doing every day. From sitcoms and serials to FB to Instagram to best-sellers, I had already used all sorts of things to dismiss feeling of dismay. Still nothing would work for me. Iโd start to think more about what was happening as Iโd turn on the TV and my mind would turn off. I would plan to watch just one episode, but when I came to the end of it, Iโd find myself unable to stop. It was as if I couldnโt take in any other choice. I was watching everything without exactly digesting them.
Was this the time for a change?
Image source: ‘Guidance to Young Adults’ Individual Journey’ in mentor4me.org
The sense of reparation and contentment would come only after I resolved to change what I was doing in my everyday life. Progress seemed impossible without that. I wonโt deny I was unwilling at first to change because it hurts. It hurts to be on the cutting edge. But it also hurt to be left behind in the times. So, I decided to put things right. I thought I as well get on with the changes that need to be made. It took me some guts to leave the ruts. In turn I was left with enough time to digest my surroundings and live the experiences.
Guess this was the best crossover ever for me. I was finally happy… as a clam!
It All Comes Down to What You do Daily
I honestly think that nothing ever changes in life until you change something you do every day. I strongly believe that every bit of success is determined by your daily plan of things to be done. Success just doesnโt suddenly happen one day in someoneโs life and neither does the failure. Every day is merely the prep for the next. What youโll be tomorrow is what you do today.
My mom would often tell me as I grew up, โYou can pay now, and play later, or you can play now and pay later. But either way, youโll pay.โ Her counsel didnโt mean much then. I was too cocky to listen to her advice. Itโs only after she was gone that I could make a sense of it all.ย โYou can take it easy and do what you want today, but if you do, your life will be harder laterโ. My bad! My sensibilities had failed me then.
Image source: ’52 Quotes that will remind you not to settle for less’ by Leigh Weingus in silkandsonder.com on Jan.11-2022.
Think about it. What means most to you; today or tomorrow? Are you in the habit of paying before playing? Find answer to these questions and youโll know what tomorrow holds for you.
Sometimes I find it way too easy to watch too much TV but very difficult to watch the right amount. Of course, there is no fixed answer to this; โwhatโs the correct amount?โ because it all depends on my urge to keep watching.
It nonetheless is pretty easy to know when youโve had enough. If you are in touch with yourself, you can listen to yourself and know when your appetite is sated.
The key to building a better life is no different. All it needs is to be in an intimate contact with yourself; one thatโs open to embrace change and different in every way from an unhealthy harmful addiction.
Tossing out my yesterday, I have decided to have a week-end night off from watching TV. I donโt turn it on and it amazes me how much time I am left with. I do the chores willingly and feel satisfied by the ordinary at the end of the day. Everyday experience of contributing something useful to my life rather than escaping it overwhelms me. I feel more wanted on evenings like that and not so many lost to TV.
But does it have to be all or nothing? Can you stay connected to your appetite and find your way to an amount that feels right?
Remember, nothing will change until you do. And you can change absolutely anything you want to; your situation, your lifestyle and even โWhoโ you are.
Yeah! Thatโs more like me as a kid. Unfortunately, there werenโt too many photo opportunities handy way back in days of late 50โs. I couldnโt treasure my childhood days like others, much less realize the worth of it all then.
I am not that cute anymore. And whatever you think of me from that smile on the face, I wasnโt the happiest kid. Oh! GeezโฆI was happy in a way. Everything around me was plentiful and life was fun. But from a very young age I was always a serious and focused child. Kids around me meanwhile looked unconcerned, lighthearted and freewheeling. The air around them smelled carefree and easy going. Incurious, I still did well by remaining absorbed, watchful and all wrapped up, in my formative years.
Over the years I have focused on my lifeโs purpose. People would often judge me as hard headed in thinking and carefully involved in my ways. Yet as I grew up Iโve also become much happier and more positive. I owe this brighter side of me more to a benevolent attitude and a bent for doing good. I think once you embrace this shift itโs easy to find out how uncomplicated that change can be.
Image source: ‘Keeping Your Mental Health in Bloom This Summer’ by Daisy Coggin in studentnews.manchester.ac.uk on 28 May 2024.
You Canโt Change Your Life Until You Change it
Life comes in seasons that change and so does everyone. Sometimes this change comes as a big one for many. Marriage or divorce, moving to a new city, committing to a partner, buying house or even starting a family; all are significant choices. Nothing matters more. For obdurates others , change means encountering far reaching experiences. Emotional health, scuttled relationship, retiring, new career, or moving across the country are all unusual events. Even debating with whom to invest your time is just another extraordinary occurrence.
Should I just start my life over? What if I simply move to some place quieter or travel? What should I be doing with my life? Is this really what I want for myself? When you mull over or examine your priorities like this, itโs only natural to question your choices. But if you yearn hard enough, itโs quite possible to make a new start any time. Besides itโs always OK to not know where youโre going next. After all, we all get one life to live. And we are always on the run to find the best version of ourselves.
Image source: stock.adobe.com
Sometimes itโs hard to know exactly why you want a change. It’s also difficult to find out how big a change you’re looking for. But if you intend to live a more intentional life, it’ll be awful to miss the possibility. Living the same life tomorrow repeats the life youโve lived yesterday. This keeps you anchored to the same life you are living today. Even so if youโre looking for a transformative change, something about you need to change.
Living a truly contented life isnโt as tricky as you think. In fact itโs more of an art than some inquisitive instinct. Everybody have their own way to tap into their own happiness. For me happiness is a choice, a lifestyle that I consciously prefer to lead. Itโs my way of keeping spirits high and heart content.
And trust me, itโs worth it.
Try to make someone smile and youโll know what I mean. Once you shed your unease, your day begins to unfold a wee bit better. It gets way easier to endure. Itโs winsome for you each time you get involved.
Soโฆ when was the last time you made someone smile?
Image source: stock.adobe.com
Everyone runs into bad days one time or the other. Sometimes, all thatโs needed is a smile from someone else to pep up and turn your day around. Making someone happy not only makes them feel good. It also lifts you from valley lows. And you feel no less good either.
Smile is a pretty contagious attribute. When you see someone happy and wreathed in smiles, itโs hard not to smile back. Itโs possible that youโve had a difficult day. Youโve been tired, grumpy, and feeling awful. You think youโve an unwilling world around you to fight back. But then someone smiles at you or does something really nice for you. Suddenly your day doesnโt feel so bad anymore.
Now that youโre with me so far, you must be wondering how I went about it. Here are few ideas that worked pretty well for me and I guess so will they for you.
Make someoneโs Day. It Just Make Yours
Hard to say when I acquired an intuitive wish to be helpful and strive to bring few upbeat moments in someoneโs life. But somehow it did happen along the way. Interestingly, the enormity of what I was trying to live by would not hit me until I read this story. It was to change my life forever.
There was this man who lived a few miles away high in the hilly terrain from the Ganges in Himalayan foothills. One day, embittered by deprivations and denial of people around him he walked those few miles to the bridge, jumped and drowned. As the police investigated the fatality in the ensuing days, they found a note that the man had left on his bed.
It read: โIโm going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump today.โ
Nobody smiled. Helplessness and desolation finally pushed him past the breaking point to take his own life.
Months later, only now I fully understand the power of a smile โ โit can truly change and even save a lifeโ.
So smile, say โHelloโ; itโs free and infectious. When you smile at someone most likely youโll get a smile back. Itโs one simple beginning to make someoneโs day for almost no effort on your part.
Make Your Move and Start Over
This is huge. Committing to make a change is not easy. It comes with its up and downs. But starting over afresh doesnโt mean youโve lost everything youโve learned, gained, and experienced. In fact, itโs quite the opposite. Your past has brought you to where you are today. And youโre lucky enough to be wiser than you were just a few months ago.
On my part, I used what I knew best; โmyselfโ. I walked over a few slow steps to go back to the beginning and herald a change. Iโd rather bet an entire day’s slog to see a wrinkled unhappy face crack a smile in a brief moment of heartsease. I would find delight in seeing a hesitant broken smile wiping away the sullen looks on faces as long as a fiddle. It didnโt matter for how long. For me, one moment is just as good as many.
I honestly meant to start โlivingโ.
โI love your shoes!โ or โYou have a beautiful smile.โ Few simple heartfelt words to utter as I walk past someone on the street. And I would know I had stirred someone to cheer up. When in line at a store and I see the person behind me only has a few items, Iโd offer to let them get ahead. I ‘d notice see a momentary glint in the eyes and a broad smile on the face. Itโs always polite to say please and thank you, but it means much more coming from a stranger. So whenever somebody did something nice for me, I made sure to express my gratitude. I learned to laugh together. I would do whatever it needed to make someoneโs life a bit easier. Sometimes when someoneโs going through a tough time or just having a bad day, a hug was all that made all the difference. I would even try to help out anyone struggling with something. ย Every diminutive effort brought a restful moment in lives around me . ย
These small acts of gratitude and empathy never failed me in communicating a hint of reassurance and comfort to all.
Image source: stock.adobe.com
Over the time with a bit of thoughtfulness and effort I have managed to regain sway over values that helped in my transformation. Itโs no longer hard to promise myself another field day and make someone smile.
Give yourself a chance for now. Someday you will be grateful for having voted for a change.
Do you know that words have both inimical and obliging powers? I am reminded of this daily when I surf the net or blog or tweet. But even I admit to not always realizing their power outside of my world. Of course Iโm constantly aware of this in my own life. Those quarter of a million distinct words are infinite and pretty powerful. Once you put them out there, they stay out โthereโ.
Image source: stock.adobe.com
The other day I was harshly reminded of the power of words in life. I was having a hurried conversation with my junior during the morning brief. โHowโre you doing?โ a standard morning sun-up brief is customary before the day work starts.โI feel gross; itโs been a hard weekend. I couldnโt manage grocery as Iโd been out of town on an errand. I couldnโt manage dinner last night either as Iโd little time left for it. I also had to cut short my work out to squeeze in other choresโ.
Damn! What a crass way to start a new week!
I had willfully completely given a miss to the fact that Iโd actually spent an amazing weekend with friends. But what I had said was a mistake. I had fumbled and screwed up everything; my words sounded anarchic. Nothing I said thereafter would rescue me. Was this a simple misunderstanding or was I thoughtless enough to falsify my reply without thinking twice? I wouldnโt know for sure. Yes, I had been away for the day and had obviously missed the grocery. I was left with little time for dinner and no extra space for a work out.
WhateverโฆMon mornโ already felt doomed. What Iโd said was ruinous. The day was done for. I could already imagine him walking away feeling bad for having asked in the first place and worse -for reaching out to me. I faintly hoped that his conduct was mere intuitive and desperately wished it to fade away quickly.
Weeks later I realized one single thing quite clearly; your words speak for themselves. Let them do the talking and you wonโt go overboard ever.
Anyone can mess up words when talking
After two uninteresting boring bouts of aging at 44 and 55, we all turn prone to messing up with our memory prowess. It begins to struggle and words start to give us a slip every so often. You may mean blanket, but would actually say pillow; you meant hands, but would say fingers instead. Interestingly you donโt mess up much when you slow down a bit and prefer to pick up a related word or gesture.
I have also noticed people stumbling occasionally when reading out loud; nothing complex-just simple words and sentences. Oddly this isnโt uncommon. I remember also having stumbled so often when speaking out aloud in college seminars and forums. Perhaps I was being mindful of the people around me; perhaps I was averse to yelling. Whatever, I always pray for my memory cache to stay intact.
I did some digging lately though and found out that the right words always have a forceful impact of your legacy on others and the World around you. If you let the words do the talking for you instead of you being in the lead; youโll become what they say you are.
If You Want Others to Listen, Stop Talking
There are a few of us who just luv to talk about things that they believe others need to hear. Itโs not always about the sound of their voice alone. When they talk they typically do not do a whole lot of listening themselves and certainly not a lot of learning either.
This is a good enough reason why you will want to talk less. Let the words do it more andย youโll be looked upon as a cut above conversationalist. Soon people will start to open up more to your point of view when you do speak. And yes! You will get to learn something new as well.
By talking less and listen more, I now refashion my part of the conversation to be more about โlearningโ than lecturing.โ I have realized that the words that I interact with know something that I donโt.
Image source: pexel.com
Youโll know if youโre easy to talk to
If youโre approachable, friendly, warm, open-minded, and empathetic, you can earn the respect and trust of everybody around you for sure. To an unassuming listener, respect and admiration are not hard to come by once they start to encourage others to speak about them.
Think back the last time you went out on a nighttime soiree and came back home all smug and flushed with contentment, โWow, I did enjoy myself. I had some great conversations and they were really interesting.โ
How much did you talk about yourself, and how much did they speak about themselves?
Nice and all that in every way, youโll find that speaking less but clearly helps in avoiding unhappy upsetting situations. To me it was more than that. A hard won assertiveness had won me the ability to speak up for myself- constructively and positively.
Not doubting any further and absolutely assured, I let the words to become my voice.
The best part about this whole thing was to come later. I can now have more pleasant exchanges, little or no disagreements and definitely no duels.
As I became more mindful of my words I stopped cursing, insulting or damning. For the first time in my life, I found myself committed to using โpleaseโ and โthank youโ. I even found the softness so necessary for a disarming tone!
For once not only my voice but words had begun to speak kindly.
Image source: ‘Smart cities for aging societiesโ’ in 4euplus.eu on 6 Mar. 2019.
Youโre less likely to say anything dumb or regrettable
Weโve all been there.
Not every conversation is casual or comfortable. It will never be. Few can be quite challenging; especially when youโre deeply involved in a chat over something youโre so passionate about and unwittingly go off on a tangent. You wouldnโt realize you havenโt clicked and would continue to brag until some disapproving retort stops you right in your tracks.
Mincing words can often make a bit of a fool out of you. Of course your unsavory opinion does not really represent how you think and feel. But with fewer words and pricked up ears, you tend to evolve better. Once silver tongued, youโll be adored remarkably, wonโt choke on your words or ever be tongue tied.
Besides youโd be less likely to say something that leaves you blushing.
You can keep your cards close to heart
Conversations die pretty quick but their impact stays. At times you will strongly disagree with the view point of others but an argument is the last thing youโd want out of it. Avoid conflict and you can steer clear of any negative impact it will have on your bearings. You will also get to learn more about how and why their view points collide with yours.
Speaking less and listening more is an amazing way to hold your opinions close to your heart and dig deeper into the mindset of others. To few itโs dull and unimaginative and lacks interest but I think sometimes boring and uneventful is good. It helps you to be in sync with every โbog standardโ around you. It upholds your influence and makes your presence more impactful.
Image source: hotelcoraldigha.com
If youโre still with me and keen to become a masterful persuader, then I guess youโve come of age and are eagerly looking ahead for self betterment. Not counting the uncanny ability of words to move a roomful of people to your perspective, your redoing and reshaping will be a pretty powerful way to influence your surroundings.
My take on this! Iโve learned to live beside my words and ainโt spoiled for any choice either. Talking through words hasnโt opened any door to sin for me.
In fact, I have given myself the privilege to live better and bolder.
The mind-bending weirdness of numberโzeroโ is best described as โthe absence of something is a thing, in and of itself”.
Unbelievably the laptop, Mac, microcomputer or any other device youโre reading this on right now runs on a binary. A string of zeros and ones! Without zero there is no calculus, no automation and no electronics. In fact sans zero much of the world around us would literally go belly-up.
Zeroโs discovery is considered equivalent to us learning an โAlienโ or fictional language. During the night when we look up into the sky we see nothing but โoblivionโ. From this nihility or zero, a scattering shower of electromagnetic radiation flows down to us right from the deep space. In the darkest emptiness Iโd say there is always โsomethingโ unspoiled and yet to be mapped out!
A true zero I think is perhaps the first hint of an absolute nothingness.
For most part people usually do not understand any of this. Zero is not innate to us. We invented it and quite wittingly have kept passing it on to the next generation. Above and beyond this incredible breakthrough, thereโs something thatโd surprise you more. Would you believe that even tiny bee brains can compute zero? Only humans though were capable of seizing zeroโs worth and forge it into an impeccable tool for all time.
Just to tickle your fancy, if bumblebees can distinguish between ‘greaterthan and lesser than‘ quantitiesincluding zero, it should be enough to float your boat as well. You have the capabilities to cut the mustard and thrive. But nothingโs more fascinating than the fact that โzeroโ has amazing the ability to spring surprises. It does so quite quickly when it comes to our choices and decisions affecting our lives.
Hereโs how;
The โzero effectโ: The strength of preference matters.
Like all of you, I also have had my share of problems and difficulties. I had always experienced relentless work-related stress till it was time to โquitโ. I tried meditation to start with – something that I had never thought about before. Maybe I didn’t feel the need or was not motivated enough to do it. I had though read books, blogs, and video shorts on techniques involved there. I was aware of the practice all the time but didnโt know when to do it. Work, personal projects, deadlines, and personal life- everything was taking its toll and weighed heavy. Yep! Grudgingly I had bowed myself to the misery of daily grind.
Working through late nights I had compromised my morning routine. I was practically pushing myself from early hours till late evening. Rushed brunches and bites would hastily find some space in between; no exercises of course! Even so, I felt stranded. I consoled myself that I will be more productive if I focused on my work more. I believed that things would turn for the better if I sacrificed my freedom a wee bit more.
StillโฆIt simply wouldnโt work for me!
Image source: ‘Tips for a better night’s sleep in fitshop.nl
I was getting tired easily. I couldnโt focus and had barely any space for relaxation. Sometimes I couldnโt sleep and would keep thinking the whole night.
Whatโs wrong with me? Why am I failing? Why couldnโt I do well and earn the wings? Why am I not living a full life? How will I satisfy myself?
My brain wouldnโt quit buzzing the whole night until it would just go blank in the wee hours. I would sleep uneasy for couple of hours thereafter and wake up heavy headed and sluggish.
Then one fine morning something extraordinary happened;
It was 5:30 am of a wintry morning. Darkness was fading and the light was taking over.ย โEnough is enoughโ; I told myself. โIโd have to own everything, take responsibility and be answerable to none else but meโ. I went for a jog, came back after 45 mins, took shower and got dressed. Then I sat down in a corner of my house in total silence. I closed my eyes and began to focus on my breath. I tried to trace back the origin of every thought. I wanted to find out why I was thinking the way I was. I will hear my mind spelling out every thought loud and clear- over and over again. I saw what an utter chaos it was. Was I was worried about every damn thing in the world? Isnโt there more to live for than drinks and nibbles? It was like I was in the middle of a battleground.
Distraught I opened my eyesโฆit was only for 5 minutes but weighed heavy like an hour. I felt good though. I guess I had taken the first step.
ย Itโs been 8 years since. I dare say that meditation didnโt solve any of my problems either then or later. In fact it felt irrelevant to anything I was experiencing. It would though help me to calm down and start afresh to think from quite a few perspectives.
Today, Iโm having better sleep and focus my energy on things that matter most. The morning routine fares well and helps me aplenty. At 5 in the morning I wouldnโt find anybody on the roads. I feel free; I feel ahead. When I come back, I take a lazy shower. I ruminate a little over a cup of tea. Later, I stuff myself with a sumptuous breakfast. Then I sit quietly in the backyard and I feel Iโve conquered the world. Iโm all pumped up now to butt my head into every challenge that comes my way during the day. Iโm relentless to finish whatever I decide to do.
What more is there to ask for?
By mid-day when I think Iโve had enough, I would sit back and take a breather.
It is then I feel like a winner. I feel unstoppable!
Image source: ‘Women Travelling Tips’ in merisaheli.com
You can add zero to any number to your successes
Sometimes we can’t get what we need. Itโs very disturbing when things donโt turn out well for us. Something weโve been so certain of can fall flat very quickly and leave us wounded in the heart.
When in turmoil self-doubt takes over. Instinctively heart searching steps in; โIs that it? Have I had enough?โ
To take charge of yourself quit worrying about every detail that torments you in your hard moments. Stop pushing yourself to the limit. It’s quite difficult to escape thoughts though. They keep us returning to the equivalent of “whys” and “whats” over and over again.
Start with a simple โNoโ to any gloom around you if you want to defeat a terrible time. Prep yourself to deal with anything that life tosses at you and endure any success in your stride. By outsmarting the circumstances youโll start to see everything from an alternate perspective and move ahead. So patch yourself โฆyouโre amazing and life will go in the manner youโve arranged it to.
Once youโve arrived this far, stop briefly to adjust and manage your current moment. Your stunners from yesterday do not characterize you. You need to know where youโre coming from. Your incidents are only a faint impression of the life youโve led so far. Youโve the ability to improve them. Stressing over a little now will not hurt you and even save you from more heart breaks and backslides.
Move the world on your fingertips: Why zero is so damn useful!
If you were to make choices that will affect your future, quit agonizing over every other thing . Steal the spotlight for yourself. Record it and play it over and over. Youโll gain from each slip-up or circumstance youโve lived. Whatโs intense for now will make you resilient and strong enough to continue developing and face the unknown stoutly.
It will be easier to move ahead then. Soon it will be plain sailing all the way.
Image source: pexel.com
Honestly not everything occurs for an explanation; every โput-offโ is meant to end with a more meaningful โarrangementโ. Moving away from being nearly non-existent to being very obvious, you tend to own endless quantities of โget-upโ and โgoโ.
I suppose not many would know exactly how good or bad the zero value is. Few will prefer not to react strongly to the choice with zero compared to a near-zero value. ย But you can bet your bottom dollar on this. For a number representing nothing, zero surprisingly has a priceless importance in our lives. Without context, itโs of little interest or concern. But given the time, as a cathartic outcome of a decision;
I am as guilty as anyone of cramming way too much into my life, always trying hard for all that seems โGoodโ. Itโs not that I have a problem saying โNoโ to anything ‘good enough‘; itโs just that I luv to live a full life.
I donโt own a business nor do I imagine myself having one. Itโs been five years since I hung my boots. I try to keep the order and peace of my home because I dearly value a lifestyle that has a little bit of room for little exercise, quality sleep and freedom to fill in relationships and expand my inner circle.
I’m sure you will empathize with my โcurl up in bed and take a napโ attitude-it’s kinda crazy though, unless you have even more than that on your plate. But I am certain youโd agree that itโs difficult enough to find time to juggle all our different commitments and still spare some space for moments of rest! IntriguinglyIโve found out that when I have not made enough time for rest, I not only see a decline in the quality of what I do but my heart is left utterly depleted of fire to get out of my head and knock around into something โGoodโ.
This is interesting because I think we created โrestโ so that we can live with peace and contentment even in the midst of our full lives. Sounds good? But then arenโt we checking ourselves out of reality in the hope that someday weโll be rid of glass-half-full mentality and can appreciate small improvements.
Image source: ‘How Not To Settle For “Just Good Enough”โ When Anything Is Possible by Halle Eavelyn in linkedin.com
Of course thereโs nothing like perfect patience or generosity or empathy or humility. The best that can occur is the consistency of our efforts. A grateful mindset is a great healer. But the problem turns disquieting when it shifts to complacency and the trying stops. This is when โThis is good enough โbecomes a problem because then we tend to forget how good life can actually be.
While this is justifiably frightening, my greatest fear has always been living a typical ordinary life where you settle for something that isnโt everything. The mere thought would abandon me with a pattern of negativity. At one point I thought I had settled with a career that was rewarding but not too safe and a companionship that was comforting and refreshing but not bursting with excitement.
Not that I didn’t come down to moments of hard choice; to leave the cross roads or to let go and bite the bullet.
Many years later with ‘Salad Days over my resolve also changed . Now, every time I decide to give up on my endeavors, Iโd look back and for a strange reason will be happy that I couldnโt. Guess, โGood enoughโ didn’t feel that boring then.
But I wasnโt happy. Maybe I was afraid of being Too Big in the World!
Image source: ‘Why We Settle for Less in RelationshipsโPlus, 9 Signs It’s Happening to You by Stacey Laura Lloyd and Sarah Schreiber in brides.com
Whatโs worse and why?
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you acted on a deep impulse to completely change your life? Have you ever really looked up at how youโd show up in the world? Do you really believe that people need your whole truth behind becoming โGreatโ?
At the outset I never wanted people to see what a hot mess I had to wade through to be a cut above the โaverageโ because I thought it wouldnโt work that way. Nobody would want to judge me on perception alone, at least at first. At times Iโd even deny my right to anything that only belonged to me. Iโd be straining at the very edges of my desires reminding myself the whole time that I didnโt want everything that has been given to me, sure that I wasnโt worthy of โgood thingsโ in any way.
I couldn’t trust what was happening around me. Most importantly, I had asked for everything โbigger and better,โ around me and declared that was what I wanted- aloud.
But was I really ready?
Image source: ‘Opt-In: The Key to Success with Push Notifications in signalize.com
So I dug into all my heart, mindset, inclination and outlook, and chanced upon an amazing insight; what if I took all the explanations I had learned so far- including the biggest and the most powerful ones; piece them together and give ear to everything I was being lead to do.
It felt weird in the beginning but eventually I began to focus more on the positives and also starve the negatives. I learned to appreciate my desired outcomes and would happily let go of my fears.
It was more complicated than Iโve outlined here but gradually everything began to work for my โGoodโ. It was positively a confusing and yet incredibly empowering way ahead, all at once requiring watchful and constant attention. Once I began, I felt being more alive than I had in last forty odd years.
Today it all seems like a lifetime ago, and in a way, it isโฆ Beneath the glass on my writing table, Iโve this penned ; โI Will Live My Truth Onlyโ . I consider this as a reminder to all the grumbles, whines, laments and grief that befell my way. It reminds me of my days in the school of hard knocks, a resolute effort to fit in and a win of inconceivable and the incredible.
Now that Iโve accepted my inner guidance to the point where I donโt make a move without it, Iโve vowed not to settle for โbetterโ anymore than look at it as a momentary rejig in life. Iโm aware things will shift seismically again. And this thought makes me grateful and keeps me alive all the time lest I miss a rendezvous with all the โgood fortuneโ. If thatโs the only lesson I get out of it, I think that’s enough.
But if thereโs more beyond the โvery bestโ, I canโt wait to see what comes next.
Image source: ‘Achieving Your Goals in allyoursuccess.com
What about you? ย Are you struggling with some part of yourself thatโs not Ok with โpassable? What would you choose? Would you settle for less than the best just because it didnโt come your way or you think you donโt deserve? What are you ready to give up that is not alright with you anymore?
If you want things to be different, TRULY different, start thinking that youโre capable of โgreat exploitsโ; pin hope on nobody but you and keep telling yourself; โItโs finally here. I’m about to experience a strong rebuild of my lifeโ! Just remember your worth. Dig deep to figure out what you really want, what makes you happy and what you want your future to look like.
My take on this !
Nothing stays on other side for long. Reclaim yourself. Once you wake up to the idea that you can stand in your own power, you wouldnโt settle for anything less than you deserve!
Growing up too fast isn’t always a bad thing. You didnโt choose to but you did faster than everyone else. You turned a legit adult at 18, but honestly youโd been one much sooner than that. โYou look really mature for your ageโ or โWow, are you only __ years old?โ Havenโt you faced these reflections all through your early years?
Look around for reasons and youโll find way too many. An impoverished home, dwindling finances, being the oldest sibling, neglect, or even bullying; just about anything would have cut short your free and careless adolescent years, howsoever you would have wished not to grow up faster than everyone else!
Image source: ‘An Open Letter To My Sonโs Absentย Father’ by Jessica Wilson in thoughtcatalog.com
You’re Quick-witted and excellent at prioritizing.
Itโs never been tough for you to choose between going out and partying on a school night or staying back and prepare for your next exam. You always knew what you wanted but more importantly you knew what was needed of you. You always chose to stick to a schedule that would show your priority tasks.
Over the time opportunities got laid out before you to be managed and arranged in order of importance. You were definitely adept in that and would do all that in 0.5 sec flat. It was truly a skill and you bettered others.
Youโre one heck of a planner
This is not about โplanned my entire wedding on Pinterestโ kinda work-out either. Perhaps you had your whole life mapped out all through or maybe at some point of time you had tried to. Arranging and listing were your religion while spontaneity gave you only stings and hives.
Yet your game plan for tomorrow is as firm today as itโs been yesterday and most likely will be a year from tomorrow as well.
From respite to resumeโ
Do you feel like youโve missed out so many things in your childhood? Imagine yourself on a moonwalk or swinging on the playground during school interval and then the next moment you find yourself looking for any job that would accept an 18 year oldโs CV! In a heartbeat responsibilities have come crashing down on you.
Now you miss what youโve left behind. You long and thrive for what you didn’t take in. You want to be in the slumber party at your friendโs home, you didnโt get. You want to get drenched by those squeaky sprinklers in your front yard one last time; you missed them dearly. And youโd love if someone yells at you once again, โItโs ok, youโll understand when you get older.โ
If you get what I mean by saying this then perhaps youโve overstepped and overshot your reach but thatโs ok if this gets you any closer to sense of comfort and well being.
Nobody understood you correctly
Your whole life till now has been mired in failing relationships-friendly or romantic likewise. Youโve been struggling with your fixes for long.
If this is you then youโve matured quite early when most people your age havenโt. Your friends just donโt understand why you canโt go out and join them for partying every single weekend. Whatโs fun, electrifying and rebellious for them, you view it as unnecessary and would prefer to go your way. For you empathy comes hard and you can do no more than pity them. You have lost a lot many friends because of it.
Image source: ‘Shun foster firms and focus on children at risk, state told’ by Sean OโDriscoll in thetimes.com
But donโt we all lose something and gain somewhere?
No worries. You donโt hold it against anybody
In the beginning you didnโt know how to put yourself ahead and when you did, it felt brutally selfish. Later you knew that youโll be fine because youโve learned how to take care of yourself. Youโd know how and why you should move mountains for others when they wouldnโt even walk 10 steps for you. And youโd do it. Youโd do it today as well because thatโs just what you know. When someone would actually dare to invest in you, itโs completely rare territory and would leave you uneasy and cautious.
You can’t help being jealous.
You wouldnโt want to admit this but youโve always been privy to other peopleโs accomplishments and would easily get jealous of those who got lucky in fulfilling their youth. Youโd be in awe of those who got to be careless and free and yet lived a warm and rewarding life without fearing any backlash. Youโd resent those who didnโt always have to be so unfettered and grown up. Youโre envious of the kids who got time out as a child because you thought their parents cared more.
Youโd wish to be like your mates who got to be just that- a student; not a grown up adult.
Youโd think of yourself as โgetting old.โ
In all seriousness, thereโs nothing worse than a 25-year-old unfolding a long winded, candid spiel when in a companyโ that would often end up with glib excuses about how incredibly โoldโ theyโre? Its one thing when youโre being sarcasticโ itโs quite another when you actually cheat yourself into believing that youโre truly getting up there in age.
As a kid and then as a teen youโd often feel that way. Itโs likely that you were surrounded by young immature people whoโd remind you that your sense of restraint was on a rapid decline.
Instead had you been surrounded by those who were happy in what they do and excited about the future, the thought of โgetting oldโ would have missed your lexicon.
โToo lateโ to pursue your dreams!
Iโve often come across people in my life who even when in their “twenty something” and “tween” would in all seriousness confide that they can โno longerโ pursue their dreams or that theyโre โtoo oldโ to make a new beginning. From vacationing in Europe to taking night classes towards their Masters, everything seemed remote to them.
Limitations apart, to simply feel like the โcrazyโ period of your life where you try new things is magically over the moment you hit mid-20s is absurd. When this happens no matter how hard you have tried to come out of this mindset, you couldnโt convince yourself that there is a better life to live than you had so far. In a way youโve condemned your life like the reruns of SVU (remember Special Victims Unit- a crime drama television series!) treating yourself to occasional takeouts at best.
Image source: Erick Mclean in pexels.com
Sometimes weโre born with a purpose to fit into a plan and sometimes weโre left disconnected from our โInner Childโ and miss out on critical opportunities to expand. And sometimes tracing the scars that life has left us with, helps draw a better stronger person out of us.
I guess, it also reminds you that at one point of time you did fight for something you believed!
Yes, you were the one whoโd dress yourself for school, who made sure to finish the homework, who always remembered to pay for own things and who would take care of own self when sick. All through youโve been one heck of a person. One strong-willed relentless striking soul who learned everything the hard way and made it to the real world- real fast.
Image source: ‘7 Ways to Preserve Your Travel Memories and Decorate Your Favourite Places’ in wanderlusters.com
Do you still agonize over your past and expect perfection from yourself? Fast tracking to adulthood always has profound and lasting impacts on oneโs life. But as a grown-up there is always a way to slow down and reconnect with the part of yourself that always want to simply be a child.
So thank your childhood- for being cut short. It made you ready for the World in next to no time. And take it from me when I say, โlife is fun at any age- You just have to make it happen!โ
โWhoever said money canโt buy happiness isnโt spending it right.โ Years ago this Lexus ad had set aside all twists of conventional wisdom while selling a car so fancy that no one would ever dream of affixing even a bumper sticker to it.
What made this ad so intriguing was that it offered a simple but an expensive answer to popular doubts; โHow would you change the money youโd worked so hard to earn into something thatโs so close to a good life?โ There must be some connection between money and happiness. If there werenโt, youโd be less likely to stay late at work or struggle to save every penny you can. Why isnโt a fortunate out-of-turn promotion, 4 bedroom house or a fat pay packet cheering you up enough? If money can buy anything under the sun will it shop an extra bit of happiness for you?
The connection between money and happiness it seems is far more complicated than we ordinarily fancy.
Image source: ‘ Five things to buy to be happier’ by Rajendra Dani in linkedin.com
Does this mean that expending for material things brings more happiness or would you rather spend it on some exciting experience instead? Letโs own up…most of us face this dilemma in a wrong way. Buying stuff for an upturn in life is no longer a clichรฉโ; it works as well. With little else to do in free time and with almost any item just a click away, itโs easy to indulge especially when you feel like rewarding yourself for everything youโve had to endure. Joining the mad rush maxing out the credit cards, we feel an inexplicable pleasure in spending on consumer goods, home improvement and vacations even if itโs for a short while. But thrifty or splurging, every buy is a freaky sell out if it breaks faith with happiness.
While people are naturally disposed towards happiness, itโs more likely that we simply discover things and use them to our advantage, unaware that quite a few carry the promise to brighten up our day and make us feel happier than ever before.
So, if youโre seriously looking for joy in small things, you can elevate your happiness quotient with these 8 โboost your mood without breaking the bankโpractical purchases and bring back joy and contentment in your life like never before.
Image source: ‘Money Can Actually Buy You Happiness. Here’s How To Get It’ in deepstash.com
Pets Are Adorable
Money alone can’t buy happiness, but it can always buy you a pet. It canโt buy you friendship, but it can help you bring a new companion into your life and thatโs just as good. Dogs, cats, birds, – pets everyone of them can ginger up and add colors to great emotions of happiness. Wake up! For with closeness comes the ability to feel loved.
A Comfy Pillow Is One Delightful Thing You Canโt Miss
Itโs arguably a must-have for a good night’s sleep. In turn it would earn you a day full of lightheartedness and overall happiness. When you shop for high-quality pillow it enhances your sleep experience and helps save you from neck and back pain. This means you wake up refreshed rejuvenated in a better mood and a happier mind.
Fragrant Candles Are Great Mood Swingers
Perfumy and sweet smelling candles can lift your mood forthwith and bring a gentle soothing ambience to your home. The ambrosial aroma will rouse all your senses, prod positive emotions and fire up memories linked to that particular scent.
Whatโs more, the soft, warm glow of the candlelight would set up a calm, comforting and tranquil air encouraging relaxation and serenity. Choose the one you love most and your mood would change in a heartbeat.
Online Communities Are Compelling
Strong social grouping is the key to our happiness and emotional well being. Good relationships always prelude happiness and longevity. I usually pick up items that would help quality time with my loved ones. And so can you! Interactive games, cooking equipment or outdoor gear for group activities are just the kind of things to invest in. In bargain, youโll get all thatโs needed for a life-enhancing experience.
Image source: ’11 Simple Things You Can Do Today That Will Make You Happier, Backed By Science’ by Kirsti Lang in buffer.com
An Objet D’art Is Restful and Quieting
The formal elements of a personalized artwork focuses more on quality and can evoke so many incredible emotions that would show on your unique taste and style. Flat, abstracted, simplified, or stylized, a beautiful piece of art in your living space would not only portray the theme, it would also speak for you. It has the potential to communicate without using words. I guess, itโs just another way of keeping a personal diary. It will bring joy and happiness by making your space feel more personal and welcoming. Just looking closely at the artwork is reassuring and hypnotic. Youโll find the beauty and character of a masterpiece steadily shaping positive vibes and upbeat atmosphere around you thatโll keep you happy and inspired every day.
Plants Are Unwinding
Giving space to plants into your home can significantly elevate your mood and help relieve exhausted nerves. I absolutely knew that greenery hangs heavy. So, as a beginner I had begun with easy-care plants like pothos or snake plant and fruit plants like dwarf mulberry and Meyer lemon. While adding aesthetic appeal to my surroundings, over the time these plants improved air quality and helped build up a calming environment.
Set the ball rolling. Situate them in areas where you spend most of your time. Greens and foliage have therapeutic effect so donโt shy away from a more involved plant care. Not only thatโll be some fun, soon even small acts like watering plants or watching them grow will become your daily moment of joy.
Like Friends Books Should Be Few And Edifying
Lifelong learning is closely tied to happiness and well being. Diverse content including fiction, non-fiction and self-help titles increase your level of empathy, enhance social perception and boost emotional intelligence. So, acquire books that relate to your interests or dare you to try new ideas. Online platforms are equally helpful if traditional ways arenโt your preferred choice. Choices nevertheless, are wide and itโs important not to plough through everything that comes to hand.
Image source: ’10 Tips on How to Attract and Achieve Happiness’in desiblitz.com
Buy Some Humor For Yourself
Laughter truly is linked to pleasure and is rewarding. The best pill for happiness, it never fails to stir up a thrilling experience. Comedy specials, humorous books, tickets to a comedy show, fun party games, movie nights, watching a funny video during lunch break or starting the day with a comic strip; just about everything would entitle you with the ability to laugh freely and embrace playfulness with a pinch of funny silliness in your pursuit of happiness.
If Only Riches Can Buy Happinessโฆ
I think itโs never been about how much we can spend; it’s about when and where to shell out money. Itโs no rocket science but investing the right amount in the things that make you happy will truly bring joy into your life. By making thoughtful purchases and taking time to choose them makes it an unforgettable experience that will bring a lasting happiness in your life.
Small Things Matter,Money Isnโt Everything!
Buying things isnโt wrong. Every shop has a bit of happiness on offer but it doesnโt work well when you push yourself to be happier and mask other emotions. Getting a package delivered, trying on a new pair of shoes, or adding a fancy gadget to kitchen feels great at first, but sometimes there will be a problem; you wouldnโt know if youโve really shopped your way to happiness! Rushing out to buy a Rolex doesnโt necessarily cures a bad case of blues; neither does a visit to local spa to cleanse your lifeโs ills. Unaware your spending spree just ends up being more harmful than helpful.
So, don’t jump into a freezing lake on a dare; choose what you think would make you happy.
Image source: ‘Do You Want a Happy Life or a Memorable Life?’ by Nat Eliason in blog.nateliason.com
Incidentally, who said that you have to work hard to be happier? Try something freakโn different for once. Go for a shopping binge for a start. Sometimes the most innocuous looking buy would give off an air of intelligence and will be the best investment in happiness that you can ever make.
It’ll be your moment to smile more and stress little!
Imagine somebody locks you up in a time-machine and asks you to take a quantum leap to go forward into the future or backward into the past. Youโre allowed to travel backwards or forward to any length of time, jumping through different dimensions and timelines a day, a thousand years, a million yearsโฆ Which one would you choose? Future, that lies ahead or the Past, thatโs finished and done with.
Either way Iโm sure youโll never want to come back to โNowโ.
Arguably, choosing between the two can change anybodyโs life. But since nobody would want to ruin their lives any more than they have done in the past, future seems like an easy pick.
Personally Iโm in more for future than past. Not that I donโt want to fix mistakes or want to ask for an apology to those people whom I had hurt & offended in my life before. But it would be more like going back in time to correct course to make future take a turn for the better than putting things right in there. Of course, this will be the only opportunity to set things right and tell others to do scrub theirs. Still, wouldnโt it be better to travel into the future and witness those aberrations fading away all by themselves?
YepโฆIโm at a loss but Iโd rather settle for what lies ahead in time for me. I donโt want to see something again that I had neglected to conclude in the first place!
I am though still curious enough to take a flier into the past and sneak a peek at whatever wrong Iโd done that I shouldnโt have. Save for dinosaurs, I will get lucky to patch up some of those awkward spots. Not likely but who knows someday something I want to happen -may just happen.
All in all, itโs really a difficult choiceโฆand a risky one as well. You move one on your fingertips and youโll never get to see life the same way again.
So, what do you need most- the Past that didnโt work out well or a Future that awaits you to go viral?
Image source: 1zoom.me/en
Your Future Is Bigger Than Your Past
It simply has to be and hereโs why.
For all we know, Past is merely the bedrock for Now and Future. Otherwise all that we did in the past would be for nothing if we have come this far only to give up. Some room is always there to continue growing and thatโs exactly where we want to be.
I measure success by how many people I have helped out in the past and I want to continue increasing that number. I reckon my future to be my property because by definition, it hasnโt happened yet. It exists only in my mind suggesting that I can choose to make it whatever way I want.
Honestly, I think my every move to make my future bigger and brighter than my past is the very act of growing itself.
For some people great future is mostly about themselves. But for few like me it means contributing to other’s lives and things. And I prefer to keep it simple and clean while pitching in. Whatโs more, Iโm convinced that all I need is to believe that, itโs possible to have a bigger happier future no matter what stage youโre at in life or what your circumstances are.
Often this belief alone has been enough to keep me growing.
Short Steps Help Grow Better
Fancy this- youโve grown old or are in poor health. Youโve great many memories and dreamy experiences behind you, but donโt know how to pep up your future and reconstruct it to better your past.
Think of it this wayโฆ
Growing is as simple as learning to expand your perspective on the world and somewhat contributing to lives of others. A bigger future doesnโt have to be necessarily grand or glitzy; no great leaps ahead either. Most growth happens as a result of many small steps. The key is to keep taking them. Besides a better future is not about how much time youโre left. Itโs about what you do in it and use what youโve learned and done so far.
Check out for yourself. You have taken your first step towards the vastness of what youโre yet to discover and not be aware.
And youโll keep growing till you last.
Wrong turns won’t let the good times roll
Image source: meaningfulmoney.life
Apparently what has got us here today wonโt get us there ‘morrow. If youโve been lucky in the past, be wary for that success can muffle your future success. ย The things that have brought you where you are today will be the very things that will stop you from reaching your next level. Your crush for earlier triumphs and unwavering loyalty to your identity will keep you mired until youโve learned to let go of your Past. You will gain an insight or two in between but donโt live there. And certainly donโt stay stuck to an obscure identity.
Don’t look back n’ pull yourself together
Becoming organized and mindful of everything taking place around you, places you better to build toward the future you wish for. The quickest way to do this is by not doing more but quit doing whatever is holding you back. Consider dumping those out of line behavior for a start and welcome good ones. Itโs a hard start but unless you learn to cull the damage, youโll always be taking one step forward and two backward. Itโs akin to getting rid of junk food from your meal before going for a work out.
Look…unless you cut back on your spending, there’s no point in focusing on making more money.
You wonโt need more once youโve freed yourself from needing more and will be content with what you have. Think of your life as your garden. What good will be planting if you donโt remove the weeds and prep the soil?
Your Best Song Is Inside You
โYou have to believe your best work is ahead of you. If I believed my best song was already written, I wouldnโt keep writing.โ
Itโs no hard guess what Alice Cooper -the rock star meant when he had voiced his mind like this. Richard Paul Evans, the 38-times New York Times bestselling author also aired his thoughts somewhat similarly. Interestingly, both never gave up trying to create something better than they had done before.
Feature credits: ‘Your Future Needs You – Your Past Doesnโtโ by MotivationDon in YouTube.com
Whatโs my take on this? I think thereโs always a better way to live a good life. The worldโs not going to shrink any sooner and I must keep pushing for a better morrow. So, every time I start something new, I work like a Trojan and sometimes do not hesitate to lean over backwards. I guess itโs the only way to innovate and break my boundaries.
I wish someday you too will get to find the right choice. All you need is to persuade yourself to believe that boundaries and limitations are mere illusions and lie only in imagination. Besides, your personality doesnโt define you. It only mirrors a relationship with yourself and whatโs happening around you. If you wish, you can change it completely. You can even change how you show up in the world. And that’s exactly what you need to do if your future is going to be bigger than your past. Your past in any case won’t buy you much.
SeeโฆItโs between Ash or Phoenix– so choose wisely!
Above all keep this alive for you; โMy best work is ahead of meโ.
Seriously! Are they bad enough to sabotage our level of awareness and destroy our happiness?
Like everyone else I also have endured conflicts with a boundless rage that lives within us all. Most of the time it would turn the situation Iโm in, awkwardly critical and would silently work to destroy my confidence. Yet unwittingly every single time Iโd let myself be ravaged by this frenzy and would settle with picking poor choices. Next would follow an overwhelming surge of low self-esteem, hostile self-talk and miserable emotions only to see me going bonkers.
โI canโt do that.โ
โI am not good enough to get the job.โ
โI know I should exercise more, but โฆโ
โIt should probably get out more, but โฆโ
Not many would agree but after every โbutโ sits the excuse for bringing in a bad choice. Unfortunately it sets everything off-course and leaves us looking for what we need most at places where we least ought to. Assumptions, I guess are our worst enemy. Trusting them over and over again is like grasping a straw in the wind. Theyโd subside only when we retreat into the comfort of disrespect and insolence.
Coping with a self defeating, ambition-killing fire in the head by not allowing it to cripple our sense of right or wrong is what makes life easy to live. Left unchecked these failings would get so ingrained in our lives that weโd start to accept them as normal.
Looking for a way to fix this?
Itโs only years later I talked me over to relent and stop resisting the change. My call…it was weird but a wonderful fieriness had begun to unroll for me.
Iโd still be haunted by anger but I had learned to admit that โI am angryโ. I had realized that what I needed most when running in circles was to admit that Iโve been running in circles. It was as easy as winking but it took me a while to catch on. Surprisingly very few wouldโve the courage to accept their weak spot. For most part theyโd rather stay stuck so long as their โsafe spaceโ is not intruded on. Funnily enough, itโs kinda painful to admit that youโre stuck!
So, how do we evade thoughts that shut us out from healthy solutions? Can we in some way tear down an attitude that typically ends with something awful we wouldnโt want to happen? What if the intended outcome does more bad than good?
Few and far in between, self cheating behavior works against its own purpose and is normally either unsuccessful or useless. Itโs more like being mean to the person you want to befriend. Ordinarily itโs self harming and would hit back soon. One way or the other your actions would forestall your approach from working out. Make no mistake- your every effort would be in vain and everything that you wished for would be lost.
To break free of this self-hurting, happiness derailing attitude, put these four practices on your what-not-to-do list. Once you learn to kick your insipid boring attitude to the curb, youโll be on fast track to being the best version of you.
Image source:’Why is changing habits so hard?’by Gill Mckay in gillmckay.com
Youโre adding without subtracting
Scaling up unthinkingly without giving a second thought is natural and unwittingly happens to all of us. Sometimes I fell for it as well. Adding new stuff without doing away with the old one is how my closet would get cluttered. My workload would become unmanageable and my budget would go up in smoke. โIs any of this going to help me go fat or look better?โ Iโd argue with me then, knowing well that it takes discipline to cut and combine. But that part would always elude me.
I grew up without pruning and thatโs bad!
Worse still, Iโd always think that Iโd get away with it! Whatever โitโ wasโcheating, hiding, digging deep into my pocket for that extra bit of plum cake, Iโd be convinced otherwise. It was quite delusional. I knew lapses do not forgive and slip ups would show up somewhere someday.
Happily, not before long I learned how to get over myself. Long-term consequences and a growing familiarity to my weaknesses showed the potholes ahead. I had found out that humility shakes off self defeat.
Besides, a growing emphasis on purpose and a sense of responsibility pushed me to sidestep the deception. I saw Google enjoying outstanding success, but it didnโt stay stuck to its past. There were moments when it relented to popular expectations just like the antipathy of the bakery union that drove Hostess brands (of Twinkies fame), an 82 year old business into liquidation in Nov. 2012.
Image source: ‘Good people make mistakes’ in observingleslie.com
Donโt just sit on the fence
Trying to become something you are not while thereโs plenty of value in who you are, can be self-defeating. Google expanded its territory to become a comms network provider, build fiber optics, mobile network and mapped software to driverless cars when most opined that it should stay focused to Googling than opening up and as a consequence fall behind. The rag bag has ever since been a mix of tumble and fumble.
Getting caught in the middle of something while being not good enough to compete in the new terrain, is disastrous and ends in losing sight of the old area as well. Move out of your comfort zone only when you know you can challenge yourself.
I grew because I had learned to side step discomfort and with it all the uncertainty that comes with change.
Going ballistic is bad!
Anger and blame are unproductive emotions that do more harm than good. Both hurt if misplaced. Hereโs how. Years after a tragic incident on the Deepwater Horizon, an oil drilling rig operated by BP in the Gulf of Mexico on 20 April 2010 in which 11 people lost their lives, BP struck the headlines facing a record fine and slew of criminal charges. The then CEO Tony Hayward damaged the company more by indignantly giving bitter statements about the unfairness of it all!
Angry words leave a long devastating trail and are capable of overwhelming your accomplishments. Learn to be mindful of your anger. Tame it before it incites bitterness and consumes everything.
Are you afraid of change?
For all that we know- our brain is wired to resist change. An inseparable natural part of our lives, it is programmed to hang on to the status quo and avoid the uncertainty that comes with a shift. It resists because it fears losing a secure space to the unknown. This hostility to change is what harms most as it keeps us stuck into the past not letting the better person in us to grow.
Hereโs the thing- growth doesnโt happen in a familiar territory. If your wish is to evolve, improve and be the limit, live the change, not fear it. It scares everyone at first sight but then every sec is a chance to grow and learn. Endure going down with a tough project in Office, be ready to face the flak in a difficult conversation with kins and be a game when pushed against the wall by your wellness trainer; every extra mile is an opportunity to break free and live the better version of you. Soon your mind will learn to shift focus from problems to solutions, acknowledge your thoughts, and wonโt let them control you.
Feature source:’This tiny cute bird will inspire you’ by Heart touching films in YouTube.com
So next time you find yourself slipping, step back and look at the big picture. Itโs not about having all the answers but moving ahead even when things arenโt perfectly clear.
Reach out and say โHelloโ to a mindset of action and solution-oriented thinking if you trust your guts. Even before youโd know, your journey to be the best version of you would have begun.
Once you learn to let go of what doesnโt truly matter you can create a space for what does.
What is your face saying? Which look would you prefer today? Why it be the most important decision you make? Some have said that the thoughts you carry today create the face of your future โ in so many ways. More informed ones say that it can change your life in just 7 days!
Do you believe any of that? I wasnโt so sure but sometime ago a hardened wish to live lighthearted made me curious enough take a shot at it.
I tried and it worked! Outside of few frenzied moments, this was no fun run though. Every so often it would be hard to hold on to my protesting wits while struggling not to shy away from trying.
Want to know how for yourself?
Two years ago on one wintry morning, as I sat in the front porch holding a cup of coffee in one hand and balancing the morning newspaper in my lap, I felt uneasy. Something was whetting up my thoughts since last evening. I could sense it; it was getting me worked up. I had woken early from an annoyingly bad dream of last night. I donโt know if it was a subjective response to a perturbed sleep or a dry sadness of the day- but I got nostalgic. The past flew back to me in a sec when life was all fun and games.
I had found a photo of me smiling big while combing through old family photo album the evening before. For some reason my sensibility had run crazy thereafter. The face that peered out just wouldnโt disappear. Nuts! It was kinda mocking me and wouldnโt let go. Even in bed it continued to spook me. I couldnโt make any sense of what I was dealing with. That pic had roiled up many memories. Whatever, for good or bad, it was distressing reliving those faded moments. And yet I touch a bit of comfort in that flash back. For a moment it felt like a bridge that stretched back over to the good old days; a quite step outside of my comfort zone. It was upsetting though. Funny, remembrance was acting weird here.
I was saddened by how I appeared then. Surprisingly it wasnโt my hair or the cool swanky suit I was wearing that bothered me much; although some of that did make me wonder later what I was thinking then and why everything about me has changed so much now.
It was perhaps the countenance on my face that had knocked me over; a look that mirrored calmness and a glint of happiness in the corners of the eyes. While I did manage to keep my chin up in most snapshots thereafter, thereโs been an obvious lack of rejoice. The joy in the heart had given way to melancholy as if I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
My face mirrors my heart
If you can think of a struggle I have lived through all of it; disappointment, fear, anxiety, rejection, anger, bitterness, sadness and hopelessness. And every time I have mustered enough courage to work my way through. But somewhere along the way my heart ached and I realized that I couldnโt hide behind it any more. This was an uninvited nasty change and would mock me later every time I faced a lens. Every still was a cruel reminder that I will no longer laugh without the fear of the future. My face was beginning to show the brokenness in my heart. I kept praying for a better day and an even better tomorrow. Strength and help is what I quested to remove what did not mirror my countenance. I knew that I would find joy only when I walk lighter, burden free and trust myself.
People have their own way of thinking and processing emotions but if you are not motivated heart-to-heart youโll set yourself back full time! To me it was like somebody telling me to let go of a relationship for which I was not ready and doing anything upfront to save it would be a useless exercise. I was distressed, knowing that I hadnโt quite โreachedโ myself. Perhaps I felt that way because I was usually looking stressed. Iโd often have a negative expression on my faceโฆyou will call it a โNoโ face; one that has resigned to the fact that โyou canโt win them all.โ I just kept on doing what I was doing.
Feature credits: ‘The Tree’ by Hot Shot in YouTube.com
Untilโฆ one day I decided to confront myself. I said to me; โitโs time to move on joyfullyโ. Next, over the time I persuaded myself to act like I was in a good mood even if I woke up in a bad one. I practically attempted to let my body actually โfake-outโ my brains. Imperceptibly, the slow moving ice began to thaw. Guess, โFake it till you make itโ was indeed beginning to work for my rescue! I had finally learned to live with my failings. When my TV broke down Iโd no longer hit it in exasperation or breakdown in anger. Everything would suck but Iโd still resist shouting. I would twirl and tell everybody that the TVโs working fine but somethingโs gone wrong with the power socket. Trust me; whenever I reacted like this, itโs impossible to feel stressed.
By substituting playful gestures for angry ones, my brain was short-circuiting my own stress!
I didnโt always think that all of it was true. Still the older I got, the more I believed that my choosing has a lot to do with it. This was a simple truth but took me pretty long time to own it.
Image source: ‘The importance of anonymous feedback’ by Rosanna Bull in the happinessindex.com
Which face would you choose today?
Which kind of face would you rather have? The one that is furrowed with worry lines and frown grooves? Or the one with crowโs feet and laughter lines? Whateverโs your choice, scarily itโd decide how you have chosen your day to be like; a buoyed one or the one that sees you sullen and cross at all times.
Urgent things do pop up every day to demand our time and frenzied back-to-back work often means setting aside our conviviality. But prioritizing doesnโt mean reordering and letting our sullen old self ruin our day. You need to figure out what can be knocked off and how to say โnoโ sometimes. Ask yourself; โWhatโs the worst that will happen if I donโt do this; is there any other way to get this done or is there some way for me to half-do this and move on from it?โ
Iโm not sure if I ever again saw myself twirling around TV, but in reality this principle seemed to be at the heart of the way my body and mind worked together. The power that I see today in my hands feels amazing. For once I know how to look for the greatest way to perk up my day. Its okay if some days are bad but I guess without the tough ones it’s hard to appreciate the special ones.
Image source: ‘4 movements that really relieve’ by Magali Quent in notretemps.com
So, look around you next time youโre out and about in a busy street. Even when people are lost in their own thoughts, not talking to anyone else, their face would tell you the story of their thoughts. Youโll know which thought and emotion you need to learn and practice more often if youโre to take your day beyond ordinary. Check it out โ our emotional state is unshakable and hangs tough all over our faces for all to see. Changing your bearings and โwearing a different faceโ would jump start your body chemistry to work in 60 secs flat to shift your emotions on a brighter note and make you feel different. Top it up with a cheery smile and youโve just run into an amazing day!
Whatโs my favorite one!
A glint in the eye and a broad smile one that starts at the eyes and then fills the room. Itโs contagious. It can change your world as it has mine!
ยญยญยญยญLike everybody else fiery billboard promotions and zealous hype had left me chasing dreams of possessing car and clothes, all the while working in a job I hated so that I can buy stuff I really didnโt need in the first place! It was not long before eventually the things I owned ended up owing me instead. It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped! Sometimes it was overwhelming and would leave me feeling gutted.
Image source: goodmorningpics.com
Itโs hard to remember when I first took the decision to intentionally live with fewer possessions. I suppose it was born quite a few years back mainly out of growing discontent with my screwy conception about lifeโs purpose. Everything sulked and felt like slipping away. And all the while I was all kinda busy woefully wishing for a better and happier life. As the size of my home grew so did the number of things stuffed into closets. I was spending more and more time caring for everything I possessed.
While cleaning stowage one Sunday morning, it struck me hard; how much of my life was being stolen by things that I own? Wasnโt I neglecting things that meant the most to me as a result? It was touchy, perhaps a bit nasty too but from that moment I decided to break free. Next I began to get rid of the non essentials.
I had decided to own less!
Ever since I figured it out and chose to settle with less, Iโve been experiencing countless benefits; more time for me, more money, more freedom, more energy; all with less stress and distraction. Fewer possessions and a careful use of resources have provided me with the opportunity to follow my greatest passions. Itโs great! And Iโve figured it out; Iโll never go back to the way Iโve lived so far. For me that lifestyle is bootless now. Interestingly, along the way Iโve discovered something even better than owning less; wanting less is not foolish and is definitely a better way to make a fresh start.
You may ask; if all that was so unnecessary what pushed me to catch up with โsimple is moreโ idea. All I had known so far was that โmore than, less than or equal toโ are the inequalities meant to represent the relation between two numbers or two expressions. No more!
This is how it all began to happen one fine morning.
The other day, I was visiting my neighbor at his home just across the street. We were childhood buddies and itโs been awhile since we had last met; so the warmth flew free. Fireside chat soon changed to heart- to- heart gab. I was taken aback for a moment when he confided how anxious he was about the upcoming weekend. โWhy?โ I asked. โWell, Iโm having some new friends coming over for dinner and Iโm embarrassed about the size of my house. The last time I went to one of theirs, it was huge and beautiful and gorgeously decorated. Probably one of nicest I โd ever laid my eyes onโ. Now I knew why he looked so edgy and sounded hollow. Obviously, he was sizing himself up and feeling awkward in his own house!
I felt a bit sad for him. Graciously I said what I needed to say; that he had nothing to worry about, that things will be just fine, that his house was big enough and that what matters above all is the feeling you get when you enter a home which is far more important than square footage or the marquee furniture.
Itโs hard to tell if that was any relief to him. I guess, thatโs the least comfort I have offered to someone whoโs disappointed or miserable over something as unimportant as the bigness of his house!
Image source: pexels.com
Later as I left his place I felt downhearted. What a crummy way to live; always eyeing the possessions of others and equating them to your own! Thereโs no joy here; this way of living sucks and outlook on life is disparaging. Discontent and envy only make matters worse. Both my friend and the spite that haunted him, were a weak match to wish for a full life. Still, I couldnโt fully disassociate myself from what I had experienced during his telling of the story. I had lived in smaller home years ago as well and couldnโt be happier with my life then. I had never wished for a bigger one. Iโd often walk past a lot many in the neighborhood all the time and coyly say to myself, โIโm sure glad I donโt have it else Iโd be spending so much time and energy taking care of that big pile!โ The benefits of being in a smaller home were just great!
Soon thereafter, we moved into our ancestral house. It was a big deal; open space, room for everybody, patio, small patch of green – just about everything in it appeared larger and much bigger. Life was perhaps hinting at better. But this is when I began to think about how much everything else has changed and wondered how unattractive the constant pursuit of material possessions means to me. Somehow not only I wanted to own less, I wanted less. Perhaps then this would be a wonderful place to be in, Iโd confide in me. I would feel comforted and reassured.
Today because I donโt want to own more than I already have, I am finally free from the constant collating of my stuff to others. I am no longer tormented by an incessant pursuit for more money and more stuff. I have found contentment in the things that I own. And above all I have discovered more room for generosity.
Image source: ‘Ready To Change Your Life and Take The โLess Is Moreโ Approach?’ by Theresa in simpleismore.com
Because I donโt want to own anymore than I already have, I am free from constant contemplation. I am no longer bound to the incessant pursuit of more money and more belongings. I have found peace, contentment and happiness in the things that I have. It has also served me with extra space to indulge and be openhearted in giving. I have finally found my stride and begun to bend my pursuits towards things that matter. Itโs no more a race to have it all. Things no longer define me as an individual. Iโve stopped buying stuff knowing that they will only burden me and add to my worries. Iโm content with whatever Iโve now for I know that more doesnโt guarantee joy or happiness.
To me itโs a great feeling living with less andโฆ wanting less even better!
ย โEveryone makes mistakes,ย so no one person is better than the other.โ
No hard guesswork; this assertion would certainly raise eyebrows. While you may get on with it, there are few who would rather mock it straightaway. And understandably so; if Abraham Lincoln or Joseph Stalin could stumble and screw up sometimes in life, clearly not all slip ups are equal.
This sounds intuitive on the surface since there is no rust colored fire escape ladder or wrought iron curly cues to help. But surprisingly there is multitude of instances where we simply miss the actual picture. Eliezer Yudkowsky- best remembered for popularizing ideas related to friendly artificial intelligence, is just as cautious when elaborating; “Everything is shades of gray, but there are shades of gray so light as to be nearly white and shades of gray so dark as to be very nearly black. Or even if not, we can still compare shades and say โitโs darker or itโs lighterโ.
To me it measures the same way; like all imperfections are not equal and all uncertainties are different. While itโs not easy to embrace uncertainty, the important thing is what we choose to do with it. Who wouldnโt want to go all out to ease it, knowing that it will never be entirely gone? ย Except that this would determine what shade of gray you really are in as nothing is as black, white or evenly gray as youโd want it to be.
Asserting that โI donโt know a shitโ or โI donโt give a damnโ is something that everybody readily accepts and would easily dismiss your imperfections. But thereโs a difference between someone who fails to prove why Earth is flat and someone who falls through in proving the string theory that describes the universe as made up of tiny vibrating threads.ย Smaller than atoms, electrons, or quarks when these strands vibrate, twist and fold, they create matter, energy, and other phenomena like electromagnetism and gravity.
In any case both would throw up their hands in uncertainty though may secretly hand on to a cocky certainty.
Image source: ‘Your silence will not protect you’ by Audre Lorde in the feministbookshop.com
For the most part we live in a world where nothing is certain; we cannot hope to be more correct โonly less wrong. Itโs kinda default setting where nothing is fully comprehensible. Nonetheless if you could comprehend why nothing is ever black or white, then thatโs a great start. But the real shift happens only when you begin to view the world through infinite shades of color.
Itโs a difficult road but promises a beautiful destination!
How strange is life, isnโt it? The darkness of the night always relents and makes way for the light of the day time after time. Likewise our endurance never fails to end our labor into fruition. Itโs a blissful absurdity but is conclusive to co existing with Nature. I do not freak out easily but I know one thing for sure โthere is no perfect way to live your life in a well laid down manner. Our lives are not novels that need to confine to a well defined sequence of chapters. Rather itโs a collection of stories that behold different plots unfettered- in a single you.
I have always felt fragile yet confident in my dealings. My heart could feel the pain of loss and my soul would flourish with happiness when excited. And my mind would eagerly build on rhythms of life that stir and influence my actions. Sometimes things wonโt turn out the way Iโd want them to but would often end up in something more beautiful than I could have imagined.
Donโt we all shed every ounce of ourselves to grow into the kind of person that we think we are meant to be? I have always believed in all the versions of me that Iโm fated to co-exist with. The most vivid part is that it has helped me to live a happy life even when wading in unknown. I have learned to live in harmony in a world that continues to evolve around me. I guess there is no single identity that I need to hang onto to be sufficient for everybody around me.
Image source: pexels.com
When I was younger I wouldnโt stop dreaming of the day when Iโd be recognized as a successful writer and my stories being read somewhere one day. Years later today as I look back, I face the younger version of me that had dreamed of his work being recognized and featured. I feel warm and grateful and treasure this vision dearly. It gives me the hope and the strength to continue to desire and work hard and softly breathe my wishes to the world around me.
I am the story that has run into unfinished streams of failure, courage, hope and strength. Iโm the eye that beholds infinite dreams. Iโm the ambition that yearns for more and has set its heart on living on cloud nine.
It gets complicated sometimes, right? Honestly arenโt we the ones who allow it snowball into a clutter in no time. We hang on to stuff that makes our lives more complex than it need to be. Itโs a pity that we couldnโt resist making mountain out of mole hills and itโs only a matter of time before everything starts withering on the vine.
Living a happy life is not only about doing away with the physical clutter or spiteful thoughts; itโs more about learning how not to let them rob you of your joy.
The other day I asked my neighbors how they would like to improve their lives. As expected, they said theyโd want to become happier. I felt fine. “Same old, same oldโ! Who wouldnโt want to? Many though wouldnโt know exactly how to go about it.
Becoming a happier person is a personal journey but it can be influenced and steered to a plus size life with a little care. Wanting a little more of it is beguiling and there is nothing wrong to fancy a slice of it. Fair enough if you too are driven plentifully to go after it than stay buried in the weeds!
Sounds not possible? But trust me; itโs easier to quieten that inner critic than you think and jazzing up your โdear lifeโ even more.
So, letโs get into this.
My woes my โworry timeโ
I know, it sounds freaky and unreasonable. Why would you need to set aside some time for your worries when you should actually be doing just the opposite; ignoring all that upsets you or over-thinking?
A few years back, I was in a constant state of worry. My mind was being constantly rapped by a whirlpool of โwhat ifsโ. It was exhausting!
This is when I bumped into this idea of setting aside some โworry timeโto deal with everything and anything that bothers me. It was as simple and unsophisticated. Instead of letting my worries keep raking my mind the entire day; Iโd choose ‘my time’ to deal with it. Unsure of any other fix, I jumped for it. For half an hour each morning between 6:00 and 6:30 Iโd take time off to do nothing else but worry. AndโฆIt worked!
By containing my worries to a specific half-hour window to deal with them, Iโd set my mind free for the rest of the day. The nagging was there and didnโt vanish completely but felt less intrusive. For once again, I was in control of my thoughts than being controlled by them,
If you feel that your worries keep crippling your day and pull down your happiness, take a shot at it. You may find it just as liberating in the end!
Youโd luv to stay connected
Like they say we humans are sociable and thrive on connection and interaction with others. But once off the track and reclusive, itโs easy to get scatterbrained. Staying connected with friends and family gives us a chance to express our thoughts and feelings and gain insights about things that we may have overlooked earlier.
Do I mean to say that you need to be surrounded by people 24/7? Nope! No way. A simple phone call, text message, or a casual stroll with an acquaintance is good enough to break you free from deep thinking.
I never thought it lame to ask for help or share what I was going through. โNot Okโ at first sight and Iโd remind myself, โIโm not alone in thisโ. Iโd then find me gutsy enough to reach out to others.
Trying this might just as well help you get the comfort and clarity youโve been looking forโฆ without losing control of yourself!
Itโs Ok to mess up sometimes
Sometimes I wish for a wishbone. Perhaps life wouldnโt be so imperfect and flawed then. I wouldnโt let it! I would have it cracked evenly in half and my quest for happiness would end there and then. But thatโs not going to happen. Like everybody else I too have my moments of doubts and fears. I just couldnโt turn off my inner critic, smile and laugh.
Life hurts!
Lately I guess, I had been rather harsh on myself; only to add to my stress level. Unable to pull out and move ahead, I decided to let myself feel what I feel, learn to accept myself wholeheartedly and allow myself not to be the best that’s humanly possible but rather to do the best that I can.
And guess what! It worked out well. I could now talk to my inner child, forgive myself for past mistakes, laugh to my heart, knowing that I am enough for me. For once, I could try some intuitive eating and wear comfortable shoes. Geezโฆmy feet ached so badly!
So, next time you find yourself in a tough spot with zero options, donโt be hard on you; find your โyesโ. It will help you build in some margin as you go ahead. Stop pushing by slowing down. Youโre not sitting on a powder keg! Itโs all right to have moments like this.
Besides you deserve kindnessโฆespecially from yourself.
Image source: pexels.com
Drop it; It doesnโt matter
A few years back I had found myself stuck up with a past mistake that Iโd made while at work. It wasnโt much but I just couldnโt move past it. I was mortified and scared of the consequences. It kept ballooning in my judgment till it was colossal! At one point it was like a nasty screenplay on auto run. I was busy all through the day dissecting every detail, every reaction. I was worked up and in a perpetual state of nerves!
All I needed was to somehow loosen my hold on me and let it go as a bad dream. Overselling the same thought was not going to alter what had already happened. I needed was to learn and grow from my experience of the past.
Clutching at my heart I braced myself to take a plunge hoping that this is how I could put an end to my anxiety and perhaps fix my self-censoring mind. Trust me, it turned out well! My doggedness was back, my wits were free and I was finally โฆde-stressed.
When we hold on to past mistakes or worry about what comes next, we let ourselves be robbed of the joy in the present moment.
Today, I could forgive myself for all the fumbles and stumbles and use them as a learning experience rather than a source of constant stress making my world a whole lot steady and calm. I consider my โmissesโ as a chance to grow and not as an anchor holding me back. I tag them as a sweet but powerful way to stop beating a dead horse and being happy.
I know itโs hard to learn to distance yourself from โcold and creepyโ miseries but with a little practice it gets easier to reach out, connect and stay in touch with your present moment.
Personally I think that the secret to a happy life isnโt in having all the answers or avoiding mistakes. Itโs in cherishing the course of life with all its ups and downs, twists and turns. Itโs about learning, growing, and finding joy in smaller things.
Image source: ‘How to improve your personal growth’ by Ali in sharetoinspireblog.com
So, if you think you’re unsure of yourself, drifting and tired of wishing for more; take a break, catch your breath and sell this to yourself โ โitโs human to churn out imperfect outcomes.And I’ll be Ok with that”.
I wish life had a rewind button. This world then wouldโve been a lot happier place to live in and I could tell somebody that the best thing that has happened to meโฆIโm finally smiling for me again and mean it.
Sure life is difficult. Itโs not easy either to make it enjoyable. Very often happiness is eyed as something curious that doesnโt always makes one happy. Pleasure, joy, contentment, satisfaction- not all of these coincide with happiness. These are merely experiences that overlap feeling of being happy and are not the kind that arises from within.
Lately Iโve been reading a lot about happiness and what people do to be โhappyโ. I think Iโm a generally happy person but Iโm also genuinely curious to know if there is some key to happiness. Honestly, not many of us even know what to do to inspire happiness from within. Many would say that people generally put in little effort into trying to be happy. ย But I guess there are definitely ways that could help anyone to be a little happier. Itโs already inside you and to find it would simply mean figuring a way in. ย
Youโve no doubt read a lot of hype around the concept of happiness: where to find it, how to feel it, how to keep it. But if you ever feel like you need a little more of it in your life, dive in here and see if these 7 ways resonate with your quest.
Change is inevitable
One of the most notable traits to grow happier is our intrinsic ability to accept and adapt to change. Children leaving the nest, careers evolving, uncertain health, maturing relationships; every transition calls for a similar shift in our disposition. Just how much we are ready to accept decides the size of footprints of happiness for us. ย
I had never wanted to be badgered by the most common regret people often rue about; โI didnโt allow myself to be happier. Maybe I couldโve done something about it. It just didnโt end up my wayโ.Since I chose not to be self-denying, Iโve found happiness in my control. I didnโt resist or feared change but embraced it gracefully. Guess, I needed to know when my life shifts.
Today, I find myself doing things that make me happy.
Donโt fake it.
Happiness has never been about being happy all the time. Life is full of uncertainty and faking beatitude would mean emotional upheaval at one time or another. Sure, it would buy you short term gains but at the price of long term pains. Fake it โtil you make it is not real life.ย Being alive means having the privilege to feel everything โgood or bad and live through it.
When you try to block feelings that are meant to be felt as a human, you donโt get to experience life to the fullest. Happiness is after all just one piece of the puzzle. So donโt fake it. Let it happen of its own.
Before long youโll know itโs been worth waiting for.
Image source: pexels.com
Be alive
In the busy haste of everyday life itโs not uncommon that physical activity slips out of our priorities. To be alive and active everyday practice of going for a brisk walk, yoga, gardening or even dancing around the living room would lead to the release of endorphins, the โfeel-goodโ hormones. This induces positive sensations in the body and would result in mitigation of stress besides elevating the mood.
I swore to get out of a deadpan life and stay active the moment I realized that being that peppy and sharp isnโt just about staying fit; itโs like giving your body and mind a big shot of happiness and gratification. Itโs like me telling myself, โHey, Iโm taking care of you, it feels pretty darn good and you should be grateful for that!โ
GeeโฆThirty years down the road, I no longer feel stuck, unfulfilled or lost!
Forget the past
Life is never short of its share of regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities. Yet, it appears happy people would always found a way to stay clear of a whole lot of aches and pains. I guess they learn quickly; that forgiveness is the only way out. Holding onto past hurts and disappointment only serves to rob you of your joy.
Rather than clinging to past wrongs or dwelling on what better I could have done, I chose to forgive โ not necessarily because others deserved it but because peace seemed legit to me. I wonder how better I couldโve served myself.
Once freed from the past, I imagine I have saved myself from the chains of regret and bitterness and maybe saved some room for greater happiness and peace as well.
Be kind to yourself.
Itโs so easy to beat ourselves up and proclaim that nothing is good enough. But as they say โgratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.โ It helps good times roll again, make you feel more positive, improve and deal with adversity and build strong relationships.
Walking through it allowed me to see that there are lots many things in life that are more worthy of my attention. I needed to work to bring happiness in my life and in those around me. No bubble baths or partying around for me but Iโve been nice to myself thereafter. That stuff would have made me feel good but I suppose itโs more about giving yourself the space to figure things out without flirting with those hippy-dippy things that people do to be cool.
So, if you are working on being happier, just let go of the unpleasant in life; your gratitude will help you get there fast.
What happiness looks like to you?
Regardless of where you are on the happiness scale, each one of us has their own way of defining happiness. The hard part is that many a times we chase other peopleโs definition. We often succumb to popular version of happiness and end up with a great deal of unhappiness.
So, to be smiling and happy again, you need to determine what it should look like to you. Be brave enough to step into your life and figure out for yourself what makes you happy.
You need to know what you want your life to look like.
Image source: ‘July notes from Dr Klug’ in healthspankc.com
Never rush through life.
Itโs a miserable choice and robs you of all chances of being happier.ย Being โrushedโ is quirky and would make you sad and out of sorts. True there is not much you can do about it but the balance is just right when you live out a comfortable productive life.
I think setting up goals is great but you need not be in a hurry to get things done. It leaves so much wasted time not soaking in life fully. So, โstop and smell the rosesโ before pushing on. Let thegood and the bad wriggle their way into your life. It will be a real experience and help you to understand what happiness is all about.
While everyone is different, there are definitely ways that are easy for everyone. All you need is to come forward, figure out what brings joy to you and stay focused without throwing up your hands when it comes to your well being. And if you find yourself nodding along, stay on course; donโt give up.
Image source: ’21 Hilarious Things to Do For a Phenomenal Time’ by susanwhited0 in joyamongchaos.com
What is it that makes this World one truly happy place? Are there really no shortcuts to happiness? Do we need to get some kind of foothold for a peaceful life first?
Seriously, I am intrigued when I find people binge-watching, eating mindlessly, going on buying spree even when perhaps they don’t truly need things, and half expecting these as the only things that will make them happy in long run. Of course we all do certain things for survival but very few to feel happiness. Sometimes itโs the combination of positive habits that is enough to make us happy. But isnโt that somewhat similar to finding distractions in life; pushing your boundaries to be happy even when youโre not enjoying them?
This World is definitely a wonderful place to live and be genuinely happy about but we need to create one wonderland of our own worth living in. For now we live in a deeply imperfect one.
Itโs not what we say that matters. Itโs what we do that counts
A person being told that he or she has lost weight, climbing into bed with freshly washed sheets and seeing an old couple hold hands, might help brighten the day briefly. But unlike others I am not Ok with a laid back living. It gets too bland when life goes topsy-turvy. A quick thank you from the boss after a terrible day at work, your favorite song on the radio when youโre fuming stuck in traffic; does any of this is enough to make you utterly, ridiculously, jumping-up-and-down happy?
Well, it never worked out for me. I tried fervently, butโฆ
All I could think of was how to come up with a running list in my head- things that I could refer back later. A bad boring day was like a tartar sauce that tasted indescribably bland, insipid, warm and like some gooey cardboard. Hard as it was to crawl out of the day, putting everything in one place under my bonnet would somehow make me feel smug and comfortable; and it was some fun too! Nothingโs too big or small to add, I would remind myself.
Guess, I was catching on but would unwittingly condemn every single lesson to my fridge only!
Image source: ‘How to stay fit forever: 25 tips to keep moving when the life gets in the way’ by Emine Saner in The Guardian
I would still get stressed and flip out over stupid stuff. I had stopped calling the people who mattered. I was ignoring those closest to me. I was neglecting my own needs though I would still rush around and check off things on my never ending mental to-do-list. And yetโฆ it sucked. Waking up early, making coffee and sitting down alone for a quiet time on the couch, afternoon naps on days off; nothing would work for me until one fine morning it occurred to me;
I was eating away on my time. I badly need a mental shift more than making a list of what would make me happy.
Hereโs what I did to turn the World around me and become a better place to live… and be happy about it! A fleeting happiness, a whole afternoon happiness, or warms my heart from the inside kind of happiness; I would never know but theyโre all wonderful.
So, when life goes for a spin and youโre in a tizzy, take a moment to notice the things I did to sway happiness my way.
I learned to love and accept myself
Oh dear! Why it took me so long to learn to love myself inside out. It was so much more about letting go of the things I couldnโt change and appreciating what made me unique.
Being comfortable in your own skin isnโt always easy but itโs a good start to begin with things that make you special. I would let go of the things I cannot change and focus on celebrating my accomplishments. I was planning ahead, thinking positively, getting involved in my surroundings; and being kind to myself.
As it turns out, self-acceptance is not an automatic or default state. Many of us have trouble accepting ourselves exactly as we are. But itโs not so hard to accept the good parts of ourselves.
Doing just that did would help you climb out of the slump!
Hanging around with loved ones rejuvenates
There are moments in everybodyโs life when we find ourselves alone, either by choice or circumstance. It then becomes essential to find comfort in presence of people we love most. It would encourage us to cherish our own company, find joy in our own thoughts and recognize that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely. Having someone you can rely on, someone you can share your high and lows with, is a beautiful feeling. Your soul mate, friends or even your petโtheir company could surely make you happy.
So, hang around with someone you adore. Itโs exciting and would help lift your world.
The joy of giving is a heart winner
Receiving is a great feeling but short-lived. Our lives are fulfilling when we give and share. The truest joy is felt when we share and help others to better their lives. A kind gesture howsoever small, is sure to brighten your day, kindle self-esteem and bring happiness and that to the other person as well.
Giving in fact takes you out of yourself and expands beyond your limitations. It results in an experience of love, joy, peace, charity, caring, and self-worth. You could get a glimpse of ecstasy once you open a conduit for the kind of happiness that no one can ever steal from you. It is an intrinsic reward -far more valuable than what you receive.
Image source: ’19 personality development tips that will make you unique’ in timesofindia.indiatimes.com
Have something to look forward to:
Itโs totally a normal reaction to your present if you experience disappointment or some sense of grief around the loss of future plans. Something as small as your wedding being postponed, random health issues or the loss of a loved one, may leave you sad and wistful- but you shouldnโt. When in a rut imagine of a new potential future- one with good times. It rekindles.
I had learned to believe in making the right choice and to strive to live a purposeful life. It was kinda pleasant distraction and would make me optimistic of the future. It motivated me to keep going when Iโd otherwise want to give up. So, watch out for small pleasures; youโll end up with something to look forward to in an otherwise average life. Loosen up a little and you’ll run into more opportunities to be happier.
Keep moving even if life gets in the way
Can you carry on with exercising when youโre not motivated enough, weather has turned for worse or your schedule has become overwhelming? Itโs not hard to guess whose call that would be. When itโd come to exercising your options I wouldnโt think twice think about how to โgetโ fit. But often, starting out was not the problem; maintaining it was though I knew that it provides more gratification and the cost of not doing it were higher. Of course, itโs helpful not to try to make yourself do things you actively dislike; but then you donโt have to love it to do it if stakes are so high. I learned to like what I liked as a child. I didnโt really enjoy exercising but I felt better whenever I did it.
So, keep your shape and lifestyle in check; it would work wonders to your emotions. Look for holes in your daily schedule that you can fill with exciting activities and let the rest happen of its own.
Image source: ‘How to plan and benefit from a successful digital detox’ by Layla Todd in mohamadkarbi.com
If youโre still wondering if any of this holds the key to your happiness, believe me itโs the only way to be genuinely happy and to see you through the end. It would mean you have done your bit to bring a real and lasting difference to your life. It would mean youโre ready to roll up your sleeves and face the life with a smile and wonโt hesitate to push your boundaries.
And above all it would mean shaping a better tomorrow for your self – starting now!
Life has a mysterious way of throwing curve balls our way and challenging us even when it fulfilling. Middle-aged parents, people deep into retirement or somewhere in between-it doesnโt matter; there are times when we could hear ourselves saying โIโm stuck.โ This is the time when we feel like giving up on everything. We begin to lose hope on our relationships at home, office, business, college or friends at some point.
I know it sucks… but itโs just that we feel hopeless about ourselves mostly because of low energy levels and lack of motivation to the point where getting out of bed becomes a struggle each morning. On some days we are tired and wish if we didnโt have to push us anymore.โOn others we simply yearn for a day off. I have felt this countless times and still do sometimes. Every time whenever I feel like giving up, I remind myself; โIโm not alone in thisโ.
I have had a strong familiarity with this feeling for long. In fact, I think my emotions are just as dramatic as my life. People all over the world may have felt the same way but strangely every time whatever I experience, it passes and better days always come back. Geez… guess Iโve had learned to hold onto myself whenever things go haywire and Iโd want to give up.
A few years back, I was abysmally stuck in lifeโs rut, struggling and feeling like I was going nowhere. It was as if I was living the same day on auto replay, a unending loop of dreariness and loss. It was maddening. I longed for a change but was scared of the risk and uncertainty. I was stuck in my old habit patterns and badly needed to break free and bring some good changes in my life. Iโd though end up each day doing the same thing without trying anything corrective. All I knew that I needed to do something but just knowing that wasnโt enough.
Dying for a change, I looked around for ways to slip away from this standstill. Somehow, I desperately wanted to add reassurance to my life where someday I might find myself telling me; โIโve done a lot better than last time and Iโll do better next timeโ.
Thatโs my side of the story, butโฆ
If you think you too are missing on something in life, capable of doing great things but donโt know how to break loose of the rut and fear that youโre not living your best then youโre as badly stuck as I once was.
In my journey, I had checked on people whoโd experienced nothing less and had eventually walked out of their miseries. It was my call and Iโm glad that I didnโt hang back! Over the time their insights have truly brought a difference to my life; pushing it from slow decay to a smart shape up. So, if somehow youโre enduring a rundown life, crumbling and feel deserted, this is the time to make promises to you. And knowing how would surely inspire you to find an easy way to climb out of your why.
These 4 life-changing ways might just be your fire ladder for a way out.
Image source: ‘Happiness at work: Stop climbing the ladder’ by Eric Stutzman in achievecentre.com
Take a break- You need it
Giving yourself a break- when life feels jinxed, is one good way to sit back, mull, weigh and iron out some of your sorrows. Besides havenโt you been working so hard recently that you almost forgot to take a break? Burnout is for real if you push yourself around too hard for long. Taking a break and starting afresh will give you the new energy you need. It is then youโll get to appreciate what it means to come back with a new spark. This would also afford you some spare time to learn, listen, connect and win support. You might be stuck only because you donโt know enough about what youโve been dealing with and the kinda change you need.
Going back to the drawing board for a fresh start makes learning easy. Books, YouTube, Play station, Nintendo, Social media โ almost any pleasure preference is a good start to begin with; for all that thatโs worked for others, might work for you just as well!
Be sure to stay with your โWhyโ
โIt all starts with whyโ. Even Simon Sinek an unshakable optimist had double checked the adaptability issue in his global bestseller. My guess is that whenever you could manage a close peek at โWhyโ, it helps you to keep going. So, when the thread begins to slip out, go back to the very reason for starting what you want to give up now. If you find that youโre still passionate about it, youโll get enough courage to continue.
For me, thinking about the reason alone was enough to turn back from giving up. Even when I didnโt make any progress, I didnโt regret anything for I knew that I had kept going despite towering odds. And that was enough to cheer me up! My favorite line when I waded through something deep was no less persuasive! … โSomehow this one too shall passโ. This way I could stay afloat and strong and wait for signs of improvement. It helped me calm down and stay put when everything else felt coming apart. Telling myself this affirmation over and over again would never fail me.
Even to this day, I keep telling myselfโฆhold and carry-on like always!
Image source: ‘Why do I feel so negative all the time?’ in greatmindsclinic.co.uk
Thinking of whole staircase? No wayโฆ
It is easy to feel overwhelmed when we think about the mountain of leftover things to do that lie before us. Sometimes we donโt feel like moving even a finger and would rather give up believing that we may not get the results. Whenever this happened, I wouldnโt think of the whole staircase I had to climb; just kept an eye open for the next step. Breaking the whole process into simple steps and picking up on one only each day would spare me a bunch of rollercoaster rides ahead.
After all the future doesnโt lie with you and you donโt have the past either to dwell upon. Itโs only โnow and hereโ. Doing what you do today will eventually make everything work for you.
Be curious-It’s your best antidote
When we have our backs to the wall donโt we all get easily snared into despair and sadness? This often is the result of lack of new experiences. Youโre zapped of the desire to try something new and would feel cornered unable to get out.
Whatโs the antidote? Try out new things even if you are not the curious type. Let those sparks of interest- no matter how small, handhold you for a while. A movie, theatre, Ted talks, interviews, bookโฆif anything piques your interest, dive headlong into it. Nothing will appear different immediately, but slowly fresh ideas will begin to excite mind and youโll be alive again, ready to explore anything new. But donโt just stop at these small curiosities. Few things as simple as playing tennis, even when youโve never held a racket- or jogging through a different neighborhood are just as good to change your perspective. Your each step big or small is one stride towards a better tomorrow.
I live in a world where food is delivered to my door step, cab comes to my home for a scheduled pick up and Amazon takes care of all my household needs โ everything just a few clicks away! The World seems not be in a hurry but on some days Iโm more stirred than ever. Have I done enough? What else could I have done to make life a little more meaningful? I then, look back and count my achievements. Of course, itโs not easy to think how far you have come and others have gone far ahead. But I guess it was only about opening doors that I didnโt know even existed before and let myself be surprised by what lay beyond them. Like I said before I never forget about the journey I took.
Image source: ‘Feeling stuck – 5 tips to escape life rut’ in barelytherebeauty.com
Today I weigh myself with me only with what I was yesterday- and happiness returns!
For couple of weeks I wore myself out to have a taste of intense feracity and it was miserable! I busted my guts falling to the foxy idea of 4.00 am head start to boost my mood, focus and outlook. Everybody had said so!
But it didnโt work for me. Itโs doesnโt for most people either. I knew thatโฆstill I counted on a bit of luck and a lot of meaningful success. I had imagined Tim Cook, Reid Hoffman or Lady Michelle Obama patting me back for attempting to start crafting an ideal life! The thought was simply overawing! Yet it sounded daunting to me. What was I looking at; the secret chilly way to success or chills in return?
I guess thereโs some truth to it when people say that 4.00 am scramble would let you seize open hours for some thoughtful work and self improvement; else why would Tim Cook (CEO-Apple) start his mornings so early or Sallie Krawcheck (CEO-Ellevest) would come alive at 4.00am. An early start allows you to tackle tasks and have a leg up on emails before distractions hit, they sayโ and I agree; itโs arguably the most prolific time of the day!
So, all ramped up I decided to join the 4.00 am club to see if I could truly catch an early worm.
I had plan for two weeks but I barely lasted one!
It suckedโฆliterally!
While Iโd no longer be aiming to follow Cook or Krawcheckโs morning drill anymore, it did buy me some valuable insights. It was great trial. I got closer to picking up an ideal morning groove for me.
Image source: ‘The benefits of sleeping outside’ by Jenny Sansouci in healthycrush.com
To save you some savagery, hereโs what my morning routine looked like in a dry run:
4 a.m.: Alarm sounds. Itโs a 50-50 chance that Iโd hear it right away and wonโt hit the snooze button.
4:20 a.m.: I am out of bed. I managed to get out of bed at 4 a.m. on the dot only once. Most mornings, I didnโt even hear it until 4:20. The one positive gain of consistently oversleeping for another 20!…Iโd shoot out of bed feeling left behind with a sense of urgency in the same way you feel when you think your alarm didnโt sound and the day has gotten away.
4:30 a.m.: I make my bed in 2 mins flat. I found it immensely helpful to immediately start and finish something, no matter how small. What more, it required me to stand up and do something active with my hands. It would take me another couple of minutes to tidy up thereafter.
Then, Iโd have my morning tea, Iโd skim through the headlines, work out, shower and by then it will be 6.00 am. This is when I would typically wake up and get down to being ready to hit the day.
But as I said my โ4 a.m. weekโ was in fact miserable. It felt as if I had slept for 2 mins and woken up right in the middle of the night. I would feel โOffโ right from the get-go. It was so early that my body couldnโt even register the alarm! Frazzled and hung-over for most part of the day, I would be ready to hit the wall around by 3.00 in the afternoon.
I couldnโt figure out at all how to fix this and cope with fatigue; instead I ended up front- loading my mornings- making sure that I finish most of my work in early part of the day and leave little or nothing downstream.
I thought that by doing so, Iโd have more freedom for myself. But Iโd be too exhausted by night fall and couldnโt do much more than watch Netflix and hit the pillow early. I found myself cancelling most late night plans which were not possible if I were to hit the sack by 10.00 p.m. I felt drained and found myself counting down the days to the weekend, not because I was unhappy with my arrangement and desperate for time off, but because I ached to sleep in. My eating schedule was next thrown off. Ravenous in the morning Iโd finish lunch before noon which made it ticklish to time dinner.
Hoping that some magic of day-larking would rub off on me, I had traded in my usual 6 a.m. rise time for 4 a.m. PityโฆI got stuck up with a sly schedule that was no fun.
Image source: ‘World Sleep day 2023: Do you have problems falling asleep?’ in business-standard.com
Is 4.00 am the magical time โor just pure misery?
Would you still face these issues if you sleep for eight hours and wake up in wee hours? The answer is โYesโ. No matter how much sleep you catch- if youโre not wired to come alive at the wolf hour, you might be messing with your normal beat- and thatโs sheer torture. It hurts and works to break you down eventually. Even if you think that missing out on just a few minutes would spoil nothing; think again. Losing out on even 15 minutes of sleep could seriously plough your day. Hold back or speed up your bio clock for a while and you can expect to have the same consequences as not getting enough sleep.
Since my body clock wasnโt set for predawn exploits, my first attempt was a fail. I just couldnโt outsmart my chronotype. After trying and failing for a week I realized that resetting body clock inside me, wasnโt easy. I switched back not sad or sorry! It wasnโt my thing.
Upset? โฆcertainly not.
Even with my usual 6 a.m. wake up, the to-do list would still turn on me as soon as Iโd open my eyes, and for the rest of the day Iโd be playing catch up. For me to wake up so early at 4.00 was in fact a struggle to rise and shine.
It turned out that 4.00 am was truly the magical time; only I couldnโt make anything positive out of it for myself; except that a crash feeling of letting me down would weight heavy into the rest of the say.
Maybe I was being kinder to myself, less reactive and in a forgiving mood!
I couldnโt write a novel but I got more creative!
The only time I remember waking up this early was to catch a flight. I was too dopey then to notice or care about anything around me. And thatโs that. With nothing pressing to do, nowhere to be and no sense of urgency, I couldnโt ask for a simpler way to escape the madness of everyday rut. The bonus time of 2.00 hours had actually brought me some brighter perspectives.
Yet, everyday right out of the gate at 9.00 am, it feels like Iโm missing out on something. Surprisingly, it had actually felt good to wake up early. I miss being a cockcrow person. I could have got a lot done before everyone else!
Image source: pexels.com
Looking back I still remember the best part of being the first on the day breakโฆI had tried rolling out at 4.00 am every day for a week! My distractions will be way down and my creativity way up. A calm start would better equip me to handle whatever storms lay ahead. Cheekily I had sort of thought once to hammer out a genius novel- just like that. But the mornings didnโt magically turn me into a novelist. Instead getting my to-do list done early did mean more creative match-strikes for me throughout the day.
Today, Iโm more likely to binge watch, binge eat, and even binge buy! I drop off with a book and its lights out by 10 p.m. Sleep stays as my best secret weapon. My days are no less bright and my life sticks around just as amazingly!
You don’t have to think big to be outfoxing. Even small changes can bring a slew of difference.
Itโs been a year since wall-to-wall news around generative AI caught the winds and raked up imaginations extensively, picking up on ideas and opinions and offering startling solutions- all free and easy! What more with so much flustering doing the rounds, one thingโs absolutely clear. Itโs here and not going to go anywhere anytime soon. Soon it will get fully integrated into productivity suites and solutions. That would mean a truly easy access to gen-AI in most places. Anywhere from composing e-mails, cleaning up code, brainstorming ideas to performing data analysis; it will have the clue and solution to everything of value.
So whereโs all this going? Whatโs AI got to do with our way of doing things? Iโd say not much right away but Chat GPT might pull the rug from beneath us sometime sooner for itโs got cutting edge tech in its arsenal and promises finer results.
Touchรฉ!Nahโฆnot really. But ainโt all that soft power a bit off-the cuff? Itโs breezy, folksy alright, but I guess it misses completely on the need to get the inside scoop and understand what youโre actually looking for. Itโs revolutionary but with an air of indifference. Lack of academic integrity, limited knowledge, biased responses and inability to multitaskโฆ it sucks! Gen-AI or not; your Monday mornings still wonโt bring you the first smile of the day. Everything will be thin as always and easily roll by.
Unless…
George Soros might have had the answer to this. He had figured it out helpfully; “The outcome of this book (โSoros on Sorosโ) is a summing up of my life’s work. . . As I finish the book, I feel I have succeeded.” Not much of a gen-AI here but who is better equipped to tell what he really thinks and how he thinks and translates everything into a remarkable personal success?
Fortunately, there are just as better ways to evolve and deliver on a better understanding of our future needs. Of course youโll need to open-up to self-discovery and become a curious enthusiast who wouldnโt hesitate to meet a lot of quirky people and is always be looking for fixes to โWhysโ.
These five ways might be the end of your comfort but at the end of the day Iโm sure you will find your Wonderland!
Image source: โHow to handle a toxic work environmentโ in wemeancareer.com
Work out what you stink at
It sounds more of a bluff than some novel fresh career progression stuff, but it sways as you move ahead in your mรฉtier. It lets you find your weak points that need to be fixed and works best when you consider them as gaps in your skill set. What more it makes you stay on your toes all the times to keep tweaking your dexterity and clout.
See…itโs important to stay passionate about succeeding for you know that someone else knows better. Dump your shakiness, lest frailty swells to billboard size and crushes your chance of a win in your line of work!
Desires fire: Pick the right ones
You donโt want to turn into one of those dreadful swellheads; the kinds who love to be in control of the party. Nobody does. So, decide whatโs important; would regulation jeans and white shirt work just fine for you or would you sulk over your clothes and be unpleasantly worried about your appearance. I for one never cared if my wardrobe was good enough to make me friends with vivacious hot finds. It didnโt matter. I chose to stay ahead in areas I thought I was passionate about. So I reached out and cherry-picked what I loved to do most.
From films and music to technology and food; your choice could make the difference. Follow it with respect and intensity and watch everything fall in place. And, donโt forget to share your eagerness to learn. Like-minds evolve easy and better. Besides, itโs more fun doing together than striking out on your own.
Find Filters: โcos theyโre your best bet!
Look around and find people who are smarter than you in the swamps you wish to wade through. Filter info that flows your way while pulling together. Of course this would mean trusting somebodyโs judgment you barely know. Yet be insightful, perceptive and awake; itโs highly likely that someday you may hit upon a brilliant idea or insight that has evaded you this far. Exciting as it is you will be shepherding your ideas to success once you climb down and relent to somebody wits.
Donโt believe in everything far and wide
The world generally lends more eyeballs to the bigger, better and bustling. But unimportant and inconsequential too sometimes have new funky and futuristic moments. A small book released quietly will easily hold its own against all those next-big-things unveiled at splashy champagne and celebrity dos. Then thereโs a strange shaky contrast of feedbacks and reviews to cope with. Everybodyโs ever rushing to make a brutal stab as a critic on the internet. Honestly nothing’s dependable 100 percent!
However so many things escape unsullied. With a โpositive spin“ invent your own inner assessment system. It will let you have a new way of looking at the world.
Image source: โ5 best practices of performance analyzer in Power BIโ in journeyteam.com
Reinventing the wheel could be disastrous
So what if someone got there first? You can find a different way to discover. Youโll at least have the opportunity to flirt with information for a while! Interpret it in a way it hasnโt already been. Nothing is beyond the pale; connect the dots your way and someday youโll hit the brilliance on speed dial. It doesnโt matter if you donโt know the answer to everything right now. Your context and perspective are enough to save you from the shrill din of ;โShut up, you stupid!”
To keep your value and position intact be mindful that when you can do things that others canโt- like anything from optimizing content or coding for the web, you earn an undeniable advantage for yourself. Dredge up! Staying ahead has never been easy. But gradually youโll learn to adapt and improve continually!
Still not with me!
Let Alice inspire you. If I may fill you in; not everything in ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ was conjured from Lewis Carroll’s imagination. Stubborn, precocious and curious, she had to crawl down a rabbit hole, encounter obstacles and get lost again and again but didnโt she finally woke up armed with new experiences to navigate real life better?
Taking risks is scary but standing still is even more. You wouldnโt grow without challenging yourself. Use your weekends and aft-work hours to โdo” something beyond drinking beer and dusting your house.
And come to think of it… most people who are at the top end of the curve sleep not more than 5 hours a day.
Image source: โWhere did I go wrong? Why prospects respond negatively, and what to do about it.โ by Peter Bouvier in linkdin.com
After all life is no fun on the bleachers. You need to engage to be on the fast lane to success.
Youโd know this when you canโt walk past a bathroom without thinking โI may as well pee while Iโm here! Or may be let others come out loud and clear for you. Want to know how?; Simply fall down- if people around you laugh youโre not an old salad yet and thereโs some zing still left in you; if people panic youโre a bummer and burning out fast.
Five years ago I was whisked into the emergency room followed by a stay in a hospital for a good three weeks. Wellโฆthe diagnosis said I had a mutinous pancreas thatโs on a wayward run. Thatโs incredulous! I was aghast. It was difficult to imagine that something unbelievable had happened to me. The ceiling had felt like crashing down on me.
Later with initial stupor over, countless IV syringes and saline and heaps of hastily drawn scratch book pills were lined up to smother my senses in days to come. I was sternly advised to press on with infinite medication and an endless string of consultations without skipping any one of them if I wished to live. The downslide didnโt end there; periodic visits to a cardiologist, an urologist and a physician in that order were meant to be equally upsetting. There was no way out; nothing rough-and-tumble to have a crack at. Besides, I didnโt know how exactly any of that was going to help me cope with an inflamed pancreas; except that I had evaded regression and had stopped slipping. Still it felt like I was a piece of cardboard taped over the broken window in a car, all the while hanging tight โbottom- side-up!
But in the process of being in and out of critical cares, I had an epiphany; a moment when it hit me hard-I am old! Is that for real or am I hallucinating?
Weeks later I recall; the poker faced doctor had begun by asking me questions about my medical history. I shared that I lost my father early to a stroke and my mother had some hypertension related issue. But there was nothing that would clearly indicate that I had any genetic tendency to an endocrine disorder. I was pretty sure; that this mixed gland in me was as bouncy as ever and wouldnโt ditch me. I trusted my anatomy firmly so much so that I could feel the islets of Langerhans pumping happily down my guts. Nothing seemed upended and not for a moment it occurred to me that someday somehow it will capsize- not at least till the end of time. Insulin, Glucagon, Somatostatin, Pancreatic polypeptide, just about each one of them was piping upโฆuntil one day for no reason everything flaked out.
Clearly I was failing when I tried to assure him that โ my fatherโs passing away was merely due to importunate lifestyle and my mother simply was โjust oldโ. At that point, he asked their age when they had problems- heart related and otherwise.
After telling him their age when they began having issues, he smiled and asked, โHow old are you?โ And thatโs that!
His smile said it all. โI felt oldโ
It probably sounds silly โ but until that moment I had never considered myself โold.โ
Ironically-I am and thatโs the truth. The unreasonably snickering doctor was apparently enjoying cannoning this bombshell. So, I did something insanely fortifying โ I decided to have a good laugh at myself! I am no doctor but I thought of it as the best way to cast aside my worries and calm my frayed nerves. Maybe that would blow away the butterflies for good.
At no time I was given to the idea that there was a magic pill somewhere waiting to be found some day and uncovering it would allow me a spin with Peter Pan syndrome- a timeless life. For me, it never was the silver bullet but the silver buckshot that curate a healthy happy living.
Was that good enough a consolation for this new found awareness? JeezโฆItโs shaky but I did find some acuity in what many had shared about growing old before me. Oliver Wendell Holmes was a great help-โOldage is always fifteen years older than I am.โ; and so was Bob Hope; โI donโt feel old. I donโt feel anything until noon. Then itโs time for my nap.โ Eleanor Rooseveltโs one-liner was no less reassuring; โโToday is the oldest youโve ever been and the youngest you shall ever be againโ.
So what the heck! …I accepted.
Itโs onlya graveyard shift; no more. And I saw myself more as a twilight trooper than a nocturnal nutcase. It was funny, cool and powerful and it worked for me fine- the thought I mean! I wouldnโt think of me a midnight misfit anymore. A long life is a gift and getting old is never so devastating that all my friends in heaven would miss me and think- “I didnโt make itโ?
My old lady can vouch for as it has happened to me. Not long ago whenever we would walk out together, sheโd know that a trip to restroom was not an option. Before leaving when Iโd tell her that Iโd better use the bathroom, sheโd be acerbic, โObviouslyโ; but the concern in her voice will be unmistakable.
Image source: pexels.com
Today, I hope that life will fare out as good and happy I imagine it to and everything will work out just as fine for us. Together we will go on enjoying being โold โas one.
I am already feeling better as I say this!
As for you, I want you to laugh out loud if you feel youโre clairvoyance is backsliding and ebbing with age; โWhat was that guyโs name again?โโand donโt forget to tell yourself the truth about aging.
LookโฆAt just about any age we are always mindful about just how happy we want to be. There are childhood days when we grumble to grow up fast so that we can do whatever we want to. In college we want to graduate in a hurry so we can find work and make money. And when working we dream of the day weโll finally retire. Wouldnโt it be cool and well-spent if we sit down and think about what it is we like about the every stage of life weโve been in? Itโs never too hard to uncover some jewel moments and doing that will make you relive them.
Just fill the bill and someday soon youโll forget the commercials telling us ways to fight getting older.
Image source: ‘Why should we renew our minds?’ in mountbm.org
Put up with your life and love to live the way as it is right now. To that end; slow down for a while, debark and list the things you like most about getting older. With notebook in hand and pen clicked and ready, itโs not long before the ideas would begin to flow. Trust me itโll be difficult to stop even if writerโs cramp hurts after 15 minutes of furious scribbling. I couldn’t. I had though kept on writing until my thoughts were exhausted. Honestly, It was one easy way to find my perfect happiness.
Having entered my sixties, I donโt care that I may not have much to contribute after Iโm seventy. And Iโm not sure Iโll have had much left to chip-in before turning seventy-five.
What the dickens! At 60 ainโt I still the bolting roost? And I don’t think I’m going to fade away that quickly or quietly. There’s so much to look and live for!
Image source: pexels.com
Geezโฆnow that weโre living longer, donโt we have the time to write books about living longer?
25:00: time to focus! 24:53: short break for reset; enable notification alerts;
You may โStartโ now…
20:15: itโs time for a longer break;
Stop kicking the can down the road and find ways to be gainful. You might just get away from being looked upon as a messy, couch potato creep whoโs crawling lazy and always falls behind others! Hereโs howโฆ
As the clock strikes midnight, your run-up for the day begins. It will keep ticking for another 86400 times before packing for the day to pick-up a new one! Arenโt you tardy and a little behind time? Youโve already splurged close to 25000 secs lying fast asleep in bed. Thereโs so much to do and not enough time to finish.
Now, youโre all worked up and worry if you could somehow find help to wrap up the stint youโve been working on; study, writing, or coding- it feels like youโre living on borrowed time. “I thought Iโd finish work in time. That might have helpedโฆbut โ!
Nothing to get peevish over except that youโll stand guilty as charged of procrastinating and hamming it up. Your claim that you could easily finish the task will be sounded out as utterly unreal and way off being realistic. As if that isnโt enough, youโll be flagged as a reckless destructive crass who always falls short in managing his time. And all the while youโve been thinking youโve done enough to fix that damn โfritteringโ syndrome and dealt with your jinx! Still you keep crashing out miserably each time you stretch out.
Itโs gross and exasperating!
Still I think itโs Ok to fail trying than to die away doing nothing. And I guessโฆ trying yet one more time doesn’t hurt anybody.
Itโs intriguing in contentโฆI mean this issue of prioritization and productivity. So I decided to dig back into the history a little. A fascinating โinverting timeโ concept where time changes from a negative something; apparently lostโ to a possible positive representation of an event, caught my attention and I travelled back to a 130 page revelation about โWorking smarter, not harderโby Francesco Cirillo who like most of us was a complete spoilsport when it came to studies and completing assignments. He knew little of little of anything let alone find a way to manage time. So when the idea of using of a kitchen timer shaped like a tomato (pomodoro in Italian)- that so nonchalantly hit him one day while prepping meal in galley-it was more accidental than a serious shot at innovating something. But what followed next was to change his life and of countless others forever!
It all started as a feather-brained hack where heโd set a two-minute timer and challenge himself to stay focused for that duration. Curiously this was set to be later used to channel time and train the brain to stay focused by chipping off some extra length of time thatโs otherwise taken to stay tuned. It didnโt end here; short breaks meant to switch off after-efforts, gave him precious minutes to realign and adjust if things didnโt go well in the first instance!
Cirillo had then moved on to fiveโฆ 10 and later 25 minutes followed by a five-minute break; which he thought was fair enough optimal time interval. This meant that โanything less than this was too short a time to get anything done, while an hour-long was way too longโ.
And this is when the โtomato timerโ birthed.
Gif source: ‘Tips and tricks. Unofficial guides and fixes. User edition.’ in forum.zidoo.tv
This is something that you too can do to wriggle out of your daily struggle to be productive. Jeezโฆhaven’t you had enough off being badly road-rolled and knocked around with a ton of tasks to finish and do not know how to complete them? As a matter of fact you run a serious risk of an early burn-out and a steep backslide. So, try your hand on this fancy hourglass for some dramatic results. Doing so would eliminate procrastination from your life and ensure that you stay focused on one task at a time allowing you to work in short bursts of time with short breaks in between.
Pen a draft, knock out a proposal, complete a graphic design project, or dash-off a complex code; breaking your work into 25-minute chunks is hugely beneficial and the pause in between would let you review the progress youโve made so far with fresh eyes to make adjustments where necessary.
Whatโs even better is how easy it is to begin! Simply find a timer (the one on your phone will work fine), and get going. If youโre looking for something more legit, explore the likes of Focus booster, Pomello, Toggl, Clockwork Tomato, Focus to-do. Using a Pomodoro tracker feels edgy at first but after several days your variables will make you wonder why you didnโt pick it up earlier; you may have saved yourself a lot of troubles! Getting something done on time and ticking it off your to-do list can be extremely satisfying.
On the other hand little distractions have the distinction of derailing whole work day in a flash. This would have lots of open ended work left unfinished and would seemingly drag on endlessly. But if youโre keen to work past the point of optimal order and timing, youโd better build up an appetite for โtomatoesโ. Like so, it would save the day for you and set plans for you with gamified objectives and gumptious ends!
Begin by breaking down complex projects in smaller actionable steps. Stay close to this rule and some clear progress is sure to happen since small tasks go together to a bigger end. So combine simpler ones together and ace it. But before that โฆ.
Image source: ‘Why do I procrastinate?’ by Nancy in sweet planit.com
Set the timer to ring at all times since โpomodoroโ is an indivisible unit of time and cannot be broken; certainly not for checking incoming mails, team chats or text messaging. In the moment, it might seem easy for you to justify these internal pulls; โThis email is too important to wait,โ or โItโll take only less than a minute to check my Twitter; that not a real distractionโฆOk!โ
Of course, anything that comes up in between needs to be returned to later. A digital to-do-list to keep track is fine but a pen and paper will do as well. Perish the thought but these small interruptions would lie low and be messy later! You have to take note of them.
But itโs not just the time lost; itโs also the time and energy youโll need before your lost attention settles down and goes live again. After switching gears, our minds stay absorbed with the previous calling for well over 20 minutes before it gathers wits fully. Indulging the impulse to check Face book “even for a minute“ is like blowing away some 20 minutes of trying before you could get back on rails.
Make it a 5 minute break if the disruption is imminent; keep track of the time lost and reflect how best to avoid them next time. Seeโฆ each break is a chance to reset and bring your attention back to what you should be working on. It makes you become more aware of where and how youโre spending your time.
Nevertheless, if you get to finish before the timer goes off, reach out for some over learning or spend this extra time reading up on professional knowledge to improve on your skill set.
Image source: ‘6 ways to improve work-life balance when working remotely’ in calmsage.com
Guess whatโฆat the end of the day youโll be too ready to believe that good things do happen to you too and how much you can get done in a day!
All you need to do is โฆjumpstart your day by thinking in ‘tomatoes’ rather than hours!
Post-work dinners, ringing laughter and upbeat colleagues; this is not the kind of work place that you’d think of as toxic. In fact youโd be disappointed if some cold jerk were to tell you how they party in the Office without getting beached! Dreaming of working there! No wayโฆthere would be no excitement or joy for you.
But honestly itโs still way better than the โforced funโ thatโs on offer for some jobs. From yearly bash- where drunken seniors swagger around with pesky conversations and raucously push the shaky juniors to twirl a leg, to deadwood birthday celebrations around some sleazy old cake and canned juice, to a nerve-wracking night out of โmandatory funโ where instead of bringing levity, you feel dumped. Your uncaring โDrop it. That doesn’t bother me. I would rather not get involvedโ unmindful attitude wonโt be of much help either. The mundane horrors are many!
Iโm not saying that all Office fun sucks. Itโs just that most HRs wouldnโt know how not to put together some crappy, wasted โaccidental drillโ that no one wants to go to.
Meant to be popular as an inspiration to beleaguered drop dead work mule, it loses steam the moment itโs the boss who gets to decide what and when to share. Should you begin to feel like youโre being punished, you can safely assume that itโs your employerโs prerogative! Yeahโฆitโs perfectly legal and thereโs nothing terrible about it.
Think of it like this; youโre to take part in a team building trip to say, an amusement park or an overnight leisure retreat, for neither of which you have any heart and have decided to decline to go. Donโt expect to get those days off! Youโll be looked upon to continue to show up at work. You may find that punishing but isnโt that pretty reasonable? You being asked to carry on with the work if youโve decided to miss the โfunโ. Totally normal Iโd say; no one is going to let you an extra three days of vacation out of kindness of their heart. You wonโt get to bail on that; fears rage others too might join the chorus. โYeah, Iโd rather be snowboarding in some slinky ski town or watching Paul Feig movies at home or hopping around Cafรฉs and glitzy plazasโ; many would count on baring their hearts out than pitch for some eerie partying.
Image source: ‘Yes, you really do have to attend your office holiday partyโhereโs why’ by Kerri Anne Renzulli in cnbc.com on Dec. 13, 2018.
Sometimes the โfunโ part isnโt quite so organized and stays messy all throughout. Gone are the days when annual bash was the only breather in the calendars. Today, you may find yourself climbing ropes or running a three legged race, all the time cursing and damning your โforced’ choice. Post work holiday partying, drinks, pepping up, work place mixers and retreats; in fact just about everything is a cinematic parody stuff now. Youโre meant to behave like a kid rollicking away at a summer camp.
Of course vacations and days-off are a time for fun, but getting โin the spiritโ works differently for everyone. Beyond the general insensibility of such activities, the attempt to revitalize mutual ties often stalls, all because of failed respect for work-life boundaries!
Now that I think about it, isnโt it strange that person like Linda Yaccarino would pick up the wildest job in tech, aware that she was pitted against one of the toughest jobs and a dyspathetic employer ? Gutted workforce, dwindling advertising, Twitter was an utter chaos and on the edge of collapse with little to fence off copy cat alternatives. Guessโฆwhat she was contemplating was a โmeasured pushbackโ to put an end to all the woes. But hard firing the people is cold with no explanation that would make sense. โIโm going to get fired for this.ย I work at Twitter right now, but โฆ is just better. Hereโs to a new Worldโ; every farewell would end on a teary note each time an employee was shown the doors. Twitter was acting like a product and not a service.
Disgruntled and โat oddsโ employee is like buying a Rolls Royce stripped of half the bodywork with a lift kit put on it. My guess is, Twitters reaction to a pretty harmless esprit de corps was intense and at best unnecessary and unprofessional. Making work a little light, less serious and with even lesser โmandatorystringsโ stirs up people enough to take a second look before turning away from work.
Still there is always a time when you simply want to finish work and go home. You have little or no interest to go for an offsite thing. Thereโve been parties that you didnโt attend because of that reason only. Youโd always find a graceful way to stay away from the โgroup pictureโ. But isnโt it also worth asking why you are so opposed to posing? Is it the cruel kindness of a jumpy jittery HR that you despise or have you lost interest in โold newsโ and โorganized chaos‘? Ask aroundโฆand nobody will have the answer.
Whatโs wrong anyways in being humorously contradictory at times?
Donโt get me wrong. Itโs totally Ok if youโre happy at your workplace; youโd tend to work harder than those who are fed up with the grind. But โmanagedโ joy isnโt always a perfect hit. Whatโs important is not a beady-eyed push to mend loose ties; thatโs at best noble but dismissive act. It puts people behind on work and denies what they really want. Besides forced fun is often seen as an attempt to stave off likability for better pay, better benefits, parental leave and better work/life balance or work flexibility. In fact, it only worsens everything, making burn-out levels rise fast while separating work from identities. Whatโs more influencing is that youโd rather finish work ASAP and head home to your actual life where itโs reassuring and satisfying and takes the edge-off uninterrupted.
It though is complicated in what it means to your HR now that heโs doing what he can to hold onto you before you run amok and decide to quit. Heโs always busy trying balancing what he thinks is right for everyone. What then is the fix? โฆif only somehow it can be managed without actually being enforced.
Image source: ‘Job satisfaction wonโt buy you engagement’ by Charles Rogel in tlnt.com. on May 10, 2018.
Put your money where the mouth is
Small time ingenuity might just do the trick. Building actionable perceptions ranging from ‘smart’ library to virtual book clubs, movie clubs and ‘little freedoms‘ similar to slack channels for fandom, make for a good start. Without the pressure of a formal workplace event, affinity becomes intense and more flexible. Petty props like suggestion box or anonymous online questionnaire are the best way to sass out what people are really interested in and why they often feel nervous about voicing their concerns. ย Sometimes gifts and vouchers work even better instead of a deliberate slinging physical soiree.
Of course small changes make a heap of difference but when wrapped up in work, nobody wants to leave the desk for a pickle ball match only to come back to a heapful of work load. Social events or fun activities after hours are equally restrictive and not many would attend. Even when everything is optional, it doesnโt feel great to miss out or to be singled out as one who never joins in.
On the contrary bated enthusiasm lets off the steam when the buzz happens within the Office hours. Itโs a win-win for everybody; generally speaking youโd exploit and enjoy and stand in good stead while the HR would sigh in relief and be alive again looking for dips in productivity.
At the end of the day, I guess there is hardly anything wrong in seeing work as what you do for a living. Itโs nice to get a pat on the back when the work is taxing and you deliver, but would you take โflatteryโ over clean passable work conditions? Nahโฆ nobody would. Youโre worth more than some feeble voice in a karaoke duette.
Image source: ‘Youโre ready to take the HiSET’ in hiset.org.
So, if your company offers you random groovy pizza parties, free Friday beer over reasonable hours, flexible work and a sassy compensation…
Did you know that even spicy foods can make you happy! They say it’s because the body cannot distinguish between spiciness and the peppery pain, and pain releases endorphins in the brain which register as pure happiness. For quite a few it wouldnโt mean anything except tears and sweat. But wait till the “Pepper High Effect” burns you enough to feel Hot, Happy, and Healthy! You just need to build up your tolerance to โscovilleferocityโ.
Like many, I couldnโt do it either; perhaps I didnโt need it after all (whatever lies I tell myself!).
Two or more years ago, I jinxed myself;
I had been telling around that I know how to carry-off happiness for me out of a wet paper bag if needed (whatever that was supposed to mean), had no problem with changing choices and felt I was on my way (wherever that might be, I was certain it was a good place).
And thenโฆunprepared for;
I realized I had never actually made any headway with my flight of fancy. I had conned myself with some fake beliefs. The deceit was blinding!
What does that mean? Where I went wrong with the โHappy questionโ? I needed to find out.
I knew the answer wasnโt quite that simple. Itโs a rare bird that nests distantly or distinctly from person to person, moment to moment, and breath to breath. Whatโs exciting today might hurt tomorrow. So, I tried mimicking facial exercises to pick up the mood;โRest your face five seconds, now letโs do it again five timesโฆ smile, smile, Smile, smile, smile!โ GeezโฆIt was miserable. I just couldnโt do it.
Image source: ‘My life sucks โ Bounce back guide’ by David in meaningfulpaths.com
Hang in there a moment. I wasnโt ready to give up on me.
I didnโt know if it was Ok to believe happiness to be a choice. What if I were to change my ways? Would that leave me content for the rest of my life?Truth is, like everybody I didnโt have the slightest idea about the whole thing. Not altogether. Not 100 %.
Yet there are people who are happy and others arenโt. What brings the difference? Is happiness actually a lifetime option? Whatโs there to be like Jeanne Louise Calment, a perky, jaunty happy soul who fiercely loved chocolate and ate nearly 2 lbs of it every week? Active as she ever was, she had taken up fencing at 85 and was riding bicycles at 100! She even went on to star in โVincent and Meโin 1990 when she was 104! She smoked until 120 and quit smoking only when she could no longer find her cigarette box. โUntil next year perhaps?โ She would say goodbye to the people who frequented her. โI donโt see why not! You donโt look so bad to me.โ; a fond response would never fail to enthuse her. A twinkle in the eye and a subtle grin would momentarily give away her contentment. She stayed witty right until the end came in 1977. She was 122 then!
What was then that kept her going so strongly even at such a ripe age?
Nothing would make us happy unless we choose to
Whenever I fell into the rut of sadness, each time I would hear one single idea– three ways; that we have the option to choose happiness, that it would lead me straight back to my natural state of daily joy and that Iโd be out of my jinx box in no time! It was difficult to face a crazy argument that wasnโt real but felt revolutionary. I didnโt need to let my story of unhappiness hold power over me.
Weeks later, I chanced to hit a thread on Reddit. It went like this;
โThink of your thoughts like the weather; as if they were passing clouds. Weather doesnโt have meaning; sometimes you get storm clouds and sometimes clear skies.โ
I guess what did it do to me was happily shocking and surprising!
It shattered the pall of gloom around me and helped me rise into happiness. In a simpler way- the melancholy was not serving or doing me any good. It needed to be junked. And for once โI didnโt need an excuse to be happy!โ
Image source: ’10 habits to be happy’ by Julianna Summers in newtraderu.com
Donโt wait to simplify life!
For years altogether I have tried to break free of my individual unhappiness. Not much of a success there. I would still be angry about my deprived childhood and resent 30 odd years of surviving a deadwood career. In any case, it always reeked of some kind of heresy as Iโd often find arguing with myself; โWhat!โhow could I to just โsnap out ofโ this straight jacket numbness that is stuck with me since forever?โ
I don’t believe miracles happen, at least not that quickly but yes- I did get it right finally. It had occurred to me that few roads to happiness just do not lead through Oxytocin or Endorphin. The one and only truth that matters is that โIf youโre not happy, you can choose to beโ. Pick up an enduring will, wake up some rugged determination and youโll get better and feel lofty.
Neither do you have to be any good at DIY to get going. Happiness does not demand some external event, an accomplishment, a win, a pat on the head, a struggle or any reason at all. For all I know, you can simply choose to be happy from this moment onwards; for no reason other than that youโre the mostknotty life form, have confusingly interrelated parts- thatโve somehow come together- live in most exciting times and are going around an ever exploding ball of hydrogen at 107000 kmph all the while sitting on an enormous chunk of rock and lava.
Take that in. Donโt wait andโฆfor once keep biology out of it!Nothing is more dispiriting than the burden of unhappiness due to air and appearance you carry.
So start loving somebody; get mushy and if youโre in love, take time right now to reveal. Open your heart before it stops. Even a small touch, massage, hug, hand holding or a handshake works well.
Itโs a hard one on you if you have โno loveโ or โlittle somethingโ to hang on to, but self-love is just as good a fill-in. It shuts out everyone else except YOU to care for. Eventually fondness, generosity and a warm heart would fill your day. Give an unexpected gift, buy a stranger Coffee, rummage your pocket and throw change in that โunfortunateโ hat, or laud and pay a compliment. When you do small favors, fuzzy feelings begin to flood your veins and Oxytocin will flow.
Besides, who would want to live as โJanitor of a Mountain of BSโ (quoting Tim Ferriss) for 50 straight years only to resign to a couch in the corner and drag through the idyllic Golden Years? I would rather not wait for mermaids to spoon-feed me bran flakes and let each day bring me a new jumper! Should I? Nope โฆno way, the idea has run out of gas for me. The fantasy that I do X to be happy has fallen behind.
Image source: ‘Why you should strive to be content, not happy’ in healthwellbeing.com
Honestly, I believe that you donโt need to hang on to outcomes for your happiness. If you do, it will be Ok for a minute, a month or perhaps longer but sooner than later youโll be haunted by the next unreal emptiness in your life.
Donโt hold back; the world has not shrunk yet. You need to choose NOW!
When radium was first discovered in 20โs, people knew little of its toxicity. Its impressive glow-in-the-dark properties made this stunning heaviest alkaline earth metal a popular additive in products like paints, toothpaste, hair cream, and even food items, until years later the entire factory crew of the United States Radium Corp. fell to radiation-related sickness with decaying teeth, crumbling bones and spines that crushed under their own weight. Tragically most of them were to succumb to this lethal discovery not very long after.
Woefully, these werenโtCarl Sagan moments; not until 1995 when his Big Think 1995 stunner โThe Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Darkโ swayed the media with a passionate version of a better world that was all set to debunk a dystopian future. Contrarily, the world had just begun to morph into kinda eerie sink hole that many would today find disturbingly similar to ours. Who would have then thought that an unpleasant legacy of utterly devastating events from 20th century was cursed to follow down to us!
We have heard of appalling stories of Black plague and the dreadful plight of poor in Victorian England, but all seem a distant reality when we imagine the outrageousness of the shattering events of last century that would pale even the Spanish flu of 1920; more than 2 million lives were lost then. Yepโฆsadly the blemish stays very real to this day!
I wish I could travel through time and do something to fix things right. Nah! I know thatโs not going to happen. Maybe Iโd step back and try to dig in the past. Thatโs little shade but I could be ready and waiting for more tumult in time ahead!
So, I hunker down and imagine what if I am born 100 years ago-that would be some horse and buggy days of 1923! At the age of 14, I would be seeing dark clouds of War gathering strength. Hindenburg disaster with 36 dead is already a fading infamy that has finished off the much touted commercial airship program finally. On the other side of the globe, six weeks of brutal Nipponese massacre has left thousands dead in the Chinese city of Nanjing and wrecked any chance of clarity in a chaotic World; itโs more jumpy now than ever.
Incredibly all this is happening when with 22 million dead, the planet is still struggling to recover from the dark days of WW-I! Looks like lessons from the past are gone to wind!
Image source: ‘Defence of the Realm Act of 1914 – History Learning Site’ in humix.com
Eight years later Print screamers are everywhere-โLittle Boyโ has just flattened Hiroshima claiming more than 140,000 lives. I have turned 22 this January. A little later, the enormity of Holocaustwould plunge the world into despair and remorse would prevails over every other catastrophe in telling history. Genocide of six million Jews across German-occupied Europe has shaken even the most hostile cynic.
At 29,I am a young adult now and have survived the upheaval thisfar. Itโs 1952; Polio epidemic has killed 3300 in the US, the Great London smog has smothered another 4000; Mau-mau rebellion has begun to maim Kenya; the 9.0 magnitude Kamchatka quake toll has risen to 4000; misery pipe for a Korean War across the 38th parallel between North and South Korea is shrieking harshly. Tragically, this war will end with millions of casualties on both side and more than 100,000 dead for the UN forces involved.
Come 1956 and Iโm 33 years old, the Hungarian Revolutionโ a countrywide uprising is lifting head. Damned to last for mere 12 days it would leave thousands killed or wounded and nearly quarterโmillion fleeing the country in its wake.
A year earlier Vietnam War had polarized the world. The second Indochina war that began in the fall of 1955 would end in 1975 when I would be 52.
Image source: pexels.com
Fast forward. Itโs 1962 and I am 39 years old. Cuban missile crisis is here to bring the World to the brink of nuclear annihilation. As if that wasn’t bad enough, peace totters in South Asia as Sino Indian war turns into an awful reality.
And sadly weโve just lost Marilyn Monroe this August.
I am 52 years old and its 1975. Together typhoon Nina and Banqiao dam breach in China โ the worst in living history -have decimated 230000 lives.
Double time! Its 1983 and Iโve turned 60. El Niรฑo– the strongest and the most devastating destruction of the century is here. Trade winds have collapsed and reversed. In just 24 hours, sea-surface temps along the coastal Peru have shot up to 7.2degrees F.
Another bite in the arse- the Little Boy lives on! Twelve years later a wave of warm water would trigger weather related disasters in almost every continent. Australia, Africa and Indonesia will be ravaged by droughts, dust storms, and brush fires. Peru will be hit with the heaviest rainfall-11 feet in recorded history. Some rivers would carry 1000 times the normal flow and would cause $13billion+ in damages and untold number of lives.
Image source; ‘Is Climate Migration Already Happening?’ by Annie Gray in emagazine.com on July 19, 2023
Then there will be secondary problems as well. Warm, wet spring would mean an explosion in mosquito stocks; frighteningly high incidence of snake bites will fall out as the hot, dry weather drive mice from high elevations downward for food and water; rattle snake nips would rally next; there will be exponential rise in bubonic plague incidence as wet Spring would favor flea-ridden rodents; shark attacks will spiral due to unreasonably warm sea temperatures; above-normal temperatures would maul Alaskan resources with a noticeable decline in the salmon harvest; and the weather altered phenomena will drive the warmest winter in American subcontinent in 25 years.
Wait! There is something more dreadful here. Earth has begun shifting its angular movement as a result of changing jet stream patterns. The day length has stretched by 0.2 milliseconds.
I wake up with a jolt-badly shaken and drenched in sweat. I could hear my heart pounding hard and blood thumping in my veins; a sinking gut feeling makes me very nauseated. What was that any way? See more see less type of warning about Judgment day perhaps? Shucks! Whatever that nightmare was about, mercifully itโs bubble only- for now. I sigh in relief and slump back. Its half past midnight and Iโm all alive and kicking. I thank my lucky starsโฆYeah! good times are still rolling for me.
So, whatโs the takeaway? Few would think this freakโnโ throwback is no more than hard felt imagination. But if the heat this summerโs been bad enough for you, think of this backslide as your savior. It might just help set you up for more savage times ahead.
Seeโฆ it took us more than 400 years to get used to the idea that the Earth is not the center of the universe, but itโs still unnerving. Antibiotics and vaccines have saved millions of lives, but arenโt some microbes evolving faster than we can find ways to fight them?
Iโve survived SARS-CoV-2,two agonizing years of lockdowns, vaccinations, protocols, confinements and cutbacks and all the stuff. And honestly, I could no longer think that my grandparents had no idea how difficult life is; not really after knowing that they pulled through several wars and catastrophes.
Image source: pexels.com
Today, I live happily tired and anxious for whatโs to come next. Itโs been two years and we are living with the virus. Like many, I too have lost friends and relatives. It was a rough patch alright, but weโve held on and pulled through.
You may come up with thousand and one reasons in argument but wouldnโt it be better to have a heart and save a little breath in a World that lives totally off-the-cuff? I think itโs the best we can do to endure and stop living our fears; it hurts nobody. Besides no time machine or a crystal ball is ever gonna tell you this; โBetter days await usโ.
And if this isnโt reassuring enoughโฆYep! thereโs no way I could tell if youโd sleep easy tonight and thereafter.
I close my eyes for a moment when alone and try seeing the highlight reel of my life. A strange sense of serenity descends and fills me with contentment. Hard to sayโฆis this for real? Have I found it at last? How am I to know that I ain’t at war with myself any longer and itโs the same happiness that everybody hopelessly stalks?
Itโs a shame I couldnโt find honest answers then; but euphoria prevails to this day!
Some say itโs the peace of mind when youโre sheltered. For few itโs about decluttering and repairing to quickly find a new purpose. Others argue that itโs about accepting and letting go whatโs baggy. My guess!… Itโs what we do to stay normal in different moods to bring a desirable change; some squeaky clean happiness and peace of mind.
We all own a panic stricken mind even at the best of times. Not to say itโs a twisted temperament, but it makes people do pretty crazy things in life. I spent my early thirties clambering out of one catastrophe into another, behaving gross at times- chiding, berating and hurting others; often bad smelling with unnecessary lies! It was miserable but I wasnโt sorry for me or anybody. What the heck! This was my roost- my hallway of destruction and I loved being in it.
But there is another side to this story.
Behind all this carnage, I was a genuinely good hearted person. I always tried to be a nice somebody. Guessโฆ itโs because I had nobody around to help me drop my snags and sorrows at dark times.
With crazy thoughts buzzing and booming in my head, I was sledged over and again by a creepy feeling- that of all the people I had hurt, it was no one more than me. I was aware that I had done enough awful things to regret later. It was like being ina kitchen with everything but no sink. I had no way to rinse off all the felony and cheating that was drowning me. More than anything, I was worried stiff that no one had the right answers that would help.
Incredibly, in the thick of all the alarms and chills unwittingly I had missed it altogetherโฆ!
It was so simple, I mean the fix! All I needed was to rearrange my headspace around few mindful things, be wary of what I decide to do every day, behave around them with integrity and try to keep my nose clean.
Not left with much choice, I went about securing my life telling myself- โIf Iโd manage myself with restraint, I would surely find a low-key-life free of conflicts and strife one day!โ
Today, I remember thinking how excited I was- to have chosen a way out.
Know your heartsease
For many things, peace is slippery and difficult to catch. Clock keeps ticking 24×7 and so does everyday life but peace stays distant, unless weโve chosen to be upright in actions and follow for a turnaround.
No matter how tough things were yesterday, today I hit the sack every night with a clear conscience and a wonderful sense of calmness crooning in my ears. I have learned to live and endure. It sure did take me time and trials before I could win. It wasnโt impassable for me. Laugh, swoon, cringe or sob, it wonโt be any more difficult to you trying than it was to me.
Begin by evolving a habit of sticking to โnext right thingโ all the time. It may be difficult at first but some legwork is way better than to drift-off not attempting anything. Thereโs nothing to lose and everything to gain. Stillโฆ
If you think you may fail and couldnโt help slipping back to your old ways; don’t fret! Check for these oddities to know if you havenโt wandered far off and could rally back. See which one has added to your life that you arenโt aware of.
Count on me; youโd no longer need trying if youโve made a hit!
Image source: pexels.com
You endure what you canโt change
Often events change course abruptly without forewarning that we wish hadnโt. Itโs like conjuring things weโve done in the past and wish we hadnโt. And thereโs little we can do to fix them except hope that some good will turn out of it. Itโs only a โZenโ mindset that doesnโt worry much over the past or future or to make amends.
Of course not many of us are exalted like that but if youโre busy living peacefully then most likely you’ve learned not to over think; youโre done with the past and hardly worry about the future. Bills, work, health, anything and everything, do not torment you and you think thereโs hardly anything you need to change.
Great! Youโre free of worries and know well that stress and worry would only disparage your wellbeing. You are clever enough to know that thoughts arenโt for real and would hate sitting on them. You prefer to move on.
Youโre inclined to take things as they come
Ask anyone whoโs happy and content and youโll know why itโs Ok not to resist what persists. Unexpected happens all the time in our lives. Fireballs keep falling in our lap every so often -its life.
But not you; youโre all set and face heartbreaks head on. You are aware that inevitable is fated to happen. So instead of struggling to fix things the way you want, you accept the way they happen knowing that this would turn out to be lot better than youโve thought.
In all honesty, resisting change only makes it harder on us. My guess is โฆyouโre flexible enough and would rather give way to changes.
And thatโs your key to happiness.
Image source: ‘If you do these 10 things, youโre truly at peace with yourself’ by Wendy Kaur in ideapod.com
You choose to slow down
Iโd say that most of us do not enjoy our present. With wandering minds, fleeting eyes weโd reach out to our phone every few minutes in the hope of momentary relief in busted situations. Besides with only an eye and half an ear to surroundings, itโs mostly boring and unexciting.
But youโre not a geek. Youโd gladly take up pursuits that seek to slow you down, yet youโre alive to your surroundings. Youโre fond of reading a book, tending front garden leaves you happy and you adore gleeful escapades in the kitchen. You revel in your mindfulness and admire arresting experiences. You enjoy talking to your friends, love long morning strolls and savor to interact around.
Slowing down sometimes wins us a heightened awareness of the present. Youโve set clear sights on the Circle of life!
You love yourself
Youโre truly at peace if you love being YOU. Not full of yourself, smug or snooty, you donโt need many heads to have a good time or to reveal your best version. Youโre genuinely contented and love your company. Youโre perfectly happy and fulfilled when you go to sleep. In quieter moments you long to hang around with an old friend and yearn for one-on one chat.
Still not with me? If youโre not happy with what you have and what youโd love to do to make others happy, then itโs as much of a different journey as it is for others. Thereโs no single right way of doing things and experiencing happiness. But if you see smile on your partnersโ face each morning; yearn for a cruise to Caribbeans with Fam and every night you cuddle in the bed clean handed; honestly deep down youโre fortunate to rest in peace and rejoice at heart.
Image source: sohib.indonesiabaik.id
Did you catch my drift? For all I know you could be on a couch stuffing your face with potato chips, pulling apart my bag of tricks and waiting for it to happen; but if ย itโs not your work, house, car, or everyday stuff that worries you- then youโve bumped into it , unaware of your fortune.
Just stick together and … In time you’ll stand out big!
Your mind and body are clearly overwhelmed and youโre in serious need of โAlone timeโ.
Itโs like any other typical evening; dinner is fixed but plenty is still happening in kitchen while you slouch in your favorite love seat in the living room and thoughtlessly surf net over your phone. Else, you could be on your day bed skimming through some run-down nonnews daily or folding linen in the bedroom. This is when your old lady drops in and asks you something thatโs faint and inaudible. You couldnโt get anything as your neighborโs canine has all at once decided to howl raucously outside.
Suddenly, your inner-voice crashes into a long uuuggghhh and you can feel adrenaline rising.
Whatโs that…whatโs happening to you? You couldnโt fathom this right-away but if youโre any good in judging yourself; this is your body and brain begging for some โAloneโ time.
Broadly said, itโs time to โunplugโ.
Itโs not only about spending time on your own!
Are you the one who often gets so busy that youโre not left with enough bandwidth to think about your own needs, let alone do anything about them? An eager beaver, youโre incessantly thinking about your work and worried that you might miss the chance to prove yourself, if you arenโt available 24×7. Childcare, eldercare, regular messy errands like paying bills, keeping the house clean; just about anything would jump to throttle your faintest desire to make time for yourself and your needs; all because youโre always on and would do little to change the way things happen to you.
On the face of, itโs looks repressive; like everything just gets thrown in your day. But not every messy moment is sign of sickness. Easy as it is you get caught up in this web of constantly doing things, most of the times you are drawn into the maelstrom-one way or the other. At best nothing hurts but itโs important to occasionally step away from it all, to ward off a complete collapse. That, of course would mean spending some time on your own with yourself. On the contrary by not allowing yourself the comfort of #me-time, you run the risk of a faster burn-out, both emotional and physical.
Fortunately, itโs not so hard to recognize the warning signs that youโve pushed yourself far enough and itโs time to look after yourself well. By doing so you could top-off with some zip, calm your frayed nerves and enjoy the much-needed happiness. Your mind and body will thank you for properly looking after them!
Image source: ‘Atasi stres dengan 8 kegiatan Me Time ini, praktikkan, yuk!’ in sohib.indonesiabaik.id
Sometimes itโs better to take a step back!
Me time is all about being present with yourself; mind and body. Itโs a conscious effort to revive and restore you. Even doing something as simple as having a bath, reading a book, going for a walk, performing yoga, getting your hair or nails done and so many more, can course-correct you put you back on rails when youโre alone with your thoughts and inattentive of your surroundings. Pep talk! Nahโฆbelieve this, our mind and body are entwined and hooked together and to work side by side, they need to be in sync. When they arenโt, stress and tension manifests as aches and pains in our body and throws everything out of gear.
I guess this explains why #me time is so important and how attempting it every so often would let you figure out the needs of your mind and body and answer likewise. Youโd have successfully spent some quality โme timeโ once youโve set about a mid-course correction allowing yourself downtime to heal and recover. ย
Lucky for me, I recognized the early warning signs that I had pushed myself a bit too far just in the nick of time. I noticed that I hadnโt taken a break for long and was long overdue for some time on my own. I needed to make sure that I was pampering myself properly and not being tricked into believing that allโs well with me- one hundred percent!
So, what EXACTLY did I do to live out a better version of me?
Itโs a buzzing world around us that makes it nearly impossible to line up some time for ourselves. There is always this revolving door of reasons that pushes โme timeโ for tomorrow and when tomorrow turns today, everything stays unchanged.
Knowing why, how and when to schedule โalone timeโ was what charted new bearings for me; a scrupulous good self care trail and an attempt to live out the best version of me.
Image source: ‘Making a lasting difference’ in jbjgroups.com on Feb.27, 2023
Again, this could be different for every one of us. We take time-off for ourselves in many different ways. We choose to wake up twenty minutes earlier than the rest of the family and spend a little bit of #me time with ourselves; many prefer a quick morning stroll and few more would love to take a day-off and be left unto themselves in peace.
To cut things short, following pursuits like deep breathing allowed my body to burn off stress induced Fight or Flight mode and reset it to Rest and Recap mode. Once reconnected with mind and body I became aware of every single part of me. And then I knew I was safe.
Contradictions for the most part are irrefutable but if you happen to have mind or body concerns, niggle and stabs and all the gross irascibility that goes with it, you need to delve into them first. Talking to your bosom silently brings comfort and helps quieting your insides.
Ask yourself what has gone wrong to cause the disquiet and look for antidotes to help heal. If thereโs something that you cannot repair, thatโs okay. Now you know for sure whatโs hurting you that you cannot diminish of your own. Corner it and take help if you think thatโs the cure or else box it up in the corner of your psyche. It will eventually wane and die down. Once done, itโs a quick note that youโre out of harmโs way.
I never knew all the answers, but accepting this unfamiliarity was in fact wonderfully informing. I was in tune with my mind and body at last. It was kinda hard, took a lot of efforts but ended well for me.
What are you waiting for? Donโt miss your window
Have you ever felt sorry for yourself for taking time off to be โAloneโ? Do you wait anxiously for guilt pangs to drown you in an emotional grave all because youโve set aside important work for some apparently thoughtless โpast timeโ? I guess shaming yourself like this is gross and inundating. Caring for yourself is the only way to stay a cut above the rest in your life.
If you ask me, to be YOU in your โAlone timeโ is your magic reset button.
So, go ahead; pamper yourself, take a nap, unplug social media, watch a movie, fete yourself, indulge in a hobby or simply sit idle -do nothing. Take life at your own pace. Go and relax in that comfortable chair in the verandah, chew over your thoughts, do some heart searching and Iโm sure youโll be fired up like never before. Start by giving yourself as little as 5 minutes of โme timeโ; itโs restorative and reviving ย but something like a day or more of quietness will change the way you live remarkably.
Image source: ‘ Reasons alone time is important in a relationship’ by Lilian Osigwe in 1stnews.com
Of course, nothing promises that you could ever be really โoff.โ But by watching over, you can be utterly sure that you have begun attending and taking care of yourself. โAlways onโ doesnโt have to be an end of your personal needs.
Itโs just that spending few quieter moments to slacken would ensure that your life scales are not going to tip off center anytime soon.
Love is mysterious โฆand perhaps the most lasting one. One most shocking truth about this โsee more see lessโ passion is how quickly you can go from loving someone to absolutely hating their living guts? The person for whom youโd have died for nothing suddenly becomes the โMost Abhorred Personโ in the World. Failed love somehow begins to look like the beginning of war!
Curiously unpleasant? Yesโฆbut surprises donโt end here! For all we understand or our brain can decipher, hate is no FL less profound than love! The network here essentially works similar to a two part wet floppy and often is all the reason behind a โmonkey mindโ; one that distracts, disorganizes and builds up chaos when youโre indignant, pumped up and unhappy butโฆquiet. One part of this inflexible intellect called Putamen boots on rejection and end only in contempt and disgust; the other one insula makes you plan and bleed. It shores up responses when youโre distressed and in anguish. Yet, the two sides -loyal to passion, romance, love and hatred- are the reason it takes time to burn out a relationship.
The idea of like and dislike is likewise interesting. I doubt if I am alone in saying that I donโt like most people I come across and Iโm fairly certain that most people donโt like most people either.
Interestingly, love and hate are not some kind of a defying experience. Ending up hating the person you loved for so long and not knowing why, is profoundly jarring and sometimes difficult to handle experience. Knowing that you could ever hate someone you used to madly love, is absolutely heartbreaking and would have you gutted.
So, what would you do when you find yourself crossing lines in awful ways with someone you love? ‘Not much’-most of you’d grouse, I guess. For all its sheer doggedness, hatred wonโt ever let you end a relationship in a peaceful way and love will keep returning to be disappointed. For all I understand, itโs normal to hate but soโs loving someone. When youโre in a flux, implicit rationality fails to rebalance anything. Unwittingly youโll keep resizing the image of that person. Another fumble here is the more you let the bad blood build up to glean your love, the bigger the hate gets until it destroys the connect completely.
Itโs a thin line but there are ways to keep that bad feeling from getting out of hand! Love is complicated but how the hell could anyone find hate in the midst of love? Of course there is no such thing as too much hate and too much of love. But the dynamics- of- duo is a normal part of getting closer. Feeling hurt and negative towards the other person does not necessarily mean that youโve been conned into a wrong relationship or some creep has stolen your love unfairly. Hating your mate in the moment does not mean that you donโt also love them. Itโs just that the good isnโt as good as it seems if you arenโt occasionally contrasting it with something bad. See…We all need emotional potpourri sometimes to make a relationship tick. And it doesnโt have to be positive all the time to make everything happy and healthy; feeling good all the time might just get boring!
I hate you, then I love you . . . I hate you still more, only to love you more
While emotional encounters are compelling; personal situations sometimes pull together and affect the change of hearts. On the other hand when you think youโve been understood correctly it makes you feel like your connect is strong and worth fighting for. Contrasting opinions apart, itโs an all good, plain and simple cloud none for you. And what more! it gets all the easier once you know how to keep that love-hate mix useful!
Image source: ‘My life at home- I hate how life goes for me’ by h2micsam in wattpad.com.
As opposed to suppressing bad feelings that may evolve into bigger weep later, begin by looking at your mateโs perspective before asserting your POV. This way itโs easier to understand why they feel the way they do. Odds are that you may still end up with strong arguments over the fall out; but I guess itโs always better to struggle a bit and survive than die driving each other crazy.
This is a bit apocalyptic to those who grown cold feet easily and would resist an eye-to eye; reach. Still, there are ways to set things right in a scarred relationship.
Should you or you shouldnโt? What the heck! Dump debating yourself even if youโre hurt bad. After all, thereโs no harm trying and who knows someday you might hit the happy lyrics again.
Stonewalling! Nahโฆnever
Even if everything so far has been upsetting and nasty, you need to avoid the three horsemen of an impending disaster; blaming and repeatedly slamming your partner with disapproval, youโre prickly to the extent of being offensive and most disastrous of all youโre rubbing the salt hard by bad mouthing. Break off and youโll stop the slow burn.
Presume innocence-It works incredibly well.
How many of us have done dumb, stupid or hurtful things that have tormented our relationship? Intentionally or unintentionally we often hurt someone we love, though the choice to believe in something good about somebody rather than something bad-when we have the possibility of doing either- lies with us.
You may not know whether their story is true or not, but once you decide to believe in them, a refreshing sense of caring and understanding will prop up in your relationship. Nothing could strengthen your connect more than conveying trust and appreciation.
Image source: ‘Why are love and belonging needs important?’ in demystifyinglife.com
Take a moment off to appreciate your mateโs forte
Changing the way that you think about your mate actually trades the way that you feel about them and affects the ways you act with and react to them.
Find ways to slow down your thinking and act until you are calm and can think it through. Believe in your mate and their willingness to do things in the best interests of the relationship. Err on the side of the positive and youโll be touched and tipped-off when needed most.
Imagine you are part of the same side
Itโs not about who wins the fight and who decimates whom. When you could not think as one, itโs time to figure out a solution. Killing time in locking horns only worsens everything. Besides itโs not an easy way forward, when your mate is not playing by the same rules.
So, in the heat of the moment when your anger begins to get better of you; allow yourself some space, reflect over your mateโs oddity and remind yourself of the happy times together. If you really believe that not all bad that happens is meant to be bad, remind yourself over and over again of something as simple as โI must understandand not dwell on ill willโ. This would let you to โagree to disagreeโ when no amount of fighting is going to change your minds.
Image source: ‘An open letter to long-distance loved ones in the midst of COVID-19’ by Haley Stern in thriveglobal.com
Still with me? Great, because someday you may also say โthank you dearNatโ for showing you the way to not let anything fall apart!
Sometimes I’m happy, Sometimes I’m blue. My disposition Depends on you.
Sometimes I love you, Sometimes I hate you. But when I hate you, It’s ’cause I love you!!
Imagine this; you havenโt been sprinkling maca powder into your smoothie every morning and most likely havenโt heard of trendy super foods. Youโve somehow missed the fancies of living a clean life. So, does this gets you worked up? Forget it, if somehow you feel hammered. You can still roll out your sandwich and steak with salad greens and quell the sugary demons without being robbed of taste, texture or flavor. These aphrodisiacs that are sometimes known as super foods, always call the shots when there is a sinful longing for a mouth watering sweet indulgence.
And all the while your โmini mart mindset’ for โcheat foodโ stays intact!
All that between a luxurious cake, a refreshing sorbet and yum dessert I guess, probably you have never thought of using health nuts, berries, beans, strawberries or red and green apples in your dessert plans for a potluck party. Quite so…normally we set aside health concerns when it comes to partying around and would readily pitch-in for scrumptious warped foods. We would never even glance over to the stuff that infallibly packs in a guaranteed delight of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and healthy fats.
Cafรฉ, grill, pit stop or beanery; each one of them is a delicious way to treat ourselves to some of the most flavorsome food. But when health is a top concern and weโre faced with making more nutritious choicesโthe fabled pick of an ambrosial platter stays off-limits.
There are though several ways to usher in the delightful luxury of a bonne bouche dessert to the table if youโre thinking of partaking next Jacobโs Join. Both trendy and easy to make, these desserts vow not to trade off anything hurtful. And you donโt always need butter, eggs or cream to invent something thatโs both sweet and rich but not sinful. Once youโve stocked your pantry with few simple ingredients, kicking-off few knockout desserts is not difficult. Simply swap coconut oil with butter, set aside ground flaxseed in place of eggs and find some space for a bottle of pure maple syrup in your kitchen shelf. Youโll be surprised to find what you donโt miss one bit!
If and when you’re seriously thinking of working over an incredibly flavorful dessert fix for your next potluck rendezvous, be sure to keep in mind that what constitutes โhealthyโ would mean differently for everybody; so much so that โglutenโ may not have as many diggers as โsugarโ and someone watching for carbs might be pro-dairy!
Of all the frozen treats and crisps and cakes and croissants and many more twisty decadent desserts, none though guarantees never-like-before confetti flavors as these classic plant-based lust-after delights do. Every bite is simply a heaven sent experience!
Chocolate Bundt Cake
This could turn out to your favorite potluck pick not only because you can slice it small enough for everybody to get a piece but also because this show-stopping dessert is an absolute party runner. Soft, moist, fudgy and topped with a decadent chocolate ganache, this rich chocolate cake is no less than an oldwine for chocolate connoisseurs. The moist crumb melts straightaway in the mouth!
Crammed with cocoa powder, butter, oil and sour cream, this cake is one helluva luxurious crowd-pleaser. The bundt pan makes it all the more inviting though in reality itโs incredibly simple to make! A total grandstander, this cake is meant for a perfect after meal celebration. Ultimate in chocolate dessert, there is no stopping you to fall in love with this cream cheese frosting laden cake. If you want more amplified levels here then try a moister, crumbly and irresistibly delicious red velvet one?
Avocado Cake with Orange-Ginger Icing
Image source: ‘Easy ginger avocado cake with lemon drizzle’ in fabfood4all.co.uk
Avocado tops my chart of super foods for a good reason. Packed with vitamins and minerals, this pear-shaped tropical butter fruit with green or blackish skin and rich yellowish nutty flavor pulp, promises loads of healthy monounsaturated fatty acids. Its smooth creamy texture with a neutral flavor, blends well with pies and pastries and makes for an easy substitute for butter.
Utterly moist and delicious this super food hipster cake is an unmatched, gluten free exotic blend of whole-meal spelt flour, olive oil, Greek yogurt, ginger and oranges and tots up as a health food in kitchen bibles and cookery books.
Gorgeously textured and yum flavors, this frosted cake is any time anywhere winner and is a top pick in Cafรฉโs and Diners amongst the list of some of the highly acclaimed hot off the fire desserts. If youโre by any chance a pรขtisserie buff with a fluky love for ginger, spices and tangy oranges, a bite of this flavor-burst would surely be a lasting experience for you.
So, now if youโve chosen this as an impressive dessert choice for your upcoming potluck soirรฉe; you may breathe easy. And donโt forget to stow away a slice of this delight for you might be tempted to celebrate solo later!
Chocolate Greek Yogurt Mousse
Image source: ‘Greek Yoghurt Chocolate Mousse’ by Raquel Neofit in stayathomemum.com.au
Mousse is commonly made with whipped egg whites and heavy cream; but not in here. If youโre looking for a healthier, easy to spin-off version in place of some traditional clone- this is where your quest ends. This rich, velvety easy to whip-up divine dessert makes use of bittersweet chocolate chips, Greek yogurt, cinnamon, ginger, turmeric, raspberries and a splash of almond extract. Packed with probiotic and calcium, Greek yogurt is the primary component in this super food dessert. Chocolate with around 70% cacao turns this sweet-course richer in antioxidants. And the added honey and spices lend it a unique flavor to rack up few more health benefits!
With a buttery flaky cinnamon spelt crust- pulled together from grain spelt, cinnamon, vanilla bean custard filling, and juicy berries โ just about every ingredient rallies around to turn this berry tart into an ultimate super food dessert! A sumptuous and delicious way to showcase a classic luxuriant last course, this dessert is all warm and inviting with trimming of blueberries on top and a lush blend of heavy cream, sugar and vanilla for garnish. The sweet insides crow of a silky smooth mix of aรงaรญ puree, sugar and egg yolk, all gorgeously coming together in butter.
Prepping here though calls for a lot of patience with the process. Simply cooking low and slow does the trick and ensures that you donโt end up with sweet, scrambled eggs! Once done, this sweet indulgence guarantees your friends an ecstatic raving experience.
Like I said earlier โฆyouโd never get short of awesome culinary ideas only if you are eager to rummage a little and ready to combine food with fettle. With unique flavors and added nutritional punch, you can always put together a triple whammy super-food dessert anytime. So, set outโฆand your upcoming potluck soiree would have something for everybody to talk about later!
Dessert is typically not the first thing that would cross your mind when youโre weighing options for a sweet course and would even hardly consider a mindful use of super foods. But if somehow you can pack nutrient rich ingredients in here without compromising on texture and flavors and come out with some incredible unsullied sweet indulgence, then why not?
My phone buzzed and a notification popped in. A big grin crossed my face. It was an invitation for lunch-an easy-going one and… I jumped for it. It wasnโt from an old time school friend or a long standing college mate or some long forgotten face from Office days. Incredibly, it was from a new pal-one that I had struck friends a year ago before I undocked and stepped down from the Office.
And all the while I was thinking my friend circle was a final thing; all wrapped up! Months after breaking free and with not much to share around, I was finding it so difficult to sit tight amid all that was happening around. I tried to live up to each moment but would often stifle. Aging to me then appeared like a heresy that I would never want any part of. In short going was getting tougher each day. It frightened to remind myself that not long before I also might be faced with short wheezing breaths, limping fatigue and wilting fortitude that would wreck me to the end. ย As with everything springtime friendship also suffered as frailty gained.
Was time really running short to live life to the fullest and thrive or was I merely imagining worse?
If my oldest friendships were home then my friendship in mid-50s with Pete is a whole nine-yard company that thrives to this day. Heโs someone who would acknowledge my weird innate weakness for Viking sequels or sci-fi thrillers of the kind of Interstellar. He understands the funny part of me; that I prefer my tea sugar free; that I wouldnโt want to stay out after sunset and that I hate darkness for I fear it would it hound me with gloom and obscurity.
Sometime in early 2012- I had just turned 53 then, things began to get coarse; career calling was crushing; work relations were plummeting; woes burned high and whenever Iโd try bring around my straggling inner-circle, I would drift-off and be easily overwhelmed. Social media updates seemed illusory. I abhorred and could never give–in to the idea of a reality where you could somehow catch-up with people flesh-out. The unending streams of lead-ins were scarier. Wasnโt this unreal intrusion close enough to another baptism of web community? It felt crass and unwitting.
Three years after I had hung gloves I needed reminding myself that I ought to double time efforts to stay connected; not just online but in person as well. I guess this was about time to run free and reveal who I truly was; or at worse hide all my twitching inhibitions and annoying worries. Search meโฆI would have loved to die for a freedom that didnโt need any approval.
Here and now was the time to connect with people in all honesty and openness.
Image source: ‘It’s not just you: Making friends after 60 is really hard’ by Kelsey Borresen in huffpost.com
Making friends as an oldster was the best thing that I ever did!
I still remember, at my 20th birthday bash I had anxiously looked around for the people whoโd make effort to come and celebrate my day. In many ways it was no different than other birthdays that had come and gone before; the ensemble that day was no bigger than six or seven people; no more. I could recall that a handful of them went an extra mile to try and make it worthwhile for me.
Curiously, by my late thirties I was barely left with anyone whom I had befriended as a grad. And it showed. As lovely a person as they were, we no longer had much left in common.
So, couple of years before I was to bid adieu to my Office and fade out into obscurity-I was 58 now-I deliberately set out to make new friends. Honestly, I would get lost whenever I began counting ones that I had left. Most of them were by now settled for good. I was worried that I might get forlorn and unhappy. I needed to meet new people who would think and talk the same way about life as I did. I think I was trying to reach out and grab some more possible alternatives for future happiness!
It didnโt matter much earlier but it does nowโฆ
I had never expected of me to make friends like this. I would fear that my experiment would end up lamely and I’ll be left with only a few fun evenings with strangers to talk about; no more. It wasnโt easyโ nerves, awkwardness, insecurities just about everything were fired up in me. Yet I was pretty sure of one thing-‘ itโs never too late to try and open up to a new pact’.
Admittedly not all of them worked out well for me either. As charming and enchanting encounters as they were, few just didnโt click and then there were those who couldnโt handle my candid chat.
No matter what, it ended up being the best year Iโve ever had.
The sweetest thing to happen though was that I learned to open up and share my insecurities with those who chose to come near and share. It paid off and now I have mates who wouldnโt wink for anything and I hate to call them sidekicks. Weโre bosom friends and for once the bedrock is much stronger. The after–rush feels wonderful and I simply canโt wait to make more new ones every time I go out.
Image source: pexels.com
You probably need more friends if you feel empty and alone
There are many ways to feel less lonely but there is no substitute for the company of real friends. When life takes a turn for worse and you get lonely and naively couldnโt keep your inner-circle intact; itโs time to fraternize and pal-around!
As we grow older it gets hard to stay in pace with our surroundings. Time and people move ahead in their usual celerity. With creaking bones, sagging skin and advancing frailty it’s harder to go out, catch up with old friends or make new ones. Add to that the uncertainty of how and your inclination to make friends; every attempt would appear unnavigable.
Yet, I took to staying alive; sat tight in pervert times and held on to my horses. And in turn I got hold of some new good friends in the end. Surprisingly I knocked up some stronger ties overtime than Iโd imagined I ever could.
Hereโs how;
Boomer or Gen-X; you can draw people closer
It is natural to tend to be closer to people who are at similar life stage. When youโre busy raising family youโve always have had a lot to talk about with others. But when itโs time to hang gloves, suddenly you find youโre more interested in spending time with those who are considering their own off-ramps. Life actually begins to change when youโre off tethers and thereโs not much left to share around.
It was not long, before it occurred to me that reaching out to a person of very different age would make it less likely that Iโll be friends anytime sooner.
But what the heck; Do I need to stop at 60? ย I thought otherwise and so I reached out and invited an easily-forgettable face of an ex-fellow worker over a cuppa Joe. I also accepted when I was invited out in return. To make it sound conclusive, we later decided to turn it around again by inviting each other out to lunch or coffee.
If it ain’t broke, I was beginning to have much fun. Perhaps this was close to living life as richly as possible. Whateverโฆ itโs not long before I was quickly finding my schedule filled with good people hanging around me.
Filling-in and hanging around helps
Opening up to a complete stranger was awkward and sometimes felt intrusive, but hobnobbing with everyday ordinary questions did help break the ice in an unfamiliar way. โWhatโs that coffee drink youโre ordering? Howโs that book youโre reading?โ Of course it was a long haul before I could hear the bells ringing. It was comforting to share and listen anyway. Itโs only now I could understand why it took me close to 3 days of hanging around, going Dutch and some deep conversation before I could strike a friendship.
Bonus…! Beyond a few virtual happy hours, I simply adored the split and enjoyed a meaningful connection.
I observe, recognize and appreciate as we stay hooked to pursuits together to this day.
Count on this for your first crinkly smile
Bet your bottom dollar if you know how to build upon the trust on others. I guess itโs reciprocal and usually begins with sharing. Revealing to others and watching them to open up in turn was how I would take to building trust with an acquaintance. It’s quite a refreshing flattery but I was never upbeat about stepping forward and letting things happen in the first place. I knew that the deeper is my level of trust the more likely Iโll strike a lasting friendship. Nothing will go south if I donโt screw anything right down the road; and I must try fitting in.
Soon I stopped living my fears and could finally shrug off that riling unease. I took to sharing and opened up.. Good times had finally rolled-in. It was time to live life plus-size with some new mates around.
Image source: pexels.com
I guess I never outgrew the person I was when I first made friends. Years later, no matter how changed Iโm today, my friends still think of me as a more broken version of the person they had known. If I am sitting in the patio sipping my morning mud, they arenโt wondering what has happened to the rollicking, impudent, Cafe hopping fellow of decades ago.
I am always on the hunt for lifestyle choices that can decelerate aging for me; or at least make me appear seemingly ageless. If Christie Brinkley โthe American model, actress, and entrepreneur could pass for 49 at 69 then why couldnโt I? Brinkley born on 2nd Feb.1954 and mother of three had caught worldwide attention and fame when she appeared in โSports Illustrated Swimsuitโ on an unprecedented three consecutive covers in 1979, 1980, and 1981.
Some of this awe is owed to genetics of course; you just donโt get to be a pin-up gal without being generously endowed in that area. But when I looked closer at her way of life, Iโm like; โOk, this might be for me.โ Iโm no Bruce Springsteen who stays cut at 70 but what the heck! Whatโs there to stop me to stay fit as a fiddle when over the hill?
At 64, I think Iโve learned this out the hard way.
For all of us, the clock ticks and with each tick comes the change. For few who manage to stay shy of major health problems, the change is slow and gradual but they do add up; that is at some stage in life you do give up and let Father Time take its toll.
Hard to swallow but the decline for each one of us sets in as early as in our 30s. The max attainable heart rate mellows by one beat per minute per year and heartโs peak capacity begins its downward slide by 5-10 percent per decade; that is if you have managed to stay unspoiled and undiminished of illnesses by now. Even so, a healthy heart that can pump 2.5 quarts a minute at 25 cannot get above 1.5 quarts as you reach 65 and drifts down further to only a quart if you could still kick-well at 80. In everyday life this means slow and imperceptible fatigue that drains you out even with modest activity. Not conspicuous or noticeable in early years but it endures and progresses as you age.
Iโm on a bit of a low right now coming off some enormous obligations that have unwittingly compelled me to always keep my worries of nine-to-fiveslogover health. Endless travels, wing meals and little time for everything else has taken its toll and has left me feeling and looking as crappy as I have since before I let myself be harried by that insane Office rush.
To this day I think Iโve had enough of my busy repetitive life. It feels bizarre nowadays and it has left an indelible telling effect on how things would work out for me henceforth. Itโs not so much that I care how it makes me look. Skinny guy genetics have somewhat kept things under control. Itโs what outer slump was signaling about what was going inside that made me pitch for a way to turn around. It made me worry about what would eventually happen were I to look around and say โAh screw it, Iโm too busy to eat right and work out.โ
So, I borrowed burrowed and browsed neck deep to get a little artsy and to think more clearly how to have a better quality of life. I hitched my pants up to brush, floss and rinse and outsmart Father Time. I didnโt chose to do less for I knew โresting meant rustingโ.
Consequently I went about removing the rust of aging. And in the process I think I have taken back some of my time!
Feature credit: pexels.com.
The Brinkley way is fascinating!
Itโs easy to blame low mood or fatigue on aging, but sometimes aging is not that woeful. Feeling constantly exhausted or depressed is not normal at any age in any case.
And itโs not justdiet as well.
In reality living a meaningful life is not as hard as it sounds; you just need to practice few of the health choices that kept Brinkley fit and allowed her to live a very active outdoorsy life. Of course, as with Springsteen you need to adjust your activity to compensate for your age. If Brinkleyโs boss had to quit running for the stress was tearing him apart, so should you, if it hurts! That sounds somewhat limiting but it would not stop you from staying outside and be active. SeeโฆBrinkley spends a lot of time on her bike tooling around the island where she lives per se!
Pushing yourself a bit when you feel the need to get more done, walking daily, gardening more often, taking your pet dog out for a quick stroll regularly and keep yourself moving through the day; just about everything bodes well to help you stay focused, appreciate small things, and connect with yourself and others.
I sometimes allow myself to cheat a wee bit when my body tries to tell to be otherwise but I never forget, โThere is something to this for sure!โ; andthat only I can make my life more sprightly and meaningful.
Today, I live it out by myself and witness how life has changed for better.
Getting older is โthe next normalโ
No one really tells you the hardest part of getting older; that growing old is inevitable and that it bears a fearsome reputation. Plainly, nobody can stop the clock. Most you can do is to slow its tick and endure life with grace and vigor. Like I said, everybody desires to live long but no one wants to be old.
Does any of this makes you curious about what sets older people apart from the rest when it comes to them living a happy purposeful life? What is there in it for you other than an upbeat outlook about getting older?
Aging involves changes in every element of life- from physical and social to mental and emotional and sometimes more. For boon or bane itโs your choice if you would maximize the good parts of you getting older without betraying health and happiness and help reverse the age related physical loss.
So, donโt snooze your life away.
Image source: depositphotos.com
Knowing what changes with age is probably our first step towards finding ways to stay active and help us take consistent control of our choices rather than be at the mercy of what is simply convenient.
Right from waking up, freshening up, shaping up, eating and studying up; just about everything you do, decides for you how youโve chosen to power your day. Even somewhat inconsequential everyday actions like changing clothes, brushing teeth, reviewing to-do-list, writing a few notes in diary, reading or meditating or going to sleep, fates how youโve picked-up things to shape your life, you’re yet to live.
It didn’t go exactly as planned every day for me sometimes. But when unexpected interrupted, I chose what portion to cut that day. It worked as kinda default plan for me to endeavor and surprisingly, it endured. It helped me move quicker each morning than I otherwise would have. I would no longer simply wake up befuddled and struggle trying to think of what to do next to be ready.
Assay, and try setting a few personal routines to filter out your options. In time, youโll be able to unscramble insights to uphold you and turn time your servant from a stingy demanding taskmaster. If youโre to sincerely believe that power lies in each of us to make good things happen-if we choose to do so, then itโs not long before you’ll get to take a slice of your time back.
Image source: depositphotos.com
True, time is plentiful that vanishes in the end. But itโs certainly not happening today or tomorrow or day after, once you’ve decided to get busy gathering yourself. For all I know, only youโre the best steward of your time and choices.
Jedi or not, trust me you can walk away from Father Time if you settle down not to squander your hours doing nothing to change it.
Looking back if you happen to see incomplete dreams and a scattered life and want to level up and become unstoppable in 2023, you really have to set yourself up and get clear on what youโve done so far and what youโre really going for. Iโm guessโฆ perhaps you need to rewrite your normal space! The BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) that you had so solemnly vowed to on New Yearโs Eve, needs to be reset to keep away the same garbage that has so far spoiled all that you have coveted.
Starting something new is simple and sometimes easier than you presume but enduring it is a whole other ball game. There is no set timeline for embracing change. Itโs solely your call to begin and accept that it may take some effort and commitment. Whateverโฆ itโs never late to slug your failings at any point of time!
If ongoing uncertainties make you cautious enough not to plan ahead, you may very well understand that your struggle is just the right kinda motivation to realize your dreams. Refocusing, changing and making a new start on something left half way- no matter how small, is a big deal! Like many, you may have started out great in January but somehow lost the urge partway and now have trouble building up the same excitement again.
Like I sayโฆitโs not entirely impossible to happen and definitely not to a single person. Youโre never alone. With the right kind of stick-to-it attitude it can be done. Still if you slip-up, donโt let go. Acquit yourself and pick up from where you had stumbled. Youโll walk the whole nine yards unbeaten.
Seriously how would you know what’s worth pursuing? Honestly I didnโt but in heart I knew thereโs always a way to help. Little did I realize then that a big uptick was slated to happen to my half-baked wishes!
This is how it went for me;
Starry-eyed, I fell for the means and not the end.
Six months down the line, I was getting sick of setting goals at the beginning of the years and then not strangely not meeting them! Like everybody else I too would prep my holy grail at the onset of a new year and get aimed to get there. I knew it was going be infinitely hard to follow through, should I falter mid way. But excitement of trying hand on unknown is always pushy. Besides I wasnโt feeling bullied!
Just like anybody else my daily grind had become an annoying drudgery. I suspected I had become a slave to it. For once all I wanted was to know if I can turn around my slog into something specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. And the last thing I wanted to do was to work backwards. Yet it happened. Half year down I had done little and pulled-off little.
So I went granular and broke one year plan into three and one month plans. I had already lost much time. By planning to check-in with myself throughout the remaining half, I was making sure not to derail again. This way I could make adjustments instead of waiting till next January. It made my nightmare appear accessible. I was beginning to believe in whatโs possible and what I could do. For once, my hazelnut had turned on its bough!
I quit dreaming outside my normal space
It didnโt take me long to take a hard look at what was really driving me especially when reality was messy and whole lot of half-done wishes were staring at me squarely. I remember, I was at half way mark! I somehow felt compensating for the unmet wishes? Was I dreaming badly when I fancied myself being on stage in front of scores of people cheering me for following my choices to the end? For not fantasizing weirdly I was working outside my ordinary everyday space. I hadnโt tried firsthand podcasting a new series or writing a song that would sound raucous over beat box!! Vaguely, everything sucked but it was telling!
So what was that that I needed to keep pushing me?
I guess following dreams isnโt always the best answer. Of course, we are beaten all over our heads that we should follow and pursue them passionately and turn reality into something that will make us happy. Be it a new career, you hoping to be the best-dressed person at a party, or dating a woman halfway around the planet; my guess is that we owe it to ourselves to go out and get it. Achieve that and they will finally make you happy once and for all.
Image source: ‘Why you keep having recurring dreams and what it means’ by Kristen Rogers in kake.com
Then there is another side to this. When you follow your dreams and they somehow donโt work out for you, your disappointment turns into anger- not necessarily at somebody but at reality. In no time everything becomes โimmature and unappreciative.โ Hard to admit but sometimes your dreams too become those things. But just as you have always been, donโt be the last one to find out that your desires have outwitted you. As is, its one heck of a job to deliver half baked desires once youโve hit the half way mark. It could be a mile high to climb the top but it need not be next January for you to check out. Simply pick up the lost threads and the end will be far more interesting than youโd have thought.
It took me a long time to discover that I stumbled because didnโt want to climb. I just wanted to imagine the top. Iโve since then discovered that rock star fantasy has less to do with actual rocking. It implies a period of mental indulgence- not a driving need.
Image source: ’11 habits of ridiculously likeable people’ by Travis bradberry in theladders.com
This is why you need to be open in mindset before you hitch your pants for the rough ride ahead; what of that heck if June mocks you? Sometimes itโs better to deal with your shit right away and not wait for that extra moment for things to fall in place.
Just donโt stretch yourself much lest you may waste all away. Someday it’ll be sunshine again!
Itโs 7.00 am. The stage is all set for a long grueling day ahead. I had hit the snooze button and now Iโm running late for everything. I havenโt had my cup of morning brew. Unsure, I plan for it later in the day and dash out of the front door to Office.
Damn! itโs 8.30 already.I wish to perish; I canโt reset my day!
My annoyance heaps as I hit brakes and the car careens to a halt at a green light unexpectedly turning red. Half awake and peppery I have missed my cup of morning mud and now that dump feeling is killing me. Grumpy and low, I couldnโt think straight for now except fancy a blast-of-a-cup of steaming hot aromatic frothy pick-me-up caffeine. Seconds blink at intersection stop light and my misery runs deep. Am I panicking? Is the worst yet to come? I could absolutely hear my heart pinging! Nothing much to do but sit it out, I take a deep breath and glower hatefully at everything around me.
And then something catches my eye. Chaayos on my left and Starbucks on my right; both seemed to be madly beckoning my either shoulder and none looked ready to lay back even for a sec. Already thinking of the drub ahead, for a moment I could see the ghosts of the two brewing giants battling it out right there for a witless win !
The stupor fades quickly. The car behind me has honked hard for no reason.
The indignation comes back and this time it’s ruthless. Iโm pissed and couldnโt decide what and how my day is going to be? Right now I have no ears for the angel and the devil. Thereโs no way I can park my car anywhere near. Besides whoโs got the time to think about which one is going to make my day? I definitely need something thatโs more than a brew but again will have to wait for the moment. Worried like hell, I could feel the wrathful gaze of my manager inching up my neck already . Heโs nuts! He desperately wants to strip me in public for anything. Dumbed down? Yeah! โฆthatโs exactly the chance heโs waiting to pounce upon that Iโm wonโt let him have. I wonโt be jammed or squeezed or squashed!
I push the gas pedal hard …lights are green again.
Thereโs so little to contemplate. I mean itโs a normal thing happening in everyday life of most of us. Sometimes you nail it; at others the twist ruins the day. Itโs not much of a feat Iโd say โฆto talk so much about your choice of brew but I sincerely doubt if you could decide on what would really get you that aesthetic pleasure you so intensely crave for when you need it most.
Tea or Coffee; letโs see how accurate is your choice?
Image source: istockphoto.com
Whoโs the Gucci here!
I guess there are only few things more comforting in this world than a cup of tea. Steaming hot, softly aromatic, delicately sweetened and deliciously frothed, I simply love itโฆmore in the morning. Home made it tastes best. It props me up fast and breathes new life in my day. Newly steeped, it tastes utterly divine to me. Incidentally, Iโve read somewhere; 92-96ยฐC is the best water temperature for it to brew perfectly. With so much of flavor and enthralling aroma hitting your senses, life suddenly tends to appear bigger and better. So I wait a moment for the water to boil. Iโm certain of the upshot and not worried about what pours out in my cup!
With so many flavors and textures to choose from it doesnโt matter which tea leaves you put in your pot; the storm in the cup will never fail to happen. Small wonder, I canโt go wrong with something that simply is never out of style.
Tea isnโt just a beverage. Itโs the stuff that kicks off cheers anywhere anytime. Itโs the habit to struggle out of morning slumber; itโs the apology to get out of the Office for some free air; itโs the aft-dinner fixation to sip chamomile or jasmine tea; itโs the warm succor to help unwind after a long day.
Tea is a great mix of camaraderie, calm and ceremony in equal measure.
Today it has over 3000 varieties savored worldwide. First and foremost taken as a medicine, today bazillions of cups invigorate countless people everyday. But itโs more of the health benefits that bucks-up its approval. Polyphenols in almost every tea variety increases our metabolism, helps in weight loss, prevents age related cellular damage, lowers cholesterols and reduces heart risk. Antioxidants like catechins, theaflavins and thearubigins in black tea promote good heart health. Rooibos tea has strong antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties and helps in stopping allergies like rhinitis and asthma from triggering, reduces inflammation and joint pains, repair collagen and connective tissue joints and control or prevent diabetes!
Did you know that people who consumed four cups of black tea daily had 32% lower risk of heart diseases than those who drank no tea! that a cup of jasmine tea contains 15-60 mg of caffeine that stimulates the nervous system by inhibiting adenosine โa neurotransmitter to slow down the central nervous system; that green tea slackens the growth of cancer cells and lower the risk of Alzheimer and Parkinsonโs!
Now that you have learned about your surety against ill health so well, doesnโt your cup taste sweeter? Or is it your weakness for a fluffy, silky smooth and warm โฆhell no! Iโm not talking about the bed, but the delicious, frothed, silky smooth cup of goodness that makes you swoon with craving? Bustling with bitterness alkaloid caffeine, coffee is damn well good in energizing and packs enough of jolt of excitement to ride you through the day.
Image source: pexels.com
Of birds and bees and the morning brew
Since when what was raised as a coffee filter bag, a good hand filtered coffee has never run backwards- not for love nor money! Even brewed at somewhat crowded not so clean gas stations that eternally smell of diesel and desperation and not for a moment stop gloating over day old poor donuts that peer miserably out of glass shelves; the unmistakable aroma and flavor never seems to go wrong. No matter what and how it is made, the result is always delicious.
Speaking of which; did you know that coffee beans grow bigger and better when the birds and the bees join forces to pollinate coffee plants? Incredibly this trade-off with nature is what ensures you a mug of strong flavored, absolutely delicious creamy happiness each time you reach out for one.
Coffee is not important merely because it perks up your senses fast. It is a brew thatโs about sharing and lovinโ. Its soft, sweet toned bitterness heightens the enjoyment of the moment and instantly warms you up. The smell and flavor of a perfect mug is ever more exciting when aroma from a freshly made pot wafts through and arouses your senses strongly. With raw beans roasted to perfection and a sheer blend of flavors and spices doubling up, wouldnโt this be your drink of the memories! Freakโn diverse in flavors and textures, itโs hard to gather if you want your mug to keep you on your toes or let it be an easy pleasurable brew of comfort.
Whateverโฆ itโs never good to knock something or someone out of the bill. Give me the simple, honest charm of Chaayos or Bubbaโs Bubble Tea or Boldly Brewed and I wouldnโt want to sip my morning stimulant in a place that would make me feel mogul but digs deep in my pocket. Discounts, rewards, free coffees, endless extras, honestly Starbucks simply wouldnโt find its way into my cup. My quaint tea joint at least keeps it real simple; wouldnโt know your name and couldnโt care less!
Then there is so much of fresh food! What better place to fill yourself up? Bubbaโs & BBsof course! Search me! I wouldnโt want to miss some fiery explosive food even at 7 in the morning?
Image source: pexels.com
So next time youโre faced with the age old choice between Tea and Coffee, just remember; an artsy ceramic mug or a patchy Styrofoam cup-itโs all and only about getting the right kickwhen you need it most!
I chose and reset my favorite to a place that doesnโt want me to learn Italian to get caffeinated.
If you love something, you need to let go of yourself head-first into it and then only youโd feel what love really is!
Like most people, I too have a bucket list of inspired foodie things that make my life happier. Pie crusts, breads, foam cakes, real and rough puff pastry, custards, meringues, pรขte ร choux to name a few; I am not madly in love with all of them, but if I can find them turned out the way they are meant to, wellโฆthat makes my day! I tend to enjoy them and the satisfaction that I get is intense and enough for me. Sometime I wish I should have had a chance at some good patisserie learning. For nowโฆthe little wooden table at the charming little tuck-away Cafรฉ in my residential neighborhood, is my sole bake house, my school and my galley for bench tests. Some of my first hand aha-moments happened there!
Of course, Iโm in no race at judging food. I am no food critic except that I count on differentiating good food from bad. In the process, sometimes I stumble; at times itโs my bad when I conclude poorly over taste and smell. At others I simply throw my hands up in despair for having indulged and yet remarking appallingly. But I bounce back sooner or later. I have succeeded often and now know how to make my day. I guess this is my journey and I have myself only to count upon. These little triumphs are my big highs and fair enough to make me a little better than yesterday. If you ask me Iโd say most things are easy once you get the hang of them. Yet few little things are always left behind that you could try your hands anytime.
Image source: ‘New restaurant coming to West Palm Beach: An all-day cafรฉ with Australian inspirations’ by Liz Balmaseda in palmbeachpost.com
Bringing about a difference to the day without fuss, is one decent success that none of us chronicles! And what better way to attempt it than with a simple but skilled plate of no fuss-all flavors food to turn around. Swipe right: this might be love I was talking about!
Baked, brewed and beautiful, there are certain foods that go a step further in enhancing your enjoyment leaving you marveling at the intense sweetness of the moment! From Mango Chili macaroon and Pesto Chili Cheese to Croissants with a crunch, all over a sip of warm cappuccino freshly made from premium coffee beans-every bit of them are cranked up to make your bite an ambrosial spree of sweet and savory. Endeavorโฆ and it sure would quite hit the spot for you.
Wine and cheese or donuts or cookies, paired with coffee is so familiar in bistros nowadays that these comely combos are lovingly accepted everywhere. You are good to go anytime except that youโd still miss the upper crust if you donโt get to savor the exquisiteness!
Freshly baked buttery and flaky, croissants are the ultimate coffee companion. A buttery one filled with vanilla or chocolate pastry cream or apricot jams and paired with a foamy warm cappuccino never fails to put the smile on any face. And what better way to pair your sides or goodies than with an all-stirring, delicately aromatic and heartwarming cup of coffee!
Image source:’Tatte Bakery & Cafe’ by Amy Fukuizumi in thefoodlens.com
Come to think of itโฆcoffee never ceases to amaze me. It tastes a little like blackberry but it so good; itโs my happiness. This caramelly, chocolaty dark brew with bitter earthy notes of roasted almond is what makes my day start right. Blessed and obsessed I love my cup of morning mud to be strong, fragrant and deeply rich in taste. It helps me feel motivated. It sponsors good mood and keeps my sunny side up all day long. I am no Coffee Sommelier but โฆsometimes I wish my Mondays to be a wee bit short! Somehow it helps wither my blues.
Brewing a coffee doesnโt sound like a great kitchen fix or baking inspiration but this is one fiddle that goes particularly so well with bite-size croissant at tea time that I would rather call it coffee time instead. The one bad thing though about it is that youโll probably want more of mini croissants after you wash down your first bite with that indulgent frothy, silky smooth cup of thrill. So, watch out for the inches that would rush to your front porch.
Gut and belly aside, I simply love indulging it. My creaky wooden table at the Cafรฉ appears delightfully inviting when the aroma from the pot of freshly brewed coffee brings together all the comforting flavors and aromatic notes of cappuccino to it. Next what arrives would make anybody go weak at knees. My beaut would get ever more tantalizing! An indulgent coffee pastry cream topped with whipped cream would unmistakably fetch sensuous notes of cappuccino together and make my heart skip for a beat.
Image source: “Cappuccino croissant stock photos’ in depositphotos.com
So much so for meโฆbut whichever version you get at your local bistro, once you take a bite of mini-all-butter-flaky croissants dipped well into the silky cream, the exotic flavors will have you rooted to this all time seriously good combo!
To many this probably wouldnโt sound original but the thing is that when your coffee is paired properly, youโre able to taste enhanced flavors of both the coffee and the food. Seriously, this duo is your best bet for a delightful treat if youโre in a hurry and crave for something sweetโฆand savory to wash down with a cup of hot invigorating and refreshing cappuccino. The bitterness of the coffee unmistakably complements the sweetness of buttery flaky croissant when you actually dunk it into your coffee. This long time unique flavor combination stands tall amongst any-time-swell-standouts and never disappoints.
So, why not do what I believe we all are freakโn good at? Dive-in your bagel or tart or phyllo into a cup of steaming hot smooth Joe and experience the joy of intense flavors swoon your palate and rush down your senses like never before. I’m sure as hell…!!
I deeply admire Warren Buffet. He knows how to make smart decisions and like he said lessons learned just about anything firsthand are often the most painful but the best ones. One way to get to the point he made I guess, is to say โnoโ to everything you come across. Or to move, take decisions and make way for a smart living. Both ways itโs your call and the difference that you experience makes your life easy and worth living!
Everybody wants what feels good and like what comes easy โstrings free! If I were to ask you, โWhat do you want most out of your life?โ and youโd most likely say something like, “I want to be happy, have a great family, a job I like, a car Iโd love to own, a house of my dreams and a job I likeโ.
But the truth is that life doesnโt work that way always and even far less interesting is the fact that very few choose their struggles wisely to succeed and be happy. Guess, we all have circumstances that are not ideal most of the times.
There have been a few of mine as well. I had never imagined that one day Iโd find myself living through my own personal hell. Things at times were happening real bad and I was struggling life curveballs. What hurt most was not to be able to do things that I knew I was able to do or want to be able to do, but canโt.
I was restless and looking for ways to live well in spite of bad breaks; to expand my life, to find a purpose and to live the joy everybody is so crazy about. It came down to the choices I needed to make to help me see beyond the fretful circumstances that so easily limit who I was and all that I could be.
To move forward in the best way I can, I decided to let go all that that I was holding onto that in turn was holding me back. What joy I could possibly be missing out on while bleeding for things that are not ever going to happen? Shouldnโt I be enjoying my today? What if somehow I accepted everything the way it was and learned to make the best of it?
Living in the moment is one of the most difficult things to master. Yet I decided to take one positive step each day hoping to walk into the sunshine one day- happy and contented. So, loving life for what itโs worth then – warts and all, I took my shot and ran hell with it.
These three smart moves helped me uncover what all I had to let go that I had always fought so hard to keep, to be happy and alive.
Itโs your turn now!
Image source: ‘Mindfulness- 10 tips on how to live a more mindful life’ in tabularasaretreat.com
Live a life you donโt need to escape
I have always hated being stuck inside. Some days I wouldnโt want to go to Office. At others Iโd feel exhausted, unhappy and simply disgusted for doing the same thing again and again. It doesn’t seem like me, but the job paid well and people known to me were a constant reminder to just how great it was. Somehow, I was committed to doing things that I disliked most or didnโt matter to me at all. I was practically selling out on my values and purpose. I had a flush bank account but was unhappy. It felt like I had two heads; one that saw my life as fulfilling and the other always jumpy, looking for greener grass lost in the race for wanting more!
It was intriguing; was I missing on something?
‘There must be more to life than that‘; the thought would often leave me white-knuckled and restless. I could no longer stave off the urge to take the plunge.
I knew very well that taking a step into the unknown is scary but then thatโs how a journey of thousand miles begins! The ugly fear of walking the dark was frightening. This is when Einsteinโs brilliance bailed me out; “Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.โ
To cut things short,I pulled up myself and took to helping and inspiring people although it was not butterflies and rainbows all the times. I took to traveling a lot and would love to meet like minded people. Even though I earn fewer today- I had hung my boots four years ago, I still get up early though thereโs hardly anything important to do. Sometimes I donโt know when and what next Iโd do. But I have learned to be part of my life. Hassles are inconvenient interruptions of course, yet for the first time I have found a reason and purpose to what I do. Iโve learned to love what Iโve and dream of what I would leave behind tomorrow.
Today, I live a wholesome life and Iโd never ever think of escaping it.
Donโt let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life
Letโs face this. Bad days exist and are full of frustrations. An argument over breakfast, a missed Office bus or even a spilled coffee can make you wish if you could crawl back into the bed and let everything fall into place before you would kick start the day! If this is you then your day has started on the wrong foot and you do not know how to stop little annoyances from dragging you down. You fret and wonder if there’s a way to turn a bad day into a good one!
But trying to change them would only take your energy away. Things gone awry are upsetting but I guess, itโs not always about changing your days. Itโs about selling yourself few inspirations!
โI’m not going to change anything. This day is all about good times and sadness, excitement and boredom and Iโll not pretend that mood swings are not shaking me up or something is overwhelmingly turning my day upside down. Iโll not let myself be buried under bad things happening today.โ
Without getting miserable about everything imperfect, I gave up thinking about โcrawling back into the bed and to be a little more in there.โIt helped me to stay focused and get unstuck. I picked-up amidst the scattered what I thought mattered most. I marveled about everything else I was grateful forโฆjob, kid and the clothes on my back!
I gave up on anything fierce and stifling.
Nowadays I donโt hunker down for the rest of the day if something upsets me. I would take a walk down the street, listen to music or a podcast or catch up on news or simply drive around. A change in surroundings hints that the current mood doesnโt need to be carried any longer.
Somehow, I had learned to take note of what goes wrong-and then right. I am no longer sad if Iโm having a bad day because something stalled or expectations failed me. I let the things happen as they do and I do what I do.
Of course, itโs hard to find much to smile about when you fail, but how else would you find your laughter if you let a bad day overawe you?
Stop worrying! You can never be perfect
It sounds like a clichรฉ but definitely makes sense when we struggle to make everything done and yet canโt end up finishing perfectly. Perfection is a myth that creates more pain than joy, more confusion than calm and more resentment than creativity. Of course, doing things that seem hopeless doesnโt mean you wonโt fail. In all seriousness, that really is the inevitability of doing things. But by staying centered rather than trying to be perfect makes the likelihood of success more real. Who wouldnโt want to build an imperfect billion dollar empire than a perfect bankrupt one!
I think we all know the answer to this; perfection merely distracts from the present and is probably a waste of time. It has at times made me place value on wrong things and not listen to myself fearing that Iโd somehow fail!
You wouldn’t want any of that …would you?
So stop thinking about whom or what you can be and move on. In the beginning it may feel like those things will never get better but each morning will usher in new ray of hope and another chance to improve.
Just stay put until you win!
Image source: ‘Living in the present isnโt always easy’ by Nicole Pajer in parade.com on Dec.03, 2022.
Even the hardest days have lessons to help you to be a better person. If youโre having a bad day, like me simply pick what you think you need most. Turn a blind eye to whatever terrible is happening around you. Stressing out has never made anyone feel better. Live in the moment and youโll find small shifts appearing in your life that will help you ride over similar situations tomorrow.
If youโre thinking of ham and hush puppies, youโre way off the track! Your classic plate of down-home food may have been made over with heart in mind but has it ever occurred to you that from brunch to dessert, from your favorite chicken and waffles to best tasting sweet potato pie, all rank fairly high in fat and salt, low in fruits, vegetables and whole grains- and may not be your best option for a hearty, filling and guilt free way to eat!
Even if nothing is more satisfying for you than a plate of home spun food!
Mouthwatering and easy-to-make home spun soul foods surely have the zing to fill and warm your soul but also have some major influences over your health and wellness… and a piece of history as well!
A bizarre fusion of cuisines from across the globe had begun to take shape as early as 1960, more because people had begun to resent the food of late 50โs and thought of it only as fill belly-sustain energy stapleโฆno more. Casting aside these borderline bland and undesirable foods; soul foods began to delight the gourmet senses more as a pursuit of savoriness and creativity than an attempt at healthy lifestyle or wellness. This culinary heritage of foods and traditions however couldnโt become common until the early 1960s. Dreamed up by the civil rights activist Amiri Baraka as early as 1962, soul foods found their first space on a foodieโs platter only when Sylvia Woods โthe queen of soul foodโ opened her first Harlem restaurant the same year. Delightfully savory and scrumptious, soul foods then began to freely storm the kitchens and cookbooks and would continue to stay popular all through the 70โs.
Today fresh and healthful revisions have been reworked over and over again into some very intense, well prep guilt free eats, all meant to warm your heart without adding a hairbreadth to your belly or annoying your health sensibilities!
Donโt miss! Eight surprising reasons for not losing out
Soul food is essentially a basic down-home cooking of staples like beans, greens, cornmeal, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, slow cooked collard greens and rice etc. Sweet cold drinks are always a favorite side. Today a more subtle version of this cuisine no longer favors capsicum pepper heat, a heavier hand with salt and pepper or a greater use of offal protein! Healthy soul food classics like Okra-Tomato stew, creamy potato salad, roasted chicken, sautรฉed kale -sweet potato, maple glazed salmon, banana pudding are regaling the diners now. From lazy weekend dinners to crazy everyday rush hour eats, baked or fried chicken, greens, corn bread slathered with macaroni and cheese grain-based sides such as black-eyed peas, rice and stewed cabbageโฆwell, you have so much on call to pick! But I guessโฆ choices have traded winds to a healthier genre and now have become a great way to tap into the power of Soul Foods.
Here are a few luscious mouthwatering healthier delights all built upon family favorites that might tempt you enough to give them a try;
Smoky kale sautรฉ
Image source: ‘Smoky Braised Kale With Tomato’ by Sam Sifton in cooking.nytimes.com
A quick vegan version of traditional soul food that uses kale instead of collards, this wholesome food makes for a great side of your main protein source- roasted chicken or grilled tofu. Steamed and then shocked with cold water, kale retains its lustrous inviting green color. Add a pinch of smoked paprika and you wouldnโt miss the smoky taste of the your usual ham hock!
Maple glazed salmon
Image source: ‘Orange Maple Glazed Salmon’ by Liz Rueven in myjewishlearning.com on Jan. 05, 2015.
Low in fat and high in protein, this incredibly simple and healthy food is a perfect choice for one of those nights when you donโt have much time to get dinner on the table. Deliciously sweet and savory, the salmon combines wonderfully with fresh garlic, ground ginger and a touch of soy sauce as marinade. Giving a perfect balance to an easy flavorful dish, the sweet maple syrup adds a unique complexity that cannot be replicated. Also a good source of omega-3 fatty acids, this lean protein comes packed with healthy fats that have anti-inflammatory effects and help improve heart health.
Chicken meatloaf
Made with lean meat, this easy to prep soul food is fantastically cheesy and healthy! Low in carbs this guilt free food is definitely not boring, bland or traditional. Moist and loaded with tons of flavors, it will change the way you feel about meatloaf! Honestly experiencing the burst of flavors in each bite from the melted parmesan cheese, deliciously tender onions and all the seasonings in between is simply divine!
BBQ chicken sandwich with broccoli slaw
Low in calories and fat and having a high nutritional value, BBQ chicken is a great source of protein. Enough of this nutrient helps to maintain muscle mass and support a healthy metabolism. No wonder why chicken follows us from infancy to adulthood!
Tangy barbecue sauce, shredded chicken, and toasty bun piled high and all crunchy with veggie seasoning, these sandwiches carry a nice tang and unforgettable flavors. Pair this good source of niacin, vitamin B6 and phosphorus with your favorite pickle slaw and you might spin-off a family dinner win!
Curried green beans
Image source:’Fine beans and potato curry; by Alfred Prasad in greatbritishchefs.com
Simple, delicious and filling, this green bean curry served on its own or over steamed rice or coconut roti or warm naan bread, tastes divine and goes very well as a vegetarian entrรฉe or alone as a side dish. Using green beans, peas, carrots and potatoes and sautรฉed with a precooked curry paste, this faintly spiced, roasted cashew garnished dish is one happy healthy food that you just cannot have enough of to satisfy your soul.
Corn bread
Image source: ‘Triple Cornbread Loaf’ by Charlotte Rutledge in kindarrthurbaking.com
Easy, crispy, tender and moist with added flavor of buttermilk and brown sugar, this dough-based corn bread boasts of tight crumb grains, golden crumb color and a unique aroma and sweetness that remind me of the texture and flavors of a muffin. Free of preservatives and synthetic stabilizers this flexible and delightful food comes packed with 20 amino acids; nine of them-histidine, isoleucine, leucine, lysine, methionine, phenylalanine, threonine, tryptophan, and valine being the most essential ones, those which the body cannot synthesize and must be obtained from food. Essentially looked upon as โquick breadโ it can be made into pancakes, casseroles and much more!
Vegan Cheese Grits
Image source:’Vegan cheesy grits breakfast bowl with crispy chickpeas” by Liz in zardyplants.com
Vegan cheese grits with creamy beans and collards make for a perfect comforting hardy meal to fill you up. Grits are super versatile, vegan and there are so many unique ways you can have them. Eat them on their own, make polenta cakes and chips and casseroles or into mini pancakes, faintly resembling tacos! You could try serving with BBQ tofu and greens for an amazing food experience. Apart from adding protein and healthy vegan goodness to your food, what is even greater about this eat is that you can spice it up by adding pico, avocado and fresh cabbage slaw for a Mexican twist. What with succulent sautรฉed greens enriched with garlic and smoky flavors, lying atop a bed of thick, creamy gritsโฆwell the possibilities are endless, so get creative!
Banana pudding
Image source: ‘The Best Banana Pudding’ by Kenneth Strother in allrecipes.com
If you’re looking for a dessert that tastes delicious and delivers brain-nourishing vitamins, this one is just the right choice for you.
With tantalizing layers of pudding, ripe bananas, whipped cream, wafer cookies and of course-a dollop of whipped cream that never hurts much, this food makes for a classic dessert that you can never get enough of. Making for a perfect dessert it makes even the most die-hard fitness freaks going back for more. With easy to get ingredients, you can whip up nutritionally a โlot-to-offerโ treat that literally helps your nerves function properly, regulate water levels in your body and offset the effects of sodium.
In case you didnโt know bananas are bursting with B vitamins and electrolytes like potassium and a single serve of this pudding carries about 122 mg of potassium!
The one great thing about these healthier options that always amuses me is that nobody ever walks away from their plate unsatisfied. From braised collard greens to stewed black-eyed peas and other protein sources all generally involve healthier cooking techniques like braising, steaming, grilling, and boiling and are considered healthful. So the next time you host Sunday dinner, try creating a menu around more nutrient dense soul food dishes or maybe you could attempt getting creative with some healthy swaps.
All in all, a run for a โgo-toโ healthy soul food meal; all extremely tender, flavorful and without a ton of work on your part, could just be the right kind of inspiration for a healthy lifestyle and wellbeing. Best part is that you can still honor tradition by pitching-in ingredients for most of them shelve our kitchens even today. All youโd need to do is swap butter for heart-healthy oils like olive, peanut, or canola oils; replace high sodium, high-fat meats with smoked, skinless ones or even expand your food by trading meat for legumes, nuts or seeds as your protein source. Believe me, creating healthy soul foods would be a lot easier than it seems.
Just be mindful of intake of things for at the heart of a soul food lie rich flavors, nutrition and piece of legacy!
Tea as they say isnโt just a beverage. Itโs the stuff that sets the ball rolling for celebrations across the world. Itโs a morning habit of countless people to kick start their day. Itโs an excuse to get out of the Office, hang around with friends and let go for a while. Itโs an after-dinner warm succor to help unwind after a long day. Itโs the brew that blends companionship, calmness and ceremony, all in equal measures.
Depending on what kind of tea you drink, when and with whom, there are very few things in this World to beat the comfort of a piping hot cup of tea, especially when the freshly brewed, hot, mildly sweet cuppa chai accompanies a plateful of freshly baked toasts slathered with peanut butter and honey or come with delectable toast toppings!
I adore toast. I love it hot and brown and crisp with butter or topped with a slice of cheese melted to perfection. My knees weaken at the thought of a toast spattered with peanut butter and honey and if itโs doable โฆbrown sugar!
Image source: ‘Toast & Milk Tea’ in foodnetworks.org
Toast and tea at five-o’clock teatime has an old hand tradition and dates back to as early as 1840s. Anna, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, and her coterie of ladies of the court would sit together for an afternoon treat of tea, sandwiches, scones, and cakes. What began as a preferred pick-me-up tea time by the duchess then, was fated to set the stage for ย a โbig time โgreat gunsโ experience for every tea enthusiast in years to come.
Itโs hard to tell whether itโs a fascination for things that carried a hint of nobility or people looking for an out-of-the-ordinary-way to entertain or just an undying love for dainty sandwiches and scrumptious muffins. But one thing is unmistakably true. There is something very homey about the smell of freshly brewed tea and bread baking. The faint whiff is so inviting and equally hard to ignore!
As always, a perfect toast made from whole grain bread is a big time temptation and tastes delish with teaโฆpub tea or your grand hotel tea, it doesnโt matter.
Image source: stock.adobe.com
All the while, the skill of preparing a perfect toast was developing greatly and had been quickly changing hands till today it is a commonplace item of interest in every kitchen. Maybe the ease of preparing this simple treat for tea time is another reason why it has gathered so much favor. Bread on the other hand, contains carbohydrates and gives you a quick energy shot without too much of a rush. A little butter or margarine on crispy brown toast is a visual delight that supplies you with some fat content in moderation and leaves you feeling satisfied. Some jams, preserves or marmalades on that toast perhaps! โฆ and you could add a fruity touch to your tea time. Kitchen geeks could get creative with the toast by using different types of breads. Rye, whole-wheat, sourdoughโฆsliced and toasted are great alternatives to plain while one. Diverse tastes abound. You can even try those really long french loaves that when sliced thin, yield enough for tea belters to munch on with their cuppa.
Speaking of tea, there are few kinds of this magical leaf that could bless you with a heavenly flavor reminiscent of a toast!
โThis story is one of empires and espionage, smuggling and addiction, rampage and passion and the protagonist of this remarkable tryst with history is none other than the humble leaf of teaโ;Actor Virginia Wood was perhaps reminiscing her little dalliance with tea time frolics when she had remarked this. With origin shrouded in mystery it is said that the tea leaves made their way into the boiling water by sheer accident. What followed next may not interest many but to me itโs hearty befitting in one way; so long as the sight of a buttery, sweet piece of cinnamon toast paired with a steaming mug of freshly brewed tea could make my heart jump a beat and bring smile to my face, Iโm fine with it!
Still not thrilled or tickled? Honestly!โฆa cup of tea holds a million possibilities. It calms your nerves. It invigorates and perhaps is the best recipe for instant comfort. The reassuring sound of a kettle coming to a boil and hot water being poured onto the tea is no less exciting than a freaking dream job landing at your door step unannounced! The aroma escaping the pot is simply distinctive, tempting and nostalgic. When itโs winter, calls for a hot cup of tea any time anywhere would sound gratifying ; lazy monsoon evenings beckon a celebratory cup and a cuppa tea in hot summer days earnestly cool you down. Come brief autumn spell, a steaming cup provides you with few quiet wistful moments.
So, next time when you sip or slurp your favorite brew, think of all that has gone into its makingโฆcountless moments of history, untold efforts spent on coming up with some divine flavors, meticulous blendingโฆ just about everything that somehow blooms life on your tongue every time you savor it. Besides everything seems easy and doable once you pick up your cuppa chai. The miracle of the tea is that it knows how to create a storm in your cup every time you reach out for one!
Image source: ‘London Pottery Farmhouse’ in fishpond.com.au
And don’t forget that all pervasive warm whiff drifting down the hallway from the bread basket full of crispy brown toasts all hot and fresh and splattered to edges with butter and jam.
Could there be a better trimming to accompany your nice yellow pot of freshly steeped tea?
“I know when I compliment her, she won’t believe me / And it’s so, it’s so sad to think that she doesn’t see what I see / But every time she asks me do I look okay? I say / When I see your face there’s not a thing that I would change / ‘Cause you’re amazing just the way you are.”
Bruno Mars in โJust the way you areโ. Isnโt he trying hard to make someone feel better about her imperfect attraction?
When we sometimes underrate our own attractiveness even whilst people around would find us perfect and amazing, is it that somehow we have underestimated our appeal? Or do we rate ourselves more engaging only when viewed from a third-person perspective?
Surprisingly thereโs no absolute and true numbers when it comes to checking out oneโs desirability. There are no real threes, fives or eights. Just because there is so much confusion and inaccuracy about the magic of appeal and attraction, doesnโt mean that this embarrassment is meant to happen to everybody. Understanding what darlingness is about, calls for some explicit insight about peopleโs psyche. So, by some chance even if you happen to be the one who can act, sing and dance well, just so wouldnโt make you any more attractive than the person standing next to you!
Oddly, whenever you go wrong in realistically assessing your physical appearance and attraction, you underestimate your self-worth and appeal. You rate yourself dimly and so differently from those around you and keep wondering what others might think of you. This can be maddening till you figure out everything dismissive and cruel and psyche yourself out.
Here are a few signs that would let you see your true beauty and be sure that; โYouโre not unpretty and actually are more attractive than you think!โ
Image source: ‘How to know if you are attractive: 18 signs to look for’ in aconciousrethink.com
Everybody moves around you confused and awkward? –Itโs a sign youโre most entrancing.
Itโs a subtle sign that you are good looking, attractive and standing out from the crowd! Be it sharing a bench in the park, stranger asking directions, or a new intern looking up for tips, people feel comfortable approaching somebody whoโs alluring. Strangers would find you โeasy on the eyesโ and would readily assume that youโd be polite and they could be themselves when around you.
When somebody reaches out to you, it usually cuts through all the unease and none of you would realize why youโve picked each other. Could it be anything but an irresistible attraction in you that has drawn a stranger irresistibly?
Signs that you are gorgeous and charming are sometimes so faint to notice that they are usually ignored and get buried quickly. Queerly when others find you attractive, a lot many of them might become jumpy and feel anxious to be around you even when thereโs little opportunity for it. As it happens, you can expect to be stalked on social media or followed discreetly around places where you tend to hang around and all this is for a slim possibility of winning your acquaintance!
Attraction is by far very intimidating. Itโs almost impossible not to get flustered when someone fancies you. So, if you notice people acting strange around you itโs very likely that they find you attractive despite not knowing how to tell you that or what to say!
Hot or cold, people feel strongly for you- Itโs a sign youโre winsomeand a delight to engage.
What somebody having feelings for you really means to you? Doesn’t everything sound promising in the beginning? It though is unlikely that everything would really end up the way youโd think it should?
When youโre attractive, those around you may tend to flaunt extreme feelings towards you. Malice or warmth, it could be anything from overtly friendly to heartlessly cold and harsh. Whichever… itโs most likely that when people find you attractive they’d really want to get to know you. Some may act petty towards you as well. They feel gross and may find you intimidating or are simply jealous of your looks and appearance. Others might try to come up to you on any excuse just to have a way to talk to you and be around you.
More often than not, when someone seems drawn to you and want to say, โYouโre gorgeous!โ or โI have feelings for youโ but canโt; it is only because they donโt know how to voice their feelings or the thoughts. And all the while without you knowing, for them youโre mesmerizing and irresistible!
Image source: ‘7 little signs that youโre more attractive than you believe’ in relrules.com
You donโt get complimented often- Itโs a sign youโre a stunner!
Has it ever happened to you; youโre all dressed-up to kill for a party but nobody has complimented you? Ok, thatโs rough. It could actually make you feel disappointed and withdrawn. You have prided yourself as hot or hypnotic yet somehow couldnโt find an admiring eye. Even that prized Charlotte Tilbury lipstick or Ralph Lauren tie, couldnโt help much to let others take notice of you on a party night!
You may not believe this but it works otherwise. It actually is a definite sign that you are extremely attractive and arresting. Itโs just that you look so good all the time even when you havenโt tried at all to be that, that it really doesnโt make much of a difference to those around you.
When people donโt compliment you itโs only because youโre amazing as always and not noticing you is very normal. It sounds twisted but not getting enough cheers even when youโre looking and feeling your best is actually one of the best signs that youโre ‘darlingly‘ attractive.
You are annoyed by the attention that keeps coming back–It’s a sign you’re obsessively attractive!
Are you uncomfortable with peopleโs attention that so often seems to zero-in on you? Do people answer with a pleasant; โOh, I know who you areโ whenever you decide to make yourself known? Are you thrilled to know that they remembered something about you that you had so casually talked about earlier? If your answer is โyesโ then โฆyouโve absolutely smashed it! Itโs not simply a piece of luck or trick of the moment; people do take notice of you and pay attention to every little thing about you when they find you attractive and exciting.
Attraction is a catchy word that is obsessive, engrossing and alwayssets in motion the expected; itsurefiredrawsattention in an infallible way!
There is yet another side to this. Itโs pretty hard to believe that all this admiration about physical appearance is after all momentary. People we admire could be just as insecure as we are. Itโs only because how amazing they look, that we readily give in to thinking that they have nothing to worry about. Truth is that we all have our moments of low self-worth. Many would be surprised if you dare say; โIโm not happy with myself and wish I could change the way I look!โ
By far you can safely sell this to yourself. Any flaw that you spot in yourself in the mirror is unimportant most of the time and people adore you the way you are.
Double takes are unnerving – But they are a sign that youโre ravishing!
You might be tempted to glower back but this is not about an angry staring contest. Youโre not going to throttle someone! Gawking in fact is fair and agreeable if itโs only about your attractiveness? Arenโt you thrilled when people subtly try to catch your gaze? Doesnโt it excites you when they look away, embarrassed at having been caught staring at you?
On days when you feel uneasy on becoming aware that strange eyes are boring down your person, itโs natural to get intimidated. The happy part though is that itโs a sure sign that youโre a lot more attractive than you realize! Your presence has created attention and if heads turn easily with all eyes on you, it might just be that you tempting and inviting!
Whateverโฆdonโt let all that attention and curiosity make you self-conscious. When people around you stare, itโs one of the most obvious signs in public that you are definitely a stunner even when youโve rated yourself six out of ten in terms of attractiveness. Youโre probably more alluring than you think you are!
Image source: ‘The science of confidence and attraction’ in cmp.smu.edu.sg
I guess popular emphasis on beauty is a revered obsession for most. And understandably so since being physically attractive is more pivotal and valuable to people’s perception than meets the eye. Besides there is no point in killing the joy of being appreciated!
It’s like meeting your heartthrob all pumped up, even if itโs for a little while!
โItโs back again!โโMonster day is here!โโBless me, itโs Friday only!โ โLetโs get this 9-5 out of the way!โ or โStill stuck with your 24/7 passion at work?โ
How often we hear telling this insanity to ourselves or to others. Sometimes we say with conviction, at others with little wit or a meme but most often with restrained disdain. โMonday bluesโ are in fact best described as the barb that many people experience at the beginning of the workweek, largely because they are not happy at work. Depression, tiredness, hopelessness and an inkling that work is unpleasant but unavoidable is what triggers pangs of anxiety, sadness and stress as you grudgingly move towards your desk after a restful weekend.
But why Mondays are such a drag? Why do you have to put up with a terribly freakish downhearted choice that has no escape?
Many would easily laugh it off as โjust the way things are!โ, but this is more than just a passing weariness; a warning sign that not everything is right at work.
So, do you start your workweek all overwhelmed and bored, stressed and unhappy? Are you sluggish, drag your feet and not fired up? If youโre unwilling to get down to business or donโt want to but have to keep smiling then you sure have lost out to โLunaediesophobiaโ or simply put โThe Monday bug‘!
Letโs put it the other way; if you love your job and are passionate about it, Monday morning ought to be reckoned as an opportunity to do what you love most. On the contrary, if the idea of starting yet another seemingly endless workweek cracks you up and gets you all worked up, itโs only because youโre feeling down and not hungry anymore to be productive.
Monday blues! Mundane Mondays! Scary Monday! Itโs isnโt only about sadness in your head. Your dislike for 9-5 job isnโt a pop psychology invention, but hints of a more serious condition characterized by feelings of helplessness and crash. Weโve all been there and like everybody else I too have sensed that clammy dread as the weekend draws near leaving us with a sinking sense of downturn.
Often finding myself sluggish and tense and overwhelmed on a new week start, I desperately dug around and found these six incredibly powerful yet easy ways to offload my wicked feelings letting me stay 2 steps ahead of my oddity.
Give it a shot if you do not wish to unhinge, have set your heart to fix the jinx and would love some good times to roll in once again!
Unplug for now- Itโs fun time!
Image source: Pixabay.com.
Give your mail box a miss, if possible over the weekend especially since youโre not going to respond till Monday anyways. Handing out yourself something to feel unsettled and scattered, only adds to your exhaustion. True, itโs tempting to know whatโs waiting for you, but drawing line between personal and work times does keep things in check. When you leave Office on Friday eve, cast aside your work issues for a while. Donโt let anything creep into your off-time. Itโs time to have fun and rejuvenate!
Donโt let the candle burn at both ends
You have slogged all through the work week just to be free for weekend partying. In truth you have actually earned yourself some space and time to relax. But donโt forget that coming Monday can be extra stressful from work that has potentially piled up from the week gone by and for many it could challenging to jump right back in!
To ride over the Monday morning anxiety, get rid of uncomfortable and awful tasks as far as possible by Friday afternoon itself. By taking care of things you least want to handle at the end of one workweek, you simply make the start of next one much easier.
Come Monday morning and get all unpleasant assignments done as early as possible so that you donโt spend rest of the day feeling as if a black cloud is hanging over your head! Clean up the mess fast and youโll feel a lot better once itโs over. No reason why you should axe your off-time or peace even on as dreadful a day as Monday.
โForty winksโ will make you fine and full of beans!
Image source: Pixabay.com.
Itโs probable that you have spent the entire weekend and Sunday eve partying around, but overdoing that could be overwhelming! If youโre running only a couple of hours sleep, itโs highly likely that youโre not going to feel good on next daybreak. Jittery and all scattered you wonโt feel good about going anywhere when the alarm goes off on Monday morning.
To make things work out smoothly, itโs good to go to bed a little early on Sunday night and get enough of sleep. Youโll wake up well rested on Monday morning, all revved up to face the World with a zing. An extra 15-30 minutes early rise could make your Monday morning actually a lot easier. Having a little more of โme timeโ makes the shift from crazy clubbing and wild bashes to work place setting a bit more comfortable. Simply stay unstrapped of โtime crunchโ. This way you could spare yourself some time to enjoy breakfast, do exercise or even take your dog for a short walk. In fact, youโll feel more centered for the rest of the day.
If thatโs not enough at least sell this idea to yourself; โIโm not a robot that just sleeps and works. Iโll do nicer things to me for I deserve a better dealโ. Youโll be amazed to see how things fall into place all by themselves.
Bring smile to someone
Getting smile on someoneโs face or doing something nice for somebody actually helps lift your spirits. Remind yourself to do some good as soon as you get to work on Monday. This will also work around to shift the overall mood around you at work!
Seeโฆ the best way to cheer yourself up is to make someone else go happy. Compliment a colleague, be nice to your client, help out a stranger on the street or find a way to make someone elseโs day a little better and see how miraculously you ride through your work day all free and easy and lively!
Have heart for fun at work place
Things and actions as small as bringing donuts to your colleague, taking a quick break to catch up with a friend in the Office, sharing weekend escapades with co workers, are great fun and a big way to strengthen connects within the four walls where nothing is a reason good enough to cut loose and doodle. A weekly Monday coffee break or lunch time with friends would be just as great. Unknowingly in turn you create an event that you love most. Youโll look forward to all the Mondays as a way to break up the day with moments of good times. At least youโll have a chance to take a deep breath, hang around and talk, pull-up and gather your wits again for the rest of the day.
Line up post-work bustle
Once you start your work week with an โattitude of gratitudeโ, you will begin to appreciate things that you enjoy most about work. Surprisingly without you realizing, it kicks off even before you get to work! You use Monday as the day to wear your favorite outfit to look good, feel good and be complimented. Half the battle for Monday morning is already won when you begin to feel good about yourself. It makes you all jazzed up to face work with confidence than be deflated by it.
But is that all youโve planned for the day? Shouldnโt you be looking forward to something after youโve slogged through the day desperately trying to get over with the pile of things?
The day doesnโt have to be all about getting up to the go to the Office and trudging deep. Make your Monday a special day where you go out with friends post-work, fix-up your favorite dinner or catch up on your favorite Netflix soap youโve missed so dearly with a bowl of popcorn, bucking up the rest of your evening.
Itโs always good to take a little more of downtime. Things will always perk up like never before!
Image source:’How to deal with Monday blues for your employees’ in fibe.in.
On Sunday afternoons or early Sunday evenings, the thought of waking up on Monday morning and the slog lying ahead all through the work week, would zap the joy out of my rest of the day. As the weekend would near it’s end, my mood also would plummet. The dread of a monstrous upcoming workweek would take the wind out of my sails.
This is when I clearly began to see the warning signs of a downturn and resolved for a turn around that I had endured so far. Things changed quickly thereafter and became encouraging. I was getting excited and energized even on monstrous Monday mornings, not just tired and depressed any longer.
If youโve heard this; โYou can’t please all of the people all of the timeโthen youโd know that there will always be people in life who donโt like you. This hurts, but on the flip side it feels wonderful when someone does like you. Itโs exciting and perks up your confidence. Besides appreciation is one powerful way to build up strong relations and success at work.
Image source: istockphoto.com.
Itโs an uncomfortable truth but donโt we all want to be likeable? Who wouldnโt want to charm his or her way into someoneโs life at the blink of an eye?
Being hyper-likable is one easy way to make life significantly spicy and intoxicating but it come easier to some than others. Fortunately this is one trait that nobody is innately born with. True, charismatic people are born charming, but likability is something that can be learned and sharpened just like the way you learn at the bourses.
I was not born lucky with natural charisma; one of the likes whoโre the masters of the working room with mere handshakes and wide grins. I couldnโt manage to be one in my late teens and early twenties. Unlucky for me it didnโt happen till well into my late thirties!
Iโve always been a shy introvert but I did know what it was like to connect with others. May be because of this reason Iโd always admire people who would make people like me feel at ease in their presence and would readily connect to virtually anyone like myself. These were the people whom I could hardly forget. I observed them and appreciated them for understanding my vulnerable side. It was like the more someone opened to me, the closer I felt drawn to them. It made things easier for me and I felt something good happening around me. I was finally being myself.
Like I said earlier instant likeability doesnโt come easy for everyone. For those more on the introverted side, things do get raw at times. Yet I felt drawn to the ways these people made me feel. Surprisingly it never hit me as awkward. All I wanted was to learn the secrets of likeability; behavior, traits and everything and then accept them as my own.
Image source: ‘Why being likable can be a remarkable life skill’ by LaRay Quy in theladders.com on Oct. 05,2018.
Starting in 1992, somethingpositive began panning out for me. I was all piped up to learn to be a super likable person that everyone feels comfortable around and wants to get to know better. I was getting to understand how I could endear myself from the get-go. I was beginning to know the importance of presenting myself as a genuine person who is willing to connect.
It felt like being on cloud nine!
Hereโs four most compelling ideas that then helped me make people finally see me as someone they would want to have a conversation and hang out with!
Pick up a lively, lighthearted friendly demeanor
Over the time I have seen people losing their likability because of their fake optimism and dumb likeness. May be itโs all because they donโt mean to sound negative and distant but are uncomfortable in crowd or perhaps theyโre get more self contained in masses.
Intriguing as it was, all the while I kept in mind that before opening up people do try to get a read on you. Nothing turns off them more than trying to communicate with somebody closed-off and uncommunicative. Nobody gets excited about getting to know you when that happens.
So, I decided to let my guard down and asked myself not to be afraid to be me. I became aware of how I was expected to present myself to others. I did my best to stay open and send friendly vibes around. Incredibly, my personality began to shine through as I kept unplugging. I learned to smile true; no plastic ones. I also picked up how to make genuine eye contacts and nods to show that I was listening. I got the hang of what leaning when listening to someone can do to your acceptability.
For once I was beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin! My body language was finally doing works for me drawing others naturally to me.
Getting past the small talk is winsome
A boring nerd to start with, I was looking for positives in every situation. I knew that pessimist talk doesnโt win friends and neither does the small talk. Itโs Ok to talk about weather or your local sports team but these conversations donโt win long term favors. Besides itโs a sure way to alienate togetherness and bring the entire mood to dumps.
To make things brighten up and make a great impression, I moved past it. I took to discussing genuine, down to earth issues whenever I had the opportunity to chat. I asked about other personโs family, their hobbies and passions.
Youโll be surprised how much close you could get to people learning about them and theyโll like you better for having learned it.
Image source: istockphoto.com.
Assume everybody has something better for you
One great way to pitch for your likability is to assume that every single person has something of importance that you donโt. Everything thatโs happening around you is born out of mind of another person and youโve missed it.
When hanging around with friends or in some serious company, I was making sure that focus was not only on me, my problems, my life and my opinions. In fact, I approached every conversation thinking that itโs not an opportunity for me to unload myself on another person, but rather a chance for me to get to know someone better, learn something different and extra and to connect in a way I havenโt before!
I realized I didnโt need to make others envy and awe over who I am and what Iโve achieved. Instead I learned to share with them what I care about and what I hope for. This one time I was not trying to impress; I was being honest with my needs and boundaries.
Pep talk and shared interests always lit the spark
Likable people are approachable and personable because theyโre good at listening and equally willing to talk; no preconceived notions or passing judgment on others. This is how I found them to be setting up a common ground of mutual interest. A little bit of homework and I was surprised to know that all the diverse interests and backgrounds usually did the rest!
At some point I was viewing each person I met as an opportunity to learn something. Of course I did meet people whom I disagreed with but kept myself in check. The idea was to allow others to have their say and make them feel heard. A bit of pep talk was meant to be a sweetener and pushed for deeper conversation. Was I being open minded? Perhaps! โฆ when someone smiled I felt inclined to smile back. May be social sync was doing favors at last. Unwittingly I was mimicking other personโs body postures and speech patterns to get connected easily!
Believe me it felt good to go to Old school and spend some time having small pep talk with those around me. At long last I had begun to rake up some real good relationships by sharing thoughts and having fun together.
Feature credits:’Kindness and Joy” by Inspiration Quest in Youtube.com.
Likability is something that is virtually within everybodyโs reach. All you need to do is to make others feel good around you. I did just that by avoiding being judgmental, letting others open up, giving my undivided attention, enthusing others, putting my phone away and memorizing names.
Strangely, contrary to what I thought earlier most of the times itโs something that was under my control and I couldnโt see that before.
Gee!…This time I could open the door from the inside!!
Thatโs what Iโd hear every time I asked my mother how she was doing. Cringing eyes, creaking knees and despairingly loosening skin, all were a painful reminder of her advancing age. Yet I could never see any shame in her eyes in growing old or struggling with her body. At 70 you wouldnโt hope to be the same adorable pig tailed raunchy gal who would climb the trees, jump the wall or beat up all the boys.
For years I couldnโt understand why she would react like that when she could only walk gingerly and mostly not without support. She mustโve been weighing just 40 kg soaking wet at that time!
It was only long after she was gone that I could understand what she meant by saying fat and sassy! She lived and proved it in the way she carried herself, the way she spoke, the way she did everything. Hard to guess if she ever knew that she was my first truly trusted cheeky mentor. And Iโm sure she never meant that being sassy a lot of time would mean being rude to people or having a nasty attitude for no reason. Of course it implied that I could do whatever I wanted but itโs not cute if I did hurt somebody.
So, instead of blending in with the crowd, I so badly wanted to stand out, much like my Maa and instead of going with the flow, I wanted to create one and be that spicy unstoppable person in any situation.
Here are five things that have helped me shape out a long-craved oomph life for myself!
Charming and saucy! Itโs a good start
Thereโs an abundance of info doing the rounds in blogs, podcasts, books and websites and Ted talksโฆ still you want to be confident not cocky; honest but not hurtful and certainly cheeky but not rude. Youโre always upbeat about yourself, yet know very well that you couldnโt squeeze the most out of your life in one go.
Hereโs what you could do for a start!
Audacity is not disrespectful when you say something a little brash but with a smile and donโt actually mean anything by it. Itโs kinda spice of attitude thrown in the mix! So next time your friend texts you, “Hey, can I come over to your place so that we could just hang around?โ be wise about the man thing before responding and ask your heart, mind and soul before you reply. To say โNoโ if thatโs how itโs meant to be, need not sound impolite or rude.
Itโs time to start living your best
If there is one thing thatโs true for all sassy people, itโs that they come packed with exuberance, wisdom for handling real-life situations and are full of insights about living life to the fullest.
LookโฆIt does take some confidence and gusto to do your things the way you like them, to love yourself and to speak up your mind. Because youโre freaking cool, being confident isnโt much of a challenge to you. However, if you couldnโt handle and allow your inner sass out, make it easy by starting from the outside in. True, confidence comes from within, but a little can seep in from the outside as well.
So, get dressed up, start feeling good on the outside and behave and act like a confident you would. Shoulders back, head held high as you walk, a little flirt, an eye roll, a small touch perhaps or a faint smile and youโll find your body language channeling your sass in no time. But keep it to a minimum since that stuff gets negative pretty easily. There will always be people who are easily offended and will think of you as rude.
Fun doesnโt hurt anybody
If being brassy, bold and adorable is a lot about having fun, why shouldnโt you have some? Once your confidence turns high and races heavenwards itโs highly unlikely that you would slink out of the fun and romp that comes your way. Simply try being the person who loves being bouncy and peppy. If youโre listless, uninterested in people around you or hard to enthuse, your charming cockiness could easily be mistaken for cynicism.
Seriously, be the person who can have fun with anything, anywhere. A pep in your step would keep your sassiness (with a smile of course) upright and would make others find you funny and enviable.
So stop slouching over the phone and no more day dreaming or glazed-over cold looks. Get in the moment. Look around you. Respond with a smile or a nod when people talk to you. Ask, inquire, crack jokes or flirt a little for all I care. But live the moment for every time it’s a show time!
Your X-factor will help you smile!
Living fat and sassy never cheats you of following your passions and loving your family. Being alive purposefully and genuinely instead earns you some kindness and urges you to stay connected.
Do you know of people who mystically stay โinvisibleโ? They would walk into the room and nobody would notice, hang around and will barely make a sound. And thatโs that. Nobody checks out on them; nobody sits up for them. In fact, there is something about their unwillingness to try that makes them cower or cringe among people who are dynamic and metallic. Instead of challenging their fears, they find comfort in shutting out than shine brighter.
Believe me, slinking would never let you speak up your mind or zero-in and build up on your confidence.
Image source: ‘Feelings, emotions and moods: How to say what you are experiencing’ by Jody Michael in jodymichael.com
But thatโs not you. Youโd die doing anything to live large. Wonโt you? You love to crack jokes, tell stories and wouldnโt hesitate to showcase that spilled coffee stained shirt, modeling it and thumping around; โstains are the rocking rageโ! For you being sassy is something about making everybody take notice.
And thatโs Ok! No need to shy away if all eyes are on you. The best part is that your bouncy breeziness will keep the party going. Seeโฆnot everybody can do that. Just be the person that can have fun with anyone, anythingโฆ anywhere.
You could be a surprise trendsetter
Donโt be surprised if everybody around you starts doing Muay Thai or sashay around like BoyWithUke– that smashing net influencer. Sassies are effervescent and would find humor in just about anything. Thereโs nothing they are unwilling to try.
So let your personality run riot. Public speaking, heights or slugs, even challenging yourself will be just as fine in surprising others as your kinky yoga postures! Simply tame your hardwired wits to listen to you. Itโs the willingness to jump outside the box and do what others are often afraid to do, will make you bolder and shine brighter.
Besides, can you imagine of yourself as wise and sassy in a walrus outfit?
Image source: istockphoto.com
Interestingly, aware or not most people experience sweeping range of emotions each day and unfortunately most of these are unpleasant and sometimes awfully harsh. Irksome as they are, each one of us easily gets tired of sulking in a bad mood all day long and want the physical sensation to be exciting and stirring. Besides whatโs the fun in being nice and shy all the time? Saucy, vivacious and bold wouldnโt we all want to have these enviable qualities and not just tow the lambโs tail?
And just for the record, donโt worry what others would think. Living life your way comes free!!
If the sense of happiness is all about being satisfied with what you have, whatโd make you happy? A bigger house or better car perhaps, a more understanding mate, wealth and fame surely? Or maybe just finishing everything on your to-do list would do the wonders!
Well!โฆ you may stop fooling yourself if you believe that any one of these would increase your happiness remarkably. Itโs a myth that anyone would feel happiness all the time. Buy that unreality and youโve got it all wrong. This is because we grow up with the belief that life is meant to make us feel good when this optimism is exactly what stops us in our tracks. We lose the capacity to see what we do have and what is going right for us! Our pursuit ends with anything but joy and wellness.
Most of us get happiness all wrong or donโt understand it at all. We crumble at the first signs of stress because we begin to feel bitter and turn hostile; something what we are not meant to. The fear of change makes misery more frightening. Negative emotions overshadow everything and this is when we begin to misinterpret happiness. In fact we go about it in reverse unwittingly. The good news is that while the roadblocks to happiness do exist, they are largely within our control!
So, does happiness seem to get out of your reach every time no matter how hard you try? Are you the only person you know who isnโt peaceful and happy at will? Count on yourself to corner these common thieves of happiness and change them so you could be as happy as a sand boy again!
When you live in the past
It saddens me to see people being stuck in an endless replay of their good old days. And it’s hurtful. Regretting what you did or couldnโt do is in vain because you were a different person then and there is nothing you could do to change the unsavory parts of your past now.
Whatโs the antidote then?
Healthy boundaries are the key to happiness. Without a blue print of whom and what you want to be in life, you cannot muster enough emotional courage for your well being. Like everything else we humans evolve constantly and are just as fallible as the next person. So, you cannot allow your past to screw up your life on account of some wretched person who turned your life upside down for you and made you go nuts try cleaning up the mess!
Itโs true that fires from the past hurt our intrinsic self worth and would hang on with us lifelong. But flawed or fine you shouldnโt let that โour lives are pretty goodโ idea be taken away just because you didnโt get the chance to do things your way!
Image source: ‘Fun winter activities for fostering teens’ in orchardfostering.ieon Nov. 04, 2022.
Cynicism is bitter
When youโre in limbo and couldnโt resist reevaluating yourself, isnโt this what crosses your mind so often; โโHere we go again…someone telling me Iโm crazy, and I need to get fixed!โ You just couldnโt get rid of undying unpleasant thoughts of your pushy stubborn connections and would react to the same people and situations in an irresponsible manner. Your thoughts are jaded and would block your way.
But thereโs a way out!
It is our thoughts that always manifest our emotions and for that reason we canโt help and stay stuck with our feelings. Yet thatโs not entirely true! Since we are hard wired with a penchant for negative thoughts, anything flawed instinctively makes us look for the darker side.
One way to combat this incredulity is to uncover your thoughts instead of living them. Deal with your blunted rationale and pull down the cynicism. Itโs always a great help since itโs the quality of our thoughts that means everything to experience happiness.
So โฆstop sneering and smile your blues away!
Every feat is a fresh start
As a quite unsmiling kid, I always looked forward to crossing over the milestones. Passing the college, finding a job, independent living, marriage, parenthood, travel; I just about weighed everything as a milestone. Then one day in my 30โs I woke up and asked myself, โAm I not living the futureโ? Nothing would quell my quest then but later I was to realize that there are barriers in everybodyโs life and I was just overcoming one challenge after another only to find next one knocking on my door.
This is an imperfect reality. โHere-and-nowโ is as difficult to others as it is to me. I was all caught up in the โtomorrow gameโ; something that I was to choreograph my future life upon. And all the whiletodayโsprecious moments kept passing me by.
There is nothing like โperfect timeโ in life. If you wait for future for something good to happen, an anxious world will slip you by. You cannot afford to postpone your happiness until the time ripens in future when everything is โjust rightโ. Only that time never comes for anybody.
Imperfect happiness is what must be earned today for a shining tomorrow. So stop being defensive and do not take emotional wellness for granted. The pursuit of happiness drives much of what we do, but accomplishing it always appears out of reach.
After all, happiness is not mystic or faded and worrying for it will only be a waste of time.
Image source: ‘How to let go of expectations and find what makes you happy’ by Justine Carino in carinocounseling.com
Comparison would hurt
Do you ever wonder while scrolling through Instagram or surfing Meta, “Iโd be really happy if only my life was like so-and-soโ? forgetting that our best is waiting in the wings to happen. “What if I could never become part of this edited realityโ?
Being unhappy 24/7 doesnโt mean that youโre flawed; itโs only something inside you that needs dealing with- something thatโs there right with you all the time. Unfortunately, if it tows you incessantly, you unknowingly would begin focusing on what isnโt working for you all the time. This is when the slump strikes. Your bad chemistry wriggles out free and drives you to make some awful choices that could worsen your life. So stop struggling with your comparison mania and check on your jinxed self- awareness. Trust me youโd get busier mapping and cloning the happiness quotient of your peers in no time and will be all smiles and value to your life.
See…it’s only this sneaky disparity that burgles all attempts to be in paradise!
Being grateful for the good, solid relationships, positive experiences and loving memories rescues us from disappointments. Chasing more likes, more hearts and more approvalis an unproductive way to be happy; itโs more of a recipe for misery and discontentment. Feel-good emotions and meaning wouldnโt betray you if you stayed good with your personal set-point of contentment!
Image source: ‘The key to lasting happiness’ in theohmstore.co on Jan.15, 2019.
Happiness for all we know is an inside job. Sure buying a shiny new car, sleek digs and a leisurely vacation are exciting. But these are temporary fixes and sometimes influence how we feel in the short run. Even a most cynical person could experience a sudden spike in happiness on winning a lottery.
This reminds me of my grandpa. He never missed to quip when in high spirits; “See… happiness doesnโt always roar. Sometimes it is the little voice in your head at the end of the day that says Iโll be around with you for a while!โ
Like everything else happiness too is as elusive, messy, chaotic but pleasant possibility. Understanding the intrinsic ways you could work to win it over will definitely earn you ever-lasting moments of true happiness.
YesโฆPeople around you are great but so is self โhelp. Just break free for once and I’m sure you’ll start loving yourself!!
I still remember what my grand pa used to say when chiding,โYou bet your sweet bipโ.Back at home, a boring remake of Pinch kitchen would mock me daily. Food here necessarily carried a strict mandate; it should be healthy, delicious, and family friendly. Everything cooked was meant to be eaten in each category or it simply wouldnโt get made again!
An average cook in those days did muster some sort of taste mandate. True, food tasted great but it always took a while to reach the platter and needlessly paraded unhealthy fats, excessive calories with occasionally a pinch more of sugar or salt! Losing weight was not much of a challenge then.
Fast forward; fad food like everything else too changed hands. Health and healthy life styles gained priorities. And by the end of late 80โs, food was on an arduous journey of satisfying different menu, umami unmistakably among them. Plus, some irresistible vegetarian fare loaded with saturated fats was beginning to run wild as a fantasy cuisine.
Concerns that fat, luxury gourmet food was adding inches to the girth of every second personโs sweet bippy had begun surfacing. Not much in the beginningโฆbut no sooner it was to become a common feel that โIโm not losing weight fast enough, despite following a healthy lifestyleโ. Something was preventing people from seeing the changes everybody was looking for. The advices were perhaps misguiding or outdated!
From sizzlers to fries and from hearty brunch to luxurious spread, the food tasted great everywhere. But the battle for being deliciously healthy had just begun everywhere.
So much so for yesteryearsโฆ.what began as an unsettling worry, today is every personโs anxiety over serious consequences of cheating food!
Image source: ’25 Delicious Apple Recipes That are Perfect for Fall’ by Perri O. Blumberg in eatthis.com on Sep.03, 2020.
Losing weight is challenging at times. Even Harvey Diamondโs โFit for life: Not fat for lifeโ theory of food indulgence linked to weight loss doesnโt carry enough sway despite being uncomplicated. You might feel youโve doing enough but still not get the results you want. In reality however, itโs not all that simple since you canโt eat fruits with other foods and dare not combine protein and starches. Whateverโฆif not much at least you can just follow one simple rule; โEat more living food than dead foodโ.
So, if healthful living is not helping you shed inches fast enough, perhaps you should try going beyond what cookbooks tell you. Maybe you can cheat on what you eat and still lose weight!
Is your food healthy?
Not always really. Contrary to popular belief food sounds good so long itโs about eating fruits and vegetables. Yet itโs way too loose when it comes to choosing the starches and proteins, for itโs possible that either youโd shortchange yourself or overeat. Besides no dairy means youโre not getting enough of calcium especially when nobody knows for sure which veggies are calcium rich and which are not. Then there is one more nagging concern! โDead foodsโ (meats and starches) audaciously bulldoze the digestion system and zap energy leaving you feeling enervated. Unless you follow certain โfood combiningโ rules seriously, improper food pairing โsupposedly harmful- would make you fat.
Donโt lose your mind, Lose weight instead!
Weight loss for many means forsaking the fattening food we all love. No creams, no chips, no wine, no burger, no sweetsโฆno fun! But this kind of annoying melt-off regimen could actually end up with more cravings for forbidden foods and goals get abandoned long before their time. โ101 Foods That Can Save Your Lifeโ couldn’t salvage much and doesnโt pitch for serious deprivations either! โTaking away a personโs favorite food can be a death knell to a weight loss planโ. Splurging on favorite foods should be an open option since anyone can follow severe diet plan for a short time only.
Sloughing 60 lbs in 60 days!
Everyone slips up when it comes to calorie counting and thatโs fine so long as you donโt return back to it. When that happens youโd take note of it and would get right back into your food plan. What better way to avoid throwing in the towel! Besides in any case itโs almost impossible to size yourself A+ when it comes to weight-loss attempt.
Since youโre craving for delectable food isnโt going anywhere soon and youโd want to indulge even more when somebody tells you โnot toโ, these tips could save you from falling out of grace and help you with that irresistible urge to gorge.
Image source: ‘Easy 15 days diet plan’ by Manju Malik in foodfitnessnfun.com on jan 09,2022.
Eat more of heavy foods
Lean protein and fiber are the food that is known to go for long distance. Eggs, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, soups, salads, lean meats, seafood and low fat dairy, all could fill up your insides fast and help tame your appetite. Always look for healthy snacks since you cannot afford to go for long periods without eating.
Say โYeahโ to flavor hits
Eating whatever you love in its most intense and tasty form is perhaps the best way to have less of it. This way you can have not much of it and yet get the flavor youโd die for. For instance if youโre crazy about crackling, crispy salty snacks, simply splurge on gourmet sea salt or kitchen salt and sprinkle it over a ripe, red tomato. Youโll not only have more brilliant bright flavor to relish but a better salty hit. Believe me, youโll use less and less of it over the time and wouldn’t miss anything.
Eat only what you love most
Truly, nobody wants to talk bad about their body and would be hawkish when it comes to weight-watching. If the food that you love is bad for your diet, then it had better be good. But you can still have it guilt free. All you need to do is watch and budget your calories. Instead of gulping down a trio of donuts each morning with coffee wouldnโt it be better to splurge on something as savory as a small wedge of creamy cheesecake?
Moreover if you are a dessert lover and wouldnโt want to miss anything to eat out, itโs a great deal important to go through the menu first. This way youโll know for sure where you are really headed and that will make it easier for you to skip creamy clam chowder or deep fried cheese sticks and settle for something more subtle like a slice of pecan pie perhaps!
Small bite makes big changes
Of course you can have it all, but not all in just one day. No food is off limits so long as you eat it sensibly. A couple of bites of dark chocolate is as good to satisfy your cravings without belting in too many calories as a small portion of cheesecake with a dusting of cookie crumbs instead of having a crust soaked in 6 tablespoons of melted butter! You can further prune down reduced- fat ingredients like light cream cheese and try a little less sugar. Lemon and lime zest add extra tang and while heightening the flavors make a dessert lighter so you can have more of it.
Image source: ‘The Best Jalapeรฑo Poppers’ by Meggan Hill in culinaryhill.com on Dec.08, 2021.
Small steps add big results
Whenever you indulge in diet splurge with a plateful of colorfully garnished food, donโt forget to top it off with a walk around the office building afterwards. Savor a pizza slice and a cola for your daily lunch, butโฆfour times a week instead of five. These small actions can help you with big results. Find out changes that work best for you.
Our natural in-built hard wired resistance to anything uncomfortable and upsetting is what makes us fail on diets most of the times. Thatโs what makes it so important to be wary of our food experiences! Being more aware of whatโs on your plate, is always a mindful meal experience so long as we know what we are splurging on.
Image source: ‘Image source: ‘Can intermittent fasting help you lose weight?’in indianexpress.com on May 03, 2019.
Incredibly, thereโs always been a way to eat your cake and lose weight! Knowing well that you cannot forsake your favorite temptations for long and youโll break down sooner or later and overindulge, isnโt it easy to โeat it with full consciousnessโฆlick your lips and then move on with your lifeโ? So, why not try a more sensible way to love your cheese cake and manage your food splurge and calorie count? You bet you can cheat on your favorite food anytime and still beat the scales.
Your chances of weight-loss success are far more decent in the long run ‘cos โthe more you know the more you can eatโ!
โA half truth is always a whole lieโ but itโs also โthe fastest way to prevent a mistake from turning into a failure.โ
We believe we would find happiness in marriage and love would flourish of its own love, but itโs not quite as simple. What at times seems soft spot could actually be turn out to be no more than an unpleasant familiarity. There is no such thing as โthe right personโ. The most important thing is to be in love with someone before letting it happen.
If you are one of those people who know who they are, what they want and wonโt compromise with their beliefs or happiness, then youโre in for a surprise! People around you might find you wildly attractive. You’d stand tall, speak clearly and calmly refuse to do anything that will offend your sweet will. Everything buys you some crazy cutting edge every time you make a choice.
Yetโฆ you may face a few straight ups too; โNobody Should Marry That Person!!โ
If liberal’s point of view is any good then wedlock must arise out of love alone. Still it’s a hardcore romanticism that never fails to rally and always comes with a pinch of idealism. Then there are disparagers who wouldn’t bite this. For them love perseveres and flourishes over time when two people decide to be together.
This double bind is perhaps crazy! But perhaps holds the key to getting what you might want in the first place-choices that earlier were never with you.
Shucks! What would you do now? Would you pretend your love so that you donโt appear disappointing? Would you confess that all love is lost between the two of you; you feel uninvolved yet would rather stay together? If you ask me I think each one of these would be more out of guilt and fear of backlash from people around you. On one hand your expectations of marriage are that it should be born out of love, on the other you canโt imagine being with someone you donโt love!
Too many questions but no straight answers! This of course is not an easy situation to work through. Youโre trapped with no way out but to ride through.
Interestingly, it is still widely believed that men are more likely to marry someone they feel might not be quite right for them. If this is true then the myth that women would do anything for a ring and that men would do anything to shun commitment, is all sham and of course has few takers. By the way, which lady hasn’t sympathized with Bridget Jones or chuckled at 27 Dresses?
Then there is yet more cynical version which would urge you to just marry and settle down because itโs hard for good people to come by and this one might be exactly that. โEven if you donโt love that person,โ some would say; โat least both of you are there to take care of each other. You can work on digging love after marriage over the timeโ; few would rather prefer a straight one; โYes you should marry that personโ or dismiss the whole thing with a โNo you shouldnโt!โ.
Image source: getty images.in
If you fancy spending the rest of your life with someone whoโll always by your side and take care of you when youโre old with white hair โ then of course itโs easy to find someone whoโd fit the bill. But this leaves something unanswered, โWhat marriage means to you?โ assuming nothing changes after marriage. Wouldnโt you be just a keeper and she simply a reliable, caring and perceptive partner with none of you sharing the same closeness for each other!
Even so, the idea of being alone is overwhelming, sometimes soul crushing. You may get a fateful urge to try and make nice things permanent without mincing anything.
Getting married is a blissful recourse but not without hang-ups; anybody we marry might not always be the right choice for us. Besides, bliss doesnโt happen every day every time! You should also know that something else has walked in your life if dislike for each other is no longer short lived and hostility endures beyond the normal choleric fights and scratchiness.
If that’s happening- you have married the wrong person!
Image source: ‘What the Quaker tradition taught me about โMrโ and โMsโ in hellogiggles.com o May. 02, 2015.
Given that, it is about the single costliest mistake any of us can make, itโs all the more reason why we often tend to make the wrong choices consciously. Seriously, we ruin our lives on excuses that would sometimes sound crazy in particular ways. Maybe Justโenough couldn’t hold to be Good-enough. And we also quite miss the consequences of a harmless looking willful accommodation between two people!
Want to freeze happiness?
Itโs not uncommon to wish for good things happening in life to last forever. Much like our car or our homes, donโt we all want to spend our lives with the people weโre having a terrific time with?
Stillโฆ
Dreaming of marriage as harbinger of an everlasting happiness would fall flat if we couldnโt bottle our love for each other. Unfortunately there is hardly any connection between marriage and emotions that usually grow byVenice, a time of day, a lack of work, an excitement at dinner or a short acquaintance with someoneโฆoutside love none of this guarantees happiness.
Not freezing anything marriage nonetheless is more of a peaceful, uneventful, sometimes nicely boring, comfortable, reliable and a decisive breather in life. It has the power to keep a relationship at a beautiful stage all through! A suburban house, long commute, small family; marriage has every ingredient of a lasting happiness. However, itโs a very different experience if you attempt to quick-freeze wrong ingredients. There will be as much doubt, hope, fear, rejection and betrayal in your marriage as thereโs in your single life.
Donโt break free! Your future is yet to happen
Itโs great if youโre here; nothing has happened yet and youโre free. There is still a chance and time to think over everything carefully and make a conscious decision. Of course, you will get chased by the feelings that you may well never meet someone that would come close. โWhat would I do then?โ you may wonder.
What the heck!…
Truly nobody can tell if and when youโll get to meet your perfect match one day, but when you do at least youโd be able to tell yourself; โWhen I agree to marry someone, Iโm doing it because I genuinely want to marry this person and because this is the one I want to spend the rest of my life withโ. You shouldnโt be looking for a partner merely because youโre fearful of the alternative– being left alone, not being able to find your perfect โOneโ and not having someone to take care of you for the rest of your life.
Image source: istockphoto.com
Marriage indeed is a serious business and it deeply impacts lives. Itโs never a wise move to look for hopes or expectations, that something else will happen of its own and that worries would leave you when love eventually happens out of a lifelong commitment.
Soโฆstop, breathe and look around for your beau monde. Sure, trying to meet new people and finding the right match could be draining at times but in the end nothing would be more comforting than to know that youโve eventually evaded being run down by that terrifying, heart numbing and draining unhappiness of being stuck in a marriage with someone you donโt love!
Did somebody ever tell you to cheer up and smile?… that you look so forlorn and miserable and are unhappy most of the time. Itโs probably not the most welcome advice especially when you are feeling sick, tired or down in dumps. It sounds pretty backwardโฆ kinda corny if somebody asks you to turn that frown upside down.
But there is actually a good reason behind it!
Happiness is what makes us smile and all kind of things start to fall in place when we feel positive and cheerful. But our brain refuses to believe that weโre happy till it gets to see humor actually happening. Itโs crazy; the brain is a sucker for a grin. It doesnโt bother to sort out whether youโre smiling because youโre happy or just pretending. For it, happiness is an elusive experience and is influenced by positive actions, relationships and change in attitude.
This is where all it takes is a small step to let happiness in and dupe it.
So, if you find yourself wading through rut of โdifferent day, same storyโ bored to bones and utterly unhappy; then this is the time to start changing your story. Your sufferings need to be eased and wrongs to be righted to make your world a wee bit brighter and happier to live tomorrow!
Fortunately, there are quick, simple and no-cost ways to get just that. But if you read the daily headlines and wish somebody would step in and make things better for, you sorely mistaken and all wet. Unmistakably itโs your call.
Inside all of us there is always a mighty โMalcolm Littleโ raring to act. You can be a force for good whether itโs about helping your neighbor, raising your voice to be heard or calling attention to a problem in need of a solution. Only you can help yourself repair your world.
Jeez!…This is not about more work. Itโs about changing your mindset, seeing things in a new way, making new habit or adding an action every week for the next year.
Here are a few that might just about do the trick for you.
Breathe fresh
I know what youโre thinking, “That sounds a lot of work! Arenโt you the one whoโs always telling others to stop being so busy?โ– Calm down! I definitely donโt mean that you cram thousand and one things in your day. Who wants more work? All I insist that if a thirty minutes walk could help restore your nervous system, reduce anger and quell some of your hostile attitude; heck!…why not? Still if it sounds too much, simply take small actions to increase your steps. Parking your car at the farthest spot in the parking lot or reaching out to water fountain more frequently will have a million benefits in and of itself.
Soโฆ stop, breathe some fresh air and look around. Youโll be amazed how easy it becomes to get your steps in!
Tune out of social media for a while
My grand dad used to say, โDonโt soak and sour, boy. Get upโ. Of course those were not the days of interactive platforms; and what he probably meant was, โI donโt care what you do so long as you find something that you love but donโt run too much with itโ.
Itโs easy to stay hooked to Instagram and Snapchat for long hours, but trust me, social media overkill could seriously put a damper on your mental health. Simply said it switches off all levels of comprehension not only for the time youโre engaged but your brain gets miffed with all the strange inputs and might stay cold for a while.
Instead, use at least 15 minutes of that inane insanity in reading the news, playing a brain-boosting game or listening to a fun or some thought-provoking podcast. Youโll get true joy from this new pursuit and may find a better version of yourself without changing a thing.
Count the best in others
Did you know that a four-leaf clover is mere mutation of sorts and never perfect? Yet when we get across one, we believe we have found something special. Is there a better way to notice the perfect even in the imperfect!
LookโฆOne way to be happier in life is to assume that people around you are no less good, well intentioned and usually set sail to their conversations to the best of their ability. Whether they hit the road or block, they mean no harm to you or anybody. Itโs just that thatโs the way they are. So, when we err on the side of assuming others have good motives, we shelter ourselves from reality and live with a negative mindset.
If Jim Rohn was any good in his assertions then each one of us is the average of top five percent of the people with whom we spend the most time. And if you could somehow find the most positive happy and engaging people with whom to interact, you would easily find your level of happiness and sense of achievement soaring.
When we intentionally choose to spend some sweet time with those who are not critical, are supportive, positive and encouraging, we โcanโt missโ to win a positive mindset and more of happiness.
After all, world is a happier place when we connect with those around us and eyeing the perfect even in the imperfect is the key to celebrating the good things in our lives.
Image source: getty images.ie
Spend more time with your loved one
When was the last time you told somebody that you loved them? Have you ever thought howโd you feel if you could grab even a hasty lunch with an old friend, have a home cooked meal with your partner or go hiking with your kids?
Whatever your answer, do it. Itโs never late to make a beginning. Your tendency to self sabotage gets laid to rest and celebrations begins to happen when you let happy surprises fill your day.
I know that for many of us, itโs kinda emotional black hole. Expressing feelings to somebody has never been easy, But then itโs your call. You need to overcome those barriers. Start by hanging out with your family or treasured friends. Talk to them. Listen to them. Understand them. Spending a little time with someone shows that you care and how important enough they are in your life that youโve chosen to be by their side.
Joy of a being truly connected says even more. Your actions not your words spell out what your heart feels. Whateverโฆprobably Emma Watson was right in bringing โnestingโ back to fashion. Today clubbing is no longer an overwhelming idea, when youโre looking for real happiness.
Soโฆ go ahead. Tell jokes, crack each other up, do something funny and spontaneous. Having a blast of a time instantly and easily connects you with people. Your life would slow down a little but would give you a chance to come into your own.
The contentment wonโt be an excited kind of happiness. Itโll be more like being satisfied with what you have, whatever that is.
Let your belief drive your choices
There have been times through the years when I had cracked different assessments and was offered to be hired. But I simply couldnโt make peace with what was being offered or the services I was being asked to sell. Yes, the money was great, but money alone doesnโt make one happy. Saying no at that time felt like the best choice for my own personal happiness.
I couldnโt say much for everybody but making a choice that does not align to your core values will always leave you frustrated. At one point of time I was even thinking of getting healthier; pretty soon I was also filled with ideas to grow my own veggies in the backyard, hunt around for non GMP wheat and bake my own pizza bread! Of course I had to reel myself back in and focus on one single choice that brought about an actual change for me. I resolved never to trade anything on whims but weigh in my beliefs before picking.
Living life in a way that lined up with my values and beliefs was my choice to happiness. Today I feel more accomplished and more excited to set and reach other purposes.
Image source: ‘Watch and Pray’ by Tyrone Yarde in lifehopeandtruth.com
Too often we are not focused on our surroundings and unwittingly miss all the fun and joy which is right there. We wish the week away in anticipation of weekend partying, only to spend it preoccupied with thoughts of Monday blues not knowing that happiness is to be found here and now, not yesterday, not tomorrow!
When we wish our real life to be perfectly planned, propped and prepared like Pinterest images, we let our happiness slip our hands. Donโt let that happen to you and remember real life is awesome.
Make your move and trust me in New Year youโll be happier and enjoy life more!
If you think that life is meant to make us feel good all the time then you’ve got happiness all wrong.
Sure we have been raised to avoid emotions that make us uncomfortable and fight shy of feelings that are painful and meant not to be felt. But donโt we crumble at the first signs of stress only because we have learnt to be pain averse all the time?
Why is it so hard to be happy when it is what we all want?
Sometimes we think of happiness as something that happens to us naturally. Yet itโs often jinxed! There is always something to be disappointed about our past that would make us struggle. Unable to shrug off, we let our worst fears overtake our will to be happy. This is when we jump at blaming the situation weโre in. “If only things were different, then I’d be happy.”
Only thatโs not how happiness really works! Worse! if youโre born with a grumpy side and bad temper, itโs highly likely that you will never get past living frayed tempers, some bad blood and frequent blow ups.
I wasnโt born an upbeat person either!
I never took myself to be a sprightly bouncy person; I never was and nothing helped me either to tell myself; โAinโt I borne happyโ? As I grew up, gloom darkened. โWhere does most of the happiness that everybody is talking about come from?โ Iโd often go nuts. โIf Iโd ever want to be happier, is it possible to get there?โ
For me happiness meant more than a yellow smiley mocking weirdly. I wanted it to be my โsecret sauceโ to help me to be and do my best. It meant living and enjoying the goose bump moments; it meant luxuriating and indulging life to the very best. It meant letting positive vibes do good things to me and perk up my brain and body.
Like most of us, I too was struck with the idea of being happy. I had so many different ideas about what it is and how to get it, though none seemed hands-on then. Naive and unmindful and left with little choices, I looked for ways to a more positive outlook before everything grew stale and miserable and unhappy!
Here are five of the best ones I found helpful.
Image source: ’10 best inspirational videos’ by Joe Mechlinski in shiftthework.com on Mar.01, 2021.
Faking smile worsen everything-let go of it!
When everything was going downhill and nothing seemed doing well for me, strangely I felt little or no pity for myself for the rut I was in. Nothing would seem right to take the edge off my despair. Since I couldnโt do much, I simply endured self doubts and slogged.
It took me some time to figure out that a smile that happens all because of positive thoughts, has the ability to rekindle moods and would make me withdraw less.
I gave it a try!…
A bright cheerful one actually made me feel good. It lifted my spirits, raised my attentional flexibility and I would no longer worry much in upsetting situations.
Suddenly I was seeing the whole forest rather than just the trees.
Image source: getty images
Today, forcing a smile even when I donโt want to is enough to lift my mood and that surprisingly feels fine!
Go outside โ Fresh air would brighten your day!
I guess Shawn Achor in โHappiness advantage‘ did share some pretty good news for those of us who worry so much about fitting new habits into already-busy schedules to make their lives easier and happier. Betting on better life experiences, his recommendation of 20 minutes is never short enough time to spend outside; something that you could fit into your commute or even lunch break!
I make time to go outside every day and spend 20 odd minutes in good weather. It elevates my mood, broadens thinking and cheers up my working memory. I am substantially happier when outdoors in all natural environments than when slugging around in urban territory.
And thereโs more to it!
Did you know that ‘Happiness maximizes outdoors at 13.9 Celsius‘? That’s awesome! But then you simply have to live it to believe that. Itโs fascinating what a small change in temperature and 20 minutes of fresh air can do to our well being.
For now Iโve stopped living my fears. I flatter myself with brief pep moments when I go outside with crisp fresh air gently hugging me. I always find it happier outside. Early summer morning or a warm sunny wintry afternoon works just as fine for me.
Hang around with friends and family & fix your woes!
Togetherness and reaching out to family and friends is perhaps one of the top five regrets that most people take to their deathbeds. I never wanted to perish with a wish so gross. So I looked around for a lifeline and oddly was awestruck by the way Daniel Gilberts-a happiness expert– had spelled it out.
โ We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friendsโ.
Like love affinity means something different every time we say it. Itโs what a acquaintance isnโt. You may find good mature ones but they donโt really last long or get you good deep rooted connections.
The cue worked darn well for me! Iโm no whizz person but opening up to family and friends was enough to light up a smile in my life.
Seeโฆ spending time in social circles becomes highly valuable when it comes to improving our happiness! It makes a big difference to how we perceive happiness. Nothing else could actually buy us those pearly moments of happiness.
Plan trips but donโt take one!
This sounds crazy but as opposed to actually taking a holiday, planning for one or just a small break from work, tweaks our happiness. In fact the latter spikes during the planning stage of a vacation as the sense of anticipation simply turns exhilarating.
Not many of us may have the luxury of long holidays. Worse, scuttled weekends are grumpier. So, if you cannot take the time for a vacation or even a night out with friends, put something on calendar- even if itโs a month or a year down the road.
Then โฆ whenever youโre feeling miserable and lost and need a boost of happiness to get over your woes, remind yourself of all the good things that are going to happen to you in a short while.
Even a small push that could light up your mood is worth a try! Iโm sure youโll feel stoked and happier afterwards.
Rewire your brain to stir up a lasting sense of happiness
When Ani Tenzin Palmo-an English woman who spent 12 years in a cave in Tibet quipped; โWe do not know what a thought is, yet weโre thinking them all the timeโ;perhaps she had not fully understood the neural bases of states like happiness, gratitude, resilience, love, compassion and so forth. Donald Hebb- a Canadian scientist, put this in a better way; โNeurons that fire together, wire togetherโ. What this literally means that with proper practice we can trick our neural machinery to build up a positive state of mind!
The fact that we can actually alter the way our brain works through meditation was a big surprise to me. It somewhat reassured me of what I already knew but could hold on to; “We feel and think today isnโt permanent”. Every thought of attempting to raise levels of happiness thereafter would be just as overwhelming.
Image source: Getty images.
Geezโฆtoday, in the minutes following meditation, what I experience is epic. Calmness and heightened awareness is what comes after this dazzling cytokine storm of positivity.
I certainly love to be happier, as Iโm sure most of you too. But much as it is interesting, it is no surprise that different people have different ideas about how to get it. The truth is that happiness doesnโt occur by chance; itโs a constant choice, we have to make every second of every day.
I’m sure someday you too will just as well find peace and happiness at will and celebrate life as you ever wanted to.
In 1975 Eric Carmen had given us that beautiful immortal number,โAll by myself, donโt want to be all by myself.โ It sounded distant and obscure then but it cut through the isolating thoughts that had ruffled my mind for long and upset my nerves. It was perhaps much later I could realize I had found a way to stay connected to myself. Life felt faring much better when I decided to get surrounded by truly good people.
Interestingly it is only now decades later, I could fully understand that togetherness is an optimistic joyous emotion which helps us to shrug off the confining thoughts that would otherwise always keep tormenting us. It calms our nerves and gives room to see more options than we normally would. The only dew eyed part is that once connected to somebody, itโs harder to think of the times bereft of each other.
No matter how eagerly we may wish otherwise and try to avoid this, we could never escape our share of heartbreaks.I guess so long as our heart beats, itโs vulnerable to crushing teary blues invariably. Itโs only a matter of time before it gets wounded.
Still the idea of being alone, broken hearted and in anguish is not always seen as a good thing. Too often when emotionally devastated, instead of confronting the shattering awkwardness of loneliness, despair would silently lead us further into the sink hole. Does this means that none of two experiences are mutually exclusive? Should being broken hearted necessarily mean a stormy screwed up life ahead?
Getting to the point where you enjoy being alone and I dare say happy too- is one powerful choice that is very rewarding once youโre comfortable in it. A boat load of science also shows that keeping the head above water is one remarkable way to rough out the tough times. It leaves us much happier, healthier and more successful.
In that sense, growing to know yourself in grief and bitterness, is the first step to learn how to win over your misery and smile again.
Here are three simple ways to just get that!
Image source: ‘6 things you need to know to succeed with Instagram collaborations’ in blog.inzpireme.com on Ap.21, 2021.
Fix whatโs failed
Many of us think we already know ourselves perhaps more than we want to, but most of what we know is probably who we really are and not who we should be or shouldnโt be. Few would argue that not every intervention could solve logjams in life each time they happen. Heartbreaks are inevitable and they’d continue to remind us of our limits.
Many a times, youโd go up to the roof top, cry and look up at the stars, argue bitterly with the silence around you about the unfairness of everything; but in time we all surrender to our grieves.
This is when youโve given in to sadness; a faint urge to reclaim and get back to life frenetically urges you to react. This is the moment when you begin to recover and tell yourself โI must move onโ. But there is no happiness if you choose to remain wrapped up in yourself. You are one among countless of those whose heart gets wounded in some way each day.
Going down into the company of genuinely fine people and indulging in the comforting warmth of a companion- who makes it easy for you to believe in yourself- is a sure sign that youโve found a way to blow-off your steam. Finally youโre among those whoโd truly stand up for you and embolden you to go on living…more enriched and warm and loving.
Have no doubts, youโll find happiness right under your nose!
Forget quiet quitting? Youโll draw a blank.
What Warren Buffet meant when he said that your overall happiness in life comes down to four simple words; โDo what you love โ if you want to start it all over again; it might have sounded like a battle cry to many. But when you do what you love, an alignment occurs between your heart and head and your values and the things that bring you purpose. Just as you cannot have purpose without passion, the desire for change becomes inevitable. With โyour badโ caving in, the wounded heart heals quickly.
Speaking of it, sometimes doing what you do, fails you. It sucks but there is not much you can do about it. Take stress to turn things your way and it would make you go limp again. This is when an escape to creative pursuits is your deliverance. Doing simple things like music, dance writing, drawing or even drama lends an emotional vent to a distraught mind. If you canโt think of anything right away, a tutorial to acquire newer skills and knowledge or an on-line course of interest will revive you within to reach better ends.
Lookโฆwhen you do what you love most, there’s a high likelihood that youโll be distracted from turmoil within and nothing would hurt the same any more. You’ll wake up each morning knowing lots of stuff is broken and more is about to break but nothing would tear through you any longer. Everything under the sun would look just fine.
So, take a step back and let the life happen!
Want to live your best? Stop being dragged down!
Relationships that do not begin or end well often make us underestimate how much lifeโs turns and twists could take out of our control. But the inexorable truth is that we all are blessed with an incredible ability to bounce back from even the hardest splits and each time give a wonderful flip to it.
โI wish I could go back in the past and make things turn out differentlyโ; โI donโt know how to cope up with when everythingโs falling apartโ. Thoughts like these might do a million runs a day in your head with no clarity in sight and the shame of screwed-up situation would keep returning as rage.This is when collapse needs to be counteracted.
Begin the unhinging and find ways to hold the self together.
Building a relationship with yourself is a good start. It involves getting to know yourself, as much youโd want of anybody else. When we spend time focusing on ourselves, we acknowledge and could assess the loss up to this point only. So, all youโd need to do is to keep reminding yourself; โputting myself first is after all a healthy move!
Small flames always burn strong and bright. Hiking or walk out in the woods or chronicling your day, is a good start of your personal journey to love yourself. The emotional release that follows will be a completely authentic moment when you can listen to your broken heart, nurse it and mend everything quickly and find a more meaningful pursuit in life.
Image source: ‘The realisation that changed my life’ by TNN/Spardha Pandey in timesofindia.indiatimes.com on Oct.26, 2018.
Next time when a sense of loneliness threatens you; your heart begins to pound with anxiety and thunders of hopelessness begin to rush through veins clouding your judgment; pause and take notice of all that thatโs happening around you. Never let go of the thought that your bad too will pass. Resist the need to judge everything happening to you; instead simply being curious or compassionate would reset your course to be happy again!
Maybe itโs a while before youโd grow a real connection with your new Wheelhouse, but quite truthfully pay-offs will be huge!
And someday youโll count yourself lucky to be whoever you are!
Why making a Life is more important than making a living!
Are you someone who absolutely loves heading to the Office every day? Or even if you donโt maybe youโre connected enough that you simply cannot resist showing up. You keep giving your all unceasingly; sometimes murdering yourself, all the time hoping that this turns out to be your best bet at acing everybodyโs attention and getting taller professionally.
I guess, people who fit in this category are unwittingly married to their jobs and often are set out as โliving to workโ.
If youโre a Zoomer, you know what itโs like; the excitement of being resourceful, independent and liberal is overwhelming, way better than the dudes from Gen-X might have experienced. Youโre the perfect portrayal of a deep seated personal connection to the work that you do for a fat pay-check. Perhaps you believe that success happens only to those who have an allโround desire and true commitment to work. Youโre not unaware as well that this runs the risk of compromising health and quality of life outside work place.
Yet on the flip side, many choose to separate the idea of โdoing what I loveโ from โIโll do what I must to make a livingโ. For them it like โdiscovering a long lost passionโ; so foreign and yet entirely removed from reality where work is what you do and not who you are!
Speaking of which, do you take on more work than you must? Are you putting in more hours than you ought to? When is the time to quietly start doing less to the extent that it appears not quitting after all?
How bad is too much of a good thing?
Living to work for most of us is like crossing the fine line between being occupied and being eaten-up by work. Your work life balance is at risk when you let disproportionate amount of your time and energy spent on your career.
People, who live to work count heavily on work for thrills and kicks and shut out other sources of joy and happiness. Whatโs worse, addicted to the adrenaline that comes from solving a crisis or tying self-worth to work, these people would often find themselves on the fast track to burnout.
See…over engagement is never free of its perils. With time, distraught work-life balance takes its toll. Your ability to handle stress is impaired and your overall well being gets affected. And more often than not, you wonโt be to see it because youโre moving so fast, completely absorbed in the reality that youโve created โ knowingly or not.
So whatโs the point?
Image source: ‘7 ways to reduce work-related stress’ by Neil Spooner in resetmindbodysoul.co.uk on Oct. 08, 2020.
When you fail to find the โjust rightโ level of engagement, you live your life on one extreme or the other always struggling to find the right kind of work-life balance.
But the grass is not greener for those either who consider doing little less at work, re prioritize work versus life or refuse to take a bigger chew than the oneโs mandated or must.
Hell yes of course!…When you work to live, you miss out on that rich sense of fulfillment that only a meaningful pursuit brings forth.
Did I miss something?
The 10 hour work day -like so many people I braced for 30 long years, -never ever for once went out of fashion. It stood firm then and itโs as stoic today except that nowadays itโs your call how to balance everything in the new age. The strings were as tight then as they are now.
Jinxed and marred with bad breaks, I spent an entire lifetime slogging to build a career and in the process woefully destroyed part of me. I kept judging whether it was of any worth at all, despite knowing all the while that in reality I couldnโt โundoโ or โrebootโ anything. I had no widget, no push button…none other than a blue sky above and some wishful thinking. I yearned for one. So many things I wouldโve loved to rescript for a better tomorrow! Of course, there was always another tactical choice at hand; โDo it the new way. Thiscertainly was a flattering option and like everybody else my age, I was gullible. I fell for it and chose to use it.
The thought of shaping a better life and a taller me never felt fictional then.
I know Iโve never been great at work and I have struggled long enough trying to figure out why I wasnโt fine and famous at it. I would usually end up comparing myself to friends and rivals who have been fervently neck deep in work and have made some great careers and good living out of it.
Itโs only after so many years of imperfections and wanting, I could discover that I was in fact truly happy, living my life doing what I wanted to do- endeavoring, indulging and battling! Sometimes winning at others loosing, yet never letting myself forget the battles that I survived.
I had chosen to work what I โcould doโ and not what I โwanted to doโ.
If only I had known then what I know now, maybe I could have had both of them a lot sooner- โliving a great life and making a living the way I love mostโ.
I would let the life happen!
Life is short and full of shifts and ebbs and flows. You just canโt exist to make a living. Itโs more than about living decentlyโฆ ordinarily! We all deserve more and entitled to a life full of joy and happiness.
And who said itโs too late to flatter yourself?
I know how important is to earn for a good living. But you can make a living and still make a life! Itโs all about perspective; about whom you love most; you as a person or as a pen pusher. With pliable mindset and a bit of allowance for wise adjustments you could let the real troubleshooter in you make life deep and smiling.
Image source: ‘Live to work or work to live? 72 per cent of Brits go to work just to get by’ by Owen Gough in smallbusiness.co.uk on Dec.08, 2017.
Of course, โworking to live โor โliving to workโ arenโt the only choices available. Itโs absolutely possible to put the two shoes together and yet walk on sunshine. Breaking away from either of the two could though actually help you find a breezy life-work balance in a hurry.
Seriously, sometimes taking a few steps back โ or a few steps forward โ breaks the barrier standing between you and the life you have painted for yourself!
True to its name โThe small plateโ seemed quite literally tucked away with a signage that was so easy to miss behind a thicket of trees in my residential neighborhood. Truly foolish of me but I had grown a silly fondness for this charming tuck away cafรฉ. At a stoneโs throwaway distance, this quaint little bistro offered a mini range of sandwiches and loads of savory delights adorned the shelves to partner the evening chai.
But like any typical teenybopper, I was all eyes only for that delicious spicy potato stir fry roast, sizzling hot scrumptious samosas and delightful warm pesto chili cheese oozing of a racy and peppery sweetness. Some yummy great tasting that was! Cooling off the after-zing with a scoop of a hazelnut ice cream or a sip of a freshly made warm brew of cappuccinoโฆwell! Who could ever think up of anything to outdo this crunch of an evening straight out of an ASMR video? No! I certainly wouldnโt have missed that for anything.
Geez! That place was my Xanadu; one exotic luxury Iโd set my heart on.
Fast forwardโฆ
Twenty years later I dearly miss my post-card perfect moments of rainy afternoons and sultry evenings, hanging around and spending most of the time straddling my favorite creaky four legged wooden barstool in the cafรฉ; that tingling aftertaste of chili cheese, the warm balmy smell of crumbly croissants straight out of wood fired oven, the gushing flavors of hot heavenly samosas dripping of mint tamarind chutney, the tantalizing smell of turmeric sourdough toast with a generous dollop of butter and the towering glass of hot chocolate all whipped up thick with pure Belgian chocolate; every memory is a torment!
Itโs so hard to forget those bang-up times!
But then like everything else, there is always a good time to ditch frizzles and fries and move on to healthy yummy snacks, especially when craving for munchies hits mid day or when you think youโve run out of choices to side with your evening cuppa chai!
Like everybody else, the moment clock strikes 5 in the evening my gut starts groaning and makes grumpy noises. Despite knowing the ill effects of fried snacks, I am tempted and fantasize of warm fried rice and chili potato platter; far from what anybody would wish for health goals. But unlike what you may think, I always choose to suffer. A heavy sigh and all thoughts of a finger licking luxury of sumptuous brownies or that self-destroying flash fried crackling high food are set aside.
Yet, I do not put the shutter down on my evening snacks and still enjoy them with a hot cup of tea!
So, if not the fried cutlets or chili potatoes, then, whatโs there for me to eat?
Well, hereโre five healthy low cal yummy snacks, laden with a number of nutrients and health benefits that like me you can add to your โeve-noshโ without worrying about upsetting your waist line.
Luscious, mouth-watering! Dig in and youโll thank me for the heads up.
Sautรฉed Sprouts, Corn and Peas Chaat
A rainbow bowl filled with fresh chopped veggies and paired with sautรฉed sprouts, corn and peas seasoned with that funky, salty, spicy sour blend of chaat masala, invites you to an umami like intensity, inexplicable depth and complexity. Adding overnight soaked chickpeas gives the dish a heavily nutritious punch! Throw in the veggies you love most; chopped cucumber, tomatoes, onions, olives and jalapeรฑo, just about anything from your crisper is all you need to transform this catchy bite into a perfect tea time snack.
The heart of this delight though, I must say lies with the otherworldly blend of spices. Mysterious and forceful, it may smell somewhat alarmingly like rotten eggs to some, but the effect it has on your bowl or even a sandwich, a piece of fruit, a salad dressing and a million other things, is simply divine.
Fire-toasted masala Papadam
Simply super tasty and super quick, this is one guilt free anytime snack that would leave your mouth zinging with aft-flavors. Made with pulses and flour, the low cal Papad is high in fiber and protein and works similar to a probiotic, promoting growth of good bacteria and improving digestion by whipping up digestive juices and enzymes which are essential for metabolism.
Finely chopped veggies like tomatoes and onions adorning it, have high water content and carry Vitamin C, Vitamin K, folate, potassium. Antioxidant properties of tomatoes reduces the risk of cancer and several heart diseases. Onions help control blood sugar levels, boost up bone density and have antibacterial properties.
Seasonings like asafetida, cinnamon, black pepper and allspice are a great help in abdominal pain, bloating, gastric problems and digestion and reduces chances of stomach infections.
Baked Kachori
If youโre the one with a bent for a bit of wet and wintry weather, well…then letโs say cravings for fried food is bound to torment you every so often. And if you could ride out the elements wouldnโt you love to nosh on hot samosas or flaming fritters?
Often looked-upon as one of the best-loved snacks to side a cup of hot tea, this baked delight on the other side, is a perfect lip smacking body bloom choice when gently pattering rains have sneaked in or when a foggy dank wintery evening finds you in a sullen mood.
Baked kachori is guilt free healthy twist to otherwise gettable deep fried bites that beckon ย so invitingly. Beans, peas, lentils, nuts, seeds and whole grains; just about every one of them bring the right fiber-rich luxuriance to your platter to help you win over your belly fat quickly.
Made with whole wheat flour and stuffed with coarsely grinded skinless black gram lentil and spices like chili, coriander, fennel and much more, baked kachori is unmistakably a super delectable combination of both health and taste.
Pair it up with your dip and savor the difference!
Beetroot Kebab
Image source: ‘Beetroot Kebabs’ by Neha in mymasalabox.in on Feb.06, 2021.
If you think healthy food canโt be tasty then this crispy beetroot kebab will change your mind. Crunchy, smoky and made with kidney beans and beets pairing velvety yellow mustard dip, beetroot kebabs are meant to leave you strung out. A perfect appetizer and powerhouse of energy, these kebabs are a definite showstopper at the tea table! Brimming with antioxidants, kebabs hardly have any calories and not only they look gorgeously inviting; they super quick to make! Some food processor action, a bit of stop top roasting and youโve served yourself a veggie fare thatโs loaded with spicy, tangy and savory flavors!
Put together with a creamy yellow-brown silk smooth mustard dip and thereโs just no better match!
Puffed Rice Bhel
Image source: ‘Bhel Puri – An Indian street food and tea time snack; by Archana Doshi in archanaskitchen.com on Nov.28, 2007.
Tangy and spice, this yum low calorie snack is a super addictive phenomena of papadis, puffed rice, sev, onions, potatoes, raw mango and chutneys packing a mรฉlange of unparallel flavors and textures.
Typically made with dry cereal, fresh chopped vegetables, lemon juice and peanuts; simple but sensational chutneys beef up the zing of this mouthwatering crunchy โbeach snackโ that would also happen to bring a wholesome evening delight straight to your table. More often youโll find bhel puri with two chutneys-a sweet tamarind one and spicy green chutney. But actually itโs the red pungent garlic paste that reconstructs the whole pot-pourri to an irresistible medley of flavors!
You could build on an extra crunch to this light snack by adding some roasted walnuts or sesame seeds!
Seriously… be it a racy morning or a lazy tea and crumpets evening, donโt we all just love a cup of chai as aft-brew for that instant gratification? Chai is not just a beverage; itโs an emotion that sets everything right away. Pair it with one of the most loved lip smacking healthy light crunchy snack and youโre spoilt for options.
Andโฆyou donโt wreak havoc on your wellness, if you know how to stick to a healthy and clean eating.
Now that youโve learned a bit of everythingโฆgo ahead; flatter yourself!
Ever since Tom Peters lured his way into the workspace of millions of career workers and professionals by reimagining the way โpersonal brandingโ works; business speaks, love to hate pep talks at lunch breaks and crazy hashtags swarming the inter-web; all have buckled to โpersonal imageโ as something to be reckoned with. Itโs no longer about the lettering or labeling alone; itโs our own sense of worth that has come to matter. โThe Brand Called you in 1997โ, โThe Start-Up of Youโ; why else would bookshelves today brandish neatly stacked up advices on how to maximize your personal branding, become an influencer and above all stand tall in the crowd? However, they need not perplex you if you are mindful enough of gulf between an advice and a warning โฆ
Soโฆare you really your own self at work? Have you been good at balancing your different Worlds? Are you the one for whom there is always a sharp divide between work and home lives? โฆand interestingly, donโt you want to keep it that way knowing well that youโd never ever be free of hiatuses?
Itโ Ok to be yourself. Each one of us is way different in how we cope with our experiences. Some of us manage well and grow; others struggle and often sink. But either way there are moments of downside in between for all of us and itโs not impossible to become too risk-averse about the same time. Itโs as difficult to hide a part of you and hesitate to rub shoulders freely. Because doing so would mean masking a part of you all the time and โฆthat can be gross and very tiring. Cloak yourself at work, and you prevent others to reach out to you fully!
My understanding of this ball game is rather plain sailing; itโs a simple confection of three infamous anomies- frequent gut wrenching feeling of being overworked, underpaid and usually underrated! And, if you couldnโt belt-tighten forever, it sure is a tough call for you to constantly climb uphill.
This is when, I guess you fall prey to the harsh side of plutocracy and obviously wonโt do well at achieving high value โendsโ. And when that happens…
Nothing beats that creepy cold dislike for everything around you and awful urge to bite the hand that feedsyou; especially when you know that youโve been good at work and yourself all the time. The ambush doesnโt stop here! You get tired and sick of being asked to do extra tasks outside your normal position because youโre eyed as the โexpertโ or โbestโ but have little or no heart for it?
Seriouslyโฆ.itโs time to put an end to this everyday insanity and do something to feel highly valued than taken advantage of. Nothing earth shattering of course! But if you wish to try your hand at something worthwhile to bring in a positive change in your life, check out with these three life altering choices. Heaven knows, you might ease your way into the castle without being loud or messy and without being hung out to dry!
The habit of acceptance unclogs
Image source: ’10 side gigs you can do from home’ by Alison Doyle in thebalancecareers.com on Aug.10, 2022.
If you are a stickler to rules with a bent to fight the things you canโt change, then I guess youโre to blame for all your sorrows that keep hurting you all the time. Itโs simpleโฆthe more time you spend trying to change uncontrollable situations in your life, the more you get scammed by anger and stress and youโre never future ready.
It sucks! but this is how it works. Stay trussed up with a fiery mix of emotions, everything anywhere would feel schmuck. Nothing would seem to happen quick and easy.
All screwed up? Not to worryโฆthereโs always a way to fit-in! Just remind yourself that the world never backs off whenever things go south for you. And at the end of the day, itโs your share of scares that brings you cold feet!
Yet, I think itโs Ok to be mindful โฆyou taking all the responsibility for everything happening around you. Awesome!… you might be an instant hit in a population minority. Still, if you feel gutted and dismay tugs at your heart, then in all probability youโve missed out one final chapter in your work book; acceptance.
Rancid and unsavory sometimes, one good thing about it is that it really changes your life. And one bad thing is its works differently for each one of us. But one thing about it is conclusive. If you could figure out how to weigh-in your choices, it would get you one step closer to being warm and alive again!
Simply learn to unlearn the habit of non-acceptance. Stop identifying with the things you arenโt accepting. Stay close to reality. It would bail you out of most uncertainties. Your willingness to experience things as they are, instead of insisting that they be as you want them to be, is what will bring the change. And knowing that โeverything is or can be temporaryโ would help in becoming special.
No need to die a thousand deaths
Image source: ‘Prioritise yourself, set boundaries: Effective ways to deal with burnout at work’in economictimes.indiatimes.com on Jul.18, 2022.
Sometimes when you’re wading through tough times, you get so distracted and lost that you canโt see straight. Emotions overwhelm and perspectives cloud. You get vulnerable all the more when the fight between โold school style brassโ and your attempts at building โpersonal brandingโ turns intense. It hurtsโฆliterally everybody!
This is when you need to step back and look deeper at your situation subtly from outside; somewhat more like a โa fly on the wallโ or “a lone passerby on the street“. You will get the much needed objectivity to overcome your negative thoughts. A long list of problems might have left you jittery, but few moments of emotional distancing will make you feel better and outshine the crowd in the right way at the right time.
Just be willing to let go of all that once was!
Genuine connections are comforting
Image source: ‘ What does it mean to โbe yourselfโ at work?’ by Tim Eisenhauer in axerosolutions.com
No matter what weโre doing, we always feel better when we do it with others. Our brains are wired like that. Social bonding is irrefutably the most crucial shot in the arm for determining our happiness. It helps in taking care of ourselves and builds trust.
In work life, it happens rather differently. The din, the outcry, the backlash just about everything becomes a natural barrier to trusting each other. It simply wouldnโt let you connect with others.
When that happens it becomes difficult to forge a meaningful association with a person who is in fact someone different than the personality youโre seeing? And to rake up some trust over that? Well! thatโs some raw asking!
Feature credits: ‘โHow to succeedโ by Mr Monk in YouTube.com on Dec.20, 2013.
Incredibly! โฆlegit or otherwise, bosses and managers think differently and are cold eyed about how to lead and manage without being vulnerable or revealing their more authentic self. Maybe this is what Robert Reichโs ‘harsh form of capitalism’ is all about.
All the same, if you feel trapped, vilified and find yourself struggling with too many things at the same time, you might be injuring yourself thinking ill all the time. Bail yourself out by creating your own brand; one that is truly personal. Of course youโre in charge of how much you reveal, but let people around you have enough of a glimpse to let them truly connect, understand and engage with the real you. Surely we grow by building for scale and not by aggregating it to someone else’s advantage.
Honestly, itโs your turn now to bone up your take on a struggle that in fact is not real.
Consider everything else non-negotiable when it comes to taking care of yourself.
Are you someone who feels like having denied enough fun? That for some reason you never have had a happier more fulfilling successful life? Even a boat load of playfulness wouldnโt help to shake off a pretty boring life and youโre always looking for fun outside of you!
Image source: ’10 simple habits for a successful and happy life’ by Jeff Bell in moneyinc.com on Sep.27, 2018.
If thatโs you, then in all probability fun is like the exact opposite of work to you; the party is no longer living within you and you couldnโt have fun anywhere.
Simply put youโre not a fun person anymore!
Fun isnโt frivolous but it can actually help you to be not only happier but more successful at work as well. In short it isnโt just a pleasant distraction from the serious business of living. In an uncertain world where stress rides piggy back all the time, holding on to a sense of playfulness can be hard.
Keeping on top of all serious responsibilities of adulthood and still hoping to make room for fun moments in life?…well, not everyone has the โfun mindsetโ or the ability to negotiate conflict, build empathy and let off a crazy LOL. With no fun around to motivate, you might never outlive a poker faced person! But if you could manage it the Einstein wayโฆ I mean learn faster, work furiously and be successful like never before, may be you could manage few more moments of it.
And yet, we think having fun isnโt an option and let years of not having it reinforce this belief.
So, if youโre wondering where to begin and how to become a fun person to bring out all the mirth and gaiety that has lived inside you holed up, but hasnโt seen the light of the day for a while, hereโre a few tips to beat the blues off.
I begin my day by remembering what Iโm grateful for
Being thankful and appreciative is perhaps the easiest way to change tracks from despair and hopelessness to cheerfulness and some great expectations. Each morning I set aside a few wakeful moments to feel obligated for all the goodness that has happened to me. It reminds me of all that is exciting in life and encourages me to build on them.
Believe me, itโs a phenomenal way to start the day!
Instead of scrolling on Insta or surfing the net mindlessly while having my morning cup of tea, I pull out my old crinky journal and write down 10 good things that have happened to me and make me feel thankful for; being precise or detailedโฆit doesnโt matter.
It works as a reminder of what happy times Iโve experienced. Everything else fades into background. BestโฆI keep a spitting image of this note at the back of my mind throughout the day.
And trust me, it works!…it helps to relieve stress. It helps to forget the struggles that I lost. But it also helps to relive the ones that I won!
Image source: ‘How to be happy: 27 habits to add to your routine’ in healthline.com.
Being easy with fun is exciting!
How many times have you felt like you life has run out of control? Despair and gloom overshadows everything else.
Mastering it though is what would let you back in control of yourself and make the most of every opportunity!
But โฆhow to go about it?
I think we all are open to making changes in our lives if that could make us happier and more successful. A few of us follow the humor route though. The easiest way to have more of it … I think is not to try to be funny but look for good moments to laugh.
Laughter comes at a price but has more a benefit unto itself. The more open you are to laughter the more attractive you’ll be both to other people and to yourself.
Sometimes saying “yesโ works- best!
You may have heard of this โฆ it could make a fun magnet out of you and turn you into a charming, fanciful and amusing person. All it amounts to is greeting new ideas with enthusiasm and building a few of your own.
You don’t need to be a slapstick jester to be good at this. Instead begin by choosing not to shoot down other peopleโs ideas but to build on them and make them feel inclusive.
Being adaptive and open would mean youโve become less of a wet blanket.
Image source: ‘This One Thing Can Help You Live A Longer And Happier Life, Science Says’ by Alexa Mellardo in eatthis.com on Jan.20, 2022.
Nothing betters loving yourself
If you want to a happier fun filled life, donโt chase anything- not even happiness. It doesnโt come nearly as easily to those either who constantly pursue it!
There is another more simple easier way to unlock true happinessโฆ
Making time each day to do things just for you, has an euphoric effect on the way you feel about yourself and the world happening around you. Morning or nightโฆdoing things dear to you will make you more relaxed and will leave you with something to look forward to. These things donโt have to be over the top or grand or glorious; anything as simple as taking half an hour each morning to read your favorite story book or going for a stroll or a short nimble walkโฆcan you think of anything to better this shot at self care!
Allowing yourself to experience your best emotions-whatever they may be-is your best bet to enhance your happiness.
Gestures speak better than badass words!
You do know how a dog when it wants to play raises its butt, prances around and wags its tail. No words uttered and yet it lets you know what it wants!
I think we should all master the human equivalent of this amazing canine act. A brief eye contact, a wry smile or perhaps an unintentional comment never intended to strike a conversation, might lit the spark. Not much Iโd say when it comes to sending out play signals but even a sarcasm sometimes works. โNice weather here!โ even when youโre experiencing one of the worst snowstorm in recent times, might just be the right shot to make a hit.
Seeโฆ finding a way to look up from your phone and making a point, howsoever irrelevant, is surely a wonderful way to invite perky conversations โand finally more fun in your life! Even if youโre shy, introverted or a person with more on serious side, discovering the secret to having more fun is never any less exciting!
Feature credits: ‘When Nobody’s Watching’ by Klick in YouTube.com on Dec.08, 2020.
Nobody is perfect at this and lifeโs not always rainbows and ice creams for everybody, but whatever we choose to think and how we decide to view themโฆthe stories we tell ourselves; just about everything becomes a part of our longing to build up a more joyous and happier life.
And itโs never been about just sitting back and letting life happen to youโฆ
Julian Danielly of Aladan Corp. never over rated the bourses swings or market pulse. The upbeat outlook later was to make him emerge as a global leader in latex gloves and durex manufacturing.
Image source: ‘Lucky Numbers and Science’ by Heiko Dudzus in assertnotmagic.com
And it didnโt happen accidentally.
One in a million lucky breaks!
Wellโฆthe only piece of luck, if you may call it, happened when he got fired by his previous employer Ansell Corp in August 1986! He had a harrowing time finding buyers for the ugly duckling of items coming out of his own stable in early years of struggle but eventually could strike a good deal with Aussies who wanted to enter the U.S. market in a hurry.
Does this mean that luck smiled or hurt him by chance alone? Has it got nothing to do with his choices or efforts? If luck is that real in deciding our everyday fate, what about the truth that everything fell his way more out of grind than luck happening as an accident?
Speaking of it, donโt we incorrectly use the word luck to avoid taking responsibilities for our choices? We consider ourselves lucky; if we are born healthy and able bodied; if we have a perfect weather on our day off; if a stranger buys us a coffee and compliments with a โhave a nice day.โ; if we put a dime in a slot machine and win a jackpot bonus; all such things happening truly benefit us and yet are completely out of our control.
On the contrary, what we consider bad luck is what harms us by chance. We feel unlucky, when we get a flat on our way to work; when our flight gets cancelled and we sit for six long hours at airport hoping to get a seat in the next one, worse still may be at the back of the plane next to a hollering baby. In fact, the upshot of completely out-of-control event makes us feel unlucky, dejected and perhaps angry!
What when it comes to money?
If Randy Schuttโs- a long-time progressive activist and researcher- unforgiving illustration of unequal luck is to be believed then when it comes to money, fate does matter quite a bit!. The idea that hard work is all thatโs needed for health, wealth and happiness, is all a blind caper! โThe Chancy Islands: A Land of Equally Capable People But With Unequal Luckโ explains just how much of dumb luck, bit of a chance and slice of encouraging circumstances can play monkey in โwho becomes wealthy and who stays poorโ!
Beaten down by the everyday dismal science of bread and butter, most of us consider ourselves lucky if we could manage enough to get by; very lucky if weโre doing well and extremely lucky if weโre super rich.
But to ride the circumstances and become wealthy!…well, thatโs usually not true. Some people amass huge wealth even in face of random shocks of accidents, disasters and windfall fortunes. Others continue to wallow into shortages and sleep rough without having done anything to deserve deprivation.
Tax the wealthy in popular ways and hope for eliminating long term equality! Wellโฆeconomic mobility does help those born in the bottom fifth of the wellness ladder to sweat their way up; but rebalancing the chances with choices is a lost dream for most people.
Itโs quirky and gets corrupted each time we try to rejig it!
Image source: pexels.com
Feeling lucky? Start counting your blessings
Ever wondered why so many gamblers risk a loss knowing well the odds of a win are against them? Is the belief that dice is โhotโ in a winning streak good enough for them to keep going? Why do we all expect heads on a coin toss next, after several flips have turned up tails each time? Is luck got something to do with it or is it simply a fickled mindโs illusion?
For most of us luck still matters-profoundly! As entertaining and informative as it is, our belief in it and the decrepit mindset of winning or losing an opportunity, never fails to sell us a million dollar bet on luck, each time we get the chance to ace it. Somebodyโs struck with catastrophic illness, anotherโs winning a jackpot; without a healthy dose of good luck, nothing meets success. We all know that but prefer to believe that we are more in control of our lives than we actually are.
That doesnโt mean that we give up or stop trying in the hope that luck would influence the random events that come our way; good or bad, one way or another! Thereโs a lot we can do to ensure that only the good one keeps flowing your way.
Everything is impossible until it isnโt!
For years altogether, I have taught myself to listen to the very first half awake thoughts in the morning. Itโs amazing! I always end up with list of things that I am grateful today. I am alive; I am happy and thereโs plenty of comforting things around me. People love me, mates respect me and friends admire meโฆ.so many good things are happening around me and there is so much to do in life.
Then thereโs of course a list of bad things that could have happened but didnโt. For that I thank myโฆgood luck for buying me yet another safe day.
Trust nobody but yourself; nothing would better your day than to start it by getting on the โfield of lifeโ and every time taking a swingfor the fences. I begin mine by giving it my best to stay alive and improve.
Image source: pexels.com
I believe, fortune never fails those who choose to give it their all.
Bad luck is real and so are bad choices!
Iโm so often struck by the way people talk of luckin everyday gossip as something that only hurts or benefits by chance; nobody talks much of choices. The truth is that most of us keep lying to ourselves by blaming luck for our misfortunes. And we do this frequently in situations or around people who would remind us of truth about ourselves without restraint.
So, to keep the good fortunes flowing your way; try hanging out with this naked truth; โLuck doesnโt get us to bourses- making money and thrive is a choice that nobody would ever let goโ.
Feature credits:’โLuck /Apple TV+โ in youtube.com on May13, 2022.
Life is full of randomness and is not obliged to give you what you expect. Pulling up each day and buckling down, to get more tailwinds than headwinds will make you covet your choices more than surreal luck.
When you want to spot a lie, listen for the word luck and when you get that, ask yourself; โIsnโt this only about avoiding taking responsibilities?โ
Clichรฉs aside, once youโve braced yourself enough to own the truth and wouldnโt pause for luck; you surely will get your chance at change.
Besides itโs never any good to bet on some crapshooter illusion!
Life is chaotic and sometimes awful things happen out of blue. And when that occurs, it feels like weโve been thrown for a loop. Pushing to edge, it infects all our waking hours with endless worries and mellows our happiness.
Image source: ‘7 Steps to Embracing Mind-Body Wholeness in the New Year’ by Deepak Chopra in chopra.com on Dec.19,2018.
Yet, instinctively we keep driving through, often surviving on adrenaline. We over schedule ourselves; we drink umpteen cups of coffee; we respond to one more e-mail; we stay amped all day believing that weโll eventually be able to set things straight and done. And in the way, we let ourselves burn recklessly.
Itโs rude and shockingโฆfor all that burning doesnโt do any good. Except that it overwhelms us and drowns all our happiness amidst the entire struggle. Misplaced trust, broken promises, blatant lies; just about everything stokes our sufferings.
Looking forward!
In this frantic world, happiness is like a friend you rarely have the chance to catch up with. But finding a moment of reassurance is never impossible. You may presume that you can find happiness when youโre finally completely free of troubles; but thatโs not how it works.
In fact it runs the other way around and isnโt as challenging as it seems.
Terrible things do happen to each one us at some point in life. When you are caught in the thick of things-whether itโs about a snappy senior or a brassy relative who donโt believe in boundaries or yet another viral video of a violent racist incident– youโre left stranded with mounting fears and have no clue how to handle it. Worse, rather than hoping for a better end, you come up with a snappy retort and a quick fix to quell your unease.
But would an irrational assumption and aggression be of any good? Like climate change wouldnโt that mean hurtling down a worm hole of offensive ends and no-win arguments?
So, if you feel you have no space for peace left with you, are terribly hurt or perhaps angry and looking for a smarter way-a calmer way to bring to you greater attention and ingenuity without shedding one bit of happiness…these three simple ways might just let you find your Zen in a world that seems anything but peaceful.
Image source: ‘Seven ways to rest’ by Sherryl Garratt in the creativelife.net on Dec.06, 2021.
Forgiveness is good
Feeling hurt, even angry is a forgivable response when you are wronged or treated unfairly. But holding on to slights doesnโt help in reclaiming happiness. They take up so much of your emotional energy and push your emotional wellness to the wall.
Forgiveness on the other hand, isnโt something that helps the person alone you forgive. It does even more for you in the end. Of course, itโs a long demanding emotion and goes beyond a simple, โI forgive youโ. Worse, sans compassion, it misses acceptance and would leave you mired in self blame and regret.
Regretting and trying to clean up the wrong on the other hand, is one good amend to begin with. Over the time, real good changes will happen to your behavior and Iโm sure you wonโt have to lie to your worrisome waking hours any more.
Find time for yourself
I find loneliness a mere normal state of mind that builds around relationships but desperately yens for sociability when abandoned.
While spending just the right amount of time with yourself is good for your emotional well being, excess of solitude can badly hurt your happiness over the time. Let it turn intense and it will become all consuming and wreck your everyday life. Your creative side will erode; you wonโt be able to re-evaluate your boundaries and above all you wouldnโt be able to connect with your needs.
When something terrible happens and stress overwhelms, we speculate about what wrong weโve done to cause bad luck. โI must have been wrong in standing up to myself. I created this mess for someone else and now it has double backed to me.” Itโs natural for you to think and regress then.
Correct this distortion if thatโs what is hurting you. Donโt wait to use your supports. They might help you see the problem differently, but deserting your nemesis and rebooting your mind to do away with ill thoughts is your personal need.
Catch them young and you could reclaim your happiness even while busy in your daily grind.
Get back to nature
Donโt we all head back to the trees (or the seas) when stress goes for a spin and begin to take its toll? Doesnโt the feel of the breeze, the smell of the grass, the sound of water running, feel at home in the outdoors?
Setting better boundaries starts here!…
Getting back to nature is one step to ease your emotional distress. Itโs amazing how you could find great friends in elements around you whenever disquiet turns exhausting. As extravagant or as simple as you want it to be, there is no need for a footslog far away to some mountain top. Start with few smaller hauls and as you get closer and closer to nature, youโll find youโre rid of your excessive worries and your innate self is back in gear. Youโre no longer bedeviled! Trust me, your best bet to escape from 100 or 1000 worries lies right beyond your garden fence.
And donโt forget to leave your phone at home. A constant stream of notifications and e-mails or the urge to refresh your social media frequently can quickly chip away at your newly found zing!
Image source: pexels.com.
Most meltdowns, I think are rarely catastrophic. They are fixable and never meant to be a 24/7 experience. Yet being constantly surrounded by them feels more like being hunted in a savanna by some wild animal where your stress response is all spooked up to save your life. Your attention is mobilized and riveted, your muscles are strained for a quick sprint and your immune system is racy enough to get you quickly out of danger.
This edginess though is usually short lived. In fact youโre stressed in real sense only for five minutesโฆ.more like before you die! But even in those few anxious moments it burns into your body, slams your emotional well being and crashes your decision making. It is then that you get tightly wound up and are more likely to react harshly than to respond with reason.
No matter what you choose to purge your guilt or how you decide to go about it, repossessing happiness never happens overnight. Itโs only your patience that would make all the difference between a beaten sod and a wishful Pollyanna.
Your takeaway!…
Next whenever you hit a bad trip and are clueless about how to cope with it, find a ray of hope in my playbook; without pre judging anything try your hand for onceโฆ something might just work right for you!
Warren Buffett certainly knows a thing a two about wealth management but his best one is straight out of pure common sense and is a polite reminder to always stay in your lane.
โSuccess depends largely on knowing your strengths and weaknessesโ.
But what happens when your anger begins to showcase your negative side? What then is there to make you truly happy?
Image source: ‘Five Reasons Being Moody Is Actually Good for You’ by Joseph Paul Forgas in vice.com on May 11, 2018.
Often we spend our entire lives looking for things that bring us happiness. While what brings joy to one person might be different from what brings happiness to another, there are few basic things that we all need to be happy. Amongst them, anger like regret and worries is an influencing emotion and the only key to our happiness in some way.
Lookโฆwe all do certain things to survive and a few more to be happy. But we do know that there is no shortcut in between. Sometimes itโs the good positive habit of accepting others unconditionally that does someoneโs heart good. At others itโs the emotions involved in taking care of ourselves that lit the spark of joy somewhere in our lives. Incredibly, loving the things we do is what makes for some genuine happiness.
Imagine what would happen if in your sullenness you do things that are not natural of you, only to distract you from everyday challenges? What if you never have had any heart for any of them and yet slog on? Binge-watching, eating mindlessly, going on buying spree even though you don’t truly need things, would only worsen your mood. Pushing ahead without truly enjoying anything would make you feel roasted and bad tempered. And like it or not your dense behavior would flame out your pie-in-the-sky thoughts, if any, in a flash.
One way to get out of this rut truly, is to seize the day and live in the moment. Doing so helps to elude the most nightmarish of emotions; regret anger and worry; the three brassy devils that are at the dead center of our lives and determine our happiness. But is it enough… to stop focusing much on regrets and anger about the past or worries about the future? Is this all we need to build a truly happy peaceful life?
See…our brains are hardwired to live in the past and future at the same time. You just canโt learn your present without living in the past and you canโt plan your tomorrow without living in the future.
Frayed tempers, we all know could tear apart a relationship if go unchecked for long. Minus one little bit of humility and your affinity would go for a toss; everything gets ruined for good! Above all you’re stricken with cold feet, never ready for a difficult task ahead and would remonstrate easily.
Does this mean the end of everything shining bright? Is there a way to make sure that fears of failure never reach you? If only there could be a way to ignore the sob stories surrounding expectations!
The upsides of defensive pessimism are heartening and might just be the right game plan for you to follow. Dismayed! Donโt beโฆ it earns you a chance at managing your future events and lets you ride out the obstacles. I wonโt say itโs epic but it allows you to set for yourself reasonably low expectations of success and encourages not going overboard over any potential failure.
Believe me; it doesn’t get any better than this. You’d overcome your fears and obstacles more calmly even if youโre unsure of everything and not feeling good about it. Itโs easy to deceive and sell to ourselves that we have full control over our happiness. But bluffing always ends at cross purposes.
Adversity, stress, unfairness, everything shapes how we feel. To believe that you can think yourself better simply by focusing on positive emotions, is at the very least naรฏve.
Here’s how to stay hopeful and give your best even when youโre uneasy, disquieted and feeling prickly;
Image source: pexels.com
Stick to the things that youโre good at, not whatโs cool
Remember Alex cross in 2001 thriller โAlong Came a Spiderโ!…
โYou do what you are. You’re born with a gift. If not that, then you get good at something along the way. And what you’re good at, you don’t take for grantedโ.
Many of us waste a lot of time chasing pipe dreams to learn few new things that we think are cool and reckon worthy of learning. It could be anything; from a programming language to new framework or even some difficult topic in deep learning. But before that!…everyone of us want to be good at things we’re passionate about. Not many of us, of course even know what exactly that is.
Trying to figure out it out is hard enough on its own. And it gets even trickier when youโre banging your head on a wall to make sense of what being good at something is all about.
For a start, think of Alex Cross whenever youโre in a cranky mood and feeling miserable. You might be helping yourself to figure out your strengths and what youโre naturally good at. Yet even when in one of your most peevish moods, donโt ever think of chasing waterfalls.
Youโre already the greatest of what you could be.
Do what you love, not what you like
Knowing your strengths, doing exactly what youโre good at and putting all your heart into it, rewards you with all the fun and happiness you desire- otherwise whatโs the point of getting rid of that ratty mood? What Tim Cook meant when he said “Do what you love, and put your whole heart into it, and then just have funโ isnโt hard to guess.
I had spent a lot of time thinking over how to evolve a pursuit that I love most when my work and career means something that I canโt help but keep going. The thoughts often left me grumpy and fuming. Deep down I knew that somehow I needed to optimize my life… but how? Wasnโt that something that I always want to do in the first place?
And then I decided to do more of the things I loved and less of the things I liked. It felt cleaner, fulfilling and helped me get in better shape.
Image source: istockphoto.com.
So, before you decide to shock yourself to shake off that low mood, take a deep breath and tell yourself that this is a question that everyone asks themselves at some point in their lives. Everyone wants to be good at things theyโre passionate about. Itโs just as you must cut back on things you like, to make room for what you love, you should also cut back on the your shoulds.
Still all fret and fumes trying to figure out if this is the answer to what you want to do for the rest of your life?
As I said, figuring out what it is that youโre good at, is a great place to begin with!
In an ideal World, Roe vs Wade would endure, people would unite and stand up to fight Covid and Law makers everywhere would have acted long ago to prevent gun tragedies!
But rather than wishing, shouldnโt we be prepared for a change first?
Image source: ‘From Parkland to Sunrise: A Year of Extraordinary Youth Activism’ by Emily Witt in newyorker.com on Feb.13, 2019.
Guns get all the blame for mass killing every time it happens. An intense lifeโand-death debate rages for a while and then dies down. Memories and moods remain surreal and short lived. And itโs not long before everybody finds recluse in more earthy issues and moves on. Scores of 4th graders, grocery shoppers and church goers killed in mindless homicides, continue to get reduced to framed memories.
Meanwhile, the Apex court everywhere conveniently locks horns with law makers over contentious gun reforms and abortion bills and none of the arguments coming out of them makes any sense. Political, constitutional or safety of public interests, everything just pales into some super sad pointless ghost story that has no takers.
Seeโฆthe buzz is so deafening that nobody took notice when the new strain of corona virus crept in quietly!
I use common sense when deciding who should lead and govern and be responsible for my safety and well being. I am also reminded and not forgotten the Boston bombings, mass killings of 9/11, 26/11 and 15/9 (LondonโsParson Green metro bombings). And yet I donโt see any reason for anyone owning an assault rifle or a rapid fire weapon. Background checks or pesky formalities for owning a weapon, make life seem so cheap by selling cheap. The only argument in defenseโฆevery non-felon ought to be armed against the menace!
If you buy this, owning a fire arm for you, is not only logical but prudent. But to me, itโs more like living in flood plains and buying flood insurance.
So, should you be doing it? Only if you uphold that every one of us has descended from slime and there is no eternal consequence for anything atrocious that is done. But once you buy the idea- โthat your personal arsenal is your best bet against an unknown threatโ no amount of tragedy can persuade you to ditch it. Itโs intoxicating, itโs horrendousโฆitโs ghastly! Not even the slaughter of innocent children and teachers or unsuspecting shoppers or tired workers returning home could persuade you to forget this abhorrent solution.
Then thereโs something more to thisโฆ
Even if you find gun massacres like the one at Robb elementary school, Uvalde Texas that left 19 children and 2 adults dead, atrociously horrifying, I bet youโd still prefer to see everything distantly; dispassionate and unconnected from the entire tragedy. You have kept your guns safe and secure, possibly under lock and key and consider yourself a responsible gun owner. So, some lunatic did the killings. Right…? It’s a shame that the pain and loss never reaches you.
Image source: ‘Florida school shooting: 19-year-old accused of killing 17 is a ‘broken child,’ lawyer says’ by Karma Allen & Emily Shapiro in abcnews.go.com on Feb.16, 2018.
If you carry this logic, all youโd do is offer moments of silence and prayers but resist reforms. The same asinine perception makes you a different person; one who counters bad guys with guns and believes that more good guys are needed with more guns!
If you ask me itโs more like reliving an old-school Western fantasy again- โgunmen square off and the ranger always kills the desperadoโ.
Of course yes! Gun laws everywhere do need changes, but would that mean arming even the teachers and school going kids? Iโm sure you wouldnโt want them to. Besides itโs not what a teacher signs up for! Personally, I canโt imagine of an elementary school teacher hopping around with a gun in the classroom, all trigger happy to ward off a threat.
Every life is as dear as it could ever be. And we need to do something to show that. Ricocheting from one tragedy to another is not normal. What are needed are stringent gun reforms with proven track of reduced violence and fire arm homicides. There were armed guards at both the Buffalo and Uvalde massacres, yet the slaying didnโt fell short. Protests and incensed emotions wonโt do much except rip apart the existing gun laws.
Till necessary amendments begin to rebuild trust, everything shall remain where it is. Itโs a sad inconvenience but loss of lives will be around us for some more time to come.
Whateverโฆthe solution is not more guns! Critics inevitably may have some more to argue over mental health, but till the arbitrage strikes balanceโฆ.
Innocents will continue being slaughtered!
Image source: ‘Let gun safety be your target!โ: protest signs from the US school walkouts’ by Dale Berning Sawa & Mee-Lai Stone in guardian.com on Mar.15, 2018.
Every life is valuable
Every thought that weighs abortions with gun homicides is narrow at best. The decision whether or not to go ahead with abortion is deeply personal and sometimes a difficult choice to make. Carnage on the other hand is barbaric, inhumane and shameless violation of โright to liveโ. Any argument that itโs the people that kill people and not the guns is a pathetic replay of one of the worst dissenting woes; that restriction on lawful possession of a firearm will endanger lives of those who donโt possess one. Excuses like this are frustrating only and wouldnโt do anything to deter the absurdly easy availability of a weapon.
Meanwhile, empaths are rattled by another tormenting downslide in abortion rights. Unable to stall the insane gun culture, the pro-gun activists-especially in America, want guns to proliferate and wouldnโt wish for anything else to change till feticide laws are considered and done with!... ridiculously evil, inappropriate and more like side stepping the issue.
This insanity however has few takers. Fair enough! If the law makers are truly concerned about saving lives, why a gun shopper couldnโt be held to same standards as meant for those contemplating abortion? If everything about MTP is put right, would that mean declining trends in gun violence? Is that the only answer to deterring another kill like 16 Dec 2014 Peshawar attack that left 132 kids dead or 58 Las Vegas concert-goers from dying at the hands of a gunman? Why nobody demands to protect the lives we all seek to save?
And as we wait;
#More than 500 people continue to die every day. This adds up to 1.4 million firearm related deaths globally every year!
#About 2000 people get wounded by gunshots everyday and about 2 million are living with fire arm injuries around the globe.
#8 million small arms and 15 billion rounds of ammo find shelves with arms dealers each year.
#An estimated 40-50 million abortions happen around the world every year; roughly 125000 each day.
#Around 73 million induced abortions take place worldwide each year.
Yet everybody just loves to hang aroundโฆ the political werewolves quietly mull over electoral incentives that would affect policy choices on issues of national interest. And people continue to get killed for nothing every day.
Itโs a strange messy world out there and the happiest people arenโt the ones who have faced fewer difficulties in life, but those who have learned to enjoy the moment they live in.
Image source: Ira in pexels.com.
Life sucks whenever it gets stuck with adversity. Spiteful, smartingโฆ just everything about it makes you feel hapless and jinxed.
When youโre anxious about something or your mind is busy browsing past events, itโs easy to relive your fears, worries and every negative thought you had, over and over in your mind. Next, itโs not long before they start shaping your reality.
Thatโs awful! But you could still stop your brain from looking back; from horror stories to toxic relationships to those grumpy days, it rehashes every bad sore that still make you resentful, angry and disappointed even though it may have happened long time back!
Bad experiences and worries never let go easy.
There are plenty of DIY columns and scores of self-help books claiming to have found the key to an everlasting happiness. Iโve been through a few of them and yet couldnโt convince myself. Even Mo Gadwatโs Solve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy and Adjust the Code That Runs Your Brain seem like just two more to add to the stack. Not much of a relief here. Stories of burn outs and the great resignation paranoia still continue to rage prime time screen. Not far behind are a cheeky few that sizzle as screamers in unprincipled journals. The din as usual is raucous and always in vain.
Happiness, I think lies somewhere in between the events of life and our expectations of how it should respond. This is fairly obvious. If we expect much more from life than the reality, heartaches and regrets happen and nothing thereafter would let us be happy.
Lookโฆunlike our everyday coffee spills and parking tickets, we constantly see the rose tinted version of everybodyโs โbest lifeโ. We prefer to ignore the half eaten bitter part of it. And itโs when our brain begins to bump off. More receptive to negative emotions, it begins to discard anything and everything โgoodโ.
Does this mean we should pare down our expectations? Isnโt this opposite of what we normally get to hear for self-empowerment?
Much like AI, sometimes our brain also gets afflicted with spams and bugs and trojans. And when that happens, everything sucks! From dismay to chagrin, every life changing decision leads to a narrow downward spiral. Nothing seems to reflect reality. Every dreadful thought would only worsen your fears over what future may bring.
Fortunately, this is not without a caveat. We arenโt meant to doom despite our brainโs natural disposition to upsetting events. The wretched part though is that in the middle of this you couldnโt hit the snooze.
So, is there a way to combat this bias? What if we could somehow reprogram our brain to scan only for good things in life, parse the possibilities before moving ahead and at the end of it- eventually be happier?
If lately your brainโs been busy accumulating suspicions and worries, flagging them a big red “This Is Important!!โ itโs time for a cool 30 sec. โbeard strokingโ.
Maybe you too could patch up your brain and go breezy!
Image source:’ 6 Simple Ways to Train Your Brain for Happiness’ by Minda Zetlin in http://www.inc.com
Slow things down
When youโre feeling frazzled, stressed or distracted, taking a conscious approach to your thinking helps. Tip!… spend a moment to calm your mind, take few deep breaths to fill your lungs with fresh air and let go of every thought that troubles you. Let life happen of its own. Donโt drag yourself into it.
Give yourself 10 secs and youโll be ready for a positive reboot in no time!
Good things matter
One simple way to retailor your brain to respond to positive patterns only, is to look towards worthwhile things happening around you. Rake up a list of most appealing ones and muse โwhat caused them to happenโ? You would carry the day every time you discover something positive. And every small win each day will reward you with a choice to empower and motivate yourself.
Small favors create circle of joy
When we are nice to others or somehow make others feel good, we get goosebump moments of happiness. Every small act that makes people smile, brings joy to us too. All it needs is a moment of favor; buy someone a cup of coffee, help a stranger, walk an old person across the street or even feed a stray animal; every act of generosity will get you a little rush at happiness. Your usual pattern of worrying and fretting will be lost in flashes of mirth and joy.
Your present shapes your tomorrow
No tomorrow, no next week โฆItโs right this moment! Itโs not hard to exercise. Itโs only about practicing mindfulness. Not a big deal if youโd recognize your emotions. Put in a dry run, if youโre not convinced enough. Switch your thoughts to positive ones for a change and let everything around you happen without judging them. Once this gets under your skin, good things begin to happen.
Image source: ‘How to rewire your brain for peak performance and happiness’ by Amy Crawford in theholisticingredient.com
Now that you have tamed your subconscious you wonโt let it drive your decisions. You have taught your brain to sense, when itโs slipping and when it should defrag for a more balanced and positive outlook.
The skeptic in me though, never fails to line up sweet accusations as alibi to screen my often offensive behavior. โIf it worked even for one of them why wouldnโt it for me? Why not give it a try?โ
Not that, itโs impossible to get success when you have resigned yourself to wickedness in you. But tagging mistrust and uncertainty to your life is always a bad idea. Simply put, it influences your life and would worsen your decision making.
IMHO!… get into the habit of continually checking with yourself and consciously steer your thoughts clear of negativity; itโs not long before it will become your second skin.
And itโs important to remember that it can happen. Better still, you can do it.
Maybeโฆsomeday youโll live a moment when it wonโt feel like every day is a Monday!
Serious and extremely driven, itโs hard to argue with how good these ‘half goat-half fish’ Capricorns are at heart.
Hereโs all the brutal truth and secrets about loving the hardest zodiac sign.
Image source: aliexpress.com.
ยญยญยญOnly if you are born between December 22 and January 20, youโd agree that people of this theatrical zodiac sign, are usually spoiled for choices and love to scoff at astrology. They are generally so deeply rooted in this deafening world that they wouldn’t understand one damn thing about the mystique surrounding the stars.
What amuses me all the more is peopleโs ability to label you as a zodiac sign, which probably youโre not. Iโve so often been tagged as a Virgo, Taurus, and Leo etc. If you should know my true sign is Capricorn and I donโt believe any of those signs are any far from one another or completely different.
Iโve come up with an alternate theory though. Call me a zodiac skeptic but the goat in me sometimes feels so misrepresented, and maligned that sheโs no fun to be living with! Who wouldnโt like to zero in on parts that resonate most and conveniently ignore the rest?
Itโs kinda groping around for some comfort. What am I? Who I want to be and who Iโm afraid I might be. Arenโt you frequently mistaken simply because people read into you as โwho they want you to beโ.
No wonder countless people flaunt their sign as a point of pride, but never forget to evade the stereotypical geeks like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, unless they are really into some freak whoโs boring, enraging, workaholic. Worse even Jeff Bezos โ a Capricorn couldnโt manage to get rid of this sick cosmic joke. Somehow the entire world seems to be on the anti Cap and the tale that follows, is all too powerful to be snubbed easily.
When I was young and first learned about zodiac signs, I felt it was all creepy and uncomfortable. I had begun to have my doubts.
Like everybodyโs my family too had several birth dates. My dad was born in the sixth sign of zodiac Virgo which meant balance everywhere; social justice, friendships, family; industrious, everything felt so gentle, unflustered and above the board! You couldnโt have witnessed a more distinctive person; high energy, authoritative and sometimes incredibly entertaining! He had a commanding presence that youโd either love or hate; nowhere in between.
Growing up in the shadow of someone like him made me wish our signs could somehow switch. Yet I knew I wouldnโt fit in if miraculously that were to happen somehow. I was shy, uncomfortable in social situations and felt awkward for most of the time. I cared too much about otherโs opinions. My dadโs confidence to โnot careโ what othersโ thought could do little to pull me up. I couldnโt help fear everybodyโs judgment. I couldnโt get myself being involved and upright. I could never thrive at being the center of attention the way he did.
I was introverted, sensitive and feeble for the shock and awe that went with it. I loved roosting in my shell and was Ok for not being the live wire that my dad was in every situation. I preferred to stay intimate to myself and a small group of people that I knew closely.
Itโs funny how we perceive things and are so myopic on just a few parts of people around us. We get fixated on part of the statement and miss the rest of the paragraph so conveniently.
Nobody could ever imagine that the shy, awkward geeky person that I was, could transform into someone who would dwarf everything else in a way so contrary to a Capricornian. Maybe I was underestimated; misunderstood rather, but I loved it. I was probably picking up on the prized bling of this zodiac sign by now. Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, I was now natural allies to finer flings of life.
This meant that if I could get to be anything close to what a firebrand my dad was then his zodiac sign was entirely wrong. Maybe the stars had taken a day off, the year he was born. He was a Virgo born with a million ideas per second and a clean freak in its truest form.
Sure I was peevish and insecure on many issues. For a diehard introvert that I was, stars did count and conspired against me in the astrological world. Yet I loved to be the top bill, like everybody else. I longed to be admired and would feel gutted if I couldnโt get to steal the show. Plus , God knows…how much I would have loved to wow the people around me.
Itโs only now that I could imagine well why I couldnโt stand tall in that 96 sheet space; I was probably falsely selling myself short. “Darn!” why it took me so long to realize that no story gets any better without an interesting villain?
I am still not sure if there is enough to say that there is a strong possibility that my personality matched my zodiac sign or came any close to my dadโs.
โYou walk and talk just like your dadโ;
One of dadโs old pal who would later become one of my true inspiration and a good educator told me once.
Aw shucks.!..
I had to laugh. He was right!
Image source: Volker Meyer in pexels.com.
Itโs not that Caps are truly as cold as the season in which they enter this world; itโs just that that for them the World is a big messy affair where only everything relevant stays and thrives.
Today not feeling disconnected or as evil and dangerous as vilified, I see life as a treasure and not a sob story. All it needs is some unique rebranding before you’d sell it to yourself. Not everybody approves of that, ofcourse. Wisecrack and gigs that follow, are pitiful but plentiful;
“They always say that we’re assholes, or we’re emotionless. So savage. And that’s the complete opposite of who I am,” Sara Tan, Refinery29’s beauty director rues.
Perhaps Caps do need to take a step back and fix the conflicts surrounding their image. Most of them would jump at that. But beware! If Laura Dern’s character in Big Little Lies wasnโt only about ball busting or money spinning then not all Caps are cold and crazily reserved. Itโs just that pop astrology blankets them as โsuccess fiendsโ.
Remember โฆCaps are ruled by Saturn! Oh yes! I almost forgot. Saturn is more of an old man now. So if you still choose to give them this rigid label-‘stop’. You could be busting their fiddle foot growth over some ill conceived generational conflict.
Image source: Snow white in pexels.com.
Actually this sounds pretty weird but I think caps are more about “moving ahead with uprightness.”
‘Everything has attraction but not everyone sees itโ.
Image source: โWhat makes someone naturally beautiful?โ in naturaluniversalsecrets.com
I wonder how good is that when peopleโs preference for faces changes remarkably every time they run into one?
For most part we could do little to change how we look but isnโt smelling good, being funny or not talking about your ex strongly influences your uniqueness?
Iโm no Dale Carnegie or a big thumping philanthrop like Oprah. But Iโve learned a thing or two about how to draw the world around me; how to work with it than around it.
Having wrinkles or two is not a sign of horror; itโs a sign of experience, of weariness and above all your love for life. It means youโre trying to be the best person you can be; youโre trying to keep the twinkle in your eyes because you want to be happy. And you smile brightly because you know that makes you overwhelmingly attractive!!
Still, if you think that attraction is just a word and couldnโt define who you are; hereโre some ways to make people love the freckleson your face.
Smile to win over!
Smile is one big way stir up things. Itโs one damn good way to make others find you appealing and attractive. It hints at friendliness and receptivity. Smiling and laughing is cool; it not only makes you more attractive but it makes you feel more attractive. And doing so you, lets you experience joy and happiness even when things donโt seem to be going well.
A smile speaks of its own and works like some rustic aphrodisiac that could pull even the ever-serious counterparts towards you. Sad wry faces feel dismissive and cruel.
Imagine if you could pair a face with something positive and beautiful; that face would then begin to look more attractive. A beaming mug is way different from sad sullen ones that crowd around you every day and is the obvious choice to be judged as more attractive!
Lookโฆ
Who you find attractive is less about where you grew up or where you ran around in life. Your choice is more influenced by experiencing the pull that is so unique when you look at a simple, coy and pleasantly bright face.
Image source: โfreepick.comโ.
Air of excitement around you!
Let it happen! Sometimes it helps build ridiculous amount of attraction!!
People generally love being accepted and feel comfortable when that happens but not unless you make their interests important to you just as much you want them to as well. If you want others to like you, let your gestures build up some comfort.
Your friends may know who you are but others judge you only by your looks and how you connect with them. More than anything your body stance, attitude and the eagerness to open up when you bump into some stranger; thatโs what make people find you attractive.
I am flattered when somebody I happen to meet first time, gets curious about my life or my hobbies. Iโm sure, that someone also expects to be enquired. And thatโs OkโฆI think that if you could find the right stuff to make a heart flutter, the allure will rake up a warm companionship all by itself.
Truth is that every one of us on this planet believes that we know something that the other doesnโt. And we would rather die trying to learn something new. If you believe that everything happens for a reason; create your own style and share the excitement of togetherness. No matter what, how you feel is more important than how you look! Heads will turn, once you begin to get comfortable in your skin.
Itโs not long before people will recognize you as an attractive and fantastic person.
Monday blues are bad!
Negative side of everything is unpleasant. People with a peppy attitude, on the other hand bring encouraging changes in everybodyโs lives, help avoid worries, see the brighter side of everything and expect the best to happen. Just living their lives and doing things they love most is what makes them attractive.
Could you think of the times when someone has been unexpectedly friendly and nice to you? Is it the person who smiled at you while you went strolling in the park? Maybe itโs only a cheerful โgood morningโ; nothing was said at first. Maybe itโs the person who picked up a conversation with you first time and bowled you over with an unexpected compliment. Believe me, these are the kind of thoughts that never leave us. Whenever roused, they make our day feel a little better.
These small positive actions get people innately attracted to and want that someone to be around when everything goes gross.
Geez…do we need to be happy all the times? Surely thatโs not possible. We all have our moments of sadness, loss, anger and hardships. And yet we know how to combat loneliness and stay snug in life.
So, just stay cool, keep telling yourself that you can do whatever it takes to be happy and let the life happen. Youโll wake up each morning knowing that you deserve the awesome life youโre living.
Trust meโฆ
People get attracted to you, feel connected to and remember you as a fair deal only when you donโt act silly goose, are unassuming and not always cooked up to look unmistakably attractive.
Image source: pexels.com.
Learning is wonderful
Going back to University, sweating out over some online course or catching up a seminar? If you are looking to fit into at least one of them, then learning is your one way ticket to stay relevant everywhere you go. It helps you understand how the world works. It helps you to realize your passion, boost creativity and live a better life. The benefits are simply enormous.
Sometimes we find ourselves troubled in an intense impassioned life circles where perceptions keep changing. And so do our imperfections. The painful truth is that knowing backwards sometimes feels far less important and we usually junk the very idea of learning something new!
This is where the pit gets deeperโฆ Feeling gutted makes it worse.
For people whom we find attractive, learning is something thatโs endless. They take the time to be savvy and admit when they don’t have an answer, but work around to find one. Wary and unsure, not many of us have the heart to rise and take the same first step.
For times when you couldnโt see the whole staircase and burn yourself too much over โI think I can or think I canโtโ; itโs best to take a step back and sell yourself this storyโฆ
“Attraction is a funny thing. It never resists change. And it never lets you go dark either.”
Learning and knowing better would nudge more and more people towards you.
Youโre never too good!
Itโs a mean old world where life follows one single rule. If you want to succeed and be a happy attraction to others, donโt take yourself too seriously. Stop believing that everything revolves around you. In fact, thereโs a good chance that when youโre gone, youโll be completely forgotten in no time. Thereโs always somebody to take your place.
I find perfectionism as the enemy of change. It never lets us rest or to have fun and be happy wanting to do everything our way. We fear that one single mistake would ruin everything weโve build for so long. Itโs a delusion that wouldnโt let us be a messy imperfect and perhaps a happy person!
Image source: ‘freepik.com‘.
Sometimes I also get comfortable being uncomfortable. I love my perfectly imperfect moments. But thatโs my burden and Iโve learned to take it seriously, not myself. I think being attractive is just a matter of being confident in your skin and loving the way you look like.
So, stop being a perfect student, perfect employee, perfect son, perfect sister, perfectโฆ??.
Do your stuff with an abandon and people with a sense of light heartedness will find you attractive for sure!!
Pursuing an old dream or chasing a new passion and yet disappointed in you for feeling left out? If you believe in tweaks that could change your life, go after every second chance that comes your way. Someday it will reward you with a pearl beyond price !!
And a reason to smile!
Image source: pexels.com.
Life yields a second chance to every one of us. Itโs called tomorrow. And it doesnโt happen by chance. We begin to live our second life the moment we realize that weโve got only one and fancy a new morning with a fresh chance to make of it whatever we want!
I think thatโs great!! Life is just too short to leave things at odds.
The only creepy thing about it though is that these breaks rarely happen by chance and for the most part are scary. What if everything ends with the same outcome? Howโd I know that I ainโt cloning the same mistakes and nothing is actually going to change?
Thatโs funny! While we anxiously hope and look forward for some kind of rescue, fear of unlikely payoffs is hurting!
Angst aside, I believe everyone deserves a new start even when we cannot control how it is going to end. Making bad choices is normal but regretting them is what makes us free to choose again.
Like Qusay Hussein, a wounded Iraqi teen who met a new life in the US, when I think of my childhood, I think of colors; the dull brick red walls and the deep rich greens of the lush front gardens on either side of our beautiful home. More like him, I gave myself a second chance to learn and grow along others after an early exit of my dad left behind shattered dreams and hard times. I didnโt do anything real until I was 25. Not only after a few impromptu accomplishments in post grad and doctorโs, that I could gather enough courage to test the unknown! And all the time I was sharply aware that it was really a shot at becoming who I wanted. It all had stretched out like one long dazzling promise to break out and shine! Sure I wasnโt hungry for a huge career but something that Iโd enjoy.
I held on to all the chances that came my way…
Iโm not sure when the wakeup call tipped off but it did saw me a lot wiser โฆ Iโd come to realize that itโs never too late to do what you love most!
Just a few years ago, I thought everything was over, and now โฆIโve discovered my happy self!
Image source: pexels.com.
Everybody has a story to tell
I donโt think that happiness is big or infinite or that youโd meet it only when you get your second break. People make mistakes all the time. No oneโs perfect but you cannot rewind the movie of your life to the point you thought was Ok and play it again. I gave myself chances upon chances until I realized that I can only change the movie from this point forward.
Giving yourself a second chance doesnโt make you stupid; it means that you believe that you can change for the better. Itโs an opportunity for you to learn and grow and be a finer person.
Lookโฆ Iโm not the first or the only person whoโs made bad choices in life. And neither are you. So why stay pissed off over something that can be won back!
People often make bad ones only to regret later. Everybody does, but that doesnโt mean that they have to pay for them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes even good people make bad choices; it doesnโt make them any more severe! Like everybody else they too get hurt but they learn and they move on.
Life is short lived to hold on to the past. Can you imagine yourself not giving someone a second chance? I canโt. Things never go the way we all want most of the time, but that doesnโt mean youโd hang on to hard feelings and not allow yourself a free happy life! If you donโt forgive someone and give him or her another shot, you too will be drawn into a dirty โnegative edge poolโ. Worse, youโll drain yourself emotionally completely.
Not only that if it werenโt for the second chances, we all would have lost good friends, warm relations and perhaps missed a snug hug back home. Trust me, itโs human to make choices we think were right but so often turn up wrong and end hurting others.
Weโre not perfect and we would never be. So forgive, forget and buzz off.
Giving somebody another try is your one more chance to thrive and be happy.
May be on that day, you could finally let go and move on.
Feature credits: ‘Piper- A story of true happiness.’ by Movie Mania 3000 on Mar.15, 2019.
For Colin Thackery, the Chelsea pensioner who won BGT at the age of 89 or for Jan Jacob, who at the age 50 realized she was a gay- it wasnโt the first time that future had looked uncertain or the life felt painfully strung to a distant North Pole. But both were certain about one thing, giving themselves as many chances as came their way; second, third, fourth; they seized each one never knowing when theyโll get one again. They knew that someday they would find a way through to smile again.
Today their phones are all filled up with texts and calls and Iโm sure they have umpteen exciting stories to tell.
WhateverโฆI’m glad their lives could help show others how to live their best lives too.
Curiously, their tales remind me of a somewhat sweet and noble virtueโฆ
โItโs never too late to become everything you want to become. Itโs never too late to try againโ.
Eighteen years ago, Morgan Spurlock in his 2004 award winning documentary โSuper Size Meโ set out to put things straight about what regular fast food consumption at massive levels could do to a human body. Clearly Spurlock’s glut had “supersizedโ his meals nine times along the way. As calorie and fat counts failed to add up, disappointing results pushed McDonaldโs to remove its โsuper sizeโ menu options.
Image source: ‘FAO: meat burger, better protein quality’ in carnisostenibili.it on May,12, 2022.
What followed next was even more bizarre!
McDonaldโs signature hamburger โBig Macโ blew off the knockers in the years to come and became one definitive Dollar Menu item that defied all Burgernomics. Five hundred and fifty million plus each year, itโs clearly impossible for any sandwich with that much involved to be sold for $3!
How and why is all history now. The frenzy is here to stay. People throng to outlets, ignore the fitness goals if only for a while and throw to winds anything and everything else โdecadentโ.
But what would you say of eating junk food regularly? What if you ate say, Big Mac everyday for next 20 years? How good would that do to you? Two 1.6 ounce all beef patties, secret sauce, shredded iceberg lettuce, cheese, re-hydrated dehydrated onions, two pickle chips, sesame seed buns; even if youโve never eaten one, itโs hard to miss. McDonaldโs Big Mac sandwich; the iconic hamburger that famed as $1 Poor Man’s Big Mac back in 1967 gradually turned significantly taller.
Today, served in a โclamshellโ box, this โtwo all beef pattyโ burger has overwhelmed the hoi polloi everywhere.
Filling, inexpensive and quick, if you find yourself left with only a couple of bucks in your pocket, would you have anywhere else to go but the McDonaldโs? I guess youโd stick to this 540 calorie 29 gram fat 29 grams protein, bundled bite of pure joy!
As a child, I loved the Phantom Sweet Cigarettes and Orange candies that somehow made me feel tall and rebellious! Golden Arches in 60โs! it meant little or nothing to me. Itโs only in the year 1996 that I got introduced to a piquant racy Mcveggie Happy Meals. I loved the cardboard box, the hamburger, the fries and of course the delightful apple slices inside. My tune changed thereafter. I grew an appetite for the food that a kidโs stuff could no longer whet. I graduated to bigger Big Mac fast; I could find little or no time for cooked meals. On Sundays, I and my mates would gorge on Big Mac, often two or three at a time!
Image source: ’50 years on, McDonald’s isn’t messing with its Big Mac’ in economictimes.indiatimes.com on Jul.30, 2018.
Fast forward twenty-six years.
Itโs May 17th 2022; something peculiar in the daily tabloid has caught my eye.
Itโs about a man whoโs been eating at least one Big Mac per day, since 1972. Dan Gorske has made it big! He has broken his own world record of eating at least one Big Mac daily for over the last half century consuming more than thirty two thousand of them.
And he gushes on;
โIโll probably be eating Big Macs everyday for the rest of my life.โ
Truly, everything else has paled to his favorite hamburger. He might continue the run so long as he sees no reason to jump to other options; he has found one that gives him so much delight.
And I’m so curious for many things about him, particularly about the manโs health!
I googled him on online and easily found a picture of a man who appears to be relatively healthy. For all that crass indulgence, he appears to be blessed with some extraordinary guts and seems not weighed down with obesity or broken build.
For the kind of poster boy heโs become, does “I am lovin’ it“ come any close to describing his burger obsession? Most of us love fast foods as indulgence, but is the poor man’s Big Mac worth it in the end?
Certainly thereโs more to it than just a $3 much evolved sandwich! Although tasty and inexpensive, is the Big Mac really a healthy option?
The savory trail of Big Mac doesn’t end here!
Image source: pexels.com
A a day to keep your worries at bay?
Dorothy Nedd turned 106 this January 2022 and she shared the secret of her incredibly long life; she went to Church every Sunday and ate a Big Mac on the way home.
All that for her love for Jesus and Big Macs!
Born in 1914, sheโs lived through both the World Wars, the moon landing and now counts herself to be one of the oldest persons alive today.
Hard to reason, but is this the fluoride that has done the trick for her?
Is the Big Mac so crippling and nasty as the nutritionists sound?
Gorske has eaten more than 33000 of them since 1972 and if youโre wondering how he could put up with all this eat-up, itโs some relief to know that his eating and exercising habits are pretty rock hard. 10 mile or more walks, plenty of veggies and generally no fries; Gorske also does something that he loves- the never dying practice of moderation.
But what would you say of Dorothyโs trick. 106 and still living her best life!
Morgan Spurlockโs infamous 2004 documentary with all those extra 24 pounds, skyrocketing cholesterol and sustained liver damage hullabaloo, might scare you to a spin, but even this one laments.
It reminds me only as a cautionary tale; results arenโt the same for everyone.
The dirty secret that that Spurlock didn’t reveal and escaped everybody is that what was staged at McDonaldโs over a month, back in 2004 could have just as easily been replicated with many supposedly healthier alternatives then ! Pret a Manger (an international sandwich shop franchise chain from UK), Chop’t (an all American creative Salad fast food chain) and Au Bon Pain (a fast casual restaurant, bakery, and cafรฉ chain from Texas)– all raunchy and wholesome, could have added inches to your belly just as well for being far more generous with calories than the Big Mac!
Then everybody was so conveniently forgetting the other wellness offenders; sugar and sodium; two good enough reasons for the beginning and end of everything.
Image source: pexels.com.
So, whatโs there to eat if not this?
Health foods, natural foods and even vegan foods do not always mean they are the best healthilicious option for you. Where ever you are, there is always a better choice and always a worst choice. And you know what?…thereโs a whole lot of terrifying foods out there that could tip the scales in wrong direction for you. Nobody not even Ronald McDonald himself could have recommended something to keep you in good shape; what with the Big Mac being the original offender here!
Feature credits: ‘ MacDonald’s ‘ in facebook.com.
Moderation might be the key to everything fine and happy and smiling. Even Gorske claims it has kept him in good shape since. But if you fancy a certain food, itโs not long before you would turn forgiving for anything โself restrainingโ!
Donโt take my word for it. If you have a weak stomach for anything limiting then itโs just an everyday life kind of thing for you. Even Dorothy Neddโs trick to a long life with one savory burger each day might fail you of your big story.
Gorskeโs streak meanwhile stays strong and if that guy is any inspiration then โYou wonโt be dead before you reach 50 years of eating Big Mac like him!โ
Christ! If that is any truth– no “Face Time” as you grow old and a little more of โsweet livingโ for you!
Itโs 8 in the morning and youโre all flustered and rushed to make it to your workplace on time. Loads of little things are hurting your head and you donโt have time to live a few clever moments of sweet happiness!
Life sucks and nothing seems like a cakewalk. Your WFH siesta has ended leaving you all keyed up with crazy jaded ideas about how you are going to begin offline. You donโt feel any heart left for your desk after a long break and donโt know how and if you can you keep pace with life now. The vacuum is all eating you up. You wish you could go back in time; not to change anything but to feel couple of things twice and possibly change hands with something more exciting.
The phantom in you whines and pines for more.
Letโs face it; Life isnโt easy and glee and all that, but you know what? If you endure your daily grind and drain yourself out without knowing why, itโs possible that your personality and your place of work might run into odds with each other. You are aware that ripping the band-aid off could get you the sun shine you were looking for so long than enduring an unfitting, ill suited work space; but a switch over is always a difficult choice.
Youโre not sure if that would be the right thing to doโฆ!
If youโre facing the headwinds- right from Covid to quality and performance concerns and feel low and trapped โ the list of crises hitting businesses keeps getting longer–bad breaks arenโt going to leave you any time sooner.
Here are three way to know if your hard time is simply some short living raw deal or your work place is particularly draining for your personality.
It feels like entering a pit hole!
Your Office pyramid works infamously with a twisted bottom line mentality. Itโs 3Ps-Productivity, performance and profits and thatโs that. No room for anything else! Your wellness and personal relations have no takers here. The demon of highbrowism is raging in every corner. Itโs problematic and unhealthyโespecially if youโre obsessively passionate about your work and often land yourself right in the middle of the rut!
If you are someone who is passionately preoccupied with the job and unwittingly ignores his personal wellness, then a damaging crisis awaits you with no near term exit in sight; one that can pile tremendous pressure on your happiness.
So, should this mean you’re stranded at cross roads?
Gosh-darn!…it’s intense. From sob story to small choices…you’d always figure out something and find the balance.
If you are hooked to a “spongy” mentality and dire the struggle, there is nothing much for you to do than to try and keep your obsessive passion for work at bay. Pursue the whole nine yards with a sense of balance and flexibility and you may survive the crisis.
Indeed, there is no saying where it all ends but any emotional distance between you and your work might just work.
The waters here are choppy and bruising!
The relief here always comes too little, too late! The workstead that lacks autonomy but typically has dogsbody driven high turnover, is unhealthy for most passionate people.
So, if you get butterflies in your gut, get tizzy and flustered easily and jim jams make you jumpy whenever work stress spikes; you’re in for some troubled times. Even the micromanagement would fail you completely and the unstoppable domino effect would skewer your anxiety to unhealthy levels. Again, in a job that is highly stressful and tags little or no job security; increase in bitterness, anger and sulkiness is inevitable.
When things get so screwed up and it gets harder to get out of the mess, is there anything helpful besides a non-micro managing boss to move your happiness needle, leewards?
Nothing muchโฆif you cannot rid yourself of work slave mentality or empower yourself enough to bring changes in your work environment; then itโs time to move on. Should you get to stay; youโd continue to burn slow and so would your happiness.
However,…
If you begin your day at your workstation with a sense of belonging, have a clear sense of purpose and at the end of the day feel like youโve achieved what you had set out for in the morning; then probably you are working in an inclusive and respectful workplace. Experiencing appreciation, freedom, leaning while earning well and feeling supported by a helpful boss! Christ!โฆ thatโs a paradise no nine-to-fiver ever stops dreaming of! No need to move quickly to act. This place is no goof up!!
WFH exclusivity continues!
Image source: ‘Should I be working from home now?’ in bbc.com,
Virus has waned but work from home is a dreamy reality that is yet to end. For many this is a desire come true; for others though it works better in theory than practice. Bad habits, gross indiscipline and over sedentary days spew out of remote connectivity. Boozing, watching Netflix or surfing e-commerce sites during work hours have driven people low on conscientiousness. Discipline has taken some punishing and frowned upon behaviors have upped the ante.
You don’t find anything wrong in that…do you? After all it’s rest, respite and work at will…no boundaries, no godforsaken tantrums, no frayed tempers! It feels like you’ve got everything under the sun!
But if you find yourself struggling with the pivot to work-from-home especially when you are completely disconnected from work at the end of the day, then in all probability you’d feel all screwed up. What if your workstead has chosen a hybrid employment model where you spend part of your time working from home and part in Office. Better work-life balance, less commute stress, location independence improved inclusivity, minimized distraction; there are 20 different reasons that your boss could rattle off to advocate the benefits of remote working. You try fitting in like always but wouldn’t find the foothold.
Are you the one to give up on team building events and could endure endless unmotivated sessions? Unmonitored performance, increased likelihood of overworking, distractions at home, lesser perks, increased isolation; everything makes it tough to turn off. The laptop at your kitchen table beckons and you may not feel enough separation between your work and life. This all would contribute to feeling of being overwhelmed or even burnout. And, above allโฆ.
People donโt believe youโre actually working!!
Image source: ‘Working from home: The good, the bad, and the ugly’ in humanresourceonline.net on Jun.22, 2020.
Letโs be real, no matter where youโre working from, youโre still doing just that; Working. Honestly it all comes down to the environment youโre most effective in. But if your workstead promotes WFH it is not for the sake of some classic benefits of telecommuting. Itโs more about a great opportunity to dig deep in to the market. Remote work is the new cool for it saves your boss from 6 different costs, gets the work done round the clock, enhances branding, parks pre-trained employees for no extra strings and a lot more. Biggest surprise!!… He could be saving up to 50% on operational costs, 15-25% on assets and up to 31% reduction in health insurance spends. Another big-wig here… smart savings is done on energy-printers, laptops, cooling systems, lighting etc. as well. So donโt fool yourself with narratives surrounding remote work.
Besides your work place at home would never sport a garden view!!
Being stranded with an ill suited job always has some serious fallout. Your personality becomes a twisted image of you. Itโs no place for you to return if it incites a bottom line mentality in you. Say no to pressure cooker environment. Even if you are somewhat less conscientious and not so passionately obsessive about work; WFH settings would still harm you.
Feeling at sea and donโt know how to let go your jammed session with this new project? and what with the Netflix hollering all the time; “You still have 3 episodes of โIce piercerโ to watch”!
My word!
Return to a place that spares you a high degree of independence, choice, self direction and belonging. Stop being chased.
Feature credits:’Welcome back to the Office” by The Executive Centre in youtube.com on Oct.19, 2020.
On a brighter note!…
In bargain youโll find yourself some small doses of happiness that you didnโt know you needed until now.
If youโre reading this with some indifference and donโt feel inclined to hear whatโs about to come next, then odds are that your life has lost sparkle and you donโt think of yourself as good enough to thrive or at least start from timidly flat to something more exciting!!
Does this mean no โsweet spots โfor you ?
Yup! You certainly are stuck somewhere in life or at work.
Thatโs nothing strange; to find asking yourself if this is how youโd imagined your life; if this was the kinda job you really wanted. You are feeling low, restless with nothing to wink at; all sad and alone in your world. But then itโs Ok to be like that! This is your moment to gather your wits and push forward. Besides it’s nearly an universal experience . We all get our share of anguish of being alone and glued to the past once in a while. Career, relationship or even whatโs coming next! – most people do get frozen at some point or the other!
Image source: Getty images.
So, what being stuck looks like! Howโd you know lifeโs been mugging you? Wouldn’t something new – a new job, relationship or tweaked health for instance, put you in the stride and shine up your life?
For me being stuck and feeling peevish means really wanting something and then losing the motivation to get it! Itโs like you put your finger onto something that looks exciting and then you talk yourself out of it. It would also mean endlessly thinking about what could be better or different; if it could be done in a more gainful way .
If you’re mired in any of these; it seems indecision, worry and over thinking has robbed you of everything terrific and likable in life. In fact life has lost all sheen for you.
The truth about being stuck
Being stuck is like quicksand. The more you try to get out, the deeper you sink. Your insecurity is on overdrive and asking your mind to push, control and manipulate. You just want to feel secure, loved, appear remarkable and admired everywhere. You think that if you could control everything, all would be swell. But itโs not until the reality hits you right in the face that misadventure happens for you. You get stuck because you think you should be something you are not and when you think life ought to be different than it is.
What of me! At times when I feel truly stuck, I write.
As I write this, I find myself in a stuck period as well since the last few months. But I donโt cry foul! I struggle less because Iโve learned to let it be. I try not to do something silly when words like โshould,โ โhave to,โ or โmustโ fluster me. When I relax and surrender to the quietness of life, things seem okay. Restless!…I see I canโt control life. I can only notice things what life brings to me.
Feature credits: ‘ 10 Things To Remember When Youโre Feeling Stuck In Life’ by The Law Of Attraction in youtube,com on Jul.28, 2016.
Being stuck sometimes is all about growing naturally. Itโs the time when not much happens when you think it should. These are the moments when you begin to grind yourself to come up with ideas to make things happen.
And when you couldnโt get anywhere, I call it being stuck!
Letโs find you a happy place
Remembering good olโ days is harmless but becoming stuck there completely? Thatโs an entirely different story. This means you donโt feel inspired and find it difficult to get excited about things that used to earlier!
Maybe youโre ghosting a failed relationship; maybe you havenโt forgiven yourself for something awful of your past. Youโre continually going over that and wondering if you could have done things differently. Maybe youโre holding onto something terrible from your childhood that doesnโt serve you.
Or maybe something elseโฆ.
Regardless of how you are stuck, you at least earn yourself the agony of not enjoying your present! And that’s awful and sad!
So, why does this happens in the first place?
Missing amour proper, sinking self worth, clueless and FOMO; all are the core reasons why people feel stuck. Unhappy with present life, nerves raw and taught over some issue or perhaps fearful of futureโฆany or all may stand in your way to be more comfortable, safe and predictable!
If you suspect that youโve cronied your past long enough to be anything but comfortable, these five mindful tips could help you to climb out of the slump and start moving forward again!
Image source: Getty images.
Dismiss the noise
You can hardly miss this one. Itโs silent; its impact powerful and itโs savage enough to keep you stuck in the same place. I often see people who have surrendered to this dear emotion willingly; the voices that they allow in and let them collide with their judgment. It could be your momโs who loves you dearly but wonโt want you to risk anything for something; it might be a dear friend who with all good intents steers you away from a great opportunity because he doesnโt want to see you fail.
Sometimes we let the voices of the people we love and care about, impact our choices. And itโs Ok!…so long as you can decide which one matters most in the situation before you let it sink in; what voices are going to help you get unstuck and which one would make you go bust. Ignoring those who love you most and could help you get you unstuck fast, though is the worst mistake you could ever make.
Itโs a weird world out there and they are your best options to ride through safely.
So, simply choose carefully how much you should weigh their thoughts and opinion. Filter out what doesnโt serve right away and hang on to the voice that does!
Change your mind about anything and everything
Standing at the base of the mountain youโre about to climb and looking upwardsโฆthat looks formidable but only until youโre half way up. Looking down then doesnโt seem that disastrous. Your perspective changes and suddenly youโre excited about having won half the battle.
When feeling stuck, something close to this happens; your perspective gets stuck. You may be assessing and trying to salvage something from your past experiences, but sometimes you just couldnโt do much to give it a new look; the fear of failing the heights is frightening! Youโre easily scared to hell to experiment!
But what if you chose to dig in instead of being a dead meat and try to learn of something new? The moment you begin to think differently, the stuck feeling begins to fade. It doesnโt melt altogether, but it starts to feel soft and yielding.
And now you can figure out what to do next!
Those nightmares are dreadful!
Unease and the shakes are all part of growing up normally. But being buried in them for long, isnโt. So when youโre uncertain and fear the unknown- take a moment off, breathe in long and sift through the snag. Search, whatโs causing the sulk? Is it real or some phantom playing in your head? Is it actually trying to tell you something?
Fear, for most of us works like a catalyst. It startles our intuition awake when itโs time to take action; when we need to do something we havenโt done before or in a long time and we sense that something better lies out there. All we need is to go to the other side and find it.
So, what if instead of stepping back from fear, you walk towards it and push through? Take control of your worst nightmares for they are the one who have held you back. Once you do that all those moments of screwed up craziness –so dismissive or cruel– wouldn’t dare mock you. Suddenly you won’t be feeling valley low any longer!
And when that happens; you are all prepped to define yourself once again.
Isnโt that what you were looking for in the first place?
Talking to someone you love, helps
At one time or the other, we all get stuck and it doesnโt help either to know that this will not be the last time. So whenever your present freezes in your past and everything sucks…try talking to someone who loves you; not just anyone, but someone who’s close to heart. No one else would give an earful or could provide a safe space for you.
Being seen, heard and understood is something we all would die for; only an adoring admirer could remind you of your strengths and dreams.
We are tempted to change tracks in our stuck today when someone we love, looks us in the eye and shares and celebrates our dreams. Itโs then the haze lifts and the picture of what lies ahead begins to take shape.
Hold tight and think easy
That will give you some more room to grow!
We all want good times, sunny successes and happy relationships to come easy even when we all know that thatโs not entirely true. Dismay and chagrin usually fluster our attempts to be happy all the times. So, instead of wondering why things happen with difficulty, learning how to overcome them, matters! Nothing worthwhile comes without a struggle and you can gain so much wisdom in trying times than in ease!
See…It is the edge of our discomfort zone that lets us find our greatness.
And donโt forgetโฆ every failure is a lesson and every mistake a moment to learn!!
Image source: Getty images.
Like I said, we look to others to help us get unstuck, but search yourself!…isnโt that a complete waste of time? The only person who can liberate you –is you. Even when the empathy and generosity of others feels like a gift, the action for the win – all starts with us. No one else but you have to do the works to light up your life.
So, sit back, take a hard look at whatโs making you feel grounded and promise to push yourself no matter what!
Believe me โstuck is a good place to be in, for it gets you to know that there is something better on the other side!!
Image source: ‘Bacteria: The miracle microbes that could fix planet’ by Collin Barras in sciencefocus.com on Sep.02,2020,
This is freakin’ crazy!…Am I more microbe than human and never alone? Is it really freakโn true? Sounds nuts!…. but I think I did read somewhat on these lines in my graduation; like human cells make up only 43 percent of bodyโs total cell count and the rest are microscopic colonists; our cells are outnumbered by 10 to one…blah-blah-blah whatever. Itโs creepy, but understanding the other half of our selves might be the key to even stranger mysteries!
โWhy, our body isn’t just us and never alone? Why genetically we are more outgunned than believed? What it means to be โhumanโ if we are only half of what we really are?
From simple allergies to spooky Parkinsonโs, every nook and cranny of our lives is hostage to these teeny-weeny nano-sized creatures. And we just couldnโt get rid of them, no matter how well we wash ourselves. Every crevice, every fissure and every chink on our bodies is swarming with these intrepid life forms.
We live by and stay surrounded by these tiny suckers even when we cannot see them with naked eyes. Andโฆ.they are everywhere; on our keyboard, on our pillows on our favorite chair,stuff and above all, inside us!
The smallest living organisms ever known, some live on us and some within us. And know what, itโs considered Ok! So long as these critters are inclined and obliging, we could stay healthy, but once tables turn and a microbiome shift happens, our bodies become a battleground of sorts.
Do you have any idea why these bugs live in our body? Are there any hostile micro biomes too? What are those 20 odd million microbial genes doing in our body? In fact who lives most on our bodies?
A ghost safari to the battleground!
Our body is an enormous ecosystem hosting different biomes swarming with microbes and helps them flourish. Many of these invisible warriors are good for our health. Not only that; this army from microbial mecca abets droves of viruses, fungi and archaea (a kind of single cell organism) living within us as well. Together, they uphold the key to a longer flourishing life for us!
So if you thought you were some kind of epitome of sterility, think again. Your gut is home to some of the smuttiest of pathogens and your skin, mouth, lungs and even genitals shelter their diverse communities. The biggest of these rhyme zones lies deep in murky depths of your colon where trillions inhabit in union with their surroundings. Here they break down dietary fiber, produce crucial nutrients like butyrate and keep your gut up, clean and healthy 24/7.
Always in a curiously creepy relationship, these teeming pathogens have peacefully evolved over the time and have been our most lovable companion ever since, executing all important role in rallying digestion and shoring up our immune system.
Feature credits: ‘ Nearly half of you is not human, it’s made of microbes’ by Hashim Al-Ghaili in youtube.com on Jul.04, 2020.
Living with an attitude!
There are lots of places on our body for them to live. Itโs like a jungle to them. Right from skin and tooth, nostrils and tongue, tonsils and lungs and belly button to dark corners of your gut and genitalia; itโs a home to every one of them!
Many species live in harmony live with us and within us and promote health. For instance our gastrointestinal health is right in their hands. Any dysbiosis or slightest shift in the gut microbiome and all hell breaks loose.
And guess what? โฆthis is true for other areas of your body as well.
This is where it gets confusingโฆ
An over indulgence into burgers and chocolates in all likelihood affects your risk of obesity and the type of microbes that grow in your gut. So how would you know if it is a bad mix of bugs breaking down and soaking up your food and wouldnโt add inches to your belly?
Seriously; nobody has the right answers to this. โBugs for Drugsโ might take some time to happen. Till then if youโre really interested in finding out what haunts your belly and bowels, a microbiome test (Ohmygutยฎ) test might get an overview of who youโre living with. If you could follow personalized food recommendations, this might of some help in enhancing your microbial well being!
But then there are lots of places in you for bugs to live and thrive inโฆ.
Image source: ‘Bacteria on green background. Prokaryotic microorganisms. Bacillus. Illustration’ in unsplash.com.
And I thought I was pristine and clean!
The bugs on my skin
Good olโ skin or the integument is home to some meaningful bugs that protect us from invaders and marauders amongst them and support our immune system. Some produce molecules to drive off potentially harmful microbes from colonizing the skin making it a physical barrier. A few others like Staphylococcus epidermisproduce anti microbial compounds to stave off something serious like skin cancer. Acne linked bacteria however donโt help much.
My eyes donโt shine alone
Like skin, eyes do not fare any better when it comes trading benefits. An ideal habitat, microbes find comfort in my cornea and the tissue on the inside of the eyelid. Relatively small, any imbalance in this microbiome results in dry eye disease and endophthalmitis or bacterial conjunctivitis.
I could smell them!
Dark warm and damp,my nose is just the perfect place for microbes and is very sensitive to faltering microbial homestead. Shaped by different factors just like gut bugs, nose microbiome is re-engineered by changing environment of the host and is affected by medical conditions. Dysbiosis here could be the reason why asthma, chronic rhinosinusitis, influenza, and bronchiolitis happen headlong and yet are curable with certitude.
Keepers to my tonsils
Tonsils, when invaded by stray bugs-fight infection by trapping assaulting microbes that enter through mouth or nasal passage and producing antibodies to kill them. A diverse ecosystem of microbes at their disposal helps them do this job. Adenotonsilla microbiome may have different contagions for children and adults; but why it couldnโt ward off bacterial tonsillitis, is yet to be discovered.
Wax, bugs and infections- my ear is home to each one of them
The middle ear is a safe haven to a diverse community of thriving microbes which when out of buggy could wreak havoc in ear; infections, inflammations and other hard pushed complaints. Both genetics and microbiome could add considerably to the risk of middle ear infections and consequential painful days.
But what happens inside me is more bewildering!…
Lots happening here!
Right from my school days, Iโve been stuck up with some good dental hygiene regimen. I brush twice a day…no smells, not hooked to any addictions and I check scrupulously if it smells bad in my mouth before going to bed! Yet at times my belly too groans, sharp pain pangs from toothache would send me into an overdrive and sometimes I get laid with fever from tonsillitis! Iโm not sparedโฆAnd I thought I knew everything about sterility.
But certainly not this!
My mouth is a den to plenty of microbes, some good, some not so good and could explain things like inflammation and tooth decay.
The oral cavity or the muzzle- as geeks call it, is a perfect territory for microbes to thrive; all warm, moist with an endless source of nutrients pouring in, plus plenty of structures and hiding places to stick to; the tongue, pockets between the gums and teeth and of course the teeth themselves. Let them have fun and Streptococcus mutanswould run amok and devastate your ivory while Porphyromonasgingivalis could have your gums bleeding and crying foul!
Sometimes these bugs travel down elsewhere in the body like gut and lungs and when that happens dysbiosis strikes hard.
When it comes to bugs, my breath is no different
Once thought of as a sterile environment, lungs are now known to have their own small microbiome; much smaller than the one that the gut holds because the lungs do not have the same kind of hem or sheathing to adhere to. Rather they ease oxygenation through a surfactant that is designed to facilitate the transfer.
Red flags! Itโs time to see an urologist
Like the lungs, bladder too is not as sterile and bacteria-free as I believed it to be. While little is known about the mysteries surrounding microbiome here in urine pouch, there is still no evidence if bugs here could rig out a protective barrier for my health. Visible haematuria, spinal cord compression or progressive neurologic dysfunction, wellโฆ these are of particular concern since I wouldnโt know what Iโm fighting with; rampaging bugs or some cross purpose therapeutic condition!
Image source: ‘Your body is mostly microbes’ by Tina Hesman Saey in sciencenews.org on Dec.20,2013.
So, next time you get anxious about your well being and have an urge to inspect yourself, start with your belly button; the soft spot. Though there a number of places you could begin with,the center of your stomach could reveal much offhand.
Rememberโฆ! โThe Incas believed that Cuzco was the navel of the universeโ.
For instance, if it smells a bit ripe, itโs the umbilical microbiome โpassed on to you with your first breath, that has found itself a cozy homestead and is likely to stay with you till you live. Weirdly, it could be any or many of the 2368 different species that inhabit your navel, reacting and interacting with your body and not always in battle with it.
It’s incredible to think that the DNA of these superbugs carries more information than it would take literally a ton of DVDs to store for medical accomplishments.
Seeโฆ didnโt I say, you are never alone in an eerie world of microbes!!...
Are you a fitness freak working for a rawbone or losing sleep over a lean sylphlike waist and seeing no results? What about those crash diets; still no gains?
Youโll probably hit the most success when you junk sin foods from your routine and start your day with healthy foods that do not cut out anything important. What kind of benefits youโre looking at here? Wellโฆthese slimming super foods are good at melting away that last inch of belly bloat like whoaโฆ
Image source: Roman Odintsov in pexels.com.
Some days, you’re a kale smoothie-guzzling, bok choy-chopping freak, while on others you’re drooling over a candy bowl. But adding these incredible foods to your diet, donโt help much in getting toned and tight!
Interestinglyโฆthe way our body works is bit confusing. Hunger is what decides for it to holler for energy, but by the time it tells you that, itโs already deficient and gone wild. That emptiness and growing pangs are in fact itโs last ditch attempt to convince you to eat.
Many of us consume the bulk of our food in two or three large meals a day and go long hours with nothing in between. This reducedโcalorie- three- meal plan sounds good but you canโt make your body burn fat any more efficiently than it does of its own! Every core exercise you try isn’t always a do-gooder. Your abs may refuse to grow and your potbelly may just decide not to give up!
So, does this mean that you should stay ahead of the curve and eat even before your belly starts growling? What kinda food would work best? And what if you running short on time? Is a four-ounce chicken breast, a small baked potato and a jumpy salad good enough to craft you a winsome body?
Hard to tellโฆHuh!
Sometimes my gut also screams, โfeed me nice and good!โ; especially on holidays and weekends. Honestly I love vegan food more than anything else but I balance my love for eating plants with need to keep my body equally supplemented, so that something wholesome and nutritious always finds its way into my belly.
If you too are looking for some healthy food without giving up on your winning routine; check out on these eight simple super eats that can thaw away that last bit of your beer belly in 2022!
Hereโs the sticky widget though;
While spot-reducing belly fat is not exactly possible, eating fewer calories than you burn might earn you an overall weight lossโand that includes your belly.
But what the heck!… consider this as your go-to list for good health; at least.
Roasted mushroom and bean soup.
Image source: ‘White bean and roasted mushroom soup recipe’ by Amy Johnson in shewearsmanyhats.com.
This white bean and roasted mushroom soup- an ageless classic- has ruled the charts on She Wears Many Hats ever since originally published in October 2011. The magical partying of pureed white beans and broth base instead of cream and roasted onions, garlic and herbs, is a guilt free gratification for those chasing a simple wholesome stuff!
I donโt think anything else could warm you more than this savory, drool-inducing tang of this consommรฉ.
And itโs so very worth it. Served alongside a simple salad with crusty bread, it makes for a perfect day. Looking for a vegetarian version? Simply swap veggies broth with chicken one. Bonus here!…You also get to substitute one part to three of dried herbs as you head into colder months when seasonings are hard to get by.
Black Bean Omelet
Image source: ‘Black Bean Omelets with Salsa Verde’ in goya.com.
Coffee sure does perk you up in the morning. But if you pair it with sugary cereal, bagels, or donuts, you’re very likely to stay starry eyed and listless for the rest of the day. These empty carbs taste good on the tongue, but do little for your body. Instead fill your morning meal with some healthy complex alternative that would leave you feeling energized!
Simply put, it’s all about picking a high protein fiber packed food that would promise good nutrients to your body.
I begin my day with a wholesome breakfast; be it the one thatโs on-the-go list for rush days or a more relaxed oversized gut bomb for weekend brunch. Which would you prefer; a pricey spinach omelet, packing nearly 1000 cals or a simple affordable 330 cals high protein, fiber packed omelet sandwiching black beans and cheese?
A black bean omelet is sure to make you feel satisfied and keep you full for hours. The soluble fiber helps lower your cholesterol, keep you regular and set your taste buds a โjingling! Refried black beans set off by chunks of ripe fried tomatoes, savory onions and cilantro, leave one smacking good after-taste that would have you wanting more of it.
Try it! Your palate will thank you.
Grilled Chicken Pineapple Sandwich
Image source: ‘Teriyaki Chicken Sandwich’ by Shelly in frugalfamilyhome.com.
This grilled chicken and pineapple sandwich is your best bet if you are a health freak. Not even the healthy genre of grilled sandwiches that beckon you invitingly each time you pass by the neighborhood rotisserie, are a close match to it.
Packing a mouth watering punch in every bite, this sandwich is a sweet-spicy combination of teriyaki glazed chicken, juicy grilled pineapple, fiery jalapenos and is a great reduction in your daysโ saturated fat and sodium intake. An end to all flattering chicken sandwiches, this one with 400 cals and 640 mg of sodium gets you the best of both the worlds; a little sweet here a little spicy there! The sandwich with a whole wheat bun comes to you super balanced with lean proteins and high fiber carbs.
Trust me; take a shot and surely you wonโt miss the fried version at all once you sink your teeth into this blast of flavors.
Chicken Tikka Masala
Image source: ‘Authentic chicken tikka masala recipe’ in nishkitchen.com.
Traditionally cooked in clay tandoor and then served in a subtly spiced tomato cream sauce with a dash of dried herbs, coconut milk, ginger and lemon and greek yogurt; this marinated boneless chicken dish is an absolute belter and is a popular fare in curry houses from right across the East End bistros of โCurry Laneโ in London to โCuminsโ in Chicago,โIndigoโin Budapest to โLe Palaise de Raja Maharajaโ at rue dโOuessant Paris. This all time fan-favorite is a must dig for diners all across South and South East Asia.
The creamy spicy sauce made with Greek yogurt instead of full fat cream, is insanely good and the soft marinated chicken tastes just divine! The meal gets complete with some turmeric rice and fresh naan.
It’s simply… cozy , fabulous and finger lickinโ good!
Grilled Caesar Salad
This perhaps is the most misleading food; itโs kinda dish that you order when you want to go easy with your food, only to find out that you have ended up eating almost half of your dayโs calories in one serve!
Feature credits: Kitchenstories.com
A classic eat, this salad boasts of a savory combination of crisp romaine (a variety of lettuce), rich and garlicky dressing, crunchy croutons and an enticing pungent tang of Parmesan cheese. High calorie dressing however,transforms into lighter vinaigrette packing an awesome substance, flavor and nutrition of sun dried tomatoes and olives in it. Char- grilled lettuce brings some happy change and perk up everything.
The salad preps quickly and easily with simple ingredients like boneless and skinless chicken thighs that stay juicy all through and cook quickly.
To think of this as volte-face nutrition! 410 calories, 29 gms fat and 610 mg sodium per serve! What more could you ask for?…
Try it and surely you won’t be digging into anything else anymore!
Rajma Dal
Image source: ‘Rajma masala’ by Kiran Afzal in curiouscuisiniere.com on Dec.12, 2020,
If actionable tips and cook videos from โThe Spruce Eats-NYโ are any cue then this high and hearty red kidney beans curry with a mesmerizing blend of spicy masala, ginger, garlic, chilies and tomatoes is a rustic vegetarian dish that comes cheap, is nutritious, comforting and one satisfying comfort food that could easily humble any menu item any time. A delightful vegetarian curry dish, it savors great over rice and pickled vegetables.
If youโre looking for some indulgent healthilicious dish that could come together in less than half an hour, this one-pan cook makes for an excellent choice. Served with kachumbar salad and pickle as sides, this 232 calories unsophisticated eat has managed some space in Stock Images and Shutter stock collections too.
Palak Paneer
Another hot favorite among foodies! This mildly flavored super food is super healthy and tastes great when served with a side of basmati rice. The star of the dish is the creamy sauce, which is made out of blanched spinach blended with an amazing medley of spices. Complimenting the sauce are shallow fried cubes of paneer (Indian cottage cheese). The healthy spinach gravy is sautรฉed with finely balanced curry spices in aromatic ghee to up the ante!
Image source: ‘Palak Paneer’ in awesomecuisine.com.
Simple but irresistible, this dish has the punch to satisfy absolutely all taste buds! If cheese is not on hand or youโre looking for a dairy free option, tofu or veggies like cauliflower or potato will taste just as good. You may even ask for whole yogurt in place of heavy cream for the sauce to make it lighter.
This food may not be totally main stream yet, but thereโs one good reason to incorporate this extremely nutrient rich leafy gem into your regular diet. Packed with high levels of carotenoids, Vitamin-C, Vitamin-K, Folic acid, Iron and Calcium, itโs a warehouse to some amazing compounds like lutein ( improves eye health), kaempferol( reduces risk of cancer and chronic diseases) nitrates( promotes heart health), quercetin (wards off infection and inflammations) and zeaxanthin( helpful in impaired vision).
So, next time you get hungry and crave for a scrumptious healthy meal, dig into a warm comforting bowl of spinach paneer curry with equally delicious garlic naan or jeera rice or plain basmati rice. Side of a red onion salad adds zing to a super delicious hearty happy fill.
Italian Stuffed Artichokes
There is really nothing quite like an artichoke. Whether you’re eating the hearts as part of an antipasto platter or in a spinach artichoke dip, their flavor is quite unlike any other food.
Image source: ‘italian stuffed artichokes’ in garlicandzest.com.
Tender, herby with perfect amount of zest, stuffed artichoke is one prebiotic food that helps keep things moving through your gut. Trimmed and stuffed with garlicky breadcrumbs and baked in a buttery lemon and white wine sauce until tender, this super eat is an all time favorite and admired as an interactive food that has a distinct start, middle and an end! Like onions and leeks, artichokes also carry acetate that spurs the fat-burning activity in the body.
Need more of greens and taste? Roast artichoke hearts and asparagus with olive oil, Parmesan cheese, breadcrumbs, and a spritz of lemon. And if youโre any good at experimenting, try stuffing your ‘choke with quinoa, tomatoes and herbs and see some fascinating taste unfold on your platter.
Considering people at all phases of life are under-consuming iron and fiber and proteins and other lesser known serious nutrients, the benefits of cruising through your day with all-natural version eats, goes beyond these eight delightful melt-off foods. There are hundreds of sin food recommendations to cut back on your calorie consumption heavily. But there is no super eat that could increase your lifespan, help you feel full, clear up your complexion, control your cholesterol and reduce your risk for cancer, diabetes and heart disease?
All you could do is to mix and match foods to meet your daily quota without going easy on your weight loss plan.
And youโll definitely have to let go of that Achilles heel; the one food that you canโt seem to help yourself digging into!
Image source: ‘People often avoid feeling compassion for others, feel it’s a lot of effort’in keralakaumudi.com on Sep.01, 2021.
On that hot sultry summer afternoon in Kolkata, I found myself running through the ever crowded Howrah railway station, convinced I was about to miss my train this one time.
My anxiety surged at the sight of a long baggage security line. I was about to give up entirely, when luckily a colleagueโs brother- heโs some bigwig in there- saw me and ushered me to the front. At that moment I didnโt care how the waiting passengers felt about this privileged treatment. I donโt even remember much about the people I encountered during that nerve wracking afternoon. I was thinking only about catching that damn train and getting home, a thousand miles away.
In short my empathy graph had plummeted as my anxiety feared its worst hit.
Many would explain this episode by linking my jitters to narcissism, but I consider it differently. I find it a clash between apprehensions and sensitivity. Or maybe itโs the fear and shame of failure that overshadowed the disappointment of missing the ride!
Like everybody I too hate to fail, but then Iโve another skill to call it shotsโฆ I have a natural capacity for empathy and I swear itโs not like some fixed trait. My genes might have played some role in here. I think I inherited it through some great combinations of experiences and relationshipsโฆ childhood care-givers matter most!!
But it isnโt wrong to say that just as the fear of failure mars the motivation to succeed; your compassion also takes a beating when you are burdened with emotions and anxiety. It unconsciously sabotages your chances of success in a variety of ways. If you have a compassionate bend, you might find yourself deluged with emotions of those around you. When they are happy, you are caught up in their joy; when they are sad; you carry their emotional burden too.
But there is something else besides this that might surprise you! High empathy and anxiety have some unforgiving analogy in between. And you cannot trust either of them entirely for your emotional well being.
Hereโs to share something about that strange connection between them and few bonus tips to keep an eye on your emotional health;
Feature credits: ‘Offer Empathy’ by Genevieve Chesney in Youtube.com on Jan.30, 2016.
Want to share but donโt know if youโre ready for it!
When you hear the word-empathy, what strikes your mind? Understanding oneโs pain? Feeling bad for another person or perhaps giving a shoulder to lean on?
Yupโฆthose are the things that help in times of distress. But what about empathizing with oneโs joy? It sounds alien or perhaps absurd; but believe me caring for yourself is about happiness too.
If itโs any comfort to know; our neural responses are more accustomed to feeling oneโs pain more than being happy for someone. This is rather more intense when we empathize distress. We cry feeling more about otherโs pain than laugh and love feeling happy for someone. We all have this wonderful ability to respond to difficult challenges of others, but react faintly to otherโs joy.
So, can we somehow tutor ourselves to be happy for others as well? Would that make this world any better place to live in?
I tried it cautiously hesitant of the outcome, but it did help. I think this might be the choice you should make a head start with!
When someone brings me some news about something good happening in their lives, I hug that person or at least touch his or her arm in an appropriate way. I look the person in the eye and ask everything about the happy event. I share the joy of goodness happening in someoneโs life and donโt hold back anything in expressing it. I share the vibes and could almost feel mirth tingle down my neck! I feel happy to see them stokedโฆ
Reaching out to someone in happy times and partaking, helps in conquering your fears. Andโฆit shores up your aplomb as well!
Try me and witness anger, anxiety and disgust giving way to surprise and pride.
Image source: ‘How the Highly Empathetic Can Avoid Absorbing Others’ Stress’ by Jessica Stillman in inc.com.
Being real about how you feel helps!
If I were to judge compassion, Iโd say itโs a higher state of awareness. In an empathetic state of mind, I could fully experience the anger and wrath of someone who has been wronged. I could even go beyond feeling sorry for what someone else feels. I simply couldnโt keep my head and heart closed for trouble, indignation and nightmares and prefer to see through the present situation with understanding and love.
When we are in a conflict with someone or face something challenging, owning our fears and insecurity is one great way to move past our defensiveness and take a call on deeper issues of the situation; Iโd say, more buckled up.
You may not know, but doing this lets you empathize yourself no less. The more you are willing to imagine what itโs like for them, the more of it youโd be able to experience yourself.
Shell shocked and stewed? Brainstorm your way out of chronic stress
Failure makes us feel both fear and shame. On the brighter side, it preps us to find people whom we can trust and with whom we can share our emotions. Once you will yourself to brainstorm your way out of the heat; relabel and play down your stress and save yourself from vandalizing your sunny side. Besides, reassurance and empathy from others would reinforce your feeling of self-worthwhile.
Getting peevish and judgmental already?… Take a break and for a moment imagine a possible scenario as creepy as this! โฆ
You have lost your job in pandemic and desperately searching for a new one. Yet you ainโt getting it and keep failing in finding it just because you donโt know “the right people,. โ You are at your wits end and reeling with hard time stress.
If you think you failing to make some ground and are clueless how to go about it; start with some small but powerful choices to hit the frame. Begin by setting up for yourself the goal of expanding your social network. Reach out to everyone you know who might help. Even if they are not in your field and couldnโt do much, they might know someone who could.
Seeโฆ the clichรฉโ works well when instead of mourning you put your foot down!
Empathy is all about the ability to feel and reaching out to another personโs emotions and thoughts. It gives meaning to our lives and our relationships. It works well to thaw our emotions out of limbo.
#It might also mean getting a job offer from somebody hitherto stranger to you!
Besides, who would say โNahโ to a decent break from some nerve wracking โFight-or-flightโ episode every time each day?
Feature credits: ‘โ Someone elseโs shoesโ by Blythewood SBO in youtube.com on Nov. 11, 2016.
That day in Kolkata, I caught my train. I also learned something. No one wants to live life in a hurry as if theyโre always late for a train, too stressed to look around or connect with others. Weโre much better off cultivating compassion, rubbing shoulders and accepting that what will be, will be -missing the train journey and all thatโฆ
If you were to ask me to explain empathy as I see it; Iโd say, ” I know exactly how you feelโ Another more jaded one would of course be, ” I know exactly where your shoe pinches mostโ.
I guess I have learned when to ease off the emotional overwhelm and steer clear of becoming a damaged empath.
Like Drake, sometimes I wish if I could go back in times, not to change anything but to feel couple of things twice! I would want more of this dangerous, jazz-shaped immortality for myself!
Life sucks and it definitely is not a cakewalk. If it were, wouldnโt we all be rich, sipping a classic mimosa on our ocean front property? But even when itโs true that I donโt or ever will own a beach house, doesnโt mean that my some 50-ish years have been hard-only. Loads of little things have inundated my life- improving everyday of it without totally breaking the barriers. From miniature vacuums to bedside night lights to heated lunchboxes, shower liners with handy pockets, and even a shampoo brush to massage my scalp, these endless options havenโt failed me few clever moments of sweet happiness. But the phantom in me, pines for more. There’s this stain remover that works so well on red wine, that I forgot; I think I can hear it calling my name.
Letโs face it; Life isnโt easy and glee and all that; but you know what is?
Itโs almost a year since I started to catalogue list of things that I wished I had lots of them in life. I called it ;โThings I wish I had more of themโ. I initially came up with some boring things about life, career and relationships; things that Iโd learned over the years and gathered from mentors, books, friends and people close to my heart. But later some better stuff filtered in; good choices like love, happiness, contentment trumped everything else.
I created it to remind myself of useful things that mattered; probably more so because it kept my hope alive to relive them someday.
A year later I still read it a few times each day and wait for crazy things to happen!!
What do I wish I havenโt had enough? What could I offer myself back again with what I have learned over the past years? Of course, this is an idea that people play around with in their minds; and quite often realize that an upbeat past has the genius to turn things around for some good in present as well. So, why not wish for it?
Unable to warp back in time? Fear not! Youโre not scammedโฆ
If you are someone like me, let me recommend a few out of my own list that I wish for more. Itโs Ok if I couldnโt wake up to a wish fulfilled each morning. I know desires have a cranky way to keep you thinking for the rest of your life about an even stranger scenario; you returning back and reliving them.
Image source: ‘Woman leaning on her table’ by Marcus Aurelius in pexels.com
Wish I could do exciting things once again
Funnily; itโs not about success or even remotely about happiness! Itโs about doing things that are exciting. In my declining year, I still want to be a 25yr old jaunty good looking beau, gleefully chasing some hauteโ damsel from neighborhood. I want us to climb the trees, jump the wall and beat up all the bully boys when feeling pissed off! I want to live my share of one heartbreak, one true love, one success and one moment of despair again. I donโt want the creaking knees or cringing eyes falter me or the loosening skin shame me. I want to be reminded of all the battles that I survived and the ones that I won.
I want me to be excited. I want to be nubile and mercurial. I want to be foxy, short, sweet and crisp; all at the same time!
Could there be anything more desirable than this?
Image source: ‘Old dirty sneakers on tree’ by Chris F. in pexels.com
Wish I had saved more
Like any young boisterous nerd, when young I was quite mindless about money. I did save and invested but I couldnโt manage to hoard it. Not that I was letting the thought pass by me but I had more exciting things crowding my days. I was getting carried away by the whims of the moment. A few simpler things could have made my present more bullish and upbeat. I could have done so much but didnโt pick up; I simply whizzed past in the fast lane!
Seeโฆwhen you are young you ride the wave of youth. You feel youโre gonna stay young forever. Behaving like a teenybopper I too was equally less impressive and less receptive or perhaps more distracted by less meaningful things! I thought the opportunity to save more will keep on endlessly coming and kept on spending the dime on utterly trivial things.
Why donโt we ever listen to a good advice when we are young? Somehow I feel though that I wouldnโt have listened even to my older 50-ish self then.
Today I wish I could travel back in time and save myself the pain, effort and trouble that I was going to earn for myself later.
If youโre in your mid-20โs and reading this, do yourself a favor; donโt burns the candle at both ends; heed when some good advice heads your way.
Image source: ‘Signboard’ by Monstera in pexels.com.
Wish I had worried less about changing jobs that I didnโt like!
This surely applies to everyone but is more prevalent when youโre a young rookie and Waterloo moment stares you in the face every day of your nine-to-five life. Youโre easily intimidated and influenced by peer pressure, authority and roles models expecting you to behave or not behave in a certain way!
Many of my decisions including the one of staying stuck with one job-it hurt most; was influenced largely by the presumption of how itโd look like to others if I did jump the fence and whether everybody would approve of it.
Today, it all reeks of nonsense…
If I couldnโt get out of my fears or shake off influences then, did I miss something important? Have I lose out on living a happy authentic life? Hell no!… but I could have saved myself from endless hours in a dead-end job that failed my purpose and skills.
For the same reason, I admit that being present in the moment with unfulfilled desires is more difficult than when you are in your 20s. You just canโt fathom the value of being present at that age.
#I wish if I were more present then, so many things would have cut fine today!
Image source: ‘Travel items’ by Nataliya Vaitkevich in pexels.com.
Wish I’d read Wayne Dyer earlier or perhaps get to watch Lady Gaga in concert
Years later, I could begin to understand the power of simple intentions only now. I wish I could size myself with Wayne Dyer…Umm! for no particular reason; but living a life of unlimited abundance and getting into your life the right people at the right time; WellโฆIโll be damned if I couldnโt pick up the idea; something that I needed so much when I was young. So much time, energy and money I wasted on things that only clutter and complicate our lives. I wish I had learned to co create my World my way when young.
Gee whiz!!…I could have done more with so much less.
Okay! Perhaps Wayne had not hit the stands then yet and Iโm not sure about the latter; maybe she took to stage sometimes in late 1980s or whatโฆ I never got the opportunity to read him on the SoNet and neither could I get the chance to see her perform live.
Imagine my 20s!! I couldnโt fathom that they were going to change my life so much later onโฆ
Amid all uncertainties, I wish I ought to have read all the enlightening things being taught in the books then or perhaps seen her perform on screen at least!
Today I watch Lady Gaga getting love from fans for sweet moments with Liza Minnelli at Oscars 2022 on flickering screens. I wish someday Iโd get the opportunity to watch her perform live at Dolbyโs.
But for now I guess, sheโll have to stay in my list of โshould haves.โ
Feature credits: ‘ Run!’ by Proper films in Youtube.com on Sep. 02, 2019.
Life is all about whatโs happening in the present moment. While we wish, want and dream, our real lives are already happening. For me there has never been anything more terrifying than the prospect of dying out and missing out on all of it, because I have been way too busy wishing what more I wanted instead of appreciating what I have.
I wishโฆ
Someday, if I could ever get to meet my younger self face-to-face, the first thing Iโd want to say; โHey, stop worrying. Itโs useless. Life will turn out just fine. But you can make it better by following your heart. And know whatโฆ everything you hope to feel when you get what you wish for, is with you right here, right nowโ
If you think that one day you might find yourself saying; โI wish, I hadโ then by all means do that thing right now! Hopefully youโll never have to look back for things you wish you had accomplished more.
Trust me; it will pay off so long as you consider your wishes as no more than a little vacuumto clean up your everyday mess!!
From moments of pure bliss to โbadass togethernessโ, relationships sometimes flinch. Between valleys and peaks, you are never certain whether or not itโs meant to be what it is. Sure you could work around to fix the rough patch somehow. But will that hold? Will everything be the same as before? At what point should you draw the line between rough times and simply giving up?
Or is it time to say enough is enough?
Like everybody else, I could realize the spoil only when it was too late. But I spared myself the anguish, for I knew itโs never too easy to see it from the inside. Sometimes itโs blindingly true, yet we couldnโt see the red flag or smell the rot.
And surprisingly you couldnโt get to start over againโฆ
Bad things do happen in relationships and the rot might ruin the romance, friendship or just about anything familial. Sometimes it hurts and in your anger or inconsolable grief you feel like lashing out, cursing or yelling to let the world know how bad the hurt is. You may even get to the state where you want everybody to be hurt no less; to make everybody feel the misery no less.
The edge happens only when you find thereโs no time left to reveal your love; to let others know that over the last few months they made your days a bit brighter and helped you heal better from the hurt that others left behind; that they sank into your heart and stayed put. In the midst of impossible, somehow they became your favorite.
But like good and bad times, there are moments when things begin to get out of control. You are clueless; not sure whether to go with it or away from it. You just canโt hug harder any longer.
If any of these signs are persistently a part of your relationship, you have a serious problem to consider. It might have reached a dead-end and this could be the time to let it go peacefully.
Remember though, every tragic of something is the beginning to a fresh start.
Image source: ‘Sad in railway stock photos and images’in 123rf.com.
When enough is enough
Criticism is good; it gives you an opportunity to find your misplaced positives. But even that has a quota. Negative comments feel cruel and so does one nasty word that can silence a million applause. Seeโฆeven the SoNet community works the same way; your fans may have cheered you a thousand times but youโd only remember one single message that tried to run you down.
However, if someone in your life always jumps in to say something about your wins all the time, you have a red flag there too!
I sayโฆ life sucks! but thatโs how it is.
If criticism and negative comments begin to corner your attention… you need a deeper look into whatโs happening around. Is getting out of a messy relationship worth the anguish of parting ways? Sometimes it gets dismissive but severing ties peacefully is more impactful than inflicting emotional damage on yourself.
Seeโฆthere is a pattern of narcissismspecific to each one of us. But even that doesnโt work right all the time. If somebody keeps pushing you constantly and tells you that itโs for your own good so that you may improve; donโt jump for it. If you fall for it youโll always be looking for doses of approval from others which will never come even if you gave your 100%. Some may even pin for your attention and time!
Criticism and negative comments lower your energy and distract your attention. If you do not want to turn yourself into a junkie looking only for approval and adoration, allow yourself a course correction. Simply let go of a relationship that has constrained you all these years.
And remind yourselfโฆyou deserve to live free! So, just let go of the decay.
Feature credits: ‘Letter to a Friend’ by Eddie Pinero in youtube.com on Jul.02, 2019.
No crooning or cocktails!
There is never any dearth of time to change your ideas about the future. Itโs Ok if you are not where you thought youโd be today- you have many tomorrows ahead of you. But the journey is never straight; youโd sometimes outgrow what you once wanted in your connections. It’d feel good if you could realize the extent of your responsibility in the context of relationship, today.
This is your journey and yours alone. So, be wary of the people close to you who would not hesitate to throw in your face the things they did for you. They may have lend you a thousand bucks and say that they saved you from penury; more to make you feel wretched than to value kinship.
I know itโs a profound statement and maybe incorrect for some of you; but thatโs the truth. If the other person needs to hang the medals for having helped you, itโs time to start over afresh. You canโt turn back the clock or delete memories, but you can choose to live quietly in present.
So, itโs time you bid adieu!
Image source: ‘Here Is How You Say Goodbye To Your Forever Person’ by Ariel Quinn in herway.net on Mar.01, 2022.
In the hustle and bustle, trust walks off
When the bad outweighs the good, it usually means hard times have arrived and are likely to stay for a while. If you canโt remember the last time you were happyโฆsurely the problem is deeper than meets the eye!
Arguments in a relationship come with a territory. You are sad and neglected and could sense that something is seriously off, yet couldnโt pin point why. You find a pair of hoop earrings that definitely donโt belong to your mate or wake up each morning staring vacantly at the ceiling fan and think, “How the hell did I get here?” Heโs off to another business trip or you come home to an eerie silence everyday; your phone used to ring off the hook and now all you hear is crickets! You hang in there hoping things to turn around somehow. But with explosive fights, mascara running down the cheeks duels, you know something terrible is waiting to happen.
Essentially, you both have morphed into nasty dinosaurs for each other. You may try to convince yourself that what matters is to live in here and now; but the truth is more savage- you just cannot hide from it.
So, when at the end of the day as you lie down and pat yourself, โWow! We made it a day without fighting,โ, itโs time to get out of the fracas.
Donโt be blind to the obvious and wait to get your heart pummeled. Itโs time to dump those dingy rose colored glasses and get yourself a terrific new pair.
Believe meโฆif you canโt stay civil on vacation in a gorgeous hotel with gorgeous spreads and cocktails and room serviceโฆitโs time to say quits.
Image source: ‘Why is it so hard to say goodbye?’ by Richard in richardcollison.net on Oct.22, 2017.
Many times youโd be tempted to make excuses and stay put in a relationship that has reached its expiration. You keep on hitting the reboot button, frantically hoping that everything will be Ok again. This continues to happen until the next time when the not so funny emotional roller coaster starts all over again. Eventually itโs a Joe No-Show and you could feel the cold feet. This means that both of you have flaked out and lost each other for good.
You may not be ready to face itโฆbut thatโs fear talking. Donโt let it rule your life. So listen to your instincts, trust your guts and stop working for a relationship that has jumped the fence. Itโs time to admit that your future with the other person isnโt on the radar.
Should this happen, start taking care of you and break into a happier life. Value your needs, wants, and most importantly, yourself. Without depleting yourself, step out into a life that you truly deserve. Think of yourself twenty or thirty years from now and merit yourself by doing the right thing.
Above all stay away from people who will sooner or later leave you stranded.
Overworked and worn yourself to a shadow, you’re struggling to jazz up! Youโve even tried to fix fatigue by hitting the sack more oftenโ only to wake up more exhausted. If thatโs you, hereโs the secret: Sleep and rest are not the same thing, as many incorrectly confuse the two; ; yet one wonโt come without the other either!
Image source: ‘Weary housewife with mop resting on rug at home’ by SHVETS productions in pexels.com.
Itโs 7.00 am and dogs and diaries are all lined up for the day. But more than feeling energized, everything is pissing me off. In no less the same way brothers would hurl nuclear weapons at each other and get out unscathed, I snap at nobody in particular;
โWhy the hell do we get to face another day uninvited?โbut her around, then in a more resigned tome;
โSuppose Iโll have to make do with what I getโ.
She ignores me and tersely retorts; โWhat this Putin is doing? Have you been following the news?You know what; I canโt get him, Zelenski or the war out of my headโ.
I remembered; we were talking about the war in East Europe last evening.
โOh really!… Iโm sure heโs very concerned about your opinionโ, I chide softly.
โShut upโ, she admonishes. โWouldnโt he know how to stand up to his credo?After all heโs no comedian actor turned President like Zelenskiโ.
True; the world we live in, itโs the jesters and jerks making big, who hit the headlines more often trying to make the most sense these days.
I sigh and decide not to snap back. I feel tired and worn out.
Yesterday, it was a holiday and Iโve had a late afternoon slump; went to bed early. Yet, this morning I donโt feel rested; the surge of well being is simply not there.
I grumble and whimperโฆ Guess, I am yet to give in to the frustrating truth about R&R.
Why else would you want a proper break if youโre not feeling tired, gutted and need it?
Uh-Oh!! Who am I kidding?
You already know it! Take regular breaks throughout the work day; sitting long hours at desk is worse than jabbing yourself with an Ebola-infected syringe; eating lunch at your work station is a sinโฆblah blah. You are aware and so you should get up frequently, yoga poses would help, nip of fresh air in the park- perhaps even a power napโฆ
All this aims to make you happier, more productive. Who knows. some day you may even decide to leave for Office earlier with enough gusto to spare.
But actually you donโt do any of theseโฆdo you?
Instead you surf face book; read blogs, watch extensively crazy youtube video and all the while munch peanuts for no reason; all the while miles away!
In the meantime all this atrocity builds up a frustrating irony about sleep and rest that very few acknowledge!
When we are drearily tired and burnt out, we miss the basic connection between fatigue and poor decision making. Our willpower gets besieged and we pick up random threads to believe that some โcognitiveโ break like stretching, chatting, or drifting through social media, is enough to deliver.
If you are the one who has set his heart on this beliefโฆwell you couldnโt be more wrong!!
These arenโt really the breaks that Iโd look forward to. Given the kinda load they put on our brain, I might as well have continued working with no rest.
For most of us this hoodwinking is similar to โbedtime hesitationโ or failing to go to bed at the intended time even when nothing stops us from hitting the sack.
You know the drill;
You are worn out drained and ought to sleep, yet the walk from the sofa to bed via bathroom seems too much of an effort. Surfing absentmindedly through Netflix menus though feels relaxing. Not surprisingly, frustrated sleep means youโre less likely to have the energy to haul yourself to bed the following night!
So, is there any way out of it?
Yup!…
Begin by taking breaks early in the day, before you even feel you need to. This keeps replenishing your energy levels. Move outside frequently, not because of fresh air or some audacious attraction, but because there will be fewer screens to rivet your attention.
Image source: ‘woman sitting on chair while leaning on laptop’ by Andrea Piacquadio in pexels.com
Wrong turns right tricks
Whenever I feel extremely tired and have an intense urge to lie down, I know something is not working for me. Each one of us has days when we feel exhausted and run down. Itโs Ok, but constantly being tired and spent isnโt.
And who else but you is there to sense the alarm when something goes off the hook.
Web Quickreads and biohackers usually prank different sleep and rest techniques –from physical and mental to emotional and social, all bragging to kick start you.
But do they really work? Are they any better than some cooked up web story to refresh your senses and fill you with some fresh excitement fast?And are you clever enough to know what is pushing you into sleep dysfunction snare?
In most cases, weariness is weeded out by reworking your lifestyle but correcting or improving your fatigue index is taxing. You need to get to the bottom of it to know whatโs causing it before you rid yourself of sleep syndrome.
Here are six possible reasons why youโre always tired and how to get sleep impairment back on rails.
Image source: ‘7 Reasons You Feel Tired’ by Krista M in ba-bamail.com.
Your caffeine fix needs trim
Feeling tired and morning all screwed up!!…
You have gulp down enough of black coffee and in the bargain youโve earned yourself some spoofed up sleep cycle. Youโll be tired and confused day long and will be tempted for more of caffeine to stay perked up.
But the cycle of poor sleep wonโt let you.
And itโs not swell, alright!
Caffeinated beverages are infamous for a temporary energy burst but over-indulgence is criminal. It might roughen up your next day.
If you are a caffeine buff and are currently experiencing sleep issues, try snipping it back. How many cups? Thatโs difficultโฆbut a cup half-filled each time will do the trick. Your consumption would halve and might improve your sleep and energy levels.
Stimulants like caffeine uncannily exaggerate the effect of adrenaline rush, make your heart pump faster, you respiration fires upโฆ all so much for a kick! The spark however doesnโt last even two hours.
The slump returns afterwards.
Image source: ‘woman leaning on her table’ by Marcus Aurelius in pexels.com.
Eat and beat the woe
The food that you eat and how much you eat, makes one helluva difference to your sleep pattern. It steps up or diminishes your energy levels. If you are eating healthy and are still tired, try changing how many times you eat. Some people get the rush with several small meals throughout the day while others could do with three square ones.
There is no wrong or right; your energy needs may be different from others.
But watch out! What and how much you consume, does matter. Allowing yourself a free run on the table is spooky!
Seeโฆit works like a snow ball rolling downhill. The more you gain in weight, the less inclined you’d be towards work. And then you wonโt exercise, burn the kals or feel swell!
Poor hydration devastates
Eight, 8-ounce (240-mL) glasses of water daily; this is what we all hear about proper hydration but it all depends your weight, age, sex, and activity levels.
Are you drinking enough of it? Thirst, fatigue, dizziness, and headaches donโt hurt, if you do. But if you feel bulldozed then maybe youโve strayed off the course!
Staying well hydrated is unique since many biochemical reactions take place in our body every day and need water loss to be replaced. Lower hydration levels means waning energy and ebbing ability to concentrate. In fact, it could affect your entire body, including your sleep cycles.
So, you donโt have much of a choice; you just couldnโt do without it. If you’re not well hydrated, your body will put itself off to maintain water balance instead of giving you energy. All you need to do is to adjust your intake with how much water youโre losing daily.
A simple thing like stopping at a water faucet or a bubbler when you walk by one could just be one good idea.
Some extra wonโt burn or spoil anything!
Bad wrap comes with bad rap
Not entirely undeserved, fat issue are plucky and a bad deal when it comes to overall health. Not only obesity is significantly linked to many chronic illnesses, it could just be the reason for your chronic fatigue. Your risk of obstructive sleep apnea might spin-off out of control, cause daytime fatigue and directly affect your sleep cycle. Needless to say you also run higher risk of depression and type-2 diabetes.
Poor sleep quality and sleep dysfunctions spawn weight gain too as you are less inclined to work. Lethargy, drowsiness and exhaustion are your helpmates now and wonโt let you free!
Maintaining a healthy body weight preps you for some good sleep and tweaked energy levels. Experiencing some high quality sleep also prevents weight gain and reduces fatigue.
To begin with, settle for polyunsaturated fats for oils and seafood and monounsaturated fats such as olive oil, nuts, and seeds for the right balance. The unsaturated variety may help lower “bad” LDL cholesterol.
If this helps you any bit; quality sleep would rid you of that creepy hung over feeling caused by the same biological function that gives you a jet lag.
You need a break from SoNet !
Yup! we all want to be emotionally charged all the time. But the glam and splash trashes our physical health at whatever cost. Chatting with close friends or family does the trick for most part. Bright lights, computer screens, background noise and multiple conversations โ whether in an office or on Zoom calls โ overwhelms our senses.
Worseโฆif youโre an introvert and your work demands you to be in company of lot many people every day, you definitely would run short on some โme timeโ to rest and recharge. You canโt spend 40 hrs a week staring blankly at screens or jumbled messy surroundings at work and end up the day surfing social media; yet remain passionate about everything. Innovations?…Not a chance. This mindless disarray will have you mired in sleepless tossing nights in a hurry.
So, simply lay off and lie low. Take a break from your cellphone, screen and other gadgets. Do something as simple as closing eyes for a minute in the middle of the day, unplug everything (mobile and laptop and every other thing) at the end of the day, go for a solo walk, read a book or enjoy a nice tea!
Intentional moments of sensory deprivations will begin to undo the damage inflicted by an over-stimulating world around you.
And the trap will spring open anytime sooner!
Feature credits: โHappinessโ by Gordon wjs in youtube.com on Mar.05, 2014.
Donโt be shocked if it feels thick and naked at first; youโre all keyed up and coming to a grinding halt is more painful than continuing.
Yes, you do need a break but donโt expect yourself to want one.
Are you in despair and unhappy? Itโs possible that your past mistakes may have caught up with your thoughts and somehow messed with your happiness. The key to understanding why youโre upset in the first place and couldnโt be happier- lies with you!
Image source: ‘Happiness’ by Justina Daugelaite in reachingout.eu.
Donโt we all spend one helluva time thinking about what we need to be happy? Do we ever think what holds us back when we believe we have done enough for some life changing tomorrow?
Honestlyโฆchanging life for some good is not that easy. We learn every day and take each day with a grain of salt to make space for a brighter tomorrow.
This isnโt about that though, is it? Clearly notโฆIโd wager it doesnโt end up nicely all the time.
An irrational hunt for happiness has been waging for decades in true sense and the rage is yet to die down. Even Roger Hargreaves in his 1971 rhetoric โMr Happyโ with all his hippy dippy wellbeing ideascouldnโt get any close to being relief to more modern ideas about mid-life burnout and the gut wrenching resignation syndrome!!
When young, I had learned an easy way to guard myself; I pretended –I donโt care and because I wouldnโt, nothing would hurt me. To me, it was simple game plan and it worked so well; sadly if only for a short period of time. In exchange, I gave up all hope of building some meaningful relationships, warmth and few fine moments of euphoria.
In college I wasnโt any close to camaraderie either; almost no friends. I never went to parties or would hustle to catch up for coffees with campus buddies.
Of course that hurt. Deep within I desperately longed for the college life that youโd see splashed across billboards or experience in some smug misty-eyed soap channel. But the thought of putting out and possible snub was just overwhelming.
So, I convinced myself- I have no time for friends.
I was bitter, angry and sometimes resented everyone and everything; but at least I spared myself any rebuff.
Fortunately, as I grew up I learned to open up and face myself. Yup! it did hurt sometimes. Itโs never fun to judge yourself.
But you know what? Today, it feels better than the other alternative; settling for a life half lived!
If you have read me this far, itโs possible that your moonlight happiness story has got lost somehow. Youโre caught in a web of your past mistakes or maybe youโve been giving more brains than brawl to your past and have wrecked your present as a consequence.
Whateverโฆ
Isnโt it time to stop living adrift? How else could you ever hope to be happy again, if you canโt let go of whatโs already happened?
If you ask me, life is both beautiful and ugly and we all get to choose how we want to spend it. Many of us make things way more complicated and usually crash out than live it in a simple way. Yet there are those too who endure each day with a happy sunshine view on life.
And so could you; only if you know how to look forward to improve your life!
Here are a few simple-yet powerful things; not judgment, toxicity, perfection, gossip, grudges or excuses; the usual trivia- that you need to let go right away, if you want to reward yourself;
Create some free space for joy and happiness
Image source: ‘Woman with open arms’ by Emma Peneder in unsplash.com.
Happiness comes from living true to yourself. Sure, we all make mistakes and stumble and fumble, but then life is far from perfect. Itโs comforting if you play it by your own rules and not the one pieced together by others.
When we spend too much time wondering and thinking about otherโs lives, we lose sight of all that that matters to us. Instead of living for our hopes and dreams, we start following someone elseโs play book. This slowly becomes a plucky gamble; one that you can never hope to win.
So, look around, let others inspire you but when you feel that you are beginning to lose yourself, itโs time to let goโฆthat clammy endless collating.
Renew and get rid of the rascal in you
Image source: ‘Floating green leaf plant’ by Ravi Roshan in unsplash.com.
Not that it deliberately blocks happiness from entering our lives when you want it โฆbut it tends to make-believe that everything in life hovers between black and white, right and wrong, good and bad.
Iโve struggled with this wretch and it has earned me only a lot of unnecessary stress and conflict in my life.
#She comes to date tonight, or she doesnโt love me.
#I either succeed today, or Iโm a complete jerk.
#You will either support me totally on this, or you donโt trust me.
Do these sound any familiar? I had burrowed myself in cheat stories like these in my โIโm hypeโ age and itโs something that I lock horns with even today.
But I have learned to respect the duality of life. I make space for it. Today, someone cancels plans and I still love that person unconditionally. I’d fail over and over again in some weird project and yet I’d know I have made progress. I believe in her though I know sometimes Iโd get to face some raised eyebrows.
Of course, certain things in life are not there to question but you need to stop jumping to conclusions.
Begin by accepting that every life holds many shades of grey.
Love it or hate it but ditch perfection
Image source : ‘Girl with paint’ by Senjuti Kundu in unsplash.com.
There is hardly anything wrong with self improvement only if you could keep in mind that chase to perfection never ends. In fact, it may even keep you away from happiness and stall you from taking risks. You may miss living life to the fullest.
Perfection to me is nothing short of a huge problem. You set for yourself high banners and grails but you merely rollick between better and the best.
And it reeks of sickness and twisted psycheโฆ. Youโll always feel as if havenโt done enough or maybe youโre not good enough to deliver. This may even stop you from trying anything at all.
We perceive this as something negativeโฆsomething that destroys our flair and clouds our judgement.
However, I see it differently . I consider this to be my USP for I’ve tried hardest to reach the best. Giving your 100% is kinda celebrating your uniqueness that made you so different.
Once you accept that moving forward is more important than being flawless, youโll never again be afraid to make mistakes.
Everybody sometimes fail and so would you. So, simply endure. Itโs more important that you embrace these mistakes and learn from them than let these mistakes keep you away from trying something at all!
Itโs tough to keep everybody happy
Image source: ‘Silhouette of person jumping’ by Mohamed Nohassi in unsplash.com.
Itโs natural for us to want people to like us for making them happy. But sometimes it hurts. It prevents us from being happy ourselves. This has a lot to do with our insight about what makes others happy.
Youโd say that if people are pleased, theyโll be happy. But it doesnโt work that way always.
Happiness finds way in our life only if and when we want it to. Trueโฆwe feel it when we succeed in making others happy. But itโs unlikely that the end result is true happiness. Itโs tough to keep everybody happy for people have different needs. You might end up making somebody unhappy because of what you did to make someone else happy!
See!…Itโs exhausting and stressful when we neglect our own happiness and rank pleasing others above ours.
Not that you should drop caring about others and getting along with them. Making someone smile feels fantastic and could greatly affect your own joy. But incessantly trying to please others usually backfires. So stop gagman theatrics and be your friend first.
Bliss will followโฆ
Feature credits: ‘Live Your Own Life’ by Eddie Pinero in youtube.com on Nov. 17, 2020.
Piano man with hard habits!
Itโs human to believe that oneโs always right. Thatโs even true when it might not be the case. Different values and beliefs is what decide between right and wrong. So when you say youโre right, it might mean that opinion differs.
Of course, itโs hard not to assume that weโre right unless proven otherwise. And to believe that youโre right 100% of the time, sometimes has negative portends. Endless arguments and pointless conflicts donโt prove a thing because there are two sides to every argument. โI donโt knowโ, say this and you acknowledge that you donโt know everything.
Conflicts would wane when you take this simple huge step in the right direction.
And thatโs something, Yupโฆthat will make you feel happier.
Itโs never been easy and Iโm still learning every day; but for now I can yell a lungful; Iโm happier than ever before. I have laid off things that used to make my space crappier and buried the hatchet for good. In return I have earned me a brighter tomorrow.
And I have touched the piano man with a golden heart โฆ
Everybody loves a happy ending, especially when itโs the story of their own life. I have begun writing that ending today. After roughly couple of months in it, lots of scratchy notes and 2000 odd words later I have finally researched my way to be happy forever!!
Image source: ‘7 Simple Ways To Be Happier’ by Seth Symondin lifehack.org.
If you are someone who believes that one doesnโt always need to stay happy and hopeful through difficult times and seriously think that recluse in vulnerable spaces is enough to ease off your discomfort, then itโs time you come out of your therapeutic feel good irrationality!
Imagine yourself 10 years ago. Were you happier or less happy than you are today? Itโs not inappropriate if you think that you were happier. But 10 years hence, things are likely to be a lot less rosy. And itโs no fun to rake your brains over it now.
Happiness tends to decline as we walk through our lives and bottoms out at around 50. Then something strange happens; it races uphill again till people get split into two groups; those who get a lot happier and those who couldnโt be any less unhappy.
Right around theโIโm so hype!โage, most of us would rush to make few good financial decisions, plan ahead and are more likely to be able to support themselves in comfort and be alive always; rest who wouldnโt, just couldnโt.
Something similar happens with happiness. As we grow old, we begin to see things differently. The excitement and fun of adolescence gives way to brutally negative jibes of adulthood. By now most of us have experienced bittersweet pleasures of life; but little do we realize that these tiny time specks can make us appreciate more and encourage us to be on cloud nine, when the going gets tough.
Tough!!… is it a bad word? It certainly sounds dismissive and cruel. We all have had our fair share of moments when wits got thrown to wilds. It hurtโฆ but prepped us for some plucky life moments ahead!
ยญยญยญIf you ask me good things happen more often than the bad ones, but often we miss opportunity to stay connected to happiness. We easily forget that age is like some fabled sycophancy that allows us to fly high in the real World. At 50 you could still be the same adorable pig tailed gal or some jaunty good looking knock-out beau. Both of you could still climb the trees, jump the wall and beat up all the boys. Young and raunchy, fiercely ambitious you both have had your share of one heart break, one breakdown, one true love, one success, one moment of despair and gloom โ you have had mountains of them.
Cringing eyes, creaking knees and despairingly loosening skin, need not make you falter now. There is no shame in growing old and struggling a bit; itโs a reminder of all the battles that you have survived and the ones you won!
Once you have learned how to love your lines and folds and aches and pains, begin looking for some honest happy moments, few of which you could save for grey years.
Hereโs what I did to make my life stay as full and happy as possible when I reach my later years;
Does age equals happiness?
Image source: ‘This is how to find joy: 4 simple secrets to the good life’ by Eric Barker in theladders.com on Mar.17, 2018.
Like everybody else I too will grow old. But I donโt see myself climbing mountains every day to be happy or live in a landscape where thatโs an option. I would rather go for a walk or sit in a stretch of green watching the birds feeding. Doing so would give me something to look forward to each day.
For me the โsweetness of doing little or nothingโ is all about savoring the moment , having joy in the present and saving a bit for declining years.
When I was young, the happyโwell person in me learned well to accumulate resources and habits in pursuit of happiness. Few of these, like generational wealth–so difficult to control, happy childhood-that descended from long lived ancestors and sometimes spots of depression-again a formidable enemy; all have been there to teach me about late-life happiness.
Elders would mock, โOnly handfuls heed; rest count on being lucky!โ
I picked that up rather seriously!
I thought that being passionate about something that I could pride later on, wonโt hurt anybody. So, I chose the best way of maximizing my chances of being happy in my autumn years.
I have made some big investments in my disposition-smoking, drinking, body weight, exercise, emotional resilience, education, and relationships ranked high in my judgment. I have dug deep, chosen the hackneyed lane and I believe that Iโve done the right thing! To some varying degrees, I have kept all of them under my fold since then.
Surprisingly simple, itโs perhaps the most reliable way to see yourself smiling forever!!
Love doing what makes you happiest
Image source: ‘Being Creative Can Make Your Golden Years More Enjoyable’ by Jim Pietrangelo in healthline.com on Oct. 19, 2017.
It didnโt take me long to realize that the best way I could tweak my chances of happiness, is to pursue that one thing that could make my heart race in high octane. Not that I would let any of dopamine, adrenaline or norepinephrine run out of control.
So, I chose…
One small deed; one overwhelming gesture that when I lock my eyes onto, would make me feel all pumped up; one simple action that would make me smile every time I looked back.
I strongly willed to improve upon my ability to weather stressful and unexpected turn of events in life. And I chose to pour my heart into it, letting it to be the last!
Ever since, I have realized that one single most important thing for wellness in life is to raise and foster warm relationships; one that would make you quit small sins; one that youโd have to hold on to if things go south; one that would let you fit the bar pretty well even in a squeaky wrinkled frame.
Iโm no die hard biophile. Itโs a mean old world and we all have scars but for me happiness is no longer a matter of the heart. I know that I wonโt necessarily be doomed to misery if I could work my way to few good, warm relationships.
I just want to be happy and successful. To look back on my life when Iโm all old and grey, and think to myself;
โSee! I totally nailed it. I have zero regrets.โ
Life is surprisingly simple
We hear about success and happiness everywhere we look. We get all sorts of tips and advices about life and about things we should and shouldnโt do.
But it never really works that way every time!
Like most of us, I wasnโt sure what these words actually meant or how to get there. I might already be there and wouldnโt know it yet!
So, I looked around… What could I do to make sure Iโm not getting waylaid in my pursuit of happiness? How would I know for sure that I am working towards joy and happiness that right now doesnโt feel tangible?
Itโs hard to reconcile everything. Wish for an everlasting happiness and it would usually contradict ways to a successful life. The hard part is that there is no clear answer to this and all those wisdom bombs are only part truth, part value.
I needed to find the right balance for myself.
I took an inventory of all my habits and behavior and judged myself where I needed to invest a little more time, a little more energy and a little more silver to start moving in the right direction. I worked โsmarter not harderโ so Iโd still have some fun left to myself and not be exhausted or miserable when I turn 70s.
Iโm no goofball; Iโm hopeful and see opportunities differently. Iโm sure Iโll find my perfect grin soon.
Feature credits: ‘The Seed’ by Andy Matthews in youtube.com on Aug. 24, 2017.
As I sit quietly, I reminisce one premier episode of Greyโs Anatomy; normally a few laughs, sometimes some tears; one dialogue in particular that really hit home for me. Somewhere a patient had said something along the lines of;
โWell of course you are happy, but is there really a cap on happiness?
Lately I think Iโve been very happy; maybe Iโve maxed out. But then I remind myself; there is always room for more of happinessโฆ thereโs so many miles to go.
I also know that not everyone feels the same way. I see people battling with misery and anxiety every day and this touches me to appreciate my happiness all the more.
All this has drawn an empath in me and I know that everyone deserves to be as happy as I am.
I wish, if only youโd do just one small close to your heart thing, to bring a difference in your World and empower yourself to be happy always.
Itโs unlikely that youโll follow everything that matters and thatโs Ok. Just pick and choose the one that sounds easy and worthwhile and take your first step slowly!!
Someday youโll find yourself luckyโฆ blessed if you may!!
Anger is a nightmare and not without consequences. Many a times we reach out for stuff that does nothing to relieve our hideous mood while we endure. But one thing is certainโฆ anger is something that few of us can control and the rest can count on having major issues dealing with it. To calm down all youโd do is either count till 100 โthis does not work for me- or sip on some green tea to save yourself from going back to those peevish emotions.
But yup! … Thereโs another way out too.
If you are in a snappy mood, yelling and overreacting to anything and everything, then you definitely need to work on your cranky attitude. Itโs hard to rationalize but you really arenโt yourself if you are angry and without realizing it neither are your well controlled self.
Hopping mad and hormones in you upping the ante! Between snapping at everyone in sight and angry at the entire world, your stomach rumbles and you get more irritable. Maybe you are hit by Hanger- the ugly-romantic expression for mash up of anger and hunger. Shaking, feeling weak and fatigued, you continue to boil while the fight-and-flight hormone (adrenaline) continues to race through your veins, pushing your mood to limits and making you behave ugly.
This is when even small things feel like the end of the world!
If there is nothing happening outside your body for your irrational behavior, then probably you are not getting enough glucose to your brain and itโs struggling with energy intensive tasks. Your blood sugar has dropped and you are fighting yourself not to flambรฉ your surroundings.
But you are not aloneโฆ
As much I hate to admit, I love to think of myself as calm, level headed fellow but deny me food for a few hours and the going gets tough for just about everything! I have had my fair share of anger management but crying for food? โฆ.everything would fly off the handle. And I ainโt sorry for what I say or do.
This I believe, is the point when extra snacking helps even if the next eat was a while away.
There is a lot in the world that could make you angry, stressed or worried all the time. So, when times get tough and moods tougher, navigate yourself to some squeaky clean food to calm yourself down. A box of donuts or a bag of chips is what youโd jump for, but be wary…they will also quickly push you back into throes of anger.
So, here are a few eats that may not exactly relieve you of incendiary emotions but would help you channel that fuming energy into something blessedly trivial. Besides no matter how cross you are, you still have to eat! Why not something that would ease off your thumping pulse?
Chickpea and pomegranate Greek salad
Fifteen minute prep time and this salad is a go-for meal after a โnot-so-healthyโ day, when youโre looking for few good things that you couldnโt find in 4 champagne cocktails, cheesy dip or a late night pizza.
There are many smart ways to a pomegranate only if you knew how. Help yourself to a quick, simple almost vegetarian stuff. Of course youโd have preferred something more elaborate, but now with a nasty busy day staring you in the face, youโd better settle for something inane.
Feature credits: ‘Greek Marinated Chickpea Salad’ by Recipe Tin Eats in You tube .com on Jun.03, 2020.
This salad is straightforward enough but the appeal lies in texture. Chickpeas as always are dense and mushy but meaty crunchy cucumbers and pomegranate seeds, creamy salty feta cheese and bright herbs, all woven together in a simple tangy dressing of olive oil and tart red wine vinegar, come to your rescue in fighting off your misery.
Smacked cucumber salad
Image source: ‘Smacked Cucumber in Garlicky Sauce (Suan Mi Pau Huang Gua)’ in blog,seasonwithspice.com.
Wake up your therapeutic feelings by smacking a cucumber into bite-size treat. Itโs a delightful salad, right down to its salty, slightly spicy sauce and a perfect food for short outbursts or when you suddenly find yourself about to explode right in the middle of something important.
Lentil and macaroni soup
Image source:’Lentil Soup with Macaroni’ in eatsmarter.com.
Isnโt it exciting and euphoric to clench something tightly in your fists and crush it into tiny bits? One perfect fix for your pent up irritability and you let off some steam in a jiffy! Crushed canned whole tomato soup with tantalizing fresh macaroni pasta with a dash of olive oil is your best spin of the day. Believe me; nothing would better a bowl of this refreshing nourishment. Leftovers would keep well for a few days. Leave out the pasta and you can freeze dry it for quite some time.
Banana-almond-flax smoothie
Image source: ‘Banana almond flaxseed smoothie’ in footprintstofitness.com on Aug.7, 2016.
Is your boss giving you some tempers off late? Somebody close getting onto your nerves? Slurp down some of the hostility on the go with a banana-almond-flax smoothie that works great both to your mental health and your taste buds. Ward off anger and depression with nuts and flax seeds that are good sources of omega-3s.
Greek yogurt with honey and granola
Image source: ‘Greek Yogurt With Honey, Fruit And Granola’ in recipebook.io.
Packing-in a few happy ingredients, this positivity parfait is one easy way to curl up your spooky madness on the go. Friendly probiotics slackening your depression and easing off those buzzing sounds in your head make full fat Greek yogurt a tasty way to fight the blues. Add a spoonful of honeyed sweetness and you get a punch-up to fight off irritability; in part by reducing inflammation in your brain. Pitch in some berries to score one extra health point!
Quinoa, spinach, and shiitake salad
Image source:’Shiitake Quinoa Salad Recipe’ by Stephanie in iamafoodbog.com.
This super-food-packed saladโs has all the awesome goodness of vegan protein. A complex carbohydrate, it reins in depression and anger by pushing up levels of neuro transmitter serotonin in your brain. Besides the mood-boosting spinach comes loaded with B vitamins. Pair it with mushrooms- a good source of selenium and give a tough fight to anger and depression.
Poached eggs and asparagus
Image source: ‘Poached Eggs With Asparagus And Tomatoes’ in incredibleegg.org.
These stellar protein orbs are any time epic food even for jaded gourmands. A good source of vitamin D, eggs provide mood-boosting vitamin B. Paired with asparagus that contains tryptophan, the combination is an ultimate bite on a cold wintry morning. Frayed tempers, godforsaken tantrums!… increased levels of feel-good serotonin in your brain would do the trick and sizzling arguments would never get past your plate.
Brown rice and black beans
Image source: ‘Black Beans with Brown Rice’ in tasteofhome.com.
Eating when youโre angry or riding low is usually not recommended. But certain foods have the power to ease anxiety and fight anger. Beans arenโt just good enough for your heartโ they work wonders to your brain too. Selenium in them picks you back up when youโre feeling low. Plus, brown rice helps to lift your mood by regulating serotonin levels.
Walnut-miso noodles
Image source : ‘Walnut Miso Noodles Recipe’ by Heidi in 101cookbooks.com.
If you feel like a raging bull, all seething, stormy and blustering; this food is your best bet to keep your frenzy in check. Everything about this dish yells health, happiness and moreish. The whole wheat pasta is a complex carb to nurse your serotonin levels while walnuts come with the punch of Omega-3s to help grapple with your anger and grouchiness.
Whole-wheat pasta with cauliflower and collards
Image source: ‘Sicilian-Style Cauliflower with Whole Wheat Pasta’ in foodnetwork.com.
If you are reeling with anger and frustration, chances are your brain is not getting enough fuel to manage normal cognitive functions. Donโt beat yourself up over some stale cracker or lint covered protein bar. You may have come across touted versions of this dish elsewhere but the one with cauliflower and collard greens is your best cinch.
Generous portions of cauliflower not only make it taste gorgeous but also provide vitamin B-6 and folate.
Chocolate Chia seed pudding
Image source: ‘Chocolate chia pudding’ by Lisa Bryan in downshiftology.com on May 09, 2019.
If you notice people around you are slowly backing up and turning indignant to your mood, itโs likely that your hangerโs ugly head has turned menacing. Not only you are frightening to people around you but also you are vulnerable to mistakes you wouldnโt otherwise!
So, cool off a little with classic scoops of Chia and Chocolate pudding! A more sustaining alternative to standard tapioca, this one is a double whammy food to fix your mood swings.
Chia seeds have all the goodness of depression and anger fighting omega-3s, and dark cocoa powder helps keep bad moods in check.
Coffee with cinnamon
Image source: ’10 reasons you need to add cinnamon to your coffee’ by Heather Fishel in food-hacks.wonderhowto.com on 14 Mar.2016.
No Red Bull for you if you have the urge for a war cry in the thick of a long afternoon. Coffee is a natural stimulant, boosts your energy and perks up the metabolism so you can face the day without berating much. A hot one kicks you alive by raising levels of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. And a sprinkle of cinnamon is all it takes to pep up your slurp.
Green tea and honey
Image source: ‘Lemon Honey Green Tea’ in godrej.com.
Angry and hungry!… youโre more likely to pick up an argument with your sweetheart for no particular reason. Since you may in all likelihood act awkward or be aggressive towards the people youโre closest to, itโs not uncommon that both of you will share the ignominy together.
Green tea is one great source of L-thiamine to relax your mind and sharpen your wits. Sip through a cup of the green stuff at breakfast, before bedtime orโฆ during a brawl break.
Does this all mean that food is the cheeky stuff that could alter your mood and probably back-off your pyromaniac blues? Is it something that we should depend on for our mood swings and anger control? Arenโt we happy enough when we go for pizza or head straight to ice cream buckets and cakes and cheese induced snacks?
Not to place judgment, I just wish more people would see how detrimental it is to their well being to be hamstrung by anger and not doing enough to let it go.
Image source:’ Woman sitting on black chair’ by Anthony Tran in Unsplash.com.
Itโs a mean old world and we all have our share of scars. Yet we all talk about how great things will happen in future. But happiness isnโt something that we wait to happen later. It is something that we strive for each moment every single day; work deadlines pushed up, coffee spilled over new shoes or failing that midterm, annoyances and hard habits pulled under the rug; everything and everybody works to be just happy. Even the most pessimistic could do with a little bit of sweetness in life.
Unfortunately not everyone has fewer problems or lesser troubles in life. Things do sometimes turn topsy-turvy. And you could be in trouble if nagging emotions like guilt and shame overshadow your resolve even for something as simple as losing weight or cutting back on booze. You are absolutely the kinda person who succumbs to his worst habits pretty fast.
But it doesnโt have to be this way all the time.
What if we could somehow influence our worst traits enough to serve us better? Skeptical! … Itโs not my kinda stuff either but if you ask me, things donโt turn south every time you push for redemption. By being intelligently and purposely lazy, less mindful, messy, slow, cluttered and bad tempered, you could actually get rid of years of craziness and be more successful and happier on your own terms.
Building a good relationship with yourself is always a worthy investmentโฆisnโt it? After all, we all spend quite a bit of time with ourselves; so might as well learn to enjoy it!
Here are a few life hacks that made even the lazy and wrathful person in me a little bit more happier.
Love your anger
Do you get to explode at a work meeting? Or do you think, โWhat that person says, is upsetting. Iโm going to address it, but not now.
Whatever, you simply canโt wish anger to go away. Itโs strong โ itโs high energy, itโs not comfortable and it takes some time to ease off. There are times when you are in-the-moment but donโt know how to handle it to your advantage. But what if you could plan using that anger at some other time?
Everybody gets angry when a situation changes disruptively but very few realize that we can use that intense energy only if and when we know what weโre angry about.
Image source: ‘ Smiling Asian woman in apron’ by Amina filkins in pexels.com.
I learned to draw on that anger- not to match the intensity or reactionary blow-ups โ but to harness it for good. Rather than wading in or stepping up the conflict, I found it helpful in managing overwhelming situations. All I pushed for was not to let it get out of hand.
After all anger is not rage. Itโs not the hardest thing to handle; but if you could, it would sharpen your focus, ping you with lots of emotional information and get you some surprising outcomes.
Itโs neither good nor bad-itโs what you do with it that matters.
Stop being โ busyโ
I guess I love being lazy now!…. but I do not let my mind be occupied with squeaky distractions. I am talking of proper idleness- choosing to do nothing!
For most part of the day we stay focused on checking things off our to-do-list which is otherwise Ok. It helps in developing a productive mindset but en route it turns our personal lives into kinda running checklist, rather than something enjoyable.
Allowing myself to be lazy was just the perfect antidote I was looking for. For once I could stop checking G-news and Face book and WhatsApp every 10 minutes or hang on to some freaky e-mail that ought to have left me worried some three weeks ago.
Stuck with laziness! โฆmaybe a little but for once I could waylay those scary to-do-lists at home and embrace slower healthier activities like taking a walk or reading a good book. Wonder, why I couldnโt guess earlier; I was so close to being happier, simply by being brilliantly lazy!
Of course, the tricky part isnโt finding the way but having the reason to fulfill it.
Negative emotions sometimes do fix things
I never like the idea to settle things in part because being with difficult emotions leaves me feeling wasted. Maybe my understanding of โtoxic positivityโ touches the darker side of psyche each time I land in a limbo. Itโs like โI am tryingto cheer up someone who actually just wants to be heardโ.
The positivity falls flat.
Havenโt we all have experienced it; when as a parent or as a partner all we wanted was our problem solved instead of simply talking about it?
But I find million good things about negative emotions. Fear, rejection, jealousy, guilt, sadness; all help me to navigate well in the social world. Like everybody else, I donโt spend much time tolerating negative emotions. I turn on Netflix or would grab a good book, sip through a cuppa good coffee or rush out to the porch to do some good to myself. I prefer to stay out of touch with intolerance.
I am no longer parenting misery or sadness!
Feature credits: ‘8 Ways to Overcome Anger’ by Mind Tools Videos in YouTube.com on Aug.06, 2018.
Try to be less mindful: It works!
Mindfulness isnโt something that creates a moment of calm if you are in the middle of a crisis. Anxiety, panic attacks or physical dissociation โ these disruptive emotions with generally negative results and potential side effects leave you with nothing to fall back if things go awry. I wonโt say mindfulness is bad but it doesnโt make life any better. I realized that being mindful made me feel unlovable, unworthy and if I allowed-it would consume me. I wouldnโt feel cared for and insecure with no sense of belonging.
Contrarily, I got better at recognizing that worrying less- helps, for there is no cure for it. It simply arouses feeling of fear and anxiety and gloom.
Besides who wouldnโt love to feel safe, secure and free of any fear?
Things have since gotten nicer and better as I dwell on it and gently guide myself back to everything that matters.
So, you too could make this personal for whatever your needs are and see things brighten up!
I jumped making resolutions
I despise getting bogged down by those silly New Yearโs vows. I am not the kind who put his feet down firmly and stays put. I get shy fast and would quit in no time.
So, this year I decided to stay clear of resolutions. I tried approaching myself with as much kindness and love as possible. Andโฆit felt good!
Think of it like this;
โIf you hate your guts enough to lose 20 pounds, do you really think you would end up 20 pound lighter?
Hmm!โฆ maybe, maybe not. But what you will certainly have practiced is hating your guts.
Image source: ‘Happy young woman in apron’ by Tim Douglas in pexels.com.
As far as I can see, self dislike is what drives most of us to resolutions. Dreams to dazzle push you to make epic promises that usually never get past the idea.
It would sound infamy to say this, but to be at large has been a brilliant win for me. Itโs also the most loving, beautiful and exciting fun to keep all those barren promises out of my hair.
I feel free and I tell myselfโฆ life’s not so bad!
I think I now love myself deeply, no matter what!!
This year I forgot to make New Year resolutions in time and in turn decided to stop striving to be someone I could never be. I felt itโs time to embrace my messy, imperfect, soft bellied self and put my worst fears to good use.
This is how I made some real peace with myself and learned to love negative emotions.
Image source: ‘Hearing voices is more common than you might think‘ by John Read in theconversation.com on Oct. 21, 2016.
To me, penning thoughts and phrasing them is a messy affair. I wonder, if you are here only because you donโt know how to come up with your next story idea and have scant respect for my writing skills. Maybe you just want something apropos, some inspiring thought for your next storyline. I wouldnโt know if my choice of words convince you enough to appreciate that I too am a borne writer.
Either way, letโs get it right!
If you are reading this, I know one thing for sure;
You are a โcuriousโ person! And in that my success is certain. Oddly, curiosity makes one smart enough to want to know more and understand better. It makes you dig around for answers to โWhy?โ and pushes you to keep hunting until you are satisfied!
We all have our share of bad days and like everything else; I think I too have had some poor articles, or essays or blogs!! For me writing never meant to be rude or shocking or like some spilled beans on paper. I have felt and always acted on the desire- to purge myself of whatโs inside me so that someone like you will understand what I feel at this moment.
Image source: ‘14 Hope Quotes Ideas’ by quote.cc in pinterest.com.
If only wishes were horses!
Itโs hard to remember the last day, the last week or the last month when I laughed and found things intensely funny and rib tickling. When were those few hours that I wasnโt worried about something and enjoyed watching sunset or lying snug in warm quilt with a good book when it was raining outside on a wintry afternoon?
Itโs kinda hard whenever it crossed me; “Like everything else, this too will end in a whileโ!
Perhaps, I ought to glue something more inviting on my PC; something that would say;
โI am more smart, strong and brave than I think I am. I am my hero with a golden heartโ!!
See, itโs hard to learn about yourself from a distance, but maybe I have.
I wake up each morning and wonder what better could be there to write about. I read articles every day. I nose through pointless stories and try to make some sense out of them. I even look around for everything that would fit me into the bar.
Aw-shucks! Who am I kidding?
I like it when my stories are read but I absolutely love it when you subscribe! I get goose bumps each time an eye finds my page. I stand witness to your curiosity, your humor and your intellect every time I get reviewed.
Did I get it right? Maybe I am brave enough to hold on to a faltering confidence!!
My writing caper has not done anything to fill my wallet so far. Like you I too want to prance around to a success with words. I am though, yet to establish myself as someone with something up his sleeves every time he dares to shine. I know I cannot survive on catchy phrases and snappy headlines only.
But then there is this terrible voice endlessly growling inside my brainโฆ
I must writeโฆI must writeโฆ!
Feature credits: ‘How to be happy in 2 minutes The strongest motivation for happinessโ by My Inspiration in You Tube.com on Dec, 12, 2021
Last night I dreamedโฆ of that nasty hand again; reaching out for me and a muffled voice breezily saying; โNever mind, you will get a new cat,โ!
Wishes communicating!… Hell no! I have no pet and so couldnโt make much of it. I though remember feeling untouched and used.
Is that 1628 Scottish proverb nothing more a nursery rhyme? Wouldnโt wishing something dearly from your heart, could make it happen? Wouldnโt some falling star come to my rescue?
Yet I couldnโt resist writing and wishing โฆ
I wish you to read what I have to say and give me the chance to shine and impress. I wish like everybody else you wouldnโt shut the window and run away. I wish to stand out with my content to an extent where people would hunt for my name and not for the headlines alone.
Image source: ‘Couples all over Instagram are โdoing life together.โ Hereโs where it came from.’ by Laura Turner in vox.com on Aug. 02, 2019.
Everyone has vampires in their lives and like every relationship, marriage too is a ridiculously complicated one. Itโs simple and easy to believe… that if only both individuals could get to know each other, understand each otherโs needs and get comfortable with their surroundings, living a life with all its dark pleasures and experiences- healthy or unhealthy; would work epic.
Like sweet lies before the bed it would get under your skin and drive you nuts like some lemon bae!…all tangy and exciting.
Itโs equally simple to say that people marry for love, but I believe itโs more about the joy of sharing things and experiences that makes for the most suitable material for wedding vows. When two individuals decide to live together, life is fated to turn upside down. Sometimes itโs not an easy one. An uncomfortable, bumpy road faces you. Understanding, likes and dislikes, need to know…challenges weigh heavy!
And itโs gets stormy and uncomfortable for those who couldnโt manage to keep moods high. Loss is inevitable if you donโt know how to cross stitch the canvas of life, needles going in and out, adhering to a pattern you cannot foresee or comprehend.
If you ask me, loss works just fine for weights and investments, but when it comes to living with a companion, you wouldnโt know a thing till countless panic attacks and anguish ransack you. Worry swallows you whole!
Over the past, the soreness of losses has grown. Some of us fume against the God, others find comfort in imagining multiple lives. Very few would look for solace elsewhereโฆ
Havenโt we heard infinite times that a successful and everlasting marriage is forged with peace, love, and trust as primary choices. But what if it starts to lose itโs sheen? What if those snaky pencil scrawls, coffee chats, salty fried crumbly banana chips and clover leaves dried between the pages, begin to lose their craziness. What if all that pep talk about love and aftermath falls flat?
With just about everything else happening under the sun, wouldnโt it be fine to ignore the trite and build an elegant restraint for a successful loving relationship?
Hereโs few simple ways to help you keep your togetherness blissfully alive and stoked!!
Choose to be attractive
Attraction is a decision that you need to make through out your marriage. You get to decide if your partner is hot and sultry!..if you are saucy enough to be exciting to your mate; if you are tasteful and zesty enough to be the zippy sparkling person she always wanted you to be! Who wouldnโt want to feel the excitement of being with a flirtatious, incredibly sexy and attractive partner?
Evolution has wired us to be drawn to anything and everything that appeals to senses. โAttraction thoughtsโ likewise push you to focus on attributes that are exciting and drawing most. Like your beauโs great legs or the way she dresses or parents your kids? If this is freaking awkward; to you , itโs good news indeed!.โฆ none of you have to be a cover model to feel attractive!!
Your happiness is only about feeling connected to each other. After all physical attraction runs far deeper than looks!
Giggle, chuckle, cackle or guffaw together
Life at times hurts, so if you can find some mirth even when you are in the thick of it, it helps. A laugh is what decides if you are being perspective. Finding hilarity in both good and bad times make partners find ease around each other. Be it some little inside joke, a silly irrelevant text or even watching a boring comedy together, connecting with your mate strengthens your bond even better.
Celebrate every small good moment for there will be none like it
Tough is a bad word, Itโs dismissive and cruel. We all get our fair share of moments when our wits get thrown to wilds. It hurts, but to have someone in the weeds together, helps you shake off the despair easily.
And itโs just as important to acknowledge good times as well…together!
Image source: ‘Elderly couple resting on a bench’ in dreamstime.com.
If you ask me, good things happen more often than the bad ones, but we miss those opportune moments to connect.
So, next time your mate shares anything positive like some admiration from office colleagues or compliment from the boss, drop everything you are doing and lend an earful! Help each other savor the moment by sharing and celebrating. Promise yourself to open doors to your heart. Your fleeting moments together with few precious grains of happiness will never fail to outweigh darkness.
Donโt let the thought of a probable breakup haunt you
โI was hanging around with my friends, I just couldnโt get to call backโ. โI am over my exโ. โYouโre just overreacting, thereโs nothing to hideโ.
Any such thought, big or small, is a big โNoโ for a healthy and trustworthy relationship. So, if you find this tormenting and hurting, itโs not mere reflection of your anxiety but a red flag of a non-serious relationship.
Justified or not, chances are that you might be thinking of moving out!
But who wouldnโt prefer a few joyous moments over all that gloom and darkness?
And itโs easy too!!
Simply, donโt hold grudges for too long in your heart. Forget the mistakes of the past and reach out for some happy moments of the future. No jumbo patienceโฆ and be forgetful of the past bitterness for the real joy comes by chance. Feel it in the peals of laughter at a passing joke that leaves you gasping for breath; when you cross your legs so you donโt pee on yourself for you couldnโt make it to loo. Itโs snuggled in the movement of hands painting, knitting, cooking or even rhythm of your legs on long rambling walks. Itโs both the feeling of rapids thundering inside you and in the soft humming overwhelming your heart.
Funnily, happiness collides with you only when you are looking the other way.
Image credits: ‘Oldest Living Couple Reveals The Secret To Marital Success’ by Brittany Wong in huffpost.com on No, 22, 2019.
Even happy couples argue
With all that dancing and laughter and revelry- marriages are fun but being married isnโt always a piece of cake. Thereโs actually a lot that goes into living โhappily ever after,โ Not every marriage is happiness all the time. Like other relationships, sometimes marriages too hit a rough patch. But when in fight; happy marriages do listen to every view point, recognize them and if it threatens to go off the rail; try to mend them together!
Hinges crusted with past scabs, all that the door to your heart needs is a hard push. Ignore the screeching hinges and push firmly. Loving with all your heart, generously and fearlessly, will come back to you in dollops not dribs.
Accepting the inadequate rewards you with ever lasting bliss. In fact, being in argument means youโre normal and mad and hopelessly in love with each other!!
Age doesnโt matter
Been in wedlock for more than three decades and I have never considered age anything more than a numerical inaccuracy; some numbers that needs to be tackled all the time. The only thing that worries me is that it works more as a multiplier than as a division sum. We all get reduced to a fraction of what we once were!
But what the heckโฆ!
At 40 you could still be the pig tailed gal or some jaunty good looking knock-out beau! Both of you could still climb the trees, jump the wall and beat up all the boys. Young and raunchy, fiercely ambitious with disdain for conventions, you both have had your share of one heartbreak, one breakdown, one true love, one success, one moment of despair and gloom โ you have had mountains of them.
Yet looking into each otherโs cringing eyes, creaking knees and despairingly loosening skin, things are not so crest fallen. Now that you have learned to love your lines and folds, aches and pains lose ground.
Besides there is no shame in growing old and struggling a bit. It never felt better for me to have equivalent of a generalโs medal, pinned to my frame; and a reminder of all the battles I have survived and the ones I won!
Feature credits: ’10 Secrets for Happy Relationship and Tips for long lasting happy marriage life’ by Kennis World in Youtube.com on Sep 20, 2019.
Reality check? Wellโฆ โYou do complete each otherโ. Age is a fabled minion thatโs romantic and lets you flies high in the real world.
Seeing the glass as half empty might inspire you to fill it up!
Image source: โSkinny dancer jumping over sandโ by Andrew in pexels.com.
Happiness for me is an elusive virtue and for the most part โthink positiveโ belief fails me as a miracle fizz for mental wellness; one that you could pop in and instantly make half empty glass turn half full and everything around is suddenly bright and sunny. But just because I generally donโt eye the world from behind those rose tinted glasses, doesnโt mean that somethingโs wrong with me!
Sounds weird…doesn’t it? if this rings freaking odd to you, then you could actually be the one who is ecstatic and all pumped up about happiness, but is more miserable within!
How many times have you been told that great things happen so long as you believe them possible to happen and think positive? From pop psychology to improv classes to self improvement blogs; hype surrounding the advantages of positive thinking never leaves the din.
Sure, itโs good to be positive. It reduces stress and probably tweaks health. And it makes me vote for one profound statement that usually proves naysayers wrong; optimism bags you rewards most of the times including your well being!
But what about those who tend to see glass as half empty rather than half full? Does that mean that they cannot keep your sunny side up all the time? Is being a pessimist that bad?
I would say that only a handful recognize that our unhappiness lies in overly high expectations and too little struggle to overcome snags early on. Damned!…the millennials always get shamed as a โburnout generationโ thatโs left with few choices to make.
Because we couldnโt make time for happiness; we are busy, confused and sad.
Fortunately a grim outlook doesnโt need to be a permanent one. You may get scattered from mildly pessimistic to relentlessly optimistic. But if you get hunkered down at the perilous end, you could still reap some benefits of being downbeat without burning yourself out.
And it takes only a few changes. Small and gradual; they are nothing like what youโd expect;
To begin with hereโs a few of them;
Youโve been pushing yourself too hard to be happy.
Negativity sometimes works as a great defense ammo. You donโt get always crushed when things donโt work out your way. It never distracts you from a pessimistโs favorite past time; brainstorming.
But itโs not always good to beat a dead horse! When you are ruminating; itโs not just another bad day, itโs always a bad day in a bad life of a bad person!
Besides, pessimism loves to blow even a minor problem to a billboard size one.
I couldnโt easily overcome that valley low feeling whenever I get stormed loud and messy. Itโs overwhelming. I get screwed up fast because I couldnโt burn the bridges behind my back! Maybe my octopus teachings are not profound as it goes.
Do you think you would be left with any room to focus, if it soaks up so much of bandwidth? Itโs no surprise why dreamers never fail to outsmart the pessimist in you on happiness index.
So, find yourself some quick distraction you can use whenever you realize that youโve been stuck up with same negative thought for long. Pitch yourself into activities that ask for your full attention. Yoga, aerobics, calling a friend or even absorb some music. It might help you to avoid falling flat on your face.
And donโt be some eternal jaded jerk; it never feels epic. Itโs perfectly alright to get depressed. Just stop trying to be happy. Stay in your lane and you may end up making more money and win over a happier marriage!!
It feels so good to blame someone else for your woes
โIโm lousy at tennisโ; โMy opponent has a killer serve.โ
If you are the one whose way of interpreting lifeโs ups and down is dismissive and begins as an inane story with petty perspectives, then you could be failing in giving some basis respect to your self. When good things happen to you, you dismiss it as a fluke; when bad things happen you jump to blame yourself and brace yourself for a long spell of silent sufferings!
But you are not like some textbook dingbat who would wake up each morning wondering which and what went wrong. Are you?โฆ
Bad events are like one time problems and disappear quickly. And optimists too get their dark afternoons. Cancer patients among them are just as badly depressed as their pessimistic counterparts.
So, when you catch yourself being dark, glum and all that, re-frame the problem so that it doesnโt sound like yours alone. Instead of standing all by yourself and thinking โNo one is interested in meโโโI am pathetic!โ, try something more bright; โWhereโs the hostess? How could she let a newcomer fend for herself without making introductions? I most certainly wouldnโt allow that to happenโ!
No scapegoats of course! But it helps to recognize that youโre not the problem, even if your behavior could use some pinch.
Besides, it feels good to keep practicing your tennis serve even if youโre not sure how would you rally against someone at your level. Itโs always promising and worthwhile to throw a bad serve than drop the racket.
Feature credits: ‘The Optimist’s Creed -‘Denzil Washington’ by The Motiv8 in YouTube.com on Dec.18, 2015.
If only youโd imagine the world is coming to end.
Another thing that darkens your prospects to be happy is your penchant to make a mountains out of a molehill. You are always hyperlinked to yourself, rewriting grim possibilities until they blow off and turn into something of a doomsday screenplay. A simple cough turns into pneumonia; not the kind that would let you recover from ever! One missed deadline and itโs fast forward into permanent unemployment!
โAm I really to live beneath an underpass in a freeze box because Iโm a day late on a project?โ
Worst case scenarios are usually absurd but rewinding and playing them over and over again, makes illogical appear inevitable!
And it sucks!
Soโฆ just think of the outcomes thatโs most likely. Chances are you are gonna miss the executive suit, but it wonโt be under the freeway either!
The stunner of all this messing around is, that you do get to feel a bit of power over your thoughts and situation. The sense of nursing pessimism each morning works fine, for the world is not going to get shrunk in one day.
Keep trying and youโll get whatโs coming to you!
Do you know why your opponent at tennis court ends up with so much to feel good about at the end of the day? Long after you have given up and gone home still thinking suckers!โฆ he keeps trying to unscramble impossible- to-solve mind benders!
Thereโs a lot of payoffs in this. Persistence is the cutting edge and it means what !โฆsuccess at school,fatter paychecks at work and wider social acceptability. Who wouldnโt want to make some brilliant win sometimes?
If you are looking for the quickest way to get yourself in the loop, then act like the person you want to be; Itโs only about changing the way you feel and the way you think that would define you.
When recognition is the only inspiration, act like you have triumphed some crazy big match battling it out with confidence and hard work. โFake it till you make itโ for this can have surprisingly strong and immediate impact on your emotions. But then, it works only when you correctly identify something within yourself thatโs holding you back.
Get surrounded with upbeat people
Yawns like smile are contagious. Positive vibes work the same way. Hanging around with people who arenโt so grouchy about anything and everything, could be your one-way ticket out of an unrelenting pessimism. And if you are not feeling particular chatty, you donโt have to talk about whatโs troubling you or put around the word that your mind is in a negative tizz. No need for anybody to know exactly whatโs bothering you.
But simply being surrounded with positive minded people is usually enough to trigger a grin all around and shift your mood.
Image source: Vlada Karpovich in pexels.com
So, keep your frown right where it is, for some form of pessimism actually heals when not taken too far. Ignored and unforgiving;it in fact is protective and sometimes rewarding!
Whateverโฆ
Someoneโs telling you โnoโ, is always a problem.
Small choices! Yupโฆbut encourage yourself to smile, smileโฆand smile for this world is only about solutions; not problems.
And happiness is a journey where so many things make you happier, #guaranteed.
And it doesnโt mean that a downright naked-inโa-crowd nightmare is waiting to happen!
Hereโs what happens after you nod off.
Image source: ‘Can lucid dreaming help us understand consciousness?’ by David Robinson in theguardian.com on Nov. 14. 2021.
Did you have a dream last night that has left you bonkers? Is it the one that drops in on you day after day?
Spooky!โฆMaybe it’s trying to tell you something.
Or perhaps itโs our brain’s way of communicating while we sleep. Itโs wired like that but…
Oddly our mind isnโt. Itโs as recklessly restless as ever. In fact it stays as active as it is while we are awake. Of course it doesnโt work like a neon sign, flash momentarily and do away with the dreaming business. But while awake it gushes around analyzing things happening around usโฆfeel, touch, emotions, events; just about anything that we bump into.
Strangely enough, all of this can turn into dreams, though itโs not always obvious what dreams try to tell us. Sometimes we get freaky ones that stick out. At others, these could be downright frightening.
What does it mean when you dream you canโt find your shoes? What if you go blind in dreams? What if you dreamed of getting divorced? Right from abysmal fall to a frightening abduction by ETs, every moment of your dream has something to speak of about yourself that you wouldnโt realize otherwise.
So…read on for some startling revelations! Hereโs to few common dreams and what they might be trying to tell you!
You are running like hell
You definitely are mobbed by some insecurities. You worry too much about what people at work think of you; howโd they react to anything new happening in your life. Just about anything and everything disquiets you.
I wouldnโt wait for anything steroidal happening, if I were you. I would let go anything and everything crazy and creepy.
You can’t find your shoes
You couldnโt make up your mind over some important decision you have to make or some cracking position you have been asked to assume.
If you find you have misplaced something of value in dreams; itโs just that you donโt think much of yourself and value yourself a little less in real life. You could be steaming low on self esteem in waking life.
You are falling into an abysmal depth
Itโs a huge red flag for you! Itโs a sign that you have some major issues in life; work, relationship, just about anywhere. You would feel as if things are running out of control and there is very little you could do about it. You are rather hanging too tightly to something particular in waking life. So simply relax and let go of it.
You dream of your loved ones suffering
Would there be anything worse than to wake up from a dream where you watched your loved one suffer. It feels valley low. Guilt pangs have hit you hard for having done something wrong in your relationship with this person. Atone it and feel wonderful.
You dream of death
If you die or feel like dying, it might be that something in your life is coming to an end. It doesn’t necessarily mean foreboding death or you having some terminal illness you didn’t realize you had. In your waking life this signifies that a part of you is changing. How you react to the event in dreams is the only way to know if the change is a welcome one or has been forced upon you.
You are late
…And you couldnโt find ways to make a rush for some very important date! You are not a White rabbit yet you have panicked for being late! This simply means that you are overwhelmed and inundated with work stress. Being late makes you feel as if youโre making promises that you canโt keep. Donโt leapfrog but strap your boots tight!
You have become stinking rich
You have struck gold! You have won the lottery and you are feeling at the top of the world. This sudden richness in dream reveals your deepest desires- from being rich to traveling the world and mean that you have become more wiser in waking life. Not so much material as spiritual wealth, it would also mean elevation of your worth to others. No pep talk this one! Itโs the beginning of a new you.
This is great! Now that you know of it; chase them.
You’re in love
This is serious! If you bump into a passionate date in dreams and feel as if you are about to fall in love, then kick yourself!! You lack this kind of intimacy and passion in your waking life. Your love life, if any is all flattening and your uniqueness is being ignored.
You have missed the ride
You find yourself stranded on a platform or tarmac for having missed your flight or the train has departed. Itโs a sign that you are weighed down by too many commitments. Maybe you are pushing yourself too much in waking life and fallen from grace one time too often. It hurts. But you can get to redeem yourself once you become intensely aware of your deep seated priorities. Just leave unnecessary baggage behind and be friends to your internal vibes. Remember; you cannot beat the clock!
You have done horrible things
You dream of having committed some satanic crime and trying desperately to cover it up. This could mean that thereโs a problem inside you and you need to address it fast before you get a meltdown. Besides a whole host of other wild dream-crimes might leave you feeling evil.
You’re unable to speak
If your voice fails you in your dream, this could mean you are bedeviled with some unresolved tension in your waking life. You really want to be out with whatโs in your mind and to speak and be heard. Begin with addressing issues in waking life if you feel ignored and have found no way to make your opinions heard.
Thereโs always a better way to shoot the breeze!
Image source: ‘The serious health consequences of not dreaming’ by Derek Beres in bigthink.com on Mar.25, 2018.
You’re flying
Flying in a dream is extremely freeing. It encourages you to let go of things you couldnโt handle and let things happen the way they should. Itโs a sign that you have freed yourself from something frustrating and difficult to overcome. Good times or mere coincidence?โฆ may be; but even this feels only when you have managed some weighty decision or whacked through some serious responsibility.
Thatโs a dream I wouldnโt miss to get onboard with!
You are being intimate with a coworker
Strangely enough, intimate brush in dreams isnโt as straightforward as it sounds. If you dream of being physical with a coworker, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a crush on them. You could actually be looking for an inner connect with that someone having โpositive traits you admireโ and would โwelcome in your own lifeโ.
You showed up for an exam but weren’t prepared
You have showed up for an exam and suddenly your heart sinks! you realize you are totally unprepared for it! You feel weird. Bile is swelling in your throat and a sour taste fills your mouth. You fear, maybe you have prep for the wrong subject or just can’t make anything of pages before you.
This dream is a sign of something positive in you; you are a high performer, hard worker and believe in doing things right. So, no heavy hearts! Simply put, itโs your fear of being unprepared that keeps you stoked to be totally ready to perform.
You need to pee, but couldnโt find the wash room
You need it badly, you’re trying but couldnโt find a toilet! If you get bogged down with this dream, may be youโre not addressing your own needs rightly in your waking life .
You literally want to let the crap out of your life. You want to declutter and let go of something or someone you couldnโt hold onto any longer. But you just couldnโt!
Of course!โฆ you might actually do need to go to wash room because your subconscious is tipping-off with dreams of you looking for bathroom in vain.
Search yourself and get rid of dark afternoons!!
You’re getting married to a stranger
A sense of unawareness about your partner to whom you are getting married, is a manifestation of untold fears. You are not totally sure of yourself, what is expected of you and that you might be committing to something that you are uncertain of. You doubt if you will have enough time for yourself if you commit.
You’re getting divorced
You are crass enough to have filled your schedule with too many things and are overwhelmed if you dream of this. Should you despair?
No! this one is trying to tell you that you have failed to balance your commitments and keep up the promises you made to someone close to your heart. You are succumbing to perils of your obligations and everything feels going murderously berserk.
You’re standing stark naked in public
Have you ever woken up in a dream to find yourself completely naked? If you feel at ease being buck naked, you probably couldnโt be more comfortable in your own skin. However, if you are scrambling for cover, it could just be that you feel vulnerable and not happy with who you are right now.
Itโs a relief that itโs a dream only, but it might be time for you to find ways to get comfortable opening up to others. An improv class might just be the right choice to begin with.
People from waking life keep showing up
Itโs perfectly normal to find friends and family in your dreams, but itโs confusing when you stumble upon an acquaintance. This may mean that someone has left impression on you and might turn important to you in the future. If you dream of someone you like (or love) with someone else, it would mean that youโve lost the fire and arenโt so passionate about them as the other people around you are!
You’re in an empty room feeling trapped and scared
You’ve got untapped talents for sure. But if you are in an empty room with closed doors or barred windows and feeling spooky and all, it could be about something old that you haven’t look at before; anything related to your lifeโyour job, a relationshipโthat you’ve shut the door on.
But…no need to be eternally skeptic. It’s only about trying to open that door, even if you’re scared. Take your gloves off and do your bit. If you canโt switch up something major, it wouldnโt hurt to go on holiday for a bit.
Image source: ‘Lucid Dreaming’โฏ by Daviona Plowright in driveforwardfoundation.org on Jun.22, 2020,
You’ve gone blind
If you suffer blindness in dream it could just be that you’re overlooking something in life or worry that you aren’t able to see something. You are in a situation in life or your personality where you have hit a blind spot. You debility in dreams may be expressing areas in your life that you have been dismissive and cruel to.
In waking life you need to go beyond what the eyes see and find out ways to respond in a legit way.
You’re searching for someone
If you dream you’re searching for someone, it would mean that you are trying to reconnect with your own identity that you havenโt touched for so long. Dear me!…nothing to do with that particular person.
Youโre lost in sea and drowning
These ones are pretty scary!! You are lost somewhere mid-ocean and youโre boat is sinking fast. This tells you that youโre feeling overwhelmed or unsupported somewhere in your life โeither by your loved ones, friends, or at work.
You have found heaps of yummy food
Did you went to bed hungry? If not, this could be something deeper. Food symbolizes energy, knowledge, or nourishment. So, when you dream of it it could mean that you long for more knowledge or somebody or insights about something.
Demons have scared you to death
Whether or not youโre the one of them, if you dream of running around in their midst, it tells that you are secretly feeling as though you should change your behavior. Youโre worried stiff about it lately.
Itโs time you get rid of that garbage ways and earn some basic respect for yourself!
Youโre paralyzed
This is the scariest thing that can happen to somebody in dreams. Dreaming of paralysis indicates that you have a lack of control in your waking life. Sleep paralysis though can occur at the moment between REM sleep and the waking stage of sleep.
Your teeth are falling out
Events in your life are in upheaval. You’ve probably lost something of value in life; maybe a job and with it, your feeling of being in control. Your teeth are the symbol of your confidence and how powerful you feel. So if you dream like this; something is definitely causing your confidence to crumble in waking life.
You’re accused of a crime
If dreams where you find yourself an accused or actually having committed a crime, torment you then probably you’re hiding something from yourself in your waking lifeโand it isn’t always have to be negative.
The hate dreams where we commit or stand accused some crime usually mimes a conscious choice that we make in waking life to gain wider social acceptance.
Worrying for a lifeline! Ignore some of your personal needs; purge yourself of any guilt and try fitting in. Itโs perfectly alright to stay in your lane and redefine yourself.
Feature credits: ‘Interesting Facts About Dreams’ by Kendra Cherry in verywellmind.com on Feb.11, 2021.
So, does this all mean that you should worry! Are your teeth actually going to fall out?
Hell no!!โฆ
Donโt psyche yourself out!
If you are all worked up and fear losing sleep over what your dreams might be trying to sell you, you need not dwell over it for long for one simple reasonโฆ
You are not alone!!
We all share more or less the same fantasies and nightmares and rummage for the meaning behind those strange way of messaging. Itโs only the way we interpret them that matters.
What dreams speak of is not always as undisguised as you would want to; but you would sleep a little more soundly tonight if only you knew what your mindโs trying to tell.
Itโs seven in the morning and you have just slammed shut your bedside alarm clock##@@**
It goes off again; you press snooze but it wouldnโt mind.
With the next shrill buzz, you hop out of the bed and hustle to get ready. A quick head -out- of -the- front -door is whatโs uppermost in your mind.
And then you realize that you havenโt thought of anything for breakfast.
Yup!…You do need a good one to ride you through supper.
Again thinking of skipping it? Running short of time, rushed morning or simply not hungry!! If you are missing out, then you definitely are one of those 37% of young working people, who would rather hop breakfast than be put off by Bossโs disapproving glare, for the rest of the day
Pity…if it happens daily!
Morning cuppa java is fine to ease out of your sleep, but to kick starts your body, you need enough of breakfast to breakโ the overnight โfastโ quickly.
So, are you doing enough to outsmart the โfour pillarโ challenge everybody is talking so much about these days? Are you good with nutrients? Do you savor your first tuck of the day and get enough of it without going overboard? Have you ever tried new food combinations to expand your palate or checked on some new healthy delicious choice?
Search for answers and Iโm pretty sure, you wouldnโt fare any good on those healthcare indices when it comes to taking a delicious, sporty healthy breakfast to fuel you and get you moving in the morning-quick!โฆ if you couldnโt manage some.
It sucks!!โฆ you need to dig deep.
After all, itโs nutrition that you require each day, is what we are talking about.
So, how about swapping your egg benedict with something more exotic? Cereal and toast; bagel and cream-cheese; bacon, eggs and hash browns; you have had enough of these old timers. Itโs time you re-imagined what your platter should look like, if a jump-to breakfast is your only option.
From warm noodle soup to fluffy steamed bao, from cottage cheese to black beans to flavorful veggies; some savory, some bold and pungent, some mellow and natura fare; look up for some delicate heart-matter inspiring new-to-you alternatives to your standard breakfast that would lit you up enough to become a breakfast believer!
If you know how to weigh-in your food choices and get yourself some good taste to experience without rushing into a diet disaster, upgrade your morning meal with some healthy, inspiring favorites.
Hereโs to what to eat when your day begins all rushed-upโฆ
Egg Hopper
Image source: ‘Sri Lankan egg hoppers with chilli and coconut sambol’ in coop.co.uk.
โWhat is this mysterious pancake clutching my eggs and toast?โ you ask yourself as you struggle with your senses over breakfast.
Flaunting a fiery mix of sambols (mix of freshly grated coconut, chili pepper and red onion ), some coconut gravy and a spoonful of creamy dhal (dried, split pulses), it wouldnโt be long before you fall in love with your first Egg Hopper Sri Lankan style for breakfast.
A simple affair of fresh chilli, onion relish and pol sambol mix, this delicious satisfying oomph dish has the punch to make you come alive in no time. Yeast raised coconut and rice flour pancakes sporting luscious yellow of egg yoke in the center and cooked in a small wok with lid, are a spicy delight and exciting to tuck. Lacy, crisp with slightly steamed texture, it takes less than five minutes to cook from start to finish. When served with exotic add-ons like fried mushroom, bacon, sausage and fresh fruits. it sets out a profound rendition of English breakfast.
Greek-Style Scrambled Egg
Image source: ’10 Traditional Greek Breakfast Recipes’ by KIm in insanelygoodrecipes.com on Jun. 09, 2021.
Youโve heard it before; your first meal of the day is the most important! But you wouldnโt care if it doesnโt come with a caveat; something with short cook time and no major meal prepping.
See…you have hands full mornings!
Easy to make and low in saturated fat, salt and sugar, this one is yet another great way to jump start your day. Heaps of protein will keep your energy up without spiking blood sugar.
Throw in some spring onions, shallots, dried thyme or herbs for a little extra punch of flavor. Swap ยฝ cup of tofu for the eggs and use any combination of vegetables, cheese, and spices. Stir in some feta cheese before serve; better do that in a whole grain pita pocket and with some fresh cut fruit, to perk up this energy boosting food to help you get a heap of extra fiber and load of antioxidants.
Oatmeal with spinach and poached egg
Image source: ‘Healthy Homemade Savory Oatmeal with Eggs Mushrooms and Spinach’ in gpembrace.com
When you need something in a snap for breakfast, oatmeal is one easy way to go. No refined flour or unnecessary fats, itโs an excellent source of fiber and carbs, and would give you the energy push you need first thing in the morning!
But itโs not uncommon of you to turn shy of it. It would slip into your failed menu item list in no time, if it stays bedeviled for long!
Try combining it with spinach and poached eggs with a dash of hot sauce and fresh grounded pepper. A heaping full bowl of this comfort food will just be the right choice to begin a perfect week day.
If the idea of quick sugar fixes like cereal isnโt your thing, then a good portion of this nourishing recipe is your answer for an easy, warming and incredibly hearty morning meal.
EggQuesadilla
For all that; not sure what to have for breakfast today? Since egg breakfast ideas are the name of the game, a simple Quesadilla is my pick for a grab โn go breakfast for busy mornings.
Stuffed with scrambled eggs, green peppers, freshly grated cheddar or Monterrey Jack cheese and veggies, all enveloped between two crispy tortilla shells; this food is sure to leave you smiling on busy mornings.
Wise fillings only please; no watery veggies like tomatoes, cucumber! Check out for preheated meat only since the cooking time may not be enough to render it soft. The addition of toppings like guacamole, salsa, and sour cream would simply spin this food to perfection!
If I were you and looking for ways for some easy tasty breakfasts, I would whip up a few of these in no time for sure.
Weekday breakfast or weeknight dinner, quesadillas definitely do the trick!
Green Shakshuka
You have worked late and have slept fitfully. Now you’re standing in the kitchen, eyes still halfway open, sipping on coffee like a living-dead! And then the aromas of sizzling tomatoes, onions, red pepper, greens and spices waft into the air. You wake up wide and good to a hot ‘n’ spicy tomatillo-spiked brekkie, that is ideal to dig in with some crusty bread.
Image source: ‘The Mess Free, One-Pan Flavour Bomb!’ in bondiharvest.com.
A flawless, versatile and a delicious hearty cache of protein, eggs can be poached, fried, hard-boiled, whisked into a frittata, and served with anything sitting in your freezer; somehow, they always work.
Cloud-Egg Croque Madame
Have you ever given cloud eggs a try?
When the sink is already full of dirty dishes and morning rush is on you,go ahead and prep yourself an epic breakfast sandwich out of some creamy lemony eggs!
This egg-cellent croque dish is a mash-up of vintage French croque madame and a classic rally of cloud egg. At heart, with a toasted cheese and ham sandwich topped off by a simple fried egg, this dish is actually easier to make than it looks. The fluffy texture makes it even feel like you are devouring a cloud. With a runny yolk oozing and cascading down the sides of a crispy cheesy-peasey sandwich and an insanely fluffy egg white sitting atop, this lip smacking spin-off is an insane invitation to polish it off straightaway!
Feature credits: ” How to make Cloud Eggs(Eggs on a Cloud)’ by Happy Foods Tube in Youtube.com on May.18, 2017.
Look!โฆ I love pancakes and waffles for breakfast as much as you do, but honestly; both are more of a dessert than a sumptuous healthy food.
And when you start rubbing โred velvet,โ or โBrownieโ waffles, itโs like;โOKโ. But โI wonโtโ.
Indulgent, lot more traditional andโฆno kidding! I too live for some great sun-up breakfast ideas but not as wild as those blinking calorie pushers or sugar scammers.
Morning rushes or not, I am not the one to skip breakfast!.
โHow could anyone ever think of missing it out or settle for some lame one!โ
Whateverโฆ
If you are the one who hustles each AM between putting last minute touches to todayโs presentation; to finding where you took off your shoes the day before; to figuring out some good explanation for being late, itโs easy that you will miss a good brekkie before you rush out of the door.
But it doesnโt have to be!
Mornings are hectic but you donโt need to flip omelets or bake fresh granola for a not-so-quick breakfast every morning.
Build up a breakfast menu from the likes of these easy yummy ideas. Youโd find them good enough to fall back to each day of the week. And I wouldnโt worry much for a whole new menu each week either, if I were you!
Feeling inspired?
Next time you wake up feeling peckish, try one of these scrumptious deals to take your first bite of the day to next level.
If Paul Simon or David Crosby had their way and ruled the world forever; all weโd need is to make a call and a BFF would show up right on our doorsteps!
Reality however, is like some dark afternoon and friendship is the stormiest of all the ties. As hard it is to find ethereal love, arguably it is even more difficult to pick up a new pal whom we can really connect to.
Image source: Sudip Paul in Pexels.com.
Free time is scarce- For everybody! And so are friends.
Making one, particularly in this day and age, isnโt easy either!
They just donโt appear. You have to intentionally reach out to someone who doesnโt bore you, is not a hypocrite and never stalls to share.
And I was running scarce on friends!!
So, I set up certain tricky standards before I could touch elbows. I looked around for adjacent friends; the types you sometimes get to see at the Gung-ho parties that usually share mutual friends, but never get to have one-to-one conversations.
Still I didnโt know how to get past that awkward small talk and double time the โHi! would you care to be friendsโ business. I had always thought of making friends but dreaded going to the drawing board.
I tried to fit in with the people I already knewโฆwell it just didnโt happenโฆmaybe it was way deeper than I thought it ought to!
The year I turned fifty was the year I realized I didnโt have friends. I was moving into a new decade of my life and felt strongly about my career, accomplishments and relationships.
Yet when somebody would ask me whom I will send a โred heartโ on friendship day; my mouth will open, I would gulp and nothing would come out but a long trail of โummmsโโฆ
Like everybody else I loved to hang around with friends. I was wary and timid but would always manage to survive the cutting edge. I would often step out of the box and was friends to many. I was spending very few hours of any day alone!
When I moved out to my job after University, I could still manage to get people to hang around with and never fell short of full social calendar. Real or notโฆthose guys never left me off the hook. I was a footloose and always raring to fight fire with fire at the drop of a hat!
But then something changed!
A lot many of them got married and drifted off; a few shifted to bigger cities and I felt flat. For once I was robbed-off togetherness.
Crank calls grew stale and scarce. We would rarely see each other and whenever that happened, it felt empty. It were as if everybody had burnt the bridges behind their backs! No hang outs, no pep talks…no happy hours to attend; it sensed like I was laid-off from my full time job.
As if this was not enough of a complete shocker, an old timer buddy also left behind, declared abruptly that he no longer wanted to be friends anymore and wouldnโt care less if I felt the same way!
The last straw was blown to windsโฆ. Everybody had hung me out to dry.
I felt sad and lonely. I was nearing retreat and struggling to be mates!
For the mess, I placed a lot of blame on myself. I was canceling weekend plans. I was forgetting to respond to text messages for days. It felt like I hadnโt invested time in fueling friendship. It was like I usurped everything to run it dry. I could have shown more interest in my friends and their families. Instead I chose to spend a lot of my free time sulking and arguing myself.
Why I couldnโt have someone to call a best friend ?
Why wouldnโt I have a guest list nice and long enough to reserve more than a table for two on my Anniv blast?
With so many screaming lives running at full speed and in different directions, itโs hard to slow down long enough to find and develop new friends. People are hooked more than ever onto devices; so finding someone who would care more for a real life connect is a challenge.
Did I get to make new friends?โฆ
I realized that I needed a few things before I could rake up quick rapport with someone. Little did I know then that I was prepping myself for a new decade; both in age and life!
And this is how I saved myself hours of tepid, dead-end banter…
It was my call…so;
Feature credits:’ Value of Friends”by manu7 production in Youtube.com on Nov. 13. 2017.
I hustled to bore people!
Arenโt we all aware of the things to talk about when we meet somebody for the first time? Sports, weather, workโฆ trivia only; and we worry that anything close to our heart might scare people away. This drift of playing safe, stonewalls everything we build to know about a person- if he or she is the right one to be a friend in the making!
Daring outcomes, I decided to let go of the slipshod gossip and went straight for what moved me.
โWhat do you think is the best television finale of all time?โ โHave you heard about the Pentagonโs recent UFO report?โ
I would find these to be a great starter so long as they could stir up some interest for me. I would back away if it worked otherwise and that would save me some rancid moments!
Whatever…I thought either way I would end up happy all the same.
If I could strike a chord; I have won, If I didnโtโฆ
Well! I never liked the idea of going public and make myself speak out to strangers in the first place.
Besides I abhorred the idea of putting down my phone whenever I went public!
I pushed myself to get curious about people
โWhatโs a belief you have that has changed over the course of your life?โโWhat has been challenging for you the last year?โ
Asking something like this helps to strengthen the fetters, or so I thought. Knowing each otherโs opinion over things trivial without judging them might just about crush the challenge.
It felt good;I thought I have finally found a way to make the kill!
But It didnโt work out that way for me โฆ
May be I was asking them to reveal so early about who they were or trying to be. I realized that there is no substitute for time when we think of bonding strongly to somebody.
So I pulled off those superficial stunts to avoid rejection andโฆ
I didnโt have to wait for long to feel connected.
My take on this?...
Next time youโre partying, or hanging around with some one you might want to befriend, ask yourself whatโs worth sharing and whatโs worth knowing.
Get right to it only thereafter.
I decided to give it a try and said โcheese!โ
Seriously! I tagged in ‘smile‘ on my list, for I think it is a powerful way to pickup connections. For one thing, smile takes you out of your head and defines you as profound as it goes. For another, you are no longer being dismissive or cruel.
Besides, who would want to be friends to some grumpy, irritable or crestfallen face?
So, I thought if I could connect to someone by showing off those pearly whites; why not?
I could afford to burn a little, if that helps!
I stepped out of the box
Am I limiting myself? I could easily hit it off with people some 10 years older than me. The only glitch was that I wasnโt sure if I would find somebody brave enough, to hero a dingbat like meโฆ
And it felt like a half baked whiz kid idea fated to end miserably.
A fabled friend to many in the past, I couldnโt dare to stick my neck out and get along with 25-something people either!
I find no shame in struggling a bit; yet I couldnโt find that one soul, I was looking for.
I know this happen sometimes; but to me it happened one time too many. I did come across people who would share mutual respect for Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings and Jumanji. Next thing we know, we would be meeting for weekly brunches and all that pep talk!
But like always…itโs harder. I would end all screwed up. I canโt get past the feeling that I was the only person in the party without a partner in crime.
It just wouldnโt work for me.
Whatever the reason, I decided to stay put and not get discouraged. I knew that with enough self confidence, flexibility and patience, some day I will find friends โ and get to keep them for life.
I wouldnโt queue up though!
Image source: Eren Li in pexels.com
Today, down the line with 10 years of craziness behind me, it doesnโt feel valley low. I remember to laugh, listen and be kind. I wouldnโt ever let no one who comes to me, leave without feeling better and happier.
I did though find someone freaking awesome with a beautiful mind!!
Life has since taken a coin flip for good. I hum with joy and stay stoked all day long. I wake up each morning wondering if my Octopus teachings did score a point!
โWhat are you sayingโ? she would quip; โFriends are a choice to make and donโt come with a tagโ; if I were to tell her what it all means to me.
โWhy would you say that you get lonely when both of us know that we are not desperate to find each other every day of our lives? “
โIsnโt being together and sharing, the same thing as friendship?โ
And she would lit up the world for me.
Both of us would agree and smile but she would still chide softly.
For all that I know about it, it sounds picklish! Itโs kinda box full of darkness.. You imagine being so close to your beau and you wouldn’t know if saying it would change your life for any good. You feel you mean to talk about love. But before saying things clicheโ about the moon!…think about what it really means. Isnโt it any better if said it in your own way!!
Image credit: ‘I Get That Youโre Busy, But Thatโs Not An Excuse To Leave ANY Relationship Unnurtured’ by Dallas Jordan in theodesseyonline.com on Nov. 26, 2018.
# “The sun rises, and a bear and cub begin their day together. They splash in the water, climb mountains, and watch the shimmering sky. They show their love by touching noses, playing chase, and of course, hugging“…
โI Love You to the Moon and Backโ is a sweet heart-tugging emotional gentle tale of a bear and her cub; an adorable read by Amelia Hepworth; a sweet gentle rhymeโฆ
And it never fails to touch the strings…
Today, I am miles away from the person I was at fourteen; far away from those bittersweet mushy feelings that were a torment sometimes. I couldnโt win myself over to tell others what love is all about.
It always ended drearily;
Like everybody else, I too wanted to party on special days especially if it was a birthday or prom party!
Is it really not any easy thing to measure? I would wonder.
Itโs always been a meh for me. โWill you be my friend? And it will end abruptly.
Guess I couldnโt ever fake things over!
Feature credits: ‘Love You To The Moon and Back’ by Betsy Benn in Youtube.com on Feb.03, 2019.
Love- I hear everybody say, is a beautiful feeling and finds many ways to manifest itself. So, saying to someone โI Love You to the Moon and Backโ; Is it a perfect way to treat somebody perfect? I have heard this countless times from those in serious relationships. It sounds just like a mother who loves her baby and tries to make her sleep.
It even sounds hoarse some times.
Perhaps they find it the best way to moonshine their love for someone more than anything or anyone else.
Maybe I toy with half baked ideas for long. May be I wasnโt a whiz kid after all.
I just didnโt know why! But I did figure out how.
It is the easiest thing to say I love you. Yet you are in for a rough time if you couldnโt voice your passion. Because love sets out for utter loyalty and you canโt fathom it; the best you can do is feel it and make your partner feel that he or she is the whole world for you.
I read it somewhere that our heart draws energy enough to drive a truck some 20 miles each day! Whoa!…reckon itโs equivalent to driving to moon and back in an average lifetime! So when you are as happy as a clam in your relationship and fired up enough to belter out โI Love You to the Moon and Backโ, you are essentially saying that you love them with all the blood your heart will pump in your entire life time.
Thatโs sweetโฆ and greatโฆ and equally meaningful!
I however, find it gross and extremely clichรฉ. Just too many people on too many occasions air their emotions the same way. Itโs kinda wising off love to stay connected.
And why the moon? Why not the sun? Why not some other planets like Mars or Pluto? Have we unseated them because of the distance or that they are now considered dwarf planets?
The moon is about 238855 miles away. So when we blurt out our love this way, do we mean to say that we guarantee love only for 477710 miles only?
Thatโ some mathematicsโฆ Your guarantee to stay in love expires by the time you turn 60 assuming you are twenty now. Even a car could get you to travel approx 12000 kms every year.
So, that doesnโt tag you to a very strong way to promise love to eternityโฆ
My take on this? Wellโฆ. Itโs tad different than what you might think!
I believe that if I was twenty years old and have posted on Instagram โI love you to the moon and back,โ to someone I assume I would be expected not to love that person when I got 60.
Thatโs real Cool! A simpleโ I love youโ doesnโt work these days. People need that extra frill to express themselves. An extra pizza that everyone else has- would do just fine.
But if this is what everybody is hollering for, should it mean the same to everybody?
#โWhat is Real?โ asked the rabbit.โ โReal isnโt how you are made,โ said the Skin Horse. โItโs a thing that happens to you.โ Margery Williamsin The Velveteen Rabbit.
Image credit: ‘Powerful Full Moon Love Spells’ by Emma Waston in love-spells-that-really-work.com on JUn.17, 2016.
I have been in blissful wedlock for over thirty years with a coy, broad vision gal who never heard of this quote anytime earlier in her life and finds it rather amusing.
โWhat are you sayingโ?she would quip; โYou can say it better in your own wordsโ, if I were to tell her what it all means to everybody else.
โWhy would you say that when both of us know that we are not desperate to find each other every time each day of our lives? โIsnโt being together and sharing and caring is same thing as love?โ
Both of us know that but still she would admonish.
I assume you are wondering if I have gotten into something too philosophical. Whatโ s all this musing is about, if revelation is not worth it?
Thatโ some food for everyone of us to think about.
Besides she might take more than a minute to figure out what this phrase is really all about?
But that is the pointโฆ!
Over the moon?โฆ not yet, but Iโm Ok with that. Together we have won over many of those cytokine kinda storm of chemicals that leaves us blinded with screaming rage for a while. There are moments of frayed tempers, bad arguments, and godforsaken sizzlers tearing us apart! We might as well be driving each other crazy.
But we manage to get that mess out of our hairs โ each time. There is no shame in struggling a bit.
Oh shootโฆ! Ask no questions and hear no lies!! No..click bait story that I know you wouldnโt buy.
Itโs just that finding happiness in your life begins with not wanting to be happy all the time. Itโs fine to have bad days. Even when everything in our lives is going well, still there are days when one of us is in bad mood. Life sucks.. everything feels and works awful sometimes.
When it gets this bad, we slow down for three minutesโฆ no more and let our thoughts simmer down. We use those moments to let what is happening around us, sink in.
After those three minutes are up, that seething anger runs out of steam and simmers down to a slower pace.
Crisis staved off, I smile and in turn… she smiles!!
We truly take it in with all our senses. After all a joyful life is the best existence we can hope to achieve. To have someone to love and to be able to accept that love in return feels wonderful!
So, hiccups and hookups aside, who would want to ride to the moon to be happy?
Itโs epic anyways!!
Image credit: ‘9 Cute and Crazy Promposal Stories that Will Make You Miss Your High School Prom’ by Kiana Palacios in wheninmanila.com on Feb. 20, 2019.
Next time, if you plan to take your partner for a ride to moon and back fearing that you might just fall shy of the trust and promises you have made and the whole episode will get trumped, if you didnโt…
Think twice about what it really means. You could do just about everything under the sun and be over the moon without riding up to it. You will come up with a brilliant win…always, all the times!!
So, stay stoked and be a gift to your partner and yourself !
Just like wine and whisky the world of coffee is intense and complex. With endless versions and infinite ways, learning every trick, every brew method and every mix sounds like a serious clicheโ but you’re never late to stoke your passion for those easy peasy beans.
Tune in to coffee making -the complex Indian way for a start. A stellar coffee experience, it will turn you a connoisseur โ in less time than you may think.
Image source: ‘How to tap into the health benefits of coffee’ by Amanda Loudin in nbcnews.com on Dec. 05, 2019.
If you’re creative, shy and introvert kinda morning person, then odds are you prefer coffee over tea.Rather I would say, you are a typical coffee loving person who looks for itโs zing first thing in the morning!
And, what if it gets you to make more money and more pay raises? People in Britain and elsewhere now rally behind the notion that your fondness and choice for morning cup could actually uptick your personality. It pushes you more as a productive, significant and an affordable hand at work!
…in turn your pockets get deeper alright!
More than the โtea peopleโ who are usually pensive and look for teaโs relaxing qualities…. coffee fans are easily likely to say they’re โalwaysโ on time.
Latte, Mocha, Italian or AmericanโฆLike most โCoffee personsโ do you also fancy morning cuppa to be black, plain and simple?
Myself a coffee aficionado? No!
I am not a coffee buff nor I eagerly look forward to it. I would rather have tea over coffee. No particular reasonโฆ donโt get me wrong! I do like coffee and espresso, including lattes and cappuccinos, but my morning go-to favorite is a steamy cup of sweet fragrant tea.
I have been a caffeine skeptic for quite some time but it doesnโt mean that I have no nose for it. Itโs just that becoming a coffee weirdo takes time. Itโs equal to becoming a wine or a whiskey sommelier. I think that it takes passion, love for the beverage and the desire to know everything there is to know about it.
And with so much happening in the atlas of coffee making, itโs no easy feat!
I know I have the rush to appreciate the magic of beans and might some day start working my way forward. Still, I respect those who take me for a โcoffee snobโ. And… I understandthat there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a coffee geek at heart!
The point as I see it, is that till you get to explore the world of coffee making and learn the ways to brew it the correct way, people will frown and the cup you think you love might not be even cutting it close.
Image source: ‘Natural Mountains Coffee Archives’ in iddukivalley.com.
Hand beaten or frothy- I wasn’t too fond of it until…!
Like everybody else you know much about coffee. You are aware of the different roasts. You know of the different types of beans, where they come from. You know various flavor profiles and you know of all the fรชted โdecoctionsโ. In fact you are on top of every new coffee trend that comes your way!
But if you know the beans, flavors, and brew styles so well, are you aware that there are more than one ways to beef up your brewโs flavors and aroma?
No!.. I am not talking about some plain simple morning pick-me-up kinda drink any more, but a hand crafted brew of tropical roasted grounded beans that has enough richness, flavor and complexity to shame even the Starbucksโ favorite.
An overall caffeine sceptic, for long, I was confident of my health when the people talked about anti oxidants and balanced diets. No.. I am no health quirk but it never occurred to me that I was missing anything nutrition wise. Good healthy food, stimulating beverages…just about everything! Tea was also doing fine, till I fell seriously ill in the fall of 2017.
I was diagnosed with acute pancreatitis!
And nobody could actually determine the cause for this mortal condition! Everything changed thereafter. The recovery was slow and painstaking. The attending surgeon was fussy and stern…and warned me to go easy with tea.
So I started looking around for shortcuts to improve my gut health. Like many things that I loved to eat and drink but had to let go, I decided to go blind with tea as well. I had realized that it was merely worsening my infirmity.
To cut it short, eventually it all ended up with me becoming a black coffee drinker! Of course I get to add a teaspoon of sweetener (usually white sugar) to my coffee.
It was while I was convalescing and looking ways to less complicate my caffeine intake, that the story that went into coffee making caught my attention.
Search meโฆ itโs interesting!
Legend has it that the 9th-century Ethiopian goatherd Kaldi was the first to discover the stimulating effect of coffee when he noticed how excited his goats became after eating the beans from a certain bush. Curious, he too chewed on the bright red berries himself. Roused and exhilarated, he brought the berries to a nearby monastery. But the monk disapproved of their use and threw them into the fire. A seductive enticing aroma billowed out that drew others to come and investigate. The roasted beans were quickly raked out from the embers, grounded and dissolved in hot water thus yielding what was World’s first cup of coffee!!
The story is largely believed to be apocryphal; probably because it surfaced some 800 years from the time when it supposedly took place.
Whatever…
Okay, so maybe you already prefer a dark roast brew…
Thatโs good, but if you were to ask me, you ought to experience every type of blend that exist before you get to decide which one you love most..and which ones a tad less! Once you learn to savor your drink, youโll have a newfound respect for your local java shop.
Spoon into your perfect coffee bliss: Itโs not blah anymore!
While the beans you grind are essential for the flavor profile of your cup, how you brew it is just as important. To call yourself a coffee barista, you need to know all that there is to different brewing methods from different parts of the World and how they affect the taste.
So, hereโs to some lip smacking ways to whip yourself a cuppa good coffee.
Pour-over, hand made and without machines, try it the way they do in India! Smooth frothy and beaten up, the Indian cappucino is a powerful espresso that comes topped with a sweet foam laced with some fresh cream and a sprinkle of bitter cocoa.
My pick however is a more trendy go-to-spice one. I tried the spice-laced one once and got hooked up instantly; flavors aside I thought-the benefits are worth it. Now I almost always add cinnamon to my coffee. The zing of this piquant candidate perks up my mood in no time, whenever I donโt feel like using cocoa powder straight.
High on antioxidants and anti-fungal properties, even cayenne pepper, ginger, cardamom, nutmeg, lavender, star anise, clove, pumpkin spice and gingerbread spice mix-all in small quantities- are inching out that square of dark chocolate from coffee these days!
Am I asking you to take a blind shot at this unusual blend? Is this an easy way to stomach those beneficial spices and fiber right through your coffee cup without having to open multiple containers?
Probably ‘ Yes’.
Spices work just great when added to grounded coffee or to dark beans and have significant health benefits.
And it doesn’t taste gross either!
The ways of Beaten coffee
I think this whole coffee craze is a bettered version of a new beverage trend that has coffee recipes popping all over social media.
The Indian filter coffee-southern style is one bodacious rage that is getting heads turned and attentions arrested!. Simply put, it is an easy and absolute fad among the coffee lovers who have chanced upon it.
This decadent Indian style coffee is somewhat similar to cappuccino in that it uses both espresso and steamed milk. The name โbeatenโ comes from the process of whipping up the silky smooth and thick mixture that sits atop the brew. By hand beating instant coffee, sugar and water you always end up with the delicious brief.
Making it is simple and takes little to prepare. Brewed coffee using standard drip maker or French press is topped off with the mix of steamed milk (no scorching hot one please!), instant coffee, sugar and warm water, all beaten earlier till the mix turns golden brown and thickens into a smooth frothy mixture.
The aroma and flavors are simply a coffee connoisseursโ delight and absolutely irresistible!!
Image source: ‘Coffee That Smells Like Freshly Ground Heaven’ in paramparai.store.
South Indian filter Kappi: What an utter delight!
Filter kappi, filter coffee, South Indian filter coffee; call it by whatever name, it is easily every coffee loverโs sigh of contentment.
Do you know why?…
It has one single characteristic that caffeine fanatics love to lust over; the unmatched blend of taste, flavor and the aroma. Even if you are not a coffee addict, nothing would better your mood than to wake up to a cup of freaking good, steamy, aromatic coffee- filtered and made traditionally the South Indian way!
Am I getting ahead of myself?
Noโฆ you wouldnโt dare rip through me, once you get to taste a pour of freshly roasted, grinded and filtered punch. Every cupโs a delight and the proper way to awaken your senses first thing in the morning! Youโll love the aroma as you sip away the traditional Madras belter.
For not long ago, I wouldnโt know anything of how to brew a good cuppa! I wasn’t eager enough to rush for it either. Not until I figured out how to make a humble brew into something so atrociously good and overbearing.
I got to travel down South last year on vacation. And there the curiosity trumped me.
I somehow got hooked to filter coffee!
Till then whenever I had attempted to do something with those dark beans, the brew would always end up being too watery. Every time I attempted, it turned out dreary; so much so that I could easily pour half a cup of brewed coffee into half cup of milk and still wouldnโt get it to be as โstrongโ as Iโd like it to be.
Itโs only from the by lanes and streets of Chennai (erstwhile Madras) that I learned the trick to make some really good stuff. It was some serious technique that led to some seriously good coffee in the end!
South Indian coffee requires only an indigenous coffee filter to make it right. You might think that plenty of them are lying around or one could be fashioned out; but this one is different; nothing like the regular ones! To taste authentic South Indian coffee it needs to be brewed through this unique stainless steel contraption; believe me; filtering effects are nearly impossible to replicate.
Consisting of two nested cups sitting atop each other; the one at the top holds the grounded coffee and has pores to allow the coffee to pass through while the other one is meant to store it.
Filter kaapi when served in a traditional tumbler-davaraa, all swished a couple of times between the two to produce delicious foam on the top, smells and tastes heavenly. A davaraa is a small cup shaped like a jug with a curved lip. (In some Udupi joints it is fondly called Meter-Kappi and is poured into the glass from a meterโs height to perk up maximum foam).
But you really donโt need one for a genuine Indian filter coffee. Any pair of mugs or cups would do. I wouldnโt approve of swishing though, for those who love it steaming hot. The disadvantage of swishing is that your coffee gets cold easily.
Feature credits: ‘Top Coffee Countries | The Best Coffee in the World 2021โ by Revel in You tube .com on Jul.09, 2020.
Heads-up! A storm of #coffee stories might be coming your way.
If you are with me just for the coffee and earnestly care about how your cuppa coffee should taste, then jump for a traditional Indian percolator with a clean filter, put 2 heaped tbsp of coffee powder and press it down with a spoon. Gently pour fresh water brought to a rolling boil and get an even concentration of decoction in the end. Mix a little bit of chicory and fill milk to 3/4th of the glass. Stir constantly and you have just made yourself a unique filter style complex and aromatic smooth cup of coffee.
Mild or strong- you get to enjoy the aroma and flavors with every sip. Add sugar if you wish and enjoy!
If I were you I would figure out ways to hold back things for tomorrow and start fishing around for a percolator ASAP -just the right one and get my coffee fix each morning-the Indian way!! Believe me, every cup is a delightful and legit way to awaken your senses first thing in the morning with an intense sensual kick.
Still unsure if that would be anything close to a third wave coffee shop?
Make no mistake- you are no pinhead; youโre right there. Just remember, ‘You can never bea wine connoisseur without ever being to a vineyard.
So, reach out, grab a perfect cup of that bold Indian filter coffee and feel a huge uptick happening right away!
Time is embedded in everything we do. It towers large over how we perceive the Universe. Traveling through it and zipping-off into the sci-fi future is usually considered the stuff of science fiction. But walking through twists and turns of time travel or meeting your digital clone is no longer a tricky or impossible fantasy. Only that we are still messing with it and searching for a workaround.
Itโs then no surprise that the freedom to move through time just as we move through space, drags on as a stupendous barrier and overrides everything else.
Would something close to time-travelling DeLorean or a custom-built wormhole allow us to travel from one event in present to another in future any time soon? Would Universe care if we moved an atom from position A to position B? Are there impossible answers or is it simply impossible to happen?
Letโs figure out how much more is to be done before we get to get a glimpse of future!!
Imagine you have hopped onto a time machine, pressed a button, and have journeyed back to 2019, before the corona-virus jumped the species -from animals to humans and you have found and isolated patient zero!
Well…theoretically, the pandemic wouldn’t have happened, right? Not quite, because then future-you wouldn’t have decided to time travel in the first place.
Things rather donโt not work the way we want them to. Events readjust around anything that might cause an inconsistency and donโt let it happen.
Simply said, you could travel back into the time but couldnโt change anything.
This sounds tragic for those who wish they could rewind the clock. And thatโs not without a reason. Who wouldnโt want to blitz through time and space at the speed of light to reach out into the past and undo those bad decisions and vile events that are a torment today and might hurt someone?
Letโs assume for a moment that it could actually be done and you get to travel back into time of your liking; butโฆ
What if you canโt fix the past? Wouldnโt it be rather you looked forward into the future than backwards. Besides regretting or trying to fix things done absolute in the past wonโt help nobody! Maybe you could salvage some of your broken present in future!
And you donโt need a wormhole or a decked up DeLorean to do it!!
Try this…
Not many of us may know but time is not a constant and tends to slow down as you move faster through space. If theory of relativity is any good then real-life time travel to the future is possible through time dilation.
Feature credits: ‘โThe Time Machine(2002)โ by Sebastian Jarus in You tube. com on Dec.15, 2013.
Do you know what this unheard of time dilation really about? Simply put, it is the difference in elapsed time as measured by two clocks. This could happen either due to difference in gravitational pull at their locations or relative velocity between them. If dilation happens not because of either of these events, then it is the โVelocityโ that runs the show!
You think itโs all screwed up? May be โyesโ and โnoโ; Yes because the dynamics on which our Universe works are baffling; No because the euphoria of time travel is formidable yet stirring.
So, letโs dig a little deeper into the โspace-timeโ theory that fuses the three dimensions of space and one dimension of time into one.
If you think that the space is something flat and rigid that holds the entire Universe, then itโs time you corrected yourself. Re-imagine it as a curved and maleable trampoline-a piece of taut, strong fabric stretched between a steel frame using many coiled springs, the one used in trapeze, gymnastics and acrobatic exercises. Place a bowling ball in the center and it would cause smaller objects placed on it to slide towards the center.
The gravitational dips around masses in a curved space work the same way! pulling other objects in; and the closer they gets to the center, the faster they accelerate. For us, the center of this gravitational dip is centered right in the Earthโs core and it is here the acceleration is the highest. The stronger the gravity, the more space time curves, and the slower time itself proceeds.
In other words, time moves more slowly as you go faster through space, the closer you are to a center of gravity-pulled up by a black hole, warm hole or even a star on the verge of collapse, the slower the time would move for the object.
Image source: ‘Are Wormholes Real?’ by By Sabrina Stierwalt in scientificamerican.com on May29, 2019.
Letโs put it this way!
Look above to heavens. Some hundreds of GPS satellites are stationed about 20200 kms above us. This effect is most visible there. The highly precise onboard clocks gain an average of 38 microseconds per day and adjusts for time dilation. Run them 38 microseconds faster and positioning error of some 10 kms happens every 24 hours!! This would increase exponentially if the time lag goes uncorrected.
Still couldnโt get hold of what this time dilation is all about!? Try and get a feel of it in a more electrifying manner on Netflix. Watch Interstellar that critically acclaimed flick from 2014. Matthew McConaughey as ex-NASA pilot Joseph Cooper, is tasked to pilot a spacecraft along with a team of researchers to discover a new planet for humans as the Earth is slowly dying. The crew travel to outer space and land on a planet with extreme gravitational forces due to a nearby black hole. The intense gravitational pull slows down the time for those on the planet measuring one hour on itโs surface equal to seven years of Earth.
The revelation of time travel is massive and dumbfounding! Itโs devastating for Cooper as he returns to a space habitat orbiting Saturn after traveling through a black hole (inside the boundaries of the Event Horizon). The 5d beings had safely transported Cooper to the edge of the wormhole near Saturn where he gets picked up and finds way home, only to discover that his daughter has turned an old woman while he had aged almost none and appeared the same as when he had left.
Check this out; Murph, Cooperโs daughter was 10 years old when he had left. Cooper traveled for 2 years to the wormhole and subsequently lost 23 years in gravitational time dilation on Miller’s planet.
So if we are so good at finding answers to โwhysโ, why couldnโt we just leap forward into future!
Dear me!! this is mind-bending. Itโs the Velocity that holds the key to trans-temporal travel!
For us to travel into the future, only two things could make that happen; either we take advantage of the gravitational acceleration caused by black holes or we jump into the space at the speed of light (1 billion kms/hr). Today, we could manage only a few microseconds into the future, given the current technology at hand.
But like everything else, technology too is ever evolving!
Image source: ‘What Is the Grandfather Paradox?’ by Greg Uyeno in space.com on Jun.6, 2019.
Should this happen sometime soon, would it be possible for us to get back to reality from future using time dilation and share findings with everybody?
The answer is a big โYesโ; only if we could manage interstellar travels at the speed of light!
There is a catch here though!
The voyage will be one way ticket- into the future and not back to the past because we canโt use time dilation for passage back and forth.
Does this mean that past is forever inaccessible?
Perhaps no. only if we could put to use a wormhole–the areas of space time that is warped and connects two distant points in space. This bridge in space, if it stays stable, happily consummates other physical laws and lives long enough for us to make a dash; may be we could catch sight of our past lives.
Few though dismiss โwormholesโ as science fiction and argue that both particles and states of matter have โexoticโ physical stuff that would violate all known laws of physics. For them a trek back to the past is more inviting than a peek into the future.
And why shouldnโt it be? Who wouldnโt want to see the Dinosaurs or meet Albert Einstein?
But if I were you, Iโll be wary of this hustle! While itโs fascinating enough to brave a travel into the past, it might tempt you to attempt a change that could destroy future for so many.
Remember that blockbuster movie ‘ Back to the Future’ that had smashed all box office collections for a sci-fi hit! Marty McFly traveled back into the time and prevented his parents from seeing each other, nearly cheating his own existence!
It sucks! If he had undone his own existence, how could he have doubled back in time in the first place?
Martyโs escapade if nothing else, is close to a variation of ‘grandfatherparadox’that none of us would wish to ever happen. What if you were to go back into the time and kill your grandfather for him being a monster or something before your father is conceived? If you were to succeed, how could it be possible that you are alive to kill your grandpa in the first place?
Creepy? Well…you ought to be amped up by now!
When we say that the Universe has the ability to self-correct to avoid inconsistencies, does this makes an anomaly-free time travel easy to happen?
Hypothetically yes, theoretically no!
So whatโs the upshot?
Although time dilation could allow us to get a glimpse of the future, we will never be able to visit the past let alone alter events to create a different future. If Stephen Hawkins in his book Black Holes and Baby Universes could weigh the future of time travel into the past as mysterious and as abysmal as black hole, then itโs cooler if we rather skip it altogether and went forward in time.
Itโs completely different mathematics that sits behind the โstring theoryโ. In fact, all the dimensions of time and space work uniquely for all possible future and all possible pasts including realities with a physics totally different from what we know of today.
I looked around but couldnโt find a McDee!
Like everybody else. I too got stuck at home in pandemic. Everything stayed shut and I just rared to jet off to some fun-filled destination. Of course, this was not gonna happen any time sooner.
But I did manage to get my hands full! I deep dived and looked for answersโฆ
What of traveling through time into the future, if the planetary science and intergalactic travel limitations deny us a glimpse of the past? And not just in a boring way; like the one where we wait for it to arrive one sec at a time. What if I could zip through time to future back and forth as easily as pushing buttons and actually live a fantasy thatโs been on the cards for at least 125 years!
No way! H.G. Wells wouldnโt have imagined that his 1895 epic โThe Time Machineโ would kick start some serious investigations into my mind.
Am I only a curious creep or seeing ghosts!# If we can move freely through space why not time?
I wish somebody from ##SpaceX is listening!!
Sometimes curiosity overwhelmsโฆ well almost everybody. At least I get bowled over more often than once. When this happens. I look around for cues that might have some answers to this intriguing unexplored journey.
If general relativity refers to gravity as bending or warping of space-time, maybe everything that we do with space, we can do with time also. It is this warp that paves us the way to go forward but unfortunately not backwards and that too at a rate that we can control!
Well.. thatโs almost everything but not exactly everything!
Excited to know more…scroll google for famousโ twin paradoxโ and you will get to know why if you travel at the speed of light and your twin remains at Earth, you will uncover something insane. A bizarre windfall has happened while you were away. Youโll find yourself much younger than your twin! If the voyage draws out a bit longer, you might look just a few years older than when you left, while your twin is probably a grandpa now.
Time appears to have passed just as it always does for both of you twins; itโs only when you two reunite that the enormity of madness reveals itself.
It is a bit disappointing for Star trek enthusiasts too; for all I know, you have to get very close to the velocity of light to be any close to warp speed. No!…I donโt think we have even cracked a tenth of a percent of the speed of light as yet; max.
But there is one true revelation that saves the day for me; We know for sure that…
If we could somehow spend a good deal of time hugging close to that ultimate speed in the Universe, our clocks will run slower. We will get to travel through time into the future. Nothing will change except that for a couple of years in voyage, time on Earth must have advanced by centuries even ten of thousands of years.
Feature credits: ‘ โStephen Hawking- What It Takes to Time Travelโ by AtheismLogicReason in Youtube .com on April.14, 2013.
Rest is just surreal!!
Maybe someday I get to crack this pesky paradox and get to visit a McDee take-awayon some distant planet millions of light years away, one like scores of itโs franchises spread across galaxies and time zones, all warmly swarmed and inundated with hungry time travelers!! The standard menu has changed faces but no faking…the unmistakable flavors of โMcNasty’ stays tantalizing and lip smacking as ever.
Maybe you could buy for a cup of coffee if the rush is crushingโฆ after all itโs 2150! and people have turned fond of intergalactic sojourns. No worries…we will pick up the grub in some other galaxy some other time or on way back to reality! Whoโs gonna wait when stars zip by?
Today, my take remains unshaken though. Till such day I get to wade through time, my experience of itโs passage is absolutely normal. My clock doesnโt race or behaves dopey. It ticks normal as ever. I age normally andโฆ
I am no further into my future than normal. But I waitโฆ
Maybe someday I get to travel into my twinโs future!
Maybe someday I get to choose how quickly I reach it!!
โI choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.โFrank B. Gilbreth Sr.
When getting out of bed feels awful, when going to the gym seems utterly disgusting and when you just canโt face the idea of siting down at the Office desk, I could figure out what has happened to you. You have crossed into the dangerous territory of laziness! The thief of happiness and poacher of ambition, it will end you up doing nothing with your days, if you let it get hold of you. Quite simply you are โdumped but not downโ for you have missed seeing the error of your ways.
Want some help to get out of the funk? Check-out on me on how to trump the struggle and fight blues the lazy way. Sometimes the best way to make stuff happen and relive happiness is by doing nothing at all!
Image source: ‘Dangers- Sleeping with a blanket over the head’ by Richard Adjei in news.payperlez.com on May 25, 2021.
I live in a messy chaotic world. Yet I am perfectly content doing nothing at all. I no longer punish myself and do not let reluctant party animals, chronic slow pokers and clutter of messy desk wizards to hurt me for being a slow pusher any more. Not that I have been like this always. Itโs just that one fine morning I discovered that it was not the laziness but my giant intellect thatโs to blame for my misadventures. So, I reworked myself out. I lied to my enormous brain down to a nap with pride. And look!! The hard work of being lazy has paid off.
I have finally found happiness!
Funny; I wonder why it feels so good to be lazy in the first place. Why things do not turn turtle for work-shy people; rather everything would start falling into place more intensely? Why all this shade against doing nothing? Why an unenterprising soul is underrated when being lazy might turn him aโKingโ someday. Whatโs more shocking is that whenever I reached out to romanticize laziness, I ended up get around ways to overcome it.
Feature credits: ‘Study Finds Lazy People Are Smarter’ by Jacqueline Sarkissian in You tube.com on Aug.18, 2016.
So, I decided not to waste time on unnecessary motions; instead I looked around for clues to trick it into my fold and #find the balance between work and weariness.
And see, this is what I learned;
The Hard Work of Being โLazyโ
Laziness is something we all experience from time to time, but some people simply love to stay in that refuge forever, once out of that everyday slavery. And thereโs a pretty good reason why they adore it so much! They allow their minds to wander into creative territory for free…by being lazy!!
I guess we all are hardwired to fill time. We easily get overwhelmed by things that are on our to-do list and plunge headlong each day, trying as hard as possible to burn ourselves out.
I find this distracting. Do overs or not; for me unrewarded geniuses are not geniuses but clichรฉs.
Interestingly, one study claims that the more the intelligent among us socialize or work heads-down the less happy and sullen they become. The more you mingle, the more intent you get on spilling your guts around telling everybody how happy you are, without being so; the more half-witted jerk you turn yourself into. This sniffs less savory to the more intelligent ones. And the nerd in you stays outclassed as ever.
Itโs not so difficult to figure it all out yourselves! Besides who says the world needs Type A personalities only? The โLโ types are not like some failed menu item and will eventually land in some rut. Amid misplaced sense of FOMO, a โknightlyโ life beckons them.
If you are anything close to me, take a sec off and stop being busy. Check yourself out.; what tempts you more, an hour-long walk with your dog, or a snug spell with your pet cat on your favorite couch; all lazed-up?
Well, this might surprise you. If you think that being snug and comfortable in your space and doing nothing, slurs you as a remiss; you are mistaken! This could actually be a sign of intelligence, and not an inclination to remain sedentary or desk bound.
If we are to trust the ethereal revelations of a wispy study made some eight years ago; then cat lovers score higher on intelligence than dog lovers. And why not? It makes some good sense too. A dog person is livelier because he goes out there walking and talking even to strangers with a tethered canine in tow. Contrary to this, if you are more introverted and sensitive, you would probably prefer to stay back at home, read a book, sip a cuppa tea…and your cat doesnโt need to go outside for a walk.
You may not believe this but your pet type influences your choice between different environments. Dog- you take a walk, Cat- you covet the cozy comfort of a couch with your cheesy Ginger snuggled in your lap.
Get the hang of it! Even a brief interruption derails our train of thoughts. Walk your dog and you are distracted by sight of every passerby. Itโs like you went too close to another browser tab and got distracted by a cat video. Hang around your home with your cat and you do not let yourself be beaten by those fast-track requests that your quick witted brain lines up fast for you!
At some time or the other all of us get miffed in this mad mad world for one reason or the other. At times bitterness and despair is overwhelming. We are put off partly because we are worried that we have not done enough and largely because we believe that allowing ourselves to be lazy might not be the perfect antidote for that garden variety stress.
Uh oh! Search your soul…No do overs but I guess you know there are ways to be a heartthrob to yourself. Perhaps you’re not lazy after all, or maybe itโs just that your good old brain is playing tricks!
My idea of a perfect laziness however means snacking on a couch, watching telly or solving cross puzzles. This might shock you but I discovered that laziness is what got me interested in being productive at the end; getting more done in less time and getting more time to relax.
Today taking a break feels rewarding to me. I find it ok to allow myself to be lazy occasionally; not because I am a big fan of being lazy, but because I want to be happy. Take a break and be a little lazy yourself if you cherish the same. Next time if someone accuses you of being a sloth, just tell yourself, โI believe he meant to say highly efficientโ.
Image source: ‘3 Ways Having a Lazy Weekend Can Be Good for Your Health’ by Lexi Petronis in glamour.com on Ap. 26, 2013.
Shortcuts will cut you short
Most of us are usually bad at being โlazyโ. And by that I mean not only the mindless distractions that occupies our space and attention; Iโm talking about choosing to do nothing; rather prefer being idle. Much of the day we spend checking things off from our to-do list believing it to be of little consequence.
Hell no; this does help!
Our brains are hard wired to focus on things that we find both novel and threatening. Why else would you check news or social media every 10 minutes or worry over some stupid prickly e-mail that you received a week ago? If you are the one who would skip after-work drinks for some other night on the settee and stretch your evenings for a zero-guilt day, you probably are n every hawkโs live checklist every time you enter your Office.
But there is a downside to laziness too!
Getting stuck indoors could make things uncanny; even worse. You tend to get slave to running checklists, always worried about being productive, cramming more things-to-do in a dayโs time and in bargain give up things that make you happy. Taking a walk or reading a book or hanging around with friends- you miss all. Unable to perk up your surroundings, no sweet talks with your flame! The squeeze is too hard to stay pumped up all day long. Sure, you are neck deep in weeds and all set to get a miserable heartache and a grumpy evening!
So, if a lazing mindset isnโt always the right choice why Danes and Finns are the happiest persons in the World? Why the chase of getting things done the right way, is no longer an infernal experience for them? Dare find them work shy! No…rather itโs the brilliance of a drifting mindset that makes you more creative and better at problem solving. This is when your focus rests and your brain puts pedal to the metal.
Itโs massive! But your brain worries about the future 14 times more during spells of idleness or laziness, compared to being attentive to just one thing when you are kicking around. It literally occupies 48 percent of your bootless time mostly weighing your long term goals and intentions! Try remembering the last time you cooked up some creative idea or worthy solution! Chances are that it didnโt happen when you were hell-bent to finish things before upheaval happened. Instead genius in you may have touched the nerve softly when you have been taking a long shower or sitting on a park enjoying the surroundings.
When you laze and allow your brain to rest, you actually save on your mental pluck and get to expend it on more and more of right things. Hardly anything runs dry your mental strength than an anxious mind and the fear of missing out.
Best way to waylay it?
Just stop running wild, catch your breath, close doors to your mind and let it do nothing; no logic, no reasoning, no judgment- just plain Zero. Cool your heels till it tells you what it needs rather than what it cries for.
To begin with you could stop being obsessing over news; Go take a walk; watch some Netflix, listen Mozart or just soak yourself in a nice leisurely warm bath. It might just be the right thing for you to do. Be crazy to be lazy for once and you get to turn into more productive person than you would ever imagine.
Not long ago, like everybody else I too believed that success stems from hard work alone; but today I find myself rescued. I have reclaimed myself. It didnโt come to me from hard work. Itโs rather the lazy way of doing things that have done sheer good to me.
The only difficult part is to see myself a sloth bear. From a rewarding guy to a disinclined and forgettable creep! To work with it instead of against it; sounds weird doesnโt it?
Yet I have triumphed! I have taken to the lazy way of doing things and I have prevailed!
How good will it work for you? Maybe a little; maybe not at all. May be you will get success working long hours and pummeling your nose in the grindstone. But would you prefer not to take the bite if you havenโt tried being lazy? How would you know that it doesnโt work even better? Take a shot, you might like it; even hit the bullsโ eye.
I get plenty of โmeโ time outside sleeping and dreaming
For the last few days, I kinda feel strange; weird perhaps. I donโt feel like doing anything;
Leave aside work and laze-off? Yes; Screw-around? Maybe.
It is the guilt of doing nothing that has set me up. I get mad at myself and mess with happiness. Easily it is the end of creativity after a day of laziness.
But not all is at it seems! Laziness tend to lie to us and if you think that thatโs a problem, then you are bending it and being untruthful to yourself.
Laziness is irksome only because it slows down the time for us. Itโs upsetting but it leads to a new insight. For me it works like an early warning system. Itโs a sign that I am about to burn out for being overly worked.
The thought itself is horrific and isnโt really an accident!
Feature credits: ‘If you are a lazy person then Watch this’ by daily Motivation in You tube.com on Oct. 14, 2019.
This is when the need to endure kicks in. It tells me that I am a jerk if I donโt get my lazy bum into action, I might be destroying myself for good. Do I need to be on my knees any longer?
The other day I sat quietly and mused. I found myself comparing my present workdays to the ones at my last job. At first, it seemed like I was working a lot less with no 9-5 job.
I deep dived and realized that I had panicked for no reason. I had posted twice as many weblog stories, picked up couple of on-line courses, read three times as many books, network with 5x more people and presently writing a new story. Am I suffering from self-doubt! Am I scattered and seeing Ghosts! Bumbled or fumbled but in the end…I felt relieved.
Itโs so weird how we suddenly dig up the advice we need at the exact moment we need it.! Interestingly, my brainโs anatomical connectivity no longer sympathizes with anything that leads to the idea of –โIโm lazyโ! It is riveted to the belief that‘I am working when I am not working‘!
If I were you, I would rather fancy these vibes not as something cold and crippling but a queer sign of revolt from a worn-out body crying for a break.
When you notice the truth behind your laziness, itโs possible to take a lesson or two to your advantage. It took me years altogether to learn that we are at work when we are doing the dishes, having a shower or tidying up the garden. These idle chores help to connect our hardwired brain to rewarding tasks that are on our to-do list. In fact, when we laze, our body betters all inputs while everything else is on hold.
Laziness is perhaps one sin you need most to make a better sense of the world. Trust me, if your lack of laziness causes your impending meltdown, Gods are not coming to save you.
At first sight it may seem to banish us from living successfully or from thinking in any way well of ourselves. But at close quarters things look brighter and shining. If the point of โdoing nothingโ is to clean up our heart of hearts wouldnโt it be right to get down to the business of lolling?
After all, the threat to our happiness lies not in our failure to be busy, but in our inabilityto be โlazyโ enough. A heroically hardworking person isnโt necessarily the one, who sits in the business lounge of an International airport; it might be the person who gazes out of the window and occasionally writes down an idea or two on a piece of paper.
Do what you have to do for laziness is not a lie
If you have a smartphone, which obviously like everybody else you do, itโs most likely that you have often struggled with the idea of โshutting downโ after work. As you sit idle or perhaps watch a movie or listen to a podcast; a voice at the back of your mind keeps telling you that instead of being lazy, you ought to be on your phone cleaning out the inbox or readying yourself for tomorrowโs meeting.
Image source: ‘Laziness leads to happiness’ in mashupcorner.com on Sep. 01, 2021.
Believe me, your inability to stop working, or even the inability to do so without guilt, harms your enterprise more than your resolve to stay upbeat. If you truly are a sworn work horse, then you need to learn how to be lazy for this is all about efficiency and none of us is inherently lazy.
In fact, the challenge to this frailty lies with the guilt that overrides it. There is so much happening around us every day, so many excitements, regrets, suggestions and emotions. Are we not letting the marrow of life escape us? Is there nothing smart enough to reign it in?
You need not dig deep to find the answer!
Whenever you get lazy and desire for an intensely-felt life clean of all ruckus, sit back and imagine that a deep part of you is hustling to cook-up a big thought. Make no haste; though you run the risk of being accused of gross laziness! Plan your laze interlude in advance. When you schedule it you would know the duration of your subconscious shame for having done nothing. Complete your errands beforehand and it will inwardly feel good.
Consider making a day of your indolence and get cracking instead of freaking out. Get lazy on a regular basis and you will find out why not falling shy of it makes a heap of difference. Your mind is all stoked and will help you get out of the weeds; fix the broken ideas and mend your missing control.
For a productivity guy, youโve become a sloth bear. But what the heckโฆ donโt fret. Simply prioritize, no overtime and you will get the most done in shortest possible time!
Laziness is your free wellness tool with zero guilt
Havenโt you heard less is more?
Image source: ‘Itโs Good to Be Lazy’ by Atulhost in atulhost.com on May 26, 2019.
There is a creative side to all of us. When we are lazy we get plenty of time to toy and tinker within us. Getting cheered for being a busy-bee is a burden now. People do not want to hear about how busy your life is. Besides, you miss out on your friends. You are never in a mood to head out on a Saturday night or burn yourself a little on a weekend run.
Not that you are not left with enough time to rouse the clever and gifted person that you always were.
Simply side step for a moment and choose to be different for a while. You have just aced the art of living life the right way! And remember, if you howl and cry for long, are unable to keep the desk tidy, fail the assignments any other time than the night before the deadline or lament for having ruined so much time doing nothing; you could be the one with a giant IQ!
In fact being lazy is another way of being efficient.
I think lazy persons are onto something all the time! Go ahead, take that nap and shake off all the fears of going overboard. Itโs better rather you chill with a cat than walk a dog.
You will always end up beaming!
And someday, your mind and body will thank you for it!!
If you think that you are done with friends in life, itโs time you tell yourself a different story.
Like love, friendship is a thick soupy word and a messy business. Itโs hard to be friends with someone who couldnโt hold your hands, or cut loose your heart strings. Itโs harder to look for companionship if it comes with the shroud of secrecy surrounding it. Friendship is rather a stretchy word. Itโs more of a life choice that you hesitate to fully buy into, fearing darker truth may come out later.
Friendship means something different every time we say it. Itโs what a relationship isnโt. You may find good mature acquaintances but they donโt really get you good lasting friendship. At times hopelessly vague; โcalling them a friendโ doesnโt help.โLetโs just be friendsโ is a no less confusing either because it could mean anything. From bosom friend to pink of a crush, all it does is communicate what you never meant in the first place.
In fact, there is not one single great word for the kind of relationship that you have with the ones you love or loved. Give the requited attention a miss and the other person wonโt find you awesome enough to hit it off.
Yet you shrug and say, โSure.โ And try again. But itโs weird and gets murkier.
When you think about it, you have no idea what it means to be with real friends.
Think about them and you will still touch yourself.
Perhaps โfriendโ is a catch-all high sign that helps in ignoring bittersweet emotions.
Get into the Act
I grew up a shy introvert with terrible socializing barriers and was often shelled with embarrassing suggestions by those around me. Honestly, I did muster enough courage to try them all and overcome my fears. But soon I realized that itโs lot easier and more effective to be kind than to try to act confident.
I never tried to compete with the extroverts. I let them win at their game. Instead, I decided to invent my own circleโwent all-in on being as thoughtful as possible and this is what I found out.
Everyone loves to hang out one time or the other, with the person who wonโt say or do anything to hurt your feelings. But not wanting to hurt someoneโs beliefs and opinions isnโt friendship. Real friends never coddle egos. They always tell the truth, love spending time together and never get awkward in each otherโs company. Good news, bad news and secrets, they share everything. Gossip and late night wakes; itโs all part of lives in bonhomie.
Like everybody else, I too wanted to be friends with every single person on this planet. Probably more so, but not with someone who wants kinda attention that Iโd prefer not to give. I had learned that coming out with the truth was way better off than using words that are so vulnerable to misinterpretation. When you tell somebody you want to be friends, but you really donโt, you are not letting them down gently. Mocking hits like a harsh acquittal. It hurts no matter how gently you have hurled the bomb.
Perhaps sometimes we get to learn about friends the hard way.
Are true friends hard to get by!
In university one of my buddies fell hard for a gal who wasnโt into him. She had a crush for a guy Robin who looked smarter and was perhaps wealthier. Of course, Robin wasnโt into her.
It confused and hurt everybody, especially my mate.
But it was kinda different too. Both heand the girl were doing fine and everything a couple would, except touch. Dates, long walks, deep conversations, partying ; it seemed fascination was blossoming. One day he asked her if she thought friendship could turn into romance. He would muse how his mom couldnโt stand his dad before they got married. A day later she uninvited him to a party.(Robin was going to be there.). What followed was enough to shake up things badly. Sullen moods and peppery behaviour crept in slowly. Finally he couldnโt take it anymore, and stopped returning her calls.
A year went by, and then one day both ran into each other. She came up and regretted. โCan we be friends?โ
โWhat do you meanโฆ?โ he asked.
โIf I see you, Iโd like to come up and say hi.โ It sounded more like she wanted him to acquit her of all guilt. Both agreed to smile and wave if their paths ever crossed. Fears of misplaced trust, broken promises and brazen lies, all fell apart in that one moment of regret.
Fortunately, he never saw her again.
That story tells what lot many people mean when they say they want to be friends, yet prefer kind of stealth friendship where deeper feelings never grow. If you are honest you usually wouldnโt want to be โjust friendsโ. Itโs hard but being โreal friendsโ means you donโt hold onto your emotions and actually make yourself available to someone who might requite your feelings.
Real life stories like this one grow on trees but payoffs are important!
Contemplating a relationship as a sack of rotten tomatoes when things turn sour, is like eyeing everything with serious skepticism. Crush aside, you should expect no one to be your real friend until you stop wanting romance to creep in your emotions. Before then, being around them will only rip your heart apart.
Funny! There is a simple fix for this
Nobody is hard wired to spend time crying out for someone who cheats under the cloak of stealth friendship, forever. And you need not hate somebody to realize that they are not good for you either. Itโs nobody โs fault. The chemistry simply hasnโt struck. The slyness has prevailed!
So, gift yourself the truth! Firstly to be friends you need to ease off being sheep eyed. And in the second place, if you think of someone as your friend each time you look for favors; then honestly you are not ready for friendship.
Ease off till you could show some respect to your affinity. Pull up your head, put aside your phones and the world around you will no longer be clueless. Smiling, holding doors and saying hello to strangers; those powerful gestures will make you stand out. Seeing people, acknowledging them, showing some respect might mean you are charming and perhaps charismatic too. Trust me, the frenzy of warm hands reaching out to you, in turn, would leave you overwhelmed.
But is it enough to get you good friends; the real ones?
Countless times I have met people who didnโt click right away, only to be heard of later with a friendly gesture of sorts; sometimes through a mutual friend on social networking, at others maybe for a book exchange or casual film recommendation. These interactions spoke little but emotionally measured high. I guess, itโs kinda hard for me now to dislike someone who was thoughtful enough to have gone to lengths and make an effort to reach out!
Some people couldnโt make easy initial connections. If you are one of them, give yourself some time to dazzle. Once you think you have made the right choice and want to make a connect, reach out with whatever little beans you could muster to make their lives a bit brighter, even if in a small way.
Today, I gather I was right about my insights in the first place. Aches and pains not withstanding, I had aced the key to finding a soul buddy!! You may find my suggestions a tad basic, but thatโs the point! If I have learned anything during my journey from a shy, floundering kid to a quiet thoughtful, self inventing, all smiles person who takes stock of the world in HD, I believe I did my basics well enough to have led myself so well.
If you are an introvert, donโt curse yourself for this innate skill. Hang on to it, for the one who listens, is rare and precious. Only a handful of us actually has this gift that sets us apart. Donโt chide yourself either, if you couldnโt hold onto to your lead. โYou only get one chance to make a first impressionโ; every Tom, Dick and Sally would love to tear into you. Sure! But a lot has changed and this clicheโ is your buried past now. Chance to strike a conversation is just a click away!
How would you feel if you open your phone and a message is waiting from someone you just met, wishing you well for your upcoming interview? Or how about you sending a one-of-a-kind get-well-soon message to your ailing elderly neighbor?
Uh oh! No this isnโt about copywriting beauty and the beast. Privy characteristics such as kindness turn emotions toasty, takes the chill off and outwits brains and air when it comes to accepting connections! So do a little jig, get yourself out of the weeds. You will have fun and find joy reaching out to real friends.
Feature credits: ‘A Real Friendship’ by manu7 production in youtube.com on Dec.19, 2017.
Happiness needs a warm hand
A real friendship never sucks! It stems from mutual understanding and respect. Itโs not meant to serve pleasure or purpose all the times. Rather a good friend is for friendship sake; the gold equivalent of human relationship. A lucky few of us might get a handful of real friends in our lives and it shouldnโt matter if they are relatively new. Itโs their uniqueness that makes them amazing and priceless.
I have always found the intriguing connection between friends, happiness and longevity a bit weird but promising. The cutting edge made me feel zesty. I found myself surrounded by good people- people who never failed to remind me if I needed a haircut; people who complimented me and hauled me over in crises. Life never fell short of league of gentle folks. Listen, watch, notice and praise…these were small actions, but they helped me feel good for everything about me, admire myself and have strong ties with others.
If you are anything like me, rub some dirt on your fears, sell yourself a lot of quality friendship and trust me, you will ripe through a โgolden-over-the-hillโ life. Try not to forget that real friends are meant to share concerns and confidences, build trust and not always be a sham listener or a crazy admirer.
Sometimes you cannot push a special connection between friends. It just happens. Two people come together, who find ease between them instantly and are comfortable in their skins. Laughing away at silly jokes for hours or talking the night away; a lasting relationship begins to fall into place between two people who understood each other well by simply being themselves. The spark wouldnโt douse even if the two โthieveโ enormous pint or two of bourbon and celebrate!
So! where would you find the kindred-spirit that accommodates your mood, occasionally mimics intimacy and excites you in ways different than those you would otherwise face when spending time alone; quietly. Could you think up of an egghead who has all the signs of a true friend? Where should you look for one and know if that somebody is the big Daddy you were hunting for?
Taverns, bars, coffee shops, clubs, and even rec rooms are the usual joints that foster inner circles among people. Yeah! This is the tribe of savvy thinkers who will get you to realize that all that sweating, lifting and walking is not absolutely necessary for finding happiness. It is here that sharp contrast of unselfish indulgences change hands. It is here that your voice could finally get to grow some teeth. And, it is here that a good Johnny-on-the-spot could hammer some sense out of your successes, failures, opportunities and help you choose differently.
Someday you will make the naysayers jealous
I never realized that rushing lifestyles could reduce relationships into commodities so fast. It has left every relationship hanging by thread and every affinity slain of excitement. In all our complexities, we have shrunk to titles and net worth and eye each other as a means to an end. It is difficult to know who is legit and who pretends.
It all feels so punishing and fiendishly difficult…isnโt so?
Putting on a smiley face or saying right things and turning their back when the going gets tough, makes a difficult choice between deceit and uprightness. Props in hard times alone do not matter. A friend is someone who genuinely wants to see you succeed and is happy to see things go well for you in life; each time, every time. A true mate loves the person you are, with all the flaws and quirks and imperfections.
That doesnโt mean friends agree all the times. Rattling opinions help expand horizons! If your choice has been the right one, you will find yourself surrounded with people who share your values but warn you the moment you start falling off the track.
Worse luck! if your buddy wouldnโt help you to make the right choice even if that means saying something that you never wanted to hear in the first place.
โDonโt walk behind me, I may not lead. Donโt walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.โ ~ Albert Camus.
Close affinities like good friends just donโt pop out of nowhere and mature fast. So, if you happen to have more than a handful of real good ones, you are indeed blessed. Making and keeping real friends smells of a rare experience. Each lasting friendship represents a world within us, a world that is not born until they arrive. And it is only when we bump into each other, a new world is born for us.
So, get busy being an amazing human being. Be a good one and knight hearted. If you haven’t reached out in a while to the people in your life who love and support you; learn to do so. The awe of discovering a BFF will smitten you for good. Perhaps then you could make out what Mary Tilley (94) of two children, four grandchildren and two great-grandchildren, meant of Evelyn Hodge as friend- they had lived next door to each other for over 72 years in Britainโ when she mused;“Evelyn is great companyโ.
Someday you too might as well get to get a real good friend who celebrates life with you.
Till then, keep smiling and face up…
Itโs never too late to walk off into the sunset!!
Indulging your sweet tooth with a smart choice could sometimes save you from gorging hastily onto leftover chocolate chip cookies in the rec room. Watch out for those boring low-cal foods; stick to them or you could cool off with a scoopful of delightful tuck-away choices. Munch on delicious fudgy brownies or slurp on the gooey goodness of warm chocolate lava cake, just keep an eye for the size and you will never need to miss the fun!!
From a twice cooked, crisp, light and creamypศte ร chouxfilled with vanilla ganache and grounded hazelnut paste, to a garlicky Korean Cream Cheese Bun or a chocolate chip cookie- crunchy at the edges and fudgey in the center; each has the remarkable pluck to hit the sweet spot every time and leave you surprised. Michelin perfect and raving over the spice nโ nice flavors, these good-for-youtreats can seriously partner your sweet tooth.
โIt sucksโ? Not convinced either! You wonder if there is a reason why banana bread is such a rage after all ? What so good is there that could outclass traditional recipes and bowl you over with a single bite?
At some point or the other, if you crave for something sweet and find yourself looking for flavors on your table that are right from the get-go, you are not alone. Strong cravings usually get mushy in emotionally charged moments; Or is it only a nutritionist nightmare!
There is always a good chance that dusting off your mixer to whip up something sweet or sauntering off to nearestPatisseriemight work as a good getaway for your sagging spirits. Sounds good, only if you could find a simple but delicious food with spin off flavors that could help and skyrocket your mood! If you were to ask me; for a best possible experience, try a coconut sponge cupcake with a swirl of buttercream on top and a jammy surprise of mango compote in the middle for a start. Swipe right and the exploding flavors will smitten you into love!
So, what roasts and bakes should you reach out and accept? Andโmost importantly, without compromising your nutritional needs? Should you dig into foods that are simple and satisfying but come with a blast of sugars? Choosing treats comes with its own set of problems!
Sugar isnโt something to eat freely.
Remember back when single-crusted, whipped-cream-topped, custard-based wonder -the cream pie was considered healthy? It existed simply as an unearthly way to use up surplus eggs and milk dying in the freezer, but lately thrived into ubiquity.
Speaking of cream pies, do you recall that classic French fruit tart, one that was essentially a single-crusted custard pie topped with sugar-glazed fresh fruit? Slender, colorful and mildly-flavored, this sweet was a staple of dessert carts and somehow managed to pass as a brunch selection at some of the fancy dines; no more! Heathilicious! “Uh-oh! Take cover!” Your teeth do not need to hurt or fall off just because you have decided to indulge in something sweet? For many years, I didnโt either, but now I know; you can eat sweet, keep your teeth and have a good beat!
If you have just finished a scrumptious healthy dinner and look for something sweet to quell your craving-light on calories, sugar and carbs but big on flavors– reach out to ones that are balanced and on a healthier track! Honestly who wouldnโt want to eat plenty of calories and then binge on easy treats that taste sweet and decadent but wonโt leave you with a sugar crash!
For many of us, everyday dinner is like a light-oneverything else, but joy. It feels more like a lackluster vinaigrette that would want you to skip the salad altogether. So, there is nothing wrong if you feel like you need a cleanse, as you did after all those Christmas cookies! Not like a juice cleanse butjust donโt feel like eating cookies for sweets everydaykind of cleanse. If you are like me, eating dessert isnโt optional; I simply am not satisfied till I dig into something sweet. And just because you have a knack for eating healthy; doesnโt mean you ought to let go of a decadent taste and fiery flavors.
If you are hankering for something sweet but on the opposite side of the Cheesecake Factoryhorizon, look no further beyond these 12 incredibly addictive, healthy and guilt free foods, that run high on flavors but are light on everything else.
Turmeric sourdough toast
Feature credits: ‘How To Make Turmeric Bread Recipe’ by Top Food Eli in Youtube.com on Feb. 28, 2021.
This honey glazed toast, topped with a generous dollop of fat free butter and nigella seeds, is quintessentially a simple but skilled brunch plate to turn to. Few love to experiment it with Chia and poppy seeds. Delivering on each count of bright yellow color and beautiful aroma of honey, yeast and spices, the toast pairs nicely with a towering glass of hot chocolate, whipped up thick withCallebaut (a Belgian chocolate brand) on a rainy afternoon. Come summer and it is the perfect time to begin working with your favorite jam and jelly toppings. Could you ask for anything more of a perfect brunch? And to think you could drive right past your โtuck-awayโ spot!
Uniquely organic the sourdough loaf has spicy, warming notes of turmeric and black pepper all holed-up in an airy chewy bread that is perfectly balanced with the natural tang of sourdough. Great for making some lively sandwiches or unconventional bruschetta, this loaf is an absolute must for avocado toast! True to its name this is one singular bread experience you just couldn’t miss!
Almond Chocolate Mug Cake
Feature credits: ‘ Now you can enjoy Mug cakes ‘Gluten free” by Ashees cookbook in Youtube.com on Sep.08, 2020.
On a keto diet? No worries! If there is one food that could up your protein count and is a heart-healthy choice, it is a cozy warm mug filled with a sweet, simple, gooey and moist cake! Unlike other mug cakes that run aground because of the taste of prep-made mixes, this one comes packed with goodness of almond meal, maple syrup, cacao powder and extra virgin olive oil and is one smart choice that will perk up your nutrients with 5 grams of fiber,13 grams of protein and 3 mgs. of iron. After all, you’re definitely need not eat empty calories with a comfort food!
Convenient and gluten free, a single serve of this mug cake packs extra punch of chips, stirred-in after it is baked. Try it and you will find yourself taking a shot at it again and again. Just who wouldnโt spare 10 minutes for a meltingly heathilicious chocolate cake?
Almond Coconut Macaroon
Feature credits: ‘Coconut Macaroons’ by El Mundo Eats in Youtube,com on Jul.25, 2020.
Feeling stressed or bowled over! you are getting nostalgic for your favorite classic treats but also dread jumping over the line and ruining your workout tips. To bail out, take your comfort food a notch higher considering your health goal and taste preferences and try this homemade delight to make sure if itโs worth it. The real deal of eating this treat is that none of the ingredients are complicated. Shredded coconut, dark chocolate, egg whites and almonds, all come together to keep your heart healthy and cool, while keeping type-2 diabetes at bay! Naturally occurring polyphenols, offer anti inflammatory and anti oxidant effects to reduce the risk of chronic diseases, especially if you have sized up your crush modestly and opt for the recipe with at least 70 percent cacao.
In other words, this is one meal after that you could feel good about indulging in. Look out for flavors versions like Mango Chilli and Coconut Passion fruit- you will be awestruck!
Coconut Cream Pie Chia pudding
Image source:’Toasted coconut cream pie chia pudding’ in wecountcarbs.com on Sep.03, 2020.
If you are anything close like me then you must be spending a great deal of time thinking about food! We all usually lack creativity for day meals that could be simple and often confused with being โflatโ; but did you ever think that even a small platter of coconut cream pie chia pudding could bring a little sensation to the dinner table? Rich and decadent this velvety coconut pudding has slices of banana and comes topped with coconut whipped cream and toasted coconut!
Chia seeds are the most versatile of FODMAP(Fermentable Oligosaccharides, Disaccharides, Monosaccharides, and Polyols, or say short-chain carbohydrates and sugar)fiber source. 10 gms /2 tbsp potion and you have just served yourself 8 gs of carbs and 8 gs of fiber!. Packed with Omega-3s, proteins and dietary fiber, this indulgent and nutrient dense pudding is a smart way to keep your gut healthy. Texture though is something that takes getting used to but health benefits are unassailable.
Could you think of a better low carb, keto friendly sweet treat to perk up your dinner spread! So, do yourself some good and indulge in this taste of tropical paradise!
Lemon and Yogurt syrup cake
Image source: ‘Lemon and yoghurt syrup cakes’ in taste.com.au.
If you think that you are a sucker when it comes to lemony delights, then this slightly tangy, flavorful, moist and totally delicious incredible cake is what you will love even waking up to, let alone enjoying after a quaint dinner. Marrying healthier options of coconut sugar, spelt flour and low fat Greek yogurt, this cake is a super moist and amazingly delicious end to your sweet craving. A simple lemon syrup brushed on while the cake is still warm, whips up magical flavors in each slice. For a twist, have it served with fruits, whipped cream, chocolate syrup or whatever you can think of. Berries with a light sprinkle of powered sugar make it the perfect way to have an angel treat, when you are on the go!
Cherry Coconut Yogurt Bites
Image source: ‘Cherry Coconut Frozen Yogurt Bites’ in probulin.com on Ap.16, 2021.
If those summery days are still all heat and sweat and your discomfort is inching up, chances are you are looking for something to cool you down. This refreshing convenience food tastes more like a chill cheesecake. Pureed cherries, coconut flavored Greek yogurt, maple syrup and shredded coconut; all blend together into a heavenly frozen bite!
Getting worked up over wrecking your fitness goals? Donโt fret; in bargain you get 1 gram of fiber and 5 grams of protein for each little frozen bite. Besides you score high on vitamins and minerals like vitamin-C and calcium also. (Each one cup of raw, pitted cherries gets you 10.8 mgs of vitamin-C.). If you are good on tweaked recipes, try lemon and blueberry combines for a start. Flavors here come together to make a super fresh, tangy and fruity treat. Eating it is almost like eating a pineapple flavored Paleta. Even strawberries and raspberries work really well and so do the peaches, nectarines or mangoes! With real ingredients and 45 calories or less per cup, this could easily be the newest sweet sensation to your private selection of desserts.
Lemon Pannacotta with Vodka Blueberry syrup
Manifesting an all Italian heritage, this inspired creamy lightly sweet tart, looks and tastes just as fancy. Served with some fresh fruit for added sweetness to balance out the tartness of lemon, every creamy bite of this molded chilled dessert is an oomphmoment where the superbly complimenting tang of fresh berry sauce never misses the count. Turn your simple dinner, quick breakfast or casual brunch into a delightful escapade. It’s a lovely ending for a great dine. Looking beautiful and tasting great, it’s always a big hit with guests!
Frozen Strawberry Cheesecake
Image source: ‘Frozen Strawberry Cheesecake’ in dairyfarmersofcanada.ca.
If you are searching for a โ healthyโ low calorie treat, look no further! Using buckwheat, almonds, coconut and dates in the base instead of crackers, means this cheesecake has already cut down on processed sugars and added natural goodness. A delicious departure from the classic version, this 210 calories per serve cheesecake is all set out frozen with fresh strawberry and mint topping. Plus, the flavors are amped up even more, thanks to a drizzle of homemade strawberry topping sauce. The end result is the cake you are not just going to find anywhere!
Chocolate Pudding With Olive Oil and Sea Salt
Image source: ‘Egg-Free Chocolate Pudding With Olive Oil and Sea Salt Recipe’ by David Zinczenko and Matt Goulding in eatthis.com on Mar. 12, 2019.
Off the shelf puddings usually fare worst on calorie counts. Besides the flat regular chocolate flavor would often leave you bored and wondering if it was really worth the splurge! This home cooked version of chocolate pudding skips the eggs, cuts down on calories and goes easy on dime! Peppery olive oil and crunchy flakes of salt combine sublimely in this rich bittersweet chocolate recipe while flavors simply get fired up up with a drizzle of caramel sauce and fruity olive oil.
Still looking for a twist! If you want a pudding that comes little less smoky, ask for the one that does half smoked oil and half regular. Alternatively you could try lemon, lime or mandarin olive oil. Results will just be as amazing for this 310 calorie per serve dessert and wonโt derail any of your healthy eating plans either.
Ginger-Carrot Pineapple Cake
Image source: ‘Easy Ginger-Carrot Pineapple Cake Recipe’ in eatthis.com on Jul.11, 2019.
A moist carroty delight with pineapple, chopped walnuts and topping of an easy-peasy cream cheese, this cake is one perfect combination of truly irresistible savory and sweet flavors. Grounded cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg make this tropical looking cake an all time treat that comes dotted with sweet raisins. Between the juicy pineapple and bright colored carrot ribbons, it is a perfect dessert for you to feel good about! Canned pineapple juice and finely chopped chunks whip up a fascinating zing that would leave with you with an insane crush for it. With 265 calories per serve, a dressed up cake with large shavings of toasted coconut never fails to take the center stage.
Cinnamon-Orange Lava Cake
In some places, dessert could simply mean a delicious piece of fruit. But there is everything so satisfying about this gooey lava cake! Watch the chocolate filling seeping out onto your plate as you slice through and the whole thing feels decadent! It might seem complicated but in fact it isn’t. Cinnamon and orange zest join bittersweet chocolate and pair perfectly to whip up a ramekin full of amazing flavors combination that you wonโt forget anytime sooner. With 16 ingredients and 281 calories per serve, this spice enhanced chocolate orange flavored lava cake is an irresistible fare.
Mango and Turmeric raw cupcakes
Image source: ‘Raw Mango Cupcakes’ by Hana Mendes in onegreenplanet.org.
How often would you not find turmeric reserved in kitchen cupboards for savory dishes? Do you know that this earthy spice mingles perfectly well with sweeter flavors too! Incredible! But turmeric is just the thing to whip up a healthy treat. Itโs loaded with curcumin, is amazing with antioxidant, anti inflammatory nutrients and livens up any recipe with a delicious earthy flavor and warm yellow hue.
Ever tried a turmeric laced dessert? From paleo turmeric โCadburyโ Crรจme eggs to Mango-Ginger ice creams, turmeric adds an unexpected delightful taste that is simple but satisfying.
Spring is behind us and sunshine, blue skies and cool weather is around the corner. These bright, healthy orbs of sunshine make for an inspired dining anytime, every time! The unique touch of turmeric mingles seamlessly with the rich sweetness of refreshing mango, fresh turmeric, fresh ginger, lime and creamed coconut. The crust is a mix of almonds, sunflower seeds and medjool dates. Grain free and vegan, the recipe brings every bit of elegance to your table and tastes absolutely divine. Tweak it anytime! Fresh mango slices, flaked coconut or edible flowers; itโs a healthy and beautiful compliment to your search to eat savvy. And the possibilities are endless!
The more conscious you are about what you eat, the more you are likely to live longer!!
Hereโs the thing about โtuck-awayโ foods; They donโt have a black-and-white definition and you just canโt treat them like any other food. One way to go about them, is to eat them like Vitamins. Binging on these nutrient dense desserts would mean adding more protein, more fats and other foods besides sugar. This would of course have one wanting for more and if thatโs you, itโs best you stay focused on โ just caloriesโ. There is a time and place for enriched desserts, maybe; but your cheat day is not everyday, every time. Just remember that a mouthful could serve your half the recommended calorie intake!
Your craving for something sweet may rolls in and out and bother you persistently, but you donโt have to chill or deprive your sweet tooth completely. It’s still possible to indulge in without canceling all your hard fitness work. โEverything in moderationโsounds OK, but the only problem is that if you are anything like me, you will have trouble stopping at few bites. Getting overboard is so easy and while sometimes itโs worth it, at others it pays not to go with so rich and super indulgent foods.
So! go ahead, freak out and ride a culinary rollercoaster with these best low pep tuck-away foods. You wouldnโt know but these calorie conscious foods could help you in shedding those pesky pounds without the worry of overdoing it!!
Food alone wonโt make you happy if you cannot live by yourself.
Generally the word โhealthyโ and โrevenge foodโ donโt share space together. A late night โJack in the boxโ run or a quick cheeseburger on a road trip, each could hurt you if you cannot stay away from super-sized value options or settle for anything that is fast and easy, only because you are hurt bad and are on a trip to avenge blindfolded!!
But whatever you figure out to straighten things up, do keep an eye out for a food with plenty of nutritional value. Revenge or otherwise, you would do well to love being a winner in anger!
A romance with retribution is always bittersweet. It drives crime unashamedly; statistics say, up to 20% of homicides and 60% of random fatal killings!! And what more it shapes politics too. Even President Trumpโs rush to Oval was nothing short of โrevenge of working classโ; those who felt cheated and abandoned had set the choice as an unforgiving sentiment.
Many of us would believe that vengeance against who have wronged us, is the only right choice to even out and the best way to avenge. In the heat of the moment it might feel relieving. This in fact is a powerful all pervasive emotion to get angry and wanting to hurt somebody who has harmed you. Have no doubts; the urge to avenge is all spiraling, reckless and self-inflicting. But then there is yet another one reason to celebrate its onset.
Post break up of revenge bout, the resulting lack of appetite will leave you slim n gorgeous in no time!! Who said I donโt care! A fitter, hotter, healthier and stunning you could make even your ex regret the heartache he caused you.
Revenge diet is not only about being depressed and ignoring food, all because of a weak or failing appetite. It merely adds to your woes. Revenge can never be your driving force and can never lead to anything worthwhile. On the contrary, it would make you look pale, weak and wasted. But the other side of the dime would nudge you to move on and be theeager beaveryou had always wanted to be. So, be the live wire and give yourself some credit if you are a belly watcher and following a crash diet. Just donโt let that other person get away with all the credits. Love the break in the clouds and swap your anger with a pirated but healthy diet. After all, a revengicidal you is at best a vengeful jihadi on a crash diet. If you are on little Caesars diet, the โpositiveโ side of a revenge diet will walk you to losing weight in style.
But remember if you have chosen โsquirrelโs dietโ just to make your ex jealous or uncomfortable to those who annoy you, the spite might be short lived and end once you have moved on. Close on heels will be your diet plan that would just go for a toss. If revenge was the sole motive you may gain more than you have lost! So stay positive and shed those extra kilos just for yourself. Nothing matters to anybody, once you or they move on even if you look a lot sexier after having lost weight. So who are you losing your weight for? Who could be your better audience than you yourself? Go for treks, cycle, do yoga or simply meditate. And you are on your way to a healthier, slim looks. Just make sure that once out for revenge, the romance with anger stays positive for you and diet itself remains healthy. Depressed people usually tend to lose interest in food and shed weight in an unhealthy way that messes the scale once out of revenge. So if you are out for revenge and wish to fume with anguish and anger in a useful way without getting mired in vindictive rations, try on these foodstuff and overcome your spiteful frenzy without hurting yourself. Some of these are better served cold. Here are 10 of them to cheer up with and enjoy while crushing your enemies, etc., etc.
The lies we tell ourselves about revenge food: Itโs healthy, itโs delicious!
โYou would never give your child a can of beer but you donโt think twice about giving them a can of soda.โ Dr. Robert Lustig .
Forgive those who have wronged you for they say this is good for your overall wellbeing! Whoโre you kidding? How could you move on tied to some good, old-fashioned, intricately plotted revenge, served ice cold? This reminds me โsome of your favorite food is best served cold! From screamin’ Sicilian Pizza to Bessie’s Revenge Cheese to spaghetti Bolognese, and from gazpacho to an icy martini, each favorite awaits to be eaten with a chilly disposition. Remember eating exotic is never considered a funeral food.
Ice cream sandwich
This one calls for baking one giant cookie. Try hard not to forget your revenge when you bake a giant cookie. Nothing would be more thrilling than eating a giant cookie in front of those who’ve wronged you, and not offering them a bite. No morsel would be just brutal and befitting.
Cucumber Soup with Mint, Watercress, and Feta Cheese
Fuming and feeling hot under the collar? Try this soup and feel your anger piping down to find you cool as a cucumber in a jiffy. Your luv for Feta though has just turned a tight corner! This is certainly not a recipe for weight loss, though it looks like one.
Image source: ‘Chilled cucumber dill mint soup with feta and red onion’ by Chef Andreia in dontask4rsalt. com
Time for a Regina George truly evil badass moment!!
Olive Oil Ice cream
Wondering if this frozen dessert is any good! โIf it tastes really awesome?โ The answer is yes. It tastes as good as the aftermath of retribution!! What wonโt taste good though is if you also push some sautรฉed onions and garlic in it and try it in a chocolate dipped waffle cone, sprinkled with cinnamon dust.
For the fun of it maybe you could just let that thought marinate with you for a while. The mirthful satisfaction of avenging silently is so brazenly gratifying that your stormy mood will find peace even if it is short lived. Choose a light-bodied fruity olive oil over its heavy peppery cousin and you will fall in love with the olive oil gelato, Great flavor and texture!! You just afford to miss the works.
Raspberry and Aperol Floats
This frozen delight will make you shut out all the insanity and ills for a while. And so would Aperol, that Italian bitter aperitif with a vibrant orange hue made of gentian, rhubarb, and cinchona, among other things. But what if you took your first sip of what seemed like some great creamy vanilla ice cream float, and instead you get to jab a straw into a monstrous frozen orb of ice? Call it a disaster that would be the worst, correct; the absolute worst. This edgy creamsicle, bittersweetly balanced and boasting of a crown of coral foam, is somewhat akin to Campari but is less boozy. Try it, you may end up admiring it for all the things gone wrong here!
Ajoblanco
A popular Spanish cold soup made of bread, crushed almonds, garlic, water, olive oil, salt and sometimes vinegar and usually served with grapes or slices of melon is essentially a more delectable version of white gazpacho. Traditionally made with green grapes the recipe is brightened up by adding green apple. It however, does little to your soothe your stormy mood as you dig in.
Feature credit:’ Ajoblanco- Spanish Garlic Soup Recipe’ by Happy Foods Tube in youtube.com on Aug 31, 2013.
The velvety texture is what makes it luscious for slurping, and atrocious to clean out of your favorite shirt!!
Watermelon Gazpacho
It’s pretty hard to be pathetic and be in a woeful mood when eating this bright pink, creamy and sweet soupโbut this dish is exactly the kind of recipe that you could try for a perfect revenge food!
Feature credits: ‘ Watermelon Gazpacho’ by Currytrail in you tube.com on Jun. 19, 2019.
Light and refreshing, Watermelon Gazpacho is healthy, low fat and very easy to digest, sweet and spicy in taste. Perfect as a cold summer soup, Gazpacho is much like its tomatoey version but has a blend of watermelon, cucumber, bell pepper and tomato.
When you rake up gazpacho regularly, this soup improves overnight as the flavors get a chance to blend. It’s perfect for a light meal on a hot day. You can easily make a large batch and enjoy it for days!
Potato Salad with Pickles and Dill
Image source: ‘Dill pickle potato salad’ by Sue in theeviewfromgreatisland.com .
Creamy and chunky, this potato salad with pickles and eggs, tossed with creamy dilldressing is a perfect side dish for your summer rush for revenge foods. This is one of those foods which could give you some inspiration for a perfectly delicious revenge diet. So simple yet dreamily cruel, this is a different and delicious take on a not-so-traditional potato salad. If you are a dill pickle lover, this is the right revenge salad for you. Swap out the mayonnaise for low-fat mayo when you want this saladto be full of crunchy, dill pickle goodness!
If you find it hard to eat, try inviting yourself to this not-so-delicious call. “Hey, let’s just call it water under the bridge; letโs try some delicious potato salad!” in an apparent attempt to bury the hatchet all within you. The stellar tang of fresh dill, sweet celery and pungent red onions that beckons you is always a flavorful way to troll yourself with a pop of flavors!!
Cakes and bakes: Thereโs a sweeter way to avenge
And itโs not always sugarโs fault. Indulge in those beer and wine blended cupcakes or stuff yourself with custard filled tarts, take a trip to a bar to create your own unique combination of frosties or rush out to your vacations with pies that could travel in a jar!; you just couldnโt blame that little bright crystals of sweetness, each time you couldnโt pull off your revenge! Try passing on a sweet revenge on someone else then.
People say bizarrely mean things that could make anybody go really mad. And if you happen to be the fuming victim, itโs time for some of these so-called trolls to get a taste of their own medicine. So how does it work? Begin by tracking down the physical location of the offensive person via the IP address. Whip up a retaliatory mini cake with said comment decorated in icing or edible letters. Box it and send to the person who wrote the vile comment, with a copy of the comment taped to the inside of the box. Trust me, nothing feels better to identify the tweet that spoke ill of you and tried to trump you as being the most insane person and then slam it in your own unique way. Itโs heartwarming to name and shame the guilty. The shaming mini-cake in fact works almost like having a little parachute of sanity. Your greatest satisfaction will be just how weirdly awkward and embarrassing it gets for the wrong-doer. It works in no less the same way as a sweet savory recipe!
Still not convinced!! If you cannot avenge then take revenge on yourself. Pretty Italian cakes for instance make for a delicious revenge diet. Try cassataโa traditional Sicilian cake that uses sponge cake, sweetened ricotta, chocolate bits and candied fruit draped with a bright green marzipan fondant. The taste however is rather โacquiredโ and could leave you crest fallen, hungry and utterly dismayed. Pared-down version that blends all the familiar flavorsโricotta, dark chocolate, pound cake, almond liqueur and candied orange, is a better choice though. Then you are welcome to try horde of other delights. From moist dark chocolate cakes with layers of buttercream icing to tarts with vanilla layers soaked in sour cream, coconut syrup and whipped icing all wrapped in fresh coconut; these devil foods are atrociously tasty and await to incriminate you.
Pico de gallo
Image source: ‘Pico De Gallo Salsa Recipe’ by Teri Gilson in foodmeanderings.com on Ap. 28, 2021.
Pico de gallo or salsa fresca or salsa cruda, is a typical Mexican cuisine. Traditionally made from chopped tomato, onion, and serrano peppers, with salt, lime juice, and cilantro, Pico de gallo is used in much the same way as other Mexican liquid salsas.
Traditionally made with in-season, ripe, juicy tomatoes, if you wish to draw the strings harder for your sins, pull it together using hard, flavorless โwinter whites,” you’re just asking for a bland, lackluster salsa. And this is one dish nobody would ever wish on his or her worst enemiesโฆor is it? Call it food regret, food challenge or food jealousy, vengeance is always more satisfying when exacted in an unexpected way at an unexpected time. Wish you some luck!
Sushi
Image source: ‘Top 5 Places for Sushi on International Sushi Day in Kolkata’ by Madhushree Basu Roy in eazydiner.com on Jun. 18, 2019.
Elegant arrangement, enhanced simplicity and ethereal beauty is what turns Sushi into a work of genius. The preparation, shape, presentation and taste though somewhat differs from place to place representing tradition and characteristics so inherent to the locality. What more, the drama unfolds right before your eyes by the chef, and the enchantment that follows is simply irresistible. Traditionally sushi was prepared as pickled fish preserved in vinegar but nowadays it contains rice and is prep with sushi vinegar served with a white radish thinly peeled to a sheet like thingy and then julienned into fine strips. Few restaurants prefer to serve string Daikon(white radish) sans its spicy tangy taste.
Is it rude? How could you possibly draw blood for your offence if itโs none other than you? And especially when you donโt want to eat rushing with other things! My advice? Donโt feel offended, dine out alone and make sure that sushi is served with chili- all cold. Weird combo of food would simply overpower your sushi rush and might just as well ruin the evening for food being wildly off-theme. What a crass way to avenge yourself! You eat a lot or you simply couldnโt. Just one of the few things I can think of!
Let happiness find you!
I have never really understood what is meant by saying โRevenge is a dish best served coldโ. Does it mean trying gazpacho? โ a tomato soup that everyone likes hot, but is served chilled on purpose, to be a huge disappointment and a rude shocker; especially if you think you are a sensitive-toothed person.
And what about โRevenge being sweetโ? Is it a revenge-gazpacho that needs sugar and the tomatoes are unripe โ but just a pinch. Maybe revenge should never be themed desserty; itโs confusing enough dish as it is. And finally thereโs that saying, โRevenge is a kind of wild justiceโ, Uh-Oh! No food-references here! But you might try some cured salty pork and plate it as a hearty, chilled, salty refreshing revenge-gazpacho. Thatโs just perfect for your pay back moments. Of course, there are ways to turn your food into a good healthy diet that will bounce you back to โfreedomโ and lose weight happily! What do you care, if your revenge diet reeks of rebounds of sorts!
So sit back quietly, eat well, grieve if you must and carry on with losing flabs!!
When it comes to sweets, who would ever say never to those fleeting spikes of pleasure! But ever wondered how guilty, bittersweet or elusive their past has been? From frosted pies to sweet buns to cakes to Pop tarts, they all are winners and each one of them has an intriguing story to tell. Itโs time we heard them. Like an impossible love affair letโs try and make the future of cheat food truly free and fair!! ย
Imagine this. You drop by your neighborhood pรขtisserie and decide to pick up one of those non-descript sweets that you have read so much about; but have not tried so far.
You decide on the right one and reach out to pick it upโฆ and it screams!!
What the hell?!
That pud is talking, you are taken aback! No correct, screaming!!
Ok, so now you are getting a little panicky. Whatโs happening here? Whatโs going on with this dish?
Not for a moment would you believe that a future is in the making where the food is empowered to talk back and tell us everything about itself? Not yet! Not sure for now, but give or take another ten years down the line, your favorite food might mimic a โblock chainโ-a โdifficult to follow chain without any trailโ,thanks to digital identity technologies sailing high these days. Everything will have an end-to-end encrypted log and our everyday pud will be able to tell us the full story of its existence!
Think of a future when we make a pick of dessert, scan a QR code and see the story of its life, and everything that owns a part of its story. Could you believe that trust apart, the power will be all ours to vote with our wallet in this moment!
This is when our food will ask us to listen, wanting us to trust what it has to say! Sounds weird doesnโt it? But if and when this happens the stories we get told, might become the truth and the narrative a reality.
Truly free and fair: The โrun cleanโ truth
Ever wondered, why bakes especially cakes are synonymous with birthdays? Why stubs of wax standing deep down in the frosting of a sticky sweet chocolate cake, wink at you when lighted, to blow them and make a wish before eating the poor-me with a gusto? Funny but intense; the secret lives of goodies at your table leaves so much to explore! So, letโs begin by unearthing unheard of amazing life stories of 10 classic desserts that may have lost relevance over the time to more modern, processed favorites like Oreos and Pop tarts, yet remain as stunning and awesome as ever.
German Chocolate Cake
โNo, it is not named after the country Germany. With key ingredients like sweet baking chocolate, coconut, and pecans , this out of box cake drew its name from an American- Sam German (1802-88)-who first came up with a mild dark baking chocolate bar for Bakerโs Chocolate Company in 1852. The company chose to honor him by naming the chocolate after himโโBakerโs Germanโs Sweet Chocolate.โ The possessive form slowly faded away over the years, leaving behind the name German Chocolate Cake that we know of today.
A stupendous hit ever since it came into being, this cake filled and topped with coconut pecan frosting, stayed unapologetically decadent and indulgent for the larger part of 20th century but today this notโso-German chocolate cake seems to have lost all charm and sweetness, and offers not much but texture to the cake. In fact, without the cream cheese frosting that tops it, it might actually taste quite bland to few. The texture is quite similar to coconut and renders the cake a German vibe. That apart, this cakeโs appeal is nothing much to write home about!!
Revenge Cookie (Neiman Marcus cookie)
Itโs unlikely that you havenโt heard that funny story about the woman lunching at the Neiman Marcus Cafรฉ in Dallas, who loved the cookies so much that she asked for the recipe. For โonly two-fiftyโ and the bargain was settled; but when the bill arrived, to her dismay she found out that she was being charged $250 for the recipe. The outraged woman and the story of enduring myth that followed, famedNeiman Marcus cookies as a delicious variation of chocolate chips confection.
The blended oatmeal in the dough is what gives these famous cookies the kind of tender, chewy, chocolaty texture and body that thrills every palate. Homemade and full of chocolate chips and nuts, this knockout bake is a guaranteed crowd-pleaser any time of day. Add some more chocolate from a grated Hershey bar and you could woo even the most unrepentant naysayers to taste it.
The cookie story in fact, serves beyond a typical chocolate chip confection recipe. And itโs not difficult to know why! The state of outrage of this woman had decided that no one was ever going to pay for this recipe again and it was shared in no less than a chain letter style. Fast forward! This bake story lately came to be reimagined and reinterpreted as โRevenge cookie taleโ. Some even called it Urban Legend cookie!
So much for the story, but it left in its wake equally delicious and mouthwatering trail of Neiman Marcus cookies.
โGoshโ! It did make a good story.
Jalebi
From โZulbiyaโ of ancient Persia to Bengalโs omnipresent โJilapiโ the luscious swirls of this Indian dessert– Jalebi has travelled a full circle!
Try it on a frosty, finger numbing cold winter morning. A hurried walk to the nearest sweet shop, all trussed up in woollens, an impatient wait in the queue and finally you get to sink your teeth in a platter full of hot, swirled, deep fried sugary goodness, topped with that heavenly rabri (sweet, condensed-milk-based dish). Your soul sighs in contentment!
Already going gaga over this unrivalled dish! And why shouldnโt you? It has never failed to stir up an obsessed enthusiast in you. Eat it just plain after a humble breakfast or evening snack of Samosa and Chai combo, in milk or with curd, hot or cold, this syrupy yeasty batter is a delightful end to your meal; any time, every time.
But there is a dark side to this recipe too! This may shock you a bit, but Jalebi never originated in India. In fact, the one that has turned into a national craze and is a foodie-favorite elsewhere, is an evolved version of Middle Eastern โZalabiyaโ or the Persian โZulbiyaโ of the early 10th century. Finding mention in โKitab al-Tabeekhโ a Persian cook book by Muhammad bin Hasan al-Baghdadi, the recipe also found space in another 10th century cookbook Kitab al-แนฌabฤซแธซ, penned by Ibn Sayyaf al-Warraq- an Arab cook book compiler and author from Baghdad.
Popular in Iran even to this day, Zulbiya unlike Jalebi has an asymmetric floral coil pattern and mandates the syrup of honey and rose water instead of simple cardamom flavored sugar syrup.
Brought into the Indian subcontinent by the Persian traders and invaders alike throughout the medieval period, the shipped-in Zulbiya didnโt take long to weave itself into the traditional Indian cuisine like never ever. Today this syrup sweetness has invaded every menu. From road side eatery to country side fair to upscale restaurants this delightful cheat food leaves everyone ecstatic, indulgent and stoked with joy- always!
From heavy weight โJalebaโ of night markets of Madhya Pradesh and โChhanar Jilipiโ of Bengali kitchens to โKhoya Jalebiโof Hyderabad to โJahangiriโof Andhra Pradesh; call what is what; the lip smacking flavors from a hot, sweet, dripping Jalebi will never let you have enough. Allow yourself to burn for a while and this could be one more oomph on your table!
Rasgulla
To those who argue if Bengal has contributed to this country anything other than Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore, spark to Indian nationalism and Well Spring Pharmaceutical Corporation (makers of Gelusil antacid), they must not forget that it is the Bengal that touched India with soft, pearly white balls of cheese, dipped in flavored sugar syrup that has endured a top pick frenzy ever since.
Just as much few claim foreign origin for Marx, some stand up for an extra Bengali source for the making of rasgulla. No beans spilled! But it stays; no reference to cheese is found in India till the end of 17th century. So how could the Bengal ever lay its hand on cheese?
After Vasco Da Gama โdiscoveredโ India in 1498 via a route that the Arabs had in use for at least two millennia before him, it was not long after, that the Iberians had claimed the entire Indian coast stretching from Chittagong in Bengal to Bombay in Marathwada.
And it were the Portuguese that ended up introducing three different acid-curdled cheese to Bengal. One was obviously Chhana(milk split with citric acid). The other one was the more smoky โBandel Cheeseโ; an all-time British favorite, and the last but not the least was more like a hardened โfetaโ (a Greek brined curd white cheese made from sheep’s milk or from a mixture of sheep and goat’s milk) that could never take off or make big because of its tangy, salty and sharp flavors. Nowadays found only in Dhaka, it is fondly remembered as โDhakai Paneerโ.
Chhana subsequently spread to rest of India, where it was compressed into blocks and given the Persian name for cheeseโPaneerโ; a name that even the Turkish had borrowed from elsewhere! The heavenly blend of milk solids and sugar that enraptures us today as โRasgulla, owes its honeyed grace to an even more sugary soul from Bengal-Nobin Chandra Das. Few still argue over the brains behind the business and claim otherwise. Rude and shocking! But whatever the controversy; if he didnโt invent it in the first place, at least it was him who tweaked it, took it to the market and finally to your plate as an out of the box sweet.
To this day, this chhana ball boiled in sugar syrup that makes it spongier and gives it a longer shelf life, is unarguably one stellar pick of a dessert. Served cold makes it even more ravishing and overwhelming!
Baked Alaska
A cake that melts hearts and is a celebrations celebrity, baked Alaska usually ends up as a shared dessert in restaurant menus. This cake and ice cream dish enveloped in meringue and then brรปlรฉed on the outside, is an unlikely but wonderful outcome of the baking method that was conceived by an 18th century scientist Sir Benjamin Thompson whose way to prepare the “Omelette Norwegge,” the treat’s name at the time, was later embraced by Charles Ranhofer, a Parisian chef working at Delmonico’s in New York.
This often โGo-dutchโ special dessert is said to have been invented to celebrate the US acquisition of Alaska in 1867. Carved out of velvety cake and tantalizing ice cream, topped with meringue and set on fire after adding Kirsch or liqueur, the tale, taste and drama of this classic cake is beyond a delicate acclaim!
Mud Pie
Rich, indulgent and gooey, this pie is made with flourless chocolate cake filling topped with whipped cream in a buttery chocolate crust, and looks and feels like the muddy banks of Mississippi river. It is rumored that this delicate pie most likely originated in the U.S. State of Mississippi, hence the name. If anything said in โOur Fifty Statesโ is true, then the earliest confirmed mention of this legendary delicacy did come from Jenny Meyer, a waitress in Vicksburg, Mississippi. The melting frozen pie created by the Chef Percy Tolliver reminisced her of Mississippi mud that followed the great floods of 1927. Her remarks paved the way for christening this heavenly dish of Graham cracker crust, fudgey chocolate sauce, chocolate pudding, chocolate whipped cream and fluffy whipped cream; Baked Alaska! All in a sensational awesome blend of flavors, this recipe cares little or none for the waistlines. The gooey chocolate sauce sitting atop a crumbly chocolate crust and served with ice cream, ever screams indulgence and never has any mercy for potbellies!
With more than a dozen recipe variations, this pie nowadays comes with an Oreo cracker crust, a layer or three of chocolate pudding and a creamy topping of whipped cream,marshmallow fluff, or meringue. Honestly, I donโt think if it could get any better than this!
Doughnuts
“Who made the doughnut with the hole in the middle? Just how it got there will be always a riddle.” Guess why Cindy Hutchins โ a celebrity singer of 20โs sounded so true to the convoluted past of the humble doughnut! The origin lay right there in the name, but was so easy to miss.
Colorful donuts with different decorations
It is true that this meek recipe with a weird past, involved Dutch immigrants, Russian exiles, and French bakers and who else; celebs like Irving Berlin and Clark Gable!
Seemingly typical American in origin, doughnuts have been around so long that even the archaeologists have been prompted to rummage the history of Native American settlements. Fast forward to mid-19th century and you may come across Elizabeth Gregory, mother of New England shipโs captain Hanson Gregory, who dreamed of and created the first doughnut as a deep fried dough that used her sonโs cargo of nutmeg and cinnamon and a bit of lemon rind. Some say she did this purposely so that her son and the crew could store the pastry for long voyages; one that would ward off scurvy and cold as well. She had put hazelnuts and walnuts in the center as an afterthought and in a literal-minded way called them doughnuts.
Few argue that it were the Dutch settlers who brought the โolykoeksโ or “oily cakes”โto New Amsterdam or New York City of today sometimes in the 1800s. But few also credited Hanson Gregory, the captain for jabbing a hole in the middle of the pastry that created the first ever real doughnut meeting the โmortal eyesโ. Cynics think otherwise and maintain that he did this to stint on ingredients or maybe he thought that the hole made it lot easier to digest!
You would agree that less is always more, but doughnut didnโt come to fore until World War I, when it was first fed to the French trenches in million. War over, and back home the natural yen for doughnuts invaded the supermarkets and home kitchens alike. But it was not until 1920 that Adolph Levitt -a Russian refugeeโs doughnut machine that signaled the arrival of doughnuts as a gainful trade. Till then it was merely a taste sensation and a public spectacle. And itโs not so difficult to know why!
For generations people had stood behind those glass windows transfixed to shiny conveyor belts and racks filled with fresh glazed doughnuts, often half swooning at the warmth and sweet vanilla richness of it all and learning in the process that the hole is made and not cut out. There right before their eyes, the dough, shaped like a perfect smoke ring, jumped off into a vat of boiling oil, got turned over to brown on the other side, and came out from the oil on a moving ramp, one by one like ducks in a row.
Wars worked like a powerful stimulant that pushed the doughnut consumption. From Doughnut Dollies (the Red Cross women volunteers)toIrving Berlin to Smithsonianโs; by late 1950s, everybody had romanticized the doughnuts into a frenzy. Nobody was minding eating his or her way through some anxious waitingmoments! Consumption figures though drew the ire of nutritionists.
Generally deplored and not encouraged by the waist watchers, the 300 calorie batter, derided mainly for its sugar and fat contents, bemoans the unsaturated fats of the glazed delight. But neither the science nor the culinary geniuses scoff at it or cry-wolf to its utter addicts. TheKrispy Kreme‘s hot “original glazed” doughnut safely adverted as “angelic” or even “sugar-coated airโ remains a top pick cheat food to stay stoked and ecstatic to this day!
Lady Baltimore cake
A specialty and a favorite wedding cake, this mountainous white cake topped with a โSeven Minute Frosting โis what makes it so distinctive. The combination of chopped nuts and dried or candied fruits in its frosting make this cake very unique and render it complex flavors.
Image source: ‘Lavender Lady Baltimore cake for Evelyn’ by Jennifer Teismann in flickr.com on April 21, 2010,
Culinarians and critics are unable to find any recorded mention or recipe for the Lady Baltimore Cake except that it was in 1906 that it first appeared in newspaper articles. So, who actually invented or first made this cake is a matter of dispute. Some say thatOwen Wister (1860-1938), a popular romance novelist had modeled the central character Lady Baltimore-after one of the cityโs former belles, Alicia Rhett Mayberry in his story line. In the novel, Lady Baltimore created a cake also called โLady Baltimore.โ It is rumored that Wisterโs description of the cake sent readers of his novel scrambling to find a recipe that was yet to be created.
Few chroniclers claim that it were the Florence and Nina Ottelengui, the longtime managers of Charlestonโs Lady Baltimore Tea Room for a quarter of a century, who had created a cake toward the end of the 19th century which was somewhat akin to common โQueen Cakeโ of that period.
And if Janet Clarkson of โThe Old Foodieโblog is to be believed, the first recipe surfaced in December 24th 1906 edition of the Daily Gazette and Bulletin newspaper of Williamsport, Pennsylvania. This classic delight created with white cake layers and a fruity and toasted nut filling of figs, raisins, pecans or walnuts and crowned with boiled marshmallow icing turns out as a much lauded southern belle cake of the early 20th century. Of course, the Lady Baltimore cake apparently had nothing to do with the city of Baltimore or a lady for that matter. From most accounts, its origin is a teaser.
Delicate and light in texture, this pillowy white cake enhanced by the syrupy sweetness of dates and raisins, is an anytime ethereal finish to your meal!
Lemon chiffon cake
Light and airy-thanks to the many beaten egg whites that are folded into the batter-the chiffon cake was invented by a Californian insurance agent turned caterer Harry Baker. Lighter than a buttery pound cake and moister than a sponge cake, the cake was an absolute hit overnight, but the recipe could gain some acceptance some 20 years later, only after it was sold to General Mills. A closely guarded recipe, the cake in the meantime kept on doing rounds in the Hollywood feasts and probably for Brown Derby in L.A.
Fast forward to 1947! once the beans got spilled, Betty Crocker shared it as a signature dessert in a pamphlet in 1948 along with 14 recipes and variations to it. Rest is just history!
Image source: ‘Lemon Chiffon Cake’ by Foodie Photography in foodiephotography.photoshelter.com.
Lower in saturated fat than most butter cakes, the light texture of the lemon chiffon cake comes primarily from beaten egg whites, which are folded into the batter and give it a high rise similar to that of an angel food cake. Tall with an airy, even crumb that promises every bite to be light and fluffy, this cake may not have multiple layers or snowy frosting, but never falls short as a crowd โpleaser either! Blissfully overwhelming and always a top pick, the cake is an inescapable addition to your repertoire for cake-bakes!
Chess pie
The name sounds a bit weird! But this pie certainly has nothing to do with the game of chess. Unlike the heady game, this pie is a simple but magical blend of butter, lots of sugar, milk, cornmeal, eggs and a dash of vinegar.
Little is known about its origin but most believe that the recipe descended from early English settlers in the Virginia colony. A recipe similar to it is found in the cook book by Martha Washington from mid-18th century. Few however disagree and claim that this could be a deviation of โcheese pieโ that is similar in texture to British cheesecake and lemon curd. Yet another belief is that it was named after the town of Chester, England or perhaps it drew its label after the โpie chestโ– a piece of furniture prior to advent of freezers in which the pies could be stored.
Plenty of guesses and a bit of folklore, but the origin of the name chess pie to this day is uncertain. The close one is, that since it resembled much to the English lemon curd pie, โchess โmight have been a more โAmericanizedโ inflection of the word โcheese,โ which basically meant curd pie.
A cheese-less cheesecake with variations ranging from lemon to chocolate to buttermilk and nuts to Coconut and orange; this exalted recipe has time travelled from the period when pecans and other nuts were hard to come by and a sugar pie merely meant combining eggs, sugar, flour or cornmeal and butter. With unrivalled storage qualities, this pie was one dessert that was crazily endeared even by the queens and bishops and knights alike.
To this day, this pantry staple classic made out of basic pantry ingredients is an up-the-sleeve surprise serve to friends and family alike!
Perhaps this all is a bit crazy or a little dreamy, but if sweet buns and cakes and those frosted pies could talk โ tell us their real story โ well, letโs just say, who wouldnโt want to listen? They may not be screaming yet but their story is screaming out to be told. So when they do talk someday, letโs listenโฆ
Or at least, may be marvel at their awesome tale for now!
Even as more, stranger-than -fiction sobfest stories await to be heard!!
From the black forest cake you bring out at special celebrations to finger buns from the local bakery, the gen-x versions of retro desserts have a history to remember. And nothing hits the spot better than these vintage remakes. Reminisce and re-live the awesome goodness of these smash hits from the fabulous fifties. Just let go of yourself and don’t forget; you are never too old to enjoy!!
Few things endure, like fond memories of the foods we ate as children. They are pleasant and reassuring. If you are from the 1950s or 1960s, you would agree that life was no less complicated and imperfect then, as it is now. Those were the times when nobody would settle for anything less, especially if it was about food. Yet it was all so simple and perfect! From frosted party sandwich loaves to tea sandwich treats, from ribbon sandwiches to their pinwheel and mosaic cousins; moist, frosted and vibrantly flavored classics ‘afters’ were everywhere. You just couldnโt have helped drool over those sensational dinner and dessert combos! Few of you might still be bumping into Spam loaf flashback now and then.
And remember those quirky ads plastered high and bright across the billboards and splashed over TV screens! ‘Try topping your misterโs Jell-O Chiffon Pie with whipped cream and shaved chocolate. Heโll love it!โ. The years of fabled 50โs were the dawn of easy-to prepare foods. For the first time you didnโt need to make simple dish like pie from scratch. Jell-O had come out with new easy-fillings for favorites like Chiffon and Lemon meringue pie. Cakes and pies were the hot favorites for desserts. Every baker now knew that for Chiffon desserts, egg whites was to be beaten into the mix to produce the โfluffyโ consistency. But with the new Jell-O Chiffon pie filling, only sugar and water whipped up a light and airy treat that was similar in texture to that of Chiffon fabric, another popular trend in the Fabulous Fifties!
The first thing that had stormed the center stage of desserts then, were the ads featuring Jell-O recipes. Jell-O was a big deal then and people were beginning to learn all the neat things one could do with it; Parfaits, Jell-O molds, even pies! Popping in a fruit into a Jell-O mold was the perfect sweet pot-luck theme. To the 1950โs, Jell-O was heaven-sent! It made things so easy to end up with people-pleasing treats. All that was then needed to satisfy a sweet tooth was a wrap of banana cream pudding, a frozen pie crust, and some whipped topping; simple, classic, and always a huge hit!
But, like all the subtler things in life, desserts too changed trends. Over the time the people have aced the art of making great desserts, but the missive is loud and clear; Golden desserts from fifties are still missed. You canโt time travel, but you can always remember the happy fulfilled days of poodle skirts, jukeboxes and diner foods of old fashioned recipes invariably flanked with assortment of delicious desserts to polish off.
Take a trip down the memory lane with these 15 long forgotten desserts and find out what second courseeveryone was talking about then and if any of those delights are still around or forgotten much like that exquisite chocolate fondue you were gifted on your wedding day!!
Angel Food Cake
This sponge cake was one dessert that made its place as the most popular sweetserve to the guests in the 1950s. Topped with sugary berries and no chemical leavener, this most ethereal of cakes drew its distinction from other kuchens of its time,for it ruled out butter. First created in as early as the late 1800s, it gained wide acclaim because of a particularly light, fluffy, airy texture and mild flavor. “Food of the angelsโ, is how people knew it then. Traditionally baked in a tube pan or bundt pan (inspired by a traditional European cake known as Gugelhupf, the pan is shaped into a distinctive doughnut form), it was typically devoured plain, but preferred toppings were a fruit compote or sauce or a light glaze; flavors that turned it heaven-bound. Topped or frosted, these angels were delicious anytime of the year.
Baked Alaska
Feature credits: ‘ Baked Alaska recipe’ by Home cooking Adventure in youtube.com on Jun. 30, 2017.
Made from sponge cake and meringue topped ice cream, this decadent dessert, rumored to have been invented as early as 1867 in New York, is quick-baked in high temperatures. The meringue cutsโoff the ice cream from the heat and prevents it from melting while it sets.
Baked Alaska first found its way into print in Fannie Farmerโs 1896 Boston cooking school cook book, though some say that the idea of baking ice cream inside cake and meringue had been around for quite some time. This science defying pud vowed the masses when introduced in the 1950s. Made with a sponge bottom, a thick layer of jam, a dollop of ice cream and a perfectly baked meringue shell, this hot- outside-cold-inside dessert had quickly turned into an impressive potluck centerpiece. For a refreshing end to a rich meal, this freezer finale never failed to draw ‘oohs and aahs’.
Banana Split
First created in 1904 the banana split was the buzz word at soda fountains all the way up to 1950โs. There were lots of ways to make one, but the classic consisted of a banana cut lengthways, served with vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream, a drizzle of pineapple, chocolate and strawberry sauce, plus whipped cream and maraschino cherries or two. Chopped nuts or peanuts, fresh berries, and pineapple chunks were other traditional toppings that made this dessert stood out among the usual fare. Cool, creamy and with no last minute fuss since you pull it out from the freezer, this classic banana skillet dessert was something to look at and unbelievably delicious.
Served in a boat shaped dish, it features as a vintage throw back on diner menus even today.
Pineapple Upside down Cake
Image source: ‘Pineapple Upside-Down Cake’ by Betty Crocker Kitchens in bettycrocker.com on
This cake has a long history stretching over to may be Victorian or more. Nobody is sure! Easy as it were; fruit, sugar and other ingredients were first added into a pan, then cake batter was poured over it and cooked over medium flame; the stuff would then be dumped upside down. Times changed and so did the way it were made. Not long after a machine was invented that sliced pine apples into rings, it was introduced to this upside down cake concept. By the end of 1950โs this simple delicious dessert had made inroads on kitchen platters everywhere. Jell-O products though didnโt blink then and continued to fascinate many. But kitchens of 50โs were beginning to like to use pineapple. Dole and Del-Monte pineapple ads were showcasing ideas on how to infuse pine apples into desserts. โPineapple upside down cakeโ found firmer grounds thereafter.
The 1950โs version of this cake hasnโt changed much today, but its popularity has waned over the time as the canned pineapple, once a favored convenience food โ so new and easy to make desserts โ also lost most in shelf space.
Unlike other dessert to many, it still tastes heavenly. If youโve had a slice of sweet cream pie before, you would know how good it tastes. Super simple ingredients! Sugar, butter, and heavy creamโฆneed anything more to be said?
This old-school one-plate cake is often baked in large cast iron skillet and pizza pans. Studded with diced pineapple and topped with glazed coconut and nuts, this one from a pre-boxed-mix times hums heavenly flavors to any fan of dump cake!
Peach cobbler
Winter desserts are everybodyโs favorite for they make you feel warm and cozy and satiate on a cold night. This dessert is no exception. Made in three easy steps you could try all types of fruit combinations. From blueberries, apples, pear, apricot, to mixed berries, just everything makes it look stunning and insanely yummy.
Although the dessert of baked fruits topped with biscuit dough has been around for ages, it came to be associated with the culinary renaissance of the 1950s. This was the time when adverts for tinned peaches were everywhere. Refreshing as it were with a smooth and sweet topping of whipped cream and light ice cream, a layer of diced peaches in it balanced out everything perfectly. The crust held the perfect touch of saltiness with a slight cinnamon flavor. No wonder this dessert checked out perfectly on all boxes; crunchy, sweet and salty, creamy, fruity; itโs got all you would ever want!
Made with fresh or canned peaches, a classic peach cobbler is never a miss even to this day. Prepared with fruits or savory filling, all baked in a large dish, covered with nuts and glorious sweetened peaches on the bottom and cakey goodness on top, this delightful lazy day cobbler could become your re-treat in no time!
Banana Foster
Image source: ‘ Banana foster’ in cookist.com
Sautรฉed bananas floating in a dreamy sauce of caramelized sugar and rum and topped with thawing vanilla ice cream! Would there be a more romantic dessert than this? Then thereโs a flame too, to bring in the hype.
This sticky caramelized dessert first appeared at Brennanโs restaurant in early 50โs and was named after the New Orleans Crime Commission chairman Richard Foster for whom it was created. This ready-in-10 minutes dessert made from bananas and vanilla ice cream, all trumped up with a sauce of butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, dark rum, and banana liqueur, was so easy to whip up after dinner. Firm, ripe bananas sautรฉed in a rum-infused caramel sauce were flambรฉed tableside and spooned over with vanilla ice cream. A pinch of cinnamon thrown onto the sauce as it flamed, forged a visual treat with an extra bit of drama!
An iconic delicious dessert of mildly cooked bananas bathed in a gooey spiced caramel sauce and drizzled over vanilla ice cream, this remains the most favored decadent rum laced treat since good oโl days. You can order it from the menu even today. Spoon it over French toast, waffles or crepes and switch peaches, pears or cherries, for banana and the twist in flavors is so magical and refreshing. But hell!. Then it wonโt be a banana foster any longer!
Garlic pudding
Feature credits: ‘Garlic Kheer’ by Times food in youtube.com on May 05, 2021.
When we say retro, the first thought that crosses our minds is something exotic and classic in an antique way; some long forgotten decadent treat that has retained its culinary appeal; is of high quality and represents the irresistibly best of its kind.
Garlic pudding is one such legendary dessert from Awadhi kitchens, which was not given a name, because the chefs didn’t want to reveal the secret ingredient in there. Its remarkable and intriguing history dates back to Mughal royal kitchens. With an unmistakable touch of silky flavors and mesmerizing textures, this all Indian signature dessert has somehow weathered the changing trends and has not lost on its heavenly appeal.
โLehsun ki kheerโ is a rich concoction of milk, dry fruits, and of course -the quintessential garlic. Rice pudding has always been an integral part of Indian cuisine and this one, because of the secret ingredient garlic, was not revealed until the late 40s. Still nonplussed!! Wondering how can garlic be used in a truly amazing dessert when it smells strong and has pungent flavor?
The smell incidentally is washed-off as garlic cloves undergo a hot bath and pungency is only a faint hint as the pudding is served cold with a handful of dry fruits as toppings. The flavor is something out of the box! The thick consistency of milk, the creaminess and the taste of cardamom, saffron and dry fruits, all make it taste more like an almond pudding. That mild pungency of garlic essentially helps to make this extreme dessert more subtle and light.
Kabishambardhana Burfi (Fudge)
Image source: ‘Top 20 Vintage Food Of India’ by superadmin in crazymasalafood.com on Ap.13, 2017.
The word Kabishambardhana means โHonors of the Poet โin Bengali. This historic recipe was prepared by the niece of India’s greatest poet and writer, โThe Bard of Bengal ” Nobel Laureate Rabindranath Tagore, to celebrate his 50th birthday. It was his favorite sweet dish. This recipe traditionally originated from Kolkata but failed to make much of a headway as it was closely guarded and only few knew about it .
All cauliflower!! Would you have ever dreamed of a sweet made out of mild tasting, slightly nutty and crunchy textured veggie? Today this unique fudge is nowhere to be found on the menu and you need to spoil yourself in the kitchen to make it and enjoy.
Easy and simple, this fudge requires only two ingredients, cauliflower and khoya or milk solids. Making the latter is simple but takes minimum two hours from scratch to finish. Switch to condensed milk, If you find that too onerous. Either ways you get a decadent dessert which is simply yum. Gluten free and mouthwatering, this barfi (soft fudge) doesnโt ask much of brain wracking and is a simple homespun fare. Adding saffron is optional and it will give a lovely hue along with the rich aroma.
Ricotta Pancakes in cardamom syrup
Malpuas or ricotta pancakes share an unmistakable special seat in every Indian kitchen and is a delight for innate connoisseurs around the World. Gluten free, rich, tender and indulgent; every bite of this creamy dessert soaked in cardamom syrup and sprinkled with pistachios make for an ethereal dessert and is an extravagance in taste! Similar to American hotcakes-wonderfully thick and fluffy and with just the right kind of light texture from the ricotta- these pancakes never fail to spark the craving for more.
But unlike the American peers, their popularity dates back to an era, that is best remembered as Vedic times. In Rigveda, there is a mention of โApupasโ made of barley flour and honey. Undeterred and densely influenced, these delightful pancakes have travelled through the times and have matured to this day to relive the awe of forgotten times.
Made using flour, spices and milk solids or paneer (fresh Indian cottage cheese) these pancakes get their golden hue after being deep fried in ghee (clarified butter) and then dunked in cardamom or saffron flavored sugar syrup. Just to remember you or if you didnโt know; saffron contains pharmacologically active compounds that render notably potent antioxidant activity.
For a twist, a stack of these gratifying crรชpes comes with the cardamom scented blueberry sauce for an indulgent brunch or fruity dessert. Top them with seasonal fruit and a drizzle of maple syrup, if you want a more evolved โsweet-aftersโ. There are still plenty of variations to be found; some have fruits like banana and pineapple mixed to the batter, others blend rice or barley flour with honey as a sweetener. A combination of spices like pepper, ginger, fennel and saffron are also used both in the batter and sugar syrup. Served with a garnish of chopped almonds and pistachios, it gets a Shineroad twist when accompanied with a creamy non dairy layering.
Magic Jell-O Dessert
Feature credits: ‘1950’s Magic Jell-O Dessert’ by Recipelion in youtube.com on Dec.27, 2016.
When it comes to dessert, sometimes we like a bit of nostalgia. Take a step back in time and you will find that some of the very best desserts from way-back-when came from golden agers. Somehow, they felt so comforting and filling, yet remained inexpensive!
It was the decade of 50โs that some staples of cuisine like macaroni and cheese were swaying the food connoisseurs; some of them immensely popular. People were also head-over-heels in love with Jell-O. Magic Jell-O Dessert had turned super popular then and itโs not difficult to see why? It was a show stopper that tasted stellar. Besides, the families of the 1950s were no longer afraid of crazy creativity in the kitchen and had come to value comfort foods.
So much was happening to good oโl school treats that they fell in and out of favors, yet remained just as delicious as ever. With simple ingredients, vintage desserts were both visually appealing and crazy easy. Jell-O in fact was easily a must have at any dinner or potluck party. Because everyone loved it there was always something for every taste. Cool things like slushies, chocolate pudding cats, dirt cups, and lollipop jiggles were creating fun for those who knew how to indulge in a yummy dessert that’s also fat-free and low-calorie. The excitement was virtually contagious!
Boiling water and gelatin blended for 30 secs and combined with cold water and ice cubes, never failed to spin the magic. Some more gelatin was stirred in till ice melted partially. A few hours of deep freeze, and everything was set nice and firm to enjoy.
Plain Jell-O and sweet Jell-O salads are still widely consumed and are reminiscent of the desserts from fabulous fifties.
Boston cream pie
Image source: ‘Gluten-Free Boston Cream Pie’ by Betty Crocker Kitchens in bettycrocker.com.
The French pastry chef who created this pie at Bostonโs Parker House hotel as early as mid 19th century, wouldnโt have imagined that well over a century later, this sponge cake layered with cream and iced with vanilla and chocolate fondant would still be doing rounds; even finding fame in doughnut flavor. The unwavering appeal of two layers of golden sponge cake sandwiching thick custard and all topped with a ganache glaze of chocolate, in fact owed its visibility to the Betty Crocker Mix from the 1950s. But traditional or not, itโs simply irresistible.
Moist and tender, this trifle is a very old concoction, but the variations since 50s have turned it into a classic occasion-ready centerpiece today. Even those loyal to traditional Parker house version are not going to miss eclectic flavors pinned down in this sublime dessert.
Red Velvet Cake
If only you could recall the onslaught of red velvet desserts that peaked in the 50s! A ruby red cake with cream cheese frosting and a storied history as old as Victorian, it rose to fame after being served at the Waldorf-Astoria in the 1930s. Red velvetโs origins are in fact mixed up with a more visually subtle dessert. This was Americaโs first chocolate cake that depended more on the science of baking for its color than a pinch of edible dye. A perfect throwback milk frosting had found everybody falling hard for it then in the 1950s.
Cream cheese frosting is the fun-fact hype on red velvet cake these days. Classic whipped cream frosting though is still everybodyโs call for a more balanced sweetness. A cloud of meringue piled sky-high over lemon-curd filling makes this meals-after a best seller.
Chocolate Chiffon Cake
Image source: ‘Chocolate Chiffon Cake with Cocoa Cream Filling’ by Jennifer in totallychefs.com
If you are keen for a potluck dessert that stands out from the rest, this is the cake you ought to be looking for. As adverted by General Mills โthe first really new cake in 100 yearsโ, the chiffon cake were everywhere in the late 1950s. Standing tall and elegant and put together in oil instead of traditional butter, this super soft rich textured kuchen was baked in a cake tin with a metal tube in the middle to help it rise high.
Drenched in a succulent chocolate glaze, with an airy texture and simmering flavors of coconut ginger, even to this day itโs a ravishing and unforgettable finish to your meals.
Coconut Cream Pie
Image source: ‘Triple-Threat Coconut Cream Pie. by Pillsbury Kitchens in pillsbury.com.
If you love pies, this one just got added to your list! Just think of it as a Samoa cookie in pie form. Itโs easy pat-in rich grainy crust, fills-in old fashioned coconut cream and is topped with a fluffy meringue. Sporting airy texture and out-of-this-world coconut-ginger flavor, itโs a delightful end to meals each time, every time.
Whensoever you need an impressive potluck worthy dessert for a special occasion, turn to this one! Creamy and full of coconut flavor all confined within a delicious crust and topped with fresh whipped cream; itโs always a hard to resist favorite.
Bonus: Torch it, for even more drama!!
Classic finger buns
If there is one baked treat from 50s that could stir up nostalgia from childhood days, it is Finger buns aka iced buns. A sweet staple from Aussie bakeries, these yeasted buns, filled with raisins and coated with pink ice cream and desiccated coconut was every childโs idea of slice of heaven on plate. Made from enriched dough, the soft and fluffy delights were somewhat similar to French Brioche but were less buttery.
Up-market versions these days go all out and use a mix of raisins and dried currants. Even dried sour berries and cranberries find preferences sometimes. But make no mistake! these buns are popular for one good reason. The combination of fluffy sweet, sticky bread bun laced on the top with a thick layer of butter cream icing and a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar, is a celebration of flavors; once and always!
From potluck pies and box cakes of 50โs to cake pops and liquid nitrogen desserts of 90โs to trendy delights of this century, our preferences for sweet course have changed hugely. Yet desserts from bygone times continue to trigger some of the sweetest, happiest food related memories. If or not you grew up in the middle of the last century, as I did and feel some nostalgia stirring within when it comes to desserts, then perhaps you are curious to know which desserts had caught everybody fancy then. What fascinations romanticized platters and caught every familyโs attention as they sat together for a quaint meal each day and finished it with a delicious fun filled sweet? Answers are many, but few are worthy of a rally. There wasn’t much of a health craze then, but home cooks from the 1950s had created some delicious treats that never lost their appeal and many are still around today. From Peeps to Peanuts M&M to Chocolate and Root beer Dumdums; every authentic bunch of desserts has earned a comeback. For me, these were certainly some sweet discoveries that debuted in the best decade of all times.
So sit back after a dinner soirรฉe, relax and enjoy them. This is your moment for a fun-filled time travel to fantastic fifties with wobbly, gooey, frozen, silky wonders; all reborn with a twist!
From warm, moist and cinnamon flavored waffles topped with Nutella or Belgian pearl sugar to soft and spongy, melt in the mouth gulab jamunโฆ is there anything better?
Like everybody else, a warm lazy day to me means hanging out and lots of outdoor eating. Guess I might find it easy to throw in a few sandwiches together or fire up the grill or dream of juicy BBQ meats and grilled veggies at tabletop spreads, but like everybody says, the best part of a meal comes at the end!
This is when the sweet tooth begins to throb! It’s time to break out tubs of chilly homemade ice cream or indulgent cakes layered with fresh seasonal fruit! But more lip smacking options are equally tempting!!! From delicious green tomato pie and flavorful strawberry shortcakes that would look gorgeous on any table, to an icebox cake, a fruit-filled pie or even jello with toppings of fresh fruits like strawberries, cherries and peaches, all would seemingly make any backyard BBQ feel timeless. Abundance of choice is bewildering.
A classic comfort food always brings a delicious end to every meal. If you ever get stuck up with options for something sugary yet healthy, donโt despair! There are several taste easy and quick desserts to slake your sugar rush. Cool, innovative and plumb delightful, these fat-easy guilt free cakes, shakes, ice-creams, sorbet or waffles are so utterly delicious that you wouldn’t even know they were healthy if not told!
But should you be quitting calorie tracking before indulging? Is sugary binge so frightening after all? We all know itโs not sustainable long term but for waist watchers every bite matters! Letโs find out if this food freedom talk is anything but a weary prop!
If only you could ace binging: Easy and healthy!!
How would you know if your occasional overindulgence is not a serious binging issue? Itโs likely that you may find isolated runs as normal but binge eating is something that needs to be watched over. More than food, itโs your changing mindset that could make you ditch your diet plans.
Of course, all of us are mindful enough to listen to our bodies and recognize when it is enough. Keep tabs though. It helps; but everything about it is simply exhausting. Stop or miss it even for a day and the scales become alive and threaten!
Eventually your ability to trust yourself turns punishing enough and would push you to eat much. This is when you need to stop. Donโt let counting calories turn into an obsession. Learn to live with yourself. Usually the weight that you eye or envy is always thinner than what your body wants to be. Besides, if you donโt binge with so many trigger foodsaround you and keep tracking calories, then itโs not worth it. Itโs neither healthy for your body nor your mind. So, just let the fun happen. Life is just too short to miss it.
And desserts are desserts!! Itโs never over till you have sunk your teeth in someโButter daintiesโ or that timeless classic โTiramisuโ or a deliciously inventive and iconic Kheer, or that unforgettable fresh and thirst-quenching ‘Lemon semifreddo.โSocial eating or not, these delectable summery treats would make anybody happy. You just cannot go wrong with these simple heavenly delights.
Tiramisu
Feature credits: ‘ Tiramisu Cake’ by Nino’s home in youtube.com on Oct.17, 2020.
Literally meaning โcheer me upโ or โpull me up,โ tiramisu is a timeless classic no-bake coffee flavored patisserie that has sponge cake ladyfingers soaked in coffee and liqueur and the mascarpone cream layer. Lady Fingers are essentially sponge cake batter piped into strips then baked and dried into biscuits. Also known as โsavoiardiโ these absorb the syrup well without getting soggy. Absolutely perfect for a dessert plate!
Mascarpone is essentially the Italian version of whipped cream cheese, stabilized with lemon juice or citric acid. Smooth in consistency and mildly flavored, this cheese though has twice as much fat as cream cheese.
Blending the bold flavors of cocoa and espresso with savory mascarpone cheese and wine and layered with ladyfinger biscuits, this dessert is a lavish display of forgiving ingredients and unforgettable flavor combinations.
Try it for once and much the same way like English trifle, you may not wait for another time to dig in this treat again!
Blackberry cheesecake
Image source: ‘Vegan, No bake Blackberry Cheesecake’ by Eva in thehealthytart.com
Blackberry cheesecake is essentially a creamy vanilla cheesecake with a hint of lemon in it. With swirls of fresh blackberry sauce, it is baked on golden Oreo cookie crust. The baked cheesecake makes for a perfectly healthy dessert because of its star ingredient- the blackberry. Low on carbs, the sweet blackberry sauce topping paired with the rich cheesecake filling takes the flavors beyond delicious! Still looking for a twist!
Just swirl the luscious blackberry sauce and add crunch with a scattering of honeycomb. Or simply try with fresh blackberries and clotted cream.
There are so many versions of blackberry cheesecake. Crust comes topped with syrupy blackberries before filling is poured. Blackberries are baked right into the filling itself. A strained blackberry puree โis added to the filling to create a beautiful purple masterpiece. Swirls of blackberry puree make lovely designs on the top of the cake and turns this treat irresistible. Even the no-bake version with a crunchy biscuit base all covered in a delicate cheese cream and garnished with sweet and fresh blackberries will get you hooked to this delight.The ploy to keep you buried in this delight is simply awesome and thick!
Lemon semifreddo
Image source: ‘Lemon and yogurt semi freddo’ in realfood.tesco.com.
If youโre looking for a fresh, thirst quenching dessert, this fragrant and delicate yet simple Italian inspired dessert is the perfect sweet treat for you.
Semifreddoย is an Italian word meaning โhalf cold.โ Light and airy with a texture ofย mousse, this frozen layered terrine is an ideal dessert that is so easy to pull out, slice, and serve. Traditionally made by heating sugar to 248 degrees F. (this is when the sugar turns firm and flexible), then whisked into egg and finally folding the egg white mixture into whipped cream, semifreddo could also be made by using the French meringue method of simply whisking sugar into egg whites. Both inspire the same goodness.
Want to try something that comes with a twist! Light chewy meringue, crumbled into luscious whipped cream, lemon curd and Greek yogurt is a classic dish amongst the semi frozen desserts. Laced with a drizzle of honey and few fresh berries, this lush creamy โhungry for moreโ eat has an intensely lemony flavor and is super refreshing.
And donโt confuse it with ice cream. They are similar but different too! Ice cream is frozen first and then air is pushed in, whereas semifreddo is whisked first and then frozen which makes it feel like half frozen.
Matcha Green Tea Frozen Yogurt
Itโs the frozen yogurt that shines better than ice cream and sorbet! The Matcha Green Tea Frozen Yogurt is stuffed with antioxidants and protein, made only with natural ingredients, is vegan and claims a modest 277 kcal for each serve (half cup). Packed with irresistible flavors, this exotic super food is a sure way to keep your days supercharged!
Matcha is the fine grounded tea leaves that speeds up your metabolism. The teaโs natural buzz makes this frozen dessert a natural energy booster. Heavy on green tea flavor, the vanilla vodka is optional if you want it to be soft and velvety. An awesome healthy alternative to ice-cream, you can devour it as flavored yoghurt too! Try honey vanilla flavored yogurt if you prefer mild.
Gelato
Image source: ‘The Easiest Homemade Strawberry Gelatoย ‘ by Gemma Stafford in biggerbolderbaking.com on Jun. 11, 2020.
Walk around any upscale business district and youโre bound to pass faces buried deep in creamy, frozen desserts, unaware that when it comes to eating healthy, itโs better to skip dessert or may be reserve a slice of Banana Split for cheat days. But probably everybody seems to have found out which dessert works best for them. Lower calorie ice creams and frozen yogurt treats like gelato have run rogue and are hot favorites now.
Although it is difficult to tell the difference from a distance, both ice cream and itโs more densely flavored cousin- Gelato, are quite distinct. Made with a base of 3.25% whole milk and sugar, gelato has fewer calories, less sugar and lower fat content per serving than ice cream. A typical 3.5 oz. serving of vanilla gelato contains 90 calories and 3 grams of fat, compared to 125 calories and 7 grams of fat in vanilla ice cream. Much silkier and less denser than ice cream, gelato comes in an array of flavors that include raspberry, pistachio, rum, and chocolate usually packing flavors from natural sources.
So, should you be breaking out your spoons now? Not so fast! gelato has a much lower fat content of around 4โ9% but packs more sugar than ice cream and often use of real fruit or fruit juice increases the carbs . Since it is a fairly dense, calories stack up fast. Be wary! portion control is a must if youโre on a crash diet and yet want to dig in! Low fat ice cream could soothe your cravings but if you are a fan of flavors, a small serve of gelato is just great. It wonโt wreck your diet plans and Probiotics in yogurt will have some pay-offs for your health too.
Belgian waffle
Alone and have a sudden rush for dessert! Try Belgian waffle or better still a Nutella waffle. This deep pocket sugary treat is simply delicious!! Coming straight out of Belgian street food fame books, this buttery treat tastes best when eaten warm and topped with powdered sugar or Nutella. Crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside, Belgian waffles are reckoned a brunch superstar. Cooked in a hot griddle with a grid pattern, the original Belgian version has bigger and deeper pockets than the regular ones which are a wee bit smaller in size. Sometimes the only difference between different types of waffles is the number of squares pressed. Light and fluffy, the authentic Liegewaffles are made with dough and include bits of caramelized Belgian pearl sugar. Try them with maple syrup or fruit and be shocked with a delicious tsunami of flavors.
Gulab Jamun
Image source: ‘Gulab Jamun Recipe’ by TNN in recipes.timesofindia.com on Jun.2, 2021.
While some of you might not want to change their lifestyle or say โYesโ to clean eating fearing it would mean giving up your favorite foods; desserts make things even harder.
Saying goodbye to your favorite foods has never been so easy. And I have to say, it definitely is not a small compromise. Fortunately you need not always be into fray to eat healthy. All you should do is opt for real, whole ingredients and adjust your favorite portions a little bit not to go overboard. And this definitely applies to desserts that quickly add up the calories. But then there are a few exceptions that are deliciously healthified.
Soft and spongy, gulab jamun is one such melt in the mouth desert made from milk solids that are reduced to the consistency of soft dough. Shaped into small balls, fried and then dunked in delicately flavored sugar syrup mixed with cardamom and rose water, it is a lip smacking insight to flavors of traditional Indian desserts, every time you dig in. Be wary though of how much of it you can polish off. Flavors do not betray calories!
Garnished with nuts such as almonds and served hot, each ball of gulab jamun contains about 125 calories. Of this carbs are 90 calories, proteins about 9 and remaining 25 calories come from fat. In fact each serve of 2 pieces provides about 6 % of daily calorie requirement of a standard adult diet of 2000 calories. So watch out for this silky sweet dessert before it makes a kill of your diet plan !!
Lamington
Image source: ‘Lamington Cake’ by Kristina Vanni in thespruceeats.com on Sep.29, 2020.
An ode to classic Aussie cooking, these dessert squares consist of butter cake or yellow sponge cake coated in chocolate sauce and then rolled into coconut flakes. The thin mixture when absorbed into the outside of the sponge cake and left to set, gives the dessert a distinctive texture. Cut into small squares, this white cake delicacy is dipped in a sweet chocolate frosting and then dunked in dried coconut flakes. It would often remind you of a chocolate and coconut covered cake doughnut that has been crafted into a delightful masterpiece. Even its namesake Lord Lamington -Governor of Queensland from 1896 – 190l, would have been at his wits end had he foreseen how popular these dessert bites were to become.
Kheer (Indian rice pudding)
Image source: ‘Rice Kheer | Indian Rice Pudding (6 ingredients, gluten-free)’ in honeywahtscooking.com on Oct. 19, 2020.
The sweet and creamy cardamom scented Indian rice pudding often served as delicious side dish or dessert โ hot or cold, owes its richness to a thick and creamy base of whole milk that has been reduced to half during the preparation of this decadent treat.
Kheer, also called Rice payasam, is one peculiar dessert that traces back its history to many different cultures. Mexicans have Arroz con Leche, Lebanese call it Moghli, and the Greeks have come out with a similar dish, rizogalo. The English have their own version of this dish and call it porridge.
So flavorful and yummy, the rice pudding first originated during Tudor period in United Kingdom with the recipe first documented in 1615. Variations over the period and regions however all agree on key ingredients rice, milk, cream, and sugar though differ in flavoring and techniques involved.
Rice pudding is at best one of the most underrated desserts. So, how it is made insanely irresistible? The secret is combining it with chia pudding, a staple thatโs good for gut and is filled with healthy fats and proteins. Here it makes the rice pudding give you a stick-to-your-ribs satisfaction without being at all heavy. The mix of rose, pistachio, and cardamom add the rich yummy flavor combinations.
Fresh Pumpkin Ice Cream
Image source: ‘Pumpkin Ice Cream’ by Makinze Gore in delish.com on Sep. 11, 2019.
Whoever said low-calorie desserts are not as good as regular ones, has probably never tried fresh pumpkin ice cream. Full of warm pumpkin flavors and just the right amount of richness, this one could be your pick of a spot-on creamy, sweet and delicious dessert. Itโs amazing how a cup of canned unsweetened pumpkin pureeโ with all the toasty flavors of pumpkin pie in a chilly ice cream, could turn into a perfect fall themed clean-eating dessert with prep time of 15 minutes only.
Vegan, dairy-free, and gluten-free, this is the dream ice cream for all the pumpkin spice fans. With 158 kcal per serve (125 gms), this ice cream needs little garnishing though a grating of cinnamon stick would make a smart gig and add a bit more of spicy oomph. Drizzle of pumpkin shake with milk, maple syrup and bourbon and toppings of warm butter-pecan sauce or candied pepitas (pumpkin seeds) add some zest to the dish.So dig into a scoop of pancakes or waffles topped with this mushy ice cream and swoon over a decadent brunch!
Peach Ice Cream
Peach Ice Cream is one summertime classic after eat, that has so often bowled over even the most impassioned food critique. Rich, creamy and so luscious, the peaches make it take on a deeper, richer flavor and become even sweeter. Roasted and cooled down before being added to the mix makes it easier to eat pieces of peach in the ice cream.
Yet another variant has maple syrup blended in to deepen the flavor. This actually enhances the flavor of peaches without tasting like if maple syrup has been added to it. Coming together in a matter of minutes without spending a lot of time prepping it, this vegan, gluten free goes easy with the calories at 87 kcal per serve.
Lemon Blueberry Sorbet
Image source: ‘Blueberry Sorbet’ by Elise Bauer in simplyrecipes.com on Feb. 10, 2021.
Try this super easy, low-sugar, and perfect Lemon Blueberry Sorbet to muzzle your sweet craving. A delightful treat with great fruity taste minus the extra calories and refined sugars, this blend of wild Maine blueberries, lemon juice, zest and water, turn the sorbet into a wrap up of refreshing, light, any time dessert for health freaks. If you want a dessert option with still lesser calories than 98 kcals standard, try the one with a drizzle of honey. Lemons on the other hand add a bit of tartness and complete the whole flavor profile.
And for all we know, blueberries do wonders to our health. So, all you need is to grab a spoon and dig in!
Raspberry Sorbet
Image source: ‘Raspberry Sorbet’ in bhg.com.
Raspberry sorbet is a great option when you crave for a dessert but have no appetite for processed sugars and fats in traditional desserts. Made with raw honey, raspberries, lemon juice and water, this sorbet is one light, refreshing frozen treat that makes for one of the best easy healthy dessert.
Raw honey for added sweetness or lemon juice for a little pop of flavor add punch to this fruity upgraded version of a fruit snack. And using good, fresh raspberries full of pectin make all the difference! A great choice, this fruit makes for a yummy, creamy, and almost ice-cream like delightful sorbet.
Chocolate Banana Ice Cream
Feature credits: ‘Healthy 3 Ingredient Chocolate Banana Ice Cream’ by The Endless Meal in youtube.com on July 07, 2018.
Do you ever want a sweet treat but couldnโt without feeling guilty about eating it? This chocolate banana ice cream is just what could be the right choice for you. When it comes to healthy dessert options, I donโt think it gets any easier than this chocolate banana ice cream. Outrageously flavorful, this in fact is not really an ice cream; itโs a faux ice cream. With 2 simple ingredients and 110 kcals for 2 serves (0.5 cup each), this ice cream is definitely a health dream. The consistency is very similar to ice cream but it doesnโt contain dairy or sugar. When ripe frozen bananas and cocoa powder are blitzed together until smooth, you get to taste a creamy, guilt-free, scrumptious frozen treat. Besides, itโs gluten-free and vegan!
Raspberry Lemon Chia Cheesecake
Feature credits: ‘Raspberry cheesecake’ by Thy Than in youtube.com on May 07, 2021.
Just because you are in a healthy lifestyle or a cleansing detox doesnโt mean that you have to let go the desserts form your daily eats. Merely be a little wiser in your choices and there is no dearth of ways to slake your sugar rush without harming your health goals.
Besides, the good news is that are a host of dessert options that are healthy. You might say that what is healthy need not necessarily be good in taste and healthy ones usually do not taste as good as the unhealthy ones. But for once, I beg to differ. A bite of this nutritious scrumptious cheesecake will make you think twice.
With a nut-date base, cashew and coconut milk filling and raspberry chia jam topping, this dessert is your perfect rescue for healthy eating. And need you be reminded of how chia does wonders to our health? Pick this dessert when you crave for something sweet and you are good to go. Trust me; you wonโt get overdosed with sugar either!
Feature credits:’20 best desserts around the world’ by the crazy trips in youtube.com on Jun.20,2019.
While it’s amazing no matter where you have it, desserts differ from country to country. Some are light and fruity, some rich and chocolaty. From Japan’s mochi to Poland’s poppy seed rolls, each has the punch to muzzle any sweet tooth.
Letโs face itโsooner or later you too could be hit with that craving for something sweet. So, take a moment here to wax some admiration for those simple healthy desserts where sugar does not make the overkill!
It may be difficult to find a perfect classic dessert for your fancied sweet blast, but these ones are pretty close. Few are though served drizzled with sugar, honey or maple syrup, often dunked in chocolate sauce or where even yogurt is rather set aflame with vanilla vodka. If you find them deep on calories, you might want to be careful to have your pick and get it served with a whirl.
Whateverโฆget your back with a few of these jaw dropping healthilicious desserts to slake your sugar rush and spare yourself a knock -over in Jacobโs feast!
Find out what bedevils your quest and learn how to get that twinkle-toed happiness back in your life.
We humans are complex life forms in a beautiful way. Put us in an intimate, passionate relationship and that seductive crush gets all hyped-up. We reckon awareness and acceptance as thumb prints and adore the quest for happiness, better still; most desirable. Perhaps spending more time with our kinds, getting a more fulfilling and secure job, or even improving our health is the reason we consider happiness a worthy pursuit. After all, being happy feels good. But do we build our lives on that reasoning alone?
Feature credits:’ Happiness with nature’ by Vigorswitch in youtube.com on Aug. 26, 2020.
Deep inside, we all treasure a fascinating tale of lifestyle and feelings, raring to be heard and appreciated. In fact, looking for an opportunity to engage and be recognized for that distinct wharf of ours, nourishes and strengthens us or at times weakens breaks or crushes us. Perhaps maximizing happiness is the only reason, we chase it. Still perceptions bump and make it so easy for us to get sad or depressed.
You think of yourself as a frightful and appalling person
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. You may wish for a better life; maybe much better of it. But it is not always perfect for you. Sufferings turn ugly once you mentally label them as a bad situation. The emotional trauma that follows cuts you off from the vigour of life. So, once you get mired neck deep in a miserly spot that sucks, your downhill spiral begins, howsoever much you shout to the World that you are perfect and the best.
This however, doesnโt mean that you throw your hands in the air and let that moment pass by when you could reach out and grab happiness. You can still be contented and happy. Just let go of that dreary thought of โIf only I was richerโฆ if only I was thinnerโ and so on. Accept yourself with utmost honesty the way you are and you will give others 10 reasons to envy you. Once the clouds of denial are gone, the magic of acceptance and contentment will unfold in your life. Just be the true rendition of self improvement and learn to love yourself.
You have sucked your soul out for long
I have a friend who never tires of talking and in most conversations he is the only one who seems to be interested in things he has to say. So, people tend to avoid his company and maybe he knows how uncomfortable sometimes it becomes. But I find him one happy person who has shaken himself awake and enthused his perspective from negative to positive outlook. Next day he could be found talking nineteen to the dozen in another gathering! I think he see the things in his life as a glass that is half full rather than half empty, and never miss out on moments that tend to make him happy.
Happy or otherwise, we all have choice as to how we spend our live. Itโs our perspective that does the picking. Nothing changes for us unless we decide to take pleasure from life and live every moment as a blessing. We all know that our moods are fleeting and their causes uncertain but we also appreciate that a life spent experiencing happiness, is in some ways a good life. The concern though, is not what happiness means to you, but instead why it eluded you and how to get it.
We tend to see happiness as inconsistent to sadness or depression, suggesting that being happy means few woes and fewer regrets. If we remain contented to see the things in our life as a glass that is half empty, rather than half full, we tend to miss out on the opportunities that may be present around us. Not accepting challenges and considering them as bad consequences would never let you grow out of your miseries.
โUnhappy is he who depends on success to be happy,โ Alex Dias Ribeiro.
As successful as you are or hope to be in your life and work, be sure that you will find happiness only in things that are deeply ordinary; enjoying a walk or a conversation with a loved one or plucking turnips and tomatoes from kitchen garden. For few who worship hard work or strive to outperform, this may sound like an admission of defeat. But accepting things as they happen and facing challenges head on makes you find meaning in them and move forward. So, get interested; itโs time you started living with gusto and made the most of today.
โToday is lifeโ the only life you are sure ofโ.-Dale Carnegie.
You are yet to open up your mind and heart to life
Lately you have been torn up in your mind and heart. You have been questioning yourself quite uncomfortably. โAm I ill-mannered?โ, โDo I always sound argumentative?โ, โDo I talk too loud?โ, โDoes my breath smell?โ, โDo I ever bore others when in company?โ
Lending ears to comments and criticisms and not treating them with rejoinders like, โDonโt exaggerate! Thatโs just the way I am!โ opens up our minds and hearts for good. Itโs not how much we have in us but how much we appreciate for having it with us, rules our general state of happiness. After all life is made up of some great experiences and is a gift in our hands to nimble-toe through. Trust me; it makes the best out of inevitable for us. Each day shapes us and helps us to grow and change. So, get along, chose to be happy and live through every moment of life with grace and gratitude.
You are evasive to your โpresentโ
The desire to be happy is instinctive to human nature, though it flirts and fleets. Naturally evasive, happiness is not a bad thing any more than a wine is. Both bring fun and sweetness to life when positive events like winning a lottery, promotions or even something as little as a gift from someone close to your heart, ring sweet bells in your heart or goose bumps all over.
Like it or not, being โpresentโ for every moment shapes happiness for you. Your present is the moment where all reality is. The past is gone, the future is yet to arrive and the present is passing by. So, focus on living in and celebrating the present to the full. Live every moment of life as a blessing and you will have the greatest opportunity to experience happiness.
โWhen we are present and still and our minds are open, we will find that happiness is our natural state.โ-Dr. Robert Puff.
The world doesnโt fall apart, every time you get hit!!
While many for us would be relieved and happy to have survived the pandemic in 2021, for others the global scourge may have caused stress meltdown and severe sufferings. The world for them would have felt like itโs upside downโliterally.
We all know that anguish is an inevitable consequence of being alive. But if minimizing distress can bring happiness, it gets important to get hold of your emotional health. At least, if you canโt control it, you will always have the control over how to guard it!
Everyone experiences situations gone wrong one time or the other, but not everyone treats it in the same way. Of course, feeling stressed out sucks. It leaves you with two choicesโlet it suffocate you or bring the change and rewrite a new story. Remember life is a rollercoaster ride and stress will happen. So, master your sanity and good sense to ride through it. Feeling overwhelmed already? Itโs time you did some soul searching and refashioned your perspective. Here are five ways to know if you do overreact to all that happens around you and wouldnโt allow yourself to manage a happy disposition.
Happiness has many faces
Our past uncannily keeps us tied down in turmoil and sadness; we are wired like that. Negativity rules over us and at times it hurts, even when you get moments of happiness in between. No denying; if you experience it, you are hanging on to the grudges and resentment of the past and could not get rid of them. Or maybe you have come up against different kinds of happiness, which do not always go together. Having too much of happiness of one sort could spoil your ability to have enough space for other. For instance, you could be butting heads how to balance career and family all together and in turn could be equally unhappy in both lives. This could be significantly damaging to yourself and those around you.
Empathy is one buzzword though, that could help. As Sadhguru puts it, โwalk away from your past wiser, not woundedโ. A dire need for approval in the past has left you vulnerable and your fragile self esteem is weighed down. Your chances of experiencing happiness have vanished. So, declutter your past conflicts. Stay motivated and enjoy the life to the fullest; no matter what happens-good or bad. Help yourself to grow and change and chose to be happy. Of course, you cannot forget or wipe out your gloomy past but those very crises best increase your chances of success in pursuit to happiness.
โHappiness addictโ prefer being special over being successful
In short, keep moving with life and see it as a blessing than be damned. Enjoy it and have a whale of a time while you can. Unfortunate things happen sometimes, but so do some great things. Try not to react much to whatever is happening around you. Donโt grind yourself and be serious about how others sleep on it. You are just not being authentic or legit. Even to put on a show could ruin your chances to be happy. Live life like an adventure, Explore and plan it the way you want to. Sometimes you may even need to laugh at yourself.
Feature credits: ‘Relax with the beauty of natureโย by the Whole Happy Life in youtube.com on Mar.21,2020.
So smile as much as you can, laugh often, hang out with mates and above all just try not to be fussy or play ducks and drakes. Make the best of what you have and keep growing.
โDonโt take life too seriously. Youโll never get out of it aliveโ-Elbert Hubbard
Miss the bite of extravagance and you wouldnโt know the ultimate joy of filling up!!
Sometimes we all need delicious comfort food! Like when life gives you lemon, make lemonade. Or get some good comfort food! Or maybe both! Doesnโt it feel good to reach out to a yummy comforting meal after a long hard day and enjoy it? Perched up nice and cool in a refreshing restaurant or sitting cozy in your living room and enjoying food; doesnโt summery nights and delicious takeouts truly sum up the day with a punch of happiness?
Besides, thereโs nothing that a hot plate of comfort food canโt solve. Unwell, going through a bad break, work stress or just plain bad day? The aroma of freshly cooked veggie crumbles and sweet and spicy glazed mango sriracha or BBQ-flavored vegan waffle and naturally sweetened wholegrain brownie, all just make problems vanish away.
The knock out version of Asian food is a burst of bold flavors!
No more copy cat recipes!! Fun filled Asian cuisine come with a twist each time you reach out to them and are all full of hot ideas and inundating choices. From delicious bite size pizzas to chocolate croissants, itโs hard to tell if the โburger with the worksโis better than โPeanut BBQ sweet potato burger with avocadoโ. So, catch up with some iconic Asian dishes and discover if the Friends of Pho in Kolkata or Onceupon a bitein Dubai and Senn Thai Comfort Food in New York city orSoulFood Mahanakornin Watthana Bangkok could make you get hungry just looking at the photos and blow your senses over once eaten!
Though a cross kitchen between Tokyo and Texas or Shanghai and New Delhi is an obstinate possibility, upscale restaurants do treasure rundown menus from edgy cookbooks, full of diverse Asian comfort food recipes. There is Japanese-Peruvian cuisine; French patisserie, Mexican tacos, and many more crowd-pullers. From fancy take away beaneries to countless neighborhood stalls, all serve from spicy gravies, saucy noodles to legendary chicken or vegetable Manchurian and much more. With names as scrumptious as China Bowl, China Pearl, Chung Wahor Zhangs, these delights- usually batter fried and doused in chilli garlic sauce- are quintessentially soul satisfying comfort food that always come with a kick.
In Asian style cooking, simple elements like rice, noodles, fruits, and veggies are recast, blended with unique herbs and seasonings and reinvented into stunning dishes. From Japanese noodles to Chinese stir-fry to Indian naan, you just canโt run out of options for Asian-themed dines. So, spicing your weekday dinners and weekend pleasures with all things, here are the tastiest 15 such Asian comfort foods to instantly perk up your platter!
Asian Slaw
Crisp, colorful, and wildly delicious: the Asian slaw comes packed with bright vegetables laced with an insanely good sauce that would trump any other rival. Crammed with bright vegetables like shredded cabbage, carrots, edamame, bell peppers and peanuts and flavored with scallions and cilantro, this slaw comes with a dressing of a thick, sweet-savory spicy sauce and is a perfect medley of flavors and textures. Can you imagine all those elements in one bite?
Korean popcorn chicken
Image source: ‘ Korean Popcorn Chicken’ by Julie in tastemade.com.
If you are looking for a starter thatโs all fire and flavor, try this tangy, sticky and crunchy chicken popcorn inspired by the much hyped Korean street foodDakgangjeong and trust me, you just wonโt have enough of these crazy fireballs! Deep-fried boneless sticky and tangy, these chicken nuggets are bite-sized salvos thatโs all set to get you rolling! Made from boneless chicken fillet, this full-of-crackling food gets a typical Korean zing once tossed with tangy and spicy seasoning. The dripping hot sauce further amps up the heat and turns these super-crunchy balls into a fiery feast!
Chicken Noodle Soup
Image source: The Ultimate Chicken Noodle Soup’ in tasteofhome.com.
A truly work of art, this soup is a bowl of chewy noodles immersed in a steaming savory broth, topped with meats and veggies. An ultimate definition of classic Asian comfort food there couldnโt be a better way to spend a balmy evening than by having a bowl or two of chicken noodle soup.
If youโve never had it before, youโre in for a cozy surprise! A delicate mix of rice noodles, crisp veggies, and nutty peanut sauce, this soup is an insanely good dish. It is not only about noodles cabbage, carrots and bell peppers that unfold the magic. The wizardry lies in the sauce. Thick, perfectly sweet, spicy and wonderfully nutty, this sauce is an ultimate count in finger-licking good indulgence! Bites of tender chicken, bok choy, rice noodles, cilantro, basil, lime juice and flavors of curry and coconut make this dish a perfect must-try deal.
Wonton Soup
Image source: ‘Red curry chicken wonton soup’ by Tara in tarasmulticulturaltable.com on Sep.7, 2020.
Getting tire of buffalo wings? How about a bowl of steaming Wonton soup loaded with silky flavors of seasoned chicken broth with filled wantons to ward off your worries!! An Asian equivalent of ravioli or tortellini, wontons are dumplings made with ground meat wrapped in a dumpling wrapper and steamed until cooked and tender. Served with hot broth, just one spoonful can quickly turn that frown upside down. If youโve never have had them before, now is the time!
Gado Gado
A traditional Indonesian salad of mildly boiled, blanched or steamed veggies like carrots, red cabbage and hard boiled eggs, fried tofu, tempeh and lontong(which is a dense rice cake wrapped inside a banana leaf. Rice is rolled inside a banana leaf and boiled, then cut into small cakes as a replacement of steamed rice). Served along with a thick spicy nutty peanut sauce, the real tweak happens when sweet potato is used in place of carrots and green beans are switched for red cabbage. Since the salad is rice-based, itโs hearty and a full meal on its own. Build mainly on cooked veggies and meatless proteins with toppings like prawn crackers, this food is a super quick way to satisfy your craving.
Volcano Fries
Topped with spicy mayo, green onion, and a bit of seaweed, volcano fries is a sensory overload one cannot resist. Served with a generous topping of gooey cheese, crispy chicken cubes and sauce, sprinkled with Cheetos (cheese puff snack) โ itโs a dish your nutritionist may frown upon, but trust me, every bite is a journey to heaven and back. With toppings of kani (crab meat) and seaweed salad, scallions, sriracha (fermented hot sauce) and Japanese mayo, the dish turns fiercer but you just shouldnโt get yourself cut loose without trying this one most indulgent food.
Crispy tofu broccoli stir fry
Feature credits: ‘Crispy tofu broccoli stir fry’ in myfoodstory.com on Nov. 16, 2020.
This 20 minutes stir fry dish is the perfect mix of protein and vegetables. Try it with quinoa when you want something light or with noodles if you want something hearty! Stir fried crispy tofu and fresh veggies like broccoli and spinach sautรฉed in a quick and easy garlic sesame sauce, give this dish all the markings of an easy and healthy food that you can turn to again and again. With firm and flavorful tofu, fresh and colorful veggies all drenched in just enough sauce to coat the tofu and broccoli so that crunchiness stays intact; this salty savory dish is one comfort food that you can always tag to your bucket list!
Vegan Cheesesteak sandwich
This vegan sandwich with mushrooms smothered in gooey cheese sauce creates a whole food that brings you a great taste, some protein and a great texture; all in 20 minutes. A low-calorie, easy to make mushroom cheesesteak sandwich is all you need when your sandwich craving hits the ceiling. Mimicking the meat base, slices of Portobello mushroom sautรฉed with a thicket of peppers and onions, then tucked into a toasted roll and drenched with a bit of melted provolone, mark it as a great vegetarian dish that wouldnโt decimate your diet plan. Eat this for seven days a week and you could still end up thinner than when you started. What more, you don’t even have to be a vegetarian to enjoy it!
Scallion Pancake
Feature credits: ‘kitchenstories.com.
Crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside and wonderfully savory all over, scallion pancakes are a popular food that has a crispy, flaky texture and is a new twist on regular pancakes. Made out of an unleavened flatbread and stuffed with scallions or green onions or spring onions, cilantro and sesame, these pancakes are truly addictive. Crispy, flaky, and with the *slightest* bit of chew, when served with a hot and spicy dipping soy sauce, it’s easy to polish off a whole plate of this treat in no time.
Biryani
Celebrating or just lazing! With over 50 different varieties, biryani is one superfood that has never let anybody down. The combination of meat, rice and spices is unmatched and unparallel. Long-grained rice flavored with fragrant spices such as saffron and layered with lamb, chicken, fish, or vegetables and thick gravy is then slow cooked in a Deg (special cookware) with lid secured with dough, preferably on a wooden stove to blend smoky flavors. Itโs wholesome and starkly distinct from other fancy gourmet dishes. But what you can be sure of is that each variant is delicious in its own way. So, next time when youโre craving for fancy meals, just go for it. Having a taste of this comfort food will tell a story beyond words can. This stuff is seriously addictive!
Nasi Goreng
Traditionally served on banana leaves, this Indonesian street food is an easy and convenient way to truly satisfy and warm up your soul. With extra cooked rice stir fried with meat and addons like shallot, dark soy sauce and fragrant spices, make it a munchies delight. The real hit of flavour comes from the sambal sauce which is made by cooking garlic, shallots, chilies and shrimp paste in oil and then hand-grinding them to a fragrant and aromatic paste. Crushed anchovies and sugar then pitch in to create a delicious balance of salt and sweet. Itโs a perfect take out call if you want to experience other peopleโs out of the ordinary comfort food.
Feature credits: ‘How To Make Nasi Goreng At Home’ by Banglar Rannaghor in Youtube.com on Nov. 6, 2020.
Teriyaki chicken
Image source: ‘ Chicken Teriyaki’ by Lena Abraham in delish.com on Jun.3,2021.
An awesome 30 minute recipe, this dish is here to change the way you fancy quick meals! Juicy tender pieces of chicken glazed in sweet and savory teriyaki sauce and served with steamed rice and assorted vegetables make up for a complete meal, one that you need to eat to experience the unparallel satisfaction. When sake and mirin are switched in the traditional teriyaki sauce for rice vinegar, toasted sesame oil and ginger, an iconic food is all set for you to catch up and make yourself a happy person.
Cashew chicken noodles
Image source: ’15-minute chicken, broccoli and cashew stir-fry’ by Emma Braz in taste.com.au.
Loaded with broccoli, bell peppers, zucchini, cashews and crispy chicken, this is an unmistakable call on your takeout. Simple, flavorful and delicious, one bowl of cashew chicken noodles is the perfect 30 minute fix for your take-out cravings. With crispy bits of chicken and noodles tossed in a super flavorful, spicy sauce and topped off with roasted cashews, this is just the kind of meal for you when you are hungry and in the mood for something out of ordinary.
Then there is nothing better than a sugary treat to finish off the meal, for your belly might be on fire for it. Here is one genius of a dessert that the world has just begun to catch up and once you try it youโd know why everybody calls it a super dessert.
Kulfi Falooda
Feature credits: Hebbars Kitchen in Youtube.com on Mar.8, 2021.
Seriously for me, kulfi over ice cream- any day! Creamy kulfi is one delicious dessert that will leave you wanting for more. Made with simple ingredients, this eggless cardamom flavored, nutty and super creamy ice cream also has other variants such as saffron, mango, rose, pistachio, almond, orange and strawberry. It is usually made by slow boiling of milk till it reduces considerably and then sweetened, flavored and frozen in small earthen pot molds known an โMatkiโ.Itโs most uncommon to find this delight served in scoops like ice cream. Thickening agents like corn starch or bread crumbs give it still more creamier consistency. Served with brightly colored moist falooda (vermicelli noodles made from starch) and rose syrup, this sweet, icy cold, crunchy rich delicious dessert is here to enslave you and will soon become your go-to-kulfi dessert every time you get ready for a perfect comfort food.
From Momos to Chicken lollipops to spicy Papadams! From hot and sour soups, fiery Korean popcorn bites, crispy and tangy stir fries to gorgeous teriyaki chicken, the love for good food is universal. Mouth watering sauces, spicy schezwan magic, flavorful Asian noodles and no fuss crispy vegetarian food, the list of incredible Asian vegetarian bites has everything.
Itโs time you gave your takeouts an Asian twist and experience the ย flavors that will knock your socks off!!
โLife is uncertain.ย Eat dessert firstโ.-Ernestine Ulmer
Image source: ‘Best desserts in London’ in visitlondon.com.
When you talk about street food you could just think of the main course alone; all from gourmet burgers, wood-fired pizza, fish tacos. However, street food is lot more than this. There is a whole range of delicious street food desserts on offer, to satisfy your sweet tooth. Old classics such as ice cream still rule, but there are some epic desserts that could enslave you like never before!
Much more unique than a typical wedding cake, street desserts are delectable, made all fresh, are healthy and take you on one helluva of culinary journey. From cookies, muffins, brownies, granola, cakes and come summer, delicious, sugar-free, gluten-free mango cakes, puddings and tartlets filled with healthier ingredients like almond flour, coconut flour, nuts and seeds- these show stoppers top the menu chart across small restaurants and street side eateries. If you ever feel the need to treat yourself without having to worry about which way your belly button goes, just dig into the unsung flavors of street side desserts! The chocolate sorbet on the road side could be just as delicious, super rich yet completely sugar free and vegan. And what of orange sponge cake with dark chocolate mousse or low calorie cheesecake with nutty crust! Delicious and sugar free, full of aromatic spices, topped with pistachios or soaked in rose syrup, there are plenty of insanely good delights that could become your best snap eats if you are good at exploring flavors.
So, if you are looking for some dessert ideas and want something different than the usual, here are 15 incredible lip-smackingly good healthy street desserts that dig small in the pocket and definitely are not a diet disaster. Just be ready to get blown away by the blasts of flavors.
Mango sticky rice
In this popular street food dessert, sweetened coconut milk flavors the sticky rice, which is then served with fresh mango; a refreshing take on the traditional Thai treat. Mango toppings on the rice, drenched with delicately salted coconut sauce and a sprinkle of sesame seeds, this addictive Thai dessert is a unique twist to enjoy fresh mangoes. When served with some more of coconut ice-cream, it adds to that extra indulgence. Try this gluten-free, vegetarian, and vegan love-at-first-bite kind of easy peasy ripe mango dessert on any occasion!If you havenโt done so far and anyone tells you its awesome, you can certainly believe them!
Thai roti
Image source: ‘Thai Banana Pancakes (Banana Roti)’ by Pailin Chongchitnant in hot-thai-kitchen.com on Nov. 30, 2018.
Thai roti or pancake is similar to a crepe and is highly addictive. Paper thin, crunchy, crispy and topped with sweetened condensed milk and sugar, Thai rotis are a foodieโs every time delight. The combination of crispiness, sweetness and saltiness is enchanting. But the evolution doesnโt stop just at crispy frying, though it is a bit intimidating to stretch and cook such a thin flatbread and then griddle fry it. Quite forgiving in calories, its variant includes Nutella or jam filling, fresh fruit, cheese or even pizza toppings. The trick is to get the bread as thin as possible, which when fried and served with banana, chocolate sauce or condensed coconut milk and a sprinkle of cinnamon, turns this flaky street treat crazy enough to disarm you.
Egg Waffle
Egg waffle, sometimes called egg puff, eggette or bubble waffle, is a popular delicacy that is visually puffy with a pullapart texture. Made out of egg white and yolk, milk, butter, sugar, flour and salt, this tiny treat is made in special pans with small, round cell. The end result is a waffle with crisp edges and soft oval โeggsโ or โbubblesโ which can be easily broken off for snacking. Devoured plain or paired with fruit and different spreads, this seemingly unexceptional cheap street food dessert is crispy on the outside, and fluffy on the inside. The texture can best be described as a cookie and sponge cake hybrid. Have it served with a range of sauces and toppings such as dark chocolate or caramel sauce and whipped cream and you have a dessert that will muzzle your sweet tooth for good and yet is not off limits.
Carrot pudding
If youโre craving something sweet yet couldnโt resist a balanced diet, this is one treat that you must indulge in without worrying about your fitness needs. An awesome combination of carrots, nuts, milk, and sugar, this dessert is a mega source of beta carotene. Mimicking the butterscotch pudding, this yummy dessert tastes heavenly when served hot with condensed milk and serves best when accompanied with a cup of masala tea. Decadent, flavorful and ranking high on health index, this vegan, paleo, grain free and light dessert is exorbitantly satisfying.The golden hues of this rich, warm and nutritious dish made from baby carrots, will make your heart melt, just like that.
Rice pudding (Kheer)
Image source: ‘Rice Kheer | Indian Rice Pudding (6 ingredients, gluten-free)’ in honeywhatscooking.com on Oct. 19, 2020.
Most interesting in terms of flavors, texture and appeal, this dish only needs three simple ingredients: rice, milk, and sugar. Whole milk fares better for it renders the richest and creamiest consistency to the dessert. When flavored with additional spices, such as cardamom, rose water, saffron, and nuts, a flowery aroma and a tropical taste makes the dish mesmerizing. So, grab your spoons and dig in this yummy goodness. Served warm or cold, this deceptively delicious creamy rice kheer is easy to make and is a street side indulgence not to be missed. Go figure out for yourself and explore the lip smacking combination of simple staples that are so hard to resist!
Coconut ice cream
And who said ice creams were off limit for those on diet trip? Vegan and natural, the coconut ice cream is a hot favorite among those who wouldnโt settle for anything less than sonnets. An ode to the toasted coconut donut hole, this tender, luscious and creamy treat with a mild tropical flavor is a scoop that any coconut lover would jump at. Your penchant for crunch could be like no other, your taste for sweetness isโฆawesome, but this great non dairy dessert, made simply from coconut milk, sugar and salt and served in coconut halves with toppings of peanuts and chocolate sauce, will sway you for a sugary indulgence. An incredibly tasty experience from a creation as simple as this ice cream, it is unbelievable!!
Gulab jamun
Image source: ‘Gulab jamun’ in kesarwala.in.
Soft, spongy and melt in the mouth, this dessert is made from milk solids that are reduced to the consistency of soft dough. Shaped into small balls, fried and then drenched in delicately flavored sugar syrup mixed with cardamom and rose water, it is one such street food dessert that is adored by all age groups. Garnished with nuts such as almonds and served hot, itโs a lip smacking insight to flavors of traditional cuisine every time you dig in. Just be wary of going overboard though! The calories in this dessert add up quickly so if you are watching your weight, treat yourself with only small servings at a time. Usually a gulab jamun contains about 125 calories out of which carbs comprise of 90 calories, proteins about 9 and remaining 25 calories come from fat. One single serve in fact provides about 6 % of daily calorie requirement of a standard adult diet of 2000 calories. So just watch out how much you polish off as dessert!!
Kulfi Falooda
Associated with summery climate, this refreshing treat combines thin falooda (vermicelli noodles) and kulfi, a traditional ice cream made out of slowly simmered whole milk and then flavored with pistachio and saffron. The dish is often elevated with various addons like sweet basil seeds, jelly or rose water and garnished with crushed nuts.
A treat to beat the heat, kulfi falooda ranks high on a legendary reputation due to its distinct taste, texture and richness and is among the top ten desserts on the menus of traditional street restaurants. Newer versions like mango and strawberry with a pinch of cinnamon, resemble spiced nutty custard and are similar to regular ice creams but a wee bit thicker and creamier.
So before you dive into any other crazy stuff, try this one and you wonโt ever forget the heavenly taste of an unforgettable sin food!
Rasmalai
Image source: ‘ Rasmalai recipe’by Rachna’s kitchen in pinterest.com.
Melting right in the mouth, rasmalai is an explosive cheese dessert that tastes delicious, is simple. easy to make and involves a three-step process; from making chena (curded milk) discs, boiling them in sugar syrup, and then resting them in thickened milk. The secret to deliciousness lies in curdling the milk to right consistency right after it comes to a boil. This popular dessert shaves off about half the time it would take to make any other traditional dessert with similar silky texture. But no worries, your take is just as delicious with all the traditional ingredients like chena or paneer soaked in sugar, milk and spices like saffron and cardamom.
Banana cue
Image source: ‘Banana Cue’ in worldfood.guide.
If youโve never before tried this one, you are in for a surprise! This popular street food dessert is pretty easy to make and will muzzle any sweet tooth! The dish derives its name from the combination of the words banana and barbecue, though bananas are neither marinated nor grilled. Their similarity in visual appeal and use of skewers to serve, is what coins that term.
Peeled bananas once deep fried until golden brown all over, are generously coated in caramelized sugar and then skewered onto a bamboo stick for ease. A hot favorite amongst street food enthusiasts, it is a portmanteau of banana and barbecue and resembles golden brown meat cooked in a style similar to Satay. (A Southeast Asian dish of seasoned, skewered and grilled meat, served with a sauce.). Sold at street stands and enjoyed as a satisfying quick afternoon snack, this delicious, must try and irresistible dessert will ring of subtle flavors through every bite!
Roti Pisang
Image source: ‘sweet roti with sweetened condensed milk on top’ in 123rf.com.
A close cut to banana cue, this traditional street sweet also makes use of bananas as the star ingredient. The unleavened roti dough is stretched until thin, and then the mix of sliced bananas, eggs and sugar is wrapped in and pan-fried until golden brown. Served cut into bite-sized pieces that are dusted with sugar and drizzled with condensed milk, it tastes heavenly and is next-gen best dessert fad. A classic street food, roti pisang is a tempting sweet and filling snack. Full of aromas, topped with pistachios or soaked in rose syrup, this traditional Malayan dessert is here to light up your taste buds if youโre looking for exotic sweets to satisfy your craving!
Candied Apples
Nothing else would catch you eye like those glossy, red and sweet candied apples, also known as jelly apples, so irresistibly displayed on street side cart and patisserie across the street. If you still remember those shining red treats in a shop window or grocery store from your childhood days, you would know how a bite into this โhealthy snackโ feels like; perhaps the most exhilarating way to break a crunchy sugar shell coating of a nourishing snack! Some of these attitudes might have worn off as you grew up, but surely not on the appeal of the shiny exterior and crunchy contrast of candy and apple; so irresistible and mouth watering!!
Feature credit: kitchenstories.com.
Simply dipped into a red sugar coating tempered with hot cinnamon flavor that has reached hard crack stage, you can taste and experience a fairground classic street sin food that works so well with grownups and kids alike. Every bite of candied apple is like a little party in your mouth. Wrapped in plastic and tied with a ribbon, they make a perfect take-home favors, too.
Bionico
Image source: ‘My bionico -obsessed life’ by Nathan Solis in lataco.com on Feb. 15, 2018.
A popular Mexican street fruit parfait, bionico is essentially a cocktail of a variety of fruits, chopped into small cubes, drenched with creamy sauce and then topped off with granola, pecans, raisins, shredded coconut and sometimes honey. Try it!! Visually appealing and delicious you wouldnโt think of anything more summery and tropical than a bionico tossed in a mixture of yogurt, Pina Colada smoothie (a delicious tropical treat that tastes like pineapple and coconut. Texture resembles smoothie when blended) and chia seeds. When topped with granola and coconut, this street food beats all surprises. Few even prefer the combination of condensed milk, sour cream or yoghurt, instant coffee and vanilla. A great snack, you just couldnโt get any better than this of a street side dessert!!
Seviyan
Image source: ‘Vermicelli puddingย ‘ by Shazia in cookingwith shazia.com on Mar. 16, 2020.
A quick 20 minute dessert, seviyan is a perfectly creamy, delicious milk based dessert where primary ingredient is thin vermicelli; nothing like the regular one. The magic unfolds when whole milk, sugar, saffron, and roasted mixed nuts are mixed with it. Stirred well on low heat and then served once it pipes down, it turns into a delectable feast of flavors. Spices and toppings change hands as you like.
Kesari, closely resembling seviyan, is essentially lightly roasted broken vermicelli pieces that are slow cooked in milk and sugar and infused with cardamom, rose or saffron. A kesari parfait when laced with light creamy custard and layered with crunchy almonds and chewy raisins, orchestrates a symphony of flavors once served in glass. Ask for a dollop of custard as topping and this insanely good sin food would jack up your senses roof high!
Green Tea Honey Frozen Yogurt
Image source: ‘Paleo matcha green tea ice cream’ by Lauren Hood in pinterest.com.
If your idea of a fruit dessert is a can of packed fruits or a weary looking loaf of fruit cake, just take a moment off and think twice. Fruits are perfect in pie, work best when fresh and crunchy tucked away within layers of creamy cake or as a tasty topping on a crumb tart. And when combined with the right ingredients will satisfy any sugar fiend guilt free. Green tea honey frozen dessert is one such good bet. Easy to make, it has exactly the kind of flavor you would expect and is a tad lighter than traditional ice cream. A low key take on classic green tea matcha ice cream, this green tea and honey flavored frozen dessert is a surprisingly perfect summer treat. The honey and green tea do a great job of balancing all the flavors while the yoghurt packs a powerful protein punch that will see you through the day.
Feature credit: kitchenstories.com.
When you want to cut down on sugar and still get your dessert fix, thereโs a way to have the best of bonne bouche; from cakes and brownies to ice creams and cookies that use natural sweeteners or sugar replacements. All you need to do is believe and behave like the newlyweds for a while who do things a little differently. For once break away and think of treating yourself with the most indulgent and stunning but guilt free sweet street food and who knows this could be your special day! Donโt let those no bake no brainer organic, dairy and gluten free desserts fascinate you enough to bite let alone binge!! After all;
“Eating and living healthy is not always about punishment or sacrifice!!”
Image source: ‘5 Reasons Why Feeling Happy Depends on Your Viewpoint’ by Sally Stanleigh in bia.ca on Dec. 10, 2020.
That morning I woke up early. It was dark outside. The morning silence lay heavy. Crickets had stopped chirping and it was too early for the cock’s to cry out. Bleary eyed I peered closely at the bedside clock. It was 4.30 am. The weather already smelled of yet another hot summer day of May.
And then a fluttering noise startled me out of slumber! I propped up on the bed and strained to look for the source. There perching on the window sill and prancing around was my sweet little โangelโ-cuckoo.
For a moment, I sat spellbound. Itโs been almost a year since I last saw her in my courtyard frantically trying to troop in her two chicks, barely a month old; too agile to sit around, but too fragile to take care of themselves of their own. A flurry of thoughts woke me up nice and good. Outside the sky was beginning to pale as darkness slowly melted away.
Chores over, I sat in the veranda with a cup of tea in hand and wistfully gazed at the bird still perched atop the tree in the courtyard.
This time she was all alone!
Feature credits: Taryn Elliot in Pexels.com
Somehow she reminded me of my mom, hard gritty and courageous, always ready to face the world squarely. Vivid memories of life with her are as fresh as morning dew even today . She would often tell us that every man is a jack around you and won’t be in two minds to deluge you with advices on how to get the most of this world. But all this will be worthless if you do not respect your curiosity and give a patient listening to your gut instinct. Nine out of ten times people will laugh at you more to make you cringe with helplessness and feel small for it helps them to assume privileged and great. Simply put, these people cannot muster enough courage to get what they want out of life.
Itโs only years later after she is gone that I realize what she had meant then . The moment you let others stop you from pursuing your dreams, is the moment to say goodbye to them. Wish I had given an earful to what else she had to say at that time.
Much like the bird on the tree , she raised her siblings and bid everybody farewell when the time came. Its only after so many years that I could share a few more facts of life with you I wish I had accepted sooner. Everything would have been so easy!!
I agreed to approve of myself the way I was!
Image source: ‘Want to Enjoy Life? Don’t ‘Do What Makes You Happy” by Wanda Thibodeaux in inc.com
Whenever we are in a dark space emotionally, we naturally pick up a fight with ourselves and damn us for not being in control of things. Everything seems to spiral out of control and the more we push ourselves to straighten things up, the worse they become. On the contrary, when we feel okay and alive and kicking, we are more inclined to accept ourselves and appreciate the wonderful little things that life has given us and how terrific our body rewards us.
This made me realize that being successful is not about getting it done all the time. Its about getting right things done. Its about doing less but better. For once, I decided to befriend myself and felt proud of my achievements, no matter how tiny they were .
Essentially my perception of doing right things the right way changed all by itself. I just worked hard on bettering myself.
From moron to self indulgent: I found the impunity comforting!
Whether it is taking a long bath, scheduling morning leisure walks, following a regular sleep pattern or something as trivial as putting on a face mask, shaving or trimming the beard, or even watching our favorite movie, anything that we do to look good and feel good puts us on the right path; so’s how she would counsel me often in quieter moments, though she was always quick to add that self care meant differently to different people.
Feature credits: ; ‘ iStock’ by Getty images
The point that I gathered, is that once we take some active time out for ourselves, our journey to a meaningful day begins right then and there from that very moment.
I figured out my boundaries!
When we draw our boundaries, we actually define our needs and what others around us expect from us. I took time off to do a bit of soul searching. I found my circle , enlivened it and realized that pouring too much energy into other’s affairs was not fixing things for me. It’s only then I figured out that I actually needed to love myself a bit more than the others.
Left with enough time and energy, I felt less resentful and angry with myself for situations gone awry and happier with what was left with me.
Thought sharing never felt so bewitching!
For me the folly of one track idea of thought sharing slowly changed hands from a deceitful obsession to a vent to pour out my disquiet. I realized that once I dropped my guards and stop bothering myself with revved up emotions, things began to smoothen out and happen the way I wanted them to happen in the first place.
Feature credits: ; ‘ iStock’ by Getty images
Contemplating and doing nothing always weigh heavily on us. I raked up courage for once, voiced my thoughts strongly, stopped weathering and revealed myself. Amazingly life thereafter took a turn from inept to pleasant and fulfilling. Talking about what is bothering or upsetting you always vents your repressed emotions, soothes your stretched nerves and leaves more space to do better things.
I learned to talk turkey and bump heads
When replying to text messages, attending calls, meeting friends and family and buzzing through social media does not feel like a huge task, its time to ring the bells. This is one tell tale sign that your mental space has convalesced for good. So, if you do not cancel plans last minute and actually enjoy being in touch with friends, you are definitely over the fence and no longer a fly in the ointment! Stay connected and feel that dismay no longer rattling you. Awesome miracles will begin to change your day.
โRemember it is you who alone can decide who you are not once but every time with every action that you take, every principle you value and every rule you follow.โย
Feature credits: ‘iStock’ by Getty images.
I must have dozed off for sure for I woke up with a start! Somebody had rung the doorbell. The empty cup lay beside the chair. The sun had climbed over the horizon and the day was warming up. Instinctively, I looked out for the little bird. She was gone like a summer breeze; may be never to be seen again.
Days later as I pen these lines, I envy that little songbird. Her resolute flight from nowhere to my courtyard had unnerved me for a while. and reminded me of purposefulness and determination that I had vowed to myself but over the time had pushed into a corner. It reminisced me of all that I learned from Maa while trudging along the way holding her hands swaying from side to side as I grew up.
It gave me a cue to do a bit of soul searching and brawn to rewrite what had begun to fade out. I am also now wary of the pride that comes before the fall.
Thank you from my soul maa#The Mothers Day, for bearing me, rearing me and helping me to grow up to be the one I am now!!
He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark.ย –J.K. Rowling
Creamy, gooey, sticky and sweet desserts with little or no milk, cream, butter or eggs? Sounds nightmarish for dessert lovers, right? But you couldnโt be more deceived! Decadent and simply delicious, these super food delights could be made without a hint of an animal product. Sparse in calories and dense in antioxidants, vitamins and minerals, these foods have the punch to lift your mood besides lowering your cholesterol and reducing the risk of cardiac diseases and a host of health hazards.
New and improved lifestyle and eating habits have seen traditional desert favorites change into more appropriate versions. It is now possible for you to “have your cake and eat it too”. These healthy desserts are here not only to satisfy a sweet tooth, but also be a energy packed fuel source to help you ride through the day.
Here are 12 top of the chart super food desserts that you can indulge in guilt-free.
Coconut Aquafaba Macaroons
Image source: ‘Simple Coconut Macaroons’ by Joyce Gan in onegreenplanet.org.
When you canโt throw-in some aged Parmesan or thick creamy burrata on any old traditional desert for an instant flavor enhancement, itโs time to get creative and think differently.
Of course, when it comes to decadent desserts, egg, cream and butter seem to make appearances all too often but would you believe that even a vegan dessert like cute looking coconut aquafaba macaroons, completely plant based, healthy, and high in protein could be just as flavorful and healthy? Aquafaba is the viscous water in which legume seeds such as chickpeas have been cooked. Due to its ability to mimic functional properties of egg whites, aquafaba is used as an egg substitute in this vegan dish. To make these vegan macaroons, you need unsweetened, finely shredded coconut. You want to reign in the sugar rememeber !! and finely shredded coconut to hold together in whipped aquafaba. which works best with no more than two and a half minutes of beating when it starts to get foamy with stiff peaks.
Made without eggs, condensed milk, or any type of dairy, macaroons are a tasty treats and a visual delight. All the coconut provides healthy fats, which is good for hormone balance, skin, and energy levels. With base made of unsweetened shredded coconut, almond flour, Himalayan sea salt and pure maple syrup or coconut nectar, coconut oil and vanilla extract pitch in to take your bagel game to next level of flavors.
Strawberry & lime cheesecake
One of the most luxurious and delicious cheesecake, this cheesecake is packed with berries and super foods that are a warehouse of nutritional benefits.
Made with fresh strawberries in the summer when they’re in season, and frozen strawberries in the winter, this dessert is light, fruity not too sweet either. You can pair it with strawberry sauce, chocolate, coconut, or pretty much any other fruit. A chocolate drizzle could be just as perfect for any occasion. A fruity, dense creamy delight, you could indulge in this tangy lime accent dessert, where its weird sourness wonโt let you turn away.
Shortly before serving, spread a little bit of whipped cheese cream on top if you couldnโt do without that silky delicate smoothness and decorate with the strawberries. Sprinkle a bit of grounded cinnamon on top and serve with the raspberry coulis and you will stop frowning! Itโs so light and refreshing.
Berry & Cashew Cream Dessert โPizzaโ
Pizza for dessert? Weird but you heard it correctly. Indulge your sweet tooth with this delicious, healthy dessert โpizzaโ. The fresh berries, hearty whole grains, and savory coconut make it a unique vegan dessert option that is full of so many nutrients to fuel your body. Layers of maple-cashew cream, toasted nuts and fruits make it the ultimate health dessert that has tones of awesome textures and sweet berry flavor full of frozen goodness. Try it for one of those summer barbecue parties and its sure will be a hot favorite to spice up the bash.
Yep! This tasty, healthy food packed with berry goodness, also happens to be vegan and packs in plenty of proteins from cashews, almond butter, and hemp hearts.
Grasshopper Pie
Image source: ‘Grasshopper Pie’ by Kristina Vanni in thespruceeats.com on 28/04/2020
This incredibly easy no bake dessert is packed with nutrition and is an indulgent treat that tastes more like a thin mint cookie in frozen pie form!
Itโs super easy to make and boasts of a fudgy crust with a light-as-air minty cream filling which is fluffy with a super fresh minty taste thatโs not so overwhelming either!! Pair it with chocolate if you find the flavors too subtle and want that extra tartness to bring a zing of flavors- like in those addictive cookies.
And that gorgeous pastel green color is no food coloring but pops out of that super food protein medley! The protein powder is all organic, non-gmo, vegan and gluten free. It contains all the essential amino acids,18 grams of complete protein in every serving to be exact! Not to mention all the fiber, vitamins, minerals, omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants each serving carries.
Try a few spoonful of the mint cream straight to your mouth before you even get around to pouring it on the crust. You could be practically drinking the stuff!!
Blackberry Poppy Seed Crumb Cake
Image source: ‘Vegan blackberry poppy seed crumb cake’ by Ve eat Cook Bake in pinterest.ch.
If you love crumbles, try this healthy version of a classic crumb cake with a wholegrain shortbread made from spelt (hulled wheat), nut butter, poppy-seed filling, fresh and sweet blackberries and laced with cinnamon. Youโd love this because itโs forgiving and you could use a mixed bag of fruits to add zest to the dessert your way; even summer stone fruits like sliced peaches, plums or cherries could perk it up.
With a buttery crunchy topping, juicy veneer of strawberries, blueberries and blackberries and a soft airy inside, this crumb cake looks stunning and itโs super easy to make!
Chocolate Brownie Dessert Hummus
Dessert hummus is a blissful way to muzzle your sweet tooth. Loaded with nutrients, naturally sweetened and totally guilt-free, this healthy chocolate hummus tastes surprisingly like actual brownie batter.
The recipe works great as a dessert hummus platter with fresh fruit like strawberries, bananas, sliced apples, and raspberries. You can also spread it on pancakes, use it as a frosting for cake or vegan brownies, mix it into overnight oats or chia pudding or eat it straight from the bowl. The main ingredient in this brownie batter hummus is beans, and you could even try black beans, cannellini beans, hummus chickpeas or garbanzo beans. This is one of those deserts that could bowl you over with its tang of flavors.
Petha
Image source: ‘Delicious food of Raipur’ by Aarushi S. in budgetindianvacations.wordpress.com.
Petha is made by cooking winter melon (also known by the less appetizing name of โash gourdโ) in sugary syrup. Eaten as is or dipped in yet more sugar syrup, this delectable treat is made with winter melon and comes in different flavors and with unique add-ons, too. Discover the delicate flavors and natural freshness that comes packed in this confection flavored with pistachio, coconut, mango, or even laced with silky saffron. Winter melon is slated to have several health benefits, including easing off acidity and digestion issues. This soft fruity desert looks like dollop of crystal and is as pretty as it is sumptuous.
Ela Ada
Image source: ‘Ela Ada’ in myfoodmill. in on Oct. 4, 2018.
This is a snack that originated in the Indian state of Kerala and is quite popular as an authentic traditional delicacy made with rice flour, jaggery and coconut. It can be served for morning breakfast or even for evening snack with a cup of tea or coffee if you are an avid foodie and love sugary treats .Grated coconut and jaggery are nestled inside rice flour dough before being steamed inside a banana leaf wrap. It looks deceptively simple, but the banana leaf wrap adds another dash of taste to the little dumpling. Lightly sweet with a distinct fragrance, this is one perfect vegan dessert to cap off a rich nosh.
Banana & Chocolate Bread
Image source: ‘Eggless Banana Walnut Chocolate Chip Loaf . Simple & delicious ‘ by Deba @PAB in passionateaboutbaking.com on Ap.29, 2019.
For those days when you crave for desserts but pull back for you are watching your weight as well, this all-time favourite cake made with ripe bananas & chocolate is your best bet. This dessert is an ideal eat on a day when all is not well or on a day you’re craving for comfort dessert! And, above all, it’s vegan and tastes just as good as a regular dessert. Combining the sweet flavor of ripe bananas with chocolate or cocoa powder, this dessert is very similar to walnut flavored banana bread. You could serve this dessert with a choice of frosting, but could also share it as a snack over a cup of tea or coffee.
Cinnamon Roll
Image source: ‘Cinnamon Rolls’ in bakefromscratch.com.
These pillowy soft and luscious homemade cinnamon rolls topped with a perfect cream cheese glaze are the quintessential deserts treat and so easy to make! A delicious tasting cinnamon roll pairs in raw nut and seed flours with cinnamon spiced purรฉed figs and raisins- all pitched in. Roll up a batch or two and store them as a premade dessert in your freezer. They are so easy to slice when frozen and can then be dehydrated for a warmed “baked-like” texture.
Feature credits: kitchenstories.com
Always making for a perfect hit, this delight of a dish can lift a bleh day and carry it to a delicious end. So fragrant and not at all dry or crumby these cream cheese glazed rolls are simply delicious and make for an unforgettable flavor punch.
Coconut Cream Pie
Image source: ‘Coconut Cream Pie. The old fashioned way!’ by Barry C. Parsons in rockrecipes.com on Nov. 17, 2007.
A super food dessert version of the conventional coconut cream pie, this vegan recipe skips the cooking process and leaves out the eggs, milk, butter and cream too. Instead of dairy, rich almond milk and young coconut meat lend the dessert a cream pie-like consistency and is a perfect delight for those with big eyes for sugary treats when used with chia, coconut oil, cacao butter and Irish moss. In fact, this classic dessert is a hot favorite among those who love the earthy flavors. Coconut in the pastry cream filling gives it a refreshing burst of flavors. If you love treats with flaky crusts, thick and creamy fillings and a fluffy whipped cream topping then this pie is just for you!
Banana Cream Pie Parfaits
This vegan banana cream pie parfait is made with a buttery cracker and sweet coconut โcrustโ, layered with fresh bananas, homemade coconut pudding, and a dollop of whipped cream. Scrumptious, natural and low on sugar, this is one creamy dessert that youโd want to miss! You could top up your parfait with plenty of chocolate shavings for truly delicious afters. Simple and easy to make, this sweet, goodness loaded treat is any time delight especially during the spring and summer, when youโre looking for a yummy chilled dessert.
Feature credits: kitchenstories.com.
It’s never enough!!
The taste of sweetness is a completely natural inclination and reminiscent of our innate longing for gooiest, soppiest, mushiest and above all sugariest! While juicy ripe fruits could be our first choice when reaching to quench this desire, there is no need to starve ourselves of sweetie delights that can spring a moment of happiness in our life. But thenโฆ there is always bias to abuse too much of a good thing. It would do some good if you could find a healthy balance between simple pleasures and excess, no matter how good sinking your teeth in a delicious dessert feels. All you need to remember; โtoo much of anything is bad and nothing works well if taken in excessiveโ. Going to extremes risks neck or nothing.
So, sit back after a hearty dinner, laze off and relish the magical sweetness of these delightful desserts – guilt free!!.
For most of us โcheat food‘ means ‘bad food‘ for it usually comes fat drenched, deep fried or oil soaked and with not so healthy breading that goes into its making. But that doesnโt mean that you can never have it. Enjoy it on days you plan to go easy with fat at other meals especially on one of those cheat days! Besides there are guilt free versions too that wonโt play fiddle with your weight regimen.
For the most part, it is all about balance. Your nutritionist may confide; “No matter what your fitness goals are, itโs not always a bad idea to indulge in good and rich food once in a while. May be this will encourage you to stay on your wellness track for long!โ, And believe me, he couldnโt be more right! But simply switching to a burrito bowl from your regular deep pocketed meal and opting for rice and beans wonโt do any good if you choose to keep the full fat sour cream and cheese intact. Instead this will turn into a nutrient dense โcheatโ and could leave you feeling the guilt over a nimble beef burger too.
Itโs so easy to bite into myths and half truths about nutrition that in the end you are left with far fewer healthy choices than you would imagine. From fruit juices to canned veggies, from muffins to whole grain bread, itโs always easy-breezy to believe that we have chosen wisely and made healthier food choices than they really are. Sure, you may know which foods are healthy and which make a better sense when it comes to getting on with your day guilt free. But do you know which ones pack a powerful punch of more than one nutrient and is one of the healthiest feel fullerfoods? Turning to those grab and go foods arenโt any good either. Real trick is to eat real food to stock up and yet be on track all the times.
Nonetheless, since filling foods with high fiber and high protein means fewer calories per gram, you can pile up your plate without packing on pounds and binging on healthy cheat foods on your cheat day could really keep you on the move!
Here are 12 such choices that have made to the top, to let you know what to stock up on. Eat to your fill without eating less. And remember, small changes do make a heap of difference.
Pan Cakes
Source: ‘Fluffy Pancakes’ in eggs.ca
Beginning your day with a hearty and healthy breakfast is all about a dish that’s packed with vitamins, and proteins. After all breakfast is a big deal. Eggs, fruits and whole wheat toasts are good choices but itโs easy for your nosh to go south if you prefer heartier options. Traditional pancakes with maple syrup butter and strawberries, crispy and delicious waffles or that fluffy French toast with egg, all add up to calories and carbohydrates fast, especially if you add more butter and syrup after preparation. Fattier breakfast meats are just as bad, unless you are a vegetarian and prefer vegan food. Since itโs an important meal, a few simple changes could make you less guilty about it.
Traditionally two pancakes and four pieces of bacon contain 480 calories, 26 grams of fat and 46 grams of carbohydrates. On the contrary whole wheat pancakes and turkey bacon in the same amounts carry 289 calories, 16 grams of fat and 24 grams of carbohydrates. So, begin your day on a healthier note once you have picked up on your restraint.
Black Bean Burgers
Image source: ‘ Best-Ever Black Bean Burgers’ by Lena Abraham in delish.com on Ap. 17, 2020.
There’s nothing wrong with having a burger every now and then, but what is important is meat you consume with it . Grass fed beef ranks lower in saturated fats and has almost 5 times more of omega-3 and higher contents of vitamin-A and E as compared to grain fed beef. Prefer to have a home-made burger or even a multigrain one will do. Mash boiled potatoes and shallow fry them in olive oil, add lots of lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, cottage cheese, and even egg if you like. Your home-made happy meal with high nutritional value and moderate calories is ready. Add half a slice of cheese and a teaspoon of mayonnaise, and experience the flavors take a new turn.
Sweet Potato Fries
Image source: ‘Oven Baked Sweet Potato Fries’ in tablespoon.com.
Eyeing fries means junk food with a burger but when you think of it seriously, the dish adds up to potato slices that have been flash fried, are a bit higher on fat and calories but render carbs, fats, fiber and vitamins as required for an overall healthy diet. The bottom line though is that if you choose proper cut fries, fried in lighter oils instead of fast food version, they wonโ be as unhealthy as youโd think.
You may consider switching regular fries for sweet potato ones as a healthier option but the truth remains that when deep fried, both are equal in calories. One great way to cut the calories however, is to try baked or roasted version with a drizzle of olive oil and a pinch of paprika to pep up the flavors.
A burger and fries usually make up for a great brunch though alone they arenโt great in taste but toppings like mayonnaise and lean meat kick the flavors once dipping sauce options pour in. To make it more wholesome, swap beef for turkey and you have already cutback to 269 calories, 11.7 gms. of fat , 20.3 gms. of carbs and 4 gms. of sugar for each helping. You could eat two of these and still be under McDonald version.
Tacos
Image source: ‘How to Make the Perfect Taco’ by John Surface in sweetkickinsalsa.com.
Tacos are delicious, but too many condiments and use of fatter cuts of meat, or deep fried battered fish turn it into a sinful chew. Grilling a white flaky fish like cod and seasoning it with herbs and spices, or lemon juice instead, would help you avoid the โbad for youโfats and render the dish into a guilt free healthy alternative. You could even swap the taco for a pita. Serving with a dark green leafy salad would add fiber to your meal. If youโre still apprehensive, just remember that itโs only the traditional drive-thru tacos that donโt do you any favors. Topped with sour cream and cheese, and sides like chips and nacho cheese, these are a diet disaster. But a lighter approach will give you the flavor you want without the extra calories, fat and carbs. And above all, itโs the meat alone that matters and there is nothing wrong with having tacos every now and then.
Nachos
Image source: ‘Beef Nachos Grande’ in unileverfoodsolutions.com.
Make no mistakes and get one thing straight right away; there’s no such thing as a zero-calorie food though fiber and water-rich veggies like cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, celery, broccoli, and cabbage come pretty close, for they come naturally very low in calories. Try 100% corn baked tortilla chips with a lean protein, low fat dairy and heaps of veggies like peppers, olives, jalapenos, tomatoes, onions, refried beans. Top off your dish with guacamole, salsa, and cilantro and you have a delight on your plate that gives the satisfaction of chewing plus a full belly. Use the topping to bulk up your sandwiches or omelette if you have no tooth for raw veggies.
Wild Salmon
Image source: ‘Grill, Poach, Broil, Roast: How to cook wild salmon ‘ in thechalkboardmag.com.
Chicken gets boring at times. And if this happens to be one such times, simply look around for a source of lean protein that comes with a fat-fighting advantage. Salmon is one such good choice which helps in weight loss by improving glucose sensitivity, reducing insulin resistance and inflammation and speed up the oxidation of fat. Pack more punch to the dish by having a pick of roasted vegetables like artichokes, spinach, or broccoli, served alongside which all provide at least 5 grams of fiber per serving. Above all, you donโt need a ton of it to feel satisfied; still donโt ignore the portion size!
Pepperoni Pizza
Image source: ‘Pepperoni Pizza’ in 360bistrobar.com.
Cheap, filling and easy to reach, this is one huge go-to cheat meal. What more itโs delivered right to your doorstep even in the middle of the night? And oh!! Itโs so delicious. But be wary of the crust,for this breading could wreck your diet plan. Cheese and meat toppings too are guilty and so is the accompanying sauce. Getting thinner crust and less cheese works well though. Try for once and you will wonder how on earth could this unhealthiest of cheat meals come up with a nutritional value no less than other options? But trust me, thatโs what you get when the crust in your pizza thins out to a true dietary good boy! A flat out simple pizza topped with turkey pepperoni, onions, mushrooms and peppers yields 328 calories, 13 grams of fat and 32 grams of carbohydrates.
Spaghetti and meatballs
Image source: ‘Spaghetti and Meatballs’ by Betty Crocket Kitchens in in bettycrocker.com on Dec. 19, 2017.
This dish is as close to traditional Italian cuisine as it could ever get though unfortunately, tradition comes at a price of high calories and carbohydrates. Choosing a healthier option like vegetable pasta and turkey meatballs however, could scale back the worrying numbers and would allow you to enjoy your meal and not feel bad about it later. Just be mindful of the portion size for each serving of zucchini noodle pasta with turkey meatballs enriches you with no less than 440 calories, 15 grams of fat and 42 grams of carbohydrates. Cutting everything even by half will make a huge difference, and you wonโt be deprived of flavors in the process.
Macaroni & Cheese
Image source: How to Create Your Own Signature Mac and Cheese’ by Sarina Petrocelly in ourcommunitynow.com on JUn.11, 2020.
If you do not intend to dine out even after a hectic work day or simply want to laze around at home on a wintry afternoon, macaroni and cheese is one good dependable choice that could lift your spirits. What more, you will be doing your entire body a great favor by doing nothing for once!
Typically made with a lot of milk, butter and artificial ingredients, you have already sacrificed a lot for the sake of noodles and cheese. Just be mindful of how much more dairy you add. And remember, this time you are not making any vegetable pasta! Still anxious! try a baked version for you get more for less without sacrificing flavors. One serving of baked macaroni and cheese has 297 calories, 9.7 grams of fat and 34.5 grams of carbohydrates.
Fried Rice & Egg Rolls
Image source: ‘How To Make Egg Roll Fried Rice’ in allasiarecipes.com.
One of initial fears in pursuing a plant-based lifestyle is that most of us find it difficult to give up the foods that we have enjoyed all our lives. But reality is so different! You enjoy more by recreating ethnic cuisines than dining out.
So, for once put your foot down and step out of the box. You could start by tackling fried rice and tofu eggrolls. Sautรฉed diced tofu in canola oil until light brown is a visual delight. Add coleslaw (finely shredded cabbage with a salad dressing) mix for that extra crunch and sautรฉโ till wilting. This filling wrapped into an open egg roll like a burrito and then heated and deep fried until golden brown, makes for one great dish to enjoy without feeling the regret later. Oven or air fryers donโt do justice if authentic dish is your choice. You could switch the tofu with another high protein dish or add crushed seaweeds to your egg rolls or even swap deep fried egg rolls for non fried spring rolls, if you want this to be your signature dish! Be wary of the portion size though. Each 200 grams (1 bowl) serve of cauliflower fried rice contains 108 calories, 3 grams of fat, 14 carbohydrates and 1 gram of sugar.
Chicken Nuggets
Image source: Fond of crispy chicken nuggets? Hereโs how you can prepare it at home’ by TNN in timesofindia.indiatimes.com on May 24, 2019.
If you are the one who is on various diets, you would understand the struggle of โcheatingโ in moderation. And more so finding the right way to do it. This doesnโt mean that you cannot bite into your regular pizza or you cannot have a ball in your favorite Chinese buffet. All it requires is finding a way to enjoy your favorite cheat food in a healthy way.
While chicken nuggets arenโt the unhealthiest of cheat foods, they definitely donโt offer as much nutritional value as other options. Nuggets with the breading make things still worse.
Each helping from McDonaldโs has six nuggets and regrettably carries 270 calories, 16 grams of fat, 16 carbohydrates and 15 grams of protein. Not so terrible sounding!! but most of the people donโt stop at only six chicken nuggets at a time. So make a baked platter of your own and you could get rid of all those extras. 188 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 8 carbohydrates and 26 grams of protein in six baked nuggets is what you get when the dish is made only with meat.
Raspberry Thyme Granita
Image source: ‘Raspberry-Thyme Granita’ by Cheryl Mussatto in eatwelltobewellrd.com on Aug. 10, 2020.
When your sweet tooth aches, itโs time to reach for โฆ dessert! There are so many healthy versions of it and you don’t need much of it to feel satisfied. There’s actually nothing wrong with having a little sweet treat during the day. In fact, satisfying yourself with something delicious and nutritious is the key to ace healthy diet .
Feature credits: ‘KItchenstories.com” .
If you’re looking for a healthy, dairy-free light frozen treat, this easy to make raspberry thyme granite is just the right choice for you. A super refreshing, slushy this Italian ice dessert is similar to sorbet and what more, you could use raspberries, watermelon, blackberries, or even strawberries for this a zero fat- zero sodium dessert. A good source of vitamin C and fiber and a perfect alternative to overly rich, sugary desserts, this dish wonโt let you go overboard on the calories. One cup (150 gms) provides 8 grams of satiating fiber and sets you back only 60 calories. Not creamy or decadent, this food is a perfect way to end a meal.
Cheat Food: An occasional binge is not a bad idea!
Cheat foods aim to help you stay motivated throughout the day and in no way harm your weight loss plan. Besides, they gives you a break from the usual food that you have been eating daily without craving for it. But you just cannot go about bingeing through the day as it will only undo an entire week’s hard work. This will only stir up more cravings, eventually losing complete focus. Excessive indulgence incites craving for these foods and it will be difficult for you to go back to restrained eating over the next few days.
So, choose the cheat food that you enjoy enough to give up the โsinful partโ of it. Loads of meals and snacks come packed as nutritional powerhouses. Just look for whole foods as first ingredients that are as simple as possible. It will be easier for you to choose among better- for- me options without too many sacrifices. And donโt forget the reason that makes a โcheat foodโ so special.
It’s no longer simply food and drink sold in a public place, market or street! From a full time vegan to a diehard steak lover whatever you choose, you could find a whole range of eats that is full of good stuff and savory surprises- all natural with no added this, no added that.
All from a humble street side Hakka noodles loaded with crunchy veggies toBad Brownies and Other Sidefried chicken burgers toTrufflemeatless burgers, the street foods never aced better and bigger.
It’s good to be Happy, Healthy and Hungry!
Fine! So you have decided to live a healthier lifestyle and gradually changing your ways- going to gym every other day and making healthy meal for yourself. You are determined to hold on to this change as long as possible and not think of it as a mere fad. But then sometimes not everything works out the way you want to. You may have chosen to eat at home rather than dine out with friends but then a situation has arisen and you couldnโt make it either way. You had always wanted to be sure of what you eat. You feel that you have had enough of recipes from internet and would want to try something new and exciting. And guess what! ย Street side eateries come for your rescue. Appropriate to the kind of lifestyle you have chosen for yourself, you would want a taste of spices and flavors and meals without any guilt pangs. Street foods offer you choices straight from an epicurean paradise that are satiating and are actually healthy.
Feature credits:’13 Desserts from Around the World! | Popular Desserts and Frozen Sweets’ by So Yummy in youtube.com on Ap.27, 2019.
From mouth watering vegan Indian and Thai street foods, to Jamaican Jerks and American burgers, the recipe roll is enormous and sure could give you an unforgettable taste of spices, herbs and flavors. There are plenty of vegan low-calorie, keto, gluten-free street food dinners, as well as side dishes and snacks. Whether you’re vegan, plant-based or just trying to cut down on meat, street foods are just for you! From vegan burgers, hot dogs to a vegan lobster roll, the mildly seasoned, delicately spiced street foods are quick, easy and burst with flavors once in your mouth.
You can begin your gourmet journey by trying these ten tastiest street foods that are vegan, plant based and health some.
Tofu with spicy garlic prune sauce
Image source: ‘Asian tofu hashtag ‘ on twitter by Veg vegan meat on Jul 20, 2020.
A perfect vegan alternative to BBQ, the pan-fried Asian Tofu with spicy garlic sauce is quick, easy and packed with flavor! Itโs a great midday eat and tastes heavens when paired with a Chinese sauce thatโs sweet, spicy, salty and savory, all at the same time. Tofu is a great source of protein and contains all nine essential amino acids, iron and calciumโฆso great for your bones, teeth and blood. It is marinated in sweet spicy garlic sauce and once it has soaked up the sauce, then pan fried till crispy on the outside and soft inside. Prune juice gives a deep caramelly sweetness and works as marinade. Perfect with rice and stir fried green, it tastes exquisite.
Lentil Fritters
Image source: ‘Recipes from around the world: Bhajias (Lentil Fritters)’ by Ben Hinson in recipesaroundtheworld.com on Jam. 23, 2016.
Tasty and delicious these vegan version of Takoyaki balls, are soft, deep fried fritters made out of split green gram flour and topped with spicy green mint chutney and shredded radish, melt in your mouth with a spicy, tangy aftertaste. A sprinkle of some lemon juice and this combo will leave you wanting more. Insanely crispy and crunchy these fried lentil (dal) fritters make for a mouthwatering savory snack. Tamarind chutney evens out the spiciness of green chutney and pungency of radish. So donโt forget to have it added to your plate.
Vegan Corn Dogs
Image source: ‘Vegan Corn Dogs’ in vegannook.com.
These vegan corn dogs have no sausages or imitation soy meat in them. Covered in a maize-flour batter, fried and then served on a stick these gluten free corn dogs use a meat-free hot dog, or if you prefer-a roasted carrot. Yet another healthy version of two classic street foods, cornbread and vegan hot dogs, pair in to create the ultimate fun food you would love to eat and feel good. Soft, fluffy corn bread and delicious hotdogs make for a satisfying snack or side for your next nosh rush!
Vegan Korean Cauliflower Wings
Feature credits: ‘Korean Fried Cauliflower’ by Jeramie Go in youtube.com on Ap.5, 2021.
Korean-style cauliflower wings, battered and drenched in a spicy, tangy glaze gochujang maple glaze and baked until caramelized, could make you forget the mushy vegetable that finds it way so often to your platter at home. You could have mock chicken version to make it vegan but cauliflower is a finger-licking good substitute for meat. Once baked or roasted, it gets a meat like texture thatโs really enjoyable. This dish is also a visual treat, thanks to the vibrant red pepper sauce and cooling cucumber yogurt dip.
Sweet Potato
Image source: ‘Double Baked Sweet Potatoes ‘ in macheesmo.com on Sep.25, 2019.
Steamed or roasted and cubed this tuber when served hot with a generous sprinkle of chaat masala( snack spice) a dash of lime and a bit of star fruit for that extra tang, works as a high energy booster and is one good relief for those whogo-to-street snack everyday and those who worry about thebelly before the bite.
This popular tangy and savory street food is a guilt-free alternative to fried foods. Lengths of tubers are roasted on embers and then the smoky cubes are tossed in a special blend of โspicesโ and tamarind chutney.
Interestingly, this sweet tasting root vegetable is now a millennial food obsession. Just one serving of this roasted potato could deliver a whopping 400% of daily vitamin A quota; essential for both eye and cardiac health. What moreโฆ despite its starchy rep, sweet potato is the new diabetic super food, thanks to its low-glycemic index .
Momos
Images source: ‘ Friends Of Pho In Kolkata Makes Colourful, Highly Exotic Dimsums That You Wonโt Find Elsewhere’ by Suchismita Pal in curlytales.com
When it comes to street food, how could anyone miss out on such an essential dish? Itโs surprising how something so small can be so filling! Momos are so exquisite that this food has turned synonymous with students to shoppers, to corporate workers. As street food banter goes, you wonโt find a better hot steamed goodness that knocks up different versions all the time. From fried to tandoori and chicken to paneer, you get all kinds to satiate your craving for a hot plate of delicious food.
Pretty easy to make vegan; ask for those with veggies inside, or a mock-meat if youโre looking for a recreated meat dumpling. Served alongside some vegan-friendly soy sauce this is one go to dish for brunches and afternoon grub rush!
Som tam ( Papaya Salad)
Image source: ‘Supatra’s Green Papaya Salad Recipe (Som Tam Thai)’ in templeofthai.com.
A delicious Thai salad, Som Tam is a green papaya salad that combines all four tastes – sour, chili, sweet and salty. A healthy and tasty treat for brunch, lunch or a casual light dinner, this dish is all about sliced sour fruits, veggies like green papaya and tomatoes and other ingredients as lime, palm sugar, chili, garlic, dried shrimps, fried peanuts etc. which are all pounded together in a mortar and unleash an explosive blend of flavors once in your mouth. Yard-long beans, hog plums, eggplant, and the dishโs star ingredient unripe, shredded green papaya, all combine to create a celebration of contrasting flavors and textures. Delivering carotenoids three times the amount of tomatoes and carrots, this dish, lowers the risk of macular degeneration, is anti-inflammatory and anti-tumor and effectively lowers cholesterol levels.
Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup)
Image source: ‘Beyond Phแป : 5 Other Irresistible Vietnamese Noodle Soups’ by Viet Doan in delishably.com on Feb. 6, 2020.
If you have no more 20 minutes for a quick bite, your best bet lies with this โbowl of medicineโ. Experience the magic of this noodle soup where broth is everything. Itโs light full of flavor, deceptively beefy, savory, complex, has a delicate richness and is filled with a dense aroma of spices like cinnamon, star anise and cardamom. The fragrant broth is fortified with vermicelli rice noodles, strips of lean beef or chicken or mock meat, crunchy bean sprouts, and topped with heaps of greens like basil and coriander. The soup is utterly addictive and every spoonful leaves you wanting more! A storehouse of essential amino acids and minerals, this is one wholesome dish that is anti inflammatory and helps in building up a healthy gut.
Jamaican jerk tofu skewers (vegan)
Feature credits: ‘Sweet & Spicy Jamaican Jerk Tofu Rice Bowls’ by Tasty in youtube.com on Jan.7,2020.
Experience the tropical flavors of the Caribbean with spicy, flavorsome jerk seasoned and fruity, sausage-laden skewers served with rich and creamy coconut rice, if you fancy food that doesnโt have meat, but is a brilliant alternative that can satisfy your taste buds. This street food isnโt really about heat- itโs about creating a delicious combination of organic vegetables and eye smarting spices. Allspice, cinnamon, thyme, onion and garlic all come together to make a tasty yet easy marinade for the tofu. With tossed veggies on the side, these skewers taste great and are ready in 15 minutes flat. Grilled on the barbecue, grill pan, pan fry or bake, this easy vegan dish is a great way to your round off your snacking rush!
From Chops to Chows: The delicious fun comes wrapped in health and happiness!
Are you on a diet regimen? Or maybe you are a buff person! Whateverโฆyour bid to have a flavorsome, exciting and healthier lifestyle should not be foiled just because you could binge on the limited food options available for you? You should be creative enough to come up with healthier menus, and street foods are an excellent option for you. There are a lot of healthy street foods which you can try and which wonโt wreck your fitness when you bite into them. Think about this next time you rush out of your home without a scrumptious breakfast, or your Office when you have no more than 20 minutes for a quick grub for lunch or your college when your canteen menu despairs you. For sure, youโll be able to find more dishes on the street that fit to your healthy lifestyle!
Sounds strange? ย But trust me, this food works! Just dig into an inspired salad or side and experience layers of delight and happiness on your plate!!
If you believe that street eats guarantee only unhealthy and boring food, then itโs time you fine-tuned yourself.
Street foods these days are getting past the predictable vegetarian menu, and becoming adventurous as they play with different ingredients while putting together some lip smacking food items. Love them or hate them but you definitely cannot turn a blind eye to a plateful of steaming juicy savory delight. Itโs either love at first sight or it may take a while before you grow fond of those singing flavors and delicate textures. But once you get past your inhibitions, there is no dearth to discover and cheer about. Give your day a joyous spin with the punch of comfort foods that are packed with nutrients, have the knock to ignite your metabolism and give an edge to your diet regimen.
Besides itโs cheap, quick, accessible and tasty. It just couldnโt get any better than that.
Youโre probably thinkingโฆstreet food, is it safe? Youโre not alone. Little apprehensions start doing rounds in your head. Is that infamous โDelhi bellyโ really true? Whatโs the worst that could happen? Food poisoning? Are road side eateries safe? If the food is cooked right, are all the bacteria really dead? Whateverโฆ if you are not much of a foodie and listen to those voices in your head then you are missing out on some damnshiokfood. โshiok-nessโ of street food is pretty consistent and envied even by the five star dining restaurants. And the fact that itโs wholesome and cheap totally brings up the level of satisfaction. Sink your teeth into when you get the chance and you will agree that smorgasbord of street foods is better than any guidebook to safe snacking.
Think of a rollicking platter of butter fried bread (Pav) sporting lightly spiced sweet hillocks of finely chopped tomatoes (bhaji) on downtown Mumbai streets. Think of fried mantou (Chinese steamed bun) with chilli crab sauce on the wayward lanes of Shanghai – similar concepts but way cheaper and both packed with finger licking good flavors. Imagine the best curry in the world, laced with a dollop of butter, onions and lime to enrich your culinary experience and freshen up the party. Then what if you chance upon a buttery pan-fried bun that soaks up all its flavors like a good sponge, and bring all the goodness to your mouth intact. This is what miracles of street food are made of.
But street food doesnโt just mean an easy way to fill our bellies. It does two things for us- entertain us and create a healthy public space about the same time. Itโs just as much about theatrics; from the fizz of a softly poured soda and the smell of mint while walking past a line of juice sellers, to the clanging sound of a steel masher of a pav bhaji stall to the soft buzz of people talking while standing in line at your favorite chicken roll joint.
Feature credits: ‘ 5 Healthy Street Food Recipes’ by Goodful in youtube.com on Jan.12, 2020.
Think of food and a faint tingle runs through your taste buds! A hot seitan roast stuffed with shitake and leeks could make you salivate. The idea of hot roasted peanuts would turn you โsnackyโ. Street food, then, is not just about foodโitโs about the experience. And street side joints are โno strings attached โ places for public mingling where you could have conversations that give vent to your emotions so much better than those water coolers in your Office; probably the best place to take a break from those boring excel sheets! The joint near your college where instant noodles work as brunch for those with lighter pockets and even the excuse for a romantic interlude, are after all a busy public space- open to all at all times. You may not know the person digging into egg sandwich next to you or sipping tea while reading a newspaper for hours, you not even glance over to a guy rushing through his chicken rice before hurrying off to Office, but itโs just as easy to strike a conversation with them- and no holds barred!
Curry-licious and appetizing -Comfort foods that bring layers of happiness to your plate and are actually healthy!
People all over the world, however much they love meat, like veggies, greens and fruits adore snacking. Figure this out!! It helps if you interact more with your neighbours, but even if you donโt, you still learn a lot by frequenting street side eateries and exploring local food. Sometimes you just get lucky and get to taste what even mocks five star dining.
With vegetarianism and veganism no longer considered amateurish, a whole new genre of street eateries are now serving fusion food that could make even the most resilient of foodie go weak at knees. And not all of them run off the mill. Few of these novel ones serve mock meats (ones that have the texture of meat, but are made from mushrooms and/or vegetables), while others tow the line by having a wide list of comfort food on their menu and could get your favorite meal to your doorstep. Both ways, you get the best bang for your buck in the bargain!
So, if this happens to be one of those days when you crave for something that tastes bold and is preferably veggie, itโs time you took a stroll down that cobbled street right next to that chaotic weekly market and you will get hit by that mesmerizing smell ofpotato croquettesimmering in butter over a large flat griddle-the patties that are deep-fried to create a crispy outer layer while still remaining melt-in-your-mouth-soft on the inside. A little further down and you could lose yourself drooling over the king of street food- the mouthwatering spicy roadsideMomos. Running riot at roadside stalls to food centers and food courts in all hot-shot Malls, these tangy spicy red sauce and steaming hot dumplings loaded with veggies or chicken are simply irresistible. No matter how fussy you are about street foods, but when it comes to these spicy delights almost every day temptation becomes difficult to reign in.
But which one of this colorful fusion of flavorsdishes is truly healthy and tasty? No worriesโyou are not the only one who gets intimidated easily. There are so many people who fancy street foods but occasionally run short on ideas to match their diet regimen.
If you are on the run and hungry and a quick bite is your only choice, then reach out for some mouth watering street foods without worrying about your waist line. These are not only fast but usually hit the spot each time. Besides, they are cheap, tasty and above all not a diet minefield!!
Here are 10 such finger foods that are refreshing and healthy and could let you escape an expensive restaurant each time you rush out for a bite! These must try amazingly addictive street foods are real delights and could actually keep your diet plan intact. So, dig in, experience thesips and slurps of flavors and โruinโ yourself like never before.
French toast
Image source:’ Quick and Easy French Toast’ in mccormik.com
No eggs? No problem. This easy vegan French toast is a delicacy made out of almond milk, cinnamon, nutmeg, maple, nutritional yeast, and a little bit of flour. Chia seeds arenโt just a thickening agent in this breakfast classic. Packing in a nutritional punch of proteins, calcium, fiber and omega 3s, this fluffy yet chewy nosh becomes irresistible once you top the toast with peanut butter, blueberries and sugar syrup or an airy coconut whipped cream!
Avocado melt sandwich with Coconut bacon
Image source: ‘Vegan Avocado Melt with Coconut Bacon – The Vegan Food Blog’ Elena Arellano in pinterest.com
This scrumptious avocado melt sandwich is filled with roasted red peppers and a zesty cilantro-lime avocado mash. Packed with creamy avocado and savory coconut this vegan sandwich is crispy and grilled to perfection! Mashed avocado browned in a skillet not only gives this sandwich its โmeltyโ factor, but beef up its nutritional value with fiber, potassium, and monounsaturated fats. โCoconut baconโ (essentially seasoned and toasted coconut flakes) add the crunch and morphs the dish into a unique and wholesome eat. Eat it not to miss the fun!
Chickpea flour omelet
Image source:’ Vegan chickpea flour omelette โ Made easy!’ by Chef Jana in chefjanapinheiro.com on Aug 14, 2017.
This vegan, soy free chickpea omelet is one lip smacking dish that is loaded with protein, dietary fibre and nutrients. A silky chickpea flour batter once flavored with ginger, garlic, spinach, onion, tomatoes and bell peppers turns into a crispy on the outside but butteryinside pancake when slow fried on a flat griddle that resembles an omelet and makes a great vegetarian option for those who do not consume eggs.
Looking no less than a greasy-spoon staple, this fresh, veggie-packed street food is actually gluten free and masquerades beaten eggs so well. Get it customized with anything from spinach and mushrooms to onions and tomatoes. Sure, this doesnโt taste exactly like a typical omelet, but with its subtle crunchiness and savory bite, this is a tasty lunch time treat in its own right. This could be your eat if you have got 20 minutes and no more for your nosh.
Tofu Benedict
Image source: ‘Tofu Benedict With Mushroom Bacon’ by Heather Poire in onegreenplanet.org
Nothing cries comfort more than a platter of this ultimate vegan brunch dish that proves that you really donโt need dairy to glue all the ingredients together. With greens, tomato slices, tempeh bacon and spices all cooked to perfection, the dish is drenched with a dairy free hollandaise sauce (which is an emulsion of egg yolk, melted butter, and lemon juice usually seasoned with salt, and white or cayenne pepper).You can have it topped with a slice of avocado for a pop of green or a little bit of homemade cashew โcheeseโ for a healthy fat. Enjoy this quintessential street side brunch delight when you are running short on time and yet crave for a meaty bite.
Vegan BLT Sandwich
Thinly sliced eggplant masks so well as bacon for a meat-free version of this deli classic!! The rest comes together quickly and easily. Mayo or hummus on the toasted bread slices ride with one piece of eggplant or coconut bacon. Onion and tomato make up for a sandwich thatโs forgiving and flexible, but still so, so good. This BLT is a delicious simple lunch or dinner for those who are always on the rush, half-walking half-running and at best could only stop at the next food cart for a quick morsel.
Mashed Chickpea salad sandwich
Image source: ‘Smashed chickpea salad sandwich’ by Katyrex in graceinthecrumbs.com on Mar.1, 2018.
Nothing beats a simple but fulfilling sandwich for lunch and this one- reminiscent of a brown-bag staple, more than fits the bill for itโs cheap, easy to reach and tops the menu in most street side eateries. The low-glycemic chickpeas are mashed with hummus or tahini, carrots and celery for a filling thatโs both smooth and crunchy at the same time. If you fancy satiety, ask for an extra generous layer between slices of thick whole-wheat bread for a hearty finger licking good midday meal.
Kebabs
Image source: ‘Delicious Vegan Kebabs’ by Rajesh Padmanabhan in theflamingvegan.com on Mar. 29, 2017.
At street stalls, you’ll find staggering variety of kebabs that are aflame with tangy spices like nutmeg and cloves. You could try those most favored satin-soft kebabs made from lamb pounded with lentils that’s boiled, then ground with onions and mint, shaped into patties, and finally pan fried. Be wary though!! These flavor bombs donโt go easy with your diet plan and could bulk you up in no time.
Other most indulgent varieties are an ingenious combination of grounded veggies, seasoned, delicately spiced, griddle fired and served wrapped with whole wheat paratha lightly oiled and crunch fried off the back of an inverted tava (griddle). Served with mint and tamarind dip and spicy pickles, this wrap tastes heavens and wouldnโt let you stop at one.
Kathi Roll
Image source: ‘Vegetable Kathi Roll ‘ in manjulaskitchen.com
Surly Chipotle burritos are bae, your favorite snack and all that, but have you ever bitten into a Kathi roll in the middle of lunch hour on the side of a busy intersection? Kathi rolls might be considered a close equivalent of a burrito or Frankie or even the shawarma. The flavor of a Kathi roll is truly a savory sensation with its flat bread exterior enveloping tender pieces of seasoned and spiced soy chunks or paneer or chicken in addition to toppings from scrambled eggs to mixed raw/cooked vegetables. The final garnish before everything is wrapped up, is a variety of sauces, a squeeze of lemon or lime and a sprinkle of snack spices. Every time you sink your teeth into this mรฉlange of flavors you get to taste a bit of culinary nirvana.
Pav Bhaji
Image source: ‘Pav Bhaji’ by Dhwani Mehta in cookingcarnival.com on July 30, 2017.
If you could remember that one deep-fried dish your mom used to make all the time growing up that you watched from the sidelines, salivating as you eyed those mouth watering sauce dripping oomph pieces, waiting for them to cool enough to gorge on, you are somewhat close to the flavors this dish carries.
Originating as an Indian street comfort food, this vegetarian version of Sloppy Joeis a blend of mashed vegetables in a tomato-based gravy cooked on a tava (flat griddle) and served with a buttered bread roll. A spicy mashed vegetable dish, served piping hot with a dollop of butter, diced red onions, cilantro, and a squeeze of lime; this is a perfect finger food for anytime anywhere snacking. Variations could carry ground meat and/or paneer.
Tibb’s Frankie
Image source: ‘Tibbs Frankie’ in swiggy.com
The Tibb’s Frankie is an egg-washed paratha that’s tightly wrapped around craggy pieces of chicken or mutton if you love meat and paneer, or vegetables, spangled with onions, chilies, chutneys, and the secret Tibb’s spice mix that elevates it all. It has much in common with the Kathi roll, but meat in the latter comes wrapped in a paratha of refined wheat flour, while Frankie uses whole wheat and the masala mix is wetter than that used for Kathi roll.
Off beat yet an appetizing delicacy meant exclusively for you!
All this bounty means that a truly comprehensive catalog of street food could actually fill up several encyclopedias about the vibrant street food culture around the world. Thereโs just so much to experience across the street with so many food options! These ten delicacies are merely like skimming through one single page of a colossal street food catalogue! Thereโs so many more delicious eats that stall holders will yell at you to โ โTake it, and Goโ.
Whateverโฆfuss-free and flavorful, street side snacking is an adventure and it sure makes that rush to food cart all the more satisfying for a tummy thatโs been on a roll for a while
Feature credits: ‘What Street Foods Look Like Around The World’ by Food Insider in youtube.com on Feb.8, 2019.
Besides who would want to miss a crunchy road side re-treat to tummy-licious food anyways?
If you were to earn a dime every time you heard someone persuade a vegetarian to eat meat, by making him or her think of it only as paneer, I am sure you would have had a lot many of them. With only a distinct texture and nothing to boast of as flavor, paneer like chicken turns sumptuous once you put some sauce on it. Then there is butter paneer for those raring to attend a butter chicken night only to make eyes roll. You wonโt feel deprived for a butter paneer or paneer kebabplatter would keep the vegetarians on the table quite busy. Even McDonaldโs has a paneer burger coated with cream sauce and shredded lettuce that wonโt let you miss the chicken, for it look exactly the same. You could even imagine yourself as a vegetarian who after window shopping in upscale market and across food courts finally settles down for a baguette stuffed with tomato, cheese and half a green leaf. Not that they arenโt delicious but you would feel better if you fed yourself with apaneer stuffed naan.
Good news is that the world is finally opening up for fleshy, juicy meat alternatives that even outsmarts paneer, tofu or chunks of soya. These flavorsome plant based proteins could often make you check out twice with the chef; โYou sure there is no chicken here in this sandwich?โ
Restaurant menus have also begun echoing the trend. From sandwich and wraps stuffed with fake meats to spaghetti served with mock meatballs you can lay your hands on trending meat analogues anytime and every time hunger pangs hits you. Chunks of mock fish in Sri Lankan curry and โchicken wingsโ have all become a most sought after entrรฉeโ dish across all Yauatchas andHakkasans. Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods are now household names.
While soy based products are meant to taste and feel like meat, veg. proteins has moved far and beyond. For starters there is Tempeh, the Indonesian fermented beans that come wrapped as condensed bars or blocks with a dense texture and flavor. It tastes better for those who find soya chunks too chewy. The ache for variety is gaining momentum and market size for mock ducks, vegan burger and kebabs is growing steadily. Vegetarian meats like chicken, mutton, prawns, and even meat liver made out of soya have found favor with connoisseurs and food lovers. โVegickenโ and โSuper beanโ are the most fancied and trending foods today.
Interestingly, even if your idea of eating vegetarian meat is only an attempt to extend your meatless Mondays into a life style or simply to add variety to your spread, the trend of alternative meats is only going upwards and onwards. Faux meats are the newest amongst thedrift foods and have quickly turned a hot favorite amongst food lovers and new age flexitarians.
How good are the mock meats?
Walk into any mid size super market and you will find a bizarre array of vegan food products lining the shelves, never seen before. From pastries to imitation โchorizoโ sausages to Quorn โa fake meat made of mycoproteins, from vegetarian โhamโ to nuggets, from fake turkey and stuffing to steak and gravy pies, all are neatly stacked in the chilled vegetarian aisle Then there are plant-based โmeatballsโ, โburgersโ and โdeep fried chickenโ. You could virtually wear yourself out making all the finger quotes that go into explaining these vegan โmeatsโ.
Itโs not that that the concept of imitation meat is anything new. Meat versions nuggets and hot dogs have merely found substitutes. For as long as people prefer vegetarian or too poor to buy meat, mock meat of one kind or another is there to replace the meat versions. Thanks to food techs many of these fake meats are uncannily realistic both in texture and appearance. From โflakyโโ fish to burgers oozing with beetroot juice to textured pea proteins, all nail it pretty well. Itโs tough though to mimic the texture and mouth feel of ground beef, but meat alternatives also come loaded with coloring and textural additives. Eating these hyper processed meat alternatives is akin to a healthy diet, when accompanied with simpler side options like beans and high protein veggies.
Technology used to make fake meat has broken all fences, and so the products available today look, taste and feel more like the real thing than, say, the soya nuggets of the โ90s that retained their spongy texture and flavor no matter what you did. Most mock meats use soya protein, wheat gluten or vegetable substitutes like jackfruit and are considered to be healthier, offer more nutritive value, more fiber, lowers fat content, and no animal fat (which means no cholesterol). However, for those not big on eating red meat, the lack of cholesterol is not as significant a plusas it sounds. However, be wary of sodium content in fake meats. You merely need to balance out your daily consumption of salt and that should be okay.
The rise of โmeatlessโ meat
Meat alternatives are clearly having a moment and offering a clear vision of a different future for meat. Every year, billions of animals are raised and slaughtered on factory farms across the world (a staggering 9 billion plus in the US alone). You may have reservations about the alternative meat products and their leap to mainstream dining, but I think itโs time to sort the hype from reality. Meat alternatives arenโt new, Meant to feel and taste like meat these products are aimed to be marketed to meat lovers and replace some of those cruel meat purchases. Perhaps this is what makes them so different from veggie burgers, which have typically been aimed mostly at vegetarians.
There is no denying that veggie burgers are a niche product aimed to satiate vegetarians. But today the makers of meatless meat are betting they can find their way onto everyoneโs plate. Whateverโฆfinding animal-free versions of your favorite meats are a great way to recreate nostalgic dishes without horrid animal suffering and environmental degradation. Feeling adventurous? Give these meaty meat-free alternatives a try and may be you could find vegan friends in your town!!
Jackfruit โChickenโ
Image source :’Kentucky Fried jackfruit’ by Veg life staff in theveglife.com on May 5, 2017.
Vegan meat made from jackfruit comes as a ready to eat alternative with texture and looks identical to chicken. Microwave it for a couple of minutes with half a cup of water and you are good to go. This fake meat is pitched as high in fiber, seasoned, and evenly spiced. It pairs well with flat bread or could be used as a filling in grilled sandwich or tossed into a salad.
Mock duck, mock fish fillets and mock pepper salami are sold as a pre processed faux meat that can be eaten grilled or sautรฉed. The products are made using soya, soya oil and soya protein, milk, wheat and wheat protein, and starch. High in fiber, some of these products do contain cholesterol from the milk and need to be frozen, and defrosted before use.
Wheat โMeatโ
Image source: ‘Basic Seitan – Wheat Meat (Vegan Meat Substitute)’ by Deborah Mackenzie in allrecipes.com.
Quite a few crowd pleasing nicheโ dining restaurants with a modern twist are these days serving burgers, sandwiches, salads, biryanis and a number of other โmuttonโ, โbeefโ, โduckโ and โchickenโ dishes made with mock meat created using wheat gluten, chickpea flour and flaxseeds
Vegan Fried Chicken
Image source: ‘ Fried โChickenโ’ by Yana Chistyakova in onegreenplanet.org.
Seriously! Itโs meaty, itโs flavorsome, moist inside and super crispy outside. A seitan recipe this one certainly does not work like one of those โspongy fake meatโ recipes doing the buzz around. With no sponginess and just a beautiful tender meatiness, this chicken is of next level. Gram flour and plant milk is used to make the egg mix โcloneโ and flour mix is gently spiced with old bay seasoning. The whole dish carries a vibe of buttermilk, thanks to added acidity of cider vinegar. This dish is a staple for most restaurant pantries serving vegan cuisine.
Shiitakes and Leeks stuffed Seitan Roast
Image source: ‘Seitan roast stuffed with Shiitakes and Leeks ‘ by Heather royal in Yummly.com.
A perfect centerpiece for your holiday table, this vegetarian roast is made from seitan (a soft ‘meaty’ food made from wheat gluten) which soaks up the flavours and juices of the seasoning and gravy. This easy and sumptuous roast is the perfect option for those who don’t want to miss a Thanksgiving classic dish. Flavors of fresh herbs and garlic and spilling meaty shiitake mushrooms and leeks would steal anybodyโs heart. Throw in a handful of pinto beans and you could give the seitan a thick, juicy texture. The bread crumbs will help to keep the stuffing from ending up all over your plate
Exquisitely spiced and remarkably resembling the โreal thingโ these vegan seitan steaks are deliciously textured, super high in protein and carry heaps of oomph! Fry these steaks in a regular pan, while brushing extra marinade sauce each time you flip them. Within minutes, you have a perfectly charred, caramelized and utterly delicious steak to dig in. Itโs super quick!
Vegan Turkey-Style Deli Slice
Image source: ‘ Vegan deli sliced turkey breast’ in 86eats.com on Feb. 7, 2020.
Bring your sandwiches to the next level with these homemade vegan deli meat slices! Moist, flavorful with perfect chew these slices are packed with flavor, easy to put together and cheap. Serve your holiday main course with gravy or sliced as deli meat for your favourite veggie sandwich. You could even enjoy a whole vegan turkey loaf with all the vegan fixings like potatoes, scalloped potatoes, mushroom gravy,stuffing,roasted veggies and Brussel sprouts, butternut squash, Mac and cheese, fresh buns, green salad and cranberry sauce.
This vegetarian turkey dish is made using vital wheat gluten and chickpeas, not tofu. Yes! Real meat turkey roasts are good, but even this one too has texture of a turkey and chews awesome!
This is a great vegan, cholesterol-free alternative to pork breakfast sausage. It’s very easy to make and can fill you up fast on a quick weekday breakfast. The secret of this sausage lies in itโs the spice profile. Donโt be fearful of that intimidating list of spices. Just reach into the spice rack and begin creating a master dish. In fact, savory tempeh breakfast sausage patties are the perfect way to kick start a new day. One great way to start the morning!!… snacking straight out of the fridge or routine busting โbreakfast for dinnerโ.
This healthy, oil free food yields the perfect no oil โfriedโ patties. Yet another thing that makes it so distinctively smart and tempting is the tempeh base which is processed with onion and mushroom using the binding of seitan.
Chicken-Fried Seitan Cutlet
Image source: ‘Best vegan chicken’ by Edgy Veg in theedgyveg.com on Aug. 4, 2020.
Crispy Vegan Chicken Cutlets that taste just like the real thing! These vegan chicken-style cutlets are made with chickpea seitan, which combines the chickpea with wheat gluten for a tender yet chewy and almost flakey cutlet. Pair them with a carb and a veggie for a hearty โmeat and potatoesโ dinner plate. Easy to make, this comfort food isperfect to use in any recipe that calls for chicken! A complete plant based, protein packed nutrition, it is an easy meatless way to a โmeatyโ meal that you will love to sit back, relax and eat happy.
โMeatlessโ alternative: Is this end of road for big meat?
The ubiquitous presence of faux meat in departmental stores could probably make you wonder what meat really is. Is our love for real meat really all about a set of nutrients? A certain flavour or texture? Or the desire for shared meals on special occasions, such as Christmas turkey and Easter lamb? Howsoever you judge things; one thing could weigh heavy on the way you look at things. Increased longevity and reduced disease risk comes from plants instead of animals.
As it turns out switching from animal based protein to vegan protein could have a positive effect on your wellbeing and health. The good news is that there are lots of protein rich alternatives to regular meat to experiment with. Besides you could do your bit in taking off the edge from a mindless cruelty to those miserable animals being slaughtered as fast as they are bred for a morsel of real meat, when surprisingly key amino acids are made by the plants and not animals? Real meat provides essential amino acids because the animals acquired them from plants at some point along the food chain. It simply doesnโt make sense to say we canโt get essential amino acids from plantsโitโs where they come from. If we can replicate some tastes and textures that are free of pain and harm to someone or anyone, well why not?
So, get acquainted with the best meat alternatives out there for these can work in any meal where you look for meat based protein. Sliced, diced or whizzed -vegan stews, curries, soups and salads, a host of these tasty meat free alternatives will keep you feeling full.
Above all, pat your back for you can now be โmeatyโ while being nothing like โactual meatyโ.
If you are wondering how to bring someoomphto your plate with a pep-up dish that is thick and flavorful and packed full of goodness without having to worry about the belly size, aplat du jourcreated out of this wonder grass could be the right choice for tonightโs menu.
Yeah, Itโs the bamboo shoots and they hymn health and wellness only!! Looking for flab loss or following ketogenic diet, packed with good amount of fiber, potassium, manganese and antioxidants these wonder shoots are your best bet when it comes tobone to brain health.
A plant with a thousand faces, this green gasoline of life is ranked among the five healthiest foods that are rich in nutrients, high on bioactive compounds, low in fat and calories and free from residual toxicity. Considered delicacy in up-scale markets, specialty restaurants and five stars dining, shoots from this golden grass are a common sight in Asian dining.
We all know that what we eat has a huge impact on our health. Eating poorly can lead to disease or shortened life span. โIโd say that 50% to 70% of suffering could be eliminated by what people eat and how they move. Heart disease, diabetes, cancer, hypertension all can be impacted,โsounds Elizabeth Somer, nutritionist and author of โThe Essential Guide to Vitamins and Minerals.โ
There are so many aspects of bamboo that make it different from other veggies and organic super foods, all well thought out and orchestrated by both chefs and nutritionists who extensively study health. Considered complete food because of the rich contents of proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins, fibers, and minerals and very low fat, bamboo juvenile shoots herd in more punch than usually believed. Phytosterols in young shoots when consumed are meant to make you feel sprightly and feisty and lend longevity to regular consumers! Phytosterols are similar in structure to cholesterol and are extensively found in plants. Their presence in fresh or fermented bamboo shoots is very prominent.
Freshly collected these shoots also have good amount of thiamine, niacin, vitamin A, vitamin B6, and vitamin E. The bamboo shoot based diets are rich source of dietary fibers, less cholesterol contents and contain 17 amino acids, 8 of which are essential for human body. Very little amount of fats and its low content makes them ideal to provide healthy nutrition to people with diabetic and cardio thoracic diseases. Low on glycemic index, the fermented bamboo shoots are also a hot favorite among those with GI and sugar related debility.
Hereโs a magical food for your skin!!
Bamboo leaves, shoots and roots are a unique source of natural silica and vitamins B and C. Bamboo leaves used topically or consumed as tea, boosts healthy hair growth and skin collagen. Using regularly would ensure young, firm and smoother skin tone! You could even try one of these remarkable remedies to rejuvenate your skin and looks.
Bamboo leaf solution pack
Brew bamboo leaves in a cup for water for 5 minutes. Sieve and apply once cooled. Wash off after 15 minutes. Great source of natural silica, bamboo works wonders in collagen production and skin cell renewal.
Bamboo and rice water pack
Mix boiling rice water in brewed and sieved bamboo leaf solution in equal proportions and use over face and neck once cooled. Wash off after 10 minutes. Rich in silica and vitamin-C this pack has high anti aging property and is extensively effective in reducing fine lines and age spots.
Bamboo water toner
One tbsp of bamboo leaves boiled in a cup of water and sprayed once cooled works as a quick and nutritious hydrating agent, just anytime on the go. A perfect skin toner, this is your best bet when you are looking for a quick remedy for tightening face pores and brightening dry and dull skin.
Bamboo honey mask
Mix some honey in brewed bamboo leaf solution and allow it to cool down. Apply it over the face and neck and wash it off after 15 minute. The difference will leave you wondering why the heck you didnโt try it before.
This super grass is a wellness warehouse!!
Bamboo tends to be much more than a restaurant. This weekend you have seen fresh bamboo shoots arriving at grocery counter in your neighborhood and found yourself wondering what one could do with these! Or, looking at a big pile of bamboo shoots in Produce department, you arenโt even sure what they are meant for.
Bamboo shoots are young, edible parts of the bamboo plant that spring out of the ground in the same fashion as asparagus. While some varieties are bitter and tough, a few others are sweet, tender, and much more abundant. Fresh bamboo shoots have a very delicate flavor, which is why it is often fermented first before being used for cooking. A storehouse of fiber and energy, these wonder shoots are extremely beneficial to strengthen the immune system and fight bad cholesterol, aid the digestive system, help lower the blood pressure and has an extra punch for those looking to shed some extra pounds.
Extremely low in calories and sugar and high on health benefits, bamboo shoots top the chart for many nutritionists as one of the most favored super food! You might have tried out canned bamboo shoots, but nothing compares to the fresh stuff. Some varieties are quite faintly bitter while others may be stronger. Blanch them in boiling water for a while and then soak in clean water for hours. Change water twice or three times before they are rid of bitter taste and are ready.
So, if you want to experiment with a new ingredient in your kitchen, here are a few delicious finger licking good bamboo shoot recipes you can try.
Bamboo shoot stir fry
Image source:’ Stir Fry Bamboo Shoots” in cooktube.in.
This recipe is prepared from the stemmed out bamboo shoots. This stir fry dish is a simple one that can be prepared on a weekday for dinner or packed away for lunch boxes. Serve flat bread as a side dish with rice and curry, they all pairs so well with this nouvelle cuisine!
Braised bamboo shoots with soy sauce and sugar
Image source: ‘Braised bamboo shoots in sweet soy sauce’ by Wendy Kiang-Spray’ in wendykiangspray.com on Ap.22, 2017.
Spring is round the corner and fresh bamboo shoot will be out soon. Itโs one magic ingredient that is used in soups, stir-fries, stews, hot pot, salad and pickles. You canโt image how popular it is in the Far East. Add some to your pickling jar or to a pot of healthymeat analogue soup and I am sure you would love it. Try it in salad or fry with vegan meat and almost everyone in the family would love it.
Stir-fried mushrooms and bamboo shoots
Image source: ‘Stir Fried Mushrooms and Bamboo Shoots’ in pininterest.com.
This is a quick and easy dish that combines tinned oyster mushrooms, tofu puffs, bamboo shoots and bean sprouts in a light sauce. Yet another variant is oyster and soy sauce enriched mushrooms served with stuffed bamboo shoots and cabbage that could leave you wanting more. You could even try stuffing bamboo shoots with the pumpkin or the winter melon and cut horizontally into 4 -5 portions before the serve.
Braised bamboo shoots soup
Image source: ‘Bamboo shoot miso soup recipe’ in misosoup.site on Feb. 14, 2019.
Fresh bamboo shoots make incredibly flavorful, clear soup with few ingredients. The flavors and natural sweetness come straight from the fresh bamboo shoot. With fresh ones you can even play around with shapes. They are easy to cut out and will even please the youngest of your family. Children tend to eat more or at least try their favorite shapes; a heart or bunny actually tastes better than a rectangle or round piece!!
Sometimes a simple recipe tastes best when youโre exploring a new ingredient in the kitchen. This one could be a good introduction of an amazing grass to your Wok.
Seasonal salad with bamboo shoots
Image source:’ Bamboo shoot salad’ by azianswagz in pininterest.com.
A simple salad is always a good way to enjoy fresh, local food. This one has just a few ingredients, and allows the flavors of the sweet peas, kale, and bamboo shoots to really stand out.
Talk of flavors; fresh bamboo shoot has a very delicate one, which is why it is often fermented first before being used for cooking. During the fermentation, pungency builds up which when paired with chilies, oil and other ingredients creates a moreish salad dish. You could use this to create curries pickles and stir-fries of your choice as well.
Vegan dumplings with bamboo shoots
Image source: ‘Around the World in 7 Vegan Dumplings’ in onegreenplanet.org.
These little parcels do deliver – and they’re fun and so easy to make! When finely diced, bamboo shoots add the perfect bit of crunch to steamed or boiled dumplings. Serve these up with some spicy chili sauce and a light side salad or edamame or with a dipping sauce such as black vinegar, soy sauce, plum sauce, sweet and sour sauce or sweet chili sauce.
Bamboo Spring rolls
Image source : ‘Bamboo Shoot Spring Rolls’ in unileverfoodsolutions.co.id.
Stuffed with a mixture of bamboo shoot, carrot, string bean, mushroom, shallot, garlic, ginger, celery, and leek, these spring rolls so fashioned out that there can’t be leftovers even for a single-bite.
Edamame bamboo shoot stir fry
Image source:’ Edamame Bamboo Shoot Stir Fry’ by Melissa Tedesco in onegreenplanet.org.
The balanced flavors and ingredients give this 10 minute edamame bamboo shoot stir fry all it needs to replenish your body. It is a great alternative to getting takeouts on busy nights, for this one travels fast from pan to platter. Fill your home with the amazing aroma of ginger and your belly with a wholesome dish.
Fried rice with bamboo shoots
Image source: ‘ Bamboo shoot fried rice’ by J Sujatha in beta.lekhafoods.com on Dec. 20, 2012.
This dish can also be made with leftover rice and whatever veggies you have in the fridge but stir fried celery, mushrooms and green capsicum seasoned with soy sauce and then mixed with pre cooked chilled rice elevate this dish to one bursting with flavors. Mix in the onion, garlic and cottage cheese or eggs and you have an indulgent dish at your table. โBoil in bagโ rice and a bag of stir fried veggies could even cut back the prep time. If you donโt have snow peas, even regular frozen ones wouldnโt tweak the taste. Add a bit of extra soy sauce at the end and enjoy!
Bamboo shoot curry
Image source: ‘How to make Bamboo Shoot Curry – A Sikkim Delicacy (Vegan – Gluten and Dairy Free)’ by Jyoti in youtube.com on Aug. 31, 2019.
Bamboo shoots arenโt just for pandas anymore! In fact, fresh bamboo shoots are considered quite a delicacy. Stir fried minced garlic, onion, red chili, mustard seeds and curry leaves, once mixed with bamboo shoots and coconut paste and then simmered on medium heat for 15 minutes leave behind a thick, bright colored mouthwatering curry with a leafy aroma. Add rice flour/ powder for an earthy texture to this delightful flavorsome curry.
Bamboo shoot n’ pumpkin flower curry
Image source: ‘Bamboo shoot n’ pumpkin flower curry’ in delightsum.com on Mar. 4, 2020.
One of the revered traditional family recipes, this one tastes delicious and is ready in flat 20 minutes. The combination of pumpkin flower and bamboo shoot with tangy mustard flavor makes the dish more rich and heavenly. It goes well with flat bread, paratha (a type of SouthAsianflat unleavened bread resembling a small naan that is pan fried or baked in a tandoor ) or steamed rice.
From harvest to table- The super food effect is unmistakable
From vegan chops and cutlets to chicken red curry, fish curry, beef and bamboo shoot curry, shrimp curry, pork and bamboo shoots recipe; this wonder veggie pairs so well with a flexitarian diet, when it comes to eating for your wellness being. With just 13 calories in a single cup, bamboo shoots are a great choice if youโre looking to lose weight. Fiber in shoots moves through the body slowly and promotes satiety between meals to curb cravings. Low in calories and high on fiber, this grass does support weight loss.
Besides, eating more fiber improves digestive health too. In fact, it helps in preventing acid reflux, hemorrhoids, diverticulitis and stomach ulcers. Adding bamboo shoots to your diet could potentially reduce cholesterol levels too. Some canned varieties, though may be high on sodium. So, if youโre following a low-sodium diet, look around for low-sodium products whenever possible or rinse off the shoots thoroughly before consuming. For the uninitiated, bamboo shoots are the power kegs that come loaded with nutrients and are a healthy alternative to rice and wheat.
Whateverโฆ for once try theseWoks of Liferecipes. Itโs hard to believe but these shoots could actually be good for your wellbeing. Dig into a savory, umami filling of shiitake mushrooms, bamboo shoots, and carrots wrapped inside layers of bean curd skin, steamed, pan-fried or braised. When sliced, you could almost swear it looks like slices of Chinese roast duck!
But just because this โduckโ is vegan, doesnโt mean itโs any less super special to be on your dinner menu tonight!!
If you are wondering how to bring zing to your plate in 20 minutes with something that is thick and flavorful, is packed full of goodness and is free of heavy animal products, delicious vegan curries could be the right choice for tonightโs menu. If youโre counting on calories, these guilt-free curries all come under 400 calories and still pack flavors. So put down that take-away menu and try one of these low-calorie protein rich curries instead. Vegetarian and low on spice these incredible curries will leave you bewitched!!
Itโs hard to believe but curries could actually be good for your wellbeing. From easing arthritis to protecting from Alzheimer, the list is surprisingly overwhelming. If you look at the medicinal effects of spices that go into curry making; turmeric, cumin, allspice, cardamom, ginger, garlic and capsicum all are fired with strong anti-bacterial properties. Working as good preservatives garlic, cinnamon and cumin could even get rid of 80 percent of meat borne bacteria while ginger slows down bacterial growth by as much as 25 percent.
So whatโs there that make vegan curries so good when it comes to minding your health. Why are these respected as an all time pepped up feast that never falls flat?
Letโs find out;
Ginger
One of the main ingredients in a lip smacking vegan curry, ginger contains antioxidant zingerone that reacts with radicals which cause tissue damage and joint inflammation, Works well to relieve the arthritis pain! The other two antioxidants viz. gingerol and shogaolare traditional cold remedies and works best when consumed as raw ginger extract.
Curcumin
This is a primary active compound of turmeric found in curry powders, and often used neat, it slows down the plaque formation in the brain, the primary cause of Alzheimer. Strong on anti inflammatory properties it pairs well with GI tract, guards against heart attacks and prevents cancer of the colon.
Onions
Onions contain an agent called diallyl sulfidethat encourages the body to make more of the cancer-fighting molecule glutathione-S-transferase. These enzymes work to detoxify the harmful stomach bacteria and promote digestion.
Garlic
Besides helping in lowering cholesterol, garlic also contains a potent anti-cancer agent called Allicin that shields stomach from cancer by pushing the production of protective enzymes.
Cumin
Cumin contains phytochemicals that combine with vitamins and other nutrients in food to prevent cancer and heart ailments by blocking various metabolic pathways. Caraveland Limonene, two major anti carcinogen agents retard the growth of prostate cancer.
Allspice
Allspice also known as Kabab Chinni is a berry-based spice used in a lot of Indian cooking and contains eugenol, an antioxidant that builds up trypsina digestive enzyme and so are all friends to GI tract.
Capsicum
Capsicum the main phytochemical found in red peppers is an anti inflammatory agent which helps reduce cholesterol formation and also a major constituent in topical formulations for arthritis relief. Eating it raw though doesnโt always work the same way.
Cardamom
A strong antiseptic and antimicrobial spice, cardamom comes in seeds, is a mild aphrodisiac and helps in soothing an irritable intestinal tract.
Coriander
Considered a strong anti-inflammatory agent this spice is capable of reducing symptoms of inflammatory GI tract diseases.
These one-pot curries know how to pep up your menu!
More often coming in bright golden hue and complex flavors, curry is an amazing choice for so many reasons. It warms you up, make you feel full and adds some zing to your plate. And there is a bonus too! Itโs quite healthy and wholesome. Scoring big over Paleo recipes, curries could probably win you over if vegan diets become more your thing. Yep, there are whole lots of plant based curries that are easy to make and quickly leave the cooker. Just one pot or pan and flat 30 minutes could whip up flavors that may leave you looking for more!
If the thought of ethnic food stirs you up and if the idea of stepping out of the box no longer intimidates you; its time you tried a perfect Indian curry dish. If you have experienced Indian food, you know just how delicious a vegetarian dish could be! If you havenโt, curry is the perfect recipe to start with at home. Yeah! And if you do Meatless Mondays, this could work up a terrific fare. It is so healthy and there are so many vegetarian variations you could do with it; just about any veggie works well.
Here are 12 crazy delicious vegan curries to tickle your fancy and tempt you to fix some space for one of these on tonightโs dinner table !
Red Lentil ( Masoor dal) Curry
Image source: ‘Healthy Low-Sodium Red Lentil Curry’ by Susan Edelman in onegreenplanet.org.
No one wants to spend the evening washing a pile of dirty dishes. No worries!! You can cook this curry in only one pot. Even better, you can have this flavorful curry on the table in less than 30 minutes. I canโt think of a better way to eat dinner than this quick, healthy, and delicious one-pot curried lentil recipe!
With 126 calories per serving of 1 cup (100 grams), this curry has 6.2grams of protein, 4.2 grams of fats, 416 mg. of sodium, 15.9grams of carbs, vitamin A and C, fatty acids, amino acids, 28 mg calcium and 1.9 mg of iron.
Pigeon pea Curry
Image source: Cumin-Scented Pigeon Peas with Mango (Mango Curry with Toor Dal)’ in tastespace.wordpress.com on April 21, 2012.
Pigeon pea( Dal in Hindi) is easily known and referred to as split pulse (lentils, beans or peas). This curry bets on yellow peas, blending alongside the flavors of cumin, mustard, onion, chilies and fresh ginger. A brilliant go-to dinner recipe on lazy, gray days, this curry is cheap, healthy, flavorful and heavy on protein and goes easy on fat. Complete with exotic flavors a bowl of this warm filling curry tastes amazing and is good enough to become your daily staple food. Each 100 grams serving contains 3.3 grams of fat, 16.9 grams of carbs, 3 grams of fiber and 6.9 grams of protein, < 0.1 gram of salt and 439 mg of potassium. What more could you ask for?
Coconut Quinoa curry
Image source: ‘Vegetarian Green Coconut Curry with Quinoa’ by Kristen Stevens in foodandwine.com in Feb. 2014.
This recipe requires one pot only; your slow cooker. Just pitch in some sweet potatoes, broccoli, quinoa, chickpeas and coconut milk into your slow cooker along with some spices, and turn it on. Flat 30 minutes active time in kitchen and a delicious aromatic treat is ready!. Each 100 gram serve carries 140 calories, 4.00 grams of proteins, 5.70 grams of fat, 14.40 grams of carbs, 2.50 grams of fiber besides 2.90 grams of sugar and zero cholesterol.
Curried Quinoa with Butternut squash and Chickpeas
Image source: ‘Squash, Spinach & Chickpea Curry with Turmeric Blend’ by Lisa Turner in cleaneatingmag.com.
Butternut squash is a hearty and super healthy way to add some oomph to plant-based recipes like this one. Itโs a perfect 25 minute star dish for weeknight dinner and great for getting rid of any veggies hanging around your fridge. Once done garnish the dish with fresh parsley and youโre good to go. Try this curry with rice and naan, though brown rice particularly tastes good with this curry. Each portion (245 grams serves 4) carries 236 calories, 36.5 grams of carb, 6.5 grams of protein, 8.2 grams of fat, 105 mg of calcium and 3 mg of iron besides 602 mg of sodium and 683 mg of potassium.
Coconut Chickpea curry
Image source: ‘Easy Chickpea Coconut curry soup’ in cearaskitchen.com on Jan.24, 2018.
This curry is one healthy source of fat that could leave you feeling full and satisfied. Throw in some chickpeas, coconut milk and fresh veggies and youโve got a super healthy meal to tide you over. If you are searching for a curry recipe that is heavy on proteins but light on the heat โ look no further. Each 100 gram serves 148 calories and brags of 6 grams of fat, 17.6 grams of carbs, 6 grams of protein, 3.3mg of iron, vitamin A and C and 51 mg of calcium.
Spicy Chickpea -Cauliflower Tandoori
Image source: ‘Spicy Chickpea and Cauliflower Tandoori’ by LiveKindly in livekindly.co.
If you are a protein buff then a bowl of this savory curry could be the right choice for you. Easy and colorful this recipe contains a whopping 23 grams of protein per portion. Itโs also got heaps of fiber and serves you yummy nutrients. Drop in a pinch of asafetida and bit of dried chili to push the flavors without burning your taste buds off. โAre you sacred of chilies?โ Not always hot, capsaicinoids in chilies add great flavors, work as metabolic enhancer and are rich in vitamin- A & C and minerals like iron potassium. And whatโs not to love about this devilish fruit that pips in anti oxidant stuff too?
Thick and flavorful, this recipe packs in enormous goodness and could leave you a lot happier and contented.
Thai Noodle Curry
Image source: ‘Spicy Vegan Thai Curry Noodle Soup’ by Jalisha in eatingveganwithme.com.
This curry is more like a cross between a Thai curry dish and a Thai noodle dish. Rice noodles, red curry paste and coconut milk all come together to stir up a deliciously creamy noodle bowl; and it all comes together in less than 30 minutes! If youโre looking for a protein to pair with this then Thai Coconut curry tofu would blend perfectly with it. Naturally vegan, gluten free, creamy and packed with veggies, coconut milk and spices in this curry turn it into a gleeful warming family meal. Loving the sound of that? I โm sure your guests will too! Nutrition wise, it fares evenly. Each 100 grams serves 58 calories, 1.50 grams of protein, 10.70 grams of carbs, 0.60 gram of fat, zero cholesterol, vitamins and minerals that include essentials like iodine, zinc, potassium, sodium and calcium.
Sweet Potato, Chickpea, and Spinach Curry
Image source: ‘Sweet potato, Chickpea and Spinach Jalfrezi curry’ in supervalu.ie.
If you think that vegan food equals bland food, then this curry will prove you all wrongand itโs so simple to make! Low on fat and calories, this one-pot curry is full of sunshine flavors and could make you long for more. With all the goodness of sweetpotatoes, chickpeas, spinach, and coconut milk, it is seasoned with Indian spices like garam masala, turmeric, cumin and dried chilies and cooked into a creamy, rich, fragrant and hot treat in under 30 minutes. It’s mild enough for the kids to enjoy, but still packs a punch!Each one bowl serve (245 grams) packs 293 calories, 5.1 grams of protein, 22.3 grams of fat and 515 mg of sodium.
Chana( Garbanzo bean) Masala Curry
Image source: ‘Super Easy Chole Masala / Chana Masala recipe’ by Bharat Wadhwa in bharatzkitchen.com.
Authentic Chana masala curry is typically made with grounded whole spices and dried mango powder. These are cooked in some oil to bring out the best of flavor and fragrance. Garam masala options are the traditional ones and you could actually experience a delightful sensory overload. Blended mix of coriander, cumin, cardamom (green and black), cinnamon, black pepper, cloves, and other spices lends an unforgettable tone and turn the curry into a quality bite in under 30 minutes. If you are looking for shortcut to a rich, long simmered flavor, use whole tomatoes crushed in the curry. Diced tomatoes give more chunky results. And what more! If you add some baby spinach, your dinner bowl turns all colorful and nutritious!
Nutrition wise, a 245 grams one bowl portion (serves 4) carries 443 calories, 12.1 grams of fat, 74 grams of carbohydrate, 15.2 grams of protein , 65 mg of sodium, vitamin A, B , E , K1 and C, folic acid, niacin, riboflavin, calcium, iron, magnesium and host of other nutrients.
Citrus Pumpkin Curry
Image source: ‘Tangy Tamarind Pumpkin Curry Recipe’ by Pooja Thakur in archanaskitchen.com on Nov.7, 2016.
If youโve been to a grocery store lately, you probably have figured out by now that the pumpkin spice fetish is these days bigger than ever.
Pumpkins are a type of winter squash (like acorn and butternut) and a part of the gourd family and the Indian way of cooking it leaves a mesmerizing tingling aftertaste.
A unique gluten free curry it combines the sweetness of the winter squash with the savory-spiced flavor of curry. it is an enchanting display of bright colors โ orange, yellow, and red โ infused with citrus accents which are a due change from potatoes and chickpeas. Itโs as beautiful as it is delicious and offers a unique blend of veggies -both sweet and savory.
Pumpkin curry in fact is a warming match appropriate for the crisp days when pumpkins and other winter squashes come to harvest. It is best cooked until just tender but not mushy. Baking and braising (or sautรฉed until lightly browned) are the best ways to cook it.
The nutrition profile of pumpkin is pretty stately too . Itโs packed with fiber, vitamins and mineralsโincluding more potassium than a medium banana! One-cup serving of pumpkin curry has 50 calories, 2 grams of protein, 12 grams of carbs, 3 grams of fiber, vitamins and includes minerals like potassium, zinc and phosphorus. The show grabber though, are the carotenoid compounds that give the pumpkin its bright orange color. One of these- the anti oxidant beta carotene- potentially reduces risk to quite a few major diseases.
Mushroom Matar ( Pea) Masala
Image source: ‘Restaurant Style Matar Mushroom Masala’ by Neetu Suresh in cookpad.com .
Mushrooms bring different texture and earthy flavor to this vegan, gluten free, soy free Indian curry where they pair well with peas and make a rather unbeatable combination that is hearty and healthy. You could make the sauce even creamier by adding cashew nut paste and tangier with more tomatoes. A dash of spinach makes it a satisfying flavorful meal that is up for grabs in flat 20 minutes . Pumpkin seeds, silken tofu or plain unsweetened yoghurt could make it even more delicious. One cup serve (230 grams) carries 156 calories, 9.4 grams of fat, 17 grams of carbs, 5 grams of protein and vitamin A and C, calcium and iron in significant amounts.
Red Kidney bean curry
Image source: ‘ Red kidney bean, chili & ginger curry’ in taste.com.au.
Imagine buttery soft kidney beans simmering in a curry base flecked with lightly caramelized onion and garlic with rich coriander and tomato aroma assaulting your senses!! This curry is perfect served with fragrant basmati rice garnished with cilantro and minced red onion. You could add a bit of mint for that extra freshness. Blending spiced tomato sauce with fresh coriander turns the dish a beautiful bright red orange color. This curry tastes heavenly when freshly grounded black pepper in it, builds up as you eat. Nutrition wise, each 100 gram serve carries130 calories and contains 14 grams of carbs, 6 grams of fat, 5 grams of protein, 410 mg sodium, vitamin A (2%)and C ( 6%) and calcium and iron ( 8% each).
If only there was a better way to eat for your well being!
Not many meat lovers find meat curries healthy either. Kormas and pasandas (a popular meat dish from the Indian subcontinent) for instance though delectable contain frightening amounts of cream. The average chicken tikka masala contains about 1,500 calories. Dishes such as rogan josh, madras curry, jalfrezi and sags (with spinach) are no less creamy but make it to the plate for carrying just as many healthy spices.
This leaves the least fattening combination of one of these vegan curries with steamed and lightly garnished rice, or anything oven baked (tandori) coated in yoghurt and spices but not fried.
To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art
Yeah, you have heard this before! For many of us the insufficiency of a vegetarian diet and hazards of non veg foods is both in a way accurate and inaccurate at the same time. Besides the verdict varies between us. If you think that ditching meat or switching to some other source means you will automatically land up with equal or better source of nutrition, then you are off target.
That ethical take on vegan vs non- veg issue aside, if you were to swear off the meat and animal products, would that mean a โmagicalโ weight loss and a healthy you? Certainly not. Very few of us get to choose between vegan, vegetarian / non vegetarian way of food habits. Everyone in fact just keeps eating what their family chose for them since childhood.
So, itโs for you to choose between fried meaty treats and healthy delicious plant based foods. You could always brush aside that buzz over taste, smell and texture and dig in what you like most. After all healthy food doesnโt have to be boring. But you would do well if you sleep on this;if your co worker is noshing heavy meat burgers and fries every day, is he or she likely to be healthier than you?
Good plant based foods are out there that could feed your muscles with more proteins than you would have thought!
You wouldnโt have dreamed of turning from villain to warrior in one bound? Or have you thought of turning yourself into a protein powerhouse? Sounds more like a feat hard to come by for many of us who are riveted more to mindful eating and intensely deliberate over food choices. We regularly search for nutritional benefits in food we eat and look around for ingredients that are impressive with macronutrients.
Clearly buzz of years means differently to different people. A vegetarian diet โcan be nutritionally superior to any other way of eating,โ says Tallmadge. โIt can be one of the healthiest ways to eat, because we know plant foods are loaded with nutrients to protect our health.โ
So does ditching meat automatically mean equal or better source of nutrition? Will it help us to live longerand be healthier overall?
Let’s find out.
Proteins go to polls!
Proteins, like fats and carbohydrates are the most enviable energy source and are found in every cell. When viewed as a โnutrient of interest,โ protein wrests with other macronutrients for first place in vitality.
Human body is known to require 20 different amino acids and our body synthesizes only 11 of them (usually non essential ones). So, we must get remaining 9 essential amino acids from other sources. Traditionally animal proteins like meat, eggs and milk are considered complete proteins, meaning they provide all of the essential amino acids our body needs.
But there are plenty of plant based proteins sources out there as well. Beans, legumes, nuts, seeds, quinoa, leafy greens such as broccoli and kale and whole grains are excellent sources of protein. Some of them like Quinoa contain all the 9 essential amino acids that we need. Besides plant proteins run lower risk of causing carcinoma and type 2 diabetes.
As winter drags on and social distancing remain an unavoidable annoyance everywhere, we all look around for that little dose of happiness. While reaching out for a pint of ice cream or grabbing that extra slice of red meat might make you feel good in the short run, the rush you get from these caloric choices could leave you at the disappointing end of rush and nothing to show for it.
However, there are plant based foods that could make you feel happier, typically by lifting your mood or help in staving off depression or anxiety without having a negative impact on your waistline or health. For those among us who wish to avoid animal-related food product and look for more health-conscious options, vegetarian substitutes are a great way to make the real cut.
Besides, it is also an easy way to save the animals and the cruelty that goes with it. Vegan, vegetarian, or a meat eater; if you look around for healthy super food options, these protein surrogates are a great way to swap meat without settling for less.
Black Beans
Image source: ‘Comforting Black Beans’ by Lola Milne in splendidtable.org
Packed with fiber, potassium, folate, vitamin- B6 and phytonutrients, black beans are a good source of anti oxidants and work hard on anti inflammatory properties. You could replace shredded beef or chicken as the main ingredient or use these beans as a base for veg burger Pattie. Each one cup serve carries 15 grams of protein which is equivalent to 50 gram of pork loin or 80 gram of chicken drumsticks.
Butter beans
Image source:’ Southern Style Butter Beans – Baby Lima Beans’ in ddepsouthdish.com on Jul.26,2016
Delicate in texture and starchy yet buttery in consistency, these beans are one serious ingredient for great many recipes. Excellent source of minerals like iron, copper, manganese, calcium, magnesium and potassium, each one cup (128 grams) serve measures equivalent to ยฝ cup (64 grams) of scrambled eggs. One of the favorite substitutes for meats in homemade veg burgers, this bean is also the vegan option for soups that share meat in their recipes.
Soybean
Image source: ‘8 reasons why you should add soya to your daily diet’ by Mohsina Dodhiya in totallyveganbuzz.com on May 28, 2020
Soybean sources nearly as many essential amino acids as animal proteins. Fresh version is available as edamame while yellow ones are the mature beans. A good source of protein โone cup serve is equivalent to 75 gram portion of salmon or 180 grams of cottage cheese- soybeans also lay out a happy dose of B-vitamins. Considered as a main stream meat substitute, itโs a good aromatic swap for chicken and to a variety of dishes, from Asian stir fries to BBQ and even as a vegan substitute for scrambled eggs.
Replacing animal protein with soy protein is a smashing way to reduce body weight, manage blood sugar and get rid of bad cholesterol and triglycerides. One serving a day (one cup soymilk, ยฝ cup tofu or soybeans) is also effective for cancer prevention. The phytochemicals in soy prevent tumors from creating blood vessels and thus impede tumor growth.
Buckwheat
Image source: ‘How to Cook Buckwheat: Learn About the Versatile Grain’ in masterclass.com on Nov. 8, 2020.
This is a gluten free energizing and nutritious alternative to carbs like white rice. One cup serve of this super food has 6 grams of protein which is equivalent to one large egg. Buckwheat granola or pancakes could be a breakfast favorite if you pair them with coconut milk. Great to taste when added to raw deserts, cereals and home-made muesli bars, buckwheat is an incredibly healthy and nutritious food. You can also toss them through soups, salads and well practically any dish you like, as the taste is mild and slightly nutty.
Quinoa
Image source: ‘Is Quinoa Good for You? Everything You Need to Know About the Superfood’ by Katie Robinson in everydayhealth.com on Jul. 8, 2019
One among the few plants that could provide you with all the 9 essential amino acids, one cup serving of this gluten free, high protein food has โmore bounce for an ounceโ value and measures up to one slice of non-fat mozzarella cheese. High on fiber, quinoa is good on manganese, B-vitamins, iron, potassium, calcium, phosphorus, vitamin-E and whole lot of anti oxidants. Quinoa tastes heavenly in soups and stews. Since it has low glycemic value, you could swap it for ground beef in burger or BBQ sandwich. Try a vegan quinoa scramble for breakfast and you would be bowled over by its flavorsome tang.
Tempeh
Image source: ‘How to make tempeh with white beans from scratch’ in maricelsvegancrush.com on Sep. 18, 2018.
Tempeh, a rich source of complete protein, is a traditional Indonesian fermented food. It is made by cooking soybeans and fermenting them with a starter culture or mold called rhizopus oryzae for at least 2 days. Fermentation over, the soybeans get stuck together into a dense cake by a white mold. It then becomes sliceable and could be pan fried like tofu. Fermented and easy to digest, tempeh is an excellent meat substitute and looks and tastes incredible. Sweet & sour chicken, BBQ sandwich or chicken nuggets; you could replicate all with vegan and vegan friendly tempeh. Each 100 gram of this wonder food contains 20 gram of protein and is equivalent to 30 gram protein in 100 grams of chicken breast.
Hummus
Image source: ‘Hummus With Tahini’ by Anita Schecter in thespruceeats.com on Ap.7, 2019.
Surprisingly one of the easiest dishes, you can make this high fiber, low glycemic super dip all by yourself by blending chickpeas, a garlic clove, extra virgin oil, tahini (a paste made from sesame seeds, olive or vegetable oil and salt), lemon juice and salt. This amazingly tasty dip is an ideal vegan swap for traditional meat pateโ. It also pairs well with sandwich as delectable spread and could replace meat, cheese and other calorie packed spreads and dressings. Each 100 gram serve has 8 grams of protein and is equivalent to one cup of skimmed milk or three spoonful of minced beef.
Ezekiel bread
Image source: ‘Why Ezekiel Bread is the Healthy Bread Everyone is Obsessed With’ by Lindsay D. Mattison in tasteofhome.com on May 30, 2020.
Ezekiel bread is a delicious, flourless loaf made from sprouted whole grains and legumes including millet, barley, spelt, wheat, soybeans and lentils. Itโs named after the Old Testament verse Ezekiel 4:9, which reads: โTake wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself.โ Rich in flavor and dense in texture, one slice of this bread contains 4 grams of protein. A complete source of all essential amino acids it goes easy on the gut since sprouting process breaks down starches and releases enzymes that rejig carbohydrates. Sprouting also unlocks vitamins and minerals that turn them savory too.
Lentils
Image source: ‘Herbed Lentils with Spinach and Tomatoes’ by Ellie Krieger in foodnetwork.com
Typically legumes, lentils are high in fiber, magnesium, potassium, iron, folate, copper, manganese, and various other nutrients. These are among the best sources of plant-based protein and an excellent choice for vegetarians and vegans. Each serve of one cup (200 grams) of boiled lentils contains 18 grams of protein. Other high protein legumes that serve equally well include soybeans, kidney beans and chickpeas.
Brussel sprouts
Image source: ‘Roasted Brussels Sprouts’ by Jaqatac in .allrecipes.com
Bursting with vitamin-C and cancer-fighting glucosinolates, Brussels sprouts are one of the most potent cold-weather super foods. Mere half cup (78 grams) of this high protein veggie could provide you 2 grams of protein. โNo! You wouldnโt gag over the offensive smell of cruciferous veggies cooking or mushy middlesโ. Simply season the sprouts with salt, pepper and olive oil or you could add 2 cloves of crushed garlic and slow roast at 425 degrees for fifteen minutes until darkest brown. You could even splash a bit of balsamic vinegar on top to make it more exciting. You will love them!! Even picky eaters wonโt say no to this amazing cook.
Jackfruit
Image source: ‘What is jackfruit and how do I use it?’ in wtop.com on Nov. 7, 2019.
This could turn out to be your vegan favorite. Jackfruit might be huge in places like Philippines, India, and Indonesia. A single fruit can weigh up to 100 lbs. Resembling meat in texture( flesh is all fibrous) with somewhat similar looks, it has mild flavors and is easy to spice and cook. It is all rage for vegan tacos, nachos, pork sandwiches, curry and a number of Asian recipes. Do try it as itโs a unique experience and packs nearly 3 grams of protein per cup. Itโs also up there in vitamin-C and fiber and rivals bananas for potassium.
Guava
Image source: ‘Pexel free media library in wordpress.com.
With 4.2 grams of protein per cup, guava definitely tops the list of high protein fruits. If thatโs not enough, guava serves 4 times your daily vitamin-C needs in a single serving!! Eat all by itself, add it to sweeten a smoothie, pair it with Greek yogurt or simply mix with fruit salads for a perky and protein-rich new taste. Packed with antioxidants this fruit is an excellent source of fiber.
Avocado
Image source: ‘The avocado craze’ by Dr. Phil Maffetone in philmaffetone.com on JUl. 9, 2019.
A close second to guava in the protein stakes with an impressive 4 grams per cup, avocado is a perfect breakfast that is genuinely delicious and could turn a simple toast into a healthy flavorsome meal. A show stopper in salads, avocado is also one versatile food that pairs well with your nutrition requirements.
Dried Apricot
Image source:’ 15 Health Benefits of Dried Apricots (and Nutrition Facts)’ by Martha Piccolo in dryingallfoods.com
โDried?โ This could put you off, but surprisingly this one is far more loaded with protein than a ripe wet one with 2.2 grams per one cup serve. You could munch them down straight from the pack or mix them into your breakfast cereal.
Almonds
Image source:’ Almonds Arenโt Nuts, Theyโre Fruit‘ by Holly Van Hare in thedailymeal.com on Oct. 16, 2017.
Each ยผ cup serving of this wonder nut contains 12 grams of protein or equivalent to one cup of full fat milk if you choose one tbsp of almond butter. Energy rich almonds also contain nutrients, minerals and antioxidants and source protein, calcium, magnesium and iron too. Since the almond butter pairs well with fruits like apple, pears or banana, you could stir a spoonful in your smoothie, spread on toast or lick straight out of jar.
Kiwi fruit
Image source: ‘8 facts about Kiwi Fruit’ in fruitrunner.co.uk on Jun. 21, 2017
Savor a Kiwifruit if you havenโt done so far and experience a magical sensory explosion of flavor that would leave you searching for more. It contains a fairly respectable 2.1 grams of protein per cup, not to mention nearly twice your daily requirement of vitamin-C. Simply cut one in half and dig in. You wonโt regret it!
Blackberries
Image source:’ Blackberry Plant Profile’ by Jamie McIntosh in thespruce.com on Sep. 25, 2020.
With 2 grams of protein per cup serving, we could be staring at the bottom of the protein vat, but blackberries still have more to offer which is enough to make to our favoriteโs list. They pack in plenty of fiber, vitamins and minerals for a good healthy snack.
Pumpkin seeds
Image source:’ What are the health benefits of pumpkin seeds? ‘in medicalnewstoday.com.
Image source:’ What are the health benefits of pumpkin seeds? ‘in medicalnewstoday.com.
Pumpkin seeds, also known as pepitas, can be tucked away with or without shells. Once scooped out of the pumpkin and freed of flesh, this super food turns into a delightful snack when light spices are added and then roasted for 15-20 minutes at 350 degrees. Whole roasted pumpkin seeds in their shells contain about 5.2 grams of fiber per serving, while shelled one contain just 1.8 grams.
Rich in other nutrients, including magnesium, a quarter cup of pumpkin seeds pack nearly 42 percent of a person’s recommended daily intake of magnesium and 9 grams of protein.
Thatโs not meat protein yet is dependable and so easy to cook!!
For someone who doesn’t eat meat, itโs exciting to try Beyond Meat Burger and to see if it really lives up to its name. The plant-based burger looks, cooks and makes the grade like beef. Carrying all the juicy, meaty deliciousness of a traditional burger, this super food comes with the upsides of a plant-based meal. If it does fit in to your choice, the elegant burger that looks and tastes like meat will actually have 20 grams of delicious fatty plant-based protein that could leave you wondering if itโs made out of plants!
To every meat lover who asks you where you get your protein from โ the answers could be confusing and may sound a bit thick. For meat lovers anything vegetarian or vegan has little nutritional value, is ridiculously bland and not a perfect meal for those who are always on the go.
Vegetarians on the other hand associate their foods to a lower risk of heart disease and low-density lipoprotein cholesterol which could help in managing blood pressure, hypertension and type 2 diabetes. These are the people who buck the trend to have lower body mass index, lower overall cancer rates and lower risk of chronic diseases.
Whatever…Good taste or easy protein, there is certainly no call for veg vs non-veg. What matters most is, how you choose between sustainable foods that are flush with proteins especially when there is no oneprotein like โone size fits allโ.
So, choose smart, make peace with your plate and eat healthy!!ย
Hard times or weariness in relationships is like a sandpaper being rubbed on a fresh wound and you wouldnโt know whether to plaster it or just let the fresh air heal the wound.
Image source: ‘How I Healed My Strained Relationship with My Mother’ by Jennifer Cochran in tinybuddha.com
At one point or the other we all face a wide range of ups and downs in our relationships. Nothing unusual there if you experience a difficult period, especially when illness or financial worries have pushed you in a catch 22 spot. Marital hiccups are though known to run high and could make a mess of your relationship any time sooner than you could have guessed.
One foremost problem for disconnect is gradually disappearing physical intimacy and whenever that happens, troubles mushroom. We tend to forget that level of desire wax and wane throughout life for each one of us but despite that most happy couples retain a strong intimate connection throughout their lives.
Another sign is fading communication between partners. Poor communication tends to feeds on itself. There are couples who have been married for decades and still confide in one another each day. Significant problems begin to rise the moment either of the partner realizes that he or she no longer wants to share anything and everything with his or her partner. Connect simply wanes away if neither sets out to resolve.
If you are in a passionate relationship, it probably is a healthy one and certainly wouldnโt want this to happen to you. But then do you really know what this โHealthy relationshipโ is all about, especially when everyone is so different and everything changes with time? No relationship ever remains the same as before. Not even healthy relationships are free of scars. Problems, fights misunderstandings are thick on the ground but getting rid of them and looking after each otherโs back is what makes it so pink.
You wouldnโt know when the toxicity crept in?
Given few exceptions we all are wired to be wanted both emotionally and physically. Life seems better shared but like most other things in life worth having, relationships too need efforts to stay intact. After all none of us, not even our parents are perfect and oddly enough neither do they see us as perfect. Itโs the mood, faults and quirkiness that tell us when to start learning and when to adapt; just as much we expect others to learn the same for us. And itโs worth it!
Image source: ‘Are you fighting too much with your partner?’ in indiatvnews.com on Jun.30, 2017
Have you sensed of late that your attentiveness has turned somewhat toxic? Your terms of endearment are always ending up in upsetting someone. Unintentionally you are rubbing your partner the wrong way and you feel that your relationship has become mired in bitterness. Your connect has mutated into something that has the potential to hurt you both.
This could be emotionally draining and infrequently physically damaging. Look back!! It seems that the truth has evaded both of you for it always takes two to have a toxic relationship.
On the other side, a healthy relationship shares desire for each otherโs happiness though there may be brief periods of discontent. After all we humans are not that perfect but not always everything is necessarily lost.
Slandering is how the things first began to turn ugly
This is when you feel that your relationship has become all screwed up. โIโm just kidding. Canโt you take a joke?โ This is a contemptuous disapproval of your thoughts and actions or at least thatโs how you could make out. Gradually this vilification turns public. You are often told that you are lucky to have them as a partner, that no other man or woman would really want you. Your self esteem is on a down slide and you can feel the control of this relationship slipping out of your hands.
Frayed temper takes the center stage
Image source: ‘Would you eavesdrop on an arguing couple?’ by Matthew Smith in yougov.co.uk on Sep.8 , 2017
Controlling by intimidation or โhair triggerโ temper is a classic example of how things could worsen and leave you peevish. This โwalking on egg shellโ fear never leaves for you will never know when and what will make your partner explode in rage.
Emotionally abusive partners rarely show the flip side of their selves to the outside world, meaning they revel in being frequently thought of as a pleasant, easy-going person whom almost everyone likes.
These salvos of bad nerves are the first signs that your relationship has turned sour and everything is just not working out fine.
Guilt trips are no longer infrequent
You are lucky to have evaded them so far for these could leave you sad and conscience stricken. Itโs good for your relationship if your partner has not encouraged you to feel guilty any time you do something he or she doesnโt like. Feel lucky if he or she hasnโt got someone else to convey their sense of โdisappointmentโ to you so far.
For those who are prone to remorse, anything or anyone who frees you of guilt is most desirable and this very emotion leaves a powerful means of control in the hands of your partner, parent or friend, to get what he or she want.
Reaction goes overboard
Did you ever tried telling your partner that you are unhappy, annoyed or even hurt with something that they did and somehow it is you who is taking care of their anger?
If it is so, then you are comforting them instead of getting it for yourself. Unknowingly you have readied yourself to โcover the trenchโ. Perhaps you are being too sensitive. Or perhaps you have faced a more calculated apology; โDo you love me?โ and have decided to relent because suddenly the criticism is replaced with comforting admiration.
Trust me, staying in a relationship this way is no better than like paying $1,000 for a candy bar without getting much for your investment. Its one-way nature and you usually end up feeling like you have never done enough for either of you.
Overdependence is now infuriating
Oddly your partner has turned passive and you are taking most of the decisions for the family, from where to go to dinner to what car to buy. Not making a decision has the advantage of not being responsible for the outcome, especially if turns out to be a โwrong oneโ. You chose a movie or restaurant they didnโt enjoy. You chose to spend the weekend with your parents and your partner goes along but doesnโt speak to anyone for two days. The distress is inching in and you are unaware of it.
If you feel your relationship is slowly wearing in, you have given away the control to passivity.
Possessiveness is endearing
This certainly is bad news. Jealousy steers suspicion and comes to play the first fiddle in no time. Your partner is checking the odometer in the car to make sure you havenโt gone somewhere you โshouldnโt,โ You are faced with awkward interrogations if you stayed late at work. In short life feels miserly while your partner sees herself or himself as possessing you.
We all love the sweetness of certain words. Good times and challenges ring bells differently for different people. Even if you find yourself in a tough spot, take heart for great things do not happen by chance.
Hereโs how you can fit in your connect and breathe some fresh air to ease your sourness!!
Be together more often
Your relationship is jinxed because none of you chose to spend enough time together. May be conflicting work schedules or long distance relationships have made it more of a struggle to stay patched up. Itโs time to make time for each other as much as possible. Plan a date or may be a Netflix night once a week. It could do wonders to your kinship!!
Figure out who raises the storm more often and fix the grudge
A relationship can either bring out the best or the worst in us. Are you in a crappy mood when you are with your partner? Have you noticed that your partner is gradually becoming more and more depressed? Itโs time to reflect back on you and your partnerโs behavior and find ways to mend it.
Hang on to your conviction
Trust is anything and everything. Trust means you know for sure that all your problems will work out soon and your partner will always watch your back in tough times. Even when you know that the spark is fading, trust is what will bring you two back together.
Take a trip down the memory lane
Once riding the storm, itโs always easy to feel indignation for your partner. If you want things to straighten out, itโs time to start feeling more positive. And the easiest way to do this is by remembering the good times you had spent together. The good times can mean anything. Even choosing what you love about your partner can also bring positivity. It would do some good to remember that you always get what you put out.
Never quit loving
Image source: ‘A Music-Loving Couple Planned the Ultimate Cyclorama Celebration’ by Andrea Timpano in bostonmagazine.com on March 9, 2020
This is easier said than done. You could be mad at your partner or feeling awful. But it isnโt easy to let go of the flame even if you are going through a rough patch. Small gestures like โgood morningโ and โgoodnightโ text messages could keep love alive. Recall the time when you felt mad in love. Itโs time to relive it . Go out on little dates or do things you did back then.
Let ears do the talking
You have a lot many things on your mind and you hasten to spill it all out on your partner. But this may not be a good idea as you think. Instead stay open with your ears. Let the other person talk first. Who knows, maybe your partner already knows the solutions to your problems. Surprises are not so hard to come by.
Keep the attraction alive
These are bad grumpy times and the last thing you may think about is sex. But youโll be shocked at how many problems it can solve. Intimacy and attraction is what could truly help you to re connect and re-ignite that spark.
Pull together and make it work
Even if you love each other, things wonโt work unless you both want them to. Each of you will have to agree that youโll do what you can to improve and help this relationship to work. Pull the plug yourself if you think your partner is too discouraged or work-shy.
Let bygones be bygones
Image source: ‘Pexel free media library’ in wordpress.com
Donโt misunderstand indulgence! Forgiveness does not free you to mistreat or misbehave with someone. It makes you accept what we all are doing the best we can. When we disappoint or hurt each other itโs not because we want to. Surely if we knew better, we would do better. So let go of all that that has hurt you in the past and begin creating memories that will last you a lifetime.
Let go of the ache to fix or change
The key to reviving a gasping relationship is to fully accept the cardinal truth that ‘you cannot change anyone except yourselfโ. The sooner you realize this as an inseparable verity, the earlier you will begin to heal and grow together.
Be good as your word.
Relationships struggle, when trust weakens. When you say you will do something or share everything, your partner will trust that as a truth. Itโs fine if you decide to turn around but let your partner to catch up with you. Take your time and your partner will change and grow with you.
Daydream together
Relationships weave lives together but lifeโs logistics always catches you up for a grind. Take a day off and have blonde moments. Explore, plan and reach out to each other to live out your dreams. Be grateful to each other for having made your life easier and better. This could be your moment to turn a corner in a struggling alliance.
We all long to be loved and accepted for who we are and how we are. Itโs only when we feel that we are not ashamed or disappointed in each other and choose to change, life begins to come out of disuse gradually.
After all no relationship is perfect. Itโs no big deal to overcome your sorrows so long as there is love and the desire to make it work. You just need to step out of the box.
And above all, stay curious, celebrate each other and never choose to let go.
Rude foods are finally bringing the fun back into snacking. Organically produced muesli and porridges packed full of tasty fruity bits and extra textures are jostling and finding space in daily breakfast tray, disproving the cynics who thought that such cereals were boring.
Weirdness is all sweet and savory
We all love deliciousness of certain words. These are the words that bring everyday food to life. Even something as modest as a chocolate could make you salivate when dressed with warm adjectives like rich, thick, gooey, creamy, silky or frothy. Appetizing words like simmering, browned, roasted, spice tempt you to try out a newer recipe each time you visit a non-descript out of the way cafรฉ with equally tempting offerings.
The cake fluffy as a pillow, toasty brown bedecked with plum colored cream swirls, looks like a homespun triumph. The cream of mushroom is all butter laden cognac kissed charm. Succulent and plump shrimp sautรฉed with chili flakes and served with salad of oyster mushroom, cucumber and corns, all fresh, vibrant and crunchy, is just spicy enough to make you sit upright.
More lightweight than a brittle these are the foods that work wonders over a cup of coffee. If you could soak all day in these awesome foods, then what is this โdouble entendre โall about?
May be itโs about a foodโeven the one you normally likeโthat can be described in a way that totally robs the joy of eating it.โYucks!! this foodโs worth a second taste โyou would describe a tomato if you donโt agree that a good tomato is ripe, sweet and juicy. โSlimy, jellylike substance around the seeds, thin skin and grainy pulpโwould keep you at bay from even a salad staple. And it sure wouldnโt inspire anybody to rush out to a nearest oyster bar and stay calm when faced with a plateful of barnacled, irregular and slimy oysters on your table. Aesthetics of devouring shellfish would give way to horror in no time and you will never manage to extract oysters from their watery home!
Food that we consider inappropriate for consumption is usually a sell-short version of undercooked, overcooked, burned or mystery portion in an old margarine tub at the back of the fridge; lamenting veggies weeping at the bottom of the crisper or the leftover of greyish congealed gravy with fur and fuzz sprouting from things. The kind of stuff nobody would want to or ever should eat. Adjectives like grisly, withered, rubbery, curdled and moldy perfectly make for a food that is beyond its prime. This is what plain โuglyโ food is all about.
But have you wondered that what the French consider delectable- snails in a sizzling garlic sauce– may well be another cultureโs nightmare?
But what happens when a flavorsome food is named weirdly?
From coddled eggs to Witchetty grub, itโs not unlikely that the weirdness of names themselves would keep even the most enterprising foodies at armโs length. For one coddler is a porcelain cup with a lid and none would dream of eating pottery and anything โ witchyโ sounds downright dangerous and equally distasteful.
But the fact of the matter is that weirdest foods are not always that weird. Coddled eggs are in fact lightly steamed or baked (in hot water bath) rendering only the whites to be slightly cooked. Likewise Witchetty grub is the larva of a moth that feeds on wild bush called by the same name. Packed with proteins it can be eaten raw or soft cooked and tastes like scrambled egg and for some it even reminds of chicken.
So why not call them by the name everybody is familiar with ? Why not just use words like โsausageโ instead of โmystery meatโ? For a few it could be for funโs sake but for most itโs akin to putting punch back into the very act of snacking.
Here are some of the freak foods that are ubiquitous and grossest at the same time. Known passionately and devoured eagerly, these dishes are not entirely inaccurately regarded as โmystery foodsโ and often carry even weirder ingredients.
Bubble & squeak
Image source: ‘Classic British Bubble And Squeak’ by Decatur MacPherson in 12tomatoes.com
If you think that this food hails of something close to a living creature that bubbles and perhaps squeaks when served on your platter, then you couldnโt be more far from truth. This food has origins in Great Britain and actually contains leftover fried veggies. Loved as a side dish to morning breakfast, itโs meant to sound awful because the dish made from cooked potatoes and cabbage when mixed together and fried literally โbubbles and squeaksโ while over the fire.
The Imam Bayildi (literally Imam fainted)
Image source: ‘IMAM BAYILDI (A stuffed eggplant recipe from Asia minor)’ by Evelynathens in food.com
Now this one is far weirder and you couldnโt possibly have the slightest idea of what could there be in the dish. Itโs actually a recipe from the Turkish cuisine and is generally made from whole eggplant, garlic and tomatoes and simmered in olive oil. Imam bayildicould also be made from baked tender aubergines with aromatic tomato and onion stuffing. Legend has it that it was so delectable that it made even the Imam faint with pleasure at the delicious flavor of this dish.
Bat Milk yogurt
Image source: ‘The 20 Most Inappropriate Food Product Names Ever’ by William Lewis on Jan 29, 2015 in top13.net
This weird brand of yogurt made from cowโs milk comes from Brazil and certainly has nothing to do with bats. From a Brazilian brand Batavo, this yoghurt created a fusion of two words by combining a Portuguese word, “batter“, with the English word, “milk” hence creating one of the offensive words, “BatMilk.” Even then who would want to have BatMilk ?
Only Puke crackers
Image source: ’31 Truly Unfortunate Food Product Names’ by Jessica Misener in buzzfeed.com on Sep 30, 2013
Words often mean different things in different languages, as this awfully adverted food proves. This Chinese snack is actually known as Only Pukeet and is oddly named because the last two letters on the bag were horrible prints making them virtually invisible. These honey bean crackers remind people of vomit and couldnโt possibly really make you want to eat them either.
Century eggs
Image source: ‘Century Eggs with Mala Chili Sauce’ by Lady Home Chef in ladyhomechef.blogspot.com on April 27, 2017
There is no way you could even dream of eating a 100 year old egg. But when you do eat, you are actually eating an older, rotten, black version. This recipe calls for eggs being preserved in clay and ash for few months. Once ready, these turn into a savory comfort food. Of course, no health issues here. Intimidating but it is a convenience food.
Bangers and Mash
Image source: ‘Bangers & Mash with Guinness Onion Gravy’ in johnsonville.com
The English always have had a penchant for weird names. This eat also known as sausages and mash, quintessentially has British-Irish origin and consists of finger sausages served with mashed potatoes drizzled with gravy. Including one of a variety of flavored sausages made from pork, lamb or beef, this is a dish youโll find anywhere in the fancy restaurants and pubs across England. It blends well with other luxury ingredients and is super delicious too!!
Clootie dumpling
Image source: ‘Clootie Dumpling! posted by SOCIAL:FIFE โ on Jan 25, 2015 in socialfife.wordpress.com
Based on name you wouldnโt have guessed it right. This in fact is a desert pudding made of sweets stuff like dough, dried fruits and sugar, all held as a dumpling within a strip of parchment and fabric. The name clootie comes from the cloth itโs boiled in, as cloot is scots for cloth. Traditionally you would boil the dumpling straight on the cloth rather than lining it with paper first. You can also steam it in a pudding basin if you wish to experiment.
Sweetbread (Offal)
Image source:’ What is Offal? Types, Nutrition, Benefits, & Uses’ in discover.grasslandbeef.com on Nov. 25, 2019
Itโs hard to win you over as an exciting believer of this โcomplicated โdish. It is neither a sweet nor a piece of bread and contains animal meat as the key ingredient. Sometimes also known as โOffalโ, the thymus or pancreas of the animal is behind one of the main ingredients. Many sweetbreads come from veal meat or lamb but beef and pork sweetbreads are the revered ones.
Welsh Rabbit
Image source: ‘Welsh Rarebit’ in foodandtable.com on May 20,2018
If you think that it is a rabbit dish from Wales, then you are in for a surprise! This one is in fact a vegetarian dish and for some odd reason has been so weirdly named by somebody who was either incredibly clever or mighty confused. No rabbits; it is rather melted cheese over toast or crackers. The English nonetheless brandish a fancier version with actual rabbits.
Rocky Mountain Oysters
Image source: ’11 Things You Didn’t Know About Rocky Mountain Oysters’ by Sarah Anderson in thrillist.com on Aug.22, 2015
These are not oysters and neither seafood. Purposefully but so inaccurately named, these are actually testicles from animals like goats, sheep calves. So, how did this dish come to be? At the end of the day most big ranches would end up with hundreds of these and just to make economic sense out of it, make use of them by cooking and eating. For few it may go off well but for most it is an ugly food, absurdly described that fails to whet appetite.
Ladyfingers
Image source: ‘Ladyfingers Recipe & Video’ in joyofbaking.com
No! You have guessed it all wrong. Itโs not a savory dish made out of okra pods but a delicious little dessert. These are in fact low density, dry egg based sweet sponge biscuits cakes made out in the shape of a large finger. Essentially, theyโre dip-able, finger-shaped cookies that are so delicate that even Keats had to write about them. Ladyfinger cakes are undoubtedly an intricate creation and are considered to be one of the rare bakers’ arts.
Crunky Ball Nude
Image source:’ The crudest foods: From โCrunky Ball Nudesโ to hot โUrinalโ cordials’ by Yaron Steinbuch in nypost.com on Jan 28. 2015
One of the most hilariously named Korean candies, this is a provocative confection made with hazelnut paste and malt covered in crisped rice and chocolate. It looks more like an unsophisticated version of a Ferrero Rocher. These candies come packaged in a plastic barrel with a flip-top, which is quite a fun. Each ball is about the size of a grape and covered in tiny rice crisps.
Thereโs very little chocolate though that could show through. The rice crisps are nuttier and taste almost like cornflakes or sesame seeds and are within each ball too. The chocolate is thick with dusky hints of malt. The texture pairs well with the airy puffs of rice.
Even infamous is sometimes delightful
With names like Pee cola, Cream colon biscuits, Golden gay time cookies, instant ramen โSoup for Slutsโ and โUrinalโ hot drink, at first glance these foods could put you off when feeling impish. But words mean differently for different languages. Some of the most delectable spreads are the most unfortunately named foods in the world. ย Itโs not surprising that the idea of adverting these nasty named foods as an epicurean delight is fast catching up since they mate so well with the duality of happiness and health. Itโs startling that even the most weirdly named cuisine is not considered a redemption dish anymore!!
If you havenโt tried one of these freakish sounding foods so far, itโs time to reach out. The queerness is just the result of terrible branding or probably their awkward names are a result of their true name meanings having lost track over the time.
Whateverโฆnames apart, you know how to pull it off when gravies and curries, sweet and savory and traditional and classical meet the challenges to keep the textures right even after a long journey–fromwok to platter.
Inexpensive, mouthwatering and widely available, junk foods laced with craving whipping ingredients, are incredibly irresistible and make for an obscenely tempting sweet or savory food.
Itโs not uncommon that just about everyone of us who has live through that upsetting endless โdiet-getting-horrifiedโ resolve to cut out the junk food may have stayed on course for a short while, begin to binge again โfeel the guilt once more and then start all over again. But is it that impossible to step away from junk food for all the wrong reasons it carries?
Sometimes, just having an alternative could steer you clear of all those empty calories; โemptyโ because there is either no nutritional content or it is so low, it might as well not even exist. May be keeping some healthy snack options handy could help you next time that craving hits. But for quite a few however, suppressing those stomach urges may not be easy to cope with.
So what do we do about it? Is there a way to steer clear of those junk treats? Not many of us would know how to go about it. But you could do just fine by approaching this whole junk food issue from a different angle. Instead of cutting out the junk completely and stamping out your cravings, try recompensing your ultimate temptation with junk foods in their unjunkedform.
Hereโs how you could eat โbad foodsโregardless of what you may have heard.
Peanut butter
Image source : ‘ Ask the doctor, why peanut butter is healthy if it has saturated fat? ‘ by Prof Walter C. Willett in health.harvard.edu
High in fat content, this is one high protein comfort food that is a good source of fiber, vitamin-E, magnesium and antioxidants. When consumed moderately, it could even help manage weight while controlling hunger due to protein and fiber content that take so long to digest. Be sure to watch your serving size though. No more than two tablespoons (28 -30 grams) would be enough. Also shop for natural version with no added sugar.
Chocolate
Image source : ‘When is it Ok to eat Chocolate ?’ by Ellen Byron in wsj.com
An ounce (28.34 gms precisely) of dark chocolate is shown to lessen the risks for heart diseases and a bit more helps ease stress. It reduces LDL (โbadโ) cholesterol and improves cognitive performance in elderly. Look out for dark chocolate with a 60% cacao or higher that has more antioxidants and less added sugar. Since even dark chocolate is calorie rich, stick to one to two ounces per day to avoid weight gain.
If you think you are not a regret cook and spirited enough to look for an exciting feat, then you should try snacking tomatoes instead- convenient, bite sized and so sweet. Known to score as high as chocolate cake in the category of flavor, cherry tomatoes are convenient snacking options. Simply give them a wash and youโre good to go! It canโt get any easier than that.
Pizza
Image source : ‘Domino’s is giving away free pizza to people named Karen’ by Olivia Petter in independant.co.uk
The ultimate temptation of greasy toppings could be anybodyโs waistline nightmare. First you tell yourself it is just one slice, then you reach for another and another. What begins as curious nibble turns sizeable in no time and no wonder calorie meter bolts wild!
To make this work for you without being too moreish, just replace the white crust with whole wheat dough. If you are venturesome, try making a cauliflower crust or go for mini bites with egg plants or mushrooms.
Cheeseburgers
Image source : ‘Classic Cheeseburger’ in taste.com.au
Be wary here. Ground beef and cheese that make this eat so gratifying, piles on kilos. Nonetheless, take a shot and make this work for you. Put together your own patty with extra lean beef and complete it with a whole what bun. Turkey meat could be another healthy fill-in.
Potato Chips
Image source: ; ‘ Setting up potato chips factory’ in financialtribune.com on Sep 29, 2015
You could be the one of those who often cheats themselves for the fun of it and relent to that luring commercial tagline, โOnce you pop, you canโt stopโ. Unfortunately, laden with carbs, fats and salts these deceitful eats are hell-bent on expanding your waistline. Try fruit or vegetarian chips instead using carrots, kale, beet, oranges or even apples. All it takes is some chopping, slicing, smearing olive oil, and baking.
If you think you have the nerve to try something resembling โMichelin starโ cooking, next time try slicing up some bell peppers and cucumbers to pair with a flavorful dip! Lots of other veggies โ like carrots, celery, or broccoli โ also go nicely with a whole lot of dips
Nachos and Tacos
Image source : ‘ Nachos and tacos: The perfect combo’ in mesero.net on Jul 17, 2019
These two classic meals run high on everybodyโs priority list, especially the ones that are piled high with your favorite but often fatty fixings. Itโs not so difficult to make them work for you. Simply swap out nacho chips for sweet bell pepper that you can stack up with your favorite veggies, black beans and cheese. Cheese shelled tacos on the other side offer a healthier alternative to hard shelled taco and go so well with homemade salsa.
Soft drinks
Image source : ’13 ways that sugary soda is bad for your health’ by Joe Leech in healthline.com on Feb. 8, 2019
With sugar levels going through the roof, soft drinks are still a hard to resist food and could potentially harm your brain if indulged into recklessly. Craving for it is particularly due to its refreshing quality and tangy flavor, no matter what the cost. If you wish to make it work for you, throw in a slice of lemon or add a strawberry in unflavored soda water. The zing would be just as much flavorsome and freshening in double time!!
If you are craving for something thick, cold and sweet like a milkshake to drink, try instead flavorful fruit filled smoothie that are packed with healthy vitamins and minerals! Natural sugars found here with no processed sugars added make it a delightful snack to tuck into and kick your day off.
Pancakes
Image source :’ Fluffy Pancakes’ in eggs.ca
Commonly mistaken to be fewer calories intensive, each ingredient in this breakfast delight works quite differently. Batter in this scrumptious food is converted into sugar way quickly than you would have thought. Other ingredients that go into its making like syrup turn it into a fare that is far from healthy.
To make it work for you, use extra virgin olive oil or coconut oil and top it with berries or a dash of butter. A less sugary version is better option and could be made with a banana and two eggs. Just mash the banana, whisk in the eggs and cook in a heated pan for 30 secs in any form. Shapes do not matter much any way!
If you are free swinger in kitchen, try adding sweet bell peppers to the batter! Once added to baked goodies these peppers take on an unbelievably sweet flavor and sport a healthier ingredient list. Adding these nutrient-dense fruits to your pancake is one easy way to rake in a healthy dose of vitamin A, vitamin C, fiber, and iron into your system.
Ice Cream
Image source :’ New tech for ice cream making’ in Cleanroomtechnology.com on Aug 29, 2018
One of the most irresistible snack food, little needs to be said about how delectable ice cream is. Yet, considering it is essentially made out of sugar and milk creams, just as less needs to be said about its health properties. But no worries! No need to get rid of ice cream entirely either. Instead try a vegan option. Blend together two frozen bananas and blueberries or walnuts, use coconut milk variant or even yoghurt and a delectable healthy version of every day delight is there for you to dig in.
Pasta
Image source : ‘Cheese, Nuts and Cranberry Pasta’ in dairyfarmersofcanada. ca
Layer upon layer of cheese and cream is what makes pasta so enticing. Carbs contents of course usually run through the roof well beyond healthy servings. Can you still make it work for you? Yes! by all means. Just look around for foods that could make a great pasta replacement.
Ever heard of spaghetti squash or vegetable spaghetti? It is a cultivated plant from genus Cucurbita . When raw, the flesh of the fruit is solid and similar to other raw squash. When cooked, the meat of the fruit falls away from the flesh in ribbons or strands that look like spaghetti and is a much healthier option. Available in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors including ivory, yellow and orange with orange having the highest amount of carotene, spaghetti squash is an excellent source of fiber. A 155 gram (1 cup) serving packs in 2.2 grams or 9% of your daily fiber needs. Itโs a good stand-in for pasta, and blends nicely with various flavors. Roasting it correctly will yield strands of โspaghettiโ that can be topped up with regular spaghetti condiments.
To spruce up the spread, slice up some zucchini to make โnoodlesโ, edible baked or raw. Throw in a generous amount of carrots, peppers, onions and peanut butter to complete a delicious variant of Thai pasta.
Foods that do more than make you smile
There’s a reason they couldnโt be called โjunk,”. Eating food that is high in fat, sodium and sugar reduces your interest in eating more. Each 100 gm serving of oil roasted and salted mixed nuts contains 54 gms of fat, 273 mg of sodium and 4.2 gms of sugar. Once ingested your body stops responding to the normal impulse to seek more food. Coffee fares much better and contains 0% carb, 0% protein and only 40mg of caffeine per 100 ml serve to keep you pepped up all day long.
Nuts
Image source : ‘Highest nut quality with optical inspection’ in specim.fi on Nov 19, 2019
Nuts are high in fat and calories and if eaten in reasonable quantity, actually help in weight loss. Also, nuts are heart-friendly and consuming them significantly lowers the risk of heart attack and stroke. Walnuts, rich in omega-3 fats, are particularly good option and contain plant sterols that have cholesterol-lowering properties. These kernels in their natural form are the finest source of fiber, vitamins, carbohydrates, proteins, and iron. Walnut chomping is also known to help manage metabolic syndrome, diabetes and inflammation.
Since unprocessed version is typically free of any junk quality it could be consumed raw, though works better if soaked overnight. Eat 7-8 walnut halves before any two meals daily and drink a glass of water after 15 to 30 minutes. You will feel fuller and will eventually eat less food.
Coffee
Image source : ‘Wake up to the smell of coffee from these 6 homegrown coffee brands’ by Trishi Dhingra in magicpin.in
This anytime brews helps you burn fat and ups physical performance by raising metabolism and increasing oxidation of fatty acids. It is an excellent source of antioxidants and is believed to lower the risk of type 2 diabetes, Alzheimerโs, dementia and Parkinsonโs disease. Three to four cups a day is your safe bet. Just be sure to skip sugary flavored creamers. Almond or coconut milk instead could be a good choice.
Besides coffee is also known to help in small but significant reduction in the number of teeth with periodontal bone loss.
Healthy snacking isnโt so hard !
Ever wondered what makes certain foods so addictive than others. Why we crave for โjunkโ more than any other food? Much of the science that follows offers cryptic explanations. When we eat tasty food, two factors make the experience pleasurable or otherwise. First, there is the sensation of eating the food that includes the experience of how it feels in the mouth (salty, sweet, umami etc.) and what it smells like. Yet another one is the actual macronutrient makeup of the foodโ the blend of proteins, fats, and carbohydrates that it contains.
Junk foods have an infamous but perfect combination of salt, sugar, and fat that excites your brain and get you coming back for more. In fact rapid food meltdown and vanishing calorie density of junk foods signals your brain that you are not eating as much as you actually are. These foods literally tell your brain that you are not full even though you may have overindulged.
However, there is absolutely no need to sacrifice your favorite junk foods as you search for that trim waistline. A little bit of creativity and effort could do well to your culinary skills and keep you nourished and stoked for sensory specific responses. All you need to do is to take control of your intake of saturated and trans fats, for these are the two most deceitful culprits responsible for major health problems. Go for healthier options over the easy ones and once you learn to unjunk your food, you wouldnโt be looking for fresh inspirations elsewhere!! Itโs always good to step out of box once in a while and put some consideration into your favorite dish without butchering it.
Above all not every junk food you pick is a diet disaster but just because something is as easy as pie doesnโt mean it is always good for you.
Try the redemption way and it could actually turn more healthy than you think!!
Your serving size might be the reason you are getting Fat. Or maybe you are over-indulging in โhealthyโ food one time too often. May be you have missed the good ones and everything that followed is devastating your diet plan. Itโs time you learn to get fewer spoons in your food and discover which nutriment could just work great for you.
Should you have too much of good food!
โAnyway, itโs healthy.โ If this is how you would react then in all probability you are eating too much of a good food and may be one time too many. Needless to say we fall prey to temptations sometimes and often cheat ourselves for the fun of it. Over the years food portions and servings have grown in size and so have the waistlines. A bagel that sized 3 inches and carried 140 calories not so long ago, has fattened to 6 inches and a whopping 350 calories.
When we look for healthy foods we are suddenly beset by the misbelief that we can have as much of it as we want without the consequences. Sometimes we even find it thoughtful that we can eat our way to negative calories and a promising health.
So what to eat and how much to eat? Letโs clear the air.
Are you indecisive about nutrition?
Nutritional studies usually run aground for the simple reason that itโs pretty hard to figure out what people actually eat. Sizing a tomato before eating is difficult to remember than how many times you ate it last year. Nutrition judgments could go awry and be distressingly inexact for the same reason.
For this simple relatable reason you just couldnโt do any better by sticking to a one particular diet and size. Eating a variety of fresh food and cutting back on processed ones is the simplest way to ensure that you get what you need most, even if the reality isnโt as exciting or new as you might wish it was. And then you may also wonder how the microbes in your GI tract will behave. Will it somehow change you whole nutritional plan?
No way, this is more about your personalized nutritional response than anything else. Micro biome science doesnโt carry necessary evidence to back up its use. For now, itโs wait and see and then wait and see more. It turns out science is often wrong on the way to being right.
Most roads lead to fineness proteins that strengthen bones, cartilage and skin and could improve your mood swings by regulating body hormones. With some health rewarding combination of these impressive foods, all equations work just fine without sabotaging weight loss goals!
How many times you have returned home exhausted, and either grabbed whatever you could on the way or called that local takeaway joint? Probably many more times than you wish you didn’t remember.
Itโs not so uncommon to find those who rush out of home for a 8-10 hr job each day and for whom a quick cup of coffee is the only choice to kick start their day. A rush to street joints and a hasty bite of those street foods without fretting over the food value is a poor choice. The unfortunate part is that these people miss out on the importance of having high protein foods each day 24/7. Even high protein snacks fail in hitting your macro goals that range from reducing appetite and increasing muscle mass to healthy bones, cartilage, skin tissues and blood. For every kilo of bodyweight you need 0.75 gram of protein each day; that sum up to 56 gram daily if you are of an average built.
If you are keen on being lean and sinewy and alive outside, you need to up your protein intake by all counts. Just how much of whatthat will keep you stoked all day without worrying about the waistline? Letโs figure out here;
Egg
Image source:: ‘Go (over) easy on the eggs: ‘Egg-cess’ consumption linked to diabetes. in Newsletter of 14 Nov.2020 Univ. of South Australia.
An average 50-gram chicken egg provides approximately 70 calories of food energy, 6grams of protein and approx. 5 grams of fat. More than half the calories found in egg comes from the fat in the yolk which in turn contains 2/3rd of the recommended daily intake of 300 mg of cholesterol.
On the other count the egg white consists primarily of water (87 percent), protein (13 percent), little fat and virtually no cholesterol. Once boiled these miracle orbs provide you significant amount of several vitamins and minerals that include vitamin-A (19% of daily value or dv), riboflavin (42 % of dv), pantothenic acid(28% of dv), vitamin-B12 (46 % of dv), choline (60 % of dv), phosphorus ( 25% of dv), zinc ( 11% of dv) and vitamin-D ( 15% of dv). But remember, how you cook an egg affects its nutritional value. Packed with nutrients, calorie for calorie, an egg is pretty much like any other food and makes portion control easy even for the most unwilling.
Just boil two of these, cool and dig in!
Cheese
Image source: ‘The 9 Healthiest Types of Cheese’ by Lizzie Streit in healthline.com
The protein content in cheeses varies between Parmesan, Swiss, Pecorino, Edam and Gouda but offers the most bang-for-buck. A 100 gram serving provides between 26-35 grams of protein with around 1.3 grams of carbohydrate. Paired with anti oxidant grapes or blue berries it could make you jumpstart even after the 3 pm slump.
Yogurt- Greek or Regular?
Image source: ‘Strawberry Yoghurt Recipe’ by Meghna Wani in parenting.firstcry.com
Regular and Greek yogurt are made from the same ingredients but differ in nutrients. While regular yogurt tends to have fewer calories and more calcium, Greek yogurt has more protein and less sugar โ and a much thicker consistency. Both types pack probiotics and support digestion, weight loss, and heart health.
Letโs find out which scores most on nutrition;
Protein
A typical 170 gram serving of Greek yogurt contains 15 to 20 grams of it, the amount equivalent of 2 to 3 ounces of lean meat. That makes it particularly appealing to vegetarians, who sometimes struggle to get enough of the nutrient. An identical serving of regular yogurt, on the other hand, provides just 9 grams which could make you may feel hunger pangs sooner.
Carbohydrate
A smart choice for those who watch their waist lines Greek yogurt carries half the carbs as the regular kind โ 5 to 8 grams per serving compared with 13 to 17. Further, the straining process leaves this yogurt less likely to hurt those who are lactose intolerant. No matter which one you opt for, just go for the one that is less sugar added.
Fat
Be wary here. A 200 gm serving of Greek yogurt packs 16 gm of saturated fat โ or 80 percent of recommended daily allowance if you’re on a 2,000-calorie diet. On the other side, regular full-fat yogurt has 5 grams of saturated fat in a typical 225 gram serving. Saturated fat raises total and “bad” cholesterol levels.
Sodium
An average serving of Greek yogurt could provide you as much as 50 mg of sodium, about half the amount most brands of the regular kind carry. Too much salt spikes BP and increases the risk of heart ailments. Recommended intake puts cap at 2300 mg a day or 1500 mg if you are older than 50, have hypertension, diabetic or suffer from chronic kidney disease.
Calcium
Regular yogurt serves 30 percent of your daily requirement while Greek yogurt sheds some of its calcium through the straining process. A 170 gram cup of Greek yogurt nonetheless provides at least 20 percent of your daily need. Still worried about your calcium intake? Just add another serving of milk or stir almonds into your serving each day.
Edamame beans (Immature soya bean)
Image source: ‘Edamame-Black Bean Salad’ by Betty Crocker Kitchens in bettycrocker.com
Green soybeans certainly donโt sound inviting, yet theyโre a great source of protein. Like meat and dairy, these greens provide all of the essential amino acids your body needs. One 50 gm serve contains around six grams of protein and four grams of carbs.
Fish
Image source::’Why Is Fish Good for You? Because It Replaces Meat? ‘ by Roni Caryn Rabin
When you pick up one of the packaged tuna, salmon or mackerel options you indulge yourself in the benefits of omega-3 fatty acids. You can choose from various options โ with or without dressings and other ingredients like bulgur wheat, lentils and quinoa.
Tofu
Image source:: ‘ Deep-Fried Tofu With Dipping Sauce’, by Cecilia Hae-Jin Lee in latimes.com
Meatatarians may be skeptical but this could very well make them sulk no longer. With 8 grams of plant based protein and 1.9 grams of carbs, each 100 gram serving of tofu could be a delightful addition even to most eclectic non veg spread. Its smacks great when chopped into cubes, pan fried with spices and then dunked into onion tomato ginger gravy. Take a bite of this portable protein and Iโm sure you wouldnโt find it super weird any longer. Itโs great at sucking up the flavors of the dish it is prepared in and is a versatile addition to a meal. After all it is curdled soya milk and is made pretty much the same way most cheeses are made. Firm tofu (soya bean curd) contains about 10 grams of protein per 100 grams of serving.
Lentils
Image source:’ Madras Lentils’ by Linda in thewanderlustkitchen.com
A great source of protein, cooked lentils carry about 8.84 grams of protein per 100 gram serving. Red or green, lentils can be added to stew, curries salads or rice to give that little extra punch of protein to a lunch or dinner spread. Apart from protein and fibre, lentils carry key nutrients including iron and potassium.
Chickpeas
Image source: ‘how to make espinacas con garbanzos here’ by Lauren Aloise in spanishsabores.com
Highly versatile with plenty of recipes you could relish chickpeas by adding them in stew or curry or even enjoy it oven roasted and spiced with paprika. Even hummus which is again made from chickpea paste is your healthy, protein rich mouthful alternative to butter. High in protein, each 100 gram serving of cooked chickpea contains about 7.25 gram of it.
Peanuts
Image source: ‘Eat Peanuts: You May Live Longer’ by Jennifer J, Brown in everydayhealth.com
Protein rich, brimming with good fats, peanuts are your complete protein snack. An 8 gram tablespoon of peanut butter spread over your sandwich could leave your gut feeling happy. Each 100 gram serving carries about 20.5 gram of protein.
Quinoa
Image source: ‘How to cook Quinoa (and what to do with it!) ‘ by Kylee in kyleecooks.com
Quinoa is a complete protein grain. A cooked 100 gram portion contains about 8 grams of protein. It is also rich in other nutrients, including magnesium, iron, fiber, and manganese. You could relish quinoa as a fill-in for pasta, in soups and stews or even choose to sprinkle it on a salad. It just savors great with any combination.
Protein-rich veggies
Image source: ‘8 High-Protein Vegetables You Must Start Eating Right Now! by Sarika Rana in food.ndtv.com
Eaten alone many of these dark-colored, leafy greens are not enough to meet your daily protein requirement , but a few vegetable snacks can increase protein intake, particularly when consumed along with other protein-rich foods.
A single medium stalk of broccoli has about 4 grams of protein while kale gives you 2 grams per 100 gram serving. 5 medium sized mushrooms likewise contain about 3 grams of protein. For a happy eat you could try a salad of baby greens with some quinoa sprinkling for a protein rich nutriment.
Seitan (Wheat meat)
Image source: ‘Instant Pot Seitan’ by Liz in zardyplants.com
Seitan is made from mixing wheat gluten with various spices. This complete protein however is best avoided by people afflicted with gluten intolerance because of its high wheat content. It turns into a protein-rich wholesome meat substitute for you when cooked in soy sauce. One 125 gram serving could supplement you with as much as 24 grams!
Foraging for bottom line!
If you feel that your jeans are hugging you tighter than usual, donโt blame all that food. Itโs your personality that actually make you decide how much and when should you eat. Most extroverts are more likely to eat out with friends and tend to have bigger portions of less healthy foods. Conscientious ones who abide by the rules are unsurprisingly the healthiest. These are the ones who would rather nibble on a carrot stick instead of chips when the urge to eat hits. Then there are those also who are prone to emotional eating and are disoriented enough to usually eat dense and high calorie foods.
This eating awareness may discomfort you but itโs not meant to make you self conscious or feel scared of food. Itโs here only to make you realize that what and how much you put into your body might not be right choice. May be itโs not what your body actually needs. May be you are eating more out of habit than want.
So, take a break between those bites and remember that some 20 years ago, people were just as satisfied with one half the size. You would or wouldnโt be, is uncertain but at least you will know what and how much you have eaten. Meanwhile keep servings in mind when looking for a quick bite.
You may find an easy way to avoid over-doing but be on guard for times when itโs not so easy to count.
Itโs not hard to miss and you may have actually experienced it feasting on junky, prepackaged foods that taste of nothing but chemicals. That unsavory taste lingers offensively and leaves your taste buds high and dry. Compare this with a meal made from wholesome organic ingredients and the choice is so clear and obvious. You wonder how on earth you could ever prefer processed over fresh food!
Looking good is just as much about taking care of your body inside as it is about radiant outside. And I am not merely talking about your looks alone. A good eat promotes healthy exterior too. Take for instance your hair. It needs protein to produce keratin, the proteins that make hair strong and lustrous. If it doesnโt receive enough of proteins, it could go into a โresting phaseโ causing noticeable hair loss. Come to think of itโฆtry adding a portion of whey protein to your morning smoothie for simple boost. It may even help you with controlling your appetite and those afflicted with iron deficient anemia. This iron deficiency is primarily associated with koilonychias– a deficiency syndrome characterized by spoon shaped nails. Many would hasten with the advice; โyou must eat red meat every day of the week. It will help you get over this deprivation in no timeโ.Does this mean that you should be consuming it each day, especially when you know that red meat is high in saturated fat, and consuming lots of it hazards increased risk of several health problems including cardiac disease, several types of cancer and type 2 diabetes? I would though say that a lean cut of beef once a week wouldnโt harm you much.
Subtle signs you are missing out on these essential eats!
What do all those healthy foods have in common? Super foods like grilled chicken, lentils, yogurt, and eggs… all are loaded with enough protein to see us through the day. Carbohydrates, fats are also all important to maintain good health quotient. In fact each one of these three macronutrients are high priority foods for a different reason. If you cut back on carbs, your body responds with odd reactions. If you pinch fats you are risking your brainโs health. You may have trouble staying focused at work or even find yourself feeling scatterbrained and foggy. And of course, you wouldnโt want to cut corners on proteins. This is one major source of energy and intrinsic to functioning of your immune system.
There is no one magic number for how much of protein you need each day. Grams differ from person to person. So you would do best if you learn which food carries most and add them in your daily serve, if you feel you are not eating enough. But before that, letโs figure out why proteins are so crucial while making food choices.
Our skin, hair and nails are made primarily from a protein calledkeratin. Our body derives it from the food we take to produce it. If it doesnโt get enough of it, our skin, hair, and nails get hurt most. Yet another promising protein that is so important for your winsomeness is collagen. It counts heavily on amino acids proline, glycine and lysine for its production. These amino acids come directly from eating certain protein rich foods. Thatโs part of why eating salmon, eggs, and yogurt can actually help us if we are looking for better hair slides. But what lies next is even more perplexing!
You may be cramming all the goodness that you think is adequate but still not see the results you actually want to happen to you! You are taking longer to recover from stress situations or donโt see muscle gain even after a workout. Any number of things could be stalling your progress. In all probability you may have missed the cue to begin with. What is good may not be enough. This happens when you lack enough proteins.
The proteins that would have otherwise been used for muscle building and repairs, are used to supply more to vital tissues. In fact when your muscles break down during stress activity, they simple wear away instead of building up stronger during repairs. This means that your body needs more of it to build up strength back again. This doesnโt have to come from a protein bar or shake but from nutritious foods in your meals and snacks.
Hereโs the foods that could give your hair and nails a boost, your sagging skin a natural lift and texture, those puffy dark circled eyes an unmistakable shine and luster, an envious upturn to six packs and above all help you stay stoked 24/7.
Image source: ‘ 6 reasons to stock your kitchen with blueberries’ by Daisy Melamed.
Blueberries We all know that antioxidants help protect our body’s cells against free radical damage.. This damage results in higher levels of stress hormones and inflammation that in turn harm all the cells in the body, including those in the hair and nails. Blueberries could just be the right choice to overcome this depletion. Among other fruits and dark greens, these berries have one of the highest antioxidant properties of all fruits.
Image source:: ‘The health benefits of Almonds” by Nicola Shubrook in BBC Goodfood.com.
Almonds These goodness picks are a rich source of protein and full of magnesium. An anti stress mineral, it helps maintain healthy hair and nails. Look out for those vertical ridges in your nails. This may be the sign of inadequate magnesium in your body. You can also get more magnesium through leafy greens and soybeans.
Image source: ‘Czech microbreweries call for ‘beer paramedics’ amid lockdown hangover’.by David Hutt.
Beer Interestingly, beer is one rich sources of silicon, a trace mineral that increases circulation to the scalp, which bodes well for hair growth. May be it is why a daily 10-mg silicon supplement is found to be enough to reduce hair and nail brittleness after about five month therapy. No need to go overboard, though. Most single servings of beer carry10 mg + of silicon. Soโฆno more than single drink a day for women and two for men unless you intend to ruin your diet plan.
Image source: ‘ Easy butter and herb baked Oysters’ by Diana Rattray.
Oysters These have 74 grams of zinc per serving, far more than any other food. Not interested enough to eat oysters every day? Or maybe you are a vegan or an absolute vegetarian buff ! Any one of beef, poultry, fortified cereals, and baked beans could help you up your intake of this vital nutrient.
Image source:: ‘Canadian milk : Forever free from antibiotics’ on 14 Feb 2019 by DFC-PLC com team.
Milk A link between vitamin D and hair loss has evoked renewed interest among those who experience everyday trauma over falling hair. Women who shed hair are believed to have lower vitamin D levels than those who flaunt healthy hair. Calcium is a key mineral in building healthy hair and nails and you need vitamin D to absorb calcium. Of course, vitamin-D fortified milk offers both, but supplements sans medical advice is a big โnayโ even if you think you might be deficient.
Image source: ’26 Things You Need To Know Before Buying A Carton of Eggs” by Olivia Tarantino.
Eggs Eggs are a good source of protein and contain little bit of vitamin D and biotin, a B-complex vitamin that plays a key role in keratin development. If you are deficient in biotin then it is very likely that you have weak hair and nails that are brittle and break one too often.
Image source:: ‘Easy salmon recipes’ in Olivemagazine.com on 08 Oct 2020.
Salmon Salmon is a good source of biotin and protein, along with omega-3 fatty acids which reduce inflammation and promote healthy moisturized skin. And mind you…your scalp is skin too. A healthy scalp means healthy hair follicles, and in turn strong lustrous hair. Omega-3s’ inflammation-reducing effects are also good for your nails.
Image source :’Double Baked Sweet Potatoes” in Macheesmo.com.
Sweet Potato This highly nutritious super food is just great for promoting keratin production. It is particularly high in beta carotene, which is converted into vitamin A in the body. This vitamin in turn promotes keratin synthesis and is so essential for skin and hair health.
Image source: ‘ A detailed guide to eating garlic and reaping it’s possible health benefits’ by Kristeen Chemey.
Garlic Garlic carries plentiful amounts of L-cysteine, an amino acid found in keratin and helps in toning the skin health. Garlic is also rich in beneficial micronutrients, including manganese, vitamin B6 and vitamin C including a powerful compound called allicin. Allicin acts as an antibiotic agent and helps cure respiratory infections.
Image source: ‘ UP: Mango sales dip due to Covid-19 lockdown’ in The Hawk dated 12 Jul 2020.
Mangoes A ripe mango is one delicious way to pack in some extra nutrients into your food. It is stuffed with pro-vitamin A that kicks up the synthesis of keratin. Mango is also high in several other key nutrients such as vitamin C and folate.
Image source: ‘Are Sunflower Seeds Good for You? Nutrition, Benefits and More” by Marsha McCulloch.
Sunflower Seeds Savory, satisfying and flavorful, these seeds are a great source of both biotin and protein that support keratin production. The seeds are also rich in a number of micronutrients including vitamin E, copper, selenium and pantothenic acid.
Image source::’Why Carrots Are The Superfood You Need In Your Diet’ in ZENB.com.
Carrots Carrots are loaded with vitamin C and promote collagen synthesis to support hair, skin and nail health. This vitamin also assists in wound healing, alleviates inflammation and protects against skin damage. These sweet, delicious crunchy taproots hold plenty of biotins, vitamin B6, potassium and vitamin K1 as add-ons. An exceptionally rich source ofcarotenes and vitamin-A, a 100 g fresh carrot contains 8,285 microgram of beta-carotene and 16,706 IU ( international unit) of vitamin-A.
Image source: ‘Curly Kale’ by Rory O’Connell in rte.ie/lifestyle/recipes/2015.
Kale This leafy green super food is a good source of pro-vitamin- A that supports keratin synthesis. It is also a great source of vitamin C that stimulates the production of collagen, a type of protein that manages the texture, strength and elasticity of your skin.
And donโt forget that quintessential water! Skin, hair, nails and all our cells need water to function as we are mostly made of water. So keep hydrated throughout the day, whether with water or through herbal teas.
Then there are those that you donโt just have to eatโฆ The beauty of using foods to nourish yourself means that often you can use them directly and indulge in a mini pampering session all by yourself. You can make a face mask of mashed avocado, cacao powder and ground turmeric or mashed papaya, coconut yoghurt and turmeric to hydrate, soften and make skin naturally glow. Try applying coconut or avocado oil to the hair, leave overnight as a hair mask, then rinse out in the morning. Or make a homemade body scrub with ground oats, olive oil and sugar or ground coffee, cacao powder and coconut oil.
Trust me, results would amaze you to no end!!
Shore up within and walk off into the sunset
Whatever you do and howsoever you intend to make it happen, simply learn to eat a little better than you have been doing so far. Remember changes didnโt happen to you!! Just aim to strike rich with what you devour. Choosing healthy flavorful foods are known to work best for those who realize that binge eats are your worst enemy and work on diet plans that indulge more on macronutrients.
After all living inside a healthy body doesnโt have to be difficult. One should be in sync with it and have fun together! Just step out, gather your wits and try new healthy, nutritious foods without gushing over.
You will be surprised how small changes could make a heap of difference !!
Mornings are usually rough. All of us hit that snooze button often one too many times, gulp down an extra cup of coffee to get us going and then rush out of the house before even thinking about breakfast to fuel our day. Only a few of us are stickler for an orderly breakfast and wouldnโt leave home without some fiber in their systems.
Breakfast is all important. It kick starts your metabolism and delivers nutrients and carbs you need so badly first thing in the morning after a 10 hour hiatus. Still looking for a more thoughtful reason to eat a hearty breakfast each morning!!. You must understand that this fast breaking habit helps to reduce the risk for type 2 diabetes. Those settling for measly morsel are 21 percent more likely to have type-2 diabetes in their lifetimes. Itโs equally important to understand that what you eat for breakfast is just as important as whether you eat. Carbohydrates, proteins, fatโฆ all have a vital role to fit in our breakfast.
Not all carbs are created equal. There are carbs that spike your blood sugar levels regardless when you eat them. Then there are the healthy ones that give you energy for longer period of time without hurting you. These are the breakfast eats that rally behind you. So, learn to plan your breakfast and include fat, protein and healthy carbs in your menu. The combination has amazing gastronomic value and the experience will keep you feeling happy and full without flirting with your blood sugar levels.
Hereโs to few awesome healthy ideas;
Cheap and healthy: Eggs are the best
Eggs are inexpensive, go easy on your GI tract and can be cooked in any number of ways. Hard-boiled, poached, or scrambled, these miracle orbs are the perfect morning eats.
Eggs are a rich and complete source of protein and contain nutrients such as betaine and choline, which contribute to cardiac health. A single egg locks in vitamins such as B-2 (to ease food assimilation and turn it into energy), B-12 (to help in producing red blood cells), A (to improve eyesight), and E (to aid in preventing cell damage that could turn cancerous). The popularity of the eggs just doesnโt ends here. These amazing spheroids bookmark their presence on our menu list more importantly because of their ability to double up as a whole meal. Immensely popular with health freaks, egg leaves a lot of room for creativity and for squeezing in as many healthy ingredients as one likes.
Although omelets are one of the healthiest breakfast foods and work out as a wholesome breakfast, they often end up unintentionally with a lot more calories added to them than necessary.
Nothing betters Oatmeal as your regular choice
One pitch-in breakfast that is high on fiber, easy to prepare, needs few ingredients, and is high on nutrition is cold cereal or oatmeal with no more than 1 percent milk with a small handful of nuts thrown in. Oatmeal is a whole grain with a ever growing list of health benefits. Fix yourself a bowl every morning and you can lower your risk for high blood pressure and Type 2 diabetes. It could even help you in your weight loss plan and bad cholesterol management.
Since it’s so important to begin your day right with your body all perked up, oatmeal is an ideal choice as a healthy food for breakfast. A great source of fiber, it works well with nutritious toppings like fresh fruits slices, hearty nuts, and calcium-rich milk.
Eggs served with whole grain or wheat toast and fruit: Cue to change in your eats!
Another no frill meal with all the goodness you need to start your day is one or two boiled or poached eggs perched atop whole grain or wheat toast and fruit. With just 140 calories, two eggs serve you with 12 grams of quality protein, or 24 percent of the daily requirement for this nutrient on a 2,000-calorie diet. Add on like cheese, milk and vegetables raise the calorie count. The two orbs also provide you generous amounts of micronutrients, like 15 to 35 percent of the required value for several B vitamins and 25 percent of the minerals selenium and choline.
Meanwhile a slice of whole-wheat bread chips in another 76 calories and 4 grams of protein. Spreads using butter or jam could make the calorie count jumps. Whole grain varieties of bread that carry the additional benefit of fiber, help in filling up and keep your guts happy.
If youโre worried that with eggs for breakfast you could be jeopardizing your cardiac health, rest easy. While eggs are high in dietary cholesterol, their effect on cholesterol levels is minimal. But if you’re still worried about cholesterol, let go of the yolk and use egg whites instead which have only half the protein and fewer vitamins than whole eggs. The whites are cholesterol-free!
Breakfast burrito is here!!
What could be a more delightful way to begin your Sunday morning and break long food hiatus since last night than a mouthwatering burrito!! Stuffed with beans, eggs low-fat cheese and a high-fiber tortilla this could be your best bet for a great meal for a leisurely breakfast when you have that extra time to spare. With just under 200 calories in a full breakfast burrito, you can feast on one of these alongside some salsa, fresh fruit, and maybe a cup of coffee for a filling.
Generally, vegetarian burritos are more healthy because they’re filled with beans, rice, and veggies. The nutritional value of course depends on the ingredients you add. One that will push up the calorie count is sour cream. There’s hardly any difference between store-bought dairy and vegan versions.
Cottage cheese and fruit combination is all business when it comes to nutrition
Do yourself a favor and start eating this combination for your breakfast if you’re not already doing so. Refreshing and inexpensive it can be prepared with any kind of fruit. It’s high in many nutrients, including protein, B vitamins, and minerals like calcium, selenium, and phosphorus. If you’re looking to lose weight or build muscle, cottage cheese is among the most beneficial foods you can eat. Calorie for calorie, it is mostly just protein with very little carbohydrates and fat. Eating plenty of cottage cheese is a great way to boost your protein intake. It is also very satiating, making you feel full with a relatively low number of calories. Cottage cheese also helps in soothing your blood pressure, for it is a lower-fat cheese.
The recommended amount of this dairy per day is three 30g portions, but not cheese alone. It should also contain other dairy products like milk and yoghurt in a balanced diet.
Breakfast smoothies have everything
Smoothies could turn out to be an exquisite breakfastโit’s all about the ingredients and keeping reasonable portions. Super healthy breakfast smoothies are quick and easy to make, and of course, are delicious too!
A healthy smoothie recipe is packed with protein, fiber, unsaturated fats, and essential vitamins and minerals. A supercharged smoothie tastes great, is meant to keep you full until lunchtime and includes these five essential nutrients.
Fruit: Fruit has more to offer than simply adding sweetness. An excellent source of fiber and the“good carbs” it serves as an excellent fuel source. Bananas for instance are a smoothie staple and pair well with an array of other fruits.
Yogurt: Protein is the missing link in many smoothie recipes, but adding a small amount of yogurtโjust ยผ cupโkicks in extra six grams towards your daily goal.
Liquid: All smoothies need a wee bit of liquid to combine properly. Unsweetened almond milk is one good choice but you can use any variety of unsweetened nut milk, freshly-squeezed orange juice, or just plain water.
Nut Butter: A scoop of your favorite nut butter would add satiating unsaturated fatsand an incredible bang-for-your-bucknutrition.
Greens: Slip in a handful of greens into your smoothie for that extra dose of fiber and key vitamins and minerals. Tender, mild-flavored greens like baby spinach would just do great.
Mix-ins: These are optional and include fresh herbs such as basil and mint or fresh ginger to give that extra punch to flavor without affecting nutrition.
Why should your breakfast never lack
Breakfast rallies importance for several reasons. A nutritious wholesome meal in the morning, it serves necessary fuel to our body and brain. It also helps regulate hunger and reduces the urge to snack intermittently throughout the day.
For a nutritious breakfast, try to choose whole unprocessed foods from each of these food groups: fruits, vegetables, grains, protein foods, and dairy. Include proteins from foods like yogurts (hunt for less sugar added versions), eggs, nuts and seeds or legumes. Also add complex carbohydrates such as whole fruits and vegetables, and whole grains (i.e. oatmeal) that provide fiber and help you feel full longer.
If you want to feel and look your best, always eat a proper breakfast to help get you off on the right foot. Carving out time to feed yourself nutritious foods in the morning gets your metabolism going strong and letโs your body know itโs okay to burn calories throughout the day.
After all, even if you love your morning spread as much as the person next to you, remember at some point of time you have to reign in your urge for fancy eats. Some of the answers to your search for nutritious food options and healthy fulfilling life may surprise you but thenโฆ
Everybody loves Sunday meal. But prep for the week ahead …making faces already!! Sometimes planning out meals each week can get a little monotonous and boring. But for those who rush out of home for a 8-10 hr job each day, meal prep for week ahead is how it begins on Sundays. It probably is the best suited way to keep track of your eats. It also sets of your week ahead with a healthy fresh mind set. Planning out your meals and stocking your refrigerator likewise could free you enough to look forward to your workouts for that week.
If you โfail to plan, plan to fail is imminentโ!
When you plan your meals for the week ahead, not only you learn to resize the portion but also plan to fuel yourself with wholesome nutrition; foods that make you want to work that much more! To me it always rings sweetโฆโabs are made in kitchenโ. You just need not tease your brain to know when your body looks for healthy food for endurance, strength and even weight loss .
What foods to eat for an upright body
Plants do not eat. They make their own food under the sun. But animals and we humans are different. We all need to eat to live and grow. We have so many choices to make about what we eat. Some of these choices are healthier than others. Plant or animals, itโs the food that gives body the much required energy and what we decide to eat coincides with our stress levels.
Consider your food like invisible bits of energy that need to be consumed in right proportion. If you eat too much, extra calories turn into fat, if you eat too little it wonโt be long when you become a bag of skin and bones.
Each one of us needs a different number of calories. It depends on how active you are. It depends on what size you are. And above all it depends on what you eat.
Nutrients are invisible but vital for your life
You canโt see nutrients everybody talks so much about, but you cannot live without them either! What you eat provides you the nutrients and helps the body do its job. Each nutrient works differently. Protein makes your body grow and heal itself when you get hurt. Eating meat or fish could do the trick or you could get them from plants like bean and nuts.
Most of the energy that you get from food comes from carbohydrates. Starches like rice, wheat are good source of carbs. And so are the sugars found in fruits, milk honey etc.
These are natural sugars, a wee bit different from the refined sugar and are found in soft drinks and flavored fruit juices. Bad choice indeed.
Minerals have their hands full
Minerals or salts have too many jobs to take care of. Calcium for instance found in dairy products and greens builds up your frame and teeth. Salts like iron, sodium and zinc carry out vital body functions. Then body needs vitamins too. These work as catalyst to various physiological functions and are on high priority. Vitamin C for one keeps your gums healthy and is found in citrus fruits. Vitamin D works with minerals and helps you work out strong bones and teeth.
And then there is the resolute one; the water. Up to 60% of the human adult body is water. The brain and heart are composed of 73% water, and the lungs are about 83% water. The skin contains 64% water, muscles and kidneys are 79%, and even the bones are watery: 31%. In fact every cell in our body is surrounded by water. It helps body to get rid of waste and stay at safe temperature.
Trust me, it is important to eat and more important to eat well. To eat healthy you need to follow a few simple rules. Eat lots of fruits and veggies. Eat smaller amount of grains and dairy and proteins. Eat even smaller amounts of fat. Sweets and snacks are high on calorie, fare poor on nutrients and are your worst enemy. Take a strong vow and drop them from your list of regular eats.
Jump start your day with quality eats
Begin your day with a hearty breakfast that will fuel your energy levels. But, no high fat or high calorie foods! You could settle for protein and fresh fruit to begin your day. If you get a large breakfast to your fill, mid morning snack turns optional. You may not get the hunger pangs till lunchtime. Still if the belly protests, a bite or two of light snack wonโt hurt.
Lunch is a great time to savor a pack of sandwich or leftovers that you can heat and eat. If you choose for a quick grab, buy a healthy clear soup or fresh veggie salad. A mid afternoon snack is elective. Just eat enough to tide you over till dinner time, a couple of hours away.
โAny timeโ Foods are chartbuster on nutrition counts
We love a good cheat every once in a while, but we are more comfortable indulging if we know that weโve gotten our fill of essential vitamins and nutrients. To make sure that youโre getting enough of the good stuff, include these nine foods in your daily menu, and you may agree after a while that these simple and healthy foods work for real in a convincing way.
Eggs
One of the best sources of proteins, eggs raise your metabolism fast enough to let you feel energized. However, if your cholesterol level is high, then ยญconsume only egg whites and not the yolk. Egg whites are a pure source of protein, and ideal if you want to lose weight.
Oatmeal
Ever wondered why you crave most in the morning for sugary products like doughnuts? It is because this early morning snack attack is caused by dip in sugar levels. Itโs almost 10 hrs since you ate last. Go for plain oatmeal. It gives you that healthy feeling of fullness and stays in your stomach for hours. It is an excellent choice if you want to curb and reduce belly fat.
High-Fiber Cereal
For maintaining a healthy body especially if you look forward to a flat tummy and push weight loss, cereal is your best option. It contains enough fiber to fill you up and keep your digestive system happy.
Legumes
Like lentils, chickpea and beans too contain a sizeable amount of zinc. 100 gms of cooked lentils contain 12 per cent of the daily recommended value of zinc. Legumes on the other hand are rich in fiber and protein and also have phytates which inhibit absorption of zinc and other minerals. Moreover, include green beans in your salad and soups as well. The fiber of green beans helps manage blood sugar levels and you could ward off those afternoon sugar cravings.
Lean protein
Lean proteins help in speeding up the metabolism while encouraging body to burn more fat. Turkey, chicken breast, pork, and beef (with fat trimmed off, like ground roast, ground, sirloin, tenderloin, etc.) deliver muscle building protein sans much of saturated fat. This is where you can indulge and slake your inner carnivore.
Cruciferous Veggies
Veggies top the chart when it comes to stoking your daily calorie firepit. Low in calories, high in fiber and essential nutrients cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, kale, all work as anti-carcinogen by reducing oxidative stress and stimulating enzymes in the body that fights the toxins.
Bananas
Banana is one of the easiest foods to indulge in as your daily diet because it is such a versatile food. Whip up a smoothie or throw one in your office bag for an on-the-go snack. High in potassium, the fruit helps in reducing the risk of high blood pressure and stroke. One medium size banana loads in more than 400mg of this micronutrient.
Nuts
Whenever you get that crazy little pang of hunger in the middle of your work, go for nuts rather than gorge on junk food like chips and pizzas. Nuts like almonds, cashew and ยญpistachios are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, and have a low ยญcalorie count. Skip ยญthe salted ones though for too much of sodium could raise your blood pressure. Of course theyโre full of heart-healthy goodness but their only downfall is high calorie counts. So just pick a small size serving and get the most of bang for your calorie buck.
Berries
The antioxidants in berries (like strawberries and blueberries) block the enzyme responsible for ยญbreaking starch into simple sugar. This means fewer ยญsimple sugars are released into the blood stream, lowering the blood sugar and the ยญcorresponding insulin response. The key to your weight loss lies here!…. for insulin shuttles excess sugar into fat cells.
โPerfectโ one-size-fits all prep isnโt there
Whether you aim to raise your energy, lose weight, or to simply learn to eat a little better, you would do well to get organized in the kitchen and strike rich with your meal prep.Simply create a meal plan and choose healthy flavorful eats that works best for you. After all living a healthy lifestyle doesnโt have to be difficult. You should be in sync with it and have fun together! Just step outside your comfort zone and try new healthy, nutritious eats without bothering about your waistline.
You will be amazed how small things make a world of difference!!
If a quick bite is your only choice then reach out for those sumptuous street foods without worrying about your waist line. Itโs no big deal! You could even escape the trip to an expensive restaurant with your diet plan intact and find healthier options among the street foods that are notorious as diet disasters.
An ideal food that does not derail the diet is one that isnotloaded with high fat and high salt or flaunt high calorie items and essentially carries a plate that is half fresh fruits or veggies, a quarter of whole grains and the rest lean protein. Look out for grilled, baked or boiled options veggies preferably and then add sides of salad or a fruit salad. This could be your spread if you look for healthy options every time you rush for a quick bite.
A third of people who eat at food joint three or four times a week are obese. More often we forget that for almost every meal that we take, smart choices arethere for our picking. That doesnโt mean that you should avoid fast food entirely if you are looking for a few healthy options to order each time you eat out. If you are on the run and hungry, street foods are not only fast but usually hit the spot each time. They are cheap, tasty and above all- so convenient.
The key however is self restraint- both in how often you frequent these street food joints and what you eat leaning on side rails. Street food menus are tricky if you are watching your belly. Finding safe and healthy food at these wayside joints is always a challenge, but there are always choices that you can make that are healthier than others. Just learn to keep your entire meal to 500 calories or less โฆno more. The average adult eats 836 calories per tuck-in each time and usually underestimates what he or she ate by about 175 calories. Soโฆ no wild guesses- nutritional info on various food items is available at number of websites and franchise locations. Take advantage of this info. Opt for foods that are lower in fat and high in protein and fiber. Look for items with more good stuff like fiber, whole grains and high quality protein. Look out for spreads that are low in saturated fats and steer clear of dishes that carry trans fats.
But then you could be wrong if you assume that healthy sounding dishes are always the best bet. Many salads turn into a diet minefield once they get smothered in high fat dressings and fried toppings. This is where learning before ordering could make a huge difference. Remember what you eat is your best bet to live a healthier lifestyle.
Hereโs how;
Pin on to zero calorie beverages
Soda, a huge source of hidden calories packs in around 300 calories in a large pack. Shakes are even worse and have about 800 calories stowed in โ thatโs a dayโs worth of saturated fats. And donโt be fooled by lemonades or fruit drinks. These add calories and sugar and definitely lack much in the way of nutrient. Be wiser about sides and ask for water, diet soda, or unsweetened tea instead.
Those side dishes are evil and mean no good to you
Beware of items that come with side dishes. Sides like fries, chips, rice, noodles, onion rings, coleslaw, macaroni and cheese, biscuits, and mashed potatoes with gravy, could set the calories flying. Better bets are salads with light dressing, baked potato that are easy on the toppings, fresh fruits, or corn on the cob (a cooked ear of freshly picked maize).
And pass on those French fries for you could do without them. A sandwich or burger has plenty of filling of its own. Still if your meal doesnโt sound complete without this ravishing evil choose the smallest size. This could be a whopping 400 calories lesser than the large serving.
Even lean meat could wreck your diet plan
Adding meats- even the lean ones to sandwiches and salads is always a tempting thought. But these have very few nutrients and are high in fat and calories. Ask for extra pickles, onions, lettuce, tomatoes or mustard to add flavor without the fat. Even skipping high fat toppings like cheese, noodles and croutons could save you from adding hundreds of calories!
And if you could, avoid salads that have deep fried sea food, cheese and sour cream that make them high fat, high calorie diet-chart busters.
How promising are the diet plans
Diet plans are time consuming and could make you often wonder if fast food is the only way to cram a meal into a busy schedule. May be you just couldnโt let go of those spellbinding McDee burger! Either way itโs all too easy to overload on fast food items with high counts of trans fat, salt and additives that could bring some serious harm to your health.
But did you know that there are healthy food options too on the food menu of these street side joints? While most nutritionists would reject the idea of eating fast foods that are on best weight loss tips, there are plenty of street foods that are loaded with nutrients and go easy with calories at the same time.
A lot many sidewalk joints are offering these options now. Some of these are sure to surprise you if you are apprehensive about the scary ingredients hiding in your favorite dish! Save yourself the trouble. You could always check with 20 odd nutritionist approved menu items on the Net you can trust. These joints serve you far less spooky stuff than you could have imagined; more as a margin trimming exercise than any afterthought on foodโs nutritional value that is served. Whateverโฆ you win either way. Less ingredients and still lesser trans fats means your worst fears have the bottom knocked out.
Once you decide on living a healthy lifestyle, you need to gradually change the way you look at what comprises a healthy meal. Be determined to make this change for the long term and not because of any urge to make this a fad.
Looking for something refreshing and healthy!
If you think that you are done with the recipes doing round on the internet and want to try something new and healthy- these street food items might tickle your taste buds right. Not only these could be appropriate to what you consider as flavorful and healthy but you could also have a taste of savory cuisines- literally.
South Indian Food : You can start by trying South Indian healthy street food items that bet on strong flavors, go easy with fats and are finger-licking good! Needless to say the cuisine has set firm roots all over the world. Soft, steamed idlis are not only extremely healthy, but are absolutely delicious with coconut chutney and sambhar. Crispy fried dosas are an anytime snack favorite and can compliment practically any gravy. Though traditionally made with coconut, the chutney can also be made with onions, tomatoes, chilies and coriander!
Palak Paneer: Healthy, delicious and innovative, Palak Paneer essentially made with spinachand farmerโs cottage cheese (paneer), is nearly always the star of the table when it comes to vegetarian fare. Add a few naans or rotis (flatbreads) to it and you have a complete nutritious meal.
Biryani: This classic concoction of rice and chicken has more variants than any other dish! Modifications specific to various regions is what keeps this dish interesting. While some keep it classic, many street side eateries mix the rice with a pre-cooked gravy for the moist flavorsome appeal and then add the meat.
Corn on the cob : Another widely adored street food is corn on the cob (also known as bhutta). The corncobs are roasted on a hot coal stove and then rubbed with some lemon juice, salt and spices. A variant of this is the boiled American corn that is sold in small plastic cups. Beware of the amount of butter that goes into it, though!
Sandwich: The toasted sandwich is a particularly popular snack, Stuffed with tomato, potato, cucumber and onion and lathered with some chutney; sandwich can be eaten plain or toasted. The fillings vary and may include vegetables such as capsicum and beetroot. Most sandwich vendors now offer the option of brown bread as well, although mass-produced brown bread is hardly the healthy variety.
Momos: Always very popular as a savory dish, these steamed dumplings are a healthy and filling snack on the go. Vegetables or meats are stuffed inside parcels made of rice flour. These are usually served piping hot with spicy sauces.
Pav bhaji: Infinitely popular this Indian street food is generally made spicy, loaded with veggies and lugs a generous amount of butter. Though it is loved throughout the year, winters are the best time to relish this for all the vegetables that can be added to it. Just take a look at those peas on top, you will understand what I am saying.
McDonald’s Grilled Chicken Classic Sandwich: Grilled chicken sandwiches generally make better healthy lunches than hamburger patties. Pair yours with a salad and light dressing and low-fat milk or water to drink. This fast food is not meant to expand your waistline for calories may be far below 500, but your blood pressure may take a flip because of high sodium contents, if you gorge on it regularly. So, don’t bite it too often!
Burger King Whopper Jr. : Burgers could be a smart choice if you load yours with veggies like onions, tomatoes, lettuce, and pickles for added flavor without additional salt or fat. Skipping cheese and settling for barbecue sauce or ketchup instead of mayonnaise saves on calories. You could try the garden patty option too. Regardless of which burger you pick, skip the bun and you could slice off another 140 calories.
Singapore Chili Crab: If you have a knack for spicy meals, schedule your next rush to a roadside eatery for lunch grab where crab finds prominence in the menu ! This dish is healthy because it contains 45 grams of protein and only 9 grams of fat. The micronutrients that this dish offers are essential for keeping your weight on track.
Korean Fried Chicken Burger: The perfect combination of fried chicken and burgers into your plate is created to not make you feel guilty about eating it. This dish contains 19 grams of protein and 2 grams of fiber. The recipe could be a bit tricky because it combines ingredients that are meant for the chicken with the kimchi-style sauce.
Tandoori Chicken: Chicken is one of the best sources of protein, and is naturally low in calories. The only concern is that itโs preparation require oil which compromises on the health factor. Tandoori chicken is however, prepared without any oil, from a paste made of chicken, spices, and a little butter. Just make sure your vendor doesnโt use artificial colors and youโre good to go,
Sweet potato: Potatoes are ever woefully accused of being unhealthy and leading to weight gain. On the contrary potatoes are good for health. Sweet potatoes are loaded with a number of nutrients like vitamins A, B, and C, and minerals like manganese, potassium, and iron, along with a good amount of fiber. Topped with lemon and spices to enhance flavor there is nothing wrong with having sweet potato, even regularly.
Stuffed Parantha : This version of Indian flatbread is satiating, contains the richness of butter, and is delicious. Street joints usually offer stuffed variants ranging from vegetables, boiled potato or paneer all mixed with assortment of taste enhancing spices. These fillers are needless to say, good for health. What more, it is prepared on the spot, so you could watch and ensure that the person making it uses less oil. The paratha itself is made of wheat flour, so nothing wrong over there. Butter, which in low quantities is perfectly healthy, and the pickle is also none too bad for your guts or health.
A hot bowl of Soup: Whenever the time is of the essence and is running short, instant soup is a quick fix for eating on a time crunch and getting respite from the stress conditions. It works as an easy and comforting snack for people of all ages.
Spiced lamb and Feta gozleme : Who says you can no longer eat a single pizza when you want to live a healthier lifestyle? Turkish Gozleme with Lamb are savory homemade flatbreads filled with ground lamb, spices, herbs and feta cheese. You wonโt be able to eat just one! Theyโre incredibly delicious and full of great flavors! Each serving contains 65 grams of carbs, 4 grams of fiber and 38 grams of protein.
Shawarma: Shawarma is a dish from Middle Eastern cuisine consisting of meat cut into thin slices, stacked in a cone-like shape, and roasted on a slowly-turning vertical rotisserie or spit. Originally made of lamb or mutton, today’s shawarma may also be chicken, turkey, beef, or veal. However, shawarmas typically run in the 600-calorie neighborhood, once you’ve added in the pita and sauces. So if you wish to maintain your toned flat stomach, try only once in a while or only to make good your calorie shortfall. Whateverโฆ itโs delightful, divine and knock-out tasty, all at the same time.
Get the best in health and wellness
Your attempt to have a healthier lifestyle should not be harmed just because of the limited options for food available for you. You should be inquisitive enough to search for healthier meals around you, and street foods could become an excellent option for you. And there are a lot of healthy finger foods which you can try and that wonโt break your teeth when you bite into them.
Think about this in your next internet search and I am sure, youโll be able to discover more food cart dishes that fit to your healthy lifestyle!
A lot of renewed interest and enthusiasm is recently seen in โedible weed walksโ. Following the lockdown people have started using the knowledge they have gathered over the time about what a certain plant is, whether it is edible and how to go about preparing a fancy meal out of it. ย These guys love experimenting with recipes and get excited over finding new edible plants in the most unexpected of places; in the crevices between pavement stones and broken asphalt, in overgrown street sides, sidewalks, abandoned lots and parks.
Many of these weeds and plants we usually dismiss as having no culinary taste or medicinal value. A class of new urban foragers however thinks otherwise. For them โthe food is already there, itโs just not recognized as one.โ
Hereโs why;
Image source: ’11 plants you can forage in Spring’ by Jonathon Engels in onegreenplanet.org
You could feast on sidewalk salads
I find a new class of urban foragers sporting pruning shears and a plastic bag, walk along the sidewalks each morning scouting for plants and weeds that can make them a tasty salad or stir-fry. The other day my septuagenarian neighbor was stalking from a sidewalk weed with downy leaves and white powder commonly called goosefoot or lambโs quarters. Goosefootย is a cousin to spinach, but actually more nutritious. You could treat it like spinach in the kitchen. You canย sautรฉ ย it with butter, add it in soups or even justย eatย it raw and marvel at its crunchy texture and mild flavor.
“I collect a lot of thisโ, he would confide in me sometimes. โIt is indistinguishable from spinach when you cook it. I never ever buy spinach or other greens except kaleโ. And I would nod with all seriousness. Honestly I didn’t know what was this ‘kale’thing he was talking about until recently. The internet of things has made me a little wiser on this;
A member of the cabbage family, kale is a leafy green thatโs related to Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and other cruciferous veggies that have high concentration of vitamins, minerals, and fiber. Closer to wild cabbage it isa vegetable with green or purple leaves. Few also know it as “Karam Saag”.
He is among a small group of new class of urban foragers who would collect weeds and plants from city sidewalks and their backyards to use in meals and sometimes as medicine. Some claim to be survivalists while a few declare themselves as environmentalist but clans apart, all seek new flavors for cooking.
Unlike a big city where more and more people are getting attracted to this unique gourmet activity, he leads a small group of 10 odd people only each weekend to forage. โPeople have a lot many different reasons. They are freegans, vegans, food lovers, environmentalist and itโs definitely more middle class than working classโ,he would sum up. A boisterous smile would then crease his wrinkled face momentarily for having shared the secret.
Choice rather than necessity
Urban foraging has become ย more of a choice than a necessity today. Most foragers see both the health and environmental benefits to eating a more natural diet. The spare time the lockdown offers and uncertainty facing the gourmet joints has spurred interest in foraging- a practice so widespread in rural hinterland and amongst the indigenous communities everywhere that it has gained acceptance as an epicurean delight.
Perhaps it is the Natureโs way of manifesting โhealingโ during the lockdown that sidewalks and parking lots have turned greener and resemble a supermarket shelf. Or probably it is the deserted streets and thin traffic these days that has made me take notice of what has always been there โ a surprising lush treat of edible greens that most of us would dismiss as weeds and unwanted part of urban backdrop.
These are the super foods that could ask for premium price tags, are delicious and savory and most sought after by those who love exploring food. Amaranth, Purslane and Wood sorrel are a few that could well be used in stir-fries, salads, smoothies, pickles, soups and even as garnish.
But what makes them so special..!!
Amaranth is classified as a pseudo cereal as it differs from other grains found in the market. Grown for its starchy gluten free edible seeds, it does not belong to the family of cereals like rice and wheat but is incredibly versatile in its uses.ย Rich in antioxidants, micro-nutrients, ย fiber and protein. Few also know it as โRajgiraโ, โSeelโ or โRamdanaโ.
Purslane is a green leafy vegetable that could also be eaten raw. Scientifically called Portulaca oleracea, it is also known as pigweed, little hogweed and fat weed. (โKulpha-ka-Saagโ).
Wood sorrel, a rhizomatous flowering plant from Oxalidaceae family is a native of most of Europe and parts of Asia. Leaves, flowers, and seed pods, which resemble miniature okra fruits are all edible.ย It begins to wilt almost immediately after harvesting, so it’s best eaten on the spot. Itโs tangy, somewhat sour flavor makes it an excellent garnish in just about any salad.
Promises of foraging
Skeptics still dog the urban foraging. What bugs me most are the people who are merely excited about eating wild plants. These are the survivalist who believe that they could somehow subsist on anything wild and vegan. Actually put to test they who would most likely end up starving to death. โThereโs a thin line between badass and dumbass.โ- Rebecca Lerner had retorted in โDandelion Hunterโ. After a week of living off the land in Portland, she had penned; โMy body was achy and limp. My legs were so weak that I had to brace myself against the wall like an old lady who lost her walker.โ She eventually gave up and gorged on Thai food.ย
Herbalists meanwhile insist on telling everybody that such and such is good for the liver, this will flush out your toxins; that will cure you of breathlessness etc. etc. I do believe in alternative medicines but when I try to learn something, I want my information to be verifiable rather than based on hearsay. When somebody chips in and tells me that Echinacea (purportedly widely used in treatment of different kind of infections) cures cold, it instinctively makes me doubt everything else.
Then there are the taste-bud-less ones; those who would happily munch on tough old dandelionsand find them delicious.
It is pretty easy to find books and videos that could tell you which plants are โedibleโ. But my quest instead is for plants and weeds that actually taste good. There are lot many plants that the experts would advise you to boil thrice changing water every time before you could eat if you are starving. Many more would rush to enlighten you on the ability of this or that plant to pass through your mouth undetected for it is mild in texture but toothsome. These are the people who would frequently ignore flavor.
Letโs not give an ear to how the three classes of foragers find favor with their revelations.ย Letโs not spoil the fun for whatโs done right, could be truly good feast. But are foraged plants and weeds good enough to see you through the day? Certainlyย not. You must understand that you canโt actually survive on wild salads alone. Itโs the fruits, nuts, seeds, roots that provide you the extra calories. Blackberries, pine nuts, and Manzanita flowers in the spring and their powdery, sun baked berries in the fall could well add flavor to your plate. And what moreโฆ
Donโt eat merely because these โstarvation saladsโ sound pretty good right now. Donโt even think of two or three star Michelin star restaurants World over that are serving foraged weeds already. These finest restaurants rely on the art of tapping the flavors and textures of things people normally donโt think of as food. It just happens that you might make a meal more a little more delicious with a touch of wild. Just donโt eat your yard, for wild plants are free for your picking.
ย Foraging is no Fiddlesticks
โPeople do everything they can to get rid of them, and they keep coming back. If you canโt beat them why not eat them?โ (in Snacking In-Between Sidewalks: Angela Johnston)
There are still two issues that need straight answers, First, is it safe to eat green that grows amid spilled paint, auto exhaust, dog piss, the insurmountable urban filth and grime? Second, will the people who definitely need more greens in their daily intake, have the time to forage for, wash and cook them?
Plants do absorb pollutants and toxic waste but itโs unclear if they take in enough to cause concern. The second question is a bit tricky. Foraging could be your only choice and makes perfect sense if you are cash poor and time rich.But it makes no sense if you are working with 8-10 hr job and still broke. I have seenย attempts to fix food deserts fail, not because people lacked access to veggies but they probably didnโt have the skills to make them delicious, or the time to prepare them.
As Foraging Gump would have quipped, โYou never know what youโre gonna get.โ ย
While the virus has made starker the impact of human activities on the environment, some emphasize foraging is the way to adopt a more sustainable lifestyle. Could you flaw the attempt to localize and decolonize food through foraging?ย Is there anything wrong when it means reducing your food miles and carbon footprint?
There is still a lot of resistance to urban foraging though. People are wary and wonder if the food is โcleanโenough, whether the land is contaminated. Good ย enough reasons to think twice before consuming foraged food!
Gourmands seeking new flavors for cooking however donโt worry too much. They are careful not to forage in or near industrial or former industrial areas. They also do not pick from areas of high foot traffic or where dogs are walked. But other than that everything else seems alright to โpick cleanโ, to be swished in cold water once at home and ready to be consumed. ย Compared to the kind of pesticides that are used in cultivation of most โgrocery store veggiesโ, foraged finds are a wee bit more safe.
Trust me, at the end of the day dipping your toast in a delicious pesto when you least expected it, and devouring flavorful and irrepressibly delicious spreads could make it all worthwhile . Experience the flavors of these foods for once and then decide for yourself.
I think the majority of you when you experience these wild edibles, are going to think, โOh yes! itโs yum. I like that.โ
If you believe that spending time with your kids and spouse is the key to your happiness, you could be in for a surprise!ย People actually experience higher level of wellness being while chilling around with friends than they do when spending time with their family!!
Itโs shocking but true!
For quite a few, happiness does not mean spending time with family and finding relevance in unpleasant tasks like chores or caretaking duties. People admit that they usually feel higher sense of well being once they find themselves surrounded by friends and laze around, rather they do when in comforting nearness of their romantic companion or kids. Strangely, happiness marker falls sharply being around with romantic partners!!
It’s so hard to believe but our brains are wired like this. We prefer to spend more time doing enjoyable activities with friends than with our family members. What more, the bond between friends gets stronger with age and eventually could outweigh the connect with the family. These relationships โmake a world of differenceโ and even explain why and how often people feel sick, and happy.
Does this has anything to do with the kith-kin relationship? Why โmere presenceโof kids, romantic partners on one side and friends on the other do not promise similar level of happiness?
Most frequent things that people do when in company of their romantic partners include socializing, relaxing and dining out. These are no different from what they do when in the company of their friends; but there is a catch here. They just do a lot more of these fun activities while hanging with their friends and virtually no housework in the bargain. Whatโs more surprising is that people feel similar level of wholesomeness while in presence of friends, partners and children, once the household chores and commuting activity is taken out of their daily lives.
There definitely is a lesson here!!
Family relationships that rally around housework and childcare tend to lose sheen fast and most likely will shed a lot of happiness quickly. On the contrary, when we create opportunities for positive experience and spend exciting times with our family, we get to appreciate those moments inwardly.
Surround yourself with people who make you happy
Who makes us happy? Highly likely, it is someone that we had spent a significant amount of time with. And how does it matter to our happiness and well being? Those of us who associate themselves with cheerful people have a happier attitude and consequently a better sense of well being. Itโs one personโs happiness that influences moods of those around him. Itโs a chain reaction. The closer you are to such people, the longer their disposition affects your mood. The longer you live close to such a person, the stronger the effect is.
Life is too short to live miserably. Get surrounded by people who could make you happy. Find ways to turnoff anyone and everyone who breathes down your neck. Remember, heightened happiness always relieves you of stress and the rush of optimism that follows could be overwhelming.
For once let go of things. Stand true to your habits and just push over that first domino; the fear of making a worthy choice- between family and friend.
Happiness needs a warm friend
A good friendship is one that stems from mutual respect and rejoinder. It may not make us feel good but then itโs not meant to serve either pleasure or utility. Rather its friendship for friendship sake- the gold equivalent of human relationship. A lucky few amongst us may have a handful of good friends at any given time in our lives and it does not matter if they are lifelong or relatively new. Itโs their uniqueness that makes them irreplaceable.
Then there is a generally accepted connection between friendship, happiness and longevity. Trust me you are more likely to ripe through a golden โover-the hillโ life if you savor good health and contentment.
So, go aheadโฆ sell yourself a lot of quality friendship and try not to forget that friends are important to us not only as a person who gives an earful but because a great many interactionsโ largely unplanned-help build trust amid shared concerns and confidences.
Times spent in taverns, bars, coffee shops, clubs, usual haunts are the obvious examples that create inner circles among friends. They largely accommodate your mood, frequently mimic intimacy and excite you way different than you would otherwise experience when spending time quietly within a staid family.
It is here that sharp contrast of accommodating changes come to blows. The post WW-II โbaby boomersโ who rejected and shelved the traditional values, today prefer to hold family in esteem much above the friends. Gen-Xers see family and friend as a distinction with less of a difference. And millennials live in a world where friends equate if not truly trump the family.
Itโs not hard to acceptthat one thing that characterizes this generation. The amount of weight and heft it lends to friendship. For once the voice of โweโ has grown more teeth and โweโ is now not always traditional family, a home, a child or a romantic partner. Sometimes it is good friends hammering sense out of success, failure, opportunities and โฆchoosing differently. While family relationships are โoften enjoyable too,โ these involve serious and negative interactions too.
This does not mean that a typical family rupture is inevitable as turning points assault family togetherness. Itโs just that the millennial generation does not fancy family as a โgo-toโframe of reference any longer. Maybe because friendship has turned intuitive. May be making & keeping friends whiffs of a rare experience; one that ignores and pushes the family connect right under the carpet.
Close affinities like family just donโt pop out of nowhere and mature fast. Some would argue that at times it protects from negative association of friends too. Probably yes! but itโs a whole different kind of โwe,โ completely separate from the friendship, that I am referring to.
Staving off monotony is not enough to score over family!
โIf we donโt unpack our experiences, weโre right on to the next thing and never really think, โWhat does this mean for me?โ or โHow did this influence where Iโm going next?โโ Kelly Guilbeau (Center for Careers, Life, and Service )
Comfortably said, friendship is no more than a navigation tool to happiness but itโs uncertain continuity tends to shift priorities. Preferring people who give an earful to our voices doesnโt mean that we can be friends only with those who neverchallenge our thoughts. Holding hands and striking friendship even with a romantic companion and kids could be a better deal to save the day.
At the end of the day search yourself. โIs this friendship right for me at this point in life? How good is to have so many turning points in my life that arenโt about kids or taking care of parentsโฆbut about friendship!! โฆYou win the game, if you have answers to these nagging sores.
In any case you need a good deal of emotional intelligence to handle this. You have to know what you are biting into, whatโs a deal breaker and what you are willing to let go. You have to know what matters to you most and when itโs time to prove naysayers wrongโฆfor the choice is all yours!
People around me could never gather enough courage to say that they never found anything attractive in me, but somehow I knew. I was no freak and I had no great looks… at least not good enough to be an object of desire. I just couldnโt make heads turn..! I was the one who desired rather than be the one who was desired.
Still, itโs taken some getting used to.
I would be lying if I were to say that I didnโt miss the thrill of being wanted. The subtle pleasure of acquiescence to somebodyโs needs, the opportunity to say โyesโ instead of being asked, โwould youโ?
The other day, a man -friend of a friend, distantly acquainted sat next to me in a local coffee shop. I could never figure out this day why he said what he said a little while later in a low voice leaning across. โI can never make out, if itโs the academics that make everything desirable or if it takes sensuality out of everythingโ. He held my gaze after heโs done. It occurred to me that he was mocking me. Not giving upโฆso I smile and say, โItโs probably a little bit of bothโand lean in for just a moment. The brazen ugly sparkle in his eye bemused me… the way he took a jibe at me. Then I lean away again and say, โBut itโsโ probably more of the former, because I am married, happily so and gotten everything I want from this happenstance.โ
I felt uncomfortable for quite some time โฆ It scared me. Are we so free to say about things that are so unshakeable part of how we are to ourselves?
Today, though itโs a relief. I have seen people hide the truth of aging over their lives, chasing the desires and fantasies that I have neither had the time nor the inclination for. This is my body and I live in it more happily than I would endure the awful things Iโd need to do to make it appear young again!
That the years weigh heavily on me, is because they were good years lived well and I have no intention to bid farewell to good things that lit up my sky today… everyday.
I wonder what makes us yearn so fervently to be desired, to wear a charm mesmerizing enough to change moods and make heads turn. What stokes the fear of โbeing left behindโthat would otherwise carve an emotional wreck out of us ? Is there a way out?
Slight Smiles, Head Tilts, Tousled Hair: what this ‘allure’ is all about!
When it comes to beguiling, your looks could make you incredibly appealing even if for a short while. But deep down, we all are attracted more to carriage than other elements.
Humans are not as mysterious as they think. We have fairly expressive facial and body language cues to reveal our inner thoughts. Smile amongst them serve best in igniting the attraction even though it is not a definite facial cue.
The truth behind attraction rings differently for different persons. I have always regarded it as a kind of invention. I think of it as an irresistible force to which we usually are in so thrall that we ignore its power to limit our choices. When we desire for someone, this all-consuming feeling turns overwhelming. And when we become icons of attraction, we begin to fulfill all the slush fantasies.
Maybe… this is how it is meant to be. An overwhelming desire for another person stemming from a good deal of good looks!.
“If you knew the secret of Life, you too would choose, no other companion but Love”.- Rumi
Itโs hard to believe in crush at first sight, but I do believe in desire at first sight and I also believe that the knowledge of โhow to look attractiveโhas the highest regard and selling price tagged to it these days.
The inevitable business of finding happiness begins right here, something that is so hard to come by that we just couldnโt find it once for all and keep it safe in our pockets! Weirdly, as we chase it in seemingly brighter spots outside of us, describing happiness has turned complicated and experiencing it even more expensive.
The world is changing and so are weโฆlooking for honest answers to how to be a head turner.
Searching for Answers in happiness sales!!
I am not getting into details of the trillions spent in selling happiness, but isnโt it true that every year with an increase in happiness sales (beauty products, luxury possessions, marquee outfits), the incidences of mental health concerns are only rising?
I find that our biggest mistake is that we have come to commercialize the path to happiness. From buying confidence swelling beauty products to selling vacuum cleaners to a happy family, all are there with the sole purpose to catch an eye and externalize happiness.
The joke is on us. It exists for free and not far, within each one of us. Havenโt we overrated our sense of happiness? Arenโt there so many other emotions to embrace besides this blind hunt to look great?
It could be the very cause of unhappiness!
I looked beyond grudges
My woes would have had lived on if I were to keep raking myself with this one single thought. What could possibly be wrong with me? Why people do not find me attractive enough to be desirable? Instead I chose not to shoot myself in the feet and went about living a life aging gracefully and chasing desires and pursuits I never would have thought to be such a joy…the thrill of wanting myself…the joy of yielding to somebodyโs needs.
Beyond the man made myth of finding joys in unseenlands, I realize that I am actually happier today for having struck fascination to myself.
It all adds up. Being okay with both the troughs and crests and not demanding highs alone, is all about growing subtly in life. I withdrew from this mindless chase โto be wantedโ– one out of a hundreds of emotions, glamorized and boldly coveted. I probably saved myself from pitching into dark depths of depression, anxiety and other inconsolable personal and social challenges.
Believe me, we cannot be happyโat all timesโ.That would be a manic behavior. But once you realize that itโs not in ‘looks‘ but in the ‘meaning‘ we put to it that we find or miss this amazing emotion. The more we see it in โwhat we haveโand appreciate โwhat isโ,the easier it is to find it.
After all I could succeed in hoodwinking my identity crisis!!
Being attractive to other people is not always dependent on how we look. How many times have we seen the attraction go flying out of the window, the moment he or she opens his or her mouth? Truth is…the key to everything that fascinates others lies within us.
Find out what could make people find you awesome and more attractive- beyond the physical.
Sometimes even science canโt convince me. The most important characteristic is also the most basic. If I were to ask you what quality would you prefer most in a person, wouldnโt it be … kindness? Predictably, this is one positive sentiment that is shared right across the board and perhaps one benevolent choice that could make heads turn in appreciation.
This is kind of baffling!!.. because no where would you find advice on how to be โniceโ except that weโd all be so much better off simply bybeing kind rather than spending hours in front of the mirror. And it doesnโt take a lot to reveal this. Being on time, letting the other order first and choose where to sit and being polite to the waitressโฆ these small acts of kindness are clear ways to show that you are concernedโฆ. and in all probability kind too.
But isnโt it true that when it comes to make a choice, itโs what the other person represents and symbolizes is more compelling and attractive? None of us would miss the opportunity to be rather the one that others look upon us to be, than judge ourselves the way we truly are.
Believe me, we all would readily gift ourselves this much of concession whenever the need arise.
The ultimate hunt : It’s ‘nice’ and ‘sensible’ that finish first
When men think of a companion they imagine a woman who is open for adventure, sensual and cares little or nothing for what others think of her. These are the women who prefer to play by their own rules and live by their share of ikigai.
Women also have their share of stumbling when it comes to being hearty in their priorities. Sensible choices manifest in laboratories only. Itโs a bit different in real life. Slave to habits, women usually have a hard time breaking cycles of poor choices and keep falling for the wrong kind of guy. Even after they get burned they would go out and do it again.
Sadly, expectations do sometimes turn into ruined intentions. In a world where we endure a monotonous life with an overwhelming number of rules and regulations, we find allure of even bad mates as incredibly appealing. Sometimes the temporary excitement that this fascination represents is too much to just let go..
So, how do you find preference over others, when you know that people may doubt what they see in you but will believe what you do?
The fastest way to do this happens only if you turn yourself into a bundle of curiosity and start learning a few simple but rewarding tricks.
These three simple actions are the recipe to quick and amazing results. Follow them and you could actually redefine yourself as more attractive a person besides your looks, to be the right choice for those who prefer a healthy and everlasting relationship.
Forget playing it cool.
Even speed dating events โ where decisions are made in mere matter of minutes- simple interest builds up attraction. So how to make heads turn and others take notice of you? Listen closely, inquire moderately, hold your tongue so that you appear more polite and less inquisitive and ask questions that are witty but not frivolous. Believe me, these are known to work like an aphrodisiac!!.. could kindle a flame in your companion and in all probability make the other person find you more attractive than ever before.
Consider body movements.
These simple muscle flexing activities are controlled by the limbic part of the brain, the one that is responsible for our feeling of fascination, attraction and eventually love. Leaning towards the other person, smiling, keeping eye contact, are the three positive body actions that needs no words to build a connect to your advantage.
A smile is worth more than a thousand words.
โThe things I found most beautiful about a person are almost never physicalโ. # Slickwords
A positive personality always bridge emotions and physical attractiveness. Itโs not groundbreaking of course but men are indeed attracted to pleasant, cheerful and positive women. These personality attributes blend easily not only because of their intense physical appeal but because they carry social attraction as well- a key issue when it comes to choosing a soul mate.
Of course, a lot depends on the context of the man in question, his age, maturity level, relationship status, and current needs in lifeโ just a few of the many factors that are key to his attraction toward women.
This isn’t to say that you need to put on a happy face 24/7, but if you focus on being friendly and are open to meeting new people, it’s a win-win. Wisely put itโs all about having a open mind, warm heart and longing soul behind a smiling face that makes the day for those who are in the fray to win.
The truth holds something more respectful for a woman. Itโs her unique hobbies, skills and interests that make her more attractive as a relationship partner. There certainly is no need for her to be the same as everyone else to be attractive. Being herself is always a much better choice. The more she could demonstrate her true self, the more she could make a man feel as if he has met the most wonderful person of his lifetime.
Happiness is actually is one most attractive emotion expression and a smiling face draws admiration all round. A scowling one definitely isnโt the right choice for anybody to draw attention let alone win over appreciation. When you smile and generally look happy, you look more open and less intimidating.
Remember…a smile could move mountains!!
Down to basics of attraction
Deep down, do guys really prefer nice women?
Yes, but men strongly associate nice woman as one who is not twice as funny, exciting and open as they fantasize. Of course this is not meant to be a blanket statement and often not true, but then perception is everything.
And how could a girl attract a nice guy?
The best she could do is to demonstrate alluring qualities of a badgirl as imagined to have, without actually being bad. Its not a hard guess to know what guys want. She could show that she is open to trying new things, love being funny, adventurous, exciting, and has a sensual side too, without staging all the drama that a typical male fantasy brings to the table. The more she could portray these while still being the one elusive nice girl, the more she could make a man feel weak at knees.
For men, the excitement of an adrenaline rush would not be easy to pass by.
Don’t let go of people who could make you smile, laugh and feel loved
Being and remaining attractive to other person could be hard when you are looking for a long term relationship. Even in a new one, finding ways to spruce up your attraction donโt come easy. But, lesser attraction doesnโt mean that your relationship is doomed. If you run out of luck to look attractive to your partner despite having tried different techniques, its time to revisit your relationship.
Sometimes attraction thins away when we ignore what we have faltered in.
It’s all about priorities and deciding what one truly wants in life. Once we come to terms with the poor choices that we make while trying to look amazing to other and what we truly want in the other person instead, we can help ourselves and make the right decisions. Could there ever be a betteremotional reward for us than to turn compelling and truthful in our choices?
Being attractive and building upon a soulful relationship has its own share of sins and doesn’t come easy. You need to take time off to get to know the other person, change from strangers to friends and see them in every single light you ever wanted in the first place.
So, learn to revel in your true self and the better side of you will find ways to reveal itselfโฆ beyond physical of course.
With any luck you might find the mysterious connection of being attractive โinside out more rewarding than you would have ever thought!!
โYou donโt love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.โ โย Oscar Wilde
You could be a good looking person with a fair iota of intellect yet you secretly marvel at the ease with which your BFF earns attention than chasing it.
Or you could be in the midst of your admirers and still reel in awe over his or her ability to get the heads turning.
But when have you ever been yourself โฆjust what you loved in the first place?
There is nothing more unappetizing than that desperate urge that comes with needing the approval of others. We all have felt it at one time or the other. If you constantly try to assure yourself and barge into otherโs lives for the sake of being noticed then you are not the standout choice to be reckoned seriously. Attention earned without begging for it is what I call admiration and the one that you get by throwing yourself at others face is no better than a sign of pity.
Is it difficult to be compelling?
The good news is that being desirable, stealing someoneโs heart or even storming into it isnโt as complicated as you would think!! So long as you are honest to yourself and treat the people around you well…. heads will turn. Of course, not everyone around you will look your way but you will draw attention of the type of people that are there for the right reasonโฆ to enhance your life.
Some of the biggest decisions we make in our lives are driven by desire to draw attention. We look for things that appeal us most even if we canโt explain why a particular person seems more attractive than others.
So if you are looking for ways to make yourself a standout choice for a warm heart- so discreetly drawn to you and un-apologetically storm into it, consider following these powerful yet easy to follow choices that go beyond the physical;
Closet your sorrows and look happy
Too often we fall shy of our passions and hobbies… ashamed how others may judge us for them. What we donโt realize that by doing this we make ourselves more boring and unappealing. We believe that hiding ourselves like this is one way to impress others around us. But bruised conscience is what makes people see through that false perfection. It isnโt about being perfect, itโs about impressing people with what you truly are. So drop that scowl and smile… .Your genuine self is more endearing and attractive than you would have thought. Itโs generally regarded as sexist and patronizing when we are told how we should look in our faces. Obviously this hurts .One should never be told how oneโs face should look but it does give an insight to what is meant when we say โI would find you more attractive if you smiledโ.
Happiness is actually is one most attractive emotion expression and a smiling face mirrors your state of your mind. A scowling one definitely isnโt the right choice for you to draw any attention let alone win over somebodyโs heart.
So when you smile and generally look happy, you seem more open and less intimidating. It certainly helps if you look like you are not going to reject immediately. If you want to be approached then you should look approachable. For once just flash a warm smile and you will find a compassionate heart right under your nose in no time. All it needs is to open your heart for others.
And rememberโฆa smile could move mountains!!
Help yourself with a great sense of humor
There is no denying that humor is important for both sexes but in different ways. Even by modest standards, gals are drawn easily to a man who is funny, makes them laugh or at least listen to lighten the mood. Guysโ choices on the other hand find favor with a gal who thinks he is funny and will laugh at his jokes. Whateverโฆ it works great if you give the other a break, laugh politely howsoever terrible and unfunnythe joke might be. Just laughing a bit helps both feel good.
Your excitement could ruin the vibe
Itโs normal to get excited with the hope of a massive emotional reward. You consider this โimportantโ as the idea of getting โconnectedโ to somebody makes you feel specialโฆ the mere act of bringing it to life couldnโt be more thrilling.
However, the excitement and idea of โfalling in loveโ is usually short-lived. What allows you to really dig into it, get good at it and reach some level of success, rests on one basic attribute- modesty. Be generous with it – though some of us find it an ugly trait for those who wish to shine. And restrain your โexcitementโ even if it means being uncomfortable and smily..all at the same time. How often would you find a person who would admire your little weird habits, pick up your dirty pieces and still say they like you at the end of the day?
Soโฆ go gentle with your thrill experience .Your quest to find somebody who can make you laugh, smile , grow, want, crave, feel, make you mad but happy will have a perfect end.
Be โniceโ and โnaturalโ
One predictable behavior that makes people find you attractive is .. โyou are niceโ.You wouldnโt have found a guy who would confide; โIโm so into her because sheโs a shrew!โ? or a gal who would jump around gossiping; “hey! I fell for him because he is a jackass!โ? Just as much gals wonโt consider dating a jerk, guys probably wonโt prefer a sulking grouch either. Being genuinely nice to people around you is what makes you more attractive than those who either donโt care or just donโt find it worthwhile to dig any further.
So, if you want โsomebodyโ nice to enter your life, be who you want to attract. People who are kind are attracted to like-minded and are turned off by morons. Be polite, say โthank youโ, listen attentively, donโt take anything for granted ,be your natural selfโฆ and eyes around you will start rolling admiringly.
Another interesting fallacy that makes us so desirable, is equally perplexing. Gals tend to wear far more makeup thinking that guys like and would find them attractive and end up with way more of it than guys think they should. For guys less is always more, wear too much of it and you have jinxed it even before it all began. Nothing is anymore different for guys either. Rage of stylized haircuts, reeking deos , high-fashion clothing and accessories, offensive breath and you have begun on the wrong note.
It helps to have a great Life plan
Ambition and goal are the two most desirable attributes that make people follow people. These make you think about what you want to achieve and how you will get there. That you are capable of making informed decisions and a have sense of control over life, makes you the right choice to be desirable and attractive. Your willingness to consider other choices shows that you are capable of compromise and make other people want to go on the journey with you.
Spoilyourself
Most of us spend our adolescence and early 20โs for some kind of a โforeverโ love, one that is enchanting and mesmerizing.. one that we could melt ourselves into to be happy and ..loved. Thatโs so insane!!
We all are blessed with an uncanny sense to spot those who fail to take care of themselves and always lean on someone to โcompleteโ them without lifting a finger to be โcompleteโ on their own.
Donโt let yourself be dragged into this. Itโs miserly and lonely. Learn to be okay all by yourself. Eat healthy and to your fill, Exercise if you may and find things that makes you happy and joyous. Listen to those nice things that you have always wanted others to tell you. Be kind to yourself for who else is more worthy of it than you? And rememberโฆ self care doesnโt stop even when you are single. Push hard and make it your daily practice.. for you do not want a relationship you want one to last you a lifetime.
Stop worrying
No need to worry if you keep striking and miss out miserably. It could be just because youโre choosing the wrong ones at the wrong times. More likely it could be something to do with you.
Now is the time to make a new beginning. Mend your ways and find peace with yourself. With some little reminders you can start doing things differently and see where that takes you. Itโs always so easy to fall in love but so hard to find someone who could catch you.
Whateverโฆ thereโs always that one. And when you find them, you will get to know!!
Why shy away from retiring early when you neednโt? An early retirement is more possible than you think!!
For me an early retirement simply means that I no longer have to work for money and I have created enough of it to work itself for me.
Image source: ‘How to retire early’ by Matthew Makowski in investmentu.com
I am 46 and hung my boots last week. Since then I wait in bated breath, for all I know I may have stirred a storm in my cup of tea. Nothing dreadful has happened so far and if I am any good in reading patterns, nothing ever will.
Hereโs why,
At 26 I was a lead manager in an IT major. The desk that I graced smelled of bad upholstery. It at times reeked of an incapacitated future, especially when I had snappy conversations with a miffed senior or peeved track lead. Mulling in quieter moments I used to wonder what will happen 15/20 years hence when the cloud become so dense that no more data would stick to it, when the environments like Reddit run out of inspiring ideas, when skills will feel betrayed and a dismayed outlook will leave hundreds in a lurch. The rut will not take long to turn into a cesspool. For me the future felt weak and uncertain.
I now realize that our ancestors never taught us everything about future. Choices have an uncanny way of echoing narratives. We are always okay with choices what we love to talk about fundamentally but do not understand them at all.
Itโs complicated but I felt nowhere anymore clearer in my choices than I did at that moment.
I decided to let go of things.
It was dreadful and I feared if I was leaving little room for a stupid decision. But then decision is where everything starts from. Itโs meant to cut off all options and decide on one path. Good or terribleโฆ decisions are the firepower that make you unstoppable.
Leaving a cushy job meant changing life forever. Everything shades dark for a while. I may easily regret it later. An unknown destiny may conspire to draw me to a choice I knew nothing about or what lay beyond. Whatever, predicting consequences makes you no less a fool. Even mystically I couldnโt have foreseen the future.
For once I felt being mobbed with a million $ decision. Did I ever get to choose wisely? All I knew that time was worth more than the money and with less time I could be making poor decisions with worse consequences.
However, I am not allergic to facing the truth.
I decided to hustle things and make the change worthwhile. Not every time charging your Smartphone wirelessly could mean a disaster is waiting to happen.
What itโs like to stray out of the way and succeed
Retiring early is not end of everything. I had drawn plans to focus on bigger things, larger projects. For once I felt for no- nonsense pep talk. I wanted to make it big and beyond. No longer a remotely paged skit to be rehearsed and updated every weekend night. No Monday morning briefs, mindless meetings, meaningless briefs. For once, I craved to shut being gaslit. Crappy, but quick and simple enough reason..
Itโs ok not to be busy always and I do not underrate the rest either.
I am not a minimalist but I know how to ease into my present.
So, the first thing that crossed my mind, how much I can spend each year without running out of money if I retire early.
I surfed through customized retirement plans, advises and toyed with online calculators. There were several underlying assumptions that I decided to keep in mind, if I were going to go ahead and retire early
In most cases, the beginning happens to be your worst nightmare. People usually tend to withdraw at a higher rate and drain their resources much more rapidly. Re-balancing the corpus annually unmistakably ends in trimming of expenses. Annual spending increases every year keeping pace with the rate of inflation, howsoever hard we bite our tongue each time. These adjustments just happen regardless of inflation even if it exceeds 10%. You just could not make adjustments to the annual distributions on your invested assets and rate yourself โexcellentโ each time, for these are largely market driven. You are hapless and you could do no more.
The labyrinthine equations and combinations had then left me scarier. I knew that the other side of planning and investing for early retirement has an ugly face, the one which is replete with loose ends.
What those twenty years changed for me
I had hung my boots then and I donโt regret it now. A free lance developer, a consultant, an avid reader, happy family, increasing circle of influence … if this is what my choice has landed me with, I think I had figured it out right that one time. I am glad that I didnโt wait for it to happen.
I am now all the wiser about building wealth and achieving financial freedom. Research and data analyses with refined results that I have gone through over the time, have surprising takeaways. I could now evaluate the longevity of my assets using assumptions other than those I was reluctant to accept in the first place.
At the beginning I had reckoned that we could live comfortably on about 2% of our nest egg, yet I was worried stiff that I might somehow someday run out of money. It was natural but It felt like I was on a life boat in the middle of ocean rationing what little food I had left.
I had gone from earning and saving money to hiving off it!!
Retirement is scary even for the most passionate persons who gut their entire lives working ten-to-five and then are left with a miserly retirement purse to cling on to for the remainder of their lives. And to retire so early!!โฆ I might have bitten the bullet.
I followed the 4% rule and discovered that half the battle was won
Most of us have heard about โThe 4% rule of retirement spendingโ; the one that says that you can spend 4% of your nest egg in the first year of retirement. Thereafter you can adjust your annual spending by the rate of inflation. If you follow it, you shouldnโt run out of money during a traditional 25-30-year retirement. Having spent years studying retirement investment and spending, I know that relying on market is a recipe for retirement disaster.
But a combination of bucket strategy and 4% rule saved the day for me and helped me to brace for bad returns.
Hereโs how,
What lies in a bucket is what will help you tide over the worst
This strategy works best when you divide your savings (itโs early to call your retirement money) between short term spending needs and long term investment needs. Its simple; just call it two buckets incarnated- Cash and Investments.
And let me remind you one thing; when investing for long term cash needs, you face a marathon and not a sprint, so donโt dare to rush.
Your cash bucket is meant to hold three to five years worth of living expenses in cash (savings, term deposits, short-term bonds, mutual funds). Remember to deduct any other type of retirement income (eg. annuity plans, money backs, social security support etc.) when you decide on the amount that you are going to put in this bucket.
For example you need a modest Rs. 8.50 lac a year before taxes and inflow from other retirement income is Rs.2.50 lac then your cash bucket for a five year horizon should hold Rs. 30.00 lac ((8.50-2.50)x 5 yrs). If you have worked for say, twenty years in a middle management job, it will not be difficult to save Rs. 70.00 lac to Rs. 75.00 lac within this time horizon. This assumption is based on monthly earnings pegged at Rs. 75k and savings at a religious 35% of net. Interest accumulation, annual increments, DA raise, bonuses etc. are enough to keep inflation or contingency hiccups at bay.
Your Investment bucket could sail you through rough weather
Investment bucket will hold the remainder of your โotherโ monies in diversified low-cost index funds. The question, however, is exactly what asset size to hold in this bucket. Is it 100% in stocks? A 50/50 in stocks/ mutual funds and bonds? Or may be something else?
Just how much stake to put into this bucket? To give you an example; adjust the annual inflation rate @4% with what you will require from sixth yr onward, anything between Rs. 45.00 lac to Rs. 50.00 lac @12% rate of return shall get you what you earn today for the next 25 yrs. Your corpus of Rs. 45.00 lac would have earned you a whopping Rs. 91.10 lac in all these years and another Rs.28.73 lac @10% for the first five years of investment.
Few of you would argue that with diminishing buying value over the years, it may not suffice to be enough. These are no more than negative voices in your head and are irrelevant. Donโt let them win. They do not serve you, so donโt give them any undeserved attention or energy. Remember every day statistics have a strange way of revealing secrets. None of our forefathers ever lived in penury, nor shall we. What more, at 46 your drive to learn and earn is still young.
While you make these decisions, just be watchful of your overall asset allocation. So long as you follow the 4% rule, you will survive even a Bear economy. This IWR (Initial Withdrawal rate) is considered โsafeโ because it works best when things turn worst.
Add guardrails and breathe easy
As popular as the 4% rule is, itโs hard to imagine that you would follow it through a 30-year retirement. For one thing, who spends the exact same amount of money, on an inflation-adjusted basis, each and every year for three decades? More importantly, it is natural for you to cut back on your spending once bearish sentiments sink in.
This is where you need to put up guardrails.
It works simple. When the bears are raging, spend a little less than the 4% rule would permit. When bulls lock their horns, its time to spend a little more.
This โsimpleโ approach could prompt to you to ask .What do we mean by a โlittle lessโ or a โlittle moreโ. Just how much the economy should swing up or down before these guardrails take effect. There is no end to complex spending rules but one popular and easy one says that you start your retirement with a 5% IWR adjusted annually by inflation. To stay protected from over or under spending, do not allow the annual withdrawals to go below 4% or above 6%. One potential downside to this rule however is that, every year distribution is adjusted for inflation. This adjustment occurs regardless which way the economy swings. Here you could do well to;
–Cap the inflation adjustments to no more than 6% and skip them when your asset value has slipped.
–Only 70% of your last yearโs distribution determines what you will have in your purse this year. So make good the difference. Multiply 30% of your last year distribution with your portfolioโs year-end balance and then take 5% of that amount. Settling with a lesser IWR has a tendency of better leverage.
After retiring early, Iโve spent considerable time studying umpteen articles on spending strategies and I am clear on one thing;even the best planned strategies are somehow checkmated. So, itโs your call to make success happen to yourself. This world doesnโt owe you one damn thing and it wonโt deliver anything without a price.
Dare take a shot and who knows success may reshape your early retired life for good!!
“Each one of us makes his own weather, determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabitsย “.ย ย ย -Fulton J. Sheen
You could be really good in your work and yet marvel at the ease with which your Boss sums up the day with a flourish. But when have you ever been just what you loved in the first place? You are merely defined by your roles. Your desire to be more than a performer and be a McCoy in โfit allโ roles is a moot point of social absurdity in your everyday life.
So!โฆever wondered what allows him to achieve so much with so little efforts?
Like the top of the tree, it is our personality that people see first. Of course image, skill, and techniques carry their influence, but the real source of lasting effectiveness lies in strong character, the roots.
These timeless insights hold the key to most of our personal and professional life issues and could well change the way you may be interpreting success.
Everything begins with an end in sight
Would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here?โ .โThat depends a good deal on where you want to get toโ said the Cat… “I donโt much care whereโฆโ said Alice…โThen it doesnโt matter which way you go,โ said the Cat.–From Alice in Wonderland
Living by the design of things is the first step to a private victory. A clear vision of what you want and for what purpose, decides what is and what is not important for you in the day.Once this becomes visible you can create a personal mission and live by it for improved outcomes.
Always remember that mental creation always precedes physical creation. Once you begin to visualize the outcome in every area of life before you act, your blueprint to success starts taking shape. Your vision becomes your guide for day to day decisions.
When this happens, it’s time to reshape your future. But just donโt let others do it for you or even circumstances decide for you. What more turn a blind eye to the wisdom of others. Consider it only as a temporary restraint , no more.
Be responsible for your choices for you chose wisely
โWhen we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.ย –Viktor Frankl
For the third time this week, your company is rumored to be undertaking restructuring, for Covid crises have hit its anchors hard. You feel threatened and might even believe it to be true. You are aware that the finance department is searching for ways to latch on the expenses and save on companyโs dwindling resources.
Lately you have suffered a bout of anxiety and have started feeling the scrutiny of the management. Recent failures stem from obvious reasons but the management has so conveniently begun to blame you and hold you squarely for dips in performance. Every day in Office you could feel your Boss staring at you across the floor with utter disdain in his eyes boring down your neck. You are damn sure that your impunity is short lived.
You believe that you have contributed significantly over the past seven years but you are not certain that the management is even aware of your value addition to the company. You and your team had worked so hard to develop good relations both in- house and with businesses but seems like everybody is turning a blind eye to your sweat. Your department is slated to be downsized and you may be fired.
The first thought that will cross your mind is, what has conspired against me? Am I merely a victim of circumstances? or have I not made my choice wisely?
Itโs not unnatural to defy the habit of choice. Most of us do not allow ourselves the freedom to choose between choices and rather resign to turn of events and circumstances.
So what could you do to un-ruffle the wet feathers? I would say you hit the pause, mull over it and then react proactively. Think of what all lies all beyond your present. Start choosing between the options if you think you cannot salvage anything from this unworthy situation. Focus on what lies ahead than stay fixed with your present misadventure. Whatever you do, just be compelling in your choices and actions.
In any case your dependence on this job is no more than a โprivate victoryโbereft of any synergy with your capabilities. Shed your loneliness and learn to expand your circle of influence. Be more aware of yourself and become a transition person. Your โinterdependenceโshall change hands with โindependence โin no time and creativity shall take hold of your life for good.
One thumb rule that you should never let go is learn to be yourself and focus on things you can influence. Only then you can expand your knowledge, experience, trustworthiness and above all your circle of influence.
First things always come First
“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter leastโ.ย ย – Johann Goethe.
Prioritization of things has an unmistakable reputation of giving better results and fewer hiccups. Focus on things that are important and urgent first and put the unimportant ones at the back of the shelf, although you have to deal with them anyhow.
This rule defies all logic, for you may be required to multitask and deliver altogether, but remember,it is thecompass that must always come before the clock because where you are headed is more important than how fast you are getting there. So always liveNorth of the line and remember what is urgent need not always be important. Needless interruptions, unnecessary reports, meetings, phone calls, mails may be urgent but not important. Crisis, pressing problems, deadline driven projects, meetings reports override all other priorities and come first above all. Likewise issues like preparation, planning, recreation, relationship building is important but not urgent. Trust me, effectiveness stems from your integrity once you begin to act on your priorities.
Image source: Photo by Elias de Carvalho on Pexels.com
Fall for the habit of mutual benefit : Its intoxicating to think win-win
โWhat do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other “.– George Eliot
Effective long term relationships thrive only on mutual respect and benefits. Foster them. Strike rich relationships . Work on the belief that there is plenty out there and more to spare. Once you have struck a balance between courage and consideration, your win-win systems have already been built with faster solutions to problems. Workaround for a solution that works good for both rather than look for success expending and excluding others.
Believe me, these win-win frameworks work great when you are clear and vocal in your expectations, eager to delegate responsibilities and ready to work with conflicting priorities.
โListen or your tongue will make you deafโย ย ย ย – Unknown
To communicate and understand each other, you must learn to listen, for listening empathically is your first step towards influencing others.
Most of us do not spare necessary time and effort to properly diagnose the symptoms and rush to prescribe solutions. We assume that we have understood the issue well and hasten with a quick advice. This usually falls flat for we communicate from our own frame of reference. This is nothing unusual for we all are blessed naturally with this gift of communicating. We advise, probe, interpret and evaluate based on our own experiences and motives. We communicate merely our likes and dislikes. So what happens is that we feel we do not understand and likewise the other person doesnโt feel understood. This contemptuous disregard for each otherโs ideas, priorities, intent and an overwhelming urge to prevail upon, will fail you to โhit the briefโ every time you turn vocal .
The key to this mutual miscommunication lies within you only. Give a patient hearing to what others have to say and you will find that you are more likely to get the results you want than ever.
Solutions to complex problems have their roots in clarity on real issue. And what more once you learn to listen you can always teach to learn.
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts
โThe enemy of the best is the goodโ.ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย -Voltaire
People are often overwhelmed by the difference of opinion, perspective and the background of the issue. Rummaging through umpteen courses of actions is merely confusing and often let you down.
One way to swim out of this cesspool of uncertainty is to identify the common purpose, look around you, search and learn the differences. Once you have done so, rewire your mindset. Celebrate these differences rather than tolerate or even accept them and you could well be rewarding yourself with the third alternativeโOur Wayโ. Once you get rid of first two choices-โmy wayโ, โyour wayโ; you are more likely to end up with an idea that is better than what you started with.
And when would you know that you have created a third alternative? You will get to know this; when you have a change of heart, see things differently and begin to find a new way together. For once, fall in for the habit of creative cooperation and see amazing things begin to happen.
Use a benchmark to check your effectiveness
โTo keep the lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.โ – Mother Teresa.
Focusing only ongetting the golden eggs has always been a lot more ineffective than nurturing the goose that lays them.
While we learn to renew ourselves regularly we often encounter mental obstacles such as feeling too busy, lack of enough self discipline to stick to our commitments. These are harassing moments and need you to be strong. Even your petty chores like โmind over mattressโ (getting up in time), eating healthy or sticking to reading regimen even when you are busy will sharpen the habit of renewal.
In turn you will have an insight of your effectiveness from your point of view as well as from the viewpoint of those around you. Better still set up a benchmark to see if your capacity has improved, relationships have bettered and there is continuous improvement in your productivity. As you explore you will become more aware of your level of effectiveness.
Once you recognize how you want to see yourself and how others see you, things will turn easier and your โPrivate victoryโ will morph into a โPublic victoryโ. Things once familiar and boring will for a change start looking amazing and may even reveal the real McCoy in you.
โHope is a renewable option: If you run out of it at the end of the day, you get to start over in the morning.โ – Barbara Kingsolver
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” -Madam Curie
The analogy of things
I happened to sneak peek a diary penned by a close friend of mine, a tech graduate who had worked as a computer professional with a MNC for two straight years and then one fine morning found himself up rooted with nowhere to go. His story smarted of nothing short of torment and humiliation.
Rightly so, for mayhem is different this time and impact will continue to ravage the world for some more time to come. Millions like him have raced against the time to self preserve.
the verdict has finally sunk inโฆ. The biggest takeaway of this crisis is going to be not sports or glamour, but health and family; not politics or social order but predictable actions and social justice? For once we have been shown that what happens to one of our kind in Wuhan, can humble stock exchanges around the globe and even kill leaders and Army commanders in Iran.
The virus has shut down markets, museums, theaters, clubs forcing fashion shows to draw curtains and talk shows to play to empty halls. On March 12th this year, an Olympic gold medalist had lit the torch for a small, private audience and then had run through trees โฆalone.
Today, as lockdown continues, every morning I could only greet the danger that lurks outside. Absence of annoying ruckus in streets, people in shopping malls and even small grocery shops is strangely menacing. The virus has cornered our lives and โฆit is terrifyingly real! More than a million families have already lost someone and we couldnโt tell them that this had to happen.
Most of us would agree that the virus has left us with little choice but to keep reminding ourselves that ย tomorrow could be a wonderful day; that no matter how bad things are they will end somehow at some point of time.
ot just everything is lost. The flip side of this crisis has also borne some interesting green shoots for us which will help shape the mosaic of our future lives in an interesting way.
Here’s how.
Climate for once smells healthy
Many environmentalists had predicted the year 2020 to be the year when global carbon emissions could begin to decline. And now it’s happening at a scale none of us could have imagined, though it feels like nothing to cheer
The Chinese carbon footprints- the worldโs largest emitter- have mercifully shrunk by a quarter as the country sharply scaled back its heavy industries in a bid to combat the virus. Electricity demand and air pollution have plummeted in EU nations while global air traffic has hit a dead-end.
Of course there is nothing good about reducing emissions like this. It can always shoot back once the crisis is over and life begins to turn to normal. If this happens, climate goals could go for a toss once the nations scramble to put their economies back on rails. What if the Oil prices remained low? Wouldnโt that mean spike in consumption and an enormous strain on environment?
But I think that it need not be that dismaying either
The Governments can always put climate at the center of their recovery plans. Bailout packages and stimulus could offer tax credits for renewable energy and electric vehicles and include investments in green infrastructure projects like energy storage facilities, E-vehicle charging stations, solar and wind farms etc.
To make a bounce back like that of 2009,ย bailouts and stimulus need toย roll out some harsh guidelines to cut emissions. This in turn could stave off what current science calls โclimate catastropheโ.
Whatever rational the people who govern, rake up to exemplify their Covid efforts, it’s only the Will over Wisdom that will demonstrate the fate of what we breathe and how we breathe.
Renewed concern for public health and social security is now in focus
For now, public health concerns are overshadowing and thatโs a good thing. But as we start rebuilding our lives- whenever the virus backs off- we need to do it in a way so that far more deaths and sufferings are prevented to happen in future. It would be so foolish of us not to take advantage of this opportunity and roll out capable and sustained governance.
Now is the time more than ever to build a better world for workers. Protections like paid sick leave and healthcare assurance could go well with the most vulnerable among us. Itโs time to set asideย the brutal and punishing changesย brought about by the capitalism of the past and work together to rebuild a life in which everybody learns to be human.
For the sake of hundreds of desperate Venezuelan refugeesย living in desert shacks inย a Colombian border city, migrants of tent city on Mexican border, haplessย children trapped onย Mellila the tiny piece of Europe on the coast of North Africa and half a billion strong migrant workers across the Indian subcontinent, to name a few ;Itโs time we paid reparations to those who suffered, itโs time we made amend to what we had left unattended.
For these deprived millions, this world is the only place to live, call and remember as their Home.
Stuck between social fatigue and damning dismay, a restless world waits out the pandemic, leaning an overwhelmed healthcare system. With virus more likely to reactivate rather than re-infect, any anti science attitude will only push the nail harder and hurt deep.
It suddenly leaped to my face and hissed; โYou will never be able to get rid of meโฆ I will see to it that you rot in pain and die a horrifying death all alone โฆ you scumโ!!โฆ The spines all over its body looked familiar. I peered closely and drew in sharplyโฆ.the shiny spines looked more like okra pods split in half and stuck all over the body. it
My heart was pounding hard and I noticed I had broken into a cold sweat. “Itโs just a dreamโ.โIts over now, everything is just fine. A new swanky day like so many, is here. Life is sweet as everโ; I could hear myself saying over and over again to nobody.
Last night I had slept alone and had nightmares.
And then it hit me hard โThe nightmare is far from over. We are still fighting. The battle of sorts is still being wagedโ.
Dismayed like millions around me, I feared for myself and I feared for the world around me. I felt sorry for those who lost the battle not knowing what hit them and died a lonesome death.
Is it that fearsome? Is the life as we know it really going to change?
Curiosity got better of me and I thought I ought to look around and see what is there to know
Mystery surrounding viruses has more than meets the eye.
To begin with I searched around to know what a virus is, how it looks like, how it behaves and why all hell has suddenly broken loose across the globe.
Current science describes a virus as a nucleic acid molecule wrapped in a protein layer. It is potentially infectious, too small to be visible even by a light microscope, lies dormant and comes to life and multiplies dramatically only within the living cell of a host.
Nucleic acid is Nature’s one most unique life form and the primary building block to engineer what we know as ‘ Virus’. These are essentially large bio molecules inseparably vital to all living things, are chain like and are composed of a series of nearly identical building blocks called nucleotide. Cut things short, nucleic acid is the overall name for DNA and RNA.
Viruses are the most abundant biological entity on this planet and are whoppingly enormous in numbers; roughly 100 million virus to match every cell in our body. However because of their extremely small size, the mass tied up in these viruses is no more than 5% of the entire prokaryotic biomass on the planet. Also, because of their enormous presence almost 20% of the bacterial mass in the Oceans is infected by viruses every day.
Prokaryos as we know are unicellular organisms that lack organs or any membrane bound structures, do not have a nucleus but a single chromosome with a piece of circular double stranded DNA, all tied up and placed within an area of the cell called nucleoli.
CoVID-19 the most recent of the corona virus family was largely unknown, till the outbreak began in Wuhan, China, in December 2019 and turned pandemic wreaking economies and terminating more than a million lives across the globe.
What size fits corona virus
Quite a bit. A comparison between more common and well understood viruses
With a diameter of 22 nano meters, the measles virus is 8 times smaller than E coli bacteria, at 45 nm hepatitis virus is 40 times smaller and the polio virus is 30 nm across, letโs say about 10000 times smaller than a grain of salt. Actually itโs the size difference between the bacteria and virus that gave the first clue that the viruses did exist.
Particles of corona viruses (also known as โvirionโ) are spherical in shape and between 60 nm and 140 nm in diameter, averaging about 124 nm. This means that corona virus is smaller than PM 2.5, but larger than some dust and gas particles.
How it breached our defenses
We all know for sure that the virus escaped animals and reached the humans How ? ..Nobody knows for sure.
A strain of corona virus similar to SARS-CoV-2 -the cause of CoVID-19 and the one that is infecting humans- has been traced back to the Malayan โPangolinโ population of Southern China, though the role of pangolins as intermediate host or the evolutionary pathway by which this virus traveled to humans, is still unclear. Wet markets meanwhile are a major source of concern as zoonotic transmission to humans has not been ruled out.
Why some of us are hit harder than others
Excepting those with history of co morbidity- one that accounts for severity of complication and fatality- many of us though afflicted, may never get sick or experience the symptoms. Is it possible that genetics could be influencing the severity of symptoms?
We know for sure that tiny variations in genome sequencing in humans alters a personโs chance of contracting infection. These variations decide how our immune system would respond once the virus has lodged itself in our body. In few fatal cases one probable reason was found to be the onset of an immune response called โcytokine stormโ in the body; a surge of self-destructive cytokine molecules in the DNA, that occurs the moment it detects the virus. This disrupts the cell metabolism with fatal consequences.
Is Gene Therapy the answer to all our ills?
If you ask me..in all probability-Yes. An alternate to build upon within chaos is always a good bargain.
Here’s why .
Gene therapy is meant to introduce genetic material into cells, if abnormal genes are detected or beneficial protein is lacking. A normal copy of the gene is required to be introduced for restoring the function of the protein-the organic molecules found within every living organism .Made up of chain of amino acids, proteins serve various body functions like structure, transport and more particularly Defense. Some specific examples of these proteins are collagen, insulin and antibodies.
A gene once inserted does not function of its own but a carrier (generally calledโ vectorโ) works as a delivery agent and transports the gene to the targeted cell. What is surprising is that certain viruses also work as carrier because they can deliver customized genes – one which do not carry any disease- to cell except what they are programmed to carry. One such type of virus called โretrovirusโ integrates itโs genetic material including the new gene to the chromosome in human cell. Yet another type known as โadenovirusโ introduces its DNA only into the cell. This DNA is not integrated into a chromosome, leaving it to the cell to decipher and combine of its own.
How the therapy may work
Theoretically at least for now.. we presume that it will work though extent of success is still uncertain and open to debate.
One way this therapy could work is to directly inject the vector carrying modified gene from where it will travel to individual cell. Yet another one is to expose the patientโs cell to this modified gene carrying vector and then return it back to the body. If everything goes well, this new gene will generate functional protein and in turn guard the body from infection to severe infection. However, transporting a gene to a particular cell and its controlled functioning once inside, is a challenge sans answers till this day. Also, since clinical presentation of the infection varies from person to person, same therapy may not be the right answer for infections across the board.
The success of this therapy rests largely on identifying genes that precede the infection. If we could isolate the gene that makes some people resistant and harness it, return to normalcy could be a strong possibility. The unfortunate part is that gene therapy is in exploratory stage and is yet to make a distinct headway. Till such time the genetic susceptibility of a person to the virus , is identified and fully understood, select few antivirals such as โRemdesivirโ ,โDexamethasoneโ and โFlavipiravirโ will continue to be the most promising and perhaps our only cudgel in fight against the virus for now.
Are we headed into a break from Covid-19 any time sooner?
Itโs not just mass deaths alone although that is awful. The crisis has turned into something more bizarre and intriguing. it has changed the World as we had known into a failed society of sorts sealing the fate of poor, humbling the economies and spreading political chaos and social dismay like never before.
And -the end is not in sight as yet
Recent studies have indicated that corona virus has mutated and significantly improved its ability to infect cells. This explains why early outbreaks did not overwhelm the health care systems as much as the infections that ravaged the EU countries and US later on. This mutation-also referred to as D614G -has increased the number of โspikesโ on the corona virus which allows it to bind to and infect the cells more efficiently. The number of these spikes has risen by 4โ5 times , though it is still not known if this could be linked to severity of infection or increased mortality. Though it was known all along that SARSCoV-2 was evolving into new and more potent strains, what is alarming is that this strain is the result of a dominant mutation, one that is capable of more severe symptoms.
One thing is certain though. The virus is capable of jumping specie boundaries and adapting to new host per se. Predictably more of its cousins could emerge and invade us humans in future. It is how we react now, will decide if we could ward off a still severe health danger to humans from future corona viruses.
Because courage counts!!
Contact tracing, confinement in isolation, pills with unproven effect and virtual social separation; this has become one hell of a way to wage battle with an enemy that takes its toll at a frightening pace.
Even those who enthuse that we will have a vaccine in the next one year or so, also admit grudgingly that nothing is certain.
But wait!!โฆ..donโt loose heart. its not human like. We are a specie not designed for a defeat. Trust me Nature has its own way of evolving and revealing it’s secrets. But it bides its time. Who knows what surprises lie ahead for us? We may find favor with gene therapy well in time and come out with a vaccine that puts an end to threat of a global annihilation.
So, if we now condemn ourselves to a worst case scenario where people genuinely donโt care if they or anyone else lives or dies, we could well be talking of a guaranteed catastrophe that may take years altogether before it is overwhelmed.
Letโs hold hands , stand together and not push things hard. It’s time to lie easy, protect ourselves, follow ground rules and hope that the โanswersโ do not take long to be discovered . Whatever we do., let’s promise ourselves not to give up. With a tad more luck we could shore up our genetic therapy techniques and strong enough to bull whip the menace.
If its any relief and makes you feel restored, just remember-this world is not built to fail!!
Different timesโฆ difficult terrain and a defiant adversaryโฆ. Itโs time to toughen up and get ready for a face off, more with the fear inside than the virus. What you choose from these timeless insights will decide where you will be a year from now.
The world is no longer the same. A new normal has kicked in. Prologue to pandemic has faded and has left us bewildered and clueless .Rough patch lies ahead, we all know that. Best we can do is to survive through the remaining chapters.
As we live out a different life each day, we struggle to catch up with the answers to so many things.โฆ unsure andย hapless.
I had hung my boots a year ago. It took me a while beforeย I could decide to set about rediscovering my life, learn about so many things, discover how to be creative and productive, be useful, self manage and to be mindful of all that that happens around us. Something I had missed so badly through all those years.ย You would say I rather aimed to redesign my life .
Today, it all seems irrelevant. A brisk morning walk has turned into aย maskedย attempt to stay ย fit. Social distancing has marred relationships. Virusย behaving disruptively, certainly not good enough to get us ย through the pandemic.ย Empathy burns low.
It is impossible to have a ย marquee system of sorts to get you through the crisis.ย Possibly, for this reason alone I find it helpful to hang on to a few thoughts of my own in moments of doubt. Of course I donโt expect them to solve my problems, but at least they remind me that not everything is ย lost on me. They save my day by the changing the course of my thoughts even if just a little.
I have ย found comfort in these ageless insights, these words of wisdom that I hope could ย bring some reliefย to you too. They may change the way you understand the ย things happening aroundย you. Maybe make you take a turn for good even if just a little!
Donโt be afraid:ย ย You are never alone
To be alone is scary enough. But to be alone in isolation even if it is home, sounds all the more frightening. Loneliness eats into your senses. A prolonged one and it will invade your sanity and leave you a mental wreck. The price of being in emotional darkness for too long is too high.
But then there are possible ways how you could view your physical seclusion.ย Truth is you are never alone. If you believe in God, you have all the reason to experience the โdivinityโ, if you donโt, well!!โฆ You stillย have your best friend in you. Who is there to stop you from helping yourself with unconditional self compassion? Besides there is no one to take away your cell phone, Face book, Twitter, Zoom or Google.
Of course it lacks intimacy, nothing like the one you experience meeting others face to face. But it all is enough to remind you that you are not alone. Whatever you do just donโt miss the happiness of your own company and rejoice the moment you live in.
Stop worrying for what you could not control
โLife isnโt about waiting for the storm to pass, itโs about learning to dance in the rain.โโVivian Greene.
In our everyday life some of us have that passionate urge to resist the truth and turn ourselves into control freaks. We oftenย ย ย refuse to delegate andย ย ย live with the idea that if weย ย can have some sort of control overย ย other people and situations, we couldย ย well prevent bad things from happening.
But brutal truthย ย is so different. You just cannot have control over so many things happening in life. A storm may surge in, a high tide may flood your living roomย but you can do nothing about it except hold on toย your precious self to be safe.
The virus invaded us uninvited and thatโs the reality. It left us with no choice butย to accept that there is only so much we can control and no more. Not much you can do about it hereย I would say, except to turn to the wisdom of those who survived in extreme situations and later thrived.ย So many lived through the Holocaust and managed to find happiness later on. Think of how these people thought and behaved and turned up wonderfully alive and happy.
When you cannot change the world around you to your liking,ย adjust yourself. Itโs the only way forward. Deep within you rests happiness. All you need to do is to reach out for it even if for a few moments, each day.
Donโt waste yourself by indulging in blame game
โBe the energy you want to attractโ-Dustin W.Stout
Many of us are truly upset about the way things are being handled in pandemic times. Governments are getting cornered for not being serious enough in their efforts. Pent up emotions by the twitterati endlessly slam and mock them leaving little room for things that matter.
A few of us find a hint of humor in this but focusing too much does not help much anyway. Stay connected to this thread and you are wasting your energies like anything, so precious now to be frittered away uselessly. Instead, think of the way to improve. There are so many better things waiting to happen.ย Ride the changeย by focusing on what you do and what you can do and not how others have failed in accomplishing things.
Itโs futile. You just cannot change people by attacking them or ridiculing them for what they didnโt do or did so little. Ratherย lead by an example. Play your part in keeping everybody safe and donโt forget; tough times do not last forever but what you do always do.
This could be your moment to change possibility into opportunity.
Life was so wonderful before it all began ย and when it happened, like everybody else I also focused on all that that we hadย ย lost and what more we could lose.
I had moved to this city almost a year before the lock down. I was beginning to find my place in the neighborhood. Local community wasย warm and friendly. I had started to revel being free. An amazing new life was just taking shape.
Then, the virus took it away.
I wonder and ask myself what this pandemic has disabled us from doing. Few would argue that it changed the way the life flourished for us. Yet a few would claim a new world order has begun to take shape where life as we knew would never be the same.
Damn dismaying thought. But what the flip side of the focus says? What if we start looking for possibilities that the crisis has brought in its wake? Difficult to say what are those for you, because situation is different for each one of us. But of one thing I am damn sure.ย There are more possibilities in each moment than you realize. All you need to do is to look for them and grab them. Everything else will fall in place by itself. Believe me, the goodness of change will be worth it. Toughย times never last forever.ย ย Now is the time to hang on to the opportunities in this crisis driven weakness of sorts.
Nature has its own way of changing things
โYouโll never find a better sparring partner than adversity.โ – Golda Meir
The change is happening around us in a big way, rather too big to make any sense out of it. We were never prepared for anything like this and nobody knows how things will take shape in future; what will be the โNew Worldโ like in few months from now. Will we able to plan our summer holidays like before? What about kids, parents, evening with friends, the changing neighborhood?
I reckon its time not to comprehend things but rather ride the change. Time to live life one day at a time with hope, for hope is the only thing leftย now to lean on. One that ย is not just a wishful thinking, one that is so ย easy to happen of its own though it glimmers more in troubled times. It comes with an array of active choices too. Choice of actions, beliefs and attitudes, one that could give you the best shot to sail you through all this madness, a little less scattered, a little less hurt.
None of us has the slightest clue to what kind of world will survive the virus. Even the most knowledgeable are at a loss. So stop trying to comprehend it all and allow yourself to surf the wave. Donโt hold expectations for what happens tomorrow. Just live the change. Let go of the control for once. It could be scary but remember, you just cannot plan your way into tomorrow. Itโs better to surrender to change, pay attention to whatโs happening around you and learn.
The lessons from today shall serve you well tomorrow.
ย Like all bad times this crisis will not last long
Whenever we find ourselves in the middle of a crisis, we tend to forget that like difficult times it will not last forever and fixate on how it has harmed us. We forget that everything that has a beginning has anย end also. Every feeling, thought, sensation begins with an end in sight. Nothing is permanent. No matter how bad things are, they are not going to be with you always and will end somehow at some point.
So, whenever you feel helpless or worse still hopeless just think of this single thought and see amazing things begin to happen. More so, it will keep you going a long way for there is always a chance that tomorrow could be a wonderful day.
Itโs time to get tough, for our future is now trapped into an endless algorithm of ifs and buts. You may find these uncertain times as a reason to worry or consider it prudent to jump into an infinite pool of possibilities. Choice is all yours. So, choose wisely.
Who knows one day one of them may become your reality.
a day to keep your worries at bay?
The Maverick#59: Inspiring and empowering, for the best is possible. 
